Jigged work for casino / Julie / Misha?

After crying last night, I made the borderline decision not to go into work today. I called up to say I had a headache and wouldn't be in. It wasn't a complete lie, I did have a very small minor headache, but I could've done a day in the office.

Nevertheless, I put on my suit minus the tie and went to the casino. I got there at about 10am, and as I was walking there, I thought "so this is what being unemployed but trying to look employed must feel like". I also felt like Mark Wahlberg's character in The Gambler.

I had $4000 with me, and my ambitious goal was to get to $10,000. Yes, I was planning to spend a whole day here. My plan was to win $1000, take a break, then win another $1000, take a break, and so on.

At my first table, I went up $1000 in pretty much no time, by a combination of martingale and luck. However, I didn't take a break. I kept going, and soon found myself back to where I started.

I kept playing, and before I knew it, it was already around 12pm. I was up and down, but it seemed like for the most part I was hanging around a $1000-1500 gain. At one point I was up $3000.

I played at Katie's table, and for the first time made a bit of chit chat with her. I find she really likes talking, and quiet tables probably bore her. I also found that she's quite...blunt. Like at one point, she was telling her supervisor how she wished the next guy would come take her shift quickly as she needed to "do a shit" and that she had been "farting" all this time. This was in front of like three or four players at the table. Her supervisor looked quite embarrassed. It's funny, because before that, at one point, I was about to say "what is that smell?" as I thought I smelled something.

Julie was working around the area I was playing in, but I generally avoided her, at times even walking past in front of her to play at another table. However, at one point, she went on a break, and I changed tables to one near where you can buy chips. I thought there'd be a good chance she'd end up on this table when she returned from her break, and I was right.

I decided I'd make conversation with her. I watched her as she sat down, waiting to make eye contact. She continually adjusted her seat for what seemed like a long time. I think she was nervous. Even after that, it seemed like she didn't want to look at me, until finally when she did, she said "oh hey". I said "I see you've moved onto baccarat", and she said yes.

She quickly launched into a what seemed like very apologetic speech, saying sorry for the last time when she flipped over my cards instead of letting me squeeze them. She said she only saw my chips afterwards and out of the corner of her eye. I told her not to worry as it didn't really change the cards anyway. It struck me that this was something she had been wanting to say to me for ages, as it seemed a little rehearsed and she kinda stuttered a bit.

Anyway, we got talking. Apparently she's been doing baccarat for eight months now, and she prefers it more than roulette as the customers complain less. She also said that where we currently were, she would be lucky to work there as they get to sit down, whereas at the other baccarat tables she is usually at they have to stand.

I told her about my trip to Japan. She asked how long I went and who I went with. She seemed a bit surprised that I'd go alone, especially for my birthday. Also told her I was going to the US at the end of the year, so I couldn't afford to lose too much.

She seemed very talkative, and so I guess we were back on good terms. I'd like to think it meant she was interested in me, but I am a bit wary about coming to that conclusion.

There were other people playing at the table too, but after a few losses by them, most walked away. When the shoe finished, I talked to her a bit before leaving, saying I was going to get something to eat.

I went to roulette instead, and spent a bit of time winning $200 and then going to eat something. I couldn't believe it was like 4pm already, and I was up about $2600. After eating, I returned to baccarat where I saw a really crowded and loud table. I went to take a look and instantly saw Angel, Misha and the same guy sitting there. I came to the conclusion that the guy wasn't Misha's boyfriend or anything, nor was she interested in him in that way.

I played at another table, and when that ended, went to a table downstairs. I found one where that Vietnamese guy with the mustache was playing and decided to follow him. Unfortunately he didn't seem to have as much luck as usual, and he got pretty pissed. I, on the other hand, managed to win a bit and claw my way back up to a $3000 gain.

I saw Angel, Misha and the guy walk out to an open area, presumably for a smoke. The way Angel walked between them made me more sure that there was nothing going on between them. Later, when they came back, they were walking towards and past me, and I'm pretty sure they saw me as I was playing with $5000 worth of chips in my hands. I thought they had left but I later saw them split up at some tables upstairs.

I decided that was enough for me, and went to cash out. I went to the Vietnamese chick and tried to start up a conversation again, saying "I got lucky at baccarat" and all she said was "is it". Hmmm.

Anyway, I sat around a bit thinking about going for a punt, but unbelievably I didn't really know of any shops other than my regular haunt. So I walked back to the main part of the city, deposited my cash, then caught a bus home.

For some reason, winning $3000 doesn't seem like as big a deal as it actually is. I just don't seem to appreciate the fact that today could've easily gone the other way and I'd be $12,000 in debt instead of $5,000. I really wish I could knock that fact into my head.

/Misha

I always wondered if I was unknowingly falling for Misha, despite my conscious efforts to mentally keep her at bay. I guess my efforts to buy her that Korean 'Rich Dad Poor Dad' book and my plans to buy her a small five gram gold bullion instead of these $100 casino chips may have given me my answer.

But I got confirmation of it last night.

It all started when in the afternoon I noticed from the shop's Wechat roster that she wasn't working. She didn't work Monday either, and she usually works both days. I wondered if she had taken those days off to be at the casino.

Nah, stop making assumptions. She could take day off work for any reason - she could be sick.

You're right. Stop assuming.

So anyway, after work I headed to the casino. I saw that hot dealer Michelle, but didn't go to her table as she was at a $200 table. I sat down at a table, lost a few hundred dollars by the end of the shoe (was only ever up $50), changed tables, then came back.

It was here that I looked over to the table on my left and saw Misha. She was sitting with a Korean guy, obviously together. They weren't 'touchy feely' together, maybe the same way she was with me when we first met at the casino. Initially I tried not to let it get to my head as I continued playing, but slowly it became too much. Add to that that I was losing.

I would steal a peek over at times to see if they were still there. They were. The guy looked a bit younger, most probably younger than her, with orange dyed hair and black rimmed glasses. It sounded like they were winning.

After I was down $700, I decided to move to the roulette tables. Initially I was calm, but I could feel the 'rush' coming over me, as my bets became more daring and reckless. I was up at first, only by a bit, and then started losing.

Finally, I cashed out with $600 left and went to see Jane.

She remembered me, as soon as we were out of sight of reception, she said "Mario cafe", referring to the pictures I showed her from my Japan trip. I called her "Gundam girl".

As we stripped and showered, she told me her friend had accidentally spilled hot water onto her wrist and she showed me a bandage on her left wrist. She said because of that, she was out of work for four weeks. I really couldn't think of much to say, given my mental state, so asked her if she was right handed or left handed. She said she was both, but prefers her left.

We had sex, and then afterwards she was massaging my right arm as we talked. Found out she likes really spicy food (but not Indian) and we both like horror movies, especially Saw, though she seems to like only the non-super natural type of horror.

We swapped ghost stories, with her telling me she saw the ghost of an old man at a shop she used to work at, near 359 Riley Street, and I told her my Bankstown story. What was a bit disturbing was that she told me she was sleeping in the shop that night, and I wondered about her personal situation.

She also told me that room six of this shop was to be avoided, and then added that it was Misha who told her. She asked me if I knew Misha and I nodded.

I would joke at times about her cooking for me, or meeting me to play basketball at Timezone, and she'd be in general agreement, though I never asked to swap numbers or anything as I thought it was too early. Besides, I still felt like a stranger to her.

She told me she was thinking of changing to a 'normal' job, working at a friend's Korean fusion restaurant near Central. She said this job brought in good money but it was too easy to spend.

The hour seemed to last forever and I wondered if reception had forgotten about us. But alas, the buzzer went and I noticed that it was pretty much an hour.

One of the biggest come back ever (casino)

On Tuesday after work I went to the casino, telling myself that I'd just win $100 and go. For some reason, as I edge closer to the casino, that amount turns into $200, then $300, then maybe $500, then maybe "whatever the best you can do".

I sat down at a baccarat table, and won $250. I thought to myself, "come on, you're up more than you wanted, time to go". But I didn't. I thought I could win one more. And then that was when I started losing. Over some time, I was slowly losing, until I was down to my last $300.

I decided to go blow the rest on roulette. Ended up on a table where the dealer was that talkative Francis guy, bet my money on the 1-2 section and won. To my amazement, I was slowly crawling back up. He hit a lot of 1-2 sections and I guess that helped.

With him as a dealer, I got back up to like $1000, and then even after the dealer change, I was still making my way up. Eventually I got up to $2000, cashed in and left. But I wanted one more win at baccarat just to 'prove' something. So I went back, and managed to find a table that was on a banker streak and won $500 and left.

What a close call. I really don't think I could've afforded that loss.

On Thursday I went again before bball, won $350 at baccarat and left. At the cashier, I went to that Vietnamese chick, and decided to try to be friendly and asked "hi how are you" as I approached. She looked at me, looking a bit surprised that I said something, seemed to mumble a response before counting the money for me. Cute.

I went again on Friday, won $350 and then went to the gym. Did those jumping from a lying down position exercises as I felt guilty about my own downfall (not sure if due to age, diet or lack of training). Felt good to be in the gym on a Friday night. Such a different environment to the casino. It's kinda like going from hell to heaven.

Yesterday morning I went to the casino at 7am. I won $500 and then went to Footlocker for the release of the Jordan 11 IE true reds. I had ticket 40, and Derek was supposed to be there with 41, but he was late. I didn't think he'd be called, but he was! Then two numbers later, I was called!!!

I saw people were buying the Lebron 12 'What The', with some even buying only the Lebrons, and so I decided to buy it to see if I could re-sell. So I bought my two pairs, then Derek came. In the end they did a re-draw for the people left, and he got picked first and managed to get his pair of IEs. I bought another pair of IEs to assist Ronald, then we met Daniel and all went to Moore Park for bball, but Derek wanted to come to my house to change first, so we dropped Daniel off first and then went back to my place.

Basketball was good, but it was a bit too windy. As I got warmed up I started hitting my shots, especially when that Bronson guy started encouraging me to shoot, even when he was on the other team. Sometimes I think my confidence problem is so obvious.

After that I went home, had a shower, ate something, then had a nap. I woke up a bit after 4pm, and then thought I should try to see Misha before I went to bball, but the problem was time. In the end, I figured booking for half an hour was the best solution, since that would solve the time issue AND save me some money.

So I booked to see her at 5pm, but when I got there was told to wait 10 minutes, so I went out to find that o-deng place but they weren't selling any, and returned to wait another 10 minutes. When I was called, the guy led me to the room and I waited a few minutes for her. When she came, she said I looked tired. I didn't think I was, and when I told her I was at the casino at 7am she said that was why.

She asked me why I booked only half an hour and asked if it was because I lost all my money lol. I explained that I had basketball and everything else I had done earlier in the day.

I gave her a $100 chip, and she wanted my two $1000 chips but I said I needed it for playing. She wanted to see it so I gave it to her and she started playing with it before I took it back. She told me she didn't end up going last Saturday because her manager wanted her to work as there were bookings. She said she went Sunday after work with two of her friends. She said she lost $2000, her friend lost $1700 and the second friend lost $700.

She told me how I needed to give her $1700 more after this, and I playfully fell down on the bed before sitting back up. Sometimes I'd kiss her on the cheek as we talked.

She told me before I had one foot in it, but now I had both feet in it, referring to my addiction. I joked by saying that I jumped in to save her, which made her laugh. Maybe there was a bit of truth to that.

I told her about how I had seen a Vietnamese lady with $20,000 play $1500-3000 each hand and had a nice streak of six bankers, one player, six bankers, one player. She always seems interested in my stories. Also told her about the Vietnamese guy with the moustache who seemed to have a lot of luck.

We talked about the lotto, and she said a customer told her there was a couple at the casino, a white Australian man and an Asian lady, who had won $200m before. I told her they'd probably lose it all back in 10 years.

I told her again about how I'd give her half of my winnings if I won the lotto, and she asked how I chose the numbers. When I said automatic, she said she'd give me her numbers. She left the room and came back with a pen and paper. She wrote six numbers down. I wrote on that same piece of paper the Korean number linked to my Kakaotalk and ripped it off for her. She asked me why it was different to my phone number and I explained that I created it when I was in Seoul two years ago.

I asked if she wanted to go to the casino that night, but she said she had to work. I suggested after work, but she said it'd be about 1am, then she'd have to go home, remove her make up and everything and by then it'd be too late. I also asked why she didn't invite me on Sunday and she said because it was late and that she knew I'd have to work.

When time was up, she said she really wanted to go but had work. I asked her to kiss me on the cheeks for good luck and she did.

Then I headed off to pick Daniel up for bball.

When a smile makes up for all the losses...

Started out today with a sneaker raffle in the city. I went to the George St one, had ticket number 20 and there were probably around 20-30 people there, but the tickets looked like they went up to around 40-50.

I didn't get picked for a while and it was looking slim, but then ended up getting picked towards the end. I thought my sizes would be gone, and wasn't even sure if there'd be any left as many people were buying both the 11 low Crocs and the 6 low Seahawks. To my surprise, I managed to get size 9 for both pairs, and left a very happy man.

I went to Macca's for breakfast and then went into the office to do some work. I admired the shoes for a bit before settling in and getting some work done. For some reason I was much more efficient working on the weekend than on a normal weekday.

After I got my work done, I decided to go to the casino. I planned to win $200 and go, and on my first hand I was up $100 but thereafter just kinda floated around break even. I lost my first $2000 and then went to withdraw the next $2000. I actually managed to catch up about $1000 but then ended up losing it in the end too. I didn't lose all of it as I needed to see Misha, so probably saved about $500.

I had $75 in betting money left when I decided to have a go at roulette, and won a bit back, hence the $500. I thought I saw Julie working on a roulette table near the veranda area, and kept stealing glances at her. I noticed she was wearing a skirt, whereas she normally wears pants. For some reason it made me jealous, and then I realised how fucked up my thinking was.

But then, when I was heading over to the cashier, I looked at the dealers working the computer roulette and baccarat, and saw her there! The other girl must've been the Julie look-alike - there's one girl who looks like her but the steroids version.

Anyway, I was still standing at the roulette tables looking at her, and it seemed like she was looking at me. I decided to walk in her direction to the cashier, and as I was approaching behind her, I kept looking at her to see if she'd look at me, at least out of the corner of her eye. At the very last moment before I passed the back of her, she turned and we looked at each other. I smiled and she smiled back.

All of a sudden, that took the shittiness feeling from losing my money away. I was so warm inside and smiling to myself as I made my way to the cashier. Even after pocketing my money and walking towards the exit I was still smiling. Then, it happened again - apparently she had just finished her shift and was walking towards the dealers rest room, and so we crossed paths again. I smiled and she smiled again.

I just kinda shook my head and laughed to myself as I walked out of the casino.

I went back to the office to pick up my shoes, and did it in such a rush I only realised I had left my keys there by the time I got home. I had already made an appointment to see Misha, and thought I might as well go see her lugging the two pairs of shoes. At least it'd give me something to talk about and show her.

So I was waiting at the bus stop, but also keeping an eye out for anyone who might be leaving or entering my place so I could at least drop the shoes through my window. After a while I saw a neighbour walking home and so I followed him and went upstairs. I slipped the shoes into my parents' bedroom and then headed back out to the city.

After I got off the bus, I went to a newsagency to buy a lotto ticket, just for fun. Then as I was walking to the shop, I passed what looked like a street food stand and went to check it out. Turns out it was a Korean place and they sold o-deng, and I quickly bought one to try. It was pretty good, and I gobbled it up as I made my way to the shop.

This time the nice receptionist guy talked to me as I was waiting for Misha, just about the industry and shit as I mentioned to him about how private girls advertise on wechat for like $400/hour and use fake photos.

Anyway, Misha came out and we went to a room upstairs. We went into a room with shitty lights, and she asked me about the casino. I told her I had already been and lost about $2000, and she said she was expecting me to go at night so we could go together.

Go...together?!

Anyway, I showed her the $25 and $100 chips I had saved and then put one in each hand behind my back, then showed her my closed fists asking her to pick one. She picked the left one and I thought that had the $25 in it, and I kept asking her if she was sure. She was adamant and when I revealed it I was quite shocked to see it was the $100 chip as she laughed.

She wanted to change rooms as the lights weren't working and so we moved to the room next door. She went and got coffees and brought back her poker set again. She had me pull out my $100 note and she put down five $20 notes, and wanted to play baccarat for money. Initially I didn't like the idea, but then thought, what the fuck, I had already lost so much.

We played using the poker set chips and I lost the first shoe of cards. She said she felt lucky and so needed to go to the casino tonight. In the second shoe I won, and after that we were calculating how much we had each and turned out we had the exact same number of chips lol. She kept wondering how that happened, and I didn't know either, but it was pretty amazing.

We played a third shoe, which I lost, and I just thought "goddamn, I lost money at the casino, paid for this one hour visit, gave her a $100 chip, AND lost another $100 to her in baccarat". She wanted to bet for my $25 chip as well, and I didn't want to but she insisted. So I did, then I won. Then she upped it to $50 and I won that too. We kept playing for money and I ended up winning not only my money back, but her $100 as well haha.

The buzzer went and I gave her her money back. I asked if she wanted to go to the casino tonight and asked what time, and she asked me to write my number down in this little book she had, which I did.

Oh my god, you're about to get Misha's number if she contacts you!

I showed her the lotto ticket and told her I'd give her half if I won, and she wanted me to write that in the book as well lol. I told her to trust me and she did.

As we walked downstairs she asked me to carry the poker set for her which I did. I then left the shop, thinking about whether she'd actually meet me at the casino tonight.

Gave banana chips to Misha

Late yesterday afternoon I began thinking about seeing Misha. I had actually considered seeing Jane, as I hadn't really had sex for a long time and was feeling it. But the possibility of Misha finding out was too much. I felt like I had made a lot of progress with her, and one stupid move would ruin everything. Even though she says I can see other girls, I'm not sure she'd actually feel ok if she knew, especially if it was from the same shop.

So in the end I booked her for an hour, After work I went to Woolies to find a bag of banana chips but couldn't find any. I then went to an Asian supermarket and found it there. Problem was, even at 300g, it was quite sizeable and so I didn't have anywhere to hide it.

I caught a bus down there and when I neared the shop, I tucked it into the waist area of my suit jacket. 

The receptionist was the tall, less friendly one. I gave him $220 and he gave me back $20 as it was only $200 for cheap Tuesday. I was surprised, thinking even if I had made an error, he'd be the type of person to keep it.

I waited a good five minutes before I heard heels walking out, and I saw her in the usual spot in the hallway. Immediately she put her hands out to ask for something. I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about until we got into the room and she closed the door.

We sat down on the bed and I asked her to close her eyes as I had a present for her. She refused to at first and then later did it. I tried to build up the suspense, by telling her we had known each other for a long time, and that she always treated me nice, and she agreed with both, and then I said so because of that I got her some banana chips. I pulled it out and she opened her eyes, and when she saw it she burst out laughing lol.

She found it pretty funny, and what I found funnier was she actually opened the pack to make sure they were really banana chips in there and not casino chips lol. She started eating them and I did too, as we both talked.

I told her about my visits to the casino the night before and that morning. I told her everything, all the stories about the noob dealer, how when everyone bet on player which had a total of two, and banker had three with the third card unknown and someone yelled out "picture" and the lady next to me turned around and said "who the fuck said picture?" lol. That still cracks me up when I think about it now.

I also told her about yesterday morning when I went, how the two Chinese big players didn't like people betting against them. The only thing I lied about was I said I lost $1000 each time, whereas I had actually lost $4000 :(

She said in a passing remark that I'd never be able to buy a property, and she was right.

I said we both needed to quit together, and she said she could buy a property in Korea right now. I joked that we should both move back to Korea now, and she asked if we'd open our own baccarat place lol.

I found out from her that the drinks offered at the baccarat tables were actually free! Far out, all this time I thought they would cost something.

She asked me when I would be going next and I said Saturday. I asked if she wanted to go and she said she must work on weekends as part of some agreement with the shop.

She asked if my parents knew about my gambling and I said no. We talked about how it wouldn't look good for my work, and I asked if her work knew. She said of course, adding that sometimes "they borrow money from me", though I'm not sure if she meant that she borrows money from them. 

After sitting there for a while eating banana chips and after she'd gone and gotten us two cups of coke, she said she was tired and wanted to lie down so we laid down with me holding her and we talked. We joked about going to the casino with these banana chips and throwing it onto the table as if they were real casino chips lol. She found that really funny.

Do I really want to be with a gambler? (Misha)

Yesterday I dropped $4000 at the casino. What was most frustrating was I (like most other times) had a chance to leave with a gain, but I got greedy and kept playing. I had lost my initial $2000 without ever being up, so got another $2000 and used to to fight my way back to a $300 gain. And from there, I lost it all back. That brought my total loss for the month to about  $7900.

Horrible.

I felt like shit, but decided to see Misha, even though I told myself I'd see her when I fully recovered from my flu, which I hadn't. I was still coughing every now and then, but at least the leaking nose had stopped.

I hadn't seen her for about two weeks, which seemed so long. I guess I was starting to miss her. I wondered if she felt the same.

When she greeted me in the hallway, she said she knew it was me. As we walked towards the room at the back, she said she had been thinking about me. Once in the room, she said she went to the casino on Thursday night and was looking for me. I told her I don't go on Thursdays as I have basketball. Sometimes when I see the shop post the roster on Wechat, and when I don't see her listed, I always wonder if she's at the casino, and if so, whether she would try looking for me. Guess that answered that.

She mentioned again how once she was told of a booking today, she had a feeling it was me. She asked me about the casino, and I lied and said I hadn't been today. I lied again by saying I had made back all of my earlier $7000 loss except for $600, which would've been true had it been a week earlier. I told her $600 was easy to get and she seemed to disagree with me. I think she was right. I had lost all perspective now. When $100 or $200 seems like nothing, you know you've lost it.

She went out to get some drinks and came back with two cups of coke. She told me when she went to the casino she had $5000 and lost about $3000. She said she really wanted to go play and get it back. I jokingly asked if she wanted to go tomorrow, or the next week, or the week after. But she seemed like she wanted to go tonight, though I insisted I couldn't go tonight (because I had already made the withdrawal limit).

I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie next time as I could bring my computer, and she asked which one and I told her 21. She knew what it was about but said she hadn't seen it. I wondered if I had told her about it before. I started explaining to her how blackjack works and she asked me to wait while she went out. I assumed she went to get a pack of cards, but to my surprise she came back with a full poker set lol.

I asked if it was hers and she asked me why I wanted to know. Anyway, she pulled out the cards and some chips, and we played blackjack for a bit. After that she re-arranged things and we played baccarat with her being dealer lol. It was fun, but at the same time, I saw how obsessed she was with gambling, and it kinda scared me. But then again, aren't I like that?

Afterwards we laid down on the bed and I held her as we talked. Maybe it was because I was sick, but I wasn't very talkative and didn't have much in mind to say, though with her conversation just seems to flow. I told her about how some players move their chips onto the betting area and don't let go as they stare intently on the screen, which made her laugh as she said she does the same thing lol.

We talked about the people at the casino, because she said she saw the girl I asked out, but I told her I'm pretty sure it's the other 'Julie' that she's talking about. There are actually two Julies, and the other one is, as Misha has suggested before, kinda rude. She doesn't have any expressions on her face and doesn't talk. I told her this Julie was married, and she asked me how I knew. I said she had a ring on her wedding finger, which then prompted her (on top of me mentioning earlier that there were two gay supervisors) to ask me why I bother learning about their personal lives when I should just be there trying to win. She had a point.

I told her the new casino would be opening in 2019 and she said she didn't even know what she would be doing then. I jokingly said I'd be driving, she'd be next to me, and our kid would be in the back, and we'd go to yum cha. She didn't seem like she liked yum cha.

As I held her I would sometimes kiss her on the cheek or forehead. When I joked about seeing another girl, she didn't say anything. I wonder if those types of jokes were getting stale. Or maybe we have moved to the stage where she wouldn't like it if I saw someone else?

Before the buzzer went, she told me the hour was up. I kissed her on the cheek at the door before I left, and as we walked down the hallway she asked me why I didn't shave. I just asked if she didn't like it, and she didn't seem to respond.

Blunch with Ele, Yang and Eva

On Friday I started to get sick during work, I could just feel a cold coming. I had planned to go to the gym but was now having second thoughts.

Anyway, after work I went to the casino, won some money, returned to the office to change and then went to the gym. I was sick, but the thought of Richard cutting me from the team motivated me. It was a good work out, as Fridays usually are since the gym is pretty empty.

On Saturday morning before the Jordan 9 Anthracite raffle I went to the casino. I won some money and then headed to the raffle, only to see no one was there. It was obvious this shoe wouldn't be too popular. I was still tempted to buy it, because, as stupid as it sounds, I had put my name down for a raffle ticket. It was almost as if I felt obliged to buy it, compelled to buy it, just because I had in some way said I'd buy it by getting a raffle ticket. I told myself not to be stupid and save the $220 and went home.

I basically played video games and slept all day before heading out to basketball. My cold had gotten worse, but Richard would be there and I was looking forward to playing against him. I wasn't going to mention I was sick so I wouldn't have an excuse, but when I picked Daniel up one of the first things he detected was that I was sick.

Anyway, basketball didn't go as planned since from the beginning Richard asked me to be on his team. We won two games in a row, but it just wasn't fun. I felt obligated to play the way they want to play, by dishing it into the post and submitting to the others on the team. We lost the third game because I didn't get out to Sam who hit a flukey three, and I felt Samir blamed me for it.

Maybe it was a good thing because it gave me an excuse not to play on their team afterwards. When I did play against them I was extra motivated, trying to go for steals off Richard. The last game was pretty uneven, where it was them versus me, Kevin and some small guys, and we won by speed, which was really satisfying. For some reason Richard's team doesn't like to run.

Afterwards Daniel, Mark, Jun, Kevin and I went to eat at our usual place in Burwood. After that when I was walking to the car with Daniel, he told me something really weird and random - that he had a fantasy of raping a girl. He said he'd never do it, and I believe him, but just seemed like a very strange thing to say. He was also asking me how I was able to remain calm all the time and deal with my anger, as he said he was a very angry person at work.

Today I went to the casino in the morning. Again I saw that Vietnamese looking lady who is super talkative. I tried not to make eye contact but after a while we made eye contact and just acknowledged each other. I overheard her saying she has a six year old son. Anyway, I won $500 and got the fuck out of there.

I went to meet Eva, Ele and her husband for blunch at a cafe in Surry Hills. It was super annoying because it was organised to meet at 11am. I got there on time and no one was there. Eva said she'd be 20 minutes, and Ele said she'd be 10 minutes. Eva asked me to take a ticket because there were many people waiting, which I did.

I felt uneasy, as it reminded me of the times my mum would leave me in the shopping line while she went to do something else, and I was always freaking out about what to do if I got to the front of the line without any money. And sure enough, it happened, when my name was called and I had to tell the waitress my friends hadn't arrived yet. At least my mum always made it back in time.

So in effect, I was there to do all the waiting for them. Ele and her husband arrived first, and then Eva arrived a whole 40 minutes later. Whilst I used to feel sorry for her after the divorce, I could now start to sense how Michael got annoyed with her.

The blunch went ok, but in the beginning I felt like I didn't have much in common with Ele anymore. I think I made a social faux pax when I told them G was being a cheap skate by making flowers for his girlfriend instead of buying them, and I noticed Ele looked at Yang - that was when I thought, shit, maybe he had done the same when courting her.

I also mentioned the casino when we talked about Chinese people and money. I said I had been with my friend, and Ele glanced over at me as she was eating, and her first question was "wow you went to the casino? Was that your first time?" I wondered if she was being sarcastic and whether she knew more than she was letting on. I explained I go sometimes with my friend who plays black jack, then proceeded to tell her the time I saw a guy lose like $15,000 at baccarat.

After the blunch I went to Market City to get some moon cake, and then met up with G at the shopping centre near me for a drink and catch up. I felt a bit guilty because he bought me a drink, even though I insisted. We talked a bit about his current girlfriend, and he admitted that he doesn't really seem to click with her but is just "content" with her, like how I said I was with Jenny.

I did some grocery shopping with him, then came home and played video games. I made myself an instant noodle for dinner, the same type that Misha had made me about a week ago. I ate it thinking of her. I still remember her pronouncing it as "cinnamon" and me thinking what the fuck lol. Also I was thinking about how near the end of our session, she was taking the bowl back out, and I called her "chogiyo" (meaning waiter/waitress in Korean), and she playfully pretended to throw the stuff at me lol.

Ah Misha.