Kainan: Semi-finals

Woke up this morning and had breakfast as I downloaded Game 1 of the Bulls-Sixers series. I left home a bit later than I had wanted - at about 10:30am, getting to the courts at 11:30am and catching the second half of the Troopers vs Crewsaders game.

Bo, Mike and Alex were already there. I talked to Bo as we watched the game. I wasn't expecting it, but he was annoying. He said "hey I have a bit of a cold so I'm going to leave straight after the game". I was like "ok", and he repeated it and said "get it?" and I'm thinking, that's not even fucking funny.

Crewsaders won the game relatively easily, despite a bit of a run by the other team at the beginning of the second half. After that we hung around to watch Carter's Div 3 game, and I was postulating as to where I should put my camera to capture our game.

Towards the end of that game, I had Nick help me put the camera up on a pole, which seemed to capture the whole court lengthwise.

I must admit I was a bit nervous in a playoff game. I don't know, the atmosphere just seems different. Despite that, we wandered onto the court all the same when it was tip off time. We actually had six on the court and I had to yell out too many and so Jim got off, lol.

We got off to a bit of a slow start and it was a close game in the first half. We switched to 1-3-1 after a time out by the other team. On one of the defensive plays, Carter apparently accidentally slapped a guy in the face and the guy went to shove him. I was like "wtf? no call?" when the referee blew his whistle. The other guy stepped towards Carter and I quickly got in the middle of it. I heard another guy yell at Carter "stop looking at him" which I thought was pretty fucking ridiculous. The referee ended up chucking the guy out, so that made it a bit easier for us.

I couldn't really feel my shot, but was content to play defense. In the second half, we grabbed a lot of offensive rebounds to start with but couldn't put it in. After a while, we started scoring more, and went on a bit of a scoring run, pulling ahead by about 8-10 points. Then I got one interception where I ran down the court and was fouled on a lay up - I hit one of the free throws. On the very next play, I almost did an identical interception, running down the court for a wide open lay up. That felt like it was the turning point right there, to have two turnovers I think really deflated them (Nick said the same thing after the game).

From thereon it was pretty much smooth sailing. Bo got a fastbreak at one point and the guy from the other team was behind him but didn't even bother chasing him. Bo later said he felt insulted, lol. I actually can't believe they just gave up like that, especially in a playoff game. Wow.

Nick and I sat on the bench to end the game, and we laughed and joked as the game wound down. I really savoured the feeling right there and then.

At the end of the game, Bo started to run another fastbreak after grabbing a rebound. Both Nick and I were yelling "pass it! Pass it!" but he didn't, and lost the ball in the backcourt, leading to a lay up by the other team. Fuck.

After the game, Nick got my camera down for me, and then we hung around outside the car park talking for a bit, but Nick had to go. Bo, Jim, Mike, his friend and I then went to Flemington to eat. I was kinda disappointed, because I was hoping for a team meal, but Nick had to go, Alex left, and Bo apparently had to go to someone's farewell.

I caught the train back to the city and watched the game on my camera. Still kinda hard to believe we're now in the finals. The only issue is, do we allow Bert to play and risk being found out and disqualified?

Zoe

Yesterday morning I drove to the Coles at the Wick to get some Gatorade, and then went for a drive to the water side just because I enjoyed the drive and music so much. After I got home, I went off to the courts in my brand new shoes. Maybe it's just my imagination, but they did feel like they had a bit more 'bounce' with each step. I had to avoid walking on the grass though, because, for now anyway, I didn't want to get all grass inside the shoes.

I wanted to work on my threes, so decided to make myself hit 30 from around the top. I had to be careful not to tire myself out for the next day, yet I had to do enough to feel confident enough to take them, so it was a fine balance. After about 10 I really felt like I had it down pat, and it felt so good each time I hit one.

I left after I made my 30, went home, had a shower, then walked out to the office. I went in to print some stuff out for my dad and do a bit of banking. Then I went to the camera shop to look for a tripod, and ended up getting this really cool one which you can wrap around objects and focus the camera at weird angles. I also got a new SD card to ensure I could record the game for as long as I could.

I then walked to the Bond gym where I did my weightless workout again. I thought about walking home but my legs were too damn tired, so I just caught a bus. When I got home, I was so tired I took a nap, and woke up to a call from Ele at about 4:30pm. I was supposed to meet them for dinner at 7pm which meant I could leave at 6pm and wake up about 5:30pm, but she asked if I wanted to meet earlier to chat and I said yes. We agreed I'd pick her up from the city.

When I drove out there, I saw her at the corner in front of the bank. I needed to park to get my glasses from my office, so I waved at her and drove past looking for a space. In hindsight, I think I should've stopped to let her on first, lol. Anyway, she caught up and got in my car and offered me some rice cracker thingys. We drove around the corner and parked and I took her up to my office. She was very impressed that we had our own rooms. I guess I've gotten used to it now, but when you step back and look at it, it is quite impressive.

Anyway, we left and got back into my car where we drove to Stratty. During the drive, I asked her who was going to the dinner. She said her, Yang (who was at fishing with his dad) Bill, his girlfriend Jennifer and his group of friends. I already had an inkling this may have been to set me up, but I was interested to see how it would unfold.

Out of curiosity, I asked her whether she thought she was an introvert or an extrovert. After clarifying which was which, she said she was 50/50. Upon further clarification, she said she was 70% extrovert and 30% introvert.

We talked about my job interview and her friend who makes judgment of people upon meeting them once in dating. She said she thought you needed to meet people more than once. I wonder who she was talking about.

We got there a bit early, around 6:30pm, so she went to the Korean grocery store to get a drink, then I went to the ATM and we sat around the tree area near the station talking. I swear, I just had Korean food the night before, and now I was surrounded by Koreans. This obviously wasn't helping me take my mind off Naby.

We talked about careers and that before Bill and Jennifer arrived. Ele and Jennifer talked, and Bill and I talked about him changing jobs, and him renting out his proerty. Later Jennifer's friend Zoe arrived. She seemed a bit shy/quiet, and I always needed to remind myself that she was probably amongst a group of strangers with the exception of Jennifer.

We talked a bit more waiting for Yang when we finally decided that some of us would go to the restaurant first. I don't know why, but those 'some' people were me, Jennifer and Zoe. This was the first time I got to properly talk with Jennifer. She was more attractive than I thought, and friendlier than I thought. Damnit, how the hell did Bill get someone like that?

Anyway, as we walked to the traffic light I got a tap on the shoulder.

Who could it be? Who out here would know me?


It was Yang, lol. We called Ele and got them to come over. They talked briefly about his fishing expedition earlier on and then we went to the restaurant together. We ended up going to this restaurant which I have been to before...I think it was with Jim/Bo...a very long time ago.

I went to the bathroom first and when I came back, my seat was next to Yang and opposite Zoe. We started looking at the menu. Bloody Yang was like "why are you so quiet?" and I was like "because I'm looking at the menu". I realised moments later he was teasing me, and he asked me if I knew why we were here. I said to celebrate him catching fish, he laughed and asked again and I said yes.

Anyway, I felt like it was all eyes on me. Everytime I spoke with Zoe it was like everyone just stopped talking and watched. Fucking hell. Other than that, there were some good funny group conversations though. Like when I told them that a colleague (ala Alanna) told me that whenever she bought stuff, her partner would say "did you buy something again?" and she'd be like "oh it was only $30". Then out of the blue Ele told Yang that the things she buys are really $30, and we all broke out laughing because it was so obvious, haha.

Anyway, a bit about Zoe - she is an accountant at a Japanese firm in D.Y. She went to USyd and lives by herself in the suburb next to my bball comp. Other than that, I am not really sure what I learnt about her. She seemed kinda quiet, and never really reciprocated my questions, even though on the inside I was kinda eager to talk about myself a bit. I think it was due more to shyness than disinterest, as I did catch her looking at me a few times.

I also saw Jennifer looking at me, but I think it was more her way of gauging whether I was interested in Zoe or not. Perhaps ironically, as the night went on, I felt more and more attraction towards Jennifer. I wondered to myself whether this was just because she was taken. If that was the reason, then I am seriously screwed up in the head.

After dinner, we went to have yoghurt from this new shop that was apparently very popular. They weren't lying - there was a line outside and it was like 9pm. As we lined up, Bill and Ele went to get a table, and Yang went away to talk on his phone. I was left with Zoe and Jennifer. Jennifer spoke to me the most, and she had this really great laugh. She wasn't as stand-offish as I thought she was during the fishing trip. All I could think of was "damn, damn, damn".

I noticed there was a girl in front of us, presumably Korean. I told myself she looked like Naby without make up. Goddamnit.

Anyway, we had the yoghurt, which was pretty good. I liked the business style, and wondered if we'd be seeing more in the city sometime soon. I could tell Yang was tired from his fishing trip, and silently thanked him for putting up with all this. Ele made most of the conversation, talking about her work with Bill. She bumped into a friend and introduced Bill, then the rest of us as her "other friends" which we teased her about afterwards, lol.

After that, we parted. Jennifer and Bill walked home (damn again) and the three of us walked to the plaza car park. We parted at the ticket machine as I needed to buy a ticket, and I drove home listening to my music.

Dinner with Cameron, Chris and Nunjo

On Friday I walked to work extra early to get there at about 7:30am because I had a matter out at Parra. Steve was there already, I had a bit of a chat with him. I think he must've thought I was boring/rude when conversation just trailed off because I said stuff like "oh" and "ok...", but I was actually just trying to figure out what made him tick - how come he never gets himself into the midst of gossip or controversy? Damn I wish I could be like that.

Anyway, I left for Parra at about 8:30am and caught the train out. When I got into the courtroom, after fiddling with my suitcase I looked up and saw Bush looking back at me and smiling. I looked at her and also saw Shady near her. I went up to them to have a talk, and Daniel P also came to me afterwards for a chat. He looked a bit older with a beard, but I still didn't really respect him as a barista because I thought he went to the bar too early.

After that I fiddled with my suitcase a bit more and thought I heard someone say my name, but didn't look up. Then I got a tap on the shoulder and it was Sarah! She was in her barista clothes and I thought she looked pretty hot in them.

I stood around waiting and watching the other matters, and the lady on the other side told me she had to see clients, including mine, downstairs so she stood my matter down. I talked to Daniel a bit after, then moved to sit behind Sarah. I just asked her what she had on and she told me, and although her body language showed she was open to continuing the conversation (half turned to me), I didn't know what to say. I could only ask her later on if some guy on his feet was someone's son, and she said "yes, big shoes to fill...or small shoes to fill" and smiled. Damn, she's funny as well.

She left after her matter, and at 11:30 we broke for morning tea and I went with Bush and Shady across the road for a coffee. I shouted because I hadn't seen them for so long and we had a chat sitting outside, talking about their work. Apparently Bush is going on mat leave in mid-May. I thought it odd that Kylie wasn't around but they just said she was in the office.

We went back to court at noon and watched another matter go until 1pm. Bush and Shady had said earlier that  they were going to a farewell lunch for Andrew D (guy from basketball, J's friend) and invited me to go. I didn't really give an answer because I figured I'd be out of Parra by lunch, but now, I wasn't sure what to do. I kinda wanted to have lunch by myself but also felt a bit lonely. Seeing Shady outside the building, he again invited me along. I said I felt bad because it was like I was crashing it, and he said it was ok, so I went along.

So we went to this pizza restaurant where there was a long table of employees from their office. I spoke to Andrew a bit about bball and work. Bush had said they didn't renew his contract because he was immature. Andrew said he hadn't found anything yet, and out of courtesy, I said my office would probably start hiring later in the year.

I was a bit disappointed no one introduced me to anyone else on the table, so I just kept with Bush and Shady. The other annoying thing was we had to wait ages for our food to arrive, and by the time it did come, we only had 15 minutes before we had to go back to court. We ended up returning a bit late, and I felt like we were school kids getting back to class late - only now it'd be pretty serious if we were caught.

Turns out that when I got back, the other side had mentioned my matter and we ended up getting flicked to another courtroom. She said she was ready to proceed, but because it was only listed for mention, she wanted to get the others done first. I thought maybe she just didn't want to do it. I kinda wanted to finish this off and close the file now that he has changed it to a sev appeal, but I told the judge I was in his hands. He was like "no no, I'm in your hands". So it ended up getting adj.

I met up with Bush again and we had the rest of our pizza near where we had coffee. I told her about my promotion and all that, and she told me she had had an argument with Kylie.

I knew it.


She said it was about work and Kylie seemingly shoving work back onto Bush, so Bush went off at her and she cried. She said although they are ok now, she still feels there is something there that keeps a bit of distance between them. I felt the same with Bo and Shuing.

Anyway, after that I headed back to the office. I felt like the day had been a total waste, and I also felt guilty for having caught up with friends. But then I thought, the matter really was delayed until 2pm through no fault of my own, and Mary probably would've done the same if she was in my position (probably longer).

Christina had sent me a message about her trial - not guilty for all three. Wow. So my doubt was reasonable.

When I got off the train, I was heading towards the gate where I could walk through without a ticket and was looking for my ticket. Someone called out my name and I looked up and it was Maria. We talked a bit, asking how eachother was in our branches. I wondered if she had any inkling of attraction for me at all. Hmmm. At least calling out to me and stopping and talking was a positive sign.

When I got back to the office I told Mary about my day, and she said she knew I had seen Sarah because she had lunch with Sarah. Then I went to tell Clare about my day, and then when I was back in my room, Nunjo asked me if I was ready to go (Chris had invited me to drinks and dinner with Cameron), so I didn't even have time to check my emails. I went to the bathroom quickly and left with Nunjo and Clare to go to the Civic next door.

We went upstairs and they started heading upstairs, but Chris called out to me and I saw her sitting with Cameron near the wall. We went over and I noticed Cameron was dressed quite smartly in a casual suit without a tie, and was a bit unshaven which made him look more manly.

I went to the bar with Clare and bought her a drink and got a lemonade for myself, then we went to sit down. I sat next to Clare and opposite Nunjo at first, but when Nunjo asked me how my day was (earlier I had said I'd tell her later) I moved across next to her and started telling her.

I don't know how, but I ended up sitting in between Chris and Nunjo and opposite Clare and Cameron. I thought this was perfect because I could listen in to everything, it was easy for me to get the attention of others, and I was sitting next to Nunjo.

Although it was supposed to be about catching up with Cameron, we talked more about other people in the office and Chris being moved to P1 (so we both saw it coming, but didn't know it'd be this soon). I caught Cameron looking over at Nunjo from time to time...hmmm. I know that look. But I'm not too worried, I don't think she is interested in him.

Chris was telling us about she had a meeting with Ellen (boss of P1) and how pedantic and organised she was. I think we will all be waiting to see how Chris copes there, given she has previously been warned by OH&S about the state of her office.

We also talked about Cameron and Moira. Cameron played the "we're just good friends" card, but I call BS on that. I did, however, think Moira just liked the attention, and not necessarily him.

Clare went to get another drink and offered to get me a lemonade as well. How nice. When she was at the bar, Chris said she thought Clare was really beautiful. I was like "tell her" and she said she would when she returned. When Clare came back I said "Chris thinks you're beautiful" lol. I absolutely admired her, but too bad she will be engaged soon (or so we all think, and here's hoping that the guy drops the ball).

We talked about tattoos and I said I thought about getting "King Kong" for my 30th birthday, and both Chris and Nunjo dismissed it as silly. Nunjo revealed she had a rose tattoo. I asked her where it was and she pointed to her left pelvis.

There was talk of dinner and Clare said she would be going home. Someone, I think it was either Chris or Cameron, but more probably Chris, added "it'll be like a double date". I didn't think much of it at that stage because Chris was married so it was obviously a joke.

When we were talking about Ellen, I told them how she looked at me like I was a criminal after I shaved my head. Nunjo asked about my hair and how Clare knew what I looked like, and Clare said from my pass (even though she had definitely seen me with hair before). Chris didn't know either even though when I joined this branch I had hair. She said she couldn't remember.

Anyway, someone asked me to show my pass so I took it out and showed Chris and then Nunjo, who seemed to study it and then gave it back. I put it back in my pocket and she said I didn't show Cameron, so I showed it to him as well. Chris asked if I shaved it because I was losing hair and I said yes. She asked Cameron when he started losing his hair and he said 23.

After a bit more talk, we left for dinner. There was a function there booked by Mac Bank, and I swear, all these guys were sooo arrogant and cocky, just by the way they dressed, acted and talked. They were so sleazy as well. One guy, as Clare was walking past him, just said "hey I like your glasses", and Clare just ignored him and walked by, and then asked me if he was talking to her, lol. Ah Clare, so innocent.

We stood around downstairs for a bit. Although Clare said she was going home, I urged her a bit to come along, mainly so it would be more of a 'group' thing than anything else. But I also liked her company and she was also pleasant on the eye.

She declined, saying her boyfriend was sick so she had to go home. We waved goodbye to her and then we decided to go to the restaurant I told Nunjo about with the wasabi roulette. So we started heading there and I walked with Cameron and talked to him about his work, trying to determine if I should go there. The one downside seems to be that they sit in an open plan area. I think I'm used to the option of privacy with my own room.

When we got to the restaurant, I could tell Chris didn't really want to go, because she was like "so where is this noodles down a slide?" I looked at the menu and couldn't see it, and so I went to ask. I was told they changed their menus, and then Chris suggested we leave. On top of that, Nunjo said the bathroom was dirty, so that was the end of that. I felt bad walking out, but hey, at least it avoided the girls having a bad night.

We went to a Korean bbq restaurant on the opposite side. Nunjo seemed interested in the hot pot place I had told her about earlier. Anyway, we went in and were shown to a private room - wow. We ordered a set menu and Chris explained how everything worked in Korean culture.

I sat next to Cameron and opposite Nunjo. We talked about their trip to Korea and how Chris wanted to go to a public spa but Nunjo didn't want Chris seeing her naked. Then Chris told us about how in their culture they all share beds and Nunjo wasn't used to it, and in the morning Nunjo was showering and Chris woke up wanting to go to the bathroom and promised she'd close her eyes, but when she said the frosting on the screen was strong, I asked "so you did open your eyes?" and they both laughed because it became obvious Chris took a look.

Nunjo and I got talking about having kids. I was like, when you get old, you want to look back at your own flesh and blood, and be able to leave something behind. She said she'd gone through this thought process many times, but when she was young, she had to look after all her younger brothers and she didn't want to go through that again.

Also found out she had dated a 'bogan' as she put it in Darwin, and also a man with a son. Chris said she had a lot of "suitors".

The other thing that aroused my interest was when Chris said "my ex-husband". At first I thought she may have been married previously. She talked about how he expected her to cook and clean even though she was working. But later on, it dawned on me that maybe she was talking about her current marriage. Why? Because when we were walking back, she said she was looking for a place to rent, she said something about selling the house and how she never wanted to be tied down to a mortgage again.

Chris grilled Cameron about his relationship history as she did with me. Found out that he hadn't had sex with his ex-girlfriend (who he still lives with) for three years before they broke up. Chris then brought me up again and suggested that I may be a virgin as I always kept quiet during these talks.

Anyway, we paid the bill and headed off. Camerona ended up paying a few dollars more and he said it was ok. The girls said he earned more than all of us anyway, and Chris said I earned the least. Nunjo caught a taxi home. Back at the bar, a waitress had spilled a drink on her and she said her shoe was soaked. I offered her Fiona's shoes which she had left in my office, and now that I was going back to the office to change, I again offered it to her but she said no and left to get the taxi.

As the three of us walked back to the main street, Cameron noted how a restaurant was started in 1973, the year he was born. Chris said "you know, Nunjo was born in 75".

Noooooo! What are you doing?


Cameron laughed but I knew he considered it. Still, I wasn't worried.

I went back to the office to change, and then caught a bus home.

Looking back, I wonder if my talk with Nunjo about children constituted an 'argument'?

- both like singing in cars
- putting CD into work car
- wearing black

Nightmarish day

I had a dream last night. Actually, two dreams.

I don't know which came first. One of them, I was with Nunjo in a motel room. We were on a work trip. I was on top of her on a bed, licking her nipples. We didn't get to finish, and agreed to meet at another motel room when we got back to the city.

The other dream, I had a trial which I didn't tell anyone about - my office, the witnesses, no one. For some reason, it had been stood down from 10 to 2 on the first day. There were three other parties. One of them asked me for all the notices I filed, and I said I'd get it to them - even though I knew I didn't have them because for some reason I had completely forgotten about this matter.

In court, I lied and told the judge I couldn't find my barista. The judge leaned forward and said in his 'a matter of fact' tone, "well you can start tomorrow then". I sat there, wondering what the hell I had just done. What the hell was I going to do? How could I ever recover from this? I know people make mistakes at work, but this is unfucking believable! I think I'm going to have to kill myself. Even if I did, I don't think people would forgive me.

And it was pretty much with that shitty feeling that I woke up with in the back of my mind.

I left home at about 6:30am, drove to Macca's to get some breakfast, and then headed off. About halfway through the trip, I questioned whether I had forgotten the suitcase. Of course not, you saw it when you opened the boot in the morning, and you never took it out of the car. Sometimes you really like to scare yourself.

I got there at 9am and rested my eyes a bit before walking to court. Because I had done this list just last month, I went there with a bit of unusual confidence that everything would be ok. But when the mag came in, I was surprised to see that it wasn't the usual Crews.

Hmmm.

I only had eight matters, but I feared that this mag didn't know our laws very well. One of the first matters, he imposed a fine. I wondered if there needed to be anything else, but didn't speak up. After the matter had been dealt with, I had convinced myself that there did need to be something else, and that I had fucked up. I hated that feeling, and I sat with it for the rest of the matters.

It got so bad, that when another sentence was imposed, I stood up to say something. This time I said what I thought I should've said in that first matter. But then I thought about it and realised I was wrong! Fuck. That is so me - don't speak up when I need to, and speak up when I don't need to. Everyone probably thinks I'm an idiot. The mag probably wondered why the hell I said that. I was now thinking of ways to explain these results once back at the office.

I finished all my matters by about 12:30pm and left. I got a hotdog and shake and ate it at the car, then drove back to the city. Although I enjoyed the music I had brought with me, I couldn't stop feeling like the most useless person on this planet.

I wondered why today had unfolded the way it did. Was it because of my dream? Or have I been working too hard and am now burnt out? Or did having a public holiday on a Wednesday take me out of rhythm? I was thinking it was the latter - the two day weekend just didn't feel right. It felt too cruisy. I need to be constantly pushed, otherwise I get complacent. Some people are like that. Like RM back in that Parra trial.

I was hoping Nunjo would be downstairs having a cigarette break when I drove into the office, but she wasn't. I did, however, see one of those kinda cute girls who worked at the supermarket walking (presumably) to work.

I went into the office, and when Clare and Mary asked me how the list went, all I could say was "ok..." not wanting to disclose my errors. But when I sat down to check, I don't think I made any errors. Hmmm.

I had brought back some cashews for everyone, and offered them to Clare and Mary. Moira was talking to the cleaner, and Nunjo was talking to Caroline. Later when I was in my room, Nunjo came to ask me how my list was. I don't know if she was more open to approaching me now that I had 'made clear' we were friends, or if she was trying to re-ignite something because I had shown my disinterest.

I told her about the trial dream, but obviously not the other. She said Moira also had anxiety dreams, so later I went to talk to her about it. I thought it was funny, because both of us didn't show anxiety on the surface, so maybe we both keep it in. I think maybe I just need a break.

I stayed back a bit to tidy up some work. I had been paid (yesterday actually, due to the public holiday for some reason). Although I had transferred most of my money into my other accounts, I still had about $300 at my disposal. I thought about whoring, and going to Naby's shop in particular. But I resisted. I kinda like how I know for certain that I'm STD-free, so I don't want to muck that up.

I also thought about gambling. My devil was telling me I could play my sector, win a small amount easily, and leave. But I saw Nunjo walk out with Sue, and for some reason I pictured them going to the casino together. I wouldn't want them seeing me.

I didn't want to go to the gym because my arms are tired and I think I need to rest them.

In the end, I got changed and caught a bus home.

To my surprise, there was a delivery notice on my desk showing that my shoes had arrived. I thought it would tell me to pick it up from the post office, but it said it had a failed delivery because no one was home, so they left it at the 7-11! Wow, didn't know they did that. So I went there and picked it up.

AWEEEESOME!!!

Venting with Jim

Yesterday at work was a bit of a bludge again. It's not that I don't have work to do, but recently I've just been feeling a bit restless. I guess the other thing is I have nothing urgent on. But I really should be making the most of times like this because you never know what pops up.

Sometime in the morning, I saw Bruce pushing around the bins on our floor. I said good morning to him, and he said "morning mate". I had walked past him, and he called out my name, and said he only calls those "mate" when he doesn't remember their name. I said I do the same, and then Nunjo walked past and said good morning to me. I waved to her and said "morning mate" and gave Bruce a "see?" look. Don't think either of them appreciated that, haha.

For lunch, I decided to give gravy a go with my chicken. The girls at the pie shop looked at me like I was weird for buying only gravy, but eh. Oh my god it was soooo nice! But I can't have that everyday, or even once a week, because it was just so fatty. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

In the afternoon, I was talking to Clare and Mary in the hallway about my gravy. Nunjo walked past with a plate of apples and offered it to us. I took one slice. When I went back to my desk later, I sent her a message "I don't think I've ever seen you eat fruit". She said "yes you have!" and I said it was good, and she said she had two more for the week. I thought about saying something like how they were better than cigarettes, but didn't think she'd like it, so just said "good stuff!" which ended the conversation.

Late in the day I texted Jim to see if he wanted to meet for a drink, and he said yes. I felt like I needed to get this Bo thing off my chest. I met him at Macca's after work and we ended up going for dinner as he said he hadn't eaten yet. I said I'd get something small as I had to go to the gym after.

We went to a Korean restaurant near my work where you have to go below street level. I was on the lookout for Naby - I looked everywhere. Every single Korean girl was a prostitute in my eyes. This was not a conducive environment for me.

He said I never replied to his message when he asked who annoyed me, and that got the ball rolling. I told him all my issues with Bo, which were, summarised as follows:

- his message on fb telling everyone it was going to be an easy game, which undermined my message
- him on the train starting that Jeremy Lin shit with me
- him subbing on for Jim on Wednesday night two weeks ago and trying to play guard
- him saying he was a better ball handler than big Alex
- him being assigned as captain of the Wednesday team and then not being able to work out the money aspect, and then not even thanking me for sorting that out
- him telling me what to do, yet won't accept any criticisms from us

Jim said he didn't know this all annoyed me to the extent where I was considering not playing next season. He said it was just one person, and I said he didn't have to catch the train with him. He told me I could arrive earlier.

So that took up most of the dinner. I could've gone on, but held back as I didn't want to go too far. We started talking about the NBA towards the end. He paid for dinner which I thought was stupid, because I did have the pancake, but he said I could shout him coffee.

I didn't really feel like coffee but we went anyway. I bought him his drink and a hot chocolate for myself. We talked about my preliminary plans for a holiday next year to the US. I always thought he wasn't that interested, but when I said we probably won't get another chance to do it, he seemed a bit more interested.

Also found out that he has saved nearly enough to buy a house outright. Two caveats: what is 'almost', and where was he thinking of buying? Don't get me wrong, I was impressed, but when I talk about buying, I'm thinking of getting a $600,000 property in my suburb, whereas I think he was talking about a property in the west.

I wondered how he had managed to accumulate so much. On the one hand, I admired how he didn't seem to have any vices (gambling, whoring etc) but on the other hand, how could he have accumulated even, say, $200,000? Even if I had never gotten into gambling and whoring, I doubt I'd have nearly enough to buy a property out west.

I also found out that we had in common that when we started work, our goals were to get as much work experience as possible. But now, we've realised that we probably should've spent those years travelling the world.

He told me he took Bo to meet some of his female friends on Saturday, and they're going out again this Saturday. I wonder why he didn't ask me. Anyway, I probably wouldn't have gone anyway, as I like to have a quiet one before the semi-finals. Crap, just realised Ele may have organised a dinner for this Saturday.

Anyway, after that I went to the gym, and continued with my weight-less workout.

Today
Anzac Day today, so bummed around in the morning. Had pizza, took a nap, then woke up at 1pm and had more pizza, lol.

I felt so fat. I walked out to the office and was puffing a bit, but maybe that was due to the violently cool air.

Anyway, I got to the office and looked over my matters for tomorrow's Maitland list. After that I went to the gym and repeated my weight-less workout. I think I need a break to rest my arms. They feel tired for chin ups, and today on my last set of dips, they were so tired I was barely dipping at all.

I went back to the office, got changed then went to DJ's for a walk. They were having a 30% off sale, and I thought if they had 30% off the suit I wanted, then I'd get it, but turns out it's gone up in price! Fark.

I went back to the office and got the car to drive home.

Bo messaged me today asking if we should go up to Div 3. I said I'm thinking about it.

One factor in considering my retirement...

I woke up with my legs feeling very sore, just as expected. It was a struggle to take the first few steps. I thought there was going to be no way I'd walk to work, but I did. I saw her today, as we passed, she was looking down fiddling with her music player. Hmmm...never really seen her listening to music before.

When I got into the office, I saw Up in the Air was on my desk. After I got changed and made my breakfast, I went to talk to Clare about it. She said she liked it and found it sad too, especially how the end was "left open". I said it was good because sometimes reality is like that. We talked about it for a bit before I went to see if Mary wanted to borrow it. My real motive was to lend it to Nunjo, but I didn't want Mary to think I was skipping her. She said she'd seen it, but she didn't make a move to give it back, so I said she could watch it a second time.

I bumped into Nunjo as I was going into Mary's room later to ask a quesiton. She noticed I was wearing blue and said "you're branching out".

Work today was a bludge as well. When I was occupied preparing some instructions for tomorrow, I felt like "yes! I have a mission now!" but when I finished that, I felt aimless.

At noon I went to get some snacks and came back to the office to heat up my lunch. I saw Clare in the kitchen, and was actually unable to think of anything to say. I think...I am starting to like her in that way. Shit.

I had to eat quickly because Genie was coming round to pick me up to go to the lunchtime CLE. We got Clare as well, and Nunjo said she'd come after she finished her lunch. So the three of us went down together. Genie has this new 'resolution' to take the stairs. I thought "oh god" at the thought of my exhausted legs having to tackle the stairs, but didn't let on and just went with it. Yes, it hurt.

The CLE was good, done by GF who I had instructed in that copyright matter. I saw next to Genie who sat next to Clare. There was a spare seat to my right and I hoped that Nunjo would come in and fill it. As the session went on, I could hear some people coming in late, until an older lady sat down next to me. I thought Nunjo must've taken a seat at the back.

Fine then, bitch.

But when we went back up (via the bloody stairs) I saw she was in her room. I don't think she had gone to the CLE.

I started feeling depressed for no apparent reason in the afternoon. I guess I just felt...lonely. The whole Naby thing didn't help. I saw via Whatsapp that she was last online at 4:30am - I guess she's back at her job.

Clare and Nunjo were sitting in Mary's room and they talked for what seemed like an hour. I felt a bit excluded, and that contributed to my depressed feeling.

I just felt like getting out of there and going to the waters, so I left at 5pm. Still in my suit with my rare blue shirt and waistcoat combo today, I walked past Nunjo's room where Mary was talking to her. I said "bye guys" and heard Nunjo say "bye [insert name here]" in a way that seemed like she wanted to be heard on top of Mary's voice. Maybe I am just delusional.

I walked through Darling Harbour and went to sit in front of the water near the casino. I stared out into the buildings, wondering. Wondering about Naby. Wondering about money. It was kinda refreshing to be all alone like this. So peaceful. I thought about taking Ele here one day, but it might have too much of a romantic overtone.

I sat there until it got dark, and left at 6pm. I thought about going to the casino to watch, but didn't. I couldn't really gamble - I had $100 in my wallet and $100 in my bank. Well, maybe I could. But I didn't really want to.

I walked back to the office and got changed. I went to the gym and did cycling, chin ups, dips, sit ups and push ups. It wasn't easy, since it was packed. I had to wander around a bit to wait for the stuff I wanted, but in the end I got it done.

I caught the bus home, thinking about my basketball future. Last night Bo did something that really pissed me off. I had posted the following on our fb group:


It's official - we're playing GFST. This is the team which caused us to get off to a very slow start, so don't assume it will be an easy game.

You don't need a wild guess to know why I said that. Last thing I want is to lose just because we got over-confident.

Then Bo writes the following:

Hi guys, I think this would be an easy game. 

We can be too complacent.

What the fuck? Why say something like that? I got so pissed. Don't make me captain if you're going to undermin what I say. And if you're going to say that was a joke, it's not even funny.

Fuck.

So this is obviously one factor I will consider in deciding whether to keep playing with this team next season. Sometimes during today, I thought about how peaceful it would be to not play any comps, and to be re-assured that my knee wouldn't be at risk.

That was a good feeling.

Won $50...then fined $88

So I got bored at home, and when my parents came back I decided to go to the casino. I decided even if I lost this $100, I'd still have enough to spend the rest of the week. I thought I'd break up the $100 into $5 chips and play my sector, but had my calculations wrong, thinking I needed seven chips per spin but it was eight.

I drove out there and decided to take the risk by not getting a parking ticket. I'd be quick anyway, I told myself.

I went in, saw an empty table but decided against it, took a walk around and every other table was either $10 or full, so I went back to the empty table which now had an old man playing. I got $5 chips and played my sector. After two spins there was a change of dealers.

I was up $30 and sat there for a while wondering if I should just leave. I decided not to. I used the $30 to bet my sector minus 28/31 and it landed on...28. I then bet my sector again, this time including 28/31 and it landed on...28!

I was now up $50 and decided to go. The old lady that had been playing was losing and cashed in her remaining chips which was like $30. I cashed in after her and the dealer asked if I wanted a black. I looked confused, then said yes.

I cashed in at the register then left. As I was walking back to my car I saw parking officers. I knew I had been caught. Part of me panicked, but I told myself there was nothing I could do anyway. I calmly walked to my car, took the ticket and envelope off my windscreen, got in and drove away. $88 fine...fuck. Yet it still felt good to have won...somehow my emotions was telling me I was up, yet my logic was saying "mate, no matter which way you calculate it, you are down $38".

I love logic.

As I was driving back, I realised why the dealer thought my request to cash in was weird - I was already using cash chips! Duh! I could've just taken them to the cash register anyway!

I drove to the shopping centre near me. The plan was to get some petrol and buy a DVD to watch. I went to JB and found nothing of interest, so I went to the reject shop to buy some junk food and then went to get some petrol. I then went home, feeling my gambling urge had been satisfied - for now.

110!

I went to the courts just after 8am today. I was thinking of doing 110 shots, but didn't think I'd have the legs for it since I hadn't done it for a while. I figured I could just do five instead of 10 on each shot, but when I started my first set, I thought I'd do 10 and see how I go. If I got extremely tired then I could just stop and go home. No obligation to do all 110.

But I found myself a groove and some determination on the way. I only allowed myself sips of my half bottle of Gatorade after every two sets, and didn't shoot free throws to rest in between because I feared it'd take away my rhythm. I didn't sit down either, for fear my legs would get used to the rest too soon. The only rest I did after every two sets was standing there grabbing my shorts.

Somewhere between my 30th and 40th shot, I found that I had excellent spin on the ball as I shot. You know how Kobe has that spin on his jump shot and how I could only do it with my set shots? Well I only noticed today that it comes up for some of my jump shots as well.

I started getting really tired when I had about 40 shots left, but by then I was pretty determined to finish it off. Even if my legs locked up, I was still gonna force myself to just shoot set shots. But I didn't have to. I kept dribbling from half court to the mid-range spot and launched. The last 20, and especially the last 10, were ugly.

But I was so glad when I finally finished it. I can't believe I could still do it even with my surgically repaired knee!

PROUD!

Now I'm gonna pay for it tomorrow...

Shoyo: 2-0-2

Wednesday
So I met up with Bo on rainy Wednesday and caught the train out together. When we got to the station we waited there for Jim to pick us up in the rain. Conversation was ok, no arguments or anything, but just ok.

We played ROFL, which I thought would be an easy game - even without Nick. But they outran us in the middle of the game and got away with a 10 point lead. We slowly crawled back. Jim slipped at one stage near the mid-court and one guy from the other team stood over him and went "woooooo!"

Wow, what a dick.

They had another guy wearing a #15 jersey who was also pretty cocky. He was dancing around on defence like we weren't a threat. I so wanted to knock him the fuck out. Big Alex hit a three to tie the game with a few seconds left and a timeout was called. We decided to go man to man, and I found myself yelling "I got the cunt! I got the cunt!", referring to #15. There was no way in hell he was touching that ball.

When play resumed, I put my arms around him but didn't touch him and shadowed him as he ran to the inbound passer. Somehow someone got free and a pass was made to him, but luckily he missed and we drew the game.

After the game we found out that was Bo's man. I like how for all the chest beating he does, he went silent when he let his man go. He just cannot survive man to man, he's too slow.

After the game, Jim, Bo and I went to Macca's, even though Bo wanted to go home. I just wanted to hang out a bit and got something small to eat. After that Bo and I caught the train home. I got home so late, since it was a 9pm game.

Friday
What a bludge. I had nothing really urgent to do, and Chris' jury was out, so I basically just cleaned out my inbox, tidied up a few things and sat around bludging. I just didn't feel 'pressed' to do anything. I guess I need motivation to work.

I was also partly waiting for 12:30pm to roll around as we were going out for Cameron's farewell lunch.

I was talking to Moira in the photocopying room and somehow it came up that I asked her whether she'd take $1m now or 1 cent which doubles over the next 30 days. I told her the latter would lead to more and she didn't believe me. I thought I had it wrong so I went back to my desk to calculate it, and it led to $5.3m!

I asked Clare and she said she'd take the $1m as well. I asked Nunjo and she said the same. I told her Einstein once said the most powerful thing on earth was the power of compounding. She asked if I got this fact from the trivia calendar, and I said "from my financial...intelligence". Later when I saw her buy some candy I walked past and said "could've doubled it".

When 12:30pm arrived, Cameron and I were the only guys in the group, so we ended up walking there together. I talked to him about his 'other' place of work. He told me a bit about it, and I told him I was kinda interested in going there. If I don't get this promotion, it seems like a good alternative - I've developed an interest in business and the economy now anyways, so migth as well work in that field. Also, he told me that there's a high turnover because people get poached by the private firms - just what I want. To go to the big private firms and make a killing.

So I've semi-decided. I'm going there if I don't get this promotion.

Once at the restaurant, the seat selection thing again came up as a careful issue. Nunjo was one of the first to sit down, and Chris sat next to her. Cameron and I stood there wondering where to go. I didn't want to sit anywhere near Nunjo, so ushered Cameron to the other side, and he sat next to Chris and I sat next to him. Opposite me were Moira, Clare and Genie, so that was cool.

You know what I found out about Clare earlier in the day? That her other degree was economics. Not only do I have newfound respect for her (as opposed to people who just bludged their way through law with an arts degree), but it kinda makes me feel like I'd want her more to be my perfect partner. She said she was going to go into economics but ended up getting a placement in a law firm.

The lunch went ok, Cameron pulled out his 'murse' and we all started laughing, lol. He is such a funny guy.

Also, earlier in the day I said something to Moira about her knowing what he would want as a present, and she was like "why does everyone think I should know?"

Great, now she's playing the "why me?" game. I think she just liked the attention he was giving her. Poor Cameron.

After lunch it was more bludging and waiting for 3pm to roll around for Cameron's farewell afternoon tea, lol. We had cake made by Moira and I couldn't stay away from the chips, lol. Ended up talking with Clare and Mary a bit. Clare was talking to me about chips. I had some on my plate which was kinda mixed with leftover cake. I said she should "have some", meaning she should go get some herself, and she picked one off my plate and ate it.

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmmm.

We were talking about all the junk food they've seen me eating, and she asked what I'd eat if I was on deathrow, and Anne overheard it and made an "uhh!" semi-disgusted sound, lol!

I couldn't wait till the end of the day. Strangely I was looking forward to Shuing's birthday. I guess I missed hanging out with the group for a while.

I got changed and left the office for the gym. I went to the far away one that Nick showed me. I have this week decided to stop using weights, and only do chin ups, dips and push ups to see how I go. I don't want to get too big with weights, and I think my arms will have better, more natural definition by lifting my own weight.

Anyway, after that I went back to the office to change and then met up with the guys. I found some of them standing at the Easyway. I went to stand behind Shuing and nodded to all of them. Wir saw me and said hi, which alerted Shuing to my presence. We stood around waiting for Malay and Eva, and they arrived shortly. I found it interesting that Bobby still wasn't talking to me. I was open to making small talk, but whatever.

We went into the restaurant and Keen was already there. I ended up sitting next to him, and opposite Brain and Malay. Malay sat next to Bob, and Bob was telling him about how he was trying to go from 92kg to 85kg so he could go into a lower weight division. I found it humorous he didn't see he was taking the easy way out, and also that he ordered a large dish (same as mine, I ordered small) when trying to lose weight.

Shuing actually paid for the dinner, which kinda shocked everyone. He said he'd win it back at the casino. Hmmm.

We went to karaoke after that, and ended up waiting around for ages before we were let in. G and I went to get him a cake. Also, his girl Zoe turned up. Sometimes I look at him and really wonder how he does it - he still dresses poorly, lacks total common sense, eats with his mouth open and food drops out. Then I look at Shuing who is so smart and knowledgeable and has a legitimate view on everything.

I sang a few songs at karaoke, not really caring who was there. I think I even sang one with Bobby, lol.

I got kinda tired at karaoke. Most annoying was sitting next to Brain who is not the most entertaining person on earth. Worse, I was sitting at the very end, so if I wanted to look at the screen I had to turn my neck and it started hurting later on, whereas this guy who wasn't even doing anything had a better angle.

I half wanted to go to the casino, even though I knew Malay was going to go home. But by the time we finished karaoke it was midnight, and I wanted to wake up early to go bball training, so didn't. Malay drove Thai to his new home so Brain and I went for a ride.

On the way we stopped at Macca's for something to eat, and I told Thai about my business idea. He seemed to think it was practical as well.

What surprised me during the night was I could overhear Malay and Keen talking on the street at one stage. Keen, obviously from the effects of his divorce, was talking about massage shops (the brothel type). I was surprised to hear Malay roll a few off his tongue, one which was Midas. I wondered, was this where his money went? By my calculations he'd be earning the same, if not more than me. And he lives at home so he'd save about $700 a fortnight, yet doesn't seem to have enough for a deposit. Hmmm.

Other things...
I was chatting to this girl on a dating site a few nights ago, and she asked me to download this app called Whatsapp. So I did, and apparently it shows all my other contacts which have this app, and each have their own status update.

I saw that Naby had one, in Korean. Suddenly all these memories of her came flooding back. It showed she was last online on 20 March 2012.

So last night as I was at karaoke seeing all these 'party' girls passing by, I couldn't stop wondering how she was right now...

Today
I went to the courts in the morning and shot around. Didn't really have a plan, but found out that one way of running breaks and driving more effectively was to change speeds. I seemed to have forgotten, somewhere along the line, that I was actually pretty good at changing speed. Instead, I just try to run my fastest all the time, anywhere, everywhere, which becomes predictable.

I then went home, had a nap, and then watched the Miami vs Chicago game I downloaded using the new internet plan.

DS kicking Chris out

Yesterday Chris had her interview, so I sat in her trial for her. Nevertheless, she sat in court in the morning to prepare, as her interview was at 11:45am. The truck was late, so everyone sat in court until 10:30am. I had told Stali that I had already had my interview, and during a long break of silence, he asked me "so what questions did they ask you? Was it like supervision questions?"

Duuuuuuuude. Whaaaaaat?

I could see out of the corner of my eye that Chris had her head up, looking intently, watching. I just said "yeah, I fumbled through it". I agreed to say that because it was pretty obvious there would be a question on supervision.

At the morning tea break, Stali bought me a coffee. I finally told him I was in the HK client's case. I think he had thought all along that I was for CJ's side. We talked about that case for a bit and I finally felt our invisivble barrier had disappeared.

Anyway, at the lunch break Stali asked if Chris would be coming back, I said I'd go back to the office to ask her. So I went back, couldn't find her, called her, there was no answer, and basically spent my short lunch drinking my cup-a-soup and looking for her.

I returned to court at 2pm and then went to the bathroom at 3pm. When I came back, she was sitting there with Stali talking about her interview. I sat in the public gallery, wondering if she'd take over for court now, but she didn't. She came to talk to me a bit about the interview before court started again. We sat until it finished, then walked Stali to the bus stop and then back at the office, I went to Chris' room and we talked about her interview with the door closed.

Apparently she didn't get the question I got about what to do if you see someone doing something wrong. She said when they asked her to talk about two cases that affected the office, she told them she had prepared one which didn't affect the office, so she had to talk about two that did. She also kinda shocked me by saying that when they asked about the cop not liking what she did, she said that would never happen because she'd communicate with them throughout.

We also talked about the referee report that DS gave us. Although overall he gave her a good one, she said he said she would improve by gaining experience in another branch, and also noted that her relationship with cops seemed to be too close. I told her it was just her personality, that she was likeable. She also said DS was the type of person to come talk to you about someone else, then go to someone else and talk about you. I had suspected as much.

She also told me that DS had said to Imad that he gets scared of going to the toilet because Chris always stops him to ask a question (which he often doesn't know the answer to, which he doesn't like).

After work I met up with Bo for the bball game.

Today
The night before, Mary had made some suggestions to my report to Jim. I did them that night, and thought Mary would be able to have a look at it today then pass it onto DS.

But neither Mary or DS were in today! Argh!

SEH suggested I ask Kristie if Jim wanted a copy, so that's what I did. I went to hand it in to her, and she took it. I wondered if I had made a mistake bypassing DS. I planned to tell him tomorrow.

As I was walking past Melissa's room, she called me in. Genie and Cameron were in there, and Melissa said she wanted to share some scones, so we did that. Apparently this was her farewell for Cameron, as she wasn't going to be in tomorrow. It had a nice feel to it, I kinda liked standing around in her room, with a small napkin open containing the scones.

We ended up gossiping. I got the feeling she doesn't like Chris too much, complaining about her sneezing loudly, talking loudly in Korean, and when I said she wasn't coming in today, she (and Genie) were like, what if you had plans?

Also found out that she will be supervised by Steve, and Canda and Fiona will be supervised by Alanna when she comes back. I thought to myself, this is all making sense. The chess pieces are in place.

DS is kicking Chris out.

I left a while later as I had to go to court. I sat in the trial and had a relatively easy day, just typing. I wonder what DS thinks of my typing. Probably shit.

In the afternoon after court, I was in my room working when Nunjo knocked and came in. She said she had a question to ask me. It was about interpreting a section. I thought the solution was pretty simple, pretty sure she didn't need my help with that. Do I think she did it as an excuse to talk to me? No.

She started telling me about the matter she was doing. She said the agency wrote a letter seeking advice, and I said "I'd tell them to...fly a kite". She laughed.

Anyway, as the conversation was finishing, I gave her a lemon warhead. She hadn't had one before, but eagerly opened it there and then. As soon as she put it in her mouth, she felt it. I started chuckling. She said she could feel her cheeks sucking in and she was laughing, yet not at the same time. I told her to bear it for 20 seconds, and she said her eyes were tearing, lol.

I think she kinda liked it. I know I liked adding something to her day.

I felt too tired by the end of the day, and my legs still felt tired from last night's game, so I just caught a bus home. I thought about going to the casino, but it was too late to get the funds (phew). I thought about shopping but it was going to rain (phew). So had a cheap night in :)

If you don't get the promotion - come back here!

I couldn't walk to work today because it was raining :(

I spent the first half of the day working on a new matter, and just before noon, Jim comes into my office and asks me about the letter LA sent to us last week. I was like, yeah I spoke to Mary and DS about it, and he was like, this is the first I've seen. I told him a bit about the matter and he asked if I had sent the letter to accounts, I said no. He asked if I knew I had to do a report on it and I said no.

Faaaaaaark.


He left and when I walked out, I saw him in DS' room, presumably talking about this.

I went out to get some cheese and bacon bread and some Cup-a-Soup and then went back to the office to eat it. After lunch I started work on the report.

I went to ask Nunjo a question about something related to the report. I knocked on her door and couldn't help but smile shyly. I noticed she smiled exactly the same way. After I got her answer, I walked out. I noticed it was the same as yesterday's - strictly work related and leave.

Anyway, as I worked more and more on the report, I got angrier and angrier. I was angry because I felt like I was in trouble when it wasn't even my fault. Like, the letter had Jim's name on it, so I assumed registry gave him a copy. It didn't have my name on it, so someone in registry looked the matter up on our system, saw it was me, saw DS was my boss, and gave us two a copy, but the retard didn't give Jim a copy!

And even then, I could only assume that when I told Mary and DS, that DS would pass it onto Jim. Is it really my fault if he doesn't? What more could I have done?

And then even after all that, it wasn't even the fault of my office! Fuck this.

I told myself that even though I was pissed, I shouldn't tell anyone about it. But I ended up hinting it to Clare. Late in the afternoon I saw her in the photocopying room, and we talked about Jim. She said he was a really hard marker, and that when she was his PA, she got angry because he gave her a "satisfactory" reference, and he didn't even understand why she was angry.

She asked me about the reference DS gave me, and I told her a bit about the rankings he gave me and how he acknowlegded that because I don't make a fuss, that he didn't know about my matters and that it wasn't fair.

So because she said Jim was a hard marker, I went to sit down at the parabay to read my minute to ensure there were no errors. Nunjo walked by and said bye. I looked up and said bye. She kept her head turned to me as she walked away, smiling. I watched for a moment before looking back down to my minute.

I could hear her talking to Genie. After they finished, I quickly went to Genie's room, closed the door and had a whinge about what had happened today. She told me what I expected, the usual don't worry and stuff, but it was just good to let it out.

She told me about how in her earlier trial she had to do a minute, she did it, and it wasn't marked by DS then he went on leave. It got handed to Imad, wasn't done, then given to Mary, but when DS returned, he said to Genie it should've been done earlier, lol.

I went to the gym after. I did dips and push ups. I think I'll stop with the benchpress and weights for a while, as I want to see what improvements I can get from doing exercises using my own body weight.

I'm sorry, I just can't be your friend

It struck me sometime late last night that Nunjo's act of inviting me to drinks with Christina was the equivalent of Trent offering to buy me a beer after feeling bad that he scolded me before I moved to the branch. It was, her way of saying "let's be mates".

How do I know this is right? Because it came late. I'm always a bit slow when it comes to these realisations. But when it does come, it makes sense. Perhaps my brain likes to let the dust settle, step back and analyse the situation using my subconscious mind.

Today I walked to work. I was beginning to think that that chick was now avoiding me. Geez, how bad did I feel? She didn't even know me and I made her walk a different way to work. Was it really because I ignored her that day?

Just as I was thinking that, she showed up in the far distance along the path under the trees. I was happy. I didn't look, but don't think she did either. I was just happy this resumed.

After I changed at work, I saw Nunjo had just gotten in and was in her room. I walked past and said good morning. Other than that, I pretty much kept in my room working on my comm report. Without Mary, it was definitely a lot quieter.

I figured I could get this report done before the end of the day, and saw no reason why I would have to stay back late, so the thought of going home 'early' appealed to me. That meant I would be skipping gym, so I decided to go at lunch instead. It'd be a quick workout, no time wasting like at night times. No such luxuries.

I got changed at noon and then jogged to the gym. I alternated between sit ups and chin ups, then did five minutes of rowing, then jogged back to the office. All in about 40 minutes.

As I was eating my lunch with the door closed, watching a finance youtube video on my phone, Nunjo knocked on my door. I didn't really feel like being bothered, so kinda just reluctantly waved her in (btw, I later thought to myself, would I treat Mary the same way? No, that's because I don't respect Nunjo the same way).

She asked me what I was watching and I just said a youtube video. She had a piece of paper with her and asked me to look at it and let her know what I thought of the directions. I wondered if she wanted me to do it now, which I really didn't want to do. She said it wasn't urgent, and left.

So because I now believe my late night revelation, I accepted that she was just doing something what any normal colleague would do. Still, I could not be her friend, or even a very good colleague to her.

I did hear her on the phone saying something like she rented the place since September. I wonder if she was talking to her landlord about moving. I'd like that. She moves on, and I move on.

In the photocopying room later, I saw Moira. I said she and Nunjo were wearing green. She joked saying it was planned. When we walked out Nunjo was at the para-bay, and Moira told her what I said. Nunjo joked that she had called Moira in the morning. I said to call me next time and walked off, and she said "you never wear green!"

I finished my stuff by about 4:20pm and then just bludged. I got changed at around 5pm and was in my room with the door closed, shutting the computer down. I heard Nunjo walk out. A large part of me wanted to follow her so we could talk on our way out. But then I decided to just get something to eat from the kitchen which would make me not bump into her.

Since I had time, I walked home. I wondered if I'd see her on the way back but I didn't. If she walks to work, would she walk home?

Kainan: 10-1

On Saturday I met up with Malay and Brain for lunch. I had invited Thai but apparently he had moved to Meadowbank.

I picked them up and we went to the shopping centre near me. Malay had come back earlier from Malaysia, so this was the first time I'd seen him in a while.

When we got there we went to the foodcourt and bought our lunches. I told them about my mobile car washing idea. I couldn't really tell very well whether they thought it was a good idea or if they were just being agreeable (they both just seem to go with the flow). I asked Brain if he was interested and he said something like "we'll see how it goes" which to me meant a no. That might be a good thing. I don't see him having the balls to put out money, and even if he did, I get the feeling he'd be the type to not put in much effort.

We went for a walk through JB Hi-fi afterwards, and then decided to buy a lotto ticket. But because Malay thought the newsagency there didn't have much luck, and because we lost so badly on the other one, we decided to go elsewhere. I suggested Hillsdale so we went there.

Malay went to the toilet while Brain and I bought a ticket for the Oz one on Tuesday. Then Brain and I went to Coles where we bought a big bottle of juice, some cups and a pack of chips. We started eating it and when Malay came back, we just all sat there sharing it and talking.

I had to get the car back to my dad by 4pm so I drove them all home and returned the car.

Today
I met up with Nick at Central. As he appeared from the stairs, I was at first glad to see him, until I saw him wearing our green Shoyo shorts. He saw what shorts I was wearing and realised his mistake. The train had just arrived. He thought about going home to change and then driving out. I suggested we just get on the train and hope they'd let him play, so we did.

Bo got on at Redfern. It took him a few moments before he realised Nick was wearing the wrong uniform, lol. Nick seemed out of it mentally. He told me he had broken up with Vera. Also, when we were about to get off the train, Bo spotted his wallet left on the train. Lucky.

We walked to the courts and Nick asked me to ask Jim to bring a white jersey. Jim decided to just pick us up instead, even though we said not to worry about it. He picked us up and we went back to his place where he gave Nick his full white Celtics uniform.

We drove back to the courts and warmed up. I did suicides and Jim was like "don't tire yourself out before the game". I thought, what the hell? This is just warm up.

Alex showed up and told us he has a partially torn ligament. Damn. I told him to take it easy for the next 6 months, but he sounded like he wants to make it back in time for the playoffs.

We played Ruthless. MJ was a no-show, so we only had six: me, Mike, Bo, Nick, Carter and Jim. We got off to an early lead and never really looked back.

A few times I got into the passing lane and got an intercept. The first one I just hit away and out of bounds, but the others I managed to run down the court and convert the lay up. I'd like to think it was my quick reflexes, but I think they just made shitty passes.

Bo started running his fastbreaks (again). I now know why people don't run with him - it's because he gets a head start, AND the guards assume he will pass it, so instead of dashing ahead or with him, we hang back waiting for the pass, only to see him run ahead. At one time, Jim was running with him, and Jim was like "pass it pass it pass it!" Bo didn't pass it and ended up losing it, and Jim said "fucking pass it!" I thought he really needed that, because if I had said it then it would've been nagging. Bo did look at me, but I just ignored it, hoping he knew he was wrong.

I did make a huge mistake at one point. I was standing near the halfway line, and Jim slapped the ball out towards me, but I for some reason thought I couldn't get to it in time so just stood there watching it. It was like everything was in slow motion. I just stood there and watched it go out instead of getting it. Why the hell did I do that? That's not the first time either.

We won like 60-34 or something. Although it was nice to get an easy win to finish off the regular season, the downside is it makes guys complacent. Bo kept saying how easy it was and how we'd have it easy in the playoffs. I think that's the first step towards an upset.

We grabbed a free sausage sizzle and hung around outside for a while, talking. Then we decided to get something else to eat so we went to Auburn for kebabs. As we sat there talking, I noticed Nick was kinda quiet throughout, except the intermittent joke. After that we went to the pub nearby and talked. Nick and Jim seemed interested talking about proerty values and that, while Bo and I had a bit of a talk about how we get to a certain age and people think we're weird for not being married. He said he's already reached that age.

We were there for a while. I wished it would never end. This is the first full weekend I've had without going into work for a long time. I think I'll treat Bo like Shuing now - it's ok to have him around when others are there, but try to minimise one on one contact.

Bo made a comment after the game as Mike was talking about my fastbreaks and how I turn around to look at defenders catching up a lot. Bo said I was "anxious". I silently agreed.

Anxious or careful. Maybe I have my reasons. I don't want to let this opportunity slip. Or maybe Bo has a point - maybe we will have an easy road to the championship?

I wandered around the city for a while, before remembering to get a new car key for my dad. It cost $180, but I still got it anyway. It's been a bit overdue.

Preferring to be alone...

On Thursday, Nunjo returned from her trip to Moree and Parra. I knew everyone would be going to ask her how it was and all that. But not me. Maybe the easter break plus the days she was gone had something to do with it, but I just didn't feel like seeing her. If I never saw her again, I probably would prefer that. I don't know what changed in my mind.

I stayed in my room to work for most of the day, but at one point I was at the photocopier waiting for a printout and she came in. She said "[insert name here]" and I said "hello", both with a rather formal and uncomfortable tone. I said "you're back" and she said yes. I then got my printout and left.

I went to the gym after work.

Friday
I haven't seen that chick on the walk to work much. I think I saw her on Tuesday and that was it. Hmmm.

The ignoring of Nunjo continued. But it was hard at times because Mary would be in a group conversation with her and Clare, and then lure me into it. One of them involved me knowing about another tall blonde female cop, and Mary said I should go for her. I said she had a boyfriend and was older. Then they started talking about some girl who had worked here previously but had fraudulently created her qualifications. I tried to avoid looking at Nunjo at all, but made eye contact sometimes.

Very uncomfortable.

I walked past Christina's room at one point and Canda was coming out. It sounded like they were talking about meeting up after work. Canda asked who was coming and Chris said "just Nunjo". I wondered if it was something similar to last time and wondered if they'd invite me. They didn't.

I was emailing Ele about meeting up.I was going to tell her about my mobile car wash idea. But to be honest, I don't think she really wanted to meet. She said she was going to the gym and could meet after. I said I'd go to gym as well and meet her after. She did say she could skip gym and meet me, and added that she "was flexible". I asked "how flexible?" and noticed she totally ignored that message.

Perhaps that was the final hit to home that she wasn't there to flirt; just to share business ideas.

:(

So I went to the gym after work, did my stuff and then met her. We went into Woolies because I wanted to get a potato salad. Despite me making her laugh, she said she wasn't planning to walk to Central, which I figured would give me time to explain the idea to her. Instead, we stood at Town Hall and talked. She seemed to like my idea and said it was more practical than her online idea.

We agreed to look into the costs and then parted.

I really looked forward to just going home, eating my potato salad and having a quiet night.

If I hadn't of cancelled my date with Jessica due to my cold, I'd be meeting her for dinner. But somehow I preferred my night alone than to meet her. Now after the Nunjo and Ele thing, it only emphasised how I felt.

I think I just want to be alone...

Shoyo: 2-0-1

On Wednesday morning I woke up feeling a bit worse than the day before due to the cold I was having. My throat just felt like shit. I posted a message in our team fb page saying if we had enough, I'd sit out because I had a cold.

By the time I walked to work, Bo had sent me a message telling me I shouldn't say something like that because then other guys will just use flimsy excuses to get out of games. I didn't want to argue, so I just said "aight", deleted my fb message, and said I was going to play.

It pissed me off, but if he wanted me to play, then I'd play.

He wanted to meet up and go together, so we did. For some reason, he decided to talk about Jeremy Lin on the train and all the way to the courts. He already knew my stance on him - I thought he was at least decent because he took the Knicks on that winning streak when Carmelo, Stoudemire and Baron were out. He claimed that Jeremy Lin was the worst point guard of all time due to his turnovers, and that Patrick Mills was better. He even admitted that he didn't like Jeremy Lin because he was over-hyped. I asked if he didn't like the fact that he was over-hyped because he was Asian, and he said yes. Then I put to him that he thougth Patrick Mills should be supported because he was Australian and he said yes.

As we left the station and waited to cross the road, I said Jeremy Lin was a good investment, because he was paid the minimum yet generated all this income for the Knicks and the NBA. I said it was like buying a share worth one cent and watching it go up to a dollar, and he just said "that's a shit analogy". If you were watching, you could see my body language change. I crossed my arms and walked and didn't say anything. I couldn't wait until I saw Jim so I could have a whinge. Then he said something like "I bet you're thinking about going to talk to Jim and not me when we get there".

I really couldn't stand him.

We played Knights. They consisted mainly of short stubby guys. There was one black kid who was lightning quick. I remember I was trying to guard him in the backcourt, sliding my feet, and he just blew past me, making me look (and feel) like a pensioner. Damn.

We won the game pretty easily. Bo annoyed me again - he had an inbounds pass on the base line, and I was close to him on the wing. I told Mike to set me a screen and he did, so I was wide open. He doesn't even see me and throws it to the three point line where it gets intercepted. Seriously, what the fuck? How many times has he done that now, where he turns the ball over on a base line inbounds pass?

So A played his first game with us, he turned out an alright performance, but he still seems to hang around the three point line instead of going in. We had like eight guys (me, Bo, Nick who was sick as well, Jim, A, big Alex, Mike, and Dunnycan) so I don't even know why I needed to pay.

After the game I asked A for a lift, but he was apparently going to his in-laws which was around the area. Nick drove but because he has a ute, he can only fit one person, which each time defaults to Bo (I swear this has something to do with race, but that's another topic for another day).

I said I was happy to walk to the station, but Nick and Bo said I should jump into the ute. I said no and just walked, and then they literally drove next to me all the way down the road. It wasn't just that, but they were trying to joke with things like "hey babe, wanna get in the car?" and trying to grab me. I know they were trying to joke around, but I just felt like being left alone, so that really made things worse for me in terms of Bo.

I decided to see how fast I could run as a way of speeding up this painful journey, so asked them to see my speed as I ran next to the car. Apparently I got up to 22km/h with my bag on, which I didn't think was bad.

When I was on the train, I thought about how things tonight had just increased my likelihood of retiring from the Sunday comp after this season. Of course, I'll think about it during the break, but I wondered to myself how much more of Bo can I take?

Tuesday
In court in the morning, wanted to get this letter to a self rep done, but in afternoon got caught in a loooong conversation with Mary and Clare in Clare's room. DS came to break things up by wanting to see me, and we went into my room.

He came to see me about his referee report. As always, he had really good things to say, but he said he had to rank people, so only gave me mainly G's (Goods). He said the comments were much better than the ratings, and when I read them afterwards, I agreed. However, when he was talking to me, the pessimistic side of me heard only "you're good, but you don't have supervision experience, so you're not going to get it".

Although I was nodding and smiling, inside I felt like crying. One thing he said made me really angry - he said probably because I don't make a fuss, he doesn't hear much about my matters and hence doesn't really know what to say in these types of reports. Yet the people who cause trouble, he knows about their matters. Wow, this just re-affirms my belief that nice guys get fucked over - bad.

I worked till 8pm and then went to the gym. I started losing hope that I'd get even a temporary position. I started thinking about looking elsewhere. I'm just at an age where I need to earn more money.

Deep Sea Fishing / Up in the Air

I woke up at 4:50am today for deep sea fishing, left home at about 5:20am, figuring I'd get there in an easy 30 minutes. Ele didn't give me an exact address, but I typed in the suburb in my GPS figuring I'd find my way to the beach/wharf once I got to the suburb.

But I thought it was strange how my GPS was directing me towards Newcastle. It was already strange when I passed St Leonards, because I remember from looking at the map that I was supposed to turn off from around there. Anyway, I followed my trusty GPS - it can't be wrong, can it?

Until I reached the Newcastle freeway and thought "waaaaiiiiiit a minute, this ain't friggin' right". I pulled over and saw that Ele had called me heaps of times. It was now 6am. She asked me where I was, and I said I was misled by my GPS and said they should go without me. She asked me how long I'd be and I said to just go without me. She insisted and asked me to look up on my GPS how far I was from the address she had now given me. I told her about 40 minutes and said again to go without me. She said she'd speak to the captain to see if they could wait, and then said maybe they could come back to get me.

I really started to wonder why she was making so much effort to have me there. I certainly didn't care about myself - why should she?

I hung up and found rather quickly a side road that allowed me to turn around on drive back towards where I had entered the freeway. That was lucky, given how much petrol and time I could've wasted.

I started finding my way there and got lost again after missing an exit on the bridge, so had to turn the fuck around again. A large part of me really wanted to just give up and go home. Do you know how embarassing it was going to be to turn up late because I got lost? I mean, I don't even have an excuse. I started to think of excuses, like "but my GPS..." and then realised I'd sound like Bo.

Just cop it mate. You're an idiot. Admit it.


Yes, I am. And I wasn't about to make any excuses.

I found my way to a suburb close by, and then used common sense to just drive towards the water. I found a beach. Not completely sure it was the beach, I parked and got out of my car. I saw that Ele had called me heaps and had sent me a message saying they'd come back at 7:30.

I called Yang and said I was there, and he said they were coming to get me. I walked around the jetty and used the bathroom before I saw their cruise ship coming towards the jetty. I saw an unfamiliar group of people but noticed Ele. She was yelling "worst behaviour of the day!" I was still adjusting to this whole thing, and this guy offered his hand out for me to jump onto the ship. I didn't know how at first, scared I'd stack it and fall into the water, and then grabbed his hand and jumped onto the side of the ship and then down onto the platform.

I apologised for being late and Ele repeated what she'd said earlier. I was greeted by this tall white guy called Andrew. He was with his girlfriend Vicky. I started recognising Jessica and her boyfriend, and that couple Sylvia and Chang (the nerd who I can't figure out how he got with her, who is kinda hot).

Andrew said when he first saw me, he thought I was a monk. WTF? Anyway, as I spoke to him, I realised he looked and sounded like that skinny guy from That 70s Show. I didn't really know what to do, everyone looked settled into their positions so I just stood around as we headed out to sea.

We stopped at an area out in the water where we fished a bit, then moved to another area to fish a bit. We repeated this about 5-6 times throughout the day. There weren't really enough rods (or at least rods ready to go) for everyone, so I kinda shared with Yang. Bill and Jessica's boyfriend caught the most fish, while Yang and I caught nothing, which was really disappointing.

It was a lot harder than it looks. At first I was really scared I'd fall over as I was holding the rod, because you can't balance using your arms, and it can be a lot rockier than you think.

Being on that boat, it made me wonder whether I'd ever have enough money to buy something like this. It'd be so cool to just cruise out to the waters whenever you wanted some peace and quiet. Maybe I could just live on a boat.

I also thought about the dynamics of the people on the ship. It's funny - I used to like Ele, and Jessica used to like me. I silently compared myself to her boyfriend, who was really good at fishing and seemed to know a lot about it. He was a really nice guy as well.

I also found myself standing next to Yang, remembering how Bobby said he felt like pushing him over. I didn't. I just thought it was odd that I used to like Ele, and now I had accepted that that would no longer be possible. Further, I was now friends with her husband.

The captain was Rick, who had this really gregarious laugh. Despite being surrounded by a bunch of Asians, half of which had pretty poor English, he was still able to crack jokes and laugh at them himself. I admired that.

So everyone on that ship was a couple - except Laura and I. I thought maybe that was a good opportunity, but it seemed like she didn't even want to talk to me. Sitting near her inside, she just played with her phone. Fishing with her, she just gave one word responses. Oh well, I tried.

I kinda enjoyed hanging out there more than the actual fishing, and I think most of the girls did too, as they didn't do too much fishing.

At about 10am, Rick called it quits and we headed back to the jetty. It was kinda a relief to get off and stand on stable land.

We decided to get a coffee, and Ele said afterwards we could go to yum cha together. I joked "or individually", and Sylvia laughed. Always interesting to see who buys my jokes.

We went to a nearby cafe where some of us bought drinks. I bought a frozen paddle pop thing, trying to stay away from caffeine. After that, Jessica and her boyfriend left, and the rest of us went to yum cha. I drove and followed Yang's car, and was surprised that we passed two RBTs and neither of us got picked.

He decided to try his luck with street parking, while I parked in Westfields. As I was finding the restaurant, I passed Ele and Laura who said they were going shopping. I found Yang by himself at a table inside the restaurant, and we talked a bit. I talked about Colin and asked why he worked so much. Yang said he was planning to buy a property this year, and asked me when I planned to buy one. I said next year or next two years (which is feasible).

Eventually the rest of the people arrived. Despite sitting on opposite ends of the table, Sylvia and I managed to team up to get Andrew to try chicken feet, as he said he didn't like the vinegar type. I also caught her looking at me sometimes across the table. Hmmm.

I didn't get to speak to Vicky much, but she seemed a bit like a ball buster. She and Bill engaged in this cross-table discussion in Mandarin about finance, and Andrew and I kinda just gave eachother a 'look'.

It was enjoyable to be around them, and I wondered what we were going to do next. It sounded like they wanted to play mahjong at Sylvia's place or something, and I was contemplating giving that a miss. Afterwards, turns out we all just went our separate ways. I walked a bit with Andrew as we were headed in the same direction, and then at the traffic lights I parted ways with him, Vicky, Chang and Sylvia.

I took a walk through Westfields, looking for JB Hi-Fi. Can you believe they don't have one? Damn. I also found this really nice three piece charcoal Uber suit. Altogether it would've cost about $400 which wasn't too bad. I swear I would've bought it there and then if I had the money. I told myself I could buy it with this coming pay cheque, but I resisted, and told myself I had to stick to my new plan of only buying major discretionary items from investment income. Besides, a three piece suit will always be around.

I ended up driving to the shopping centre near me to go to JB Hi-Fi. Shuing had strongly recommended Up in the Air, so now I was tempted to watch it. I found it and bought it for $19. I went home, intending to give my car a wash and then to wash Malay's car, thinking I'd have my car for the rest of the day as my dad would've gone to work.

But when I got home, he was there. I realised the clock in the car hadn't been changed due to daylight savings yet. Anyways, I still had a bit more than an hour before he left, so I went down to wash my car. It was sooooo clean and sparkly after, I felt so proud :)

I then went to give Malay's a scrub but it wasn't there. I figured he was back from Malaysia and texted him. I then went home to watch the movie.

Even as a guy, I must admit, George Clooney is good looking. I liked the suit he was wearing. Anyway, I could relate to his character sooo well. Just being alone, thinking that it's ok, until he finds that perfect someone and now wants someone in his life.

However, what really hit home with me was when he decided to just show up at Alex's place. She opens the door, and he sees kids. We hear her husband ask who's at the door. She says it's just someone who's lost. He starts backing away. It was sooooo sad.

She calls him up after to talk to him about it. She tells him "You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis." The look on his face was the look on my face when the whole Naby thing came crashing down. That was me, right there. All along, probably before he even knew it, he had subconsciously thought about what it'd be like to turn Alex into reality. He thought it was possible, and he tried to make it possible, until reality slapped him in the face. Again, that was me. I could've cried right there and then.

So where does the movie leave us? Is it ok to be alone, or are we always better off having a life partner?

Assuming others are rational

I took a nap after my jog, then woke up, had a shower and eventually got ready to meet G and Shuing for lunch. I felt like a walk, so walked to Chinksford listening to my music. When I got there, I was surprised to see that Tea Inn was now closed. Damn, I was looking forward to a cheap meal and a big serving.

I waited a bit before Shuing showed up. We got talking about work and that, touching on salaries and I told him about how I had applied for a promotion. Later, G showed up and we went across the road to a new place that had yum cha. When I asked what they wanted to eat, Shuing said "anything". I chuckled inside because I knew he'd only settle for Asian food.

Shuing asked what I was doing in about two weeks time. I didn't really want to hang out, but said I thought I was free. He said it was his birthday and he wanted to organise a night at the casino hotel. I suppose it's a good idea, as long as I can control myself.

We talked about girls as well. I told them about how I met a girl (Faye) and how I clicked but I wasn't attracted. They said I shouldn't pursue it.

G showed us some pics of girls from his facebook profile. I wondered if girls did the same thing. I told them if they did, the first thing they'd ask is "what does he do?" whereas guys just care about the appearance. Shuing reminded me of an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry and Elaine tried to set George up, and it was basically the same, lol.

I told them that my goal was to get out of the rat race. Shuing asked me how and I said I wasn't really sure, not really wanting to reveal my preliminary plans to live off dividends, or to reveal my business ideas. He said he could introduce me to what he does with his sports betting and said G could prove that it made money. I'm sure it did, but I didn't really want to be a part of it.

G said he wanted to go see the circus after lunch, so I said I'd come along. It took a bit of persuasion to get Shuing to come, and eventually he did. I went in his car as we drove out to the city, and we talked about economics and finance a bit. It's always interesting to pick his mind on these things.

We parked Shuing's car near the city and then went in G's car the rest of the way. We walked to Darling Harbour and it was apparent now that G was meeting a girl there.

When we saw her, I was surprised that she was decent looking. A fob, but decent looking. She didn't seem shy. Shuing and I let them walk together, and we talked about finance and a girl Shuing liked from work. We went to the circus tent and because you had to pay to get in, we didn't do it. Instead, we went to watch the trapeze. I went to the bathroom and realised that this whole time my zipper had been undone! Fuck! Oh well...

I went back out to see they had all moved to another area. We let G and Zoe stand together while Shuing and I talked. Again he talked about this girl he liked, and also about me. I said I was starting to get used to being alone, and kinda enjoyed it, and he said it was a dangerous thing.

Turns out that he had never spoken to this girl he likes at work, and she had moved to another area (airport) so he doesn't get to see her anymore. He was asking me on how he could contact her, and I suggested he email her asking if they could meet up because he was interested in working at the airport and seeing what it was like.

We then moved on and walked around. Shuing suggested coffee and Zoe eagerly agreed. G suggested coffee at Macca's, and I quickly shut that idea down.

Da fuck is he thinking?


We wneded up at a kid's play area  abit while G and Zoe worked on juggling, and Shuing and I sat nearby talking more about this girl he liked. He told me "in his darkest hours" he considered asking Clare out again.

Guess G never told him I went out with her...


I asked him what she was up to and he said she was looking for a boyfriend and still wasn't working. Call me evil but it kinda made me glad.

When G and Zoe finished, we went to Guylian for a coffee. She had a macaroon and something else, even though she couldn't reall pronounce 'macaroon'. I thought the staff there were kinda rude, asking us if we were ready to order a minute after we sat down, and then had a really urgent vibe as they took our order.

Zoe got along with us fairly well, even though I kinda expected she'd be a bit shy around three guys. I was careful not to show up G, but when she asked if I had any interesting cases I told them about Christina's trial. She did say a couple of things which sounded kinda weird, like "G and I know what we want" and she offered to introduce Shuing and I to some of her friends when they come back from holiday.

She even suggested leaving towards the end, which made me think she was a little pushy or at least had more direction than G. She offered out her hand to Shuing and I to shake when we parted.

I could sense Shuing wanted to do something. I probably would've gone to the casino if he suggested, but he didn't. I think he wanted to get some dinner, but I seriously wasn't hungry, so I just said I wanted to go home. He drove me home, and we talked about my expectations and how my team said I nagged them. He said it showed I cared. He ended up saying that one mistake I was making which he has made as well was assuming people were rational.

That made sense. I had assumed Nunjo wanted to save money. I had assumed Bo knew better than to keep drinking and to keep wearing slippers despite having already hurt himself once wearing them. I had assumed Malay knew smoking was killing him. I had assumed Thai knew the importance of money when I suggested he give his son a dollar a day until he turns 18.

I realised I was assuming too much, and expected others to see things the way I saw them.

Maybe I should stop.