Working...at the casino

Turns out that whatever Misha did the other day wasn't personal against me. I posted a question (without any identifying details) on the forum and some guy said he had a good idea of who I was talking about, which led to some private messaging back and forth, and he told me she went cold on him too without warning.

I think she's got some issues. Is it gambling related?

Anyway, I made a decision to try to win back some of the money for the $3500 I spent on my mum's eye surgery. My goal was to try to win $500 per day. I went to the casino on Monday with $2000. I was playing sectors. I got really lucky when I played 0-3 and it hit 15, where I had five splits. That was the core of my winnings, and with some outside bets, I managed to leave with $520. I was lucky, because I felt like I was out of control a bit.

On Tuesday I went again. A large part of me didn't want to. I felt scared, very scared, of losing. I didn't want to lose. I didn't want to go.

But in I went, I found a table. I started with outside bets and ever so slowly grinded my way up. I played sections maybe two or three times, but other than that, most of my winnings came from outside bets. I was pretty lucky.

I had more patience this time. I was willing to sit out spins and just watch. I saw one guy, wearing something like council uniform, place a $350 bet on the second and third dozen, consisting of a mix of $25 and $100 chips. It landed in the third dozen, and the dealer paid him out. I usually don't bother checking, but there was some delay so I did a mental check just for fun, and thought the dealer paid him $800 instead of $700.

The Vietnamese looking guy who I previously saw stealing chips whispered to the council guy that the dealer had paid him extra. The pit boss was called to check the calculations on another pay out. At first I didn't think she'd pick up the mistake, but then she noticed it. The council guy grabbed his chips. The pit boss began to ask him about it, and he quickly and sternly said "no, he's got it right".

The pit boss asked the dealer if he paid out $700 and he said yes. She said it looked like $800 and checked the cameras. I'm not sure how clear it was, but it didn't seem to be concrete enough for her. She called over another pit boss, who spoke to the council guy. In the end they let him go. But I saw this second pit boss talk to another senior looking person. It really made me realise how serious they get about over payments.

That Vietnamese looking guy is dodgy as shit.

At one time, I sat there thinking about how this was now like work for me. I had a target, to come in, reach it, and leave. It was no longer fun, and I could no longer be vulnerable to the whims of my emotions. This was work.

I ended up leaving with $600. I took a walk around the casino and spotted Julie dealing at a baccarat table. As I walked past, she spotted me and we held eye contact for a few long moments. She was wearing glasses, which I thought made her look older, but cute. I was about to let a smile across my face but held it back and looked away.

For a brief moment, she reminded me that there were girls out there who were worth pursuing.

Tonight, I returned to the casino for the third night in a row. It seemed highly unlikely that I'd be able to continue my streak of winning at least $500 in a row, yet another part of me told me perhaps $500 was the crucial breaking point where I could easily reach but also where I should stop.

I decided on a table where an old lady was playing pretty much by herself. I sat down next to her and started playing outside bets. The dealer was a young looking lad called Mickie. On one spin, the lady had a chip near the winning number. I didn't see where the chip originally was, but I saw the dealer slide the chip over to a corner bet, I think to firm up that it was a corner, instead of a loss. We looked at each other and smiled lol.

I made my way up to $200 pretty quickly, then grinded my way up slowly through two other dealers. The lady next to me won big on a few spins, but then ended up losing a lot back as I saw her buy in more. Part of me wondered if she had been possessed by my grandma and was somehow trying to give me signs. Every time I won, I wondered if my grandma was looking over me. Like Tuesday, I barely lost. Maybe it had to do with all the safe outside bets.

That dodgy Vietnamese guy was hanging around again, and mostly at my table behind me. I didn't like it. I'm not sure why he chose my table, is it because of me? I always tried to refrain from betting if I knew he was watching.

I thought Misha wasn't working today so I had a look around for her but didn't see her.

My high point was a $650 gain, but I got greedy thinking I could try to win all the yellow chips and lost a bit, before being able to get back up to $630 and deciding to leave. I went to the outdoor area and saw it was raining heavily. I had decided to buy some food for the homeless people near my work no matter what,

I cashed in my chips, then caught a taxi to where the homeless people were, just to confirm that they'd be there. They were. I was near my office, and figured I actually had time to change, so I did. I then went to KFC and bought two family feasts. It was a bit hard carrying it all in paper bags, but I managed.

I went to one area outside the court building. There was a guy sitting on a chair, it looked like he was sleeping. I said hello and told him that I had brought some food. One guy sleeping had woken up, and another guy appeared at the end of the seat. The sleeping guy asked what food and I said KFC. The sitting guy thanked me and said it was unexpected. I asked him to try to share it around if he could. He asked me where I was from and I told him HK.

I then left them with the food. I thought about my grandma as I left. And just about life in general. Maybe she'd be happy knowing I did a good deed. Maybe we all need to make the most of our time here, and maybe even try to help others to make the most of theirs.

I'm in a dark, dark, place...

Yesterday I was just playing GTA V when I heard my parents returning home. They were arguing again. I could hear mum chastising my dad, blaming him for something newly stolen, which he denied, all the while crying.

I had really had enough of it, and every time this happens it really makes me boil inside to hear my dad cry, and to hear my mum make him cry. I thought I could put up with it this time, like I usually do. But when she grabbed my torch and went to the store room to look for something to 'prove' that my dad had stolen it, I lost it.

I barged into the hallway, causing the doors to knock her off her balance. I grabbed her throat with both hands. I wasn't really going to harm her, but I just wanted things to stop. I wanted to send a message. I yelled at her at the same time to give me my money back.

Of course, this wasn't about money. I just wanted everything to fucking stop. I wasn't proud of what I did. Especially not a day after my grandma's death.

I finally let go, and returned to my game.

Later on, I got changed and went to bball practice.

Fat Pat would be there. I was running late because the weather had suddenly changed and started hailing, causing the trains to be delayed. I had to catch a taxi from Stratty just to be half an hour late. Got into a conversation with the taxi driver about marriage, and he said if you want to be serious about life, then you should marry the right person, but if you don't want to be serious, then don't marry.

Hmmm.

Mike and Fat Pat were doing the bench when I got there. It was good to see him again. I took a selfie of the three of us. It was a good photo, one that I knew I'd cherish for a long time.

When we finally played, we got teamed together with Jun and Kevin (Mike's brother). We complained about not having a big guy at first, but we actually did pretty good. We won the first two games, and lost about two in total. I played surprisingly well, hitting a long three, and another three in some guy's face. Fat Pat looked rusty as he hadn't played for a few years, but I could see as the games progressed that things were coming back for him.

Afterwards we went to eat at a restaurant in Burwood. I sat next to Daniel, who kept talking to me probably because everyone else was speaking Chinese.

When I got home, I had a shower, and messaged Jin. Then this morning I woke up and messaged her, telling her I'd wait for her at our usual cafe at 2pm.

So today, with great uncertainty, I headed out. I wasn't sure if I was going to get beat up by her boyfriend or not, but I went with it.

I went in and ordered a hot chocolate and a big breakfast. It was actually rather comforting to sit there and enjoy things slowly. I had never really done that before. I felt so...old mature.

I browsed through my phone as I ate, and with every person who came in, my first thought was "she's here". But it wasn't. I was there until 2:30pm, then I left and went to the casino, out of depression.

I bought in $500 worth of chips, though I could only afford to lose $250 as I needed $250 to see Misha. I was betting outsides cautiously at first, and was up about $100 overall. Then I lost it and decided to go big on the 1-2 sector after it landed on 14. This was pretty big, as I really didn't want to lose.

I didn't really watch the wheel, but had a sense that maybe it had just left the 0-3 sector as it was coming down. Then I heard the dealer say "14 - red".

Phew!

I looked down at the table and saw I had three splits - $510. So my total gain was $310. I left and cashed in, then caught a taxi to see Misha.

I didn't really know what to expect when I saw her, but I guess I was hoping she could keep things inside the shop and outside the shop separate, and treat me like she usually does when I visit her.

When the receptionist opened the waiting room door, I could see her standing in the hallway. She didn;t give me the cheery greeting as usual. She did try to look civil though, but I assumed it was only out of habit.

We went into the room at the end on the ground floor. She asked if I brought her the cat. At first I didn't know what she was talking about, but then I remembered she had asked for one of those cats I got from HK. I said I forgot, and later said she looked angry when I saw her the other day. She didn't say anything, and asked me to shower.

So we showered, in the dark, she said the light wasn't working. I tried to make a joke about why some shops have poor lighting, but she didn't laugh. I got out of the shower, dried myself, and laid down on the bed. She got on top of me and helped me dry my legs more.

She started sucking my nipples, then went down on me. Then she put on the condom and got on top. She asked me to focus, which I took to mean she wanted this over and done quickly. So I did.

Afterwards she asked if I wanted water and I said yes. She went out and returned with just one cup of water, which was very unusual as she always returns with something for herself too. She asked if I wanted a massage and I said no, and asked her to rest.

She laid down next to me. I began to explain myself. I told her that I had gone there that night to play, and when I saw her, I remembered she said she didn't want to be interrupted when she was focused, so I waited for her to finish.

She said she lost a lot of money that night and didn't want to talk about it. So I thought, alright, fine then, and laid there silent for a few moments. But then I couldn't handle the awkwardness. So I said I should better shower and leave. She got up. I went to the shower and cleaned myself up, then dressed myself. She helped me do up my buttons on my shirt, but maybe it was just to hurry me up.

She crouched down on the floor and avoided eye contact. I asked if she was ok. I apologised again. She said nothing. I walked out, and by the time I saw the receptionist (a young guy I had never seen before) she said goodbye. The receptionist had this look on his face which showed he knew something was wrong, as I had booked for an hour but was leaving not even half an hour later.

I smiled and pretended everything was alright.

I left, feeling so sad, and disgusted with myself. What the fortune teller said was right - I have difficulties with girls. I couldn't even connect with one if I paid for it.

My mind is in a dark, dark place right now.

My grandma passed away...

On Friday after work I met up with Jim. It was mainly to hang out, but we went to the gym at Bond Street. Apparently had been 'platinum' all this time, so not sure why previously they told him he couldn't access this gym.

I really wasn't feeling like working out, and came close to cancelling it, but thought it would be good for me so I went. We did the usual stuff, as well as finishing off with a bit of a chin up competition. He spotted a girl there that he liked and couldn't take his eyes off her.

I suggested going to the casino and he agreed. I suggested eating at that Japanese restaurant near the casino but when we got there it was closed. So we went into the food court area and bought something there. I decided to be healthy and went with a salad. It was a bit funny because I went into a coughing fit in the middle of it and Jim had to get me a bottle of water.

After we finished, we went into the casino. I won $30 on roulette and decided that was enough. Jim went to blackjack and I watched. But I couldn't resist the temptation and played on one hand. He got a 18 and lost to the dealer. Fucking hell. So that made me play a few more hands and lost. I went back to roulette after he lost all his money and I lost all my $200 as well. Bloody hell.

I had the strongest desire to chase it back, but 1) I had no money and 2) Jim was there. But the urge was strong on this one.

When I went home, nearing bed time, my mother told me that grandma had passed away that morning...

There wasn't much else known, but my mother did say grandma wanted to leave the hospital and wanted to go home.

I thought my mum would cry, but she didn't.

Misha at the casino

On Thursday I decided to go to the casino after work. I felt like it was killing me to not go.

I went with a relatively small amount - $600, because that was the most I could take without transferring any from my online savings accounts.

When I got there, I took a look and walk around for Misha but didn't see her. I had been told by her shop that she wasn't working, so I just wondered if she'd be here.

I went to the roulette tables and played 'safe' bets. I was up by about $110 but lost a bit and then decided to stop at $60.

I took another look at the electronic gaming area and spotted a girl who I thought was her. She was wearing the same grey long sleeve thing as last time, but had a coat on top. What really made me think it was Misha was the white ear phones. So I sat beside her, still unsure whether it was Misha. She was playing baccarat and had about a $530 balance.

I waited and saw that she played the same way as Misha - flipping from screen to screen as the game went on. By now I was pretty sure it was her. When she lost all her money and took her earphones off, I said "ann yung" and she turned around. She was wearing glasses, which made her look really different to when I saw her before.

She was surprised, maybe even stunned. She asked "what are you doing here?" and I tried to be playful and asked "what are you doing here?" She repeated it and I repeated it. She then saw the chips on my screen, flicked through them and asked if I was winning. I said I won $100 from starting with $200. She then asked again what I was doing there and I repeated the same.

She then "shoo'd" me towards the roulette tables and said "roulette". I took this to mean she didn't want me around, so I asked "you want me to go?" and I walked to the roulette tables. She walked in a different direction, but had stopped to look around for me. I think she headed to the bar, and later when I went to look for her I couldn't find her anymore.

I did feel a bit rejected, as I thought she'd be more open to seeing me, particularly since she had lost $1000 of my money before. It actually made me feel so down, that I felt like I would never find anyone to like me - except Jin. So I messaged Jin that night.

Semi-finals loss against HBK

When was the last time I made a post about a basketball game eh?

On Wednesday night we had our semi-final match against HBK. They were ranked 1st and we were ranked 4th. We were pretty much fodder for them. You know that team everyone wants to play in the playoffs because they are deemed an easy match? Yup, that was us this season.

Despite going into it expecting a loss, I still wanted us to fight for it. The first 10 minutes or so had the usual playoff tension and suspension. Even though we lacked serious offence, they weren't doing particularly well themselves. Then they started a burst after that and blew us away.

In the second half I started marking their star guard one on one from full court and shut him down somewhat, but it was already too late. I found that they could be easily disrupted by doing that, but too bad no one else seems to understand the significance of it.

Things got a little heated between Mike and I, as I yelled at him during a time out to stop shooting in traffic.

It was a bit of a sad loss for me, because I always had in the back of my mind that if we came first place this season, then it'd be my last as I would want to finish on a winning note. However, this loss has meant that I'd be here for at least another season.

I do, however, look forward to taking some time off basketball. The season starts again in a fortnight, and I've told Mike I'll be skipping the first few weeks to rest. Even though my achilles has recovered somewhat, I would really like some rest for my mind. Sometimes too much of a good thing is not good.

She deleted Kakaotalk...again...

I knew I shouldn't have, but yesterday after work, I went straight to my garage to retrieve my old phone which I had hidden away. I turned it on to see if Jin ever replied to my last message.

She didn't.

But, I noticed she had deleted both her Kakaotalk accounts. I wonder why? She has done it before in the past, maybe even two to three times.

Did I really affect her that much by getting back in touch with her?

Grandma...

On Saturday I went into the office late, got about 2-3 hours of work done, as well as meeting Michael L for him to give some divorce documents to me to give to Eva.

After that I went home and got ready for bball. As I was driving to pick Daniel up, I had a realisation. It was more like a feeling. That passion for basketball...it just seemed to stop. Right there. At that moment I was sitting in my car on Parramatta Road. I think...I was done with basketball.

It was a bit of a shame too, because once we got to the courts, I was hitting so many shots in warm up, which prompted Kevin to ask if I had been practising.

The games were actually alright. I played as normal, maybe even a bit better. I ran fast breaks well, and didn't make too many mistakes. I even hit two threes.

Afterwards Kevin, Daniel, Kelvin and I went to Macca's. I was so hungry I had two meals, and still managed to abstain from soft drinks. We all had a good laugh as we watched these kids brutally fighting each other in the playground area lol.

Sunday
As a last minute decision, we decided to get Shuing some casino chips for his birthday. This meant I had to go out there to get the chips.

So out I went, to the casino (again). And of course, this meant I had to have a few go's. I withdrew $200, and bought $100 of chips for him, and played 'cautiously' with my $100. I won $20 at first, then played black/third column and won on 33. I was up $130 and played one more to win $10, so total win $140.

That was pretty damn good for me, and I left.

I went home, then went out for a jog at the park and did one lap. I was pressed for time, so quickly came home, had a shower, and wrapped up the chips in a pepper container as a prank lol.

G came to pick me up and Michael L was already in the car. We went to pick up Shuing, then went to the trampoline place Skyzone. We had a bit of a hard time finding the entrance, but when we did, found Bobs inside waiting for us.

The trampoline place was alright. Facility was maybe slightly better than the other one we went to at Homebush, but there were way too many kids here. We were basically limited to three venues, but the most fun was dodgeball.

It was tiring as expected, and afterwards we went bowling, where Keen and James joined us. I bowled good the first game but bad in the second game. There were a bunch of girls bowling next to us and I couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't meet girls like that.

After bowling we went back to Shuing's place for him to get some tablets, as he wasn't feeling too well after the trampoline place. He said the jumping around affected him. Then we wnt to Chinksford for dinner where Malay joined us.

We all had a nice meal, G provided the entertainment with his poor table manners lol.

After dinner Shuing, G, Michael L and his girlfriend went to the casino. I think I did a good enough job of pretending I didn't know anything, except when everyone was walking in the wrong direction to the poker tables and I was like "uhhh I think it's this way". It also hurt me inside to see the way they bet and talked about roulette.

Shuing lost $20 on that wheel of fortune game and basically stopped there, which was ironic since he was the one who started me on this all those years ago. G lost some money on roulette, then won a bit on sic bo, then won about $100 on that wheel of fortune game and treated us all to Messina ice cream lol. How nice of him.

We called it a night and then went home.

When I was in bed, I heard the phone ring. I didn't have a good feeling about it. Who was calling that late at night? The phone rang a second time.

Then my mum's mobile rang. It was a relative from Hong Kong.

My grandmother was in hospital.

The last thing I heard, and which I really didn't like, was my mum complaining to my dad that this would mean they'd have to fork out some money.

Michael L's birthday dinner

Thursday
I honestly intended to keep the promise, but like clockwork, my brain started thinking about getting the loss back. Or at least, part of it.

So after work, I went home, got the car, and went out to the casino. I used $100 to play colour/column and on my first two spins, I won on both and just like that made $600. The first spin was particularly lucky - I had bet on black/third column and I watched the ball land in the pocket of 1 and bounce a few times. I thought "ah fuck" before it actually bounced onto the next pocket, being 33.

I knew how lucky I had been and was unwilling to lose it all back. However, I felt like I couldn't just leave after being there only 5 minutes, so I went to the next table intending to watch. I then realised that the guy playing was that Irish accent guy, so I sat down and we started talking.

He mentioned he was an ex-banker and told me there would be a crash coming soon, as it happens every 7-8 years. I asked if he played any other games, and he said only roulette, adding that it has destroyed enough lives. I watched as he won some money, and we sat there for probably an hour just talking. Mostly he played and I watched, but I did make two 'safe' bets and won like $20 more.

He eventually lost when the dealer spun a 36 and cleaned everyone on the table (except me, as I didn't bet). The guy said he was going to another table, so I left and went home.

I was pretty content to just accept the $600 return, meaning I only lost the $1000 I gave to Misha, which I was expecting anyway.

Friday
After work I went home, got changed and went to Michael L's birthday dinner. G came over and then got into my car, even though he thought we were going in his car.

Whilst out in the city, we were stopped in traffic, when suddenly both of us were jolted forward by impact from the rear. I realised a car had hit me from behind. I wondered how, since everyone had been stopped in traffic. I got out of my car, and this 20ish girl got out of her 4WD and kept apologising to me. I said it was ok, and asked her to take photos and then we'd exchange details.

So we took photos and then drove to the side of the road to exchange details. I let her take a photo of my licence, and I got her name and number, but she said she was from London and left her licence at home because in London they don't need it when driving. She was badly shaken up, as I could see her hand was shaking when trying to write down my details.

After everything, G and I went on our way, and she stayed to wait for her friend.

At the dinner, I ended up sitting next to a girl called Shindy. G was on the other side of me but bailed soon after to sit somewhere else to talk to a girl. I mentally blasted him. Later on Wira and his girlfriend arrived and sat next to me.

I talked to Shindy for a bit in the beginning, I thought she probably showed some interest but I wasn't interested. After a while I got into an interesting conversation with Jane and a girl called Megan about money and the property market. Megan seemed to have the same understanding of how money works as me, and she worked in super so that validated my understanding.

After dinner some of us went to Max Brenna for dessert, and there found out another interesting fact - Megan's boyfriend Lucas was a professional poker player. Shuing arrived during dessert and so of course engaged in a deep conversation with Lucas about gambling.

I was getting tired and was glad when someone called it a night. There was some talk of going to the casino but I was glad that didn't eventuate. After the car accident and everything, I just wanted to get home.

Why do I cause myself such pain? (Jin)

It is hard for me to even write this.

On Tuesday I had a hearing. Despite it being adjourned from about a month ago, I still hadn't had enough time to prepare, so I was already feeling not too great about it. But then the night before, I decided to message Jin.

She messaged back at about 3am, saying she had a boyfriend now who she was going to marry next year. One of her messages said not to call, and, knowing her, thought it meant to call her.

I called and she picked up instantly. Her voice brought back memories. She started swearing at me which I was prepared for. She told me to never call again. She was crying. I was pleading with her to come back. I heard a man say something in Korean. She said her boyfriend wasn't happy. I said I didn't care. She said she cared.

She said she wanted a rich man, and said I wasn't rich. I thought she only said that as an excuse. I thought if she didn't like me, she wouldn't be crying. She eventually hung up on me.

I laid awake in bed for about the next two hours before sleeping for an hour.

When I woke up, I felt sick from it all. I felt like throwing up. How could something emotional cause me to want to throw up? I thought I would feel a bit better when I got to work, but I didn't. The thought of seeking another adjournment crossed my mind. But I figured, if I throw up in the courtroom then I throw up in the courtroom.

I felt very close to throwing up at times. But surprisingly, the hearing went well. I don't think anyone picked up how bad I felt inside. At small moments, I would stand there after asking receiving the witness' answer, the courtroom would be filled with silence, and I would think about Jin. Then I would come back to reality and ask the next question.

I wondered why I cause myself so much pain? Why, of all times, did I choose to do it the night before my hearing? Am I somehow subconsciously seeking a challenge?

After the hearing, I knew what I was going to do. I needed to cry to someone. I wanted to see Angel but she wasn't working. So Misha it was, despite Misha always being the cheeky one I see for fun, the one I had never confided in before. Even picking up my Mortal Kombat X Collector's Edition didn't do much to cheer me up.

I tried to book for Misha but was told 6pm would be unavailable. Instead, I somehow found Jim to hang out with. We went to a Rebel store to check out their closing down sale where I got two pairs of long socks for half price, then we went to a Japanese restaurant for dinner. We talked about the usual stuff, but before my eyes, inside my head, I was exploding to cry and tell someone.

After that we went to Oliver Brown for coffee. Bumped into Dion as he was leaving. He did a double take as I think he thought I looked familiar but we didn't talk.

It was so coincidental, so timely, because I was going to tell Jim about what Coco had told me about Jenny. I told him about Dion and that Coco had told me Jenny had been asking him out to lunch and dinner many times. We ranted about how girls only go for money and status, despite both of us already knowing that. He was a good listener.

After a while, I went home. Almost immediately I went back out to see Misha.

When I first saw her in the hallway she said long time no see. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I saw her. She was getting into the usual routine when I told her I just wanted to rest. She could tell I was sad and asked me what was wrong. I was about to tell her but at the last moment, my brain did a u-turn and I joked that I was sad because I hadn't seen her, and she laughed.

She said I looked really tired. I laid there talking to her, and she insisted I take my socks off, so she took them off for me. She told me she had a day off the next day and I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was going to the casino. I was like, I thought you quit, and she said she hadn't been for nearly two months, but it was unhealthy for the brain to abstain for longer, so she would go once.

I half jokingly asked to go with her and offered her to play with my money. She asked how much and I said $1000. I said whatever she wins she can keep, but she insisted that she give me 20% of her winnings. I asked again and she said maybe so I left it at that.

She went out to get some tea and came back with a full tea set. The tea had a distinctive taste. She mentioned something about going to a temple on a regular basis. This prompted me to show her my HK photos where I had visited a temple, so we switched to lie face down and talked as I showed her my photos. She actually did seem quite interested.

When the buzzer went, I was like "ok, maybe I'll see you at the casino tomorrow" and she said "maybe?" and I said, "yeah, you said maybe" and she said she would be there. So I left, still wondering if she was serious or not.

Wednesday
During the day, I kept thinking about whether Misha would be at the casino. Could it be? Would it really happen? Was I about to meet the great Misha outside of the shop? A large part of me thought it wouldn't happen.

As the end of the day drew closer, I was getting more and more eager to find out. I left a bit early as it was quiet and I was still tired from the hearing. Also, having a bye in basketball made me want to enjoy the time off.

I headed to the casino wearing my full three piece vest with $2000 withdrawn from the bank in crisp $100 notes. I figured if she wasn't there, I'd play to make a bit, or if she was, then I'd give her $1000 to play with and keep my $1000, so biggest loss would be $1000.

When I got there, I headed for the roulette tables and saw Julie working. We made eye contact before I turned left into the electronic roulette area near the fish tank where Misha said she normally goes. I took a quick walk around, scanning everywhere, fearful I may not recognise her without her make up.

No one.

Hmmm.

I went back to the roulette tables and played colour/column with the $100 chips I had. On the first spin, it landed on 0. Fuck me. On the second spin, I lost as well. Fuck me. That was a quick $400 gone.

I looked u and saw an Asian girl with dyed orange hair walking towards the electronic roulette area and figured that was her. I walked up to her and the resemblance began growing. I sat down and said "annyung". She laughed a bit and said hello. She definitely looked different without make up, though the resemblance was still there. She was actually still wearing foundation, just without all the 'extras' that her job entails. She was also wearing just matching grey tracksuits. Still, she was attractive.

She gave me a $2 coin and I asked why, and she said for good luck lol. I watched as she slid two $50 notes into the machine and started playing baccarat. She asked me to play next to her and I told her I didn't like the electronic games, and she asked if I could go get her a coffee.

I went to the bar to get her a long black and a short black for myself. I saw that Julie had changed tables to one facing the bar. I was hoping she could see me carry two cups of coffee to show that I was there with someone.

When I went back to Misha, I gave her the drink and she thanked me. She soon lost her money and said she was going. She told me she had lost $2000. I asked if she wanted to play with mine and she sat back down. Before I gave it to her, I said to win $500 and then stop. She was reluctant, but agreed. I tried to offer her the pinky shake to cement the promise but she just grabbed my hand. I gave her $500 at first, and she pouted and I gave her the other $500. I was pretty much expecting her to lose it all.

She started playing but insisted I play on my screen, so I put in $100 and started playing. For some reason it didn't interest me much. Maybe I need to have the feel of the chips in my hand and the interaction with a live dealer.

As I played, I kept an eye on her screen. After a while, she was up $500. I didn't say anything to see if she'd stop like I said. She didn't. She kept playing and after a while she was up $600. This time I said something. She said she wanted to win a bit more. I guess she was on a roll. After another short while, she suggested going to get something to eat, and she cashed out and got her ticket, worth about $600 up.

I thought she meant we would cash out and go eat outside the casino, but she held onto her ticket and we ate at the restaurant inside the casino, the one I had been to with Coco, G and Wendy. We were allocated seats on the stools and she said she was ok with it. When we sat down and looked at the menu, she said she wanted to eat what the lady opposite us was eating. I looked over and the lady told us what she was eating, so we ordered it.

As we waited, we talked about gambling. She said she started about two years ago when her friend took her to the casino. She said her friend started with $200 and won $18,000. She said her first game was the pokies in pubs, and then she moved onto baccarat in casinos. I told her the truth, that I started about 7 years ago but that I would sometimes go months without it, and once even a year, because I couldn't physically make it to the casino.

I asked her what her baccarat strategy was and she said it was based on gut feel.

She mentioned she had trouble sleeping and that her doctor wouldn't prescribe her anymore sleeping pills. She said she had been on them for two years. I asked if she wanted me to help her get them, and she said "I didn't say that".

The food arrived and we started sharing it. She didn't think it was the same as the one the lady was having. She then pointed to something someone else was eating and said it looked good. I told her the food on someone else's plate always looks better, and she agreed.

After a few people near us left the table, I told her about the case I had once where a guy won $800,000 at baccarat in the VIP room and then lost it all. She was very interested in the story.

As we sat there talking and sharing the bowl of noodles, part of me couldn't believe I was here with Misha. And we still didn't know each other's names.

After finishing, I went to pay and she thanked me for it. I was kinda thankful that she asked to share instead of each ordering our own dish, because that would've doubled the cost.

I insisted on having a go at the roulette tables before we returned to baccarat, and she agreed. I thought I'd show her how it was done. I went to one table, bet on red and middle column, and it landed on 28.

That was three spins now where I had lost on that strategy. What the fuck.

I told her I lost and we started walking slowly back to the electronic screens. I noticed we passed Julie's table, and at the perfect moment, Misha stopped us to ask me something. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Julie was looking at us. And almost as if it was scripted, Misha put her hand on my wrist/arm as she asked me the question. Actually, no, that was better than scripted. I couldn't have timed it any better.

We went back to the electronic area and sat down. I wanted to build some more rapport and asked if I could watch her play, but she said she wanted me to play on my one. I think she likes to focus and doesn't like to interact while playing. So I put in my money again and started playing, always hovering around my starting amount.

Not long later, I saw that she was down to $900. Then almost instantly, she was game over. I asked her what happened and she said she got greedy. She mentioned something about playing $700 on one bet. I had lost my $100 too. She printed out my $1 ticket and I went to cash it out as well as the chips I had in my pocket.

All up, she lost $1000 of my money, and I thought I had lost $700 of my money but turned out later to be $600. As we walked out of the casino, she kept ranting about having lost $3700 on the night. I said she only lost $2000, and the other $1700 was my money. She said we lost $3700 together. For some strange, expensive reason, I found that comforting, as if it was her way of suggesting we were a couple.

I suggested walking back to the main area of the city, and she said that was too far and hailed a taxi before I could really protest. I jumped in, and during the ride she kept going on about how much money we lost. I was pretty cool with it actually, just telling her it was ok, and patting her on the knee. She was quite upset, and it reminded me of Jin.

She also seemed to insist on me staying in the taxi to go home, but there was no way I was going to incur anymore unnecessary expense so I insisted on getting off where she was getting off. I think she was a bit worried about me knowing where she lived.

When we got off, we started walking and I kept asking for ice cream. I noticed she was walking in very close to me, bodies touching. Initially she said no, as she wanted to go to a "PC room" (internet cafe), but she eventually gave in. I think she felt somewhat obliged after losing my money.

So we went to Oliver Brown and she sat outside after picking a gelato flavour. The stupid girls who worked there took heaps long to serve me, but as I waited I looked out to see Misha. She just sat there, looking out, thinking. Maybe she had a cigarette. Part of me wondered if she was worried about being seen, or being seen with me. Guess she couldn't be too worried if she was willing to sit outside.

After finally getting the gelato, I brought it out to her. I got my phone out and she asked me what I was doing. I proceeded to explain to her my way of thinking about gambling - I showed her the calculations of how much money could be earned by interest for $2000 in a year, saying that it was about 4%. I then told her that, so then winning 10% in one night is pretty good, especially if you then assume you can do that every day and times it by 365.

She said I was very logical. She also said I thought like a Westerner and asked if I was born here. I said no, and it wasn't a matter of where I was born, but just being logical. I seemed to have captured her attention. I was mixing addiction with logic.

I told her to never chase losses, and explained both emotional and logical sides of us when we gamble. She seemed to understand this, and said she gets greedy. So we had a long talk about that, and she was listening to every word I was saying. I also explained to her the difference between rich people and poor people, and suggested to her that her getting a 40-50% cut for her work wasn't fair since it was her body.

After a while, I thought I would try to capitalise on the situation and ask for her number. So I switched my phone to the numpad and asked her for her number. She closed it up and said this was our first time, and said I was moving fast lol. I wasn't expecting success anyway.

Eventually we decided to leave, especially since it started raining. We walked to the corner of Liverpool and Pitt streets, and made a pinky promise to never gamble again. She said she thought I would gamble again, and I said I wouldn't. I noticed the pinky shake seemed to last a bit longer than usual. After that we said goodbye and I headed for the bus stop.

Ikea with Jim / White Party / Jin

5 April 2015
On Sunday I helped Jim move...or tried to anyway. He asked me to go to Ikea with him so we could take some furniture back to his new place in Glebe (he finally moved out). He was a bit too optimistic, thinking we would fit a desk, a bed and chairs into both our cars. And he only gave in to reality right at the very end when he saw the actual size of the packaged products.

Initially, in the beginning, being there brought back memories of Jenny. I even told Jim just as much. But it began to fade as the trip went on. As we browsed through the furniture, I kept thinking about two things: 1) how unhappy most of the men there seemed to be, shopping with their girlfriends or wives; and 2) how much more fun this trip was with Jim than with Jenny.

I just felt like with Jenny I couldn't afford to make a mistake and had to watch everything I said or did, but with Jim, everything was free flowing - I could swear, I could say anything, and we had so many laughs. I remember at one stage we were both laughing so much that we probably looked like two high school kids mucking around.

It was a long day, especially at the end when we struggled with getting the stuff onto the trolley and out to the cashier. Jim had to pay for delivery because most of it wouldn't fit into our cars.

He decided to shout me lunch for my assistance, and I didn't want to eat an expensive meal so we went for KFC out in the city. After that I just went home feeling totally exhausted.

10 April 2015
On Friday after work, I went home to get my car, changed, and went to meet Coco for the white party at the casino.

It turned out to be quite an enjoyable night. When we first got in we decided to line up for drinks. I spotted Justin and he came over and talked for a bit. I was a little disappointed that Coco made no effort to talk at all, and it reminded me of what Jenny had said about how Coco didn't like white people. But the other thing was, Justin really, really stunk. It got to a point where I just wanted to walk away. I always thought it was just at basketball, but apparently he smells even at a networking function like this. He was here because he had just broken up with his girlfriend of five years, poor guy.

Coco introduced me to Claudia, who I had met a few years ago but she probably didn't remember me. I found her to be a bit snobbish, not really wanting to talk to me. I heard from Coco that she's another one of those girls who only cares about money.

I lost Coco for a bit and went in search for her. It was pretty hard, since most people there were wearing white, and there were heaps of Asian girls wearing white. While I was walking around, a girl from a group just suddenly walked up to me and started talking. I was totally not prepared for it and may have come off as stand off-ish when I told her I was looking for a female friend. She soon ended the conversation (in a friendly way) and left me to my own devices.

When I found Coco we got something to eat and joined a table and started talking to them. We met a guy called Yaz, and I was really impressed with his social skills. He wasn't over bearing, but I could tell he was trying to avoid awkward silences. He seemed like a nice guy too.

The girl next to me was Chinese and an assistant in a real estate company. I thought she was decent looking, but she soon mentioned her boyfriend so that was the end of that.

Coco and I left the table after a while and walked around. She approached two girls for me and we talked for a bit, but when she said she would go get some food, I followed her and she said she was trying to leave me alone with them. Damn. One of them was pretty good looking.

I tried to help her approach two guys she said were good looking, but they were already engaged in conversation.

We saw Ferris there and had a brief conversation. I wanted to go to the toilet towards the end and we went there but when we saw Jenny coming out we both looked away and Coco urged me to walk away so we did.

Afterwards we left the party and met up with G. We went to the pie shop near his house to eat a pie. Coco shouted me, which I felt guilty about. I drove Coco home.

Saturday and Sunday
I was a good boy and worked on the weekend, in preparation for my hearing tomorrow :)

Today
I woke up today and checked Kakaotalk on my old phone, to see Jin had changed her profile picture. When I had messaged her before, she changed it to the sunset photo shortly after, but today she had changed it to four pictures of her with short hair.

Although I always find girls to be more attractive with long hair, I thought she actually looked pretty good with short hair. She looked much more mature.

I miss her...

Another $640 / Cindy

On Saturday I had a quiet one. It was raining in the morning, which absolved me of basketball and/or jogging. I went to the gym in the afternoon which was nice. Then I messaged Cindy asking about seeing her. We had agreed to meet, but when I asked if she wanted to have dinner, she said no because it was cold.

This pissed me off. I was still in the "position of fuck you" mood and so I didn't feel like putting up with shit. I said I'd see her the next day, and I think she sensed something, sending additional messages saying she had taken medicine for a cold and that she'd see me the next day.

Instead, I went to see Misha at night. I actually didn't want to do anything but stay home. I was reading the Jordan book Matt had lent me but my dad asked me when I was going out, which I took to mean he wanted me out (he probably didn't).

I wanted to see Angel but I was told she was on "holiday". So I saw Misha. When I saw her she was like "long time no see". When we went into the room, I sat on the bed and she was kneeling down in front of me asking me when I was going to propose to her, and I was like, looks like you're proposing to me now.

We talked about the last time we met and what had happened since then, including new year's. She said she drank on NYE, and I was like you drink everyday, and she told me she doesn't because she's an asthmatic. She also told me she was going back to Korea for another breast implant, saying she wanted E cups. Not sure how serious she was. She said her visa ends in October and so that's when she'll be leaving.

We had sex which was over and done with rather quickly. I then showed her the money in my wallet and told her about the amazing win I had the previous night. I told her the whole story and she was entranced. I even told her about the guy who I thought stole some money from the table and she was interested. Much more interested than Cindy.

She had brought in a cup of hot potato slices which she said was given by management.

We got talking about baccarat and she taught me how to play. She said she used to play at the tables but after losing had to play on the machines. She said she was trying to quit gambling and hadn't been to the casino in two months. We both agreed that it was a bad habit and to not go again.

With Misha, I always find her easy to get along with and we always end up having a good laugh somehow. I always wonder why she feels the need to have surgery when I think her personality is already a huge attraction.

On Sunday I went for another jog in the morning. This time I bested my time by about a minute, running a mile in 7:55. I went home, rested, then headed out to the casino at about noon.

I knew I had already won big and gotten very lucky, and was cautious not to give it back. I wasn't in any hurry and played slow, rarely playing sections and just relying on outside bets. I somehow managed to crawl my way up to a $710 gain but went back down to $600 gain. I had been at the table for a long time and was getting tired. On top of that, the table was getting very crowded, so I cashed out, went to the bathroom and walked around.

I had pretty much decided not to play again, as I figured a $600 win was pretty good, but I got confident and thought I could win another $100 easily playing outside bets. So I sat down at another table and started playing. I only cashed in $400 worth and still held onto my $1000 chip.

In a short time, I found myself down from my initial 40 chips. I knew that throwing in my $1000 chips would be totally wrong, but I could feel it coming. I was saved when I bet the 1-2 section and it landed on 25, where I had a straight up. That brought my balance back up and I played outside bets cautiously again to try to round the gain off to $100.

But it wasn't meant to be. Even when I bet the first dozen and 19-36, it landed on 13. I chuckled and wondered how the fuck that happens. The highest I got was a $80 gain, but I ended up leaving with a $40 gain. So all up, a $640 gain for the day. Not bad.

I walked through Darling Harbour and ended up buying a black V neck sweater for like $40. This was good because the ones I had my eyes on were all at least $80.

I ended up seeing Cindy afterwards, but not before going to the casino again. I wanted to see if Jenny was working. When I first went in, I saw two promo girls trying to get people to sign up to membership cards so I figured that was them. I went into the casino to look around before realising what Coco had said about there only being two girls at a time. I saw those two girls again and noticed one was Asian and the other was white. So they had gotten another Asian girl, which meant less shifts for Jenny. I was satisfied and left.

Cindy said she was angry and I met her at the motel. She explained that the previous night, she had been waiting all night for a 4am customer but the customer had told her friend that it was cancelled, but her friend fell asleep and didn't tell her.

I asked her to come out to dinner but she said no. Instead, she asked me to shower so I did. We had sex but I couldn't finish, because I needed to go to the toilet and I had too much on my mind. She agreed to go out to dinner with me so we headed off.

We ended up at a Chinese restaurant in Ashfield. I held her hand as we walked along the streets and she didn't pull back like Jenny. However, I did notice her grip wasn't as tight as I would've liked. But at the same time, she was walking leaning into my body. When she saw abalone she said she wanted it so we went inside. I ordered it, as well as two other dishes. I only had $150 in my wallet, and because the menu for the abalone just said "market price" I was a bit nervous I didn't have enough. I excused myself from the table saying I needed to get my glasses case from the car, which I did, but in reality I went back to the glove box to get more money.

Back at the restaurant, the conversation went relatively well, despite me sometimes going quiet. We talked openly about her work a bit, and about how her friend uses cocaine. She told me she had run out of credit on her phone, and asked if I could re-charge for her as she had no money in her account but she could give me the cash. She did offer me the money but I refused and just charged $30 for her.

After dinner we went to the grocery store next door to get her some water and a pack of jelly lollies. I offered more but she said it was ok.

As we were walking back to my car holding hands, I noticed now her grip had gotten a bit tighter. I drove her back to the motel and we talked a bit before I rested in her bed. She watched some Japanese anime on her phone and I invited her to share it with me and we watched it on the bed together for a bit with me holding her back. After a while she said I was sleepy and went back to her table to watch it.

I actually fell asleep and was only woken up when she said "11:20" and she said she might have a customer at 12. I quickly left and drove off.

I felt restless and went back to the casino. But I wasn't really looking to gamble. Instead, I wanted to see if there were any whoring opportunities in the casino. I got to the vicinity and started using Wechat to look around. There were lots of agencies and girls but couldn't find one inside the casino. I messaged back and forth with a couple before deciding that it would just be another fruitless exercise in wasting $400 so I left and went home.

19

Been a bit busy at work this week instructing AW in a private hearing. Despite him being at the same chambers as Victoria, and me having been there a few times now, I haven't seen her nor has there been any mention of her by AW.

On Wednesday we played Flashbing, and I swear it was the most frustrating game. Both teams got off to a cold start with neither scoring for a while, but then they started scoring and we didn't. Then their best player got injured on a freak accident that didn't involve any contact, so I thought, well this makes it easier for us, right?

We changed courts because the injured player had to be left there, and the frustration continued. It just seemed like we killed ourselves, shot ourselves in the foot, lost the game ourselves. The other team didn't necessarily play good, we just played horrible. Mark looked like he didn't even try to catch some of our passes, the ball slipped out of my hand on a fastbreak pass, and Mike kept taking the ball up and losing it. Most frustrating one was when he lost it and the other team hit a three straight away.

THEN with a few minutes to go in the game, down by only about four points, one of their players fouled out, so they only had four left. EASY WIN RIGHT?

Fuck no. We still managed to fuck everything up and lose. Just truly amazingly horrible.

We're a weird team. Sometimes we play like the best team in the division, but then other times we play like we've just woken up from a coma. No one to blame but us.

On Thursday it was the last day of the work week before the four day weekend. My hearing abruptly ended at around noon when a witness decided he suddenly wanted a lawyer, so I had an early finish. Mob had just gone on leave, and it seemed like most other people had left early.

So after waiting for the transcripts and delivering them to AW, I decided to go to the casino. I had transferred $2000 from my savings account in anticipation of having a gambling binge long weekend. My goal was to win $100 each day, and so maybe get up by $400 at the end of it.

I got there expecting to see some of the usual dealers like Julie and Summer, but I barely recognised anyone. I lost the first spin, but then won almost every other spin. I got lucky winning on three splits, and thereafter just played colour/column, feeling a bit like a pensioner just passing time away. With each I would win $10 or $20, but it was accumulating. On one or two occasions I'd get both and win $110. But the main thing was, I never really lost on any spins. It was pretty unbelievable.

After about two hours, I decided being up $600 was enough, so I cashed out and left. I walked past the membership table area and saw some BMW promo girls were just about to start, thinking Jenny may be a part of it. I was right. After spotting three white girls grabbing their gear, I saw Jenny be the last one to get into the area to join them.

Yesterday at around noon I decided to head back to the casino for a bit more, even thought I had far exceeded my goal for the entire weekend. If Thursday I was winning everything, then Friday I was losing everything.

On the first spin I went on 1-2 section and it landed on 19. Then I went black/third column and it landed on 19. Fuck 19.

The wheel went on a streak of 0-3 sections and even though I didn't play on all of them, it was enough to hurt me. I hung in there long enough but the outlook was getting bleak. Even a change of several dealers didn't help things.

To make things worse, that 'death' looking old man was playing at my table, and I always tell myself not to play when he's near me because he just looks freakishly like death.

I went big, about $300 or $400 on one spin hoping it would be 1-2, but I lost. I decided to cash the fuck out with $200 left. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I felt like putting $200 on one number and leaving.

My thought was to put it on zero, and so I walked around the tables looking for zero but none had appeared. That was kinda strange. I ended up back at the table I was at and saw 35 had come up twice. I gave good consideration to putting $200 on 35, but didn't.

It landed on 35.

I stood there, thinking about how much of a cruel joke this all was. I mean, the realisation that I had just forgone $7000 was really starting to burn inside me.

I then went to the next table where the dealer was a chubby young guy with glasses, who I had seen many times before. The last number spun was 19. I thought it would be apt to put it all on 19, the number that seemed to be fucking me up all day. I had just a feeling about it, just like I had a feeling about 35 earlier. 

So as the dealer spun, I decided to put one, instead of two, $100 chips on it. I reached out but could only reach far enough to place it on a 19-22 split. I asked the dealer for 19, he asked "what?" and I said "nineteen" and he put it on.

It landed on 19.

Everyone on the table looked back at me like "whoa" and probably thought how the fuck I knew that. I joked to the dealer "am I allowed to give you a kiss?" and he pretended to stick his cheek out to receive one lol.

I couldn't believe it myself. It had happened. My first ever big win on a single spin. 

I was so out of this world, I wasn't even able to fathom what was about to happen. I mean, I knew I had won $3,500 but I couldn't process it. The dealer was paying out with a $1000 chip and something else for the two $25 chips on top of mine, and thinking that it was my payout, I said "no separate, separate".

The deathly looking old man was like "that's for the other player, what are you talking about?" I then realised he was right and didn't know what the fuck I was on about. I had won $3,500 so how on earth could that $1000 something pay out be for me?

Anyway, afterwards the dealer simply put out three $1000 chips and five $100 chips and slid them over to me. I asked for me $100 chip back and he said "no triple?" and I said "it'd have to be a pretty big kiss". I watched the next spin and it didn't land on 19. I walked off to cash in.

I left, and walked back to the main part of the city. I was so excited I was half skipping everywhere. I realised my actions were consistent with those of what I would do had I lost. It was a very thin line indeed between winning and losing.

But you know what else I realised? I began to think about how getting something so easily made you not value it as much. I mean, I had just won $1600 really, and up now by a total of $2200 (including the previous day's $600), but I felt so vulnerable to losing it again. I wasn't valuing it. I didn't appreciate it. It almost felt like nothing.

Then I thought about Jenny. Perhaps being too available all the time for her made her not value me? I think that played a large part. I remember at the time, I thought going out in a group with Coco and G made things easier to get Jenny, but in hindsight, it didn't. It just made me more available and decrease my value.

Anyway, I spent much mental energy thereafter trying to appreciate what had just happened. I had a one in 37 chance, and I put a relatively large stake on it. The ball had to roll right into that fucking hole. That exact slot. And it happened. And $1600 is not a small sum of money.

Value it.

Value it.

Value it.

I can guarantee you that this will never happen again.

I also thought about how this was a good time to actually hang up my boots on the game. It was a good way to end things. But would I?

I caught the bus back home then got ready for Brain to pick me up. It surprised me to see Shuing also in there, as he had said he would meet us at Burwood station. We tried to get Malay but he was asleep.

We drove out to Burwood to pick Thai up, then went to the pub that my team sometimes goes to after games, but it was closed. So it was decided to go to the Bankstown all you can eat.

Everything was going good until Thai and Brain spotted a cockroach near the salad bar lol. That actually made things more interesting as we kept seeing how long it would be until someone noticed it. Apparently a lot of people didn't see it right in front of them lol.

It was also interesting as the topic of the night seemed to be Brain telling us about how he went to the bank for a loan for a property but got rejected. It was interesting for two reasons: 1) he had plans to buy a property, and 2) he was being open to us.

Also of interest was how we found out when entering the buffet, upon registration, that the address on his licence was based in Campsie. No one ever knew that. When I asked him, he just said "because my official address is Campsie, it's my Aunty's address". Me thinks it has been done for insurance purposes.

Anyway, I ate so much I felt like throwing up. Afterwards we went to Stratty for a coffee. Shuing was argumentative as usual. I had tried to keep it under wraps but one thing got a bit explosive. We got talking about that video where the Thai model made a rant about how rude the Chinese were:

Shuing said he thought it was rude of the Thai model to film the Chinese, and I said it wasn't rude. He gave the example of sticking a camera in someone's face and asked how that wasn't rude. Thai sided with me and said the difference was the Thai model wasn't sticking the camera in anyone's face.

Anyway, I realised two things about Shuing that night: 1) he likes to point his finger at me when talking/arguing which is really annoying; and 2) the condescending tone of his conversations come largely from the way he starts a topic or conversation off. So for example, if we are talking about currency, he will say something like "unless it's Zimbabwe". He will anticipate you asking "why?" and then he will say something like "you don't know?" or "it's obvious isn't it?" as if to make you feel like an idiot for not knowing what the hell he is on about.

A more overt way he will do this is to ask "you know why don't you?" if you don't ask "why?". He will then proceed to explain with the strong undertone that you are stupid for even needing his explanation in the first place.

Soon after I suggested calling it a night before anything else exploded. Brain surprisingly was willing to drive Thai back home. He dropped Shuing off first and then me.

I then went back out to see Cindy. I was still excited about the big win earlier and wanted to tell someone. I first enquired about whether Angel was working but she wasn't. Misha was working, and she would be the perfect person to tell as she seems to be interested in gambling. But then I thought about Cindy and how any $250 that I paid would be better off benefiting her anyway, so I asked if she was working, which led to me going to her motel in Ashfield.

I got there at about midnight. It was the same motel that Jin and I had spent a night in before. Ah memories.

I was looking for room number eight, and Cindy was standing there with the door open waving for me to come in. So I went in, used the bathroom then sat down to talk to her. I showed her the money and told her, but was a bit disappointed with her response. I guess I was expecting Misha's type of enthusiasm.

We talked about her work a bit. She said she had only one customer the whole day, and that her friend was in room 10 working. I told her I would go on a holiday in June, and asked if she wanted to go to Thailand. She asked if it was dangerous and I said a bit. She also said something about me paying $1000 to see her for a day and I was like "hell no".

I asked if she was hungry and we ended up going to Macca's. We went to the closest one but the lights turned off just before we drove in, so we went to the one closer to Coco's place. She told me that her friend wanted a hamburger lol. I was happy to get it for her, mainly because I was curious what her friend looked like.

We made enough (funny) conversation while waiting for our meals. I noticed as we walked she would again walk close to me, touching my back. Despite me paying $250 for this, I already felt I had far exceeded my ROI on everything I had done with Jenny.

With our food in hand, we went back to the motel. She went to her friend's room and came back to tell me her friend was doing her hair and was always slow. So we ate and talked. I actually couldn't believe I could still eat after the buffet.

After a while I asked her to just take the food to her friend's room as it was getting cold, so she did. But later her friend came over to thank me. On first sight, I thought the closest resemblance was Lina, but her face was much thinner. I was glad that it wasn't anyone I already knew. That would've been awkward. After saying some greetings she went back to her room.

Cindy told me she had previously worked at Angeltown (which she called "638") last year. I asked why it closed and she said because immigration came and caught two girls working there. She said they separated everyone and interrogated them about their schools and courses. I asked if the 127 shop had been visited by immigration and she said it hadn't been for three years, and neither had 638 but for that day.

After eating I got tired and went to lay on the bed. She asked me to shower, thinking I wanted sex. I was too full of food to have sex. I said I just wanted to rest and she gave me a blanket on the bigger bed to sleep on. She sat at her desk playing with her phone. I couldn't really go to sleep because I was worried she would look through my phone (even though I did sort of trust her given she had left me alone with her phone several times already) and also because I was starting to get a stomachahe.

Eventually I got up to go to the toilet and probably made some bad smells. When I finished I told her I was going to go home, as I felt more oncoming attacks. So I left, and she was very caring, telling me to drive carefully, coming out to my car with me in the rain, and offering me her last beer.

Maybe it is all just an act. But it was an act I enjoyed.