Dinner with A

Friday at work was pretty normal, just kept plugging away at a brief. At one point I walked past an office where Turk seemed to be having a conversation with her supervisor, and I heard her supervisor ask "what are you going to do about it?" in a "how do you plan on achieving your work goals" sorta way. It didn't seem right, I think the past days she has taken off sick have affected her.

At the end of the day I went to ask Karina a question and we ended up talking about work in general. We both agreed that Alanna was a heaps good supervisor and that we were lucky to have her (especially after I heard that Turk conversation), and she told me about how she went out to lunch with Turk once and learned that Turk had stuffed up a bit. We also freaked a bit about our goals of 12 briefs per month, it was going to be pretty hard given that we were new and we also had to be out for court.

She told me that if we don't meet our goals, then the head boss in Canberra breathes down our head's neck, who breathes down Wendy's neck, who breathes down Alanna's neck, and then who breathes down our neck. Shit, lol.

It was a bit confronting to see that behind all the smiling faces, and the exquisite offices, there was this real pressure to meet numbers.

I was glad that we could be that candid with eachother, and even more glad that we were in the same team.

After that I went to ask Genie a brief question which turned into a talk with more substance. I asked her how contracts were renewed and she said that technically they weren't reviewed - when positions came up you had to apply for them and if you got it then you entered into a 'new' one. Shit, lol. So that meant we had to compete with eachother and outsiders.

I obviously didn't feel very secure after that, so returned to do some more work even though it was like 5pm on a Friday. I tried to get the brief done but was frustrated that some documents hadn't been included. The boss came around later and told me to go home since there were "funner" things to do on a Friday afternoon.

Yeah I know, but at the same time, I don't wanna get fired!

I noticed that quite a few people stayed back late that day. Maybe we were all being pushed to excel.

I had lunch with Shuing that day as well. We went to the sushi train near the cinemas. We shared dishes, which meant that each dish we got, we shared exactly half the sushi. I was a bit annoyed at how slow he was eating, because while I was swallowing them down quickly and looking forward to taking the next dish, he wouldn't reach his for ages meaning that a lot of old dishes remained, leaving no room for new dishes.

We talked about Bob a bit, about how he was so lonely and asking Shuing to spend time with him all the time. Shuing, like me, didn't understand his obsession with that wrestling thing, and moreover, why he needed to tell everyone about it. Malay was a good distinction - he's into it, but because he knows you're not into it, he doesn't labour on the topic.

We talked about his birthday party which is tonight. I said it was sad that he had to invite people he didn't even like (Linda) and people he didn't even hang out with (Tracy) just to make up numbers. He seemed to have this thing about showing others about how many friends he has.

We talked about Katie a bit, much less than I wanted to. I wanted to drone on and on about her. I told him about the photocopier thing, and he said that it was good, lol.

I ended up taking up 70 minutes for lunch, but thought I could anyway since most times I don't even use up all of my 60 minutes.

There was also an email from the boss saying there was a new guy starting on Monday. My first thought was "what if this guy's tall, dark and handsome, and Katie goes for him instead?" As you can see, the green eyed monster raised himself rather quickly.

God, you haven't even met the guy yet, he could be some ugly mofo. And also, you gotta have some confidence in Katie. Besides, if she does go for him, then it's better you learn now than later.

True, true. I wonder if this thing stems from the whole Emilee experience.

After work I went home and got changed to meet up with A for dinner. I was planning to drive, but there was a lot of traffic for the George Michael concert, so I caught the bus. I ended up getting there first, called him and he was only a few minutes away.

It was good to see him. He hadn't changed, but I noticed the first thing he looked at was my hair. I bet you it was the receding hairline. Or this stupid haircut. I've been considering going to a proper hairdresser and growing my hair long. After all, I kept my hair short for bball, but now that I've semi-retired, was there a point?

Anyway, we went to a restaurant in the Wick (the same one we all went to after Michael L's wedding) because I was craving for a steak. We got a table sitting outside, and he told me about how in January one day he returned to his car after work and found two notes on the windscreen. Apparently the rear of his car had been smashed. Some truck's door had swung open, smashing into his boot. He said it was lucky that the witness left a note.

We talked about his work, and he was pretty excited because one of his commercials will be coming out soon. We talked about my work, and also about my previous case, which led to a discussion on racism in this country. He agreed with me that it existed, but he had the confirmation much earlier than I had. We agreed that it was wrong for Australians to judge whether it existed or not, because they weren't the ones on the receiving end of it. He also said that it was lucky that we went to a multi-cultural school, because it meant that we grew up in an environment where racial variety was the norm.

I told him about the whole Spawn saga. He's pretty much isolated from everyone else in high school, so I felt safe to tell him. He didn't believe it at first, but then probably figured it wasn't really something you make up. He said he liked Spawn in high school, lol.

After dinner we checked out the ice cream place nearby. He didn't seem too keen on it so I didn't buy any. We walked to his car and I told him about the girl I liked at work by first asking if he had known of any couples in the workplace. He said at his old company there was, and the guy dumped the girl and she ended up resigning because it was awkward to see him around with the new girl he hooked up with.

I will, of course, keep that in mind with Katie.

He drove me home and we talked a bit about the high school reunion and Grizzly's attempt to put together a bball team. We talked about our old bball comp a bit before we reached my place.

It was still early, and I wasn't ready to call it a night yet, so I went for a drive, up to Bondy, then to the Wick to get some ice cream, then to the sea side and back home.

Yesterday morning I went to the courts for a shootaround. I thought I had lost pretty much all my skills since not having played for so long, but everything was right there. It was like natural, my instincts. Of course, the accuracy of my shots wasn't there, but everything else was there. The way I moved, how it was so natural to take only two steps after stopping your dribble. I thought it was pretty amazing. I guess all the training in the past paid off. I had managed to build everything into my natural instincts.

I was in the mood for a pick up game, and there were people around. I could touch the backboard. Actually, I didn't just touch it, I slapped most of the black stripe that borders it. But after that, my knee felt kinda empty. It didn't hurt. I didn't damage it, but it just felt like it was telling me that I'd done enough. So before the others had a chance to rig up a game, I left.

I went home and then went to the gym. I've realised that it's hard to do my planned Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, because I usually go out on Fridays after work, so maybe Saturday can be my thing. Or I can be flexible with it.

I've noticed that my arms have started shaping up pretty quickly, but this time round I'm trying to focus more on my abs, hence all the jogging I'm doing as well.

I had breakfast at home, and luckily when I turned on the tv there was an NBA game playing - Warriors vs Nuggets. I haven't followed the NBA in ages, so it was good to finally catch up with it a bit. Even though there are a lot of new players, I still felt right at home. I mean, usually if you're watching a soap opera and they change all the characters it's kinda weird and you may even stop watching it; but with the NBA even though there were new players, it was still the same show for me, the same show that I grew up watching and loving.

It was a good game, until the fourth quarter when the Warriors practically gave up. Watching Dell Curry's son play made me feel soooo old, because I still remember watching Dell Curry play.

I bummed around on the net a bit after that, then Shuing called me up to say he was going to the auto place near me to get some touch up paint and asked if I wanted to go, so I said yes and we met in 15 minutes.

While we waited around for the paint, he grabbed some polish and wax products as well. When walking back to his car, he told me (or maybe he let slip) that Ele once told Bob that her two ex-boyfriends had cheated on her. I thought this was recent, but then when I realised that Bob hadn't invited her to his bday, maybe he was talking about back then when they used to talk.

Anyway, Shuing was telling me that in the context of whether Michael L was likely to cheat or not while Eva was away. I said he didn't seem like that type of guy, but Bob reckons he's actually quite perverted.

Hearing that thing about Ele made me feel sorry for her a bit, but then another part of me thought "well so she picked guys who cheated on her, and stalled on me" and kept reminding myself that she was the one who decided not to call me back, so she had to live with it.

Shuing ended up walking me home, and we joked around a bit about Spawn attending Bob's birthday dinner. After we parted, I had a bit of a nap before meeting up with Brain, Scope and Thai in the city.

I got there about 10 minutes late to see Thai standing there. We had a bit of a catch up talk while waiting for the others. I just kept talking to avoid the awkwardness of silence, but managed to find out that he likes to watch wildlife documentaries, hehe. I did too, so I felt like I had hit something in common, but then Brain and Scope arrived.

We checked out the session times and decided on Wolfman at 7pm. I was hungry so I suggested we get some quick Macca's, and went across the road. Only Thai and me got something to eat. Even though Brain had said he hadn't eaten, he didn't get anything. I was a bit annoyed at that because it felt a bit like a kill joy. I had lent him my book The Game as well.

There were a lot of people at Macca's, because it was mardi gras night and it seemed like every single girl in Sydney had taken it as an excuse to dress up. Maybe I'm getting old, but why is everyone so attention seeking? Everyone seemed to be peacocking themselves and showcasing themselves to the world - for what?

After that we went to watch the movie. Pretty much as soon as it started I felt a headache coming on, something similar to that time we went to watch Sherlock Holmes. But it didn't get that bad and it allowed me to enjoy the movie. It didn't seem like anything special, it was like a 5/10 movie. Don't know why Anthony Hopkins opted for the role, he usually picks good movies.

After that we went to the same sushi train that I had been to with Shuing. One of the ladies working there did a bit of a double take when she saw me as I sat down. She must be thinking "geez, he must like our food", lol.

I sat next to Scope, and talked to him about photography and a game on facebook. He's learnt to be quite interesting, which was far from what he was a few years ago I reckon. I admire that.

Brain on the other hand still seemed as aloof as he had been in high school. After we finished eating, we were deciding on what to do, and when it came around to him, he gave his usual "I don't know". It's like the guy has absolutely no directions or initiatives.

See, I reckon out of all of us, he'd have the best chance of getting a girl, because he's tall and thin, with good hair. But once you get to know him, or even speak to him, you realise how undecisive he is. I mean, if me, a guy, gets annoyed at that, imagine how a girl feels. The thing is, I feel that he wants to achieve things in life, but he lacks that motivation or desire to take that first step. If he was a leader and not a follower, he'd achieve much more (whereas some achieve more by following than leading).

I decided to go home because of my headache, while they decided to go to a club for drinks.

Today, it seemed like I got a lot done. Early in the morning, I went to the courts again. Shirt off, I shot around a bit, before falling into this drill where I had to make at least 50% of my free throws, or else I had to run the court up and down for lay-ups and then do the jump rope. I failed a few times, which meant a few of those sets, before I finally hit the last four free throws to make 50%, hehe.

I kept thinking about the possibility of returning to comp. I thought about the guy who king hit me and then realised I was in no shape to be at that level. If he wanted to fight, I'd be dead. In that scenario, I'd need surgery to return. But then again, maybe I could just return to the Thursday comp, and play a lesser role?

I was still up in the air about it. But watching me shoot around, no one would believe that I had a knee injury, I knew that for sure.

After that, I drove up to the Wick to rent Ghost Town, and then went to Bondy to the post office to pay my phone bill. I returned home and almost straight away washed my car because it looked like it was going to rain. After that I had breakfast, and then later went out to get some Chinese takeaway because they were playing the Celtics-Cavs game.

Man, the Rasheed Wallace trade was stupid. He's so old now he does nothing. And why on earth did they think they would need Nate Robinson??

I had started watching the movie a bit, but after the game I took a nap.

Man I am thinking so much about Katie it's not funny. This is really the whole NTM thing again. I think if I keep obsessing over her, I'm gonna screw up. I need a distraction.

So that explains tomorrow

Woke up late again, don't know why in Sydney I have this habit of waking up late. So I prepared my lunch and then got some Chinese bread in the city close to my office and ate it in there. I also wore my vest, hehe.

Alanna gave me feedback on my first two briefs, which was overall positive, but I have a feeling she makes it sound better than it is, which I appreciate. I thought she looked quite attractive today, just wished she'd stop wearing those low cut tops. I've realised that she's always kept our discussions professional though, which I respect.

I spent pretty much the entire day fixing up those two files and closing them, as well as chasing other things up.

I ate my lunch in the office, but after that I went out to lodge my rental bond thing to get my money back. That didn't take as much time as I'd thought. Katie had gone to lunch about half an hour before I did, and I felt a bit sad.

Why is she going out today but delaying me till next week?

Maybe she's meeting up with a friend? Duh!

I actually bumped into her later in the day when I came out of the photocopying room. She didn't seem surprised, but I sure was. She smiled and asked me how I was going, I said good and asked her the same, and she said good and that was it as I retreated back into my office. I was totally unprepared for that.

I wasn't intending to talk to her for the rest of the day, but at the end of the day I was feeling talkative and went to scan some documents. I didn't think it'd be much fun to have to type my email in there every single time so I wanted to know how to save myself into the address book. I thought I could hit two birds with one stone by asking her.

I walked to her area where she was reading on her monitor.

Me: So how many people have you prosecuted today?

She turned around and smiled.

Her: One or two.

I LOVE how she gives honest answers!

She asked me the same back, and I just said about one.

I asked her if she still saw me as a defence lawyer, and she chuckled and said not really, that I was starting to settle in. I told her how some people still saw me as defence, and then told her that story about how Rodney walked past the other day and said "what are you doing here?!" and she laughed, hehe.

I asked her if she could show me how to save myself into the scanner's address book and she seemed pretty eager to help. I followed her to the photocopy room and I noticed how short she was. I think she was wearing heels, and she was still shorter than me. She must be, what, 5"2, 5"3?

She had a go at reading the instructions on the wall, which made me feel stupid for not reading them in the first place.

D'oh!

We couldn't figure it out, and I noticed she was wearing a shirt which had the top button undone. I didn't look, but I was tempted to.

We stood there trying to figure it out for a while before realising we were reading the wrong instructions, lol. I was actually a little surprised that she couldn't figure it out right away, because: 1) she has been here longer than I have; and 2) she seemed like a computer whiz during the trial.

We got it done with a bit of hiccup, meaning I first spelt my email wrong and then my name wrong. She laughed at me spelling it wrong.

We walked back to her area and she asked me if I had anything exciting planned for the weekend. I said it depended on what she meant by exciting. I can't remember what she said next, but I said I planned to wash my car. I asked her and she said she was going to a wedding.

Once in her area, I thought about walking off, but then stayed. We seemed to take up this position where I stood near a thing using my arm to rest on the top of it, and she did the same in front of me but we were probably half a metre apart. In hindsight, it looked like she was trying to mirror me.

I asked her about the wedding, and it's in Newcastle, so she's taking tomorrow off to travel up there.

So THAT'S why she can't do lunch tomorrow. Of course! It all makes sense now!

I asked her if she had been to many weddings and she said no. She was going to be the bridesmaid for this one. I told her about my cousin's one, then asked her about Newcastle. Turns out she's actually from that area. She went to uni there, her family is there, but she decided to find work here. She said she got this job two months after arriving.

We talked a bit about country life, and I said how I preferred the simple life over here. I told her everyone here seemed angry all the time and she laughed.

I found out that she doesn't have a car, and that she lives in North Sydney. I seemed surprised that she didn't have a car, which probably made her think I was weird. I only repeated it because I thought "yes! This means I can drive her around!"

I told her you didn't need a car here anyway, but in the country you did.

She said she was looking forward to not having to go back to visit her family for a while. She mentioned something about renting here, and I wondered if she was living by herself or with flatmates.

I also asked her if she watched Neighbours, and she said she recently started. I told her about Ben and how he had been on it, and she said there were a lot of actors-turned-lawyers. Wonder if she was referring to anyone in particular.

I noticed she had her arms crossed during most of the conversation, but I think that was because she was nervous. Towards the end she didn't have them crossed and they were open.

I felt she must've been wanting to go because she may have been in a hurry so I decided to end it there. She told me to have fun washing my car, lol, and I said it wasn't going to be as much fun as her wedding.

I was pretty happy after that, and motivated to do some work even though it was getting to 6pm, but my stomach wasn't feeling very well so in the end I called it quits.

I bought a chicken stick at a fast food Korean stall, then a cupcake as I walked around the city a bit. I saw this really nice tie at Myer, but it was: 1) on a mannequin, and 2) Hugo Boss, so it must've been expensive.

I was tempted to buy two ties for $50 because one of them was a nice black one built up with little squares, but then told myself to save some money.

I went home, then later took the car out for some petrol. I decided to spend my money on the expensive type of petrol instead. I'm not sure if it was the pump or my car, but it clicked to indicate that you couldn't fill up anymore when I had just gotten into it. I pumped maybe 10 litres when I thought I could've done 20.

The needle did go up about a bracket after that, so maybe it was just the pump.

Ah I am so happy. I won't get to see her till Tuesday, but everything seems to be going well.

I asked her out to lunch

Man I woke up late again today, so skipped breakfast and just got ready for work. My plan was to get something quick from Macca's in the city, but there was a long line when I got there so I just decided to go without breakfast.

I got to the office and prepared a folder for photocopying, then waited a bit until it was time to go to the induction.

I made my way to level 8 into the training room to find a girl talking to two ladies. The two ladies were from HR who organised it and the girl was a new addition, just like me. We waited a bit for another girl to arrive, who sat next to me because our seats had been designated.

The first speaker was this Korean guy from IT, who ran us through some of the basics, but nevertheless, I still managed to learn a thing or two. I thought it was funny when he showed us something, and the older lady leaned into the other lady and whispered "you don't have to do that", lol, as if she knew more than he did.

I found myself studying the guy's face. People are right - Asians do have nice skin. I watched as he talked and smiled from time to time. He wasn't the best looking bloke, but he seemed like the type who was easy to get along with and would laugh all the time. He reminded me a bit of Lemon. Everytime he laughed his eyes squinted so much they almost disappeared. I thought that was funny.

Then some guy from finance gave a spiel, and it was good to learn a bit about the building. Too bad we can't park there even during the weekend.

After that we had morning tea, where we stood around drinking tea and eating Tim Tams. I looked around and realised everyone was female.

Why is this place so intent on hiring women??

A man came by and started talking, and when one of the ladies introduced me, he said he knew, because he had interviewed me.

Oh my god! I completely forgot!

I remembered two of the people during the interview, but could never figure out who the other one was. So it was him.

I was pretty quiet during the morning tea, got into the "don't want to say anything wrong" mode, whereas on my floor I feel like I'm seen as a pretty talkative guy to some, cause I walk around eating my apple and starting conversations.

After that we returned to the training room for a talk on harassment. I was pretty sure it was useless because I don't think I'd ever feel I was getting harassed, but it did make me think about my own actions, and if they might ever come close to be considered harassment.

Then we had some guy from the registry talk about how his section works, and that was it for the day, but we have the second half of the induction next Monday.

When I returned to my office it was nearly 1pm. Wendy came in and talked to me a bit about a file she had left on my desk. I saw Katie walk past and put a file into the cabinet. She was wearing this black dress which I reckon could come off as a dinner dress. Wendy saw me looking and turned to see what I was looking at.

D'oh! Second person to catch me looking at her! It seems like no one else distracts me except her.

I wondered if that was her way of trying to come around to see me. Maybe she had intended to drop off the file and come for a chat? But then she saw Wendy which altered her plans?

I saw a group email from Tim inviting everyone to his birthday lunch at a Chinese restaurant, but it had started at 12:30 so I missed it anyway. So that's what I overheard him talking about.

Interesting thing was that Katie was still around - she didn't go. I pondered back and forth before deciding to ask her out to lunch. On my first trip there I bumped into Imad and we made small talk as I walked past.

I needed a second trip round to be alone. She seemed to be able to detect my approach, as she turned around before I even got there.

Me: You seem so focussed on that.

Her: My eyes are like laser -

Me: Oh so you're not at Tim's lunch?

She said no, but can't remember exactly what she said. I said something like I would've wanted to go but missed it.

Me: So are you going out to lunch today?

Her: No, I've got a lot to do. Why?

Me: Oh, I just wanted to see if you were up for lunch?

I swear I saw a change in her body language and facial expression. It was like I had caught her off guard. Maybe she was trying to think of a way to retract from her position. But it was too late, she had already said she wasn't going out to lunch.

Her: No...I can't, maybe next week.

I said ok and walked off and out to lunch.

I was pretty happy. And confused. Conflicted.

Was that a rejection? Or was that a plan for next week?

I went to the bank to deposit my coins, half smiling but half worried that I had just been rejected.

Maybe I had gone too fast? I mean, yesterday was probably the first real conversation you have had with her, and all of a sudden you ask her out to lunch? And why next week? Why not tomorrow? Or Friday?

I went to that Pepper Lunch place and ate...by myself. I've been thinking about taking her there. Wonder if she'd like it.

Should I pay if we went to lunch?

I returned to the office in half an hour, and my mind was half focussed on work, and half thinking about it. I emailed Shuing about it, he said to just take her word for it and go next week.

The thought of going up to her again for a chat did cross my mind, but my pride restrained me. Also, I wondered if it would constitute harassment.

She seemed to stay back pretty late. I was finishing something off. It was about 5:45pm and there were only a few people left in the office when I heard someone walk by quickly and put a file into the cabinet behind me.

Was that her?

My paranoia tells me it was. But then I thought, who else puts files there? I've never seen a lawyer go there, only paras. So maybe it was her? And she was the only para left.

I left work at 6pm, went home, then went for a mile jog. After that I went to the gym. My arms are so tired.

I think my plan is to avoid her for the rest of the week. Make her come to you. Make her think that you think she rejected you, so it's her turn to give you a hint and the green light. Besides, if she's not interested, there are plenty of other girls on the floor.

Chat with Katie

I woke up at 1am today because it was soooo humid! Went back to sleep at about 2:30am and then woke up at 7am, so I skipped breakfast, made my lunch, had a shower and went off to work.

I took my fourth and final frame into work, my grad dip, hung it up and went out to get some Macca's. As I was walking down the street, I saw this guy who looked like Stanley crossing the road, and when he stopped in front of me I tapped him on the hip and he turned around.

It wasn't Stanley at all!

Fuck. I quickly apologised and said it was the wrong person, and he gave an awkward laugh and said "alright".

Fucking hell, I couldn't wait to turn the corner because I felt like everyone behind me was laughing at me.

At Macca's there were a lot of people waiting around for their food after they had paid. One of the girls at the counter thought she had already given this guy his milkshake and was reluctant to give him another one. I was thinking "if he had already taken one, where the hell was it? He didn't have anywhere to put it", and just thought that she shouldn't have disputes over such minor things, but I could see she, for whatever reason, took it personally.

I ate my breakfast there and then returned to the office. I handed my reply to reps in to Wendy, who started reading them as soon as I left the room. I hope she doesn't think I'm stupid.

My plan today was to wait till lunch time when Katie might be alone, and then I'd grab my lunch from the fridge and then "on the way" stop by to have a chat. Starting from noon, I kept checking the roster to see whether the people around her had gone for lunch.

Come on you fucker, go to lunch.

[10 minutes later...]

You still there? Go already!

[10 minutes later...]

Fuck! Still there!

But as 1 o'clock approached, one by one they seemed to leave. I was just hoping she wouldn't go out to lunch before I got there.

Finally, with one lady still there, I decided to fuck it and go. I went around the long way, and heard that lady talking to Wendy in her office.

Yes! That means she must be alone!

Sure enough, as I approached her area, I saw her with her back to me working away. I looked around the area to make sure there was no one else about.

"G'day" I said, which prompted her to turn around. She asked me how I was, I answered and asked her back. Then I said, sarcastically, "isn't this much better than playing TI's in court?" which made her laugh and watched as she leaned back into her chair.

She asked me how I was finding it, and I said it was still novel, so still interesting. I didn't really know what I was saying, I felt like I was mumbling while trying to think of the next thing to say. I asked her something stupid about how if that was all she did, and she said yes. When there was a bit of silence, she asked me how the list was on Thursday.

Omg! She knew! That means she must've looked at my status on the roster that day...and remembered!

I told her about the judge and how she was a bit blunt, and how I got told off. She laughed a bit.

I asked her if she knew that Kate and PL had gotten married, and her eyes lighted up a bit as if gossip really interested her. Or maybe I had just struck one of the commonalities between us. I said I didn't pick it up and she said neither did she. She also knew that Kate was pregnant.

I also told her that CW was going out with Gretel, and her eyes lighted up even more. I told her about Friday, and she asked what Gretel was like, saying that she looked like a bubbly person. She knew that CW had been with someone famous before, and I said that was his wife, but he also had a girlfriend who came to court a few times.

I nodded towards the pictures of various dogs pinned up on her wall and asked if she was a dog person. She said not really, that those weren't her dogs except for the one in the pram which sadly has passed away. I asked her why she put her dog in a pram and she said that was when she was 10.

Lol, soooo cute!

I told her I was a dog person but had two cats, and when I told her their names she laughed, hehe. She said she used to have a flatmate [Whoa, does that mean she lives by herself?!] whose cat would always bite her on the feet, lol. I told her how my landlord had a chiuaua who would always bark at me. She laughed even though it wasn't very funny. What I really meant was that her dog would bark at me when I was within 100 metres of the house, thereby alerting her that I was around. I also told her that there were a few cat people on defecne in the trial, including Kate, Rom Rom, and RB.

I could sense the topic of animals was dying, so I asked "so, you're admitted?" and she said she was admitted last October. I asked her if she was waiting for an LO position and she said she supposed so. She said she applied in the same round that I did, and I smiled, trying to ask it jokingly, "you must hate us". She clasped her hands together and pointed at me with both index fingers, shaping her hands like a gun, and said "not you, because you're experienced, but there were some questionable decisions". I could see that I had gotten onto a somewhat touchy topic.

I asked her if she had ever considered defence, and she said yes and asked what it was like. I said it was ok, but losing wasn't good, and somehow mentioned my client and how he was too young. I paused, thinking I should change the subject, but didn't know what to say next.

I started walking away and she said something about coming over to talk when I have spare time. I said yes, and also invited her to come to my office some time, because I was bored in the corner. She said I had a nice office, and I said it was just to keep me away from (and gestured towards the CT people). I said that as I faded away and I heard her say see you later.

I was so happy I had this big grin on my face as I grabbed my lunch from the fridge and went back to my office to eat it. I grinned the entire time. Somehow, I felt that this was just a repeat of NTM - but this time I had taken it one step further.

I noticed on the roster that she left for lunch almost immediately after I left her. I wondered if she would call to tell anyone about our chat. I also noticed later that she returned a lot faster than usual. Her lunch break in total was less than 30 minutes. She usually takes an hour.

At the end of the day, most people had left but she had stayed. I had to go at 5:20pm because I was meeting Shuing. Even if I didn't, I don't think I would've gone for a second chat. I just felt like it ended on an ok note and didn't want to ruin it. I wanted to let it all absorb overnight.

I met up with Shuing and we ended up having dinner at that Japanese place where G and Bob had the ramen challenge, even though we had originally planned drinks. I told him about Katie and he asked whether she had a boyfriend. I told him that if girls didn't mention it then I assumed they were single. He suggested I find out what she was doing on Friday night to ascertain her status.

We talked about Michelle, and how he went to her house yesterday and saw how severely damaged her house was due to the floods. He said he was surprised by how much she hated her mom. He said that all this time, going by what she had said, her mom was the mentally ill one, but after meeting her, he thought that Michelle was the mentally ill one because her mother was completely normal. He also said that Michelle said that she wished her mother would die.

He seemed to have that on his mind for the majority of the meal, and seemed to soften his stance on breaking up his friendship with her.

We also talked about how Bob seemed lonely. He said Bob likes a girl from his company, but the girl doesn't like him. Apparently he asked her out on valentine's day and she turned him down. Shuing reckons it was because Bob seems intimidating, and probably didn't even smile when asking.

On our walk to Central, we talked about how Bob's view was that he would target a girl and then go for it willy nilly, when in reality it was the girl who chooses. He said Bob once said that he wished it was back in the times of cave man when you could just club a woman and drag her back to your cave.

He also returned to me Meet Joe Black and my Seinfeld DVD. I caught the bus home pretty damn happy, hehe.

I also found her on facebook. I knew she would have it, only because everyone seems to have it these days, but I had trouble finding her, as her name is pretty common. I found her through Kim. Her profile picture is of her wearing a hat down, half covering her face. It was kinda sexy, but not in a revealing way.

Hmmm...what's the next step? Ask her out to lunch?

The Alanna rapport

Took in my third frame today, my accounting degree. Hung it up in the morning, had a chat with Genie and then got to work. Alanna came in and had a chat with me about the list last Thursday at The Druitt, and we both whinged about the judge. She said she nearly made her cry and considered making a complaint.

I don't know why, but I feel like when we talk, it's like we're good friends who have known eachother for a long time, but the thing I've realised is, we haven't talked for one second about things outside of work, so it's been professional all along, but I just feel there's some really positive rapport there. It's like I can really relate to her, and I think she feels the same too.

I handed my second brief into her later on, and then got into working on replying to some reps. Shortly after that, Wendy came into my office to give me something similar, but which was due this Thursday back in court. She said it was Ruler's matter, and I just thought "goddamn part timers". Part time never works. It works for the person, but never for the office. It inevitably shifts work onto other people.

Katie was in today, but didn't see her. I think she and the other CT people went up to level 26 for some sort of meeting. Maybe that's what her friend was talking about?

When she came back, my plan was to wait for everyone in her area to go to lunch and then I'd approach when she was by herself - but then she went to lunch!

I ate my lunch in the office, and then went out for a walk at around the time she was supposed to be back (assuming she took all of one hour). I ended up buying a pack of lollies and when I returned I went to her area, thinking I'd use it to start a conversation,

Unfortunately only that Tim guy was there, and he droned on and on. I was hoping I could last until Katie came back, but I couldn't. One good thing though - he was wearing an engagement ring, so that kills my paranoia.

When I returned to my desk I saw that she had returned a few moments later. Grrrrrr.

I spent the rest of the day doing the file Wendy had given me and finished it, but haven't handed it in yet because she was leaving when I finished it, and also I want to have a look over it tomorrow.

At the end of the day I heard Tim talk to Maria about yum cha and catching a taxi there, and she asked who was going and he said whoever was on that list.

ZOMG is something being organised which Katie is going to?? INVITE ME!!!

I guess that would be a benefit of befriending Tim, if he was the guy who organises things like this.

After work I went home, changed, and went for a mile jog, then went to the gym.

I really wanna wear my vest tomorrow, because I'm feeling sooooo Joe Black =)

My surprise return

Yesterday morning I went to get some bread as well as to pick up my frames. I was afraid the place wouldn't be opened yet, but their door was slightly ajar so I slid it open to see that dodgy looking guy at the back. I said hello and he didn't seem to remember who I was. He asked me if I was the one with the gold frames and when I said they were silver, he started flipping through the paintings. As he was doing that he asked for my name and when I told him, he remembered and got me my frames. The borders had been pretty well done (much better than me doing it myself) and he told me briefly how to put things in. He handed them to me and I walked out of the shop.

I had breakfast at home and waited till about 11:30ish to go out for my surprise return. Shuing had asked me to get there by 11:45am, so I was a bit late, but luckily they were running late as well.

I caught the bus out and walked to the restaurant, and on the way stopped to watch a bit of lion dancing in Chinatown. The beat of the drums always seems to pump me up a bit.

I went to the restaurant and walked straight in, seeing them at a table on the left. Most of them had spotted me already, but G and Brain had their backs to me, so I went up from behind G and said to him "is there room for one more?" He looked up and said "what the fuck?" LOL!

I sat down next to him, and Michelle asked if I had made up. Shuing had told them that it was Bob's surprise birthday party so they were obviously still under that impression, and I was just another attendee. Shuing then revealed his devious plan, and I told everyone that I had returned because of my new job. Shuing also invited me to let them know that it was my shout.

Going clockwise around the table, it was me, G, Brain, Shuing, Michael L, Eva and Michelle. Eva told me that Ele was worried about me because I hadn't answered her calls, thinking that something had happened to me, and that Ele had asked Michael L to call me (he didn't). I just nodded and didn't say anything, thinking that either Ele had told Eva a lie or Eva was telling a lie. Ele knows why I didn't pick up. It made me sick and disgusted to even think about it. That was so in the past now.

Shuing looked pretty happy with his efforts. G seemed like the happiest to see me, as did Eva. I could see Michelle's brain recalibrating to figure out how my now-permanent presence in Sydney would affect her personal position. So manipulative. She said something about me not answering her calls when her place flooded, and I refrained from saying that I didn't know anything about insurance anyway.

Anyway, we started ordering and talking about my new job, and found out that Eva was leaving this coming Friday because she's going to China for a three month internship. It just seems like it's so hard these days for everyone to be here at the same time.

I didn't want to, but the main talks were about my cases and that. I wanted to talk about how everyone was. G told me a bit about his trip to Cairns. Brain is always hard to get talking. Shuing was too far away, and I wanted to wait until we were alone to talk about more interesting things. We talked a bit about Michael L's and Eva's new place, but they were too far as well. I wanted to ask Michelle about her trip to New York, but wanted to avoid that whole credit card fiasco.

I asked Michelle why her bag was so big and she said she had clothes inside. When I asked why she had clothes and she said it was because she's staying at another's place, I stopped, not wanting to get into a whole drama, suspecting that it may have something to do with her mother.

We had a pretty good meal, and when the bill came, it was just over $250. I had left home with $250 in my wallet, thinking that it was enough, but luckily, I had decided to be safe and withdrew another $50 just before I arrived at the restaurant. I didn't mind shouting; in fact, it gave me an appreciation of money. It felt a lot better to shout my friends yum cha than to spend on whores.

After yum cha we decided to head to Michael L's place for some board games. I suggested celebrity heads, having seen it on Inglourious Basterds and wanting to play it.

Michael L and Eva caught a train back to their place while G drove the rest of us there (we only had one car). It was a bit funny when we got there, because G called Eva's phone, saying "we're outside your place", only to realise it was another girl because Eva had given her phone away, lol. We also got a bit of a scare when there was mention of Linda's car, and Shuing and I joked that we had been sprung and wanted out. Apparently Linda had left her car there for Michael L to use while she was away.

We caught up with Michael L and Eva later, and went to their place. It was a small unit in an apartment complex. It was a nice enough place, but it was small. The bedroom and the lounge seem to be connected. It was like just one large room with a bed in one area, lounges and tv in another, along with the kitchen, none of which is separated by walls or doors. I suppose it was sufficient for a couple like them.

We played this board game called Settlers, which was interesting enough. I kept looking at their bed and wondering what it'd be like to live in a place like this with, say, Ele or Katie. I don't think I could do it. Maybe it had to do with the size of it, but I just couldn't picture myself spending the rest of my life with someone else in such close proximity. An example could be seen when I was in Lismore - when either Pandy or Kim were around, I tended to stay in my room more often. I liked to be by myself. So how was I going to live with someone else?

Also during the game, Eva and Michael L would have small disputes, which made us all a little awkward. I felt that Michael L was a bit rude to her at times, but I also felt that she played the "husband" card too much. What she would do is demand favours from him in the game, merely because he was her husband. It's cute once, but if you keep doing it then it's annoying and tyrannic.

Michelle left during the game, because she had to go somewhere. I watched as she hugged Eva goodbye. She didn't look good. I don't think she was happy that day, but her face just didn't look good. Call me superstitious, but I think I caught a long glimpse of what Ding's fortune teller saw. Her face is very...bitter. I don't mean she's a bitter person or has bitter traits, but if faces were an indication of our future, she had a bitter one.

Shuing left after we finished the first game because he had soccer, and we played another game. I then suggested again celebrity heads, and so we went out to get some post it notes and pizza.

It was lucky that G came along, because then it would've been just Michael L and I, and I would've struggled to make conversation.

When we returned with dinner, we played celebrity heads as we ate the pizza. We played three rounds in total, and I only got mine in the last round. In the first round I was Jennifer Lopez, and when told that I wasn't white, black or Asian, that really stumped me. I was the Green Power Ranger in the second round, and them saying I was from a video game led me down the wrong path. Because Brain and I kept losing, we asked for easy ones so I got Jessica Alba in the third round and guessed it right.

I realised during the game that it reflected in some degree a person's social intelligence. In other words, if you were stupid, then it was gonna show. I think Shuing would be good at it. Michael L is good at it. I suck at it. Brain gives up too easily. He can't even think of basic questions to ask. I think Michael L was worried that Eva wouldn't know many people.

I designated her as Ele in the second round, which she guessed. I saw that afterwards, she made a phone call, speaking in Mandarin, and checking her computer. I wonder if she called Ele to let her know that I had chose her in celebrity heads.

We watched X-Men on tv during the third round, and then a bit of Predator after that, before Brain suggested going because he had to go to work the next day.

G drove Brain and I home, and got pulled over on the way in a random breath test. I can't believe G keeps complaining that he gets selected when his car is made to attract attention.

All in all it was a good day, but I just wish I could've gotten the chance to speak with Shuing a bit more.

Today I went for a mile jog, couldn't be bothered doing the HIT training on the last stretch. Upon returning home, I immediately started washing my car. It is sooo clean now, hehe.

After that, I bummed around at home a bit, finally eating breakfast, and then taking a nap.

In the afternoon I went to the shopping centre near me to watch Shutter Island. The trailer looked good so I had been looking forward to it. The first 75% of the movie was good, but then the twist had pretty much been done in other movies (ala A Beautiful Mind) and I felt that kinda ruined it towards the end. It would've been better had Leonardo DiCaprio been right.

After the movie I went to that bbq ribs place near my house to get dinner for my mom and sister. That place has been there for longer than we have, and I've always been meaning to try it, so thought this was a good chance. All my mom kept saying was how it wasn't as good as food in Hong Kong, which made me realise that she was one of those ungrateful people. She's never happy or content with anything, can't appreciate the present, and always has negative things to say instead of positve things. Must not be like her.

Katie is leaving?!?!?

I got to work at about 8:30am yesterday, still somewhat mentally exhausted from the previous day's list. I was looking forward to a day in the office, kinda like having played most of the game and you finally get a rest on the bench.

Anyway, I was doing some work when I overheard that really young girl-ish voice of Katie's friend. Damn she sounds like a cartoon character. I reckon she could be the voice for a children's cartoon.

She was talking to Paul, and this bit caught my attention: "Libby's going, Katie's going..."

Katie's going?!?!?!

It sounded like she was voicing some concern about being lonely, but...what the hell? What was that supposed to mean? Where is Katie going??

That numbed my mind for a while, but when I saw Katie sign onto the online roster I cheered up. Just seeing that green status made me happy. I didn't even need to see her, I was just glad she was around.

Around lunchtime, I was reading my brief when I heard some soft knocks. I thought one of the admin ladies outside my room had just placed a cup on their desk or something, but when it repeated I turned around and saw Karinna there.

I smiled and she came in, and I noticed that after the initial eye contact, she looked away, then back at me. I know I've done that to people before. Did it mean she thought I was attractive?

I asked her how her sev appeal went, and she said that they decided to let an agent do it since she had never done one before. She looked disappointed. She asked me how my list went and I told her. I was appreciative that she came over for a chat. I've been meaning to get on good terms with her seeing that we're both in the same team under Alanna.

After the chat she said she was going out for a bite and left. She has this shyness that makes you want to hug her and take care of her. Quite cute.

Since the end of Thursday I had been meaning to go have a chat with Emma about her day at The Druitt, but didn't seem to get around to it. As luck would have it, when I went out to lunch I bumped into her at the lifts and we talked a bit about our day at The Druitt. She's from a really really big corporate law firm, wonder why she gave up all that money to come to a government job. I noticed she was more attractive than I first thought.

We parted ways when she went into the food court nearby, and I went to Market City for lunch. I had a laksa which was ok, and then had a bit of a walk around the shops before going back to the office.

I felt good about having so many girls at work. I've never been in a situation like this. It made me feel good about my decision about Ele, but funnily enough, it also made me angrier (whereas before this job started I wasn't really angry, but content).

At the end of the day I went down to see Carmelo to give him my half of the files. I think I acted like I kinda backed off our friendship a bit. I just felt that I had maybe said too much the day before. But he emailed me later about a file, and we seemed to end on a good note.

I stayed till 6pm. At first it was because I was meeting Rom Rom and Hayley in the city for drinks, but then I actually really got close to finishing a file and I made myself finish it before I left. Wendy came by and said "young [insert name here], you know you're allowed to go home". I like how she calls me "young [insert name here]" lol.

Anyway, I went to the place beneath CW's office, and was a bit annoyed that I was the first one to get there, because Rom Rom had organised it and Hayley worked just above it.

I felt a bit awkward as a I sat there by myself, sipping my coke and looking at the menu of $18 calamaries. I bet their coke cost like $5.

A short while later, Hayley and Rom Rom arrived. We hugged and said our hellos, and sat down for our drinks. We did a bit of catching up about the sentences our guys got, my new job and Hayley's new job. Hayley kept talking about how she couldn't understand why her boss disliked her but then said things like how she had another firm's client go to her office (duh!) and about dissenting with the views of her boss. Ummm...are you serious you don't know why?

CW came down and joined us for a bit. He was still the old CW, funny as ever and cracking all sorts of jokes. He knew that I was in the CDDP, and made a few jokes about that. He didn't stay for long, as he was meeting someone else.

After a while we moved to another table outside and continued talking. It felt a bit more at ease now, as we talked about our feelings of how heavy the sentences were.

Later, they talked about going to a gig where Rom Rom's friend was playing, and I took the chance to say no, because I wanted the rest of Friday night to myself.

CW came by again, this time with a lady. He introduced her to us briefly before going into the bar. Then it struck me. That lady was Gretel Killeen!!! Fuck, I had just met a celebrity.

Malcolm arrived soon and I thought they'd leave as soon as he arrived, but he sat down for a chat. At first it was interesting, but then I just sat there thinking "can I go now?"

I guess we had to all wait for that break (because Rom Rom and Hayley were talking amongst themselves) where someone could suggest moving on. Finally Rom Rom did, and we went in to say goodbye to CW.

I parted ways with them and caught the bus home. I had been wanting to go out for a bit of 'fun', and that was still my plan, so I got the car and drove out looking for this particular place at Potts Point.

Because of the traffic, it took me a while to find it, and when I did, there was no parking available anyway, so I decided to move on. I then got the spontaneous idea to go north, remembering a place I had been to ages ago.

I spent a considerable amount of time trying to find it, and after a while, I remembered I had the internet on my phone, so I looked up their address and number, and ended up calling them asking about their rates and then decided I'd rather go to that massage place near my suburb.

So I drove all the way back and went to that place, met a few girls who didn't really strike my fancy. I guess I was looking for that half German girl I saw there once. Hmmm.

I left and went to my usual massage place. By now it was like 1:15am. The place was fully packed. They had nowhere for me to wait so they got out a chair and placed it right in the middle of the lobby area for me to sit. God it was so embarassing.

It got worse when a guy finished and waited right in front of me for his friend to finish.

I was just waiting to see someone I knew.

Please god no, please god no.

There was a bit of relief when he left, but then another guy arrived and they sat him right in front of me! By now I just thought it was kinda hilarious. Now I had done everything. This guy wasn't bad looking either. Somewhat similar to me I thought - short, Asian, think, had that boy-ish look which you'd never suspect about going to these type of places.

I was also curious to see how they worked the place. But seeing the girls give every customer the GFE (girlfriend experience) really put a damper on it. I guess guys who go out hold out this false hope that she only treats me this way, but the reality was right there in front of me - they treat everyone the same.

Both me and the slim Asian guy chose to wait instead of seeing that older girl, who I felt sorry for. I ended up with a girl called Chanel, who wasn't exactly young on closer inspection. I just wanted to get it over and done with anyway. I actually didn't enjoy it that much. Everytime I looked at her I thought about Katie. God what was happening to me?

Got home afterwards and was so tired I went to bed straight away. Hadn't even had dinner yet.

Assisting the Druitt list

I set alarms on both my phones last night just to make sure I'd wake up early today. I only needed one, and woke up at about 5:30ish. I had breakfast and got ready, leaving at about 6:40ish, getting to the office at 7am to pick up my trolley.

It was a big of a struggle to get it onto the train because it was so heavy. On the train I read up on some Cth law, and before I knew it I had arrived, half an hour early.

I stood outside waiting for a while before the court opened up. I walked through the scanners, somewhat proud of my new status.

I stood around waiting a bit more inside before Carmelo arrived. I told him it was just one court for our matters and the name of the judge. It was the same one that Yoj had made a complaint against.

Pretty much as soon as Carmelo got there people and lawyers started coming up to us to talk about their matters, and for me, it was like the beginning of chaos. It's hard for me to organise things, so it seemed like everything was everywhere. Carmelo, on the other hand, was very calm and spent time with everyone discussing their matters. I thought he took more time than he should've, but it was like he never ran out of time doing it. I really admired his calmness.

When we were let into the court, it was a struggle just to get the files organised. I tried to sprawl them on the floor in alphabetical order before the police pro told me the cofficer needed to walk there, so I started stacking them up in separate piles. I could feel a lot of sweat building up.

When the judge came in, I didn't think she looked very mean, and she was a lot younger than I had imagined. But her attitude shone through almost immediately. You could see that she could get ticked off very easily.

Carmelo did one of my matters, probably accidentally, and I thought that it'd be easier if we kept it that way so as not to mix roles too much. I was pretty content just handing him the files. But then when one was mentioned, he gestured for me to do it, and I announced my appearance. It was just a mention anyway, but that was my first formal appearance as the CDDP.

I was nervous, and even though I had looked at the files the day before, all of a sudden I was lost for information. I didn't know where to go, where to write, and kept scrambling through papers looking for god knows what.

Before I knew it, morning tea had arrived. I thought we had done about half, but Carmelo said it was probably only about 10. He was probably right, but it just seemed like so many.

We talked during the break, which was a lot longer than expected for whatever reason. When it resumed we went through to 1:15pm before having our lunch break.

Carmelo had brought his lunch, so I suggested he come with me to lunch, and I ended up getting a hot dog from Wendy's, hehe. We sat in the food court and had a really good talk, about our past and the current office. Some things I found out:
- we went to the same uni
- the Chris guy who interviewed me is seen as a bit of a meanie, who likes to keep his distance from people
- Carmelo's Italian
- he used to work at Robin's firm before her, then opened up his own firm before going to the CDPP
- he is getting really bored working on just one big tax case, lol

It was a good lunch, I felt like I was talking to a friend more than a colleague. I felt that we got along really well.

We headed back to court and finished off our matters. One of mine, that Sarah lady from LAC at the end asked me which police station the fingerprint orders was said, and so I asked the judge, and she went off at me by repeating all her orders like I was a retard who was deaf.

I took it in stride and just ignored it. Afterwards when I told Carmelo I only did it because Sarah asked me to, he said it was "sly". I'm not sure if she did mean to, but she could've at least apologised afterwards, which she didn't. I recall not having a very good memory of her when working for Nom. I'm gonna hammer her clients next time we meet.

Carmelo got smashed by the judge as well, when one person was sent down to the cells, and he forgot to ask for an order (and spilling his water, lol!) and she got mad because she had to bring the person back up. I watched as she held her pen and pointed it at Carmelo as she chastised him for his lateness in bringing it up.

I sat there thinking that people like these, people who have to spent energy and time belittling people, being condescending and demeaning, have problems. I used to think it was me, but it's them. I don't know, maybe they weren't hugged as kids. But it's like she was out to prove she knew more than anyone else. It's easy to shit on people below you, but not easy to do to people above you. Big person she is.

I ended up doing two sentences today, both I didn't make any submissions. I just didn't feel the need to, and the judge's results were pretty fair.

Also, my knee was hurting through the entire list. It was this heavy-bearing ache that wouldn't go away. I kept telling myself to quickly pay off my debts so I can save up for the operation.

I was so relieved when we got through it at the end of the day. I couldn't believe it! We went to the registry to get some final paperwork before heading to the office car Carmelo drove in. We planned to put both suit cases into the back seat, and he was surprised that I lifted one by myself.

He gave me a lift back to Stratty. He said I could leave the suit cases in the car so I could go home, but I opted to take my one. We had a really cool chat in the car as well, just about our past experiences as defence. Wow, we have so much in common!

I caught the train from Stratty back to the city, and dropped the suit case off in the office. I checked the roster to see that Katie was at work today and had left at 4pm.

I left the office shortly afterwards and went to the supermarket to get some canned pineapples as my mom had requested. I caught the bus home and then got changed to go for a mile jog. As I was approaching the lights, I decided to maneuver around a tree branch and slipped a bit on the kerb. Some guy driving by laughed out loud. I stopped at the traffic ligths and smiled, almost laughing to myself because I could see the humour in it.

But it was the beginning of the last stretch, and that just gave me motivation to go hard. I started off a lot faster than last time - this time it was much closer to a sprint. On and off every 10 seconds. I thought about it earlier - it really wasn't that hard, it's pretty much what you do in bball anyway.

After that I went to the gym, then bought some chicken to take home to eat. The lady gave me some free potato cubes, which I thought was nice of her. Sure, she was probably going to throw them out anyway, but it made me think that if I ever wanted to buy anything of that sort, I'd go to that shop.

Mmm...I am so glad today is over!

The lolly thing again

I was going to meet Stanley for lunch today, so didn't need to pack my own. I did however, debate as to whether I should take an apple. I should because it should be my healthy habit, and I shouldn't because I wanted to check out the Asian grocery store before I go into work and I didn't want to walk in there with an apple.

Why did I want to check out the grocery store? Because I wanted to get some candy to pass around the office (read: Katie). But then I thought that I should come up with a better way to impress/chat to her without having to resort to buying things, so I took my apple.

Today was the earliest I had ever gotten into work - 8am. I had a quick look through the five files for tomorrow, and then started working on my second brief. I had woken up with a headache, so I had to battle through that to concentrate. I kept thinking about that "eat pain, shit success" quote on my way to work so that helped.

I was pretty relieved when 1 o'clock came around, and when Stanley called I went down to meet him at the bank. We went to the World Square for lunch, trying an Asian restaurant at first, where I saw Kimberley (who is on leave) with a couple of colleagues waiting, and when we were told we had to wait, we just went to Nando's.

We had a good catch up, I think he's finally settled into the reality that not everyone gets to work in a big law firm with high starting salaries. We talked about some good times in Chinese school, about work, and about Hong Kong/China. I didn't like that story he told me about the triad though, I'm not sure if it's real or not, but I get the feeling he still has that little bit of immaturity by showing off.

After lunch I said I wanted to check out the grocery store so we went, and I ended up buying a pack of lychee candy which was pretty damn expensive.

He walked me back to my office, and I bumped into two ladies from my office, so I offered them the lollies and one of them took one, hehe. It has started!

I offered them to the admin ladies closest to me, and they were all surprisingly receptive of it. I walked to the para area where Terese works and offered her and Grace some, and they also accepted, hehe.

I finally went to Katie's area and...damn, she wasn't around. I offered them to the guys there but they didn't want any.

I went back to my desk to see that Katie and her friend had gone out to lunch.

Good timing mate.

I split my time between working on my brief and chasing files up for Carmelo. One time I was in his office talking, and Rodney comes by and says "what are you doing here?" LOL!

I told him I started work last week and we shook hands and had a chat. Carmelo said he had also gone up against Rodney as defence, and then Rodney joked that we had tried to take him down but he was still standing, lol. It was good to see him, but I couldn't help but notice his single vampire teeth standing out right in the middle. Hmmm.

You know I didn't see Alanna AT ALL today? I had a few questions which I emailed her, but that was it. I hope she doesn't think I'm being rude, but I feel a little awkward whenever she's dressed showing her cleavage.

Anyway, at 3pm I finally figured out something in my brief, which was like a break through, so I decided to reward myself with an apple break. As I ate it, I walked to Therese and wanted to sign off for a phone but she was on a phone, so I walked over to Katie's area.

The guy doing his TLP looked at me and smiled, and I asked him what the difference was between this area and Therese's area. As soon as I said that, Katie turned around and looked at me. He said he didn't know but pointed me to this guy called Tim.

I walked over to him and was standing in the middle of the open area and he was telling me about how they were pretty much admitted lawyers but just didn't have the official title, about how they do what we do except go to court and all that. He seemed pretty intent on making it clear that they weren't there just to photocopy, lol.

All this time Katie had turned around facing me, and her friend did too. I glanced over at Katie occasionally, and yep, the body language was there - facing me, feet pointing towards me, leaning forward, watching me.

I just kept nodding to the guy, trying to somehow think of a way to get Katie involved in the conversation. I told them I thought they had a pretty easy job during the trial, and they laughed, hehe, but that Tim guy just kept on talking and talking while I just chewed away at my apple.

His main concern was about working as a para, but doing the lawyer's work and not getting the recognition for it. I couldn't help but feel that I was somehow an intruder, someone who had taken the job they had applied for. Hmmm. So Katie was admitted eh? Interesting.

I noticed Katie turned back around to her computer after a while of not being involved, and after a while I managed to break free and return to my desk. Tim said to come around any time, and I said I will because I had lots of candy, and I noticed Katie turn her head just as I left.

After that I felt pretty good that I had made an effort to get to know those people, but in terms of Katie it was mission failed. I also couldn't help but wonder, "had the guy just AMOGed me?"

Late in the afternoon, after coming back up from Carmelo's office, I saw on the roster thing that Katie was the only left in her area.

Ok, it's now or never.

I grabbed a lolly and walked to her area. She was working on the computer.

Me: Hey.

She turned around. I quickly dropped the lolly onto her desk.

Me: I was giivng these out earlier when you weren't here.

Her: Oh thanks [insert name here].

She said that with a big, fresh smile on her face.

1. I don't think I have ever heard her say my name.
2. Could saying my name be a sign of interest?
3. She said it with...a degree of awkwardness, my name, that I almost detected some sort of shyness due to attraction.

Yes, I'm thinking too much.

I walked back to my desk and did some more work. Later I realised that my suitcase was going to be too heavy to take home, so I decided to try to work out how to disarm the alarm so I could come in early tomorrow morning to pick it up.

Not many people left in the office, so I went to Katie and asked.

I knew this would be a big mistake, because you had ended it perfectly before, and, this would be the third time in one day that you were going to her area unncessarily - it gave a hint of implied desperation/showing your cards.

I asked her if she knew the code and she said "sorry, I would tell you if I knew it". I said thanks and walked off to find the next person.

How could she not know it? She's been working there long enough.

I went to Wendy and asked, and she gave it to me. She also asked me how things were going, in that boss-kinda tone. She reminded me of Nom a bit. When I answered I felt like I was answering to Nom.

Anyway, I left work at 6pm and went home. I have such a headache. I'm beginning to think it was a mistake volunteering for tomorrow - 46 matters with two horrible judges, and this is my first time. Great.

I'm going to sleep now, but at least I'll have something to think about :)

Finishing my first brief

This morning I handed my first completed brief in to Alanna. Ah it feels good, but I'll be ready for a lot of red crosses.

I felt that I had slightly stepped out of line, and so I wanted to demonstrate my professionalism, so I just left the file on her desk and smiled, even though I think she half expected me to say more.

This may sound strange, but I am also slightly annoyed at the tops she wears, because they very much show her breasts. Why does this annoy me? Because everytime I ask for help, when I stand next to her when she's sitting down, I have to consciously look away, not only because she might think I was taking a peek, but anyone walking past might think the same thing.

I went to lunch with Kylie today. I had brought my own lunch, but she messaged me after I got to work and so we organised just to eat our own thing at Hyde Park. We sat near the water, and I pictured asking Katie to go there one day.

We just talked about work, she wanted to know what the CDDP was like obviously. I felt sorry for her that she may be out of a job soon, wish there was something I could do.

After lunch I returned to my office, working through my second brief very slowly.

Katie didn't come into work today for some reason. At first I thought she was just coming in late. Then I thought she was doing it deliberately so she can stay late with me. Then it was just too goddamn obvious she wasn't coming in at all.

I realised today that I'm kinda subconsciously disappointed about this work place. Unlike Lismore, they didn't even have a morning tea to greet me, just an email from the boss welcoming me and others. And unlike Brendan, who would come over and have a chat with me occasionally, my boss only came by once, and it was to tell me not to talk about my old case. Hmmm. It just feels like a...colder environment.

I met a guy called Carmelo on level 8 today. I'm going to be assisting him with the list on Thursday, so I went to see him to have a chat. He seems like a nice guy, so nice that I think he may be gay. I thought it was kinda funny how he was treating me like very new-ish, when I had probably been to that court more than he has (I think this is his first time going there). He expressed some desire about working for the DDP when I told him I had come from there, whinging a bit about how he had been in one big tax case for the last two years. Different people like different things I guess. I think I prefer one big case over many little ones.

We've got 46 matters on that day, I don't know how the fuck we're going to get through it all.

At the end of the day I had a nice chat with Genie, who taught me a bit about doing a list, and most of it was what Carmelo had already told me, but there were some good extra pointers.

Oh, and I have this feeling that Terese the para has a bit of a crush on me. Whenever she sees me she does this cute thing where she like shrivels up and smikes shyly at me. I asked her to show me how to use the hole puncher today and she was pretty eager to, but then I stupidly left a file later on asking them to hole punch it, so now she probably thinks I'm a dick. I was kinda half hoping, at that stage, that Katie would come in and do it for me and bring it into my room, hehe.

After work I caught the bus home, and one of Spawn's older friends, the blind guy, got on during the trip. I was hoping he wouldn't recognise me, because the bus was packed and I would've been really embarassed to talk to him, given the way he spoke last time. I'm not sure if he recognised me or not, but he didn't initiate anything, thank god.

I went home, got changed, and went for a mile run. I stopped at basically every traffic light due to traffic, which annoyed me, so on the last stretch, I decided to do the high intensity thing I read about recently, so I ran as fast as I could for 10 seconds, jogged seconds, and ran as fast as I could again for 10 seconds and so on until the end.

Note how I say "as fast as I could" instead of "sprinting", because I don't think I can sprint anymore :( At best, it seems like it is a 'run'.

After that, I went to the gym. I could see that some of the muscles in my arms were coming back. It's almost as if they've been asleep, and only now they're waking up.

17 years

Yesterde I wanted to go shoot some hoops, but my knee was aching and I kept asking myself "do you really think you can play with a knee like this?" which deterred me.

I ended up washing my car and finished just in time as I felt a few drops of rain towards the end.

Later I went to rent a video. Maybe because it was Valentine's Day, or maybe because I'm beginning to fall for Katie, that I felt like watching Romeo and Juliet. But they didn't have it, so I rented Inglourious Basterds instead. After that I went to the shopping centre near me to buy a lunchbox for work and a small jar to hold lollies in, as well as a can of Pringles for the movie.

I returned home to watch the movie, and had a jolly old time eating Pringles with coke during it. It was a pretty good movie, was a bit more violent than I had expected (I sure as hell didn't expect to see scalps being cut off), but that was more than offset by the story, the performance of Brad Pitt, and the two blonde ladies.

I find that I'm really beginning to like Pitt now. He's very versatile as an actor. I think he doesn't get as much credit as is due because he's seen more as a poster boy than as an actor.

I went to sleep last night trying to think about the past 'experiences' with Katie, with the help of my blog. I think her interest is quite high.

I woke up today thinking about going for a jog even though it was raining, but then decided to give my knee a bit more rest.

I packed my lunch and went off to work holding my lunchbox and lolly jar in tow on the bus. It felt like I got to work early because the lights on my side of the office hadn't even been triggered on by anyone yet, but it was as late as 8:15am.

I got to work pretty much straight away, broken only once by a visit by Alanna. Just out of courtesy, I asked how her hearing last week went, and she started going on and on about it and telling me a full story, when I only really wanted to know the short version. But she speaks in such a way that I feel I can be good friends with her, which may be a mistake.

She also told me that our boss Stevens didn't mean to be rude that day when he told me about not talking about my old case, and I said I didn't think he was.

Throughout our conversation, I realised she wasn't actually as pretty as I first thought. I was probably just taken aback by the fact that she was blonde with a nice body - not exactly the type of person I get to talk to everyday. But I was seeing her more as a person now, and not just another hot girl. I saw the bright personality she possessed, and throughout I kept wondering whether I should offer her a gummi bear.

I knew I shouldn't, because the mood just didn't seem 'right'. But as she left my office, I made the stupid mistake anyway. When she declined, I was mentally slapping my head, saying I had ruined it. All this time she had kept it professional, and now she thinks you're trying to hit on her. She thinks you like her, when all she was doing was being your supervisor.

I really wasn't. I just wanted to start the whole lolly jar thing again.

I ate my lunch staring out my window. That took about half an hour, and I returned to work. I didn't even go outside. I finished the file at the end of the day. I had to go to Alanna's room to get a folder to photocopy. She took me through it briefly when all she could've done (and what I had expected) was to shove me the folder. But I guess at least she doesn't think I was hitting on her? Cause I really don't want her to think that.

I spent the late afternoon photocopying the folder. I guess I could've put it in the para tray and asked them to do it, but I wanted to return the folder to Alanna as quickly as possible.

I kept checking the roster and saw that Katie was still at work, but she left at 5:30pm.

I have this totally unreasonable suspicion that she's going out with a guy in her section. It is totally unfounded. I have never even seen them together in one spot. I have seen her twice since my arrival, and I met the guy today. Seems like a nice enough guy.

The only reason I have my suspicion is because his name is close to hers on the roster (and so is mine) which is arranged alphabetically. See how fucking paranoid I am? Maybe this all stems from the whole Emilee thing.

I get so paranoid that I note the times that they both go to lunch and come back, and picture them sneaking out together.

God I'm awful.

I also keep telling myself that, on the one hand, I should approach her to talk to show my interest. But on the other hand, I should abstain and refrain, and to let her come to my office if she was really interested.

Then in further support, I tell myself that I'm at work, and I have to be professional, and I can't start anything with someone at work. That seems to give me strength.

In the middle of the day, DC called me and told me what our client got.

17 years to serve.

It hadn't hit me then, but it hit me after he hung up (or, disconnected rather, hopefully by a bad connection).

Seventeen years. Damn.

I calculated that I'd be 44 when he gets out, and he'll be 42.

That's a very, very long time.

I kept working but it nagged me in the back of my mind. It was like the back of my mind wanted to cry. But I kept the working facade on.

It hit me more when I got home. How does it feel to sleep knowing that you had a hand in someone's demise?

My first CDDP brief

Friday at work was kinda good, cause I finally got my first brief! I got three actually, but you know what I mean.

Rat came in at 10 and sat down with me for nearly three hours taking me through one, and it was like blasting a million bits and pieces of information into my head and I was trying to catch it all but obviously couldn't. It's probably a guy thing, but I couldn't help but look into her eyes at times and think she was kinda attractive. Not that I wanted to do anything, cause she's going on leave to get married, but it was just a recurring thought.

I really appreciated her help. At first I thought she was going to have the "I'll get this quickly over and done with so I can do my own stuff" attitude, but she really went through it thoroughly and took her time to explain things to me. I was, however, kinda sad that it wasn't Alanna who 'inducted' me, because she was, afterall, my supervisor. Now all kudos will have to go to Rat.

After that I went out to lunch, I felt like that pepper lunch place again so I went. When I went in, there were three girls ordering together, and I lined up behind the one on the far right. I sensed some girls enter after a short while, and they lined up a bit to my left.

When the girls ahead of me finished ordering, the waitress asked "next" and the girl behind me just walked straight up and started ordering. I couldn't believe that she didn't even ask me if I was next. I just turned around and walked out. A guy looked at me, knowing what had happened, and gave me a sympathetic smile.

Seriously, you'd never get that type of rude people in Lismore.

I ended up going to a Japanese restaurant for lunch, had ramen and a lemon ice tea. It was good, but what had happened earlier had taken away my appetite.

I returned to my office and got started on the brief. I don't think it is as hard as it looks, once you get used to all the crazy looking letters (they look like html code).

I got a bit done before realising it was getting to the end of the day. Turk came over and had a chat with me, which I appreciated. We basically got to know eachother's past. Apparently she had a stint in Marsdens, so she knows Elleon and the other fat girl. We had both forgetten her name and were too embarassed to describe her as fat, lol. She's also heard of Nom's firm, and reckons we may have come across eachother in the past. I wouldn't be surprised.

When she was showing me how to read the letters, I noticed a ring on her ring finger. I wasn't interested in her (even though she is kinda attractive), but it was good to know that we were both only looking for a professional, platnoic supportive friendship. Because we're all a bunch of new grads, I feel that we're pretty compatible in terms of helping eachother out and sticking together through this.

Katie took the day off as leave. I wondered if she was going away for a romantic three day weekend with her boyfriend? Or maybe she just wanted a day off? Who knows? Stop thinking so much.

After work, I walked around the city a bit, bought Joe Black at JB H-Fi, then went home, got changed, and then Shuing came and picked me up for dinner. I had organised it with him the day or two before, but he told me earlier that it was Eva's birthday dinner, and I told him to go to that instead (no one else knows I'm back apart from him and Malay, who is in Malay), but then he decided to go to dinner with me instead.

We went to a Vietnamese restaurant in Marrickville for some pho. It was good pho, it's something you can't get in Lismore so I had been craving it.

Throughout dinner we talked about Spawn, and how we could resolve the problem. We both wanted to help, but the thought of help turning into harm always kept us at bay. My solution was to find a compromise, whereby we could just 'refer' Spawn to a group of friends. Of course, it'd be pretty hard to 1) direct Spawn to a group of people without actually going yourself; and 2) have a group of people accept a stranger without going yourself.

We touched on some interesting generalisations as well, about how Spawn and Michelle were similar in that they weren't grateful, which in turn made them hate the people who tried to help. The only difference was that Michelle is likeable, Spawn is not.

The talk dominated the night's conversation, and when we were finished, he insisted on paying, which I didn't like, so I said I'd buy him a Happy Cup. But that place was closed when we got out of the restaurant, so I said I'd buy him an Easyway.

We drove to his place first so he could drop off some food he had gotten for his parents, and then we went to Chinksford. It was embarassing because at Easyway, Shuing used his card and the guy told him that he could redeem two free drinks, lol, and I was thinking "god, that would mean he'd pay for the entire night" and I told him to just redeem one, so I only paid for mine.

We sat down and chatted for a bit, before the mosquitoes became too overwhelming for him, so we went into his car to talk. We talked more about Spawn/Michelle, and then it started raining. At first we ignored it, but then it got heavier and heavier, until it was so bad that I suggested we go home.

He drove me to my place, and on the way we could see that it was actually flooding! I was a little excited because I'd never seen it flood in this area before, and here we had water going up above the kerb!

He drove past my place accidentally, and the road in front of us seemed to be too flooded for cars to proceed, as a lot of cars had stopped and refused to go past that point. So I suggested he just park at my place and come up, so he did a u-turn and parked on the driveway.

Again, two things here which suggests Shuing's flaw as lack of knowledge or coordination about certain things: 1) when we were sitting in his car talking, he tried to turn the air-con on so the windows wouldn't fog up. The windows kept fogging up until I realised later that he had only switched on the air flow, not the actual air-conditioning; 2) I told him my drive way was the left of the Saab, but he parked on the right of the Saab.

Anyway, he came up and we watched Meet Joe Black. It was all good until Michelle called him. He looked at his phone and then looked at me, and didn't answer it. From then on, he wasn't focussed on the movie at all. He was thinking about what she wanted and why she was calling. She called again and then he answered. He went away to talk for a while. I checked my phone and saw that she had also called me twice and left a message, something about a legal problem.

Shuing came back and said Michelle's house was flooded, and wanted him to call her back so she could talk. I returned to watching the movie, but Shuing kept wondering whether he should call her back. I told him to just ignore it, and use the excuse that his place was flooded as well so he didn't have time to call her back.

He liked the idea and used it. This was another example of Michelle's selfishness. Even though it was midnight, just because her house had flooded, she didn't give a rat's ass that I may be sleeping, so she calls me up wanting to know her house insurance situation re floods. Surely something like that could wait until after the flood?? I mean, when people's houses are burning down, they don't call their lawyers asking what their legal position is, do they? They try to stop the damn fire!

We checked on the weather and the rain had stopped, and it was ok for him to go home. I lent him the movie and he drove off.

Yesterday I was in the lounge room putting on my shoes getting ready for a jog. My door was open, and when I glanced out I saw a sporty blonde woman coming up the stairs. I think she was looking in as well. Anyway, moments later she came to my door, and asked if my place flooded and looked in. It was a mess, but it wasn't done by the flood, lol. She said it might come back and to sweep the water out or something if it did. I noticed her big smile as she spoke.

I told my mom and she said someone had moved in next door, so hmmm.

I went for a mile jog, then had breakfast and shower at home, before going to the gym. I only went on the bike for 15 minutes this time, deciding that I'll proceed slowly with my knee.

After gym, I went home and grabbed my frames and went to a framing place to have borders cut. The guy seemed a bit shonkey, but he said he'd do both for $30 and would be ready today, so that was a better deal than last time when the guy said it'd take him two weeks. I told him I'd get it next week anyway, and paid my $30. He didn't even give me a receipt. I hope this isn't his way of getting ugly, cause I left my certificate there.

I then went around wanting to watch Invictus. I went to the shopping centre near me, but they weren't even showing it, which seemed a bit weird. I drove out to Broadway, and in the shopping centre, as I was parking, I saw an old lady, maybe in her late 40's to 50's, looking at me. She had a very distasteful look on her face, like I was some young punk or something. As I was reversing, she yelled "stop!". After I got out, I saw that I still had plenty of space left behind me. I wondered whether I should appreciate her help, or be annoyed at her being a busy body and making the assumption that I couldn't park properly.

When I got to the cinema, I saw that the movie had just started, and there were too many people there to get a ticket quickly. I thought, "screw this, I just drove all that way and parked, so I'm gonna use my three hour free parking", and went looking for lunch.

I walked out of the shopping centre and down the street, knowing there were some good restaurants there, but there didn't seem to be any to suit my taste, so I settled for Subway.

After that, I went to K-Mart and bought a can of tyre shining thing, and then remembered that I hadn't returned the DVD The Hangover! I feared I had lost it, but then returned to my car and saw it in the front seat under some papers. Phew.

I really had nothing else to do, so I decided to go to that massage place. It was daytime anyway, so it was cheaper, and also, I was up to that 'free' period in my card, so I only paid $90 for the hour.

The girl, Vivian, as soon as we entered the room offered me this Korean cake thingy, because she was eating one as well for her 'dinner', as she claimed. It reminded me of the one Jenny/Emily gave me.

I think I went there more out of loneliness than anything else. I didn't need a massage, and I didn't need 'relief'. I just had nothing to do.

Afterwards, I went to return the movie, went home and had dinner. The thought of going to the casino had crossed my mind a few times, but the temptation wasn't really there.

So that's my first weekend back in Sydney.

The Katie introduction

Took my law testamur to work today, think I will take them one at a time.

When I got into the office, I checked the roster thing to see who was in, and noticed Katie wasn't in yet. I would glance up from my reading materials from time to time to see when she'd get in. It was getting later and later, and finally she signed in at about 9ish.

The boss of the department came and had a chat with me, and I think basically the message was, the trial hasn't exactly finished yet, so we want to keep up the 'appearance' that there is no 'conflict'. Message received. Even before I started this job, I told myself not to talk to them about the case. I didn't want to anyway.

A guy called Bruce came into my room to hang up those wires for my frames, which I really appreciated. He seemed a bit annoyed that another girl came in and asked him to do the same for her room, lol.

I went to lunch with Genie, Evissa and Gonaz in the level 7 kitchen. It was easy to get along because I knew Genie from uni, Evissa through Twish, and Gonaz was kinda easy going as well, but I get the impression that she can be a bit bitchy. I made the mistake of asking Evissa how a person could switch to other areas, and Gonaz laughed and said "you're already thinking of switching". Damn. But other than that, everything went fairly well, and I got a few laughs when I said my car smelled like mangoes because I had brought so many with me.

I didn't like how Evissa was talking in an infatuated way about this guy learning Farsi just to woo her and then saying that he wasn't her boyfriend and she wasn't committed. It may be true, but I found that very disrespectful, and it made me not want to pursue a girl if I knew she had said that.

I also got the impression that Genie has a boyfriend, so I have one less thing to worry about and can feel safe about being just friends.

What I seemed to dislike as well was the fact that I was there having lunch with three girls who felt free to talk about girl stuff. I would like to keep up a more masculine image and avoid the 'male girlfriend' image. Will try to avoid that situation from now on.

After lunch I felt like many others were out at lunch as well, so thought I'd take a walk around and talk to Katie if she was there. After all, it seemed only appropriate to have an introductory chat after commencing work.

As I walked along the path, I saw her standing at the end in her area talking to her friend and Pierra. She saw me and kept looking at me. I (luckily) had my glasses on so I smiled at her, and I think she smiled back.

God, this walk is so long.

I glanced casually away into one of the offices on the side, and looked back. She was still looking at me, but looked away once or twice to avoid awkwardness since it was such a long walk. But she definitely was looking more than not looking.

As I got closer and within speaking distance, I said "g'day". She asked "how's it going?" and I said "good" and asked her in return.

By now I could see she had been talking to the young Indian girl with the school girl voice and the older lady.

I said "must be weird to see a member of defence in here" and they all laughed and agreed. I then said "so are you all going on Monday?" [for judgment]

I told you NOT to talk about the fucking case you fucknut.

They shook their heads and Katie said "I'm out of CT now" and the older lady said she had asked but couldn't, and it was sad because she had been in it since committal.

I changed the topic and told them I had been in Lismore for the past three months, and the young girl asked if it was a three month contract and I said it had been a six month contract.

As we talked, I looked at them in even distribution but paid special attention when my eyes landed on Katie each time. Everytime I looked at her she had that same anticipatory smile on her face, and her eyes seemed to be smiling.

Dude, she is DEFINITELY into you.

I noticed that she seemed to be wearing quite a bit of make up, which didn't hide a pimple very well, and in fact, up close, I saw that she wasn't as young as I had thought. She in fact looked quite old. Hmmm.

I asked some stupid questions about the bathrooms and then excused myself by saying I needed to continue my walk.

On the computer roster I noticed she left early, and it saddened me a bit. I wonder where she had to go?

To be honest, I had a fairly productive day given that I've just been given the basics to read. Alanna told me Rat would give me a file in the afternoon, but I waited and waited and she never did. Finally I decided to go and ask her for it, but she was always on the phone, and then I finally decided to leave work at 5:30ish.

I took a walk around the city and Myer before catching the bus home.