Shuing's birthday getaway

Came back from the courts earlier. It was nice to just shoot around and muck around with the Jamal Crawford shake and bake without trying to do anything too serious. I actually made 25 set shot threes, because I think I need to get my three pointer back.

Anyway, it's time to recap what happened at the get away last week.

On Friday night Malay picked me up only to go back to his place to get some stuff as he didn't think we'd be leaving yet, but that had been my plan all along. I waited in his car till he got back, and by then the trunk was pretty full even though it was just stuff for both of us. Then we went to see Scope, as he bailed (claimed he had a migraine) he wanted us to pass on his present to Shuing. He also gave Malay and Bobs some plants, which I thought was kinda weird for him to be growing. I mean, he's not that starved for cash is he?

We then went to pick up Brain, and I really wanted to do this so we could take him shopping with us because I knew (and Shuing knew) that if we shopped without him, it would be hard to get the money from him. He actually even asked me if we were going shopping first when I messaged him saying we were gonna be there in a few minutes.

After that we went to Woolies at the shopping centre near me, and had a pretty fun shopping trip. It was just cool to push a trolley through the supermarket and grab anything we wanted off the shelf, at midnight, knowing we were going on a road trip. In hindsight, we probably got too much stuff, but at the time it seemed like what we had wouldn't even be enough.

Anyway, we then went to the city to pick up Thai, and off we went! I was pretty excited, but kinda sleepy at the same time, although I managed to stay awake throughout the whole trip. Surprisingly, it didn't take as long as I thought it would. We had a bit of trouble finding the place, but eventually spotted G's car parked in the driveway which was a dead give away.

Both Malay and I got a bit annoyed at Brain who grabbed some bags and ran straight in, not coming out to help again claiming it was too cold.

Once we got everything in, I was pretty excited to see everyone there, like G, Shuing and Wira. I felt like jumping on everyone's back because I was so excited. We unpacked some stuff, and I found my room - with a bunk bed of four. I initially asked G if I could have the one with the queen size bed, and he said yes, then remembered Bob and his girlfriend were coming. He couldn't think of a way to retract so I just offered to go into the bunk room.

The place was three storeys, with bedrooms on the basement and upper second floor. The ground floor was the lounge and the kitchen. Thai and Wira seemed to get into a sensible debate about something, and then Wira, Thai, Malay, Brain and I played video games until 4am. I went to bed but I think they kept playing.

We also showed Shuing our present, which was an ipod with songs from the 90's and an ipod dock to play it from.

I woke up at 7am, and went out with Malay to get some butter. When we returned, I made breakfast for the guys - scrambled eggs and bacon. It was raining pretty heavily, so we couldn't do much outside. We hung around the house playing video games, and then Shuing's parents arrived to prepare lunch.

The lunch was pretty full on, with lobster and salmon, and even Keen joined us. Shuing's mum kept trying to make conversation, and because I was next to her, I ended up having to do most of the talking. She actually offered G an IT job, but I think he was too dumb to accept it.

After that I went for a nap, only to wake up at about 7pm to find out Shuing's parents had gone, and Bob and his girlfriend had arrived. It was a bit awkward at first, I didn't know what to do, and I made my drowsy way to the kitchen to get a drink, then joined some of the guys playing video games, while Bob and them were at the table playing some board game.

Then we all played a board game together, which was alright but I didn't find it that fun. Then we played wasabi jenga! I briefly said hello to Bob's girlfriend, not knowing whether she knew our history. Even though I was happy to speak to Bobs, I think both of us have too much pride to make the first step.

After jenga we played another board game, which was going ok until Michael L decided to change the rules against the wishes of everyone. We all actually started making jokes about how this was a bad "DLC", how Malay had "rage quit" lol. I found that even against opposition from everyone, Michael L still had to go through with it. It was only until after one turn that he decided to play it the normal way again.

Some of the guys went to bed, and the 'gamers' stayed up to play video games. This time I went to bed at 2am. Shuing said to wake up at 6am so we could head down to the beach tomorrow. I heard someone's alarm go off at 6am, and then was woken up by Malay at 8am. To be honest I was quite annoyed at the way he woke me up, but oh well.

And then I was annoyed that Shuing wouldn't get up, because he was the one who wanted us up at 6am! This time Thai made some breakfast using all the skewers that hadn't been cooked yet, which was quite tasty, but unfortunately I wasn't that hungry. We then started packing up, and Shuing and G only woke up at around 10am.

Shuing started cleaning up while the rest of us mucked around on the balcony posing for some crazy and weird photos. My favourite is the one where I'm doing a "hadouken" to Thai and he's in mid-air falling backwards. He actually fell on his ass for that photo lol.

Another thing that annoyed me was Shuing kept saying we should put the left over stuff in Malay's car, when Malay's car was already full because we had already packed everything into it before he woke up.

We then took some group photos on the balcony. It was such a nice day, too bad the nice weather only came out on the day we had to leave.

Bob, his girlfriend, Wira and Michael L all left together, while the rest of us went down to the beach. I thought we were just gonna take a look, but Shuing wanted to play soccer. I noticed how enthusiastic G was in helping set up the portable soccer goals, and realised how close they had become.

I didn't want to play in my jeans, and didn't want to take my shoes off, so I kinda reluctantly played. It was harder than I thought because the sand always stopped the ball from rolling. After about 45 minutes, we packed up and left. Shuing and G wanted lunch, but I think Thai and Malay had to go, so we all drove off.

We went to Thai's house to drop him off. I wasn't gonna get out of the car as I had fallen asleep and was too tired, but Brain wanted to check out Thai's car, so we all went to have a look. It was a nice car, but it was also a shame that he didn't get his licence yet so it's been pretty much idle since he bought it.

I feel sorry for the dude, because he revealed to me that the reason he hadn't been going to the gym was because he and his wife found out she was pregnant with a child with down syndrome, so they had to let it go. I told him it was a tough decision, but I would've done the same thing. He said they didn't want to burden their current child to have to look after the one with down syndrome. It reminded me that I needed to quicken my pace in looking for a partner.

After that Malay dropped off Brain, and then me. I was glad to be home, and did miss my cats, but at the same time it was so awesome to spend a weekend away with my friends. Totally unforgettable.

Yes! Did it!

I just came back from jogging.

I didn't really want to go, since I knew it'd be a bit cold, even though it was past 8am. When I first started, I could feel the cold air was affecting my breathing. Even before I reached the cafeteria I was already struggling breath-wise.

But I told myself to keep going, and the only reason for stopping would be my knee. I managed to keep going, and in the second half of it I was breathing loudly, looking like a blow fish. I eventually finished, and was so proud that I did it, but as soon as I sat down at my usual rest place, the pain came rushing to my knee.

It was so painful that I had to stop walking at one stage as I made my way out of the park. But then closer towards home the pain seemed to dissipate.

Thus for the City2Surf there will only be one question: can my knee hold up?

First day at work!

On Saturday morning I went jogging with Malay at like 6am. To my surprise, I managed to do two laps without much trouble. Actually, we managed to do two laps without any trouble. He was barely puffing like me!

However, the only issue for me was, towards the end my knee started clicking and was in a bit of pain, but I mustered on as I really wanted to be able to do the two laps.

After that my knee hurt so bad, I had to go to the gym to use the bike. I felt like it was my medicine, and I needed it - desperately. I was limping now, but I just needed to get on that bike to feel good again. And indeed, I did, for a while, but the limp came back later in the day.

I was very questionable for the game on Sunday, but I decided to sleep on it before telling the team.

The next day, I woke up feeling ok but still had heaps of pain when walking down stairs. I told the team I would only play if we had four. But as usual, I ended up playing, and actually did ok. I even managed to outrun the other team on a fast break. We lost by about 15 points because they kept hitting threes, and I sat out like the last 10 minutes just talking to Nick on the bench.

Today was my first day at work at the new place. I bumped into Clare on the bus and we talked about work mainly. I felt a bit uncomfortable as she was sitting down, and I was standing up, and she had a sort of low cut top on.

I went to Macca's for breakfast, then went to the new office. I met the security guy Ian who seemed nice, then was introduced to HR guy Nick. I liked him because he kept talking on and on, which saved me from having to talk. What's more, he gave me a good history of the organisation, and pretty much hinted what the previous and current bosses were like.

He introduced me to everyone and at first I was ok with the names but then it got too much and I couldn't be bothered trying to remember them anymore. I was eventually shown to my office which looked bigger and better than my old one. I know this is wrong, but I kept thinking about the money. Like, I was thinking "damn, I'm getting paid this much to do nothing for the first day?" and "damn, I need to work really hard to prove I deserve this".

I also found out from Nick that I am replacing a girl who went on secondment, so chances of renewing this contract aren't high.

I left work at 5pm, and on the way to meeting Genie I bumped into Alex and we chatted a bit. I had to meet Genie because she found my red folder in my room, and she also gave me back one of my umbrellas.

Last day as the Cth

Monday
On Monday I had lunch with Alanna. We went to the same Japanese restaurant we went to last time. To my surprise, the conversation went a lot better. I thought last time there were times when I went silent and just looked away, but this time we just kept talking about everything. I gave her the present, and I think she was shocked at the value of it. She said she couldn't let me shout lunch, and indeed, she didn't, even though I put up a fight.

I also got Alex into my room and asked if he could keep a secret. He said yes and I gave him the cufflinks. I explained to him it had to be a secret because I didn't get anything for the other paras and also because I was Nathan's supervisor. I think he was touched. It actually had the potential to get quite emotional, I don't know why.

Towards the end of the day, I went into Genie's room to give her the book. I think she liked it, and she said she'd read it on the train home.

After work I went to buy a present for Mel, I got her a box of cards for the memory game, but the distinguishing thing about the game was the cards were all designs of high heels. I went back to work afterwards, then went to the gym, and thought about gambling.

Tuesday
At noon, I had arranged to meet with Sarah for coffee. I couldn't find her at first as I was downstairs talking to Heath, but turns out she meant for us to meet somewhere else. Anyway, we had coffee downstairs, and she told me a bit about going to the bar. I was interesting in the timing and the finance of it. Seems like I had gotten some mis-information, like me thinking that the wig cost $7000 whereas she said it's only about $700. She told me she was living with her uncle at the time, she had broken up with her boyfriend, and had about $12,000 so she took on a big risk. She said she thought if she failed at the bar then her life would've been really screwed up. I appreciated her honesty.

Given that information, seems like I could probably go now, but I guess it'd be better to do a year at the new job to save some more money first.

When we left, I think I had a bit of an embarassing moment. As I got up, I think there was a sweat mark on my seat, and I think she SAW IT as well. Oh fuck.

After that, I had lunch with Turk, Genie, Evisa, Gonaz and Maria. It was quite fun, cause Evisa was telling us about her trip and how she had met this French guy who was coming to Australia for her. It was interesting hearing the girls talk about guys, and how they all agreed to play hard to get.

At the end of the day, I gave the present to Mel as she was leaving, and she made a loud ruckus about it, and I think Canda heard it, which made me feel bad. Then I went to Mary's room to give her the Chanel perfume, and she was very grateful, and I told her she was a naturally great supervisor.

Then after work I had the Korean class, which I had blogged about in another entry.

Wednesday
Towards lunch, Canda messaged me out of the blue and asked if I was free for lunch. Guess she wanted to say farewell. I said sure, but I had to go to the bank first. So I went to the bank to deposit my coins, and then headed off to get her a present. On the way I bumped into Maria, who was on her way to buy a skirt for her job interview the next day, as the one she was wearing had a hole in it, pointed out to her by Avisa. We walked a bit along the street, before parting. Maybe it's just me, but I've felt that ever since she found out the salary of my new job, she seemed a bit more interested in me. Oh well, too bad.

I had messaged Genie to see if she was up for lunch as well, because I saw her finish at court earlier. I went to the chocolate shop and ended up buying Canda a fondue set. I met her and Genie and we went to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch. I had been there before with Ele and it was ok, but this time seemed different - the service was just downright bad, as we waited a long time for Genie's food and her drink came towards the end of the meal.

Anyway, conversation was ok, it got good when I brought up SEH, as I knew she had been giving Canda shit.

After work, I ended up going to the casino (again) and lost $900. I was initially up $300, but wanted to hit the $500 mark. Despite me going there with the intention of riding a streak, I found myself betting against a streak yet again. I was doing the usual sectors, and started betting against my non-sector when it reached three. It went eight times without hitting my sector, which killed me. On the very last one, I finally decided to ride the streak, betting on the non-sector, only to have it land on my sector.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

I was in a daze. This was my version of being drunk. I wasn't thinking clearly. I found myself walking to the massage place. I waited a while and saw a girl coming in for her shift. I thought she was ok looking, and she seemed pretty jumpy. She was shown to me and I picked her. Her name was Kara. I decided to go all out and paid for 90 minutes. It was a bit of a disappointment, because 1) she had tattoos 2) she didn't want to join me in the spa because it would ruin her make up and 3) she didn't really let me do anything during the "happy ending" part.

Goddamn, I just blew $1250...

Thursday
On Thursday we had the team lunch. Nunjo was conveniently in her trial, so it was me, Mary, Clare, Moira, and Ogre joined us later. The food was really nice, and Mary had already said it was her shout. Wow. It ended up being about $70. We talked about SEH and DS, and also Jessica. Mary said Jessica was really smart, but she wasn't ready for the APLO role. Luckily there was not much focus on me.

After work I had drinks across the road with Genie, Jim, Gonaz, Jess and Canda. Moira joined us a bit later.  I thought it was a real shame that I never got to work with Jim, cause he seems like a great guy. He even bought me a lemonade (and Moira did too, hehe). We were talking, and Canda and Jessica had their nails done as that was on offer at the bar, then when Canda returned, she told me to go see Jessica. I was like, I ain't getting my nails done and she assured me it wasn't that.

So I went, and turns out Canda wanted to set me up with a girl doing the nails, but unfortunately, she was working on another lady, instead of Jessica. Jessica did introduce me to her, but I thought it was a bit awkward to talk to her while she worked on someone I didn't know, so I just spoke with Jessica and the lady who was doing her nails.

Turns out that Jessica can speak FLUENT Japanese!! Wow, I heard it - she was speaking it so fluently with the nails lady. Far out. I asked her about it and she said she had a Japanese boyfriend before and she has been to Japan about seven times.

After that, Genie and Moira went home, but the rest of us went to a Thai restaurant for dinner. As always with Jim, it was a guaranteed good time. I ended up walking home with Jessica, even though I was in my suit. I wonder if I was trying to pursue her.

I think I have changed my views on Canda now. Sure, she's still one of those people who'd ditch me for someone more senior to kiss ass, but she does seem like a good friend. So good friend, but bad colleague.

Friday
Couldn't believe it was my last day at work. Everything was a bit of a blur. I was still throwing things out and doing one last handover note as I got a file back late.

I went to lunch with Maria and Genie at Macca's. I think with Maria, we dragged out this goodbye thing a bit too much, as it seemed like conversation had been exhausted. I ate a bit too much, forgetting that there would be an afternoon tea as well, lol.

So yeah, I thought I'd have time to think of a speech, but I spent the time between 2-3 just running around trying to get things finalised. I did get a moment to think, but when I tried, I realised it would get too emotional, so I discarded that thought.

But when I sat at the para bay thinking about a speech again, I felt myself tearing up, so I resisted again. Mary had brought in all the food, and I watched as she set it all up. She gave a wonderful speech, and Genie said she could feel the emotion in her voice. I said thanks to everyone, and also to Mary, and added that I wasn't going to say anymore because I didn't want to cry.

They gave me a card, a "go straight to jail" Monopoly t-shirt, and cufflinks. I wasn't comfortable being the centre of attention, and in fact never thought this day would come, as everyone watched me. Except Nunjo, that is, don't know where she was but afterwards saw her in her room.

I spent the time talking to Linda and Jessica, and then it was time to disperse.

Mel and Genie gave me a pen, and Mary had also given me a business card holder.

I still couldn't believe I was leaving. It was hitting me now.

I left with Genie. As she closed the door, I said "please don't close it", knowing I would never be able to open it again. It was a very daunting feeling. When she closed it, I felt like I had been locked out. We walked to the station together, and when we got there, I saw her eyes were red. Then she started crying. Oh geez. Hmmm. I only had one arm free and rubbed her arm and said not to cry, I think she felt embarassed and left.

I tried to rush home as I had to meet Bush and Kylie for dinner.

I swear, that must've been the fastest drive ever out to Parra! I made it in like 40 minutes. Fuck.

I met up with them and we went to a Thai restaurant. We talked about my new job, and when I told them my pay, Kylie said she was going to apply next time as well. Shit. Then we talked about their job, apparently Bush goes back to work in June. We talked about Shady, and I told them about Erica, my Korean teacher, and my Vanuatu trip. Made me realise how long it was since we last met.

It was a good catch up, but now that I've done it, I'm not sure if I'd be so eager for the 'proper' one with HHH and Carry.

Luna!!!

After work at 5pm, I realised my Korean school booklet wasn't on my desk.

What the...how am I gonna go to class?! And we have a review today!!

I figured I must've taken it home on the weekend when packing things up without thinking.

You have an hour. You can make it!

I caught a bus home and luckily found it at home. Also luckily, as I was leaving, my parents were just driving into the drive way, so I got the car and drove it out to the city. I went into the office to use the bathroom and pick up my pen, then went off to class. I was about 10 minutes late.

She immediately asked me a question. She asked me if I was having trouble learning some words. I said only those that weren't used often.

Otherwise the class went fairly well. Obviously I didn't have time to study beforehand, and noticed I needed a few moments to mentally change gears into Korean language mode. We did some interactive things like moving around and asking different people questions. I was just wondering if we were still going to dinner tonight.

We had an exercise where we had to say things about ourselves, and I picked out a line of "I'm hungry" lol.

Hint hint!

Then, towards the end of the class, Luna asked if we were still up for dinner. As expected, no one said anything, so I said "I'm hungry" in Korean, and she laughed, lol.

Then at the end of the class, she asked again. Nicole said she couldn't go as she needed to work early tomorrow. There goes my theory that she was wearing a low cut top for me tonight. Some other girls were discussing it amongst themselves.

Could it be...that I'd go to dinner with Luna by myself? OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!

I said to the girls "I'm hungry" in Korean again, and could see they had decided to go.

Yes!

So off we went :)

We went to a Korean restaurant I had been to with a girl before (can't remember who). We initially got a table upstairs where I sat across from Luna, and then we were moved to a slightly bigger table, she she sat one seat away from me with Ayumi in between us.

At first it was a bit awkward. I mean, this was a very varied group - me the guy in a suit, Ayumi makes chocolate, Amelia who is an accountant, Susie who makes jewellery, Luna the teacher and 15 year old Alice.

Alice actually reminded me of my uni days when I'd go out socialising but feeling anxious because I didn't know how to cope or bond with people. Ah how times have changed.

There was small chit chat, I heard Ayumi ask Luna about her work, and she said she teachers English as well. I asked her how long she'd been teaching at this school and she said three years. I asked if she worked weekends and she said Saturdays, so she has Fridays and Sundays off.

She asked me if my girlfriend cooked, and I thought this was as good a time as any. I told them we broke up, and heard a collective groan.

Da fuq? This is good news!!!

Suddenly Ayumi pointed at Luna and said there were plenty of Korean girls, and Luna laughed.

YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! FUCK YES!!!

The food was nice, and as the night went along, conversation became easier. We laughed about the different cultures, talked about Korean girls getting plastic surgery and looked at photos of Susie's jewellery. Gosh she looks so different with make up.

I asked Luna if she had any bad students, and she pointed at me and said "you" and everyone laughed, including her. I wondered if she was flirting with me.

At times I would take an extra long look at Luna, and I noticed her eyes would sometimes stop over at mine as she looked over, as if she was mentally checking if I was looking. This went on a few times.

A girl asked me if I had my business card, and I only had two on me so I gave her one and one to Luna. Luna took it, and then she started doing something on her phone under the table. I wonder if she was trying to translate it? I notice she didn't give it back like the other girl =)

I was trying to think of ways to get Luna's number. She mentioned earlier she did private lessons on Fridays. Maybe I can ask for her number because I'm interested in private lessons?

Then the waiter came to give us the bill. Alice was going to take a group photo of us and I asked her to just get the waiter to do it. So he did it, then I gave him my phone as well. When I got it back, Amelia and Ayumi started asking for my number so I could send them the photos.

:p

Done.

I asked Luna if she wanted the photos, and she typed in her number.

HAHA! YES!! FUCK YEAH!!!

I couldn't send it by SMS because it was too large, so she suggested Kakaotalk.

I know Kakaotalk very well, hehehe...mwahahahaha.

I was looking at my phone intently trying to add the new people on Kakaotalk, then decided to give up. As I looked up, Luna was staring straight at me!

OH MY GOD YES!!!

Anyway, we all paid about $15 each and then left. I walked in a different direction to them except Alice, and then I headed to my car.

I was so fucking happy. SO. FUCKING. HAPPY!

$2000 later...

Fuck...where do I start?

On Thursday I went to Campbelltown to instruct in a sentence for Helen. How hard could it be, right? Sit there, hand stuff to the barista etc. Cinch.

If only. Turns out the barista PH was a total prick. First he told me off for not telling the other side I was sending the docs to the court (fair enough, but he didn't have to ramble on about it), then he accused me of losing a folder he gave me, which it turned out was with the defence. Then he pressured me at the bar table to get him a copy of the SOF which I didn't even have!

Fucking hell.

He asked if I was catching a train afterwards and I said I was going to meet a friend for a coffee, which was true, but when I called Shady he wasn't available. So to avoid the dickhead on the train, I went to have a meal all by myself, which turned out to be quite nice, filling and cheap. Quarter chicken and chips...yum.

When I got back to the office at like 6:30pm, I stayed till 10pm angrily typing up all my notes from the day. I kept telling myself I'd go gambling afterwards to release the stress, but because I finished so late, I never did.

Jim had messaged me asking if I was free, but I said no because I had to stay back at work.

So on Friday I messaged him asking if he wanted to meet up for work, and he said ok. I stayed back a bit after 5pm (even though I wanted to go) because it was the last time I'd see Robert so I wanted to say goodbye. I went to his room and he jokingly called me a traitor (again), we shook hands and he said to get as much management experience as possible before applying again.

Hmmm.

So then I left and went to meet up with Jim. It must've been in my subconscious for a long time, because I just blurted it out - let's go to the casino for the all you can eat. But first we went shopping because I wanted to look for gifts for some people at work, didn't find anything but Jim did give me a good idea - a gift voucher at a restaurant for a dinner for two. Beautiful.

Then we headed to the casino. I was having second thoughts now, but I couldn't think of a way to back out. While he was talking, I kept thinking of an excuse in case I got pulled up. I went with, pretend I don't know anything, and that the last time I came although I won I didn't know I had gotten extra cash. I even deliberately told Jim that I hadn't been to the casino for a long time to set up my story.

I suppose it was a good way to test things out - in case I did get pulled up then at least I had a friend there and wasn't by myself.

As we approached, it was a bit like walking through airport security. I put on a brave face and walked through confidently only to be stopped.........because they wanted to check Jim's ID. Jim said this was because I was in a suit, but I think they have tabs on me and know I'm a regular.

Anyway, I almost couldn't believe it as we were in! I took in the familiar sight of everything. Not much had changed in the almost five months that I had been gone. We headed to the buffet area, only to turn around when we found out it was $43 per person. Fuck that.

So we went to the food court area. It was kinda hard to decide what to eat, mainly because 1) there didn't seem to be much choice 2) we didn't know where to order and 3) the food on display was irrelevant to the stuff on the menu - cakes...I mean cakes?? God, as a shareholder I must say something.

So we ate and talked about our lives. I told him I had a crush on my Korean teacher and also about the date I had with Katie, and he had concerns about his age as he wanted to pick up on some younger chicks, about 22ish. I told him I didn't think he was too old, but it depended on the way he played it. He seemed to naive  preferring to tell it straight up like "I'm 31" whereas I was trying to say he should say something more mysterious like "old enough to drive".

After we ate we went to the blackjack table where Jim doubled his money and won $100. We then had to decide if I wanted to play. I told him I wanted to celebrate getting a new job by playing. He asked me how much I was thinking of. I said $1000. He quickly said that was too much. His reaction made me realise just exactly how much $1000 was. I mean, this was coming from a guy who I heard has nearly enough saved up to buy a house. That made me feel ashamed of myself.

So we left, walked back to the car park and he drove me home. Only to have me get my car and drive out for a punt. I withdrew $200 and went to a shop I had never been to, called Sakura's Palace. It was very busy, since it was a Friday night. I was asked if it was ok to be put in a waiting room with someone else, and I said yes. I walked into a room with a bald, slightly tank/fat white guy sitting there. I gave him a 'gangster nod' as I walked in and he didn't react. But when I sat down he started talking to me.

Turns out he was just "waiting for a mate" - lol. He said they were from QLD and came down for the races. He said his mate had lost some money already and so felt like a punt. I said that was a vicious cycle I used to adopt, and so we started talking about gambling. He said he doesn't gamble or go to these shops now as he has a family. I said I respected that. We got talking about money and work as well. We were interrupted by the introduction of a Japanese girl and then we kept talking. To be honest, whilst I was talking to him, I kinda felt like I just wanted to leave and go home - both to save money and because I already had my loneliness cured.

But then he was asked by the receptionist guy to wait outside as his mate was nearly finished and there were others waiting to come in. He laughed at getting kicked out. I waited for him to say bye, and just before he left I said "see you mate" but he didn't respond. I thought we had a good bond going there but apparently not. Hmmm...it made me think about how I was too vulnerable to starting an emotional bond.

Anyway, he was replaced by a much younger guy, looked almost like a university student. I decided not to talk to him, as I had exhausted my share of my extroverted energy. He played with his phone and so did I until we were shown more girls. The receptionist asked me to pick and I went with a Taiwanese girl called Sophie. He didn't ask the other guy to pick so I assume the girls were then shown to someone else.

I waited a bit more until Sophie came to get me. I went to the bathroom first and then she led me upstairs. There was a really dark corner to turn around the stairs before some light was seen. When I saw the room, I realised why this place was only $160 per hour - the room was filthy. The bed wasn't made up, the light was swinging, the carpet was dirty. It looked like a room you would hold a hostage in.

She asked me to shower so I proceeded to strip. We showered together and she barely rubbed me, only wanting to make sure I cleaned my "little brother" as she called it. Then I got on the bed and she laid down next to me and kissed my face, and there were a few pecks on the lips. She was a bit touchy, as she didn't want me touching her breasts or her face, and so I just wanted to get this thing done.

After we finished with her giving me a handjob, we talked. She talked about money and said she was a student, studying accounting. I couldn't tell whether she had a bitchy attitude, or if it was just the "cold first time encounter" type of attitude.

She kept looking at the clock as we talked, which made it only more obvious she wanted me out. I said I came in at 10 to 11 and she said the clock was slow because the boss was too stingy to replace the battery. Then we got up and I got dressed. She helped me put my jacket on and I said thank you in Korean, and she laughed and said she wasn't Korean. She said thank you in Japanese and I said goodbye in Japanese, only to have her say it is not goodbye, just good night. Hmmm...funny I said that to Erica as well.

I then left, and decided to go...gambling. Yes, the urge was still there, and now I was alone and had my car.

I withdrew more money and went. I wondered for a sec whether my earlier trip there with Jim was just an oversight by the security people doing the cameras. Maybe I was on their watch list but they missed me. Now they'd pick me up and I'd get caught.

However, again I was allowed to walk straight in without even an ID check. I sat down at a table and slowly won $360. So that was my punting money back and more. By now it was 1:15am and I decided to leave, so I just went home and slept.

Saturday
Funny thing I noticed when I woke up on Saturday - Erica had Kakaotalk back on her international number, and had added me back. Whether that was intentional or automatic, I do not know. But she did also send me a game invite.

Hmmm.

Anyway, I went out to work a bit in the office until 2pm. Then I went shopping for gifts for everyone. I ended up buying Genie a smaller version of Rich Dad Poor Dad (but contents were exactly the same) and a cook book for Moira. I then went to the Westfield and bought Alanna a gift card for a dinner buffet for two. It cost $170, and although it hurt, I thought about how I wouldn't have gotten this job without her help, so that made it easier to swallow.

I then caught a bus to Newtown to look for a present for Mary. I went to that buddhist looking store but found nothing suitable, so then decided to get some perfume for Mary. I went back to the city and went to Myer, where I got her a Chanel fragrance which cost $160 and then got Alex a pair of cufflinks which cost $40.

I thought it was funny that Genie's gift only cost $10 yet she was my closest friend in the office, and also it could turn out to be the most valuable. I still need to get gifts for Clare, and maybe Melissa. It's hard with her, because she gives me presents yet I feel like I only know her through Genie. Hmmm.

So I was close to having spent $500. And you know what happened next? Yup, I thought about recuperating it from the casino. I dropped off the presents in the office and then went to the casino.

I was never up. And I lost it all in a relatively short amount of time. A streak of four or five non-sectors had killed me. I never thought it was possible, but this has happened to me so many times before. I just never learn.

I walked away feeling like shit. Not only did I have to pay $500 for the presents, but now also $1000 for the loss. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just cough up the $500 out of my own money? I told myself it was 'just' $1000 and shook it off. I also shook it off as a celebratory thing for getting a new job.

That familiar feeling of guilt and shame started sweeping over me as I walked away from the casino.

Sunday
I woke up in the early hours of the morning, not sure if it was because I was thinking of Erica, or if the gambling bug had invaded my mind. I played around with my phone and ended up sending Erica a game invite about 40 minutes after she had sent me one.

I thought about going to the casino, but went back to sleep.

I woke up at about 6am and had thoughts of the casino again. I drove my mom to Chinksford at 8am and then drove to the casino. I was up about $200, then a change of dealer led to four straight non-sectors, and because I was now putting $200 per spin, it meant I died earlier.

I had lost $2000 in two days. Fuck.

I walked out feeling like a complete idiot. All I could do was think of ways to explain these transactions to my new job if asked. The only way I could explain it was to say one of my cats was sick and I had to take it to the vet whose credit card machine wasn't working. Then it made me appreciate how healthy my cats were.

I went to the office to get my things, which took longer than expected. Then I went home, determined to cleanse myself. First I went for a jog around the park. I took my phone with me using the app Bo had introduced to me ages ago. Surprisingly, it only takes me 20 minutes to do a lap. I always thought it took 45 minutes. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. The other thing is, I realised I will need to do FOUR laps if I want to do City 2 Surf non-stop. Fuck.

Then I went home, had a shower and vacuumed. I felt fresh again.Guess all this money will be coming from the annual leave pay out.

The permanent reminder

Standing on the basketball court the last few days as I hammered away at the basketball, feeling the annoying ache in my right knee, reminded me of my sins in the past.

It made me think, if only I hadn't of been addicted to gambling, then perhaps I would've spent that time practising basketball, being in the gym, making my knee stronger, which would've prevented tearing my ACL? Then maybe I wouldn't be here today?

It was a useless, hypothetical thought, but one which lingered around in my mind as I sweated it out on the basketball court.

I can only wonder what my life/knee would be like now had I never gotten into gambling. I guess it serves as a permanent reminder of my flaw. A permanent price I had to pay for my destructive addiction.

Katie

On Friday after work I went home to get the car, then drove out to Stratty. I wasn't thinking of much. I had told myself to think of topics of discussion in case things went bland, but I guess I just wasn't expecting much, especially after that meeting with Ally.

I timed it pretty well despite the traffic and tough parking conditions. When I got there I called her and she said she was waiting at the food court. I went to the bathroom first and then went in search of her. I spotted her sitting down on a seat playing with her phone. I approached and asked "Katie?" and she said yes and stood up as I shook her hand. I asked if she waited long and had her nails done (as she said she would) and she seemed to get defensive.

I laughed, thinking "oh boy, another bad meeting coming up". She asked if I wanted to eat or just get something small. I asked what she felt like and she asked me again, so I said to get something to eat, even though I felt like she had already disliked me and this would probably be a waste of time.

We ended up at a Korean restaurant (surprise given it was Stratty). As we inspected the menu we made light chit chat, and then we ordered. The food was ok, and even though she had initially said she would only eat something small, she chose a main, and said she really liked the entrees.

I tried to XN her by asking her about herself, and at first she got defensive again, asking "you know what I do right?" I asked her about her job, and she said she drives around a lot to see clients, giving them financial advice. She said she had worked at this bank for a long time, left for four years and then came back to it. She said she was born here, and her mother is Malaysian and her father is Chinese. She said she has two brothers and lives with one of them, the other being married. She said she went to a single sex school and would've preferred a co-ed school. I thought she looked slightly different from her photo - she did her hair differently. She said she didn't like to waste time and only did things if they generated a return on investment. She told me she met a guy off the site once who looked completely different from his photo and she yelled at him.

She said she was a tomboy and bruised easily. She said she works six days a week and spends her day off (Sundays) relaxing at home or going to the gym. She said she's OCD and follows tightly to her schedule. I got talking about my family and said my dad works at a Chinese restaurant in Kingsgrove. She seemed interested and said there weren't many. I didn't know what she was getting at until she said her parents owned a Malaysian restaurant in Kingsgrove and recently hired an old 60 year old man.

Hmmm.

Towards the end of the meal she got a call from her brother. Apparently he was at a party and wanted to order food from their restaurant but didn't want to call and asked her to make the call. It seemed like she was used to this type of request, and he asked her because their parents didn't like him ordering. I asked if they would recognise her voice and she said no. I suggested I could call and she seemed very open to that. I said we'd do it outside the restaurant because it was too noisy.

We went to pay and she got her card out. I admit I took a bit long, because I was thinking, but in the end offered to pay. She gave the obligatory fight and I insisted. It was only $38 anyway. She thanked me and we walked out. We walked a bit up the street before stopping so she could type up the order on her phone. I made the call from my phone and ordered as per the request. I think whoever took the order thought I was pranking them, as the lady asked me for my number several times. Katie was laughing all this time, and when I hung up she cracked up laughing.

Also incidentally bumped into Suboong at that time, and we spoke briefly.

Katie and I walked back towards the plaza, and I asked if she needed yo get home. She said no. I actually wanted some dessert, but she suggested we could sit down and talk. So we sat down in the plaza near the escalators and talked. I told her about a couple of my cases (the attempt to possess and money laundering ones) to get her thoughts on them. She seemed to like the intellectual challenge.

Then we left, and as we rode up the escalators, she said she had a good time and wanted to meet again. I thought, great. She paid for her parking ticket and we walked to our cars. It seemed like she almost didn't want to leave, walking backwards, talking about meeting up next time. She made some joke about her ticket. I could see that gleam in her eyes. I think if I wanted to kiss her, that would've been a good time, but I didn't want to kiss on the first date.

We then parted. I drove back to the city but got curious and went to a shop in Taren Point. It was a fucking dud. I paid for an hour, but in the shower the girl, Barbie, asked me if I could just stay for 30 mins. I suggested 45 and she said a new girl would come in at the 30 min mark if I paid $20 more. I said ok. We did our thing and then she left. I expected the next girl to come in. I waited, and waited. After 20 minutes I got dressed, and the mamasan came in. I said I was going to go. She showed me the girl she was going to bring in, and I took one look at her and thought no. She was immediately given another client.

So I had just paid an hour and more to get less than 30 minutes.

Basketball everyday - complete!

Yesterday morning I went to the courts to work on my dribbling again. I had to do six sets to make up for the ones I didn't do when I met with Egghead. During my third set some guy came and asked me to play. I said I was going soon, so I finished my third set and left. Hmmm.

I went home, had a shower and then caught a bus out to work. Stacey was in the office. As much as she ignores me, I have to give her credit for working hard and not whinging about it. I read up on a brief and started some subs, then left at 4pm. I went home then headed back to the courts. It was pretty packed, but my goal wasn't to find a game - it was to complete my sets, otherwise I faced the daunting task of doing six sets the next day.

So I went to an empty netball court far far away from everyone else and did my dribbling drills. I always find that on my first set it feels like I'm starting all over again, but on my second set it all becomes familiar again. Also, if I stand too long with pressure on my right knee, it can lock up and/or really hurt.

I did my three sets and went home a happy boy.

This morning I went to the courts and did my three sets of dribbling drills. I also worked a little on the Jamal Crawford shake and bake behind the back move. I think I'm getting the hang of it, but need to practice more to do it heaps faster. I like the fact that I'm improving - when I first started I kept losing the ball. I was pretty happy with that. I kept thinking about how it was like teaching an old dog new tricks.

I went home, had a shower and had something to eat. Then I headed out to the city to look for presents. I think I'll get something for Alanna, Mary, Clare, Moira, Genie, Mel and Alex. If it's $50 each then that's $350 altogether - yikes. I couldn't find anything suitable but Malay called me and asked if I wanted to go get the presents for Shuing, so I said yes.

I caught a bus back and then met up with him. We went to Office Works to get the ipod and then to Dick Smith at the shopping centre near me to get the dock. Also got five packs of Kettles chilli chips because they were $2 each.

To be honest I probably wouldn't gone for a punt today. In fact I was about to get one on Saturday, but bumping into Egghead and hearing about his lifestyle now reminded me that I should save my money. Then today Malay called me just in time, as I probably would've gone looking after shopping.

Erica called me at 4am this morning. Twice. I didn't answer. It was right on 30 days. Guess she's eager to get that $90k. Not happening. I don't know if I'll call her back. Part of me hopes she won't call back and will leave things at that. Part of me hopes we can get back together again.