Maybe I'm just meant to be alone?

Throughou the entire day I was waiting for a message from Jenny, even if it was just a "no, I'm busy".

It never came.

After work, I went to basketball as we had an early game against HBK. I hit two jumpers during the game, but at the end, for the third time in a row, I nearly staged a one man comeback. We were down by six with a minute to go and I hit a three in some guy's face. That could've easily started something but our mindset just wasn't there.

The week before, I hit a three at the end of the game which brought us a lot closer. And the week before that, I hit a jumper and got a steal late in the game to nearly bring us back.

As I sat down after tonight's game, I felt excited that I had hit a three. This was the second game in a row that I had hit a three. Imagine the commentator in the last game, "80 games between the last three he hit, and that one right there, unbelievable isn't it?"

Especially when you consider that I used to be a three point shooter.

However, the excitement was mixed with resignation. I had resigned to the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe being partnered with someone just wasn't for me. My immediate urge was to go out to a basketball court by myself and practice threes; not to go home to someone I loved and someone who loved me.

After eating with the team, as I travelled back home, I started getting angry. Angry at being lied to again. I think I give the words of women too much weight - if they say they will get back to me, I expect that they will. Is that too much to ask?

I began thinking about cancelling the contract I was on with the phone number I lent her. I went home and dug through my bills to see if the contract was up. I think it is. I pictured messaging her telling her to transfer it into her name so that she would bear the costs from then on.

Yes, that's what I'll do.

Kangaroo Valley / gym with Jenny

On Monday it was our group trip to Kangaroo Valley. I started the day in a similar way to Saturday, 

going to the shopping centre near me and getting large bottles of water for everyone as I was sure 

Coco and Jenny wouldn’t bring any, and getting a box of chocolates to snack on.

I also bought breakfast, but this time didn’t go for Breadtop as I thought it would be too boring to 

go for it again. So I went to Baker’s Delight and got some scones there. For some reason afterwards 

I nagged myself about whether I embarrassed myself by pronouncing it as “s-cone-s’ rather than 

‘s-con-s’.

I drove to G’s place to pick him up and then we headed to Coco’s and Jenny’s place. On the way G 

was checking his messages and told me Jenny said she wasn’t coming because she had a headache.

Whaaaaaaat.

There was some messaging back and forth between Coco and G and apparently someone had 

turned down the air-conditioning during the night, which made Jenny feel cold and get a headache.

I suggested picking up Yvonne first so that maybe with more time Jenny may get better, and that’s 

what we did. But even after getting Yvonne, Jenny was still sick and so we just got Coco and left. I 

probably should’ve asked Coco to take a scone up for Jenny, and was mentally hitting myself in the 

head as I drove for not thinking about it earlier.

Anyway, the whole trip went ok. When we got to Kangaroo Valley we stopped at the first shop we saw 

and sat down to have “the world’s best pies”. It was pretty good, but not sure about being the world’s 

best.

We got lost a bit, partly due to the fact that we weren’t really sure of what we should do. Canoeing or 

kayaking was pretty much out of the question due to the gloomy weather, and without Jenny gave me 

no incentive to do it anyway.

We checked out some local stores and then went hiking. The hiking was awesome as it led us to 

lookout points and so we got to be close to the edge on very high cliffs, which resulted in some cool 

photos. After the first hike we went on a second hike which led to another lookout point, but not as cool 

as the first one.

There was a bit of a problem with my car as sometimes it wouldn’t start. I needed to try many many 

times before I could get it to start. Funny thing is, no one seemed to panic.

The girls were hungry and wanted to get back to town for a snack and then head back to Sydney for 

dinner with Jenny. Coco kept asking me how Jenny was, but it was hard for me (or anyone) to get 

reception, though when I finally got it, I got a message from Jenny saying she wanted more rest 

(so she could make the gym the next day), so we decided to skip a snack and go for a full dinner.

We were indecisive about where to eat, and because G kept randomly suggesting Campbelltown, 

that’s where we ended up. We went to a Thai restaurant where we seemed to eat mainly Indian food. 

Conversation went well with the group, and somehow the idea of matching Yvonne with Brain was 

thrown out there and seemed to catch fire, so we spontaneously agreed for a group dinner on Sunday 

to set Yvonne and Brain up.

There was some talk of the AznConnect event on Wednesday between Coco, Yvonne and G. 

Interesting thing is Coco invited G to go but didn’t ask me. I know from fb that Jenny will be going, so 

I wonder if it has anything to do with that. Maybe Coco thinks it is an opportunity for Jenny to meet 

other guys? I can’t go anyway due to basketball.

After dinner we drove back to Sydney where I dropped Yvonne off first. I got the idea of buying Jenny 

some soup since she was sick, and while driving Yvonne home I saw some restaurants were still open. So after dropping her off, I told the others I wanted to get some soup for Jenny. I saw a bit of a paused reaction from Coco before she said “that’s thoughtful of you”. So we went to the main street in Burwood where I went into a restaurant to order some soup, and Coco went to another restaurant to get some food for her husband.

The soup took a while, and it was much larger than I expected (two containers). When I gave it to 

Coco I said it was for her and her husband as well. When dropping Coco off, I also gave her the fudge 

which I bought earlier in the day to give to Jenny.

I then drove G home, and on the way he said in a rather serious tone “[insert name here], you know 

there is a difference between being nice and overly nice?” I asked if he was referring to the soup. He 

didn’t answer me directly, but I knew that was what he meant. He just said it was now obvious to Coco 

that I liked Jenny. I said it would’ve already been obvious to Coco and he didn’t have anything to say to 

that.

Jenny did send me a thank you message on fb, but because I was so terrified that I had screwed up by 

being too nice, I didn’t reply.

Tuesday was the day I was supposed to take Jenny to the gym, though there was a bit of confusion 

about it all. The original plan was G and Coco were going to take swimming lessons on Tuesday, and 

then Jenny and I would be at the gym, then afterwards we would all meet up for a hot dog at Soda 

Factory. But then on Monday, as usual, the plans between G and Coco changed, and they decided to 

go the following Tuesday.

So on Tuesday morning I asked Jenny if she was still ok for gym, assuming Coco would’ve told her 

that plans had changed with G and swimming. I was giving Jenny an ‘out’ in case she didn’t want to go 

to gym without meeting Coco and G afterwards.

To my surprise she said she was still up for it, and so I called my dad to let him know I wouldn’t be 

home for dinner. I even gave her another ‘out’ when I told her about G’s and Coco’s change of plans, 

as it had become apparent to me that she wasn’t aware of it when she asked if it would be at Syd Uni, 

but she again said she wanted to come.

I then had to figure out which class she wanted to do – yoga or pilates – to know when to leave work 

as they were at different times and venues. She picked pilates, which meant The Wick at 8:30pm.

So after work I went home, bummed around for a while before heading out. It was pouring rain so had 

to drive slowly. As I drove I was wondering whether I should wait for her outside the car with an 

umbrella to give her that bit of cover as she gets in the car, and debated on that question of being too 

nice again. When I got there I realised there wasn’t too big of a gap anyway, so stayed in my car.

I SMS’d her and she came down soon afterwards. We seemed to have a lot to talk about – the 

Kangaroo Valley trip, her being sick, job hunting – which created a good flow as I drove there.

But it all seemed too much in the ‘friend’ arena rather than in the ‘romance’ area. The only bit of 

flirting/joking was when after I parked, I was getting my bag from the back seat and when I stood up to 

look around for her, I didn’t see her, and turns out she was right behind me, and she giggled when she 

saw I couldn’t find her.

We headed for the gym and she went in as a guest. She had to do a bit of paperwork and I joked 

“I won’t look”, in reference to her not wanting me to see her date of birth at the trampoline place, but I 

think she was too preoccupied to get it.

I was prepared to do the class with her, but she seemed to remember my original suggestion of doing 

our own thing so after I showed her around she said I could do my thing and she’d do her own thing.

She went to the treadmill first and I went to the stretching area for abs. I was a bit afraid there had 

been some miscommunication and that she’d miss her class, but at 8:30 promptly, she went down to 

her class, so I was glad.

I don’t normally spend an hour in the gym nowadays, so had to find ways to keep myself occupied for 

the whole duration. I did a ‘full on’ regime, which was what I used to do many years ago, of two types 

of bench presses and curls. That lasted me long enough and for the remaining 20 minutes or so I 

experimented with that pushing the heavy thing which you can stack with weights.

Come 9:30 I went down and the class had finished and people were leaving. She asked if I was going 

to shower and I was like “uh yeah…” I didn’t obviously, as that’s not my routine, so when she came 

out she asked if I did and I said no because there were too many people.

I asked if she was hungry and wanted to get something. She said she could eat something small, like 

a hot dog, and could go either way, and added that it was late and I needed to work the next day. I said 

I hadn’t eaten anyway so I’d take her to a different hot dog place. I initially had planned a meal at a 

Korean restaurant since only those places seem to be open late at night. The possibility of seeing Jin 

or someone related to her did cross my mind.

Anyway, I took her to Harry’s Wheels in Woolloomooloo. She seemed to like it, especially the bread of 

the hot dog, saying how fresh it was. She was going to pay but I said I’d get it. She tried to give me the 

money for it but I said she can get me back when she gets a job. She then laughed a bit and said ok 

that she’d buy me dinner when she gets a job.

We stood under the cover eating our hot dogs and talking about Hong Kong. Everything seemed to go 

well, but again, mostly within the friend realm. After that I drove her home. On the way, she asked if 

Kenneth played in my basketball comp, which I thought sort of came out of nowhere, even though 

earlier I had said suggested she could come to my games as she was previously a cheerleader and 

she said yes.

I brought up the macaroon cooking class and asked if she checked her calendar to see if she was free 

on 14 February. She said she would check and asked when I needed to know by. I said there wasn’t a 

deadline, but the sooner the better to ensure getting a place. She asked what time it started and I said 

around 2pm. She asked how many people would be in the class and I guessed around 10-15. She 

said she would let me know the next day. Curiously, she didn’t ask about the cost, particularly when 

one realises she is on a budget.

When I dropped her home, I waited to see if she’d make an extra effort to say goodbye after she 

closed the car door, and she did, standing there bending over a bit waving at me. Thinking about it 

now, it reminded me of the last time I saw Jin.

Sand Sculptures and Trampolines

Yesterday was an outing with G, Coco and Jenny. We were supposed to pick up at 10:30am and I was a bit late but it didn't matter because I knew the girls wouldn't be ready anyway.

I started the day by washing my car, inside and out, then went to the shopping centre near me to pick up some Breadtop for breakfast for everyone. I picked up G, then went to the girls' place, and just as I predicted, they weren't ready. They were about 30 minutes late, which really annoyed me. Part of me wanted to just drive off and fuck the whole thing.

So G and I sat in the car waiting. I suggested we go to the petrol station nearby for some ice cream and were about to leave the car when he said Jenny was coming. When they got in the car, I was still in a bit of a grumpy mood but pretended to be nice, and gave Jenny the bread and the nail polish remover.

Off we went to Bella Vista, and I could tell Coco was in a bit of a foul mood too, but seemingly because she is not a morning person. When we got there, we paid $14 for the entry tickets but it was a bit of a disappointment because the place was quite small. The actual sculptures were amazing, but there were only like 10.

The whole thing kept us entertained for about half an hour, if that. We were then talking about where to go, since G booked the trampoline thing at 5pm, and he suggested Home World (don't know why). Then Coco was like, nah leave that for Jenny and [insert name here] to do. Hmmm.

Jenny wanted a drink, but a cheap one since she is on a budget, so we found a shopping centre nearby and went to the supermarket there for some drinks. G also bought us ice cream and we sat at a table eating it. We talked about Jenny's job hunting, and started shooting around ideas as well as to what else she could do. I suggested she start advertising to teach children Cantonese, which she seemed open to.

It was also discussed that she would be returning to HK in April if she didn't find a job here by then.

I tried to talk about Coco by asking her about the new Applied Finance course she got into. Apparently it's an online course for a year, but didn't get much other info out of her than that.

After ice cream we changed the booking time for the trampoline and went there. When we were signing the waiver forms, both Jenny and Coco wouldn't let us see them enter their date of births, which was a bit funny, because we knew how old they were anyway.

Anyway, I was a bit afraid the trampolines thing wouldn't be good, or the girls wouldn't like it. Especially since the sand sculptures had already sucked. But to my surprise, both girls liked it A LOT! They were saying how it was good exercise and fun just to jump up and down.

We started in the open trampolines area, and it took a bit getting used to. We were exhausted after the first five minutes lol. When I watched the younger kids earlier, it looked so easy, but it actually takes a lot of effort to jump, and I couldn't even jump that high on it. Later on I had the guts to bounce off the sides, even though most times meant I would totally stack it but it was fun.

We then went to the pit area and that was cool too because you could just jump into the foam pit without a worry in the world. Then we went to dodge ball and that was probably the best, as we would all throw the ball at G, and sometimes I would sneak a soft throw at Jenny. I did get some "ooo" moments from Jenny when she saw me catch G's hard throws.

We rested a lot, but also kept up the jumping for the hour. By the end we were totally soaked in sweat, largely due to the lack of air conditioning in there. Jenny suggested we take a shower and I said I couldn't because I didn't have a towel, and she said to use my shirt as a towel. G then said she just wanted to see my hot body, which made both of us go silent lol.

While we were sitting at the tables waiting for Coco's shower, Jenny asked if I took any photos of her. I said yes, and then she was like "huh?" and turns out she had asked "did you take any ugly photos of me?" and she was playfully giving me a death stare lol.

When we returned to my car, whilst they were sitting inside, I was at the back and changed my shirt without anyone noticing. We then headed off to Bankstown for the buffet, but we were early so I showed them around the streets a bit. I showed them where I worked and also took them to the grocery stores which they liked because everything was so cheap.

In one of the cheap variety stores, Jenny and I were walking the aisles together and she said she was looking for a pair of scissors to cut her hair as it was getting long. I joked I could help her cut it as I did my own hair, which made her laugh and say no. She also mentioned that she needed to learn how to drive, so I think I can offer driving lessons in time.

At the grocery store, she bought a large pack of 'Super Rings' chips, she said they were her favourite in HK. She shared some around when we walked the streets and said they used to have double the flavouring lol.

We then went to the buffet and it was pretty good food for $25. As we were lining up, Jenny said it was good we arrived at the starting time because it meant we would get the freshest food. I said maybe they would give us the remains from the previous night, and she said something about being negative due to my work. I said that's why I needed her to balance me out, and then Coco said "oh they're flirting, let's leave them alone" lol. That was actually the second time in the day she said that, but I can't remember the first.

Also while we were waiting in line, we got talking about the size of our hands somehow, and I asked Jenny to compare mine with her as we held ours up against each other, but I noticed she kinda refrained from touching, even when I suggested doing it a second time, although the second time there was a bit more of a faint touch.

Only G and I bought drinks so we shared the cups with the girls. G and Coco shared a cup and Jenny and I shared one. I got lemonade in it first before the sharing suggestion came up, but when I needed a re-fill I asked her what she wanted and she said Coke. So I got Coke, and I wondered if she would actually drink it since for a long time she didn't seem to touch it. Eventually she got thirsty enough and drank it so we shared that cup. Hehe.

I also asked her out to the gym on Tuesday as G and Coco would be going to swimming lessons, and she said yes. I also needed a time to ask her out to the macaroon class but needed to wait for the perfect moment.

We were so full from the buffet, and then went to Brighton le Sands beach after. It was a bit hard to find parking but eventually found it at some distance away from the beach. We walked on the sand and even the water a bit. On our way back to the starting point, Jenny was walking in the shallow waters and I playfully nudged her into the water saying "be careful" and she grabbed my arm. I think we are making a bit of progress.

We sat at the stairs talking a bit. When it comes to one on one with her, I always find myself thinking "shit, what do I say?" We got talking about HK and Australia a bit. I asked if she had a best friend and she said yes, someone she's known for 20 years, and the one who she will be going back for in April for her wedding. She said the friend worked in marketing.

When we saw lightning and heard some thunder, we decided to leave. Back in the car, G suggested bowling and Jenny wasn't very receptive to it. I didn't care either way but did feel a bit tired. Few moments later Coco sensed how tired Jenny was and changed her mind, so I dropped them home instead. G asked what we should do with the remaining bread from Breadtop and I offered it to Jenny, and she took it saying she would have it for breakfast the next day.

G and I stopped at Macca's so I could get a bottle of water and also pay him back for the trampolines. Then I dropped him home. I fell asleep almost immediately when I got back home as I was just so tired.

Abandoned

The one person I trusted abandoned me.

Dinner with Jenny

On Tuesday I asked Jenny out to dinner on fb. It was after I had told her that my friend (Mike) couldn't get her an interview because of her visa status. I felt like I had gotten her expectations up and let her down. It seemed like a good excuse to ask her out to dinner with.

Anyway, on Friday after work I went home and started getting ready. I needed to use the bathroom but mom was taking an hour long bath, so I had to go out early to use the bathroom at the uni near me, and also to take some money out.

I then drove over to pick her up. It was a bit annoying because I had sent her a message saying I would be there in 10 minutes, which she read, and when I got there, realised I couldn't park in front of her place, and she wasn't there so had to drive around. Messaged her and she didn't read it. I had to call Coco, not knowing whether she knew of our dinner or not, and she just asked me to wait.

Finally after 15 minutes she came down and I drove around to pick her up. Must say though I was pretty happy the moment I saw her waiting for me. We went to that brazilian restaurant near Kylie's place which we had been to a few years ago. It actually wasn't that far from where Jenny lived.

I think it was the owner who greeted us, and he was really nice. He even remembered me calling earlier for the reservation. I was a bit afraid of Jenny not liking the food because there would be too much meat, but she actually liked it. She said she liked how they served many different types of meats in small portions, allowing you to try everything. She also liked the salad. Though I did notice she didn't finish her plate by the end.

We talked about our work history. I told her about how I had been a defence lawyer and prosecutor. She complained to me about her Australian boss in HK who was lazy and always left work early. She told me about how busy her work was in HK, and why that was the reason she came to Australia. I mentioned that she had won dancing awards as shown on her resume, and she said she had actually won a lot more than stated.

I gave her my old SIM card for her to use, saying the contract would end in February or March. She said she wanted to keep the number, and I suppose I could just transfer it into her name when the time comes. It was also afterwards that I realised that I would no longer be allowed to contact Jin. I guess that chapter should really be closed.

I asked her if she really enjoyed cooking and she said yes, and I said there was a macaron cooking class and asked if she wanted to go, and she said yes.

We talked about our Chinese names, and because my one is rare/complicated, she invited me to write it out on her phone. She could read it, but said it was really complicated. I think her name was pronounced "yuin zee".

I told her about me passing my bar exams and how I had decided to stay in my current job. She seemed to encourage me in my decision, but it seemed like she was doing it only for the sake of reassuring me.

I spoke to Jenny in Cantonese mainly, but when I needed to explain something really well I would switch to English. I had said we could go dessert after dinner around the area, or go bowling. She said she couldn't go bowling as she was wearing a dress and asked me to let her know earlier. I said Coco wanted me to show her the Chinatown night markets so we decided on that.

Towards the end I went to the bathroom, and then she went. I took the opportunity to pay for the bill.When she came out she said "let's pay" and I told her I had already paid. She protested a bit but by the time we got to the door I had convinced her to let it go.

So then we drove out to the city and checked out the markets. As we walked from my car to the markets, she was telling me about her dog 'Bambi' in HK. She said it was really smart, and how it knew the different procedures between entering her home and the new owner's home. She said after two years she had to give it to a new owner.

She actually really seemed to enjoy herself, checking out all the foods and things on sale. We checked every stall, and she said it would be good if there were more, or if there were more people. I said usually there are more stalls and it's busier, but maybe people were still on holidays.

After that we went to Messina for some dessert. Here, I thought she would pay for my dessert, as I had paid for dinner. Or at least let me pay for dessert. But when we were at the counter, after test tasting a few, she said I should order mine first. So hmmm. I ordered mine and she ordered hers from the other end.

When we were outside, I offered her a bit of mine on my spoon, and she instead used her spoon to get some from mine. Hmmm.

We went across to the park to eat and talk, and then when we finished I drove her home.

Watsons Bay with G, Coco and Jenny

On Saturday I went to basketball despite waking up at 8am. Nick, Bo and Mike were there, and I had a good run. Afterwards we went to eat with Daniel. I was probably a bit too tired to enjoy everything, so was glad to be able to go home afterwards and have a shower and nap.

Yesterday G picked me up and then we went to pick up Coco and Jenny for a day out. We went to yum cha in Bondi at first. During the drive there, I felt like I didn't know what to say to stir up conversation, so there was just a bit of talk between Coco and Jenny in the back.

When we got to the Westfield, it was a bit disappointing because there was a huge line outside the restaurant. I thought the girls would be impatient and want to eat somewhere else, but they actually decided to line up. Jenny walked off a bit to look at some chocolate and Coco suggested I go with her. I said no even though I wanted to.

When she returned, she said she wanted to get some chocolate from downstairs and I suggested going there with her, so off we went. We had a look at some sweets before she took up my idea of trying the chocolate strawberries. I bought four, one for each of us, and we returned to the line upstairs and ate them.

As we waited, I also showed them some photos from my HK trip, and Jenny had some questions which I think was a good sign. Eventually we got a table and sat down. To be honest, it was a bit disappointing. The food that came around was always the same, and the stuff we ordered tasted pretty mediocre. This is coming from a guy who is willing to eat anything.

Because of the lack of range, we sat there for a long time waiting for something new to come around. I gave everyone their presents I got them from HK. They all seemed to like it, except maybe G, I think I got him the erotic playing cards more for a laugh than anything lol. Although Jenny did say I shouldn't encourage him.

After a while G went to re-park his car as the time on the ticket was up. To my surprise, conversation still went fairly well in his absence. I think Coco has a lot to do with it. However, at one point, Coco and Jenny were talking about Jenny's visa, and Jenny asked Coco how she managed to stay. Coco said "spousal visa".

So I was right. Her marriage WAS a fake.

Eventually G called us to say he couldn't find parking so asked us to go down to find him. We paid the bill and left.

We found G on the streets in his car, and then we headed off to see if the Bondi markets were open. They weren't, probably because it had rained, so we drove on to Watsons Bay. We went for a walk up the small mountain/hill and took some group photos. It was drizzling a bit, but it was still ok.

Afterwards we went to Double Bay for dessert. As we walked, Coco asked if I wanted to get married and have kids. I took the opportunity to say yes, and then she turned around to Jenny and said so did she. We ended up at a cafe where I configured the selfie stick for Jenny, and we all took some photos with that. We had lots of laughs, sometimes at the expense of G, sometimes just at totally random things.

When it came time to pay, I remembered that I had paid for G's yum cha, so I said to him that he could get mine to make up for it. Jenny said "wow you really are a lawyer". Hmmm.

As we walked back to G's car, I playfully said I'd teach Jenny basketball and tennis, and Coco said "so it's a date". Hmmm.

The car ride back was a bit quiet. I could hear Coco and Jenny speaking in Cantonese about Coco's husband. They were saying something about how annoying it was that he kept moving, which meant she had to move with him and so it was hard for her to hold down a job. Coco also said something about having a fight the previous night, and how she told her husband to go to sleep early.

So maybe her marriage ISN'T fake, but it's just falling apart?

I then realised something. I had always sort of wanted to get to the bottom of her marriage, and thought when the appropriate time came, I'd cross examine her on it. But now I've realised I'm not in a courtroom; I was in a social environment, and the best way to find out things was just to hang around long enough to pick these kinda things up.

I pretended to fall asleep, and only woke up when we had arrived at their place. We said goodbyes, and I watched as Jenny walked off with Coco. I felt pretty safe looking at her, because G's car has strongly tinted windows. Then she turns around and sees me looking, and waves goodbye again. I then proceeded to blast G about how his windows were tinted strongly enough lol.

Thai's birthday / I gambled...

Ok, but it's not what you think.

So on Friday the high school buys hastily put together a dinner for Thai as it was his birthday on the 8th. Because I had made it for a restaurant near my office, I didn't see the point in changing, and went in my suit. Thai was the first one there and I was second. We made some chit chat whilst we waited, then Malay, Shuing and G arrived. I was a bit annoyed at Shuing because he said on Wechat that they couldn't make it, but then I realised he was bullshitting. It was annoying because the restaurant wouldn't let us sit until we had everyone there, so if I had believed him, then we wouldn't have had a seat for him.

Anyway, the dinner went well enough. I gave Thai the Bruce Lee stuff I got from HK. He said it was good it included a keyring because his one broke. Malay got him something from JB. Shuing got him something from Bali, like a beer holder or something.

Although we only had an hour before Thai had to go to work, things didn't seem rushed. After dinner, Thai headed off to work, and I went back to the office to grab my bag as the rest of us decided to keep hanging out. Shuing mentioned going to the casino, and it tickled my urges, but I shot it down by saying Malay didn't like casinos.

We decided on going to an internet cafe even though I thought that was extremely childish. We went to the place that used to be City Hunter and played Counter Strike. After an hour we left and went to a nitrogen gelato place. To my surprise Malay enjoyed it much more than I thought, as he went for seconds. I liked it ok, but was perhaps a bit distracted by a slight diarrhea problem.

After that, we were going to call it a night. G was going to drive us home and then come back out to meet Coco for clubbing. I knew Jenny would be out somewhere at sometime, but figured I could wait until Sunday.

But then Shuing wanted to hang out more, and to do so he took up on the playful suggestion that we go to KFC. So we went to KFC, where I half expected him to chicken out and not buy anything. To my surprise, he ordered something, and so did Malay and G. I just asked Malay to get me a bottle top (juice) which was funny because it was so seldomly ordered that they had to go "downstairs" to get it lol.

I sat there drinking my juice while they ate their KFC. G was on and off the phone, apparently talking to Coco, and turned out that she was coming over. I felt a bit nervous, but was glad that Malay would get to meet her.

I thought she'd come up, but when we finished eating, G said she was downstairs with a friend so we went down. G and Shuing headed out first, and I followed Malay directly, only realising later that he had walked away from the others and I saw Coco and her friend talking to G. I was a bit disappointed Malay was acting a bit anti-social, but I walked over to Coco and was introduced to her friend Wendy.

Coco wanted G to go clubbing with them, claiming that they had just arrived in the city and that it was G who asked them to come out for clubbing. This was a bit of news, because all through the night G had made it seem like Coco was already out clubbing and that he would be joining her later on after dropping us off.

So it seemed that G was in a bit of a predicament. We initially agreed for Shuing to take the car and drive Malay and I back home, but then when we were about to leave Coco said I needed to go with them as I was in a suit.

Now, I know this looks bad, because it looks like a "hoes before bros" type of thing, but I actually was really flattered that she, someone, wanted me to go. I also figured I'd get to see Jenny, and it didn't take much insistence or resistance from me for me to suddenly go with them. So now the plan was for Shuing and Malay to go home by themselves, which I felt really bad about. I texted them later about it and they gave the expected "it's cool".

So G and I headed off with Coco and Wendy down the main street of the city. I thought Wendy looked a bit familiar and I was trying to think of where I had seen her before. Anyway, I felt kinda cool to be walking down the street like two couples, as Wendy and Coco were kinda dressed up. Coco did surprise me with how good she could look with a bit of effort.

We arrived at The Ivy and I acted like I knew where it was, even though I wasn't 100% sure. We made our way in after paying a goddamn $20 entry fee, and then bought some drinks. Nothing much happened, as we just ended up sitting down and talking. Turns out Wendy works with Coco and is 19, about to begin her law course. Even before that I figured she looked way too young. She would also later reveal that she had a boyfriend who was 26.

We moved from one side of The Ivy to the other, and this other side was a lot nicer. It was an outdoor pool area, and it was like a scene from one of those American frat parties you see in movies. Although the place was full of wankers, I still thought this setting was pretty cool.

We sat at the pool edge talking for a bit. There was some talk of eating some food but then Wendy decided not to eat. G later went to get his car so we could go to the casino where Jenny was, in the clubbing area.

Later on we left with G to go to the casino. I had that slight tinge of excitement come back, but knew I couldn't do too much damage with people around me, and also because I didn't have much money accessible. We went into the casino to eat first. Wendy struck me as a bit weird, or a bit too materialisitc/superficial. When she took a photo and uploaded it onto fb, she demanded that we 'like' it. Then when Coco and I decided to just eat entrees, she demanded that G get a full meal to eat with her.

Earlier in the night I had asked her and Coco how much money they would need to make per year to feel content. While Coco said about $80,000, Wendy said she wanted $500,000. Wow. Geez.

We spent a lot of time at the restaurant, just talking and watching Wendy slowly eat. When we finished, we went around to check the table games. I lagged behind to keep a lookout for any dealers that might recognise me. Last thing I wanted was for them to see a dealer greet me like I was a regular. The strategy worked, because although none of the dealers recognised me, and I didn't recognise any either, there was one towards the end who recognised me. He was the NZ looking guy I had seen work the very early morning shifts. We exchanged 'gangster nods' and I was going to let it go quietly, but he yelled out "play over here" and I said "next time". I don't think anyone from my group overheard us.

In the end the temptation was too much, and I played $50. I bet on black/third column and won $25 then told the group to move on. They seemed a bit amazed, but didn't seem to pick up on how familiar I was with the game. Wendy asked me if I lost, and I explained to her how I used two chips to win three back. She asked me what the pay out was and I told her, and she asked why then I didn't get a pay out of 35 chips lol.

We walked over to the big wheel of fortune thingy, where G gave Wendy $15 to play with as she had asked several times if she could play with his money. She lost it all. We then spent a bit of time watching blackjack. I could see Wendy was really mesmerised by the money, whereas Coco just seemed to look on with curiosity.

After a while, we met up with Jenny. We were to meet her at the entrance, and saw her on our way out as she was walking in. We called out to her and she turned around to join us. She talked to Coco first and I heard her ask who the jacket she was wearing belonged to as it was so "ying" (stylish), and Coco said it was mine (she asked to wear it as she was cold).

Then Jenny came over and talked to me, asking if I liked her dress. I actually didn't, but I said yes. It just looked a bit odd on her. She seemed really talkative and like she wanted to catch up, almost as if she missed me. She asked me about my HK trip and I told her. We kept talking about it in the car, where the conversation was mainly between her and I.

We dropped Wendy off first, and then Coco and Jenny back at their place. It was about 3:30am, and I had basketball at 8am. God.

Last day - Day 8

I woke up feeling a little better, possibly motivated by the need to pack. I started packing my things and thought I did a pretty good job of limiting my purchases to fit in the suitcase AND getting it around the 20kg mark. But then I realised I needed to fit the bag of stuff my mom's friend gave me to pass onto my mom, and so in the end I needed to wear the G2000 jacket I bought instead of having it in the suitcase.

When I checked out, I thought I'd be getting my $500HKD back clean, but was told I had to pay $60HKD for chips I ate. I said I ate my own chips but not any of the hotel chips. The girl said she'd look into it for me and made a call. I then heard another girl say in Chinese to her (and keep in mind they don't know I understand Chinese) something like "why would he eat the chips, it's been there for so long".

And so, that is how I got sick. Fucking hell.

I just wanted to get out of there. I said not to worry about it, just charge me, and so they did and I left. I went to the airport via the subway and took my time finding the luggage storage area. I left my stuff there and for a moment considered not leaving the airport as I was too tired. But then I reminded myself I needed to make the most of things here, so I headed back to the city.

I walked through the shopping centre that Fat Pat had taken me through seven years earlier. There wasn't much I wanted to buy except for more of those G2000 sweaters because they fit so well. Unfortunately they didn't have my size.

As I walked through the mall, I realised that a week's worth of holiday was enough for me. I felt like it was the beginning of being tired of the place. I started resenting the people - how they barged into you without an apology, how money hungry everyone was, and just their general rudeness. I still had some excitement left for the place, but I felt like if I stayed any longer then I would be wishing I was home. Or maybe I was just sick.

Later on I ended up catching up with Emy. We went for a drink at a cafe and talked a bit, the first real one on one conversation we had. She started crying a bit when we got to talking about her boyfriend. I felt like telling her story to show her that maybe mine was worse, but thought I better give her the spotlight. She managed to stop the tears when Anir called my phone and we started talking about meeting him.

We met up with him and went for dinner. It wasn't very enjoyable, for me at least, because my diarrhea started acting up. I went to the bathroom as soon as we went in, and then shortly after again. I was terribly embarrassed, but when I came out the second time, Emy had actually made me a drink she called "stomach plaster". I really really appreciated that.

After dinner they walked me to the MTR station where we hugged and said our goodbyes. I travelled back to the airport, and my cousin Cathy called me saying she had just finished work and would try to catch up to me. Part of me wondered if she was bullshitting and just trying to be nice, so I didn't really insist on her rushing.

In the end, she couldn't make it. She had just arrived at Central by the time I checked in. She said she had actually wanted to pass onto me something from her mother to my father, being a jade stone. She said to tell my father that her mother misses him. She called me once more when I was through customs and everything waiting to board.

For some reason there was a bit of a delay with the boarding time, and then it was painfully slow to process everyone. They checked all our tickets while we were in line, but then customs searched everyone's bags one by one. Then when I got onto the plane, I was looking forward to my aisle seat which I had reserved, but a lesbian couple was in my seat and asked if I would mind swapping as they wanted to sit together. Grrrr.

So I swapped and sat behind them at the window seat next to a guy. My diarrhea was acting up but we weren't allowed to get up from our seats until the fucking seat belt light went off, and for some fucked up reason that stayed on much longer than usual. As soon as that light went off, I unbuckled my seat belt and I think the guy next to me knew what was up, as he asked if I wanted to get out. I said yes and bum rushed to the toilet.

I did my business there and returned to my seat. Not long after my stomach began hurting again. I waited (unbelievable) until they served food and although I was looking forward to it, I couldn't eat much as I didn't have the appetite. After they collected our plates I went to the toilet again and then forced myself to sleep so I wouldn't experience the pain.

I managed to sleep/toss and turn for about 4-5 hours, and woke up feeling a lot better without the stomach pain. Hell, I even finish the breakfast (apart from the yogurt which I didn't think I should eat after the congee).

When I opened the window and saw Sydney, I was glad to be back. Home.

Sick - Day 7

I woke up feeling ill. I knew I had to meet my mom's friend's family for yum cha, and I wondered if it was just a feeling of not wanting to go. I thought about cancelling, but thought I could struggle through it.

As I laid in bed, the thought of cancelling became more and more appealing. I was soon convinced I was sick, and I called up the friend's son to cancel. After I had done it, I stayed in bed. I started falling asleep and woke up soon after with the urge to throw up. I quickly jumped up from the bed and rushed to the basin and threw up. I can't remember the last time I threw up, but this felt pretty bad. Yet it felt good also when I had finished.

The thing was, the way the basin was designed, only liquid could drain through, so I had to spend a considerable amount of time picking up my vomit pieces into a cup and flushing it down the toilet. But I didn't care, it had to be done, and at least this confirmed I was sick and not just wanting to be anti-social.

After cleaning up the basic I went back to bed, and was woken up by my mom's friend calling me. She said she wanted to meet me to give me something, so we agreed to meet at noon. I struggled to get ready and managed to drag myself out there. She gave me some things to take back for my mom. I think she could tell I was genuinely sick, so at least she knew I wasn't lying.

I returned to the hotel and slept some more before getting up to get ready for dinner with my grandmother and relatives. I struggled through the whole trip there, and when I got there I had to tell my uncle that I couldn't eat much as I had thrown up earlier in the day.

I sat next to my grandmother and "Ah Keung", who had apparently been unemployed in the last four years due to health issues. Poor guy. I recognised some of the faces from my previous visit, but had no idea how they related to me.

The message about my mother was the same as last time, albeit a bit turned down: she was a money waster, never earned any money and only knew how to spend it. She was lucky to have my dad, who put up with her and looked after her her entire life. They said I was similar to my dad in terms of personality and temperament. I kept thinking about how I shameful it was to have gambled for so long and with so much.

I was glad when the dinner was over because I just needed rest. My grandmother was at an advanced age, and I wondered if that would be the last time I saw her.

I went back to my hotel, rested a bit before deciding that I needed to make the most of my HK trip. I went out for a punt and ended up at a place called K-Pressure. They were clever to put you in a dark room so you couldn't really make out the real age of the girls. I picked one just to get things done with, her name was Lilly and she was probably about late 30's or even early 40's. She seemed nice enough, but after the deed I couldn't wait to get out of there and I returned to my hotel to sleep.

Sleep paralysis

Last night, or today rather, at about 3am, I woke up due to the humidity and a fucking mosquito buzzing around my ear. I bummed around on the computer until about 4am and then went back to sleep.

Then the most terrifying thing happened. I must've fallen asleep, but woke up soon after. I felt like I had my eyes half opened and saw/sensed a dark charcoal coloured wooden head above me, looking down at me. It was swaying back and forth above me, making some noise and it felt like it was sucking air out of me slowly.

I wanted to move but felt like there were two heavy hands on my chest holding me down. It felt like I could move my legs but I didn't. I knew I had to get the fuck out of it, so I struggled and exerted a lot of effort to break free. I sat up then everything went away.

I moved out to the lounge room to 'sleep' the rest of the night but didn't really get any at all. I tried to pull Fat Fat closer to me to keep me company as she was asleep on a chair but she left the chair and just started cleaning herself on the floor. Grr.

Cathy - Day 6

Yesterday I started the day late because I wanted some 鶏蛋仔 at that famous place. I actually went there at about 8 am but they said it only begins at 11am. So I went back to the hotel and rested a bit before heading back out. When I got there again, there was a short line so I lined up. Maybe it was because I was hungry, but it was better than I expected.

I then walked around a bit before remembering that I needed to check out the place where my dad's old restaurant used to be. I went in to take some photos and thought they'd probably think it was a little too weird, so I ended up sitting down for yum cha.

I ordered a bit too much food but managed to finish most of it. I tried to remember being here but nothing looked familiar. I just remembered it was a lot darker than it actually was.

After that I headed out to Wong Dai Sin temple. I didn't want to burn any incense or pray but after walking around and taking some photos I figured I should. So I took the opportunity to pray with the 'chim', grabbing a tube and finding a spot to kneel down. I thought it would take ages for one to fall out, or that I'd do it in such a way that everything would fall out, but miraculously one fell out not long after I started. I thought about the odds of getting a good stick/bad stick depending on how many were in there, then realised that was the gambling me thinking.

I got stick 83 and then went to a fortune teller. I was led to one rather young looking guy. Most of what he said I couldn't understand, because he was speaking too fast and using too complicated language. I only figured out he was saying my career would be up and down. He also said my love life wasn't very smooth, and asked me what year of birth I was then had me hold up the piece of paper and pray by repeating whatever he said.

He then on-sold me to the old lady sitting in front of him for palm reading. She said $500 at first but I said that was too expensive, then she reduced it to $380. I also couldn't understand much of what she said for the same reasons, but when she asked me what I did and I told her, she said I shouldn't open up my own firm. She also said there were a lot of petty people around me. She said the shopping types of girls don't suit me, and that I should go for a sensible one. She also said that money shouldn't be a problem for me, I will always have money coming in but won't be rich or poor.

After that I left and went back to TST. I went to the G2000 and bought the jacket I had my eyes on for the last few days for $800HKD. I returned to my hotel and rested a bit before going out to meet Cathy.

I met her at Mongkok station. I was a bit nervous, not sure why. I wasn't sure if I could recognise her, even though from recent facebook photos I had seen I knew she had cut her hair short. I waited a bit and then she found me at one of the exits. We spoke in Cantonese, and said it had been a long time. Almost immediately she began walking close to me and leaning in, like she did when she came to Sydney about five years ago. She mentioned she had cut her hair short and I said "not as short as mine". She said this annoyed her mother because she hadn't found a boyfriend yet. I said if a person's face was beautiful then the hair didn't really matter, and she said I should tell her mother that.

She used her phone to try to locate the restaurant she wanted to take me to, which led us through the streets of Mongkok. When we eventually found it, the restaurant was full and they said it was a 90 minute wait, so we went elsewhere. I was happy to eat anything, but because I had said I wanted to eat Cantonese food, she was straining her brain to think of a place. In the end we went back to a restaurant in TST which was rather close to my hotel.

It turned out to be a bit of a fancy place, and I wondered if people would think it was a date. Although she had cut her hair, I still thought she was attractive. The good thing was we sat next to each other, instead of opposite each other at the table. I gave her the gifts I had brought, and she thanked me and said she didn't have anything for me, but that was alright. At times I went kinda quiet, not really knowing what to say.

She brought up the 'ring' message she sent me on facebook before I left Australia. She said my mom told Uncle Ho that she had a diamond ring for his daughter, hence Uncle Ho thought I would be bringing it. I said my mom didn't tell me anything about a diamond ring. She said she did think my response was strange as I didn't seem to know anything about it. What was going on?

The food was ok, a bit too much as we didn't finish it. After we finished we went for dessert. I asked her if she ever bumped into any celebrities in HK and she said we had actually sat near one in the restaurant, who was a famous director in comedies.

We went to a dessert place and lined up for a bit before getting a seat. My dessert was ok, and I found out that she can't eat cold things, hence why she wanted a hot dessert. After dessert she said she wanted to walk me to my hotel, even though I wanted to walk her to the MTR station.

When we got to my hotel, she said she wanted to come up to check out the room. 

Ok, don't get any ideas. She's your cousin. Don't. Don't. Don't.

So we went up and into my room. She used the bathroom and I wondered if that was actually what she really wanted. We checked out the view for a bit, and I sat down on the bed as there was really nowhere else to sit or stand (it was that small). When I asked her which MTR station was closer, she kneeled down in front of me where the pen and pad were and started drawing out a map to show me. As she was explaining it, she got wrong the side that the egg tart place thing was on, so I corrected her, and she thought I was teasing her and she slapped me on the knee playfully.

After that nothing much happened. She left and we said our goodbyes like we wouldn't see each other for a long time. I changed and had some chips and water as I used my laptop.

Day with family and relatives - Day 5

Started yesterday with breakfast in a Chinese style cafe. I was waiting for a call from my mother's sister but figured I could get something to eat whilst waiting. Even after finishing breakfast she still didn't call, so I called at 9:30am and it seemed like she had been waiting for my call.

So I quickly grabbed my stuff from the hotel and headed out. My grandma was already waiting at my sister's place so I think she was eager.

When I got to the restaurant, I couldn't recognise anyone. I then saw a man waving at me. He turned out to be the sister's husband. The sister and my grandma were there. Although my grandma looked healthy, almost immediately they told me that she had been in hospital recently with some form of serious constipation/diarrhea and they all thought she wouldn't make it, even herself. They said the doctor had told them that she was too old for surgery. It really made me reflect on things.

The other main thing they talked about was how wrong my mother was, and how she only ever cared about money. Apparently she calls them and asks how much money my grandma has saved up and saying something about her dying and leaving the money. They also said how good my dad was, which made me cry inside. They also told me to look after myself and not always do as my mum wants because she is wrong and doesn't know better.

We arranged to have dinner with the rest of the relatives on the 4th, and then I went to the husband's house for a short visit before leaving.

I didn't have a new year's resolution, but now I think it will be to look out for myself more and to not get caught up in what my mom wants me to do. I think if I was a more selfish person, I wouldn't have given Jin any money. I wouldn't have gambled. I wouldn't go whoring. I have also noticed that I have bought way more presents for other people than for myself so far.

It made me think about how all my problems may have stemmed from the way my mother raised me. Or am I just playing the blame game?

After that I took a walk around Mongkok and the 'sneakers town'. Didn't really see any shoes I particularly wanted.

At 7pm I went to a restaurant nearby to meet with my mom's friend and her family. I thought this was a perfect example of doing what my mom wants. It was her friend. I didn't know her. Why should I be spending awkward time here with her?

Anyway, the dinner didn't go too bad. I could talk to and relate with the son and his wife. I felt a bit bad not fighting for the bill, but seriously, I am one person and they are four, they don't expect me to pay for the dinner do they?

Also, they asked me about my plans for the rest of the trip and I was a bit too honest saying I didn't really have any, which opened up for them to suggest yum cha on the 4th. Grrr.

After that I went back to the hotel and wanted to check out Temple Street. I invited the others in the group to come, and some said they would. I met Anir at the train station and we went to Jordan together to wait for Mun and Michelle. We waited for like half an hour, which reminded me why I don't like to do things with people as it always causes delays like this.

Anyway, we checked out Temple Street, and finally at the end I saw what I had been looking for - fortune tellers. I went with one lady but felt she wasn't as good as the guy I saw seven years ago. I felt a lot of bullshit at first when she said stuff like "you are a good person", "you will be rich", "you have a good heart" and "if you are nice to people, they will be nice to you". However, she did seem to nail a few points:

- stop being so stubborn and petty, and to learn to let some things slide sometimes
- do not go to Macau to gamble.

Look, the last point could apply to any tourist in HK, so keep that in mind. However, it was a bit freaky as I had actually been considering it the last few days. I also wondered if that was a more general comment like "don't gamble". How did she know I gambled?

After that we went to Causeway Bay for dinner as Mun wanted chilli crab. We had a nice time, but just didn't like the fact that we finished at like 2:30am as I wanted an early night, or at least finish by midnight.