She's 36!

Yesterday I walked to work, didn't see her. Selfish me is saying this is because I ignored her and then didn't show up on Thursday, but I'm sure I'll see her again.

Work was ok, I didn't mean it at first, but ended up not talking or seeing Nunjo for the whole day. At first, I just got there before she did, and by the time she got in, I was already busy working. But as the day went on, I somehow grew angrier and angrier about her rejecting me. That was when I made a conscious decision not to approach her in her room.

In the afternoon I went to Genie's room for a chat, and as I left, I started to walk back to my room, when I realised I was holding my glass and that I had come for water as well. So I changed directions and went into the kitchen, but at that very moment, Nunjo was approaching, and it seemed like I was avoiding her.

Later, I sent an email around to my team and Stevie G with a funny image about what people thought about lawyers. The only reply I got was from Stevie G. I thought at least Nunjo would reply.

Fine, fuck off then.

At around 4:30pm, Mary started talking to me and brought up the fact that I come in on the weekends. I wonder who told her, grrrr. She teased me and joked Ogre should take me out, and then walked to Nunjo's room and said she should take me out. I deliberately stayed out of sight and said "nah I prefer Ogre so she can help me in a fight". So we wandered back to Ogre's room and Nunjo had come around.

This started a bit of a group discussion, and Nunjo mentioned she was going out for drinks now and asked me to come. I took it as just some sort of passing remark and ignored it, but she repeated it. She went looking for Caroline but she wasn't there and then she went to her room and came back with her things.

She again said she was going for drinks and asked me to come. I was hesitant, but she repeated it a few more times. Since Moira was in, I thought I'd tag along for a group thing.

I said I'd meet Nunjo and Christina there, and Moira and I packed up our things and then headed over together. We went upstairs in the Civic where Chanda was calling us. She had ordered some food and I bought Moira a drink. We then went to find Christina and Nunjo in the outsider area.

We sat down and talked about apps and Moira's blog for a while, before we were ushered inside because a function had been booked there.

This was when we started talking about the job interviews. I didn't think they'd talk about the questions, but a few slips came out, like "how do you manage change" and "Della Rosa". There was a bit of a bitch session from Christina about the past, how Michael and why Michael was removed (Jim deemed him to be having too much fun, too long lunches) and why DS was removed (seemingly inappropriate relationship with Eliza). She also talked about what led to Melanie's departure (basically got screwed over by a change of decision higher up, and she didn't make file notes of it), which made me realise how temporary things are in this office.

Moira then left, so it was just the four of us. Nunjo suggested we go for dinner, and I asked what, Christina said Korean, so I went. We went to a small place upstairs near our office. It was quite cozy. I went to the bathroom first and returned to the table to see that I'd be sitting next to Chanda and opposite Nunjo. I wondered if that was deliberate? Nah. I did notice in the office that she seemed to be wearing something a bit more revealing - a red top which showed cleavage.

I suppose if their plan was to have a night out, then it's understandable why she'd dress up. But why bring me along? Was this a plan?

Anyway, back at the bar Chris had started asking me about my relationship history. I stuck with the old Emily story, and said I had one about five years ago. She now continued her interrogation. She asked me how long we went out for, I said about six months. She asked me how it ended. By now I was pretty damn uncomfortable. I said she ended up with another guy, and a table of sighs let out. Not that I cared anymore since it was so long ago.

Christina said something about that being my only relationship, and said I was "ripe for the picking". I wondered if she said that in the context of Nunjo. She asked more questions but I started diverting.

I also found out that she actually used to play basketball, so I talked about having a wager on an around the world shootout. Chanda wanted in, but I doubted her claim that she used to play as well. I showed them a photo of my Kainan team. Nunjo had a look as well. Not surprisingly, they remarked how big Nick was. I then told Christina about the angry Korean guy (One) on my Wednesday night team and showed her a photo of his team. Nunjo looked at it and asked where I was - sign?

The dinner was kinda fun, if they weren't colleagues I probably would've let loose a bit more. Christina ordered this watermelon cocktail, and I took sips of it as the night went on. Then there was a point where we had to see who was the last to scull - it was me of course, I didn't even try. Even though the amount of alcohol could barely be detected by my taste buds, I still wasn't comfortable doing a shot. Last thing I wanted was a headache the next day.

We talked about Nunjo a bit. Chanda asked her how old she was. She said 36.

THIRTY SIX?!?!?!?!?


I couldn't believe it. I felt kinda like I had been sold a lemon. I said "Mary said you were 32". I actually said that twice. That was how shocked I was. She is 36...turning 37 on 27th June.

She is 7 years older than me.

I didn't know whether I was logically turned off or if I should feel like a fool.

Looking back, a lot of things seem to make more sense. Picture someone who looked more like 36, and me asking her out. The bringing along someone else was a mature response. The smiling when I asked if she wanted to go car hunting together was a mature response. I was asking a 36 year old out.

She must see me as just a boy.

I didn't really know what to say or how to feel after that. From that point on, I seemed to notice more wrinkles around her eyes as she smiled. I studied her face, thinking she looked quite young for someone who was 36.

Christina suggested they go out for a smoke so there was a bit of talk about that. Christina said she had quit for a while, and thinks she can quit whenever she wants. Nunjo, on the other hand, said she never thought about quitting. I wondered why I liked her at all - she seems reckless about her body, doesn't seem to have any stable goals, separated parents.

While they were away I made chit chat with Chanda. When they came back we talked a bit more, had a bit of a whinge about Mario being lazy.

I was a bit sad when they suggested we call it a night. I had planned to go to the gym, but really had nothing else to do. When we parted, I heard Chanda say goodluck to Nunjo. She walked off with Christina and I walked with Chanda. I asked her what that was about and she said Nunjo has a job interview on Monday for a LAC job in Dubbo.

I went back to the office to change. Instead of catching the bus, I walked home to digest the night.

Today, I went into the office at around noon and saw Ogre there. She left at 3pm and I worked till 7pm. As I summarised the evidence for Christina's trial, I kept thinking about Nunjo. I thought about her leaving this place. Logically, I suppose that would be a good thing for me. It'd force her out of my mind, and it'd open up a space for me.

I have to forcefully pull her out of my mind.

Monica / Casino celebration

On Thursday I left home at about 6:40am, drove to Chinksford Macca's to get some breakfast, and then made my way to Maitland. I wondered if my car would break down with an overheating engine, and wondered what would happen to the list if that happened.

Anyway, got there without any problems, but just right on time. The court doors were open by the time I got there, but luckily the mag hadn't started yet.

The whole list went ok, it would've been quick had a lawyer not stood a matter down to 2pm and then turned up at 3:15pm.

The drive back was tiring as usual. I got back to the office by abotu 6ish. Claire saw me as I was taking the suitcase out of my car, and we talked a bit about her matter. I went into the office and only Paul was around. I worked out my finances and then left the office with Paul. We had a bit of a chat about my list and the Mag. Turns out he remembers her from a while ago. He didn't even know we still had lists at Maitland. Geez he must do some high level stuff to not even know that. He actually seems like quite a nice guy, don't know why all the fear and fuss about him.

I decided to go see Hannah/Monica. On the drive there, my car started overheating. I parked in front of the shop and went in. I used my loyalty card to get an extra half hour so paid $180 for 90 minutes. It's a bit of a rip off when you think about it - I had to pay an extra $15, and the credit I got for booking an hour was 0.01 - wtf?

I was led to a large room in the extended building area and waited. I thought about getting undressed first but then wondered what if she had changed her name and Monica was now someone else?

Anyway, she hadn't changed her name and she showed up. The first thing she said was "it's not five months yet?" lol. Gotta give it to her for memory.

We had a shower first while she filled up the spa with water. After the shower, she suggested a massage first so I got on the table. We talked a bit at first and then I just rested, enjoying the silence. After a while she asked me to turn around. I was a bit sleepy and my eyes were half closed. She asked me if I was sleepy and I said yes. She said she could fall asleep in two minutes, and I was like "really?" and she said yes, and I asked if she would like to try.

I laid out my left arm and she laid down on it next to me. I held her as she closed her eyes and rested. I laid there, trying to fall asleep but couldn't. I was wondering if this was going to lead to sex. It didn't. She asked if I wanted to get into the spa and I said I liked the way we were. So we were like that for a while more before she checked the time, then started massaging me and giving me my 'happy ending'.

Then she asked me to go to the spa so I did. It felt ok, I'm not really a spa person. It got really hot and so after a while I got out and showered. I got changed and left. I think this is going nowhere. Maybe I should start seeing someone else.

I decided to let my car cool down some more and walked to the casino. It was pay day, I had just reached the mile stone of paying off my credit card debt, so I wanted to celebrate.

I exchanged $100 in $25 chips and played colours/columns. I tied on the first two rounds, lost on the third, and finally lost on the next. I bet on black and third column, and it landed on red 34. You know that's next to black 6 right? Fuck.

I walked back to my car, feeling really stupid, then drove home with no more engine problems.

Shoyo 0-0-1

In the morning I saw her on my walk to work again. I still felt a bit rejected from her no look the other day, so I decided to give it back, so when I saw her I just looked straight ahead.

I spent Wednesday preparing for my list the next day, but there were only 11 matters so that didn't take too long. I probably could've sat in for Chris in her trial, but it would've rushed things, particularly since two people pretty much forgot they had files in the list.

In the afternoon we had a CLE. I hadn't really spoken to Nunjo much throughout the day, but just before the CLE I walked past her room. I had semi intentions to ask her if she was going, but when I looked in, she was sitting facing me sipping away on her Solo with a straw. So I asked her if she was going and she said yes.

Mary came around and I asked if she was going, and I got the sense that she didn't like the speaker and she wasn't going. Genie, Clare and I went out the door first, while Nunjo spoke to Mary. I forgot my glasses and had to go get them, so I went back in. Nunjo said she wasn't going anymore, and I was like like "ok" and went to get my glasses and left again.

I sat next to Clare during the talk. Once or twice she'd lean over and whisper something to me. I couldn't help but secretly enjoy it, even though I knew she saw me as nothing more than a friendly colleague. I caught Katie looking at me once or twice. I found myself asking "why? Why the hell do you look at me if you are not interested and after all this time? Why?!?!?"

After that I went to meet Ele. We walked down the main street together to Central, and we discussed our business idea. She made some minor changes to my ideas, and we agreed that she'd look into the financial situation and get back to me. I wonder how serious this could get. I did notice one thing - as we stood at the station talking, she noticed a string of material coming loose from my suit and tried to pick it off. I remember reading that when women are interested in a guy, they will try to groom them.

Also, I told her that I thought there was no point in franchising because at best you're only ever going to be as good as the original. She said that's why she liked me, because I have a smart brain. The look in her eyes seemed to suggest she was under some sort of trance by me. I wished I could correct her - I'm not as smart as she thinks :( Now I feel like a phoney.

I had to rush off because I had basketball. I went back to the office to get the suitcase. Bo asked me to print something for basketball, but didn't include the attachment, so I just left and went home. I changed and then drove out to basketball.

I saw One and his friend Alex there, then everyone else started arriving. I didn't really want to start as I didn't want to get too involved with this team, but Jim was submissive and didn't want to start, so I did.

We weren't doing too bad - One's Alex was pretty good, and Bo seemed to have made his return without missing a beat. Nick came sometime during the first half and Dunnycan came later. I felt that Nick, as useful as his size is, seemed to slow our scoring down a bit. Or maybe it was just because One's Alex came off.

We had to do duty as well, which was a bit weird. I did it for a stint, and a girl from the other team was doing the buttons. I had a few words with her, and wondered if I could steal her from the other team.

Despite having told myself not to get too involved with this team, I found myself getting pretty competitive and wanting to win. Late in the second half, it became a close game after they caught up a bit. I told Asian Alex to go on for Mike. Mike was inbounding. Asian Alex called out to him and Mike waved him off. Asian Alex came back to the bench and I gave him a "wtf" look.

Later when Mike came off, I said to him "never wave off a team mate". He started explaining why he did it which seemed to be along the lines of "I didn't do it", and I didn't want to argue during the game so I just said "don't worry, don't worry". I actually meant, don't worry, it's not an issue for me, but he took it as me shutting him down, so he said "fuck it". I didn't say anything back but I could feel the separation between us.

I felt he was really different that night, he was louder and more aggressive towards the refs. I thought he was quite arrogant that night. I wondered if getting a job had given him a big head.

We drew the game, and Nick stormed off. Mike and Asian Alex were shooting together which I didn't like. Maybe I'm jealous that Mike has a new buddy, or maybe I don't like the fact that they conspire together to come up with new plays that only involves them two without telling the rest of the team.

I left them without saying anything and spent a bit of time outside talking to One, his Alex and Jim. It was then that I realised one thing - One actually wants to help the team. If you look at his messages, they are directed at helping the team. It's just the way the messages are delivered which may offend people. This is in contrast to others on the team who only think about themselves.

I drove home, wanting to get to bed early as I didn't want to wake up late the next day.

It's back on?

Funny, this morning I turned on the tv and was half watching Sunrise as I got changed. They were talking about Prince Harry and how he seemed to be re-igniting flames with an ex. I thought about why people get back together when they have made a conscious decision to split, and also about how there would've been so many takers out there for him - why go back to her?

I walked to work, and saw her at the bit just before the pedestrian crossing, which was unfortunate. I saw another girl in front of her and told myself not to look at her, but I did. Anyway, I looked at 'her' after that, and she just looked down. No eye contact today :(

I felt disappointed as I walked the rest of the way to work.

I was quite productive at work today. I prepared my files for tomorrow and Wednesday, then throughout the day sporadically continued summarising the transcript for Chris as I juggled other tasks. After 5pm, I continued with the summarising and finished at close to 8pm. Finally sent it to Chris. Glad to get the dust off my hands on that.

Earlier in the afternoon, Genie came to tell me about her trial turning into a plea, then Melissa came around with Fiona and told us Fiona was pregnant. The girls had their usual screaming reaction, while I just smiled and said congratulations. More importantly, who the hell knew she was married or had a boyfriend???

At around 5pm, I went to ask Nunjo if Chris was around our corner to see me. She said she didn't know, that Chris was about to talk to her about her preparing for her job interview then her phone rang and she started speaking Korean. I asked her how her preparation was going, and she revealed that she was going for a permanent position, and she'd probably leave if she didn't get it. She said she applied for a job at LAC out at Dubbo. Geez.

Anyway, we somehow got talking about her wanting to buy a car. She said she went car shopping yesterday and was looking to buy a new car. I was trying to talk her out of it, saying it was better to buy second hand. Clare joined in but didn't help because she said she preferred to buy new cars. However, she did say "you should take [insert name here] with you". Hmmm.

Earlier I had joked with Nunjo that she should take Chris with her as she'd be a hard bargainer. Then a bit further on, when I suggested police auctions, Nunjo said she should take me along. Hmmmmmmm.

Mary joined in later on and then Nunjo's phone rang, so we all parted. I went back to my room. I thought, damn, I should've taken up that lead. I better say something when she's leaving.

So when Nunjo came round to say bye, I said "hey if you want, I can tag along next time you go" and she gave me a big smile. Mary came around and asked what we were talking about, Nunjo told her, and Mary said that was a good idea (phew!). Nunjo kept smiling.

Smile? SMILE?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN???

Kainan: 8-1

On Thursday I saw her during my walk. This was around the under the trees area, closer to the end of the path. She looked at me and when I looked back, she looked down.

I saw her again on Friday, but as I left home late, I saw her at the corner where I turn off the main road. I smiled a bit, but I think she sun may have been in her eyes. She did look up in my direction, but then looked down.

Friday was a little bit of a stressful day. Just a little bit. I had to get those documents sworn before a mag, and when the cop Greg arrived at 12:30pm, I was still printing off some documents I needed to amend. So as he and Mary talked outside my office, I ran in and out to get print outs from the photocopier.

Finally we made our way there. I asked the difficult looking old lady for the appointment, and she directed us to the registrar at first, where we figured out that she couldn't do it, then sent us back to the difficult looking old lady, where she said it was a different Mag because the one we made an appointment with had gone home.

The new Mag was one I knew because I had been before him once or twice, and he was a grumpy bastard. So on top of the new experience of getting something sworn before a Mag, I now had the added nervousness of getting a grumpy Mag.

Greg and I sat in the 'waiting area' for a bit before we were called in. It was pretty amazing to walk through the corridors. I don't think I'll ever get to do this again. I saw Mag Gilmour say "this place smells like a hospital" lol. We were shown to the Mag's room and I half expected him to yell at us, but he seemed quite polite in inviting us in.

As he read through the documents, Greg and I sat at his desk in silence. Whenever he asked us to swear and sign, it felt like Greg and I were getting married and signing the official documents, haha.

There was a point where a cofficer came and interrupted us to get the Mag to correct something. He was like "let me read it, oh yeah, I remember this, I had to go to the toilet when I did this" - LOL!

The whole process took about 45 minutes. I wondered if he was upset about missing his lunch. I still could not believe I was behind the walls of the courtroom, I just never thought I'd be able to see all this! I swear, this job really has gotten me places. Now I've been in a Judge's and a Mag's chambers.

I was so relieved when we finished, but I knew things were too easy. The difficult looking old lady, before letting us go, said she had to stamp the documents, so Greg and I sat down and waited. She then asked me where the extradition warrant was.

The wha?


I said we didn't need one. She said we did. Apparently the Mag called and asked for it. I said we'd go back to our office to check, so Greg and I went to see Mary, where we called up Head Office and they said we didn't need one. We returned to the difficult looking old lady and told her. She took our word for it and returned the documents to us.

Yes!


I went back to the office, relieved. That's it, I was gonna tank it for the rest of the day. This was too much weight off my shoulders. I had my late lunch and then ended up meeting up with Ele after work.

We were going to meet anyway, but Colin sent an email asking if we wanted to go out for dinner. Ele said she was cooking at home and invited us. So I met her at Woolies and we did some shopping together. I think people thought we were a couple doing grocery shopping. I swear I get so many looks from women when I'm with a girl - social proofing at its finest.

After that we caught the train to her place. She said she wanted us to be alone so she could tell me her idea. I could tell she was eager to tell me, yet she didn't want to blurt it out in this semi-packed train. She typed something on her mobile and showed me - it was like "staff discounts" or something. She asked if I knew what she was talking about and I said no.

When we walked out of the station, I asked her. She told me about her idea - basically a website connecting shoppers with people who have access to staff discounts. I liked the basic gist of it but was having trouble figuring the logistics of it in my head. I asked her questions and she seemed like she had given it some thought, but some parts still needed figuring out, like how to reward the people with the staff discounts.

When we got to her place, I could smell some nice cooking. It was Yang. Apparently he had left his job at DJ's and Ele said he was working for some relative's company and that she'd tell me about it next time.

I didn't really know what to do as they cooked. Luckily Yang turned the PS3 on so I played soccer until Colin arrived. A bit later Vivian and Daniel arrived and then we started eating. Maybe it's just me, but I never really like home cooking of someone else, so I didn't eat much. Besides, I could still feel my late lunch.

After dinner, Colin, Daniel and I started playing blackjack while watching Transformers 2. Ele and Vivian were painting their nails. Yang had gone to play soccer. Evonne came home later, and apparently she has a boyfriend now (who according to Ele started working at 13 and is now 25 and is about to buy a property, I wonder how much of those were lies just to get the girl). Colin spotted Evonne crying at one stage, Ele said it was because her boyfriend's grandparent had died...a bit distant, no?

Anyway, during blackjack Colin said he could smell my socks. I knew it. I thought about buying a pair after work, because I was wearing my long sports socks, but I smelled them before and couldn't smell anything, so didn't. Stupid Colin.

We played until like 11:30pm, then left. Yang drove Colin and I to the train station. My train was already there so I said bye to Colin and left.

Saturday
Plan was to shoot around on the courts then get to the office. I shot around a bit (bit chilly in the morning btw), just doing a bit of running, trying to get my legs prepared for the game the next day, but when I returned home I ended up bumming around and then napping.

I got to the office at like 3pm, and continued summarising the transcripts for Chris. I worked until 7pm then went to JB Hi-fi to try to look for Wolf Creek, because we had been talking about it the night before. The shop was closed, so I just walked home. It was dark by the time I got to the area under the trees, so was kinda scary.

Today
I went to the courts to shoot around. I mainly wanted to film myself running to see how fast I could run. When I got home to watch it quickly, I realised that I actually still run pretty fast, although I don't jump as high on my lay ups as I would like. Oh, and my cross over looks ok, but need to get more comfortable with it so I can extend the range of the fake.

I went home to have a shower, then went out to Central to meet Nick. We caught the train out together. I was a little afraid we'd have nothing to talk about without Bo, but it was cool, we talked about his trip to the US, his work, my work and our last bball game.

We played the old Veterans today. It was me, Nick, Mike, Carter, Alex and MJ. The game before ours started late, so we sat around and watched. I filmed a bit in case we play that team in the playoffs.

When we started our game, the cheating was immediate - the guy tipped the ball during the jump ball as the ball was on the way up and there was no call. Far out.

Anyway, we took the lead after a slightly slow start and never really looked back. The only complication was in the second half, when the fat black ref suddenly stopped the game and started pointing at MJ/Alex/Nick. I thought "oh my god, what has Nick done now?" but apparently he was pointing at Alex and telling him to get off the court for five minutes for talking.

WTF to that.

And then shortly after, he stopped the game again and called out MJ for talking.

WTF x 2.

I called a time out and told everyone he's gonna find any remote reason to make a call against us, so let's not give it to him. Then we just continued smashing them.

I scored four points. One was a fast break where Mike hit the ball ahead and I did a one handed lay up. The other was also a fastbreak where Carter passed it to me and I made the bucket.

I had another fastbreak, where I caught the pass up ahead and was about to pass it to Mike but there was a defender between us so I went for the lau up which went in and out. Luckily Mike finished it off. After the game, Mike said he saw that I was about to give him a fancy pass, like an And1 pass, he said I had that look on my eye, lol. I did.

We won 67-29 and sat around for a while before deciding to go eat. Jim showed up from the wedding he went to - I like that dedication.

Alex, Mike, Nick, Jim and I went to eat at Berala. The restaurant was pretty packed and the service was crap. We had to wait a bit for our food, and Jim had to ask them a second time when it took unusually long for his to come. He's funny, he insisted we didn't give them a tip, lol.

After that Mike dropped Nick and I off at the train station and we went back to the city. He said he was going to look for a new job, and I went into the office to continue summarising the transcripts. I saw Melissa in there, she said she'd been there since 11am - it was now close to 3pm.

She left at 5pm and I worked until 6pm and then caught the bus home.

Maybe it's just due to the winning, but I'm really loving my Sunday team right now :)

No her today :(

Forgot to say last night I hurt my shoulder at the gym. I was on the incline, and couldn't find the 10kg weights so used the 15kg instead. I don't think I've ever done 15kg on the incline. Anyway, I did the first set of ten no problems. Second set of eight no problems. Third set of seven...then pushed it to eight, and immediately I felt pain in my left shoulder blade.

I knew I had done something if the pain was immediate. I spent the rest of my session holding it and stretching it.

Oh well, at least now I know what causes that pain - the benchpress.

I was expecting the worst, to be out for Sunday's game, but it actually wasn't too bad today, maybe just a pinch of pain. Phew.

Today I walked to work. Left home at 7:30am on the dot. I kinda woke up late, so had a quick shower and rushed out of the house. I didn't want to see her on that long path under the trees, it just makes things awkward. But as I walked more and more, I still hadn't seen her. I don't think I've ever seen her past the apartments, so when I passed that, my hopes faded dramatically. Disappointed was me.

Today I sat in Chris' trial instructing, spent most of the day playing a video and stopping it or speeding it up whenever Stali wanted. He bought us lunch which was cool.

After work, I was so tired, I just tidied up a bit and then decided to go to the casino to de-stress. I think a lot of stress had been built up during the trial, and I really needed this.

I withdrew $100, with the goal of winning $25 and walking away.

My first and second spins drew, then on the third spin I won $25. Walk away right? Nope. I thought I could do better so continued playing either colour/columns or 1-18/dozens, and was down to just $25. Part of me wanted to just throw it down on a line or something, but logic told me my best chances of coming back were to put it on a colour to try to get back to $50 so I could at least have a chance at colour/column or 1-18/dozens again.

I won on colour so was back on $50. I then bet on red and middle column. I watched the ball drop INTO 15 and had that "ah fuck!" feeling of blowing away $100 and a sudden flow of regret overwhelmed me. The ball then bounced out and dropped to next door - 32.

I won $75, so was back up +$25. Having seen the "devil", I quickly cashed in, took a walk around and then left.

I went back to the office to change, and then went to the gym to cycle and do sit ups but no weights.

The look away

Saw her again today, this time on the path under the trees next to the golf course. As soon as I spotted her from a distance (she always seems to be wearing a white long sleeve top), I couldn't help but gush inside. It was that NTM feeling all over again!

I looked away. I looked down. I glanced back up. As she approached, I quickly stole a glance at her. She was looking at me but then looked down as soon as I looked at her. I had told myself to smile, but I was too nervous, had built this up too much inside me. And the eye contact was way too quick.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow. But it made my day again :)

She looked at me!

Did my usual walk to work today, half expecting to see that attractive chick I see sometimes walking in the opposite direction. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought she was really really really hot. But now, she's just hot. That is still good enough.

Recently I've been stealing a glance at her as we pass, and she never looks at me, so I never thought much of it. I just kinda appreciated, perhaps one-sidedly, this ongoing silent 'relationship' we had - you know, just seeing the other each day at around the same time.

Anyway, today I looked at her and she was already looking at me! She didn't flinch though, just held eye contact. The insecure me thinks it was a "what are you looking at?" look, yet the confident me thinks maybe she wants me to smile? If she didn't like you, why would she seemingly cross over to your side of the road today? I swear she came out from nowhere. I was walking through the apartments, watching two sports cars drive through and then there she was!

Ah I was so happy. That was enough to make my day.

I sat in Chris' trial today, and up until 3pm she sat behind me doing her own work. The only minor screw up was when Stali kept going with a witness instead of interposing with another exhibit. Fucking case plan.

At the end of the day, I sat with him until like 5pm in the courtroom because he wanted to listen to the LDs. Because it was in Spanish, I just sat there thinking about how a few years ago, in this very courtroom, I was with HK client opposing Stali. Ah how times have changed.

When I got back to the office, Nunjo was standing at Mario's desk (he wasn't there) and asked me "long day?" I said not really, now determined to stop whinging, and said I am learning Spanish. Mary was walking along the corridor and probably heard me. I expected her to join in but she didn't. 

I then spoke to Clare and she said she has a matter in Newcastle on Thursday but can't do it anymore, and Mary said to ask me if I could do it, but that if I couldn't then Nunjo could do it.

Why the hell ask me? She knows full well I am in Chris' trial, do you really think I'd have time to go to Newcastle??

I thought about this when I was alone in the office. At first I thought it was Mary turning against me, like "if you're so hard working, let's see you go to Newcastle". But on further thought, it could be her way of throwing off DS' plan to have me involved in this trial.

I left the office at close to 8pm and went to the gym. The sit ups area was full so I couldn't get to do sit ups which was disappointing.

Looking forward to walking to work tomorrow!

Kainan: 7-1

Woke up at about 7am today, left at 8am to go into the office. I figured I would try to get the documents done for Mary's big matter, and I could come back after bball to finish off my minute I started yesterday. But due to my diarrhea, I couldn't even get the documents completed. I did a whole batch but still need to do all the annexures.

At close to 10am I went out to the shopping centre to get some breakfast and also withdraw the money for the uniforms. I then went to retrieve my car from the car park. As I was exiting, another car came in. I hoped to god it wasn't someone from my office because I wasn't supposed to be parking there. I only took one glimpse of the guy, seemed to be an older man, don't think I've ever seen him before so I think I'm safe.

I drove all the way out to Blacktown, this time without a GPS, relying on my memory from a few weeks ago and found it without any inconvenience. Raul was already outside his home doing something and greeted me when I approached. He invited me into his place and I saw his wife. Then he showed me the uniforms and as always, he managed to impress and surprise. This is the first uniforms I have ordered without any yellow on it, so it is breaking a little tradition, but oh well. I don't really plan on having a significant role in this team anyway, hence why I urged Bo to organise it.

I paid Raul and gave him a $20 tip. I thought that was reasonable, given he only charged me $40 per uniform. How the hell is he supposed to make any money charging that low price???

I put the uniforms in my car and drove off to the courts. I thought the comp would be in full swing given it was a 12pm game, but apparently it was a completely different comp that had just finished, so the people from my comp were just getting started.

I sat at the scorer's table by myself, having gotten there about 15 minutes early. Jim showed up right on time. I was worried that I'd have to do all three functions - shot clock, score keeping, updating score board - by myself. As we were talking, we could smell this huge fart. Then the female ref who I think is kinda pretty in a tomboy-ish way, approached us to ask if we were ready, and she was like "did someone fart???" Oh my god it was so embarassing. Fook!

Alex arrived with his wife later, and then Mike arrived. For a long time, it seemed like it would be just the four of us. Bo came of course, but he wasn't playing, still recovering from his surgery.

As the clock ticked down, and as we got onto the court to warm up, I silently got angrier and angrier at MJ for having this habit of turning up to the game 30 seconds before tipoff. I wasn't expecting to win, given we didn't have Nick and Carter, but I didn't want to play with four players either. Luckily, Bert showed up. Then MJ showed up some minutes into the game.

The first few shots I took were off, and they got off to a bit of a lead. But I found that we slowly crawled back as Bert would get rebounds and do his usual thing underneath the basket. Then, surprisingly, I started hitting my shots. One after another. They were just falling like rain. Even one long two I felt like it had come off my left hand, it swished through the basket. Goddamn, and this is without having played for like two weeks.

So around the middle of the game I did a bunch of scoring. I think I got about 10 points. I probably should've kept shooting but found myself hesitating a bit. In the second half I decided to penetrate just a little bit more, and on a semi-fastbreak found myself driving around some defenders, then throwing a pass across to Mike who was under the basket. He put it up and the ball rolled around the rim and out. He slapped me on the rear and I took it as an apology for fucking it up.

I drove it on another occasion and put up a floater, which hit the back rim and bounced high up into the air - then fell through the basket. The game was tied towards the end, and with free throws, we were up by one. Bert had two free throws and clanked them both, and so did the other team. Then MJ went to the line and missed two as well, but there were only a few seconds left and they didn't get a proper shot off.

We won, 41-40.

We just beat the team coming first (we are only coming first because we have played one more game than them, so in reality, they were coming first) WITHOUT Nick or Carter!!!

And it was all a team effort too!!!

I sat on the bench, feeling...exhilarated. It is kinda hard to describe. But it was a good feeling. Kinda like I had just conquered something. But it was better than that, because it was a team effort. I was so happy. I was too happy to have this feeling ruined by returning to work, so I didn't.

Bo, Jim, Mike and I went to eat at Auburn at a Thai restaurant. We agreed to take just one car which made sense, and they said to take my car. I didn't like it, but thought about all the times Jim drove me home, so I couldn't complain there.

Remember that pass I made to Mike under the basket? Turns out he thought that went in! LOL! What a...

We had a good meal discussing the game. Bo said we played well as a team. But there was a moment where we criticsed Mike because he was standing behind the point guard with the ball calling for it, instead of going into the post. I didn't want to press it, for fear of another 'Bo incident'.

I was just glad I decided not to go into work. I could appreciate this moment, this winningness, my friends - the weekend.

I really wish right now I could capture how I feel into words, but it's so hard. When everything goes right in basketball, it's my ultimate dream. It makes me feel soooo good about myself, like I've achieved something that many others may not achieve in their entire lives.

After that we went to the Adidas and Nike factory outlets as Mike wanted a new pair of shoes. I got a bit annoyed that they wanted to drive from one to the other. I swear it's only like 500m between them. I was close to buying a jersey for $25. Mike said I should check out the other store first, so I did, but by then I lost the desire to buy anything at all, lol.

Mike bought his shoes and then I drove them all back to the stadium to their cars. I then drove Bo home. On the way, I was surprised he brought up the topic of needing to calm Nick down. I have been feeling this way for a long time, but didn't know Bo was feeling the same. I just don't get why Nick feels like he has to prove his point. To me, it's silly to even watse time arguing with a team who is losing and on the bottom of the ladder. It achieves nothing. But Bo doesn't think he will ever change.

I dropped Bo home then went home. I got my bucket out and went to give Malay's car a wash, since I promised him I'd check up on it while he was away overseas. It started raining as soon as I started washing it, so I hurried up and just gave it a quick scrub and left, thinking the rain would wash the detergent off.

I see that 'Josh' has posted on my of my posts recently, asking for more gambling stories rather than sexual escapades. To be honest, I'd be glad if I didn't have anymore gambling stories. That is one thing I could do without.

Since Thursday, I have been constantly looking at my chart of finances. This is the highest I've ever been in terms of money saved, net worth, and lowest debt amount. Most importantly, I am about a fortnight away from being able to pay off my credit card!!!

Whether I actually do that or not is another issue. I have been contemplating doing another balance transfer. But I fear it for two reasons: 1) it may affect my credit rating; and 2) my SLO interviews are coming up, and I don't think having a credit card company call up about me is the best foot I can put forward.

Need to be a good boy for the next fortnight.

Still unbelievably happy from today's game :)

Diarrhea / Faye

Thursday was pay day. The temptation to go to the casino was there. If I lose, I'd just withdraw the savings and use it for the Shoyo uniform money, I told myself.

However, work kept me busy, and I also bought a new pair of long socks and a basketball pump which made me feel good about myself, so in some odd way that reduced my temptation a bit. Also, I wasn't feeling too well. I went to the gym anyway, even though this was the start of my diarrhea journey.

Friday was a bit of a nervous day for me. I'd be sitting in for Chris because she has a medical appointment, and this was a day where it'd be full of playing TIs and videos. Not only had I not operated TIs and videos on this laptop before, but I hadn't even seen or heard these materials.

I had that sickening feeling in my stomach. You know that feeling you get when you're forced to do something you don't know how to do? Yeah that. On top of all that, I had to hope that my diarrhea wouldn't be a problem.

I woke up on the day, still in the midst of the illness. I went to the toilet probably five times at least in the morning before court. I got to court about 20 minutes early and started playing around with the laptop to familiarise myself with it. I seemed to get it ok, but I still wasn't too confident.

During court, I actually did ok. The only problem was one call which was being played through the projector just faded out, because the projector went onto standby. Luckily it was near morning tea and Stali said those blessed words "would that be a convenient time?"

Chris had also arrived, and I offered for her to take over. She said I was supposed to play audop through the laptop speakers (which I did before). But I swear the night before she told me the audio goes through the projector, and that was why she had something blocking the camera of the projector.

Anyway, the four of us went to morning tea. Chris kept suggesting ideas to Stali which he'd reasonably shut down. Matt the cop looked like he wanted to sleep with Chris. Hmmm.

I went back to the office after that, and then went for a run, even though my stomach was feeling like crap. I just wanted to run off the stress and feel free. I also thought about cancelling the date with Faye, because I could just tell this diarrhea thing was going to cause me trouble, but I had already cancelled last time, so didn't want to do it again.

I think I did ok in court given I had never operated the laptop for playing of that material, I had never seen the material before, and I had bloody diarrhea. Fuck.

Anyway, I slowed down for the rest of the day. I was supposed to get started on a minute, but just spent my time tidying things up.

I worked until 6ish and then went to meet with Faye. I tried to book the Spanish restaurant that we went to for Bec's farewell, but they were full and kinda rude. I went to the QVB statue and looked for her. I couldn't see her. I waited about five minutes and then called her. Apparently she had been standing at a nearby statue, but I guess I just didn't think that was her.

She didn't look exactly like her photo, and seemed kinda shy at first, covering her face a bit. I took her to the Japanese restaurant nearby that I went to with Cazza. She seemed a bit hesitant at sitting outdoors but was overall ok. She mentioned the dust from the passing buses a few times. Hmmm.

Even when we first sat down, it seemed like she was using the menu to cover up her face. But then it got a bit easier. There was a lady sitting next to us, so I was kinda careful not to reveal that we had met from a dating site, although it must've been obvious that we didn't know eachother that well.

I asked her about her work at first, but then thought maybe I shouldn't be so boring, so then we just talked about random things. She mentioned that she was fairly close with her family and brother, which put me at unease a bit because I am somewhat distant from my family. But I thought we started hitting it off around the middle of the dinner, when we realised that we had some things in common, like we had both read Rich Dad Poor Dad, we both seemed to have an interest in finance and we both like movies. Also, when she put my glasses on at the end, she said they were perfectly prescribed for her.

The only slightly odd thing was she kept offering me her ginger beer, which I kept refusing.

So, all things seemed good.

BUT

I did not find her attractive. Her personality definitely ranked her higher on the scale, but at the end of the day, I just kept thinking whether I would be able to have sex with her. Hmmm. Should I feel bad for thinking like that?

We got along so well that we just stayed there for ages, and the waitress had to come bring us the bill without us even asking for it. I couldn't help but think the waitresses were kinda cute. Also bumped into Faiz there towards the end.

We left and I walked her to Central. I realised as we walked that she looks kinda worse from side on. I found myself looking at other attractive girls and wondering why I couldn't find a girl who looked like them but had the brains of Faye. She was definitely a smart person, a nice person, and a funny person. But I just wasn't attracted.

Is it so hard to find a smart and beautiful woman?

Today, my diarrhea seems to be coming to an end, but the remnants were still there. I went to the office at 11am, then Genie came in around noon. We talked a bit, I found myself bitching about things from Chris' trial, to the new girl working part time and how it was unfair because she misses out on all the sentences. Hmmm I must stop bitching and gossiping. Very un-manly like.

I worked until 6pm and still didn't finish my minute. I caught the bus home, not really knowing how the hell I'm supposed to get my work done now, given I have bball tomorrow.

Politics of level 11

Today was my first day instructing in Christina's trial. I was nervous as hell. Chris came down to the court with me in the morning. The cop was there and he asked if she would be hanging around. I joked that she'd jump up and take control when I screwed up.

Not funny, it is a very real possibility.


Talk about stress. Every waking moment I was mentally checking whether the next step was the right step. All the while I'm trying to type down everything being said. According to the way she likes to have it typed. Fark.

And the thing is, Stali, as good as he is, due to the way Chris has organised it, doesn't really know what's coming up next, so my position plays a much larger role. Why did she have to do it this way???

In the afternoon, when we got up to calling the cop, Chris took over. I wanted to offer it to her anyway during afternoon tea, but it never came! Lucky she was there. So for the last 45 minutes I just sat at the back watching.

After court, Rom asked if she was allowed to talk to me. I took it as a joke and said "no, you're my mortal enemy now for between 10 and 4 everyday". Then on facebook she writes a status like "I thought it was [insert name here] but not 100% sure..." - wtf?

As we were walking back after court, I felt like Stali and the cop just liked Chris so much more than me. Stali didn't even look at me when we all said bye. And the cop was asking what time Chris would be catching her train. What the hell? Were they organising to catch the same train together? He, too, didn't even look at me when he left.

Anyway, I just told myself that I'm here to get paid, not to be liked.

I was so tired after work. Clare came to my room to tell me a funny story today from the diversity CLE about what DS had said, and then she appeared to want to gossip a bit about what had happened yesterday and the trial. I whispered a bit of info but didn't really want to say anything more with the door open.

I spoke to Mary about seeing a lady I used to work with in Lismore on the bench. Turns out she knew her too, so we had a bit of a chat about that. I felt like it put us in a better relationship than what it seemed like yesterday.

I was hungry so went to the supermarket to get some food and walked a bit with Mary as she was going home. I saw Clare was ready to leave as well and expected her to be with Mary. Wonder if she stayed back to try to gossip with me.

After I made some sandwiches in the office, I did a bit of tidying up and then decided to call it a day. I was too tired to even go to the gym. I decided to walk home to clear my head. I find that I subconsciously love walking and listening to my music. It's the next best thing to driving around with my music.

As I walked home, I thought about the recent events surrounding me that had shed light on the political situation of our floor. Call me stupid, or just a guy, but I've only just realised that Mary and Imad don't get along. Some points:

1. Just like in good old DS fashion, he has gotten onto this topic late - the topic of helping me get an SLO position. To bump up my credentials, he has arranged for me to supervise Nathan and for me to be involved with Chris in her trial.

2. You have to wonder, why? In two respects - first, are my current credentials insufficient? Surely he has the experience to know who'd qualify and who wouldn't. I honestly thought that I had enough, what with my previous work history (apparently that doesn't mean much once you're here), my work ethics here, and the big matter Mary has assigned to me. Also, is he giving me extra padding because he just found out that he won't be on the panel? Of course, if he was on the panel, then perhaps all this wouldn't be necessary.

The second aspect is, why help me? Meaning, what's in it for him? Does he truly just want to help me because he sees me as a hard worker who doesn't make a fuss? Or is there something more? If it's the former, then I think he's a person I can trust.

3. Why is Mary opposing this? I'd like to think she genuinely cares about my workload, but I am starting to think this isn't the reason. Chris said she feels threatened by Imad. Mary and Michael were good buds when they were on this level. She had no reason to feel threatened by Imad back then. But now that DS is here, she has no best friend high up. But how does having me work in Chris' trial mean losing power to Imad? I don't think it does. I think she just wants to flex her muscles and is angry that she can't. So if this is true, then it seems that she doesn't really have my interests at heart.

Stepping back a bit, it seems that she has more of an interest in creating a tight knit group to support her if anything happens, hence all the long lunches occasional food offerings etc.

4. Let's look at Chris' position. She liked it when Michael was here. She doesn't like DS. She likes the fact that Mary no longer has the power she used to have. That's kinda an odd position. She sides with Imad. Now extend this. I think Nunjo sides with Chris.

WOULDN'T THIS EXPLAIN why Nunjo stays out of group conversations with Mary??? I always attributed it to her personality and being selfish, but this makes more sense. She doesn't want to be seen as siding with Mary, because she is on Chris' side, who is with Imad.

Dayum. Mind = blown.

5. I also thought about the possibility (probability) of not getting the promotion. I don't think I want to wait another year to earn more money. This is the time to be making money. I think I'll be forced to "test free agency" if I don't get it. I am thinking LAC. Hmmm. It's kinda sad, because I really like it here.

On another note, as I was walking to court with Chris after lunch, leaving our building we passted that Asian girl from my office who is kinda hot. She held eye contact with me for a few seconds as we passed. Hmmm. Still can't forget the time she came onto my level and started strutting towards and past me.

I keep thinking I should wait for her - a much better goal than Nunjo.

My first involvement in office politics

Yesterday I bumped into Evissa on my walk to work. Apparently she walks to work too. It was kinda funny, cause at one point we were walking behind this guy, and we both walk pretty fast, then the guy suddenly stops, and she walks right into him. He says something like "stop walking up my ass" and we both walk away laughing. What an idiot. I hate people who stop abruptly in the middle of the street.

Once we got to our building, ended up catching the same lift as Nunjo. Just said hey to her and spoke to Evissa, before she got off. Then Nunjo turned to me and smiled, and I smiled back, almost as if it was some secret connection we had.

At the end of the day, she kinda stopped me in the corridor near the photocopying room to talk. I had to catch DS before he left so kept glancing at his door, and she would do the same following me, as if to see what I was looking at. When she mentioned bumping into Lincoln, I lost my attention then and there and just walked off as she printed something.

Today, I walked past her room and saw her holding her phone. I asked if she was playing the drawing game and she said no but she would now. She asked if it was her turn and I said yes. I went in and saw her guess my drawing. It was David Beckham, and she was having trouble getting it until I gave her a few clues. I then walked out and went back to my room.

I was working and then heard her say "your turn". I looked up but she was already gone. I logged in and completed my turn.

I got the call today offering me an SLO interview. I tried to pick the latest date so chose 30/3. Everyone else also got one, so nothing special at this stage I guess.

There was an explosion in office politics today. I had a mention in the morning, not realising it was meant to be at noon, so mentioned it and then returned at noon. But even at noon, defence was late. They sent an agent who turned up at 12:30pm. Then I got into this whole mess with the Mag about the sequence numbers, and she couldn't be bothered doing it past 1pm so asked me to sort it out over lunch. I did, and then went to Chris' trial, which I was supposed to be doing. She was cool about it and did it. I also bumped into Rom in there, as she is appearing for one of the accused.

I went back to my courtroom at 2pm and got the matter done, then went back to the office. Earlier in the day Mary had asked me about Chris' trial and when I said I had to sit in for the rest of the week, she objected and said she'd speak to DS. I said she didn't have to but she insisted. But when she tried, he was already talking to someone in his room.

So now that I'm back at the office, this has all happened and DS has asked to see me. He said he's sticking by the decision to keep me in the trial, and that both Chris and I have to report to him. I told Chris and she said she knew Mary would chuck a stink. I said I didn't know why and she said it was because she felt threatened by Imad. Hmmm.

Now I feel like I'm a child forced to choose between two arguing parents. I just want to do my work, I don't want to take sides. I wonder why DS is pushing so hard for this. Does he think I don't have enough on my application? Does he think I'll screw up the interview? Is it because he isn't on the panel and won't have an influence?

I also wonder why Mary did what she did. Is it really because of Imad? Why is there such a divide between our teams? In the morning when I was talking to Mary and Nunjo, she said she didn't want me going to their side of the floor. Nunjo also said I couldn't leave as I was the only man in the team  - does that mean she would miss me?

Argh, I feel so torn. I wonder if this has created something of a permanent nature between Mary and me. Does she understand I'm just an innocent bystander in the middle? I know this will blow over, but can't wait until it does.

I went to the gym after finishing at 8pm at work.

The cult

Monday
At the end of the day Nunjo and I were talking, and she asked if I had seen the poster behind Ogre's door. I said no so she led me to Ogre's room to show me. We went in and almost closed the door, and on the back of it was a newspaper article with a picture of one of Ogre's accused posing in a bikini as she used to be a model. She was blonde, tall, and hot. Nunjo asked me if I thought she was pretty, and I said yes. She said she thought she looked skanky. I said they weren't necessarily inconsistent. She asked me what, and I said never mind and walked out.

However, in those few moments with the door almost closed, I felt like it would've been a perfect opportunity to make a move.

I need to remind myself that she's not right for me: she had interest in a married man, she smokes and she doesn't want to get married.

Tuesday
Clare came to my room in the morning to complain that SEH had went into her room asking if she had received her email. Clare said no, and SEH said she didn't believe her, and got onto Clare's computer to check. Then Clare's boyfriend sent an email through, and SEH asked who it was.

At first I took this to be just gossiping and dismissed it, but then realised that this could be grounds for a formal complaint, and told Clare that if she wanted to make it known then I'd help her. Damn I have to act more senior.

To make things worse, we found out that Briony had left our floor and SEH was to take her place. I told Clare this was a good thing because then we'd have less to do with her, but she said maybe Briony just wasn't doing her job properly. Hmmm.

We all received an email saying they'd be testing the emergency lights at 5:30pm so lights would be out, so I couldn't really stay back. Ele emailed me and said she was going to a seminar that night and would tell me if it's good or not. I said I couldn't stay back at work anyway and asked to go along, so we organised to meet at her work.

So after work, I met her at her work and we waited outside for Laura. Now that Laura wasn't in a swimsuit, it made a bit of a difference and I felt indifferent again. Maybe worse, I didn't even really want to talk to her for fear she may mistake it as more.

Anyway, we were a little hungry so went to Macca's at Darling Harbour, and that's where we met Ele's other colleagues, Oddy and Amy. It was here that I started sensing something was odd. Oddy said that this seminar changed her life and gave her the courage to break up with her boyfriend of seven years. She was kinda attractive, but I thought she was a bit weak internally if she needed help to break up a relationship.

Anyway, we started walking to the seminar, and when we got there we were required to sign up. I didn't think much of it, but had my usual reluctance to give out my mobile. I just figured I wouldn't answer their calls.

I went into the bathroom first and then came back out to find them gone, only to find them again in a large room with a small stage and seats in front of it. We took a seat in the back row and soon, a large Jamaican lady started talking. She was quite animated and comical. However, I was on high alert due to the somewhat odd people who seemed slightly too eager to having us sign up and sit down.

There were two blackboards on the stage. On the right was one which had the prices set out - a four day seminar for adults was $635 and the seminar for children was $680. The deposit was $110.

Well, at least they're upfront about the fees.


On the blackboard to my left was just empty. One of the first things she said was that we were filled with value judgments and prejudices.

Well, I knew this from law school.


She said we needed to take these away as they were stopping us from learning new things. I could see that this was her way of getting us to take our guards down. She started telling us about how learning things their way could allow us to get anything we wanted - a new BMW, a new relationship, or the job we always wanted.

Now I was on very high alert.

From thereon I basically had the "this is bullshit" attitude and was distracted. I tried to read the pamphlet they gave out, which had ten 'distinctions' they taught to help us learn. It seemed like four pages of nothing. You read it and then wonder "what the hell did I just read?"

I looked around the room. People were actually hanging off her every word. They were laughing at every joke, at every analogy. Then there was this part where the 'graduates' introduced the people they had brought (ala 'recruited'). One man in front of us told everyone that he had brought his son and another woman (who I guessed to be his wife or something like that). I wanted to slap him up the back of the head - why the hell would you bring your son into this???

Everyone was so enthusiastic about introducing someone it was kinda creepy. Then it was Oddy's turn. I was sure she wouldn't introduce me as I was just a friend of a friend. But she did. Oh well. I just smiled and nodded.

The one thing that was starting to worry me was watching and hearing Ele laugh at all the jokes. She was...buying into all this!

I looked around and saw that all the 'volunteers' were standing at the back, watching us. It created an atmosphere that made it hard to leave. By this stage I was pretty uninterested and there was no way I'd open up my wallet for this shit.

Luckily there was a break where we were given time for the graduates to try to convince us to join. As I was sitting far from Oddy, she couldn't really reach me and I sat there wondering how I should make my exit. Ele asked if I wanted to stay or not, and I said it was getting late. She said she'd leave if I left, and stay if I stayed. I didn't want to influence her, so I said she could stay and I'd leave.

I waited for her to listen to Oddy a bit, and then she told Oddy that I was leaving. I was scared Oddy would start pressuring me, but instead, she shook my hand and left it at that. I got up and headed for the exit, prepared for the barrage of volunteers that would stop me. I made it to the door without making eye contact. Then in the next corridor, there were volunteers talking to people. Luckily, these people occuipied them enough for me to leave peacefully and quietly.

I walked out, relieved. I sent a message to Ele telling her to think about it before signing up.

I got a bit lost leaving, and found myseld near the casino. I thought I'd have a bit of a punt, and withdrew $100. I lost. I can't believe how much bad luck I've had.

I kept checking my phone for a message from Ele but it never came.

When I got home, I googled the name of the cult, Landmark Education, and found that other people had also labelled it as a cult. Not going to re-do the reviews here, but it was quite scary.

Wednesday
Ele sent me a facebook message at midnight, saying she wanted a better life, the reltionship she expected, and her own business. What the hell? What the hell had this cult done?

I sent her the reviews I found from google when I got to work. She didn't say anything about them, but wanted to meet up after work. I was eager to convince her not to join, so agreed.

My jury came back with a verdict: guilty. I guess I didn't expect anything less, but a small part of me was hoping it would be an acquittal. These things are always hard. I watched the jury as they came in. I saw the down faces of some of them, and I already knew the result.

The words always hit hard when read out by the foreman. I sniffed, then told myself not to react. I watched them as the judge spoke to them afterwards. Some of the older women were sad. It was at that moment that I realised what a hard job it was. Anyone (Bobby) who enjoyed it was inhumane.

I was tired when I got back to the office. But I had to press on, with a sentence each on Thursday and Friday.

After work I met up with Ele. We met at the 'usual place' and talked about where to go. She said she could only stay for 40 minutes. I suggested Meet Fresh, but as we walked past this small plaza, she suggested we go inside as she wanted to show me a place. She took me to this Asian supermarket that Bo had taken me to before. At the front they made crepes, and she said she'd buy me one. So she got a chocolate one for me and a plain one for her.

We went inside and sat on some stools. I started talking to her about the cult. She didn't seem convinced that it was a cult, but told me that she had agreed with Laura not to sign up. She hinted at her problem, saying she couldn't tell me. All she let off was that it related to someone else. I wondered if it had to do with Evonne being bad. She also said something about other people's lives being perfect.

But as we talked, she slowly let out more and more. She said something about a girl as young as her. Then it became obvious that her dad was leaving her mother for a girl as young as her. Her parents were breaking up. She said her father said he had done his job raising her and now wanted to do whatever he wanted. She questioned how he could be so stuipid and feared he'd lose all his money.

She said she couldn't tell Yang because he wouldn't understand as he seemed to have a perfect family. I said I understood, and told her that back in my uni years, my parents would fight because my mom accused my dad of cheating. I told her about the nights when I could hear my mother hitting my father, and I had to intervene. I had never told anyone this before - not even this blog. But here I was, telling her. She had tears in her eyes, she was using tissue to wipe her eyes but her tissue was soon running out.

I told her that one mistake to make was to assume everyone's lives were perfect. I told her that everyone has problems, and that I probably gave off a perfect image. She said yes. I said now she knows I'm not.

I could sense I was slowly steering her away from the depths of her problems and the whole cult thing, until she cracked a laugh and punched me on the shoulder. It was probably a good time to leave it there, but we talked about some deep issues some more, until she laughed again and I thought that was a good time to leave.

I can't believe we sat there in the open talking and her crying. People probably thought we were a couple breaking up.

She gave me a hug when we stood up and I walked her to the train station which wasn't far.

Thursday
I suffered my second caffeine withdrawal. I realised the coffess I had been having with Troy during the trial added up. It hit hardest in the late afternoon. I was totally out of it.

After work I went to Myer for a browse, then went home. I think I slept about11 hours.

Friday
Still somewhat out of it, I stumbled through a long adjournment by the other side. Lucky none of my sentences went ahead, I so wasn't in the mood for it.

I felt a bit better as the day went along, and planned to stay back to work, until at about 6pm Jim messaged me and we agreed to meet for dinner at 7pm, so I worked until then.

Earlier I had asked Nunjo if she had heard of this game called Draw Something. She said yes and that Chris had introduced her to it. She asked me what my username was. I was busy trying to get my screen to show her a drawing so didn't answer, and she asked again, and she added me. I gave her my most used email address, and wondered if she would try googling that.

So now, although I don't have her number, I have her on this thing. It seems kinda romantic - you communicate via drawings, not texts or calls. Hmmm.

Jim wanted to try that Korean restaurant in the alley way again, and again it was packed. We took a ticket this time and waited about 45 minutes before moving along. We eventually found a Japanese restaurant near Chinatown. I find that Jim is quite picky with what he eats.

I on the other hand would've been fine with Macca's or KFC. Hell, I even felt like Pizza Hut again.

At dinner we talked about girls. He showed me some girls on his facebook he could introduce me to, and none of them appealed to me. I may have slipped up by telling him my mindset: there were two ways to get girls, lower my standards or get more money. Luckily I don't think he is the type to use information against you.

He did show me this really cool Japanese lemonade, and it was cool because of the unique way you open it. I thought about getting one to show Nunjo.

After that we were about to call it a night. I was thinking casino, even though I had barely any money left for the weekend. I wondered if that was on his mind. Maybe it was the elephant in the room? We went to check out a DVD store and then he said he'd drive me home. I asked if he wanted to meet his friends for coffee. I only asked so he wouldn't have to drive me home, but he took it as me wanting to meet his friends.

So he called them and arranged to meet them for coffee.

We met at Starbucks on the main street. There were four girls. I noticed that as soon as they saw me, one looked me up and down. Talk about analysing. I thought one of them was kinda pretty, but turns out she was pregnant. Hmmm. Another was ok, but she was quite talkative and funny, so that bumped her up the scale a bit. Don't think she was interested though.

I think they had arranged for one of them to like me. They asked where I lived and asked if I drove, suggesting that I could drive that girl home. But she was probably the least attractive of them all *sigh*

Jim drove me and two girls home.

My first trial here

So this past week I've been flat out as my trial has started. It's a relatively small and short one, but it sure is taking it's toll. I don't have time to do anything else and everytime I return to the office there's like 20 new emails and 10 missed calls.

On Wednesday we played the Lizards. It was my first game without Angelo, and I swear, that was one of the first games in a long long time where I didn't hate it. We lost, but we competed and most importantly, played as a team. We were leading early on, but slowly gave it up. I hit a jumper in the first half, then hit a bunch more in the second but it wasn't enough.

After the game, Mike, Bo, Nick and I went to the pub nearby and had some drinks. I only wanted a quick one because I had to get to work early the next day, but we ended up staying till midnight, and so I had to ask Mike to drive me home. I gave him $20 because he didn't have an etag and would cop a fine for doing it, lol.

Also, at the end of the day at work, Nunjo had come to my room to talk about something. I asked her how the super talk was, and she mentioned that she realised she wouldn't have enough super to retire on. I thought "duh!" - who the hell seriously plans to retire with just their super? Can't believe she is that ignorant, and wonder what she spends all her money on.

Anyway, that started a long talk from me about money, I told her about the Kiyosaki book and how rich people buy assets and others buy liabilities. She seemed to understand that. I then talked about how earning 6% interest is really only 1% after taxes and inflation, and then she said it was giving her a headache. SMH.

Thursday was payday. I did the usual where I transferred most of my excess money into online savings accounts, but somehow still had a bit left on top of my estimated spendings. I stayed back to work on the trial, and could hear Moira and Cameron laughing and talking in her room. They had been like that since 5pm, and it was now 7:30pm. I thought "geez, get a room". One good thing was Po Sho came around, because she had logged off, so he probably wanted to see if I was still around, and he must've seen them talking, and what was I doing? READING TRANSCRIPTS! BOO-YA!

My mind got itchy with the excess money, and I ended up going to the casino. I told myself all I wanted to do was win $25 with $100 capital. Well, on my second spin I won $25 and did I leave? Nope. I tried to get $25 more and lost, then lost the rest as usual. Fuck.

I then went to the massage place I used to go to. I was surprised to be told to wait 15 minutes until 9pm, because normally they show you whoever is available. Anyway, I waited and heard a lot of guys come in one after the other. Busy.

When I was shown the girls, guess who came out first? Hana/Monica! She started the usual "Hi I'm Monica..." but she did a double take when she recognised me, lol, and then quickly went past. There were two other girls who were better looking, but I decided to go with Monica.

She led me by the hand and said "long time no see" and I was like "really?" because we were still in front of others. I didn't really know what to say. Hell, I didn't even really want to be there. I guess I was just depressed after losing money.

We talked a bit, and she said the last time I came was in October. Either she's checking her records or she has a really damn good memory. She said she didn't see me after that and thought I got a girlfriend.

The massage was per usual, although I noticed she let me feel her down there. When we finished, she gave me a facial mask and we talked. She said she was thinking of changing names and asked me for ideas. I suggested 'charcoal' because we had been talking about that as it was on the package of the facial mask. I also suggested silver, snoopy and domo.

She said she saw me once near Town Hall. I asked her if I was in work clothes. Not sure if she understood so I pointed to my suit hanging on the back of the door, and she said yes. She said it was around 3pm. I said she should've said hi, she said I was walking fast (that must've been the truth, because I really do walk fast). She also said I wouldn't recognise her as she looks very different outside of work. I wondered if she looked really, really ordinary. She said this was back in October, so it makes me wonder.

When I left, I joked that I'd see her in five months' time. I think I will return next pay day.

Yesterday after work I met up with Jim. I had planned to stay back at work (called off the date with Faye, just didn't feel like it), but he messaged me and I just said yes, although I was pretty intent on not going to the casino. I met him in the Kinokuniya bookstore and he was checking out the comics. It was a whole different world that I thought I could be interested in, but it would consume too much money. I could definitely have an interest in this if I had the time.

We went to find a restaurant. He wanted Korean and led me to this place I had seen in an alley heaps of times. I always thought it was some club, but apparently not. It was packed, so he decided not to go there. He asked me for ideas and I suggested Pizza Hut, and he seemed happy with that, so that's where we went for all you can eat.

We talked lots, I felt we have lots in common kinda. We talked about Bo and how out of shape he is, we talked about NBA, and when I told him about my knee injury and surgery, he was actually listening and cringing, and then told me he had broken his leg when he was five years old after being hit by a car. Damn.

We stayed there for ages, and then he said he'd drive me home, so I went back to the office to change and we walked to the car park. We saw the casino in sight and I told him I planned to win my money back. He asked if I wanted to go now, and I said I couldn't because I was wearing shorts. He said they'd let me in, but I said no.

Today I went into work ay about 10am, walking there. Jacqueline was also there until 1pm. I did bits and pieces before settling in to read a brief, until 4pm. I then went to the gym and then caught the bus home.

Kainan: 5-0

Man, was supposed to write this up last week, but put it off and now can't remember much.

We played Best Friends Stick Together. Bo sat out injured and said we had a disgusting start. We couldn't get a bucket to get our 1-3-1 going so that was a large part of the problem. But we managed to wear them down eventually. I didn't have my hot hand from the week before, missing two threes. There was a point where a whistle was blown, and I shot the three anyway, but because there was no pressure, I felt so confident it was gonna go in, and it swished in.

I only scored two points, late in the game, when I drove left into the middle of the lane and threw up a floater. But my best moment was probably dribbling hard right and throwing a sharp no-look pass across to Nick who converted it.

After that Jim, Bo, Nick and I went to have Macca's.