Bloody neighbour...

On Friday I spent the first half of the day in the office all by myself, feeling good at the end of it because I had done all the tasks DC had asked me to do. I left just after noon and caught the bus out to the jails, where I would meet DC to see the client.

Ross was also there. I can't believe how happy he always is, and he always has that monster giggle/laugh that he does. I remember when I used to see him in court, before I knew him, I was slightly jealous of him, not really sure why. But he's such a nice guy it's hard to dislike him.

I had expected another rubbish conference, but we found out something really, really interesting. I'm reluctant to say what it is, but I'll say this: it can be very, very interesting when you use the evidence to put together someone's life. You may discover things that no one but the person knew about. I wonder what evidence would reveal about my life.

After the conference DC dropped me off in the city where I delivered a folder to GS, and then I went to the MRI clinic to change my appointment. I just didn't think going at 9am on Tuesday would be seen as a very good move work wise, so I changed it to Wednesday 5pm.

I went home, got changed and went to the gym. I came back home and then spent the rest of the night watching Game 5 of Cleveland-Orlando. I knew they'd win the bloody game, should've put money on it.

On Saturday, I broke my drought and went to the casino. My neighbour above was having a new floor installed, and the impact of all the works was practically bringing my room down. So much rubble and rubbush fell down in my room and on my bed, it wasn't funny. I spoke to the renovating guy but he couldn't do much, and the owner wasn't at home. It's looking really dangerous, as if the roof is about to fall on my head.

Anyway, because of that, and, as ironic and stupid as it seems, I needed money. On my first bet, I bet on red and the middle column, and got 32. I won $75. Although I was tempted to bet one more time to round it off to $100, I had been too traumatised in the past to do so.

So I held my chips and went to watch the fourth quarter of the Denver-LA game. Can't believe Denver played with such lackluster effort in an elimination game. Like the commentator said, it was so unfortunate to lose like that. If you lose knowing that you gave it your all, then fine, but I don't think you could have a peaceful offseason with feelings of regret.

After that I went to a bank and tried to use their machine to deposit the money I had with me. I thought it was one of those at Parra, but I realised after I had put in $200 that it wasn't. What you needed to do was put it in an envelope first, not just the cash. So I called up and the whole process took about half an hour. As I stood there waiting for a call back, I thought to myself, "these are the quirky and stupid adventures I get up to".

They called me back and asked me to call the branch up on Monday morning. Ah god I'm stupid.

I spent the rest of the day pondering whether I should go watch State of Play or not. G told me on MSN that they were planning to go watch Angels and Demons, and asked if I wanted to go. Lucky I communicated with him, because it would've been awkward if I bumped into them at the cinemas.

I was bored, so I decided to change the light bulb in the garage. I don't think it's ever been changed. I had to walk onto the top of my car, and I was a little surprising at how soft the bonnet and the roof was, sometimes 'popping' inwards if I stepped on a vulnerable spot. Not sure if cars are made for people to stand on them though. Anyway, I managed to change the light bulb but the light doesn't seem to work. Grrr.

Today I watched on as the Cavs gave the same Nuggets type of lackluster effort in their elimination game. I was pretty sure Orlando would win, but I wasn't expecting the Cavs to play like that. West and Williams played alright, but Lebron really didn't step up when he needed to. What's all this crap about getting your team mates involved? When you're down, you have to play like the superstar, because you get paid like one.

After that I went to the gym. Seems like it's really empty on Sunday afternoons. I did sit ups for the first time since my injury, because I can't bend my knee enough. I got cramps at the end of it which was good, because it meant something worked.

I came home and spent the rest of the day cleaning up, because we're having people come on Tuesday to fix up my room and the lounge, so I had to empty everything out to make moving the furniture easier.

That neighbour still hasn't contacted us despite me leaving my number with the worker. That is really really rude. Do people think they can just ignore problems and it will go away?

Oh, also, this is one more thing to add to my list of bad things happening in 2009.

Knee
My knee is feeling a lot better. I think it was yesterday that I found out I could slowly jog across the road without any pain. However, I still cannot bend it enough to cut my own toenails.

Thursday comp: 2-1-1

2-0 as head coach, hahahahha.

We played in the middle court, which was a change. Dunnycan again couldn't make it because of work, and Roger didn't show up, so we had seven. I chose a starting five of Abi, Fat Pat, Mike, Macro and Carter, with Geoff and Fab on the bench.

The team we played I had seen play the week before, and they looked pretty decent, so I was a little worried but at the same time I knew we were in with a chance. Abi came up with a play on offense, so I got everyone together while he drew it up. I have absolutely no problems with guys coming up with offensive plays, as I prefer to just mind the defensive side of things.

We got off to a slow start, trailing by a bit more than 10 in the first half, but I could feel that we were always in the game. The play Abi drew up didn't work too well, probably becayse Mike gives shitty screens and then tends to move when he thinks it doesn't work.

With Carter taking care of the boards and ABi hitting his threes, we slowly caught up and took the lead in the second half. Up four, Abi hit a three and it was smooth sailing from there as we pulled away. I felt like we were a very experienced team, carefully slicing apart a team and knowing exactly when to strike, but of course, it was just a fluke.

Geoff played some good defense, but I find that he likes to talk back, never wanting to come off as having done something wrong. I like to put him on for Macro at first, and then I'll put Macro back on for Abi or someone else to see them both play side by side for some speed.

We were all pretty happy having won our second game in a row, but I don't think anyone was happier than Fat Pat and I. We didn't show it, but we both knew how good it felt to win two games in a row after having such a losing history.

Mike suggested we go to Macca's, so we did, and we bumped into Abi and his friend there. I knew we wouldn't click with them too well, but I tried my best to get a group conversation going. An example of how different they are was aptly demonstrated when Abi's friend told us a story about how some guy in the US had kidnapped someone, charged for murder, convicted, did his time in jail, then on release killed the person he had kidnapped and couldn't be charged for the same crime twice, and then joked he would kidnap us to lick his ass.

Ummm...we were eating at that time too.

When they left Fat Pat was more vocal, talking to me about the playoffs. We both knew Cleveland was going to win Game 5, because the team down 3-1 always does, only to lose Game 6.

So yeah, a two game winning streak feels pretty good. I'm sure if we keep it up there'll start being talks about how the team is winning without me, raising the issue of whether they are playing better because it is without me, or because they have someone there to coach and manage?

But for now, I'll just enjoy the streak until next Thursday.

Interview Pt 2

"I'm just so fuckin' depressed
I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up"
-- Beautiful, Eminem

Let's go back a little.

On Monday we only had court for a short time because one of the other accused's mother had died. I got a message from my client to see him urgently, so we all went out to the jails that afternoon, only to have one of those dud conferences where nothing significant really happens.

As DC was driving GS and I back, I fell asleep in the back, and only woke up when GS was being dropped off. DC asked me to go to his place to give him some files. I didn't really want to, but knew I had no excuse not to.

I must say, his place is really, really nice. I get the feeling that he feels somewhat inferior to his wife, because when I complimented his house, he said something like "it's her house, I just have one room". I think his wife makes more money than him, which when you think about it, he seems to have gotten a pretty good deal. He married a woman who makes more money than him and was willing to take his daughter on from his previous marriage.

Anyway, it made me want to live a proper life sooo much. I mean, I just want a decent job, and have my own place to share with someone. It was like what I saw at his place gave me some motivation to work harder.

On Wednesday DC gave me all this work which really annoyed me. We had all decided what was to be done, and just as expected, he changed his mind and had now wanted something different. We had agreed on playing particular phone calls, so we only needed the transcripts for those calls, but now he wanted all transcripts for all calls.

And so I spent a lot of time during the day asking for quotes on transcription services so we could satisfy LA about not wasting money and all that. Then when I found one, I had to get it approved, and by then it was already the end of the day, and I had the job interview the next day and I knew DC wouldn't be able to upload it. The transcription people said if I wanted it by Saturday afternoon I'd have to upload it asap so I spent that entire night, not preparing for my interview, but uploading all those goddamn files, which kept me up until midnight.

On Thursday I went to the internet cafe in the city to print out some stuff for the interview. It was like 8:57 when I approached the printing guy, and he was like "oh sorry we open at 9".

WTF????????

Like seriously, first of all, you're not a public servant, secondly, you're fucking there already, and thirdly, would it really be that hard to just walk that couple of steps to retrieve a print out? Is it really that hard?? Really???

I then crossed the road and went into the courts, locking myself into a conference room where I read up on my application and parts of the law that I thought they'd ask me about.

Throughout that entire time I knew I was stuffed, because I was unprepared. I just didn't feel like doing it. I wasn't ready. But at the last minute, I gathered up my confidence and told myself I could do it.

I went to their office, spoke to security and was directed to walk upstairs. I had to wait a bit for the receptionist because there was a cop before me dropping something off and he took a while.

The receptionist knew I was there for an interview - I guess she just matched the unfamiliar face with the time of arrival on her list. I sat down on this really low couch which started hurting my knee because I couldn't bend it that much.

Some girl who I had seen before in court came up and said she was there for the 11:30 interview, which was after mine. I guess she had been working as a temp, because I remember seeing her appear for the other side, and my guess was confirmed when she told the receptionist that she was already an employee.

A man came out to greet me and asked me to follow him, and I hurt my knee again in the process of standing up, and was slow to follow. He led me to a room right at the back where there was a lady sitting down. I had expected her to be the same lady who interviewed me for the temp position, but she didn't look like her.

I looked at her carefully and tried to recognise her, but I don't think it was. She treated me like it was the first time she had seen me so maybe it wasn't.

After the initial question of "so what are your strengths for this job", I started getting burned, like I said in my previous thread. I think I was doing alright in the first half, but when as the questions got harder, I just started losing more and more confidence. I even told myself "damn, I shouldn't be here". It got to a stage where it felt like she had bashed me down onto the ground and she had to suggest answers so I didn't look like a fool.

I just couldn't wait to get out of there.

When they asked me the concluding question of whether there was anything I wanted to ask, I didn't want to seem disinterested so I asked how many positions there were and they said 8-9. Goddamn, 8-9 out of 100??? I'll never have a chance.

That led to some conversation about what my preferences were in terms of office location, and I basically said that I was good to go anywhere, and I tried to support my sincerity by saying that I had even applied for a SLA job out west. Not sure if that was a good thing because they might draw the inference that I was rejected for that job.

I can't even remember what happened to that application. I think I withdrew because I had second thoughts about going out west didn't I?

Anyway, when I walked out of the room I didn't close the door fully, and I saw the man had to shut it, which was probably another mistake on my part. I said good luck to the girl who was waiting for her interview, and then headed downstairs.

I tried calling GS and DC to see if I was needed back at work, because I was thinking of getting my MRI done. In the morning they had called me to cancel my Friday 6pm appointment and had asked if I could do it at lunch time today.

I couldn't get through to them so I just caught the train back. On the train, GS called me and said he wanted to go through the computer report with me, so I guess it was a good decision to head back.

As I was nearing the courts, I saw that I had a missed call from Twish. No doubt, she wanted some hints on the interview. They had told me not to tell anyone about the questions, and I sure as hell wasn't intending to.

Why? Because when I found out I had got the interview, I tried calling Kylie up to talk to her about it. I wasn't really expecting her to tell me anything substantial because she had already said that the questions for internals were different than those for externals. But I just wanted to ask her what it was like.

She didn't pick up. Not only did she not pick up, but she never returned my call. Look, I understand completely if you don't want to tell me about the interview, whether it's because they said so, or if it's because you don't want to give me any sort of advantage. I understand that.

But the least you could do is call me back and give me some sort of excuse or message me some sort of excuse. You can't just ignore people and hope that your perceived problem will go away. Because by doing that you've just antagonised someone - me.

Anyway, I called Twish back up, and she answered with a fancy "hey Mr Prosecutor". We found out that she was at the front of the building and I was only moments away, so when we met up we had a short chat. I leaked one of the questions, but then I was vague about everything else. Luckily I spotted CW getting into PL's car and pointed it out to her, which had her running madly towards the car.

When I got into the office, GS and DC asked me how the interview went, I said I didn't think it went too well. I told GS that they had heard of him when they asked about referees, and DC yelled out from his room "so what are you trying to say, that they haven't heard of me?" lol.

I spent some time working with GS, and then DC. GS had to leave early because he got a call saying his son had collapsed at work (but he's ok now). When I was working with DC, I just wanted him to go asap because I felt like crumbling down and crying.

When he did leave, I told myself that I had to continue on. I couldn't break down just yet. I went out to get some lunch and brought it back to the office to eat as I read the transcript. This RM is sneaky, he's trying to draft the law in a way that will have my client down. I am really not sure how you can intentionally enter into an agreement and then do an act recklessly pursuant to that agreement.

Shady had called me earlier, before his interview and after mine. No doubt he wanted some tips as well. But I had missed the call as I was working with GS. I decided not to call back until after his interview. When it was after his interview, I messaged him to see if he wanted to meet up for lunch, and he said he wasn't staying in the city and that he'd be returning to Parra.

Since I was at Parra anyway, I suggested we could do drinks after work, and he just replied with "na I can't". I suspect that Kylie had gotten to him, hence the response.

Fuck em', I don't need them anyway.

What ever happened to that promise of ours? If you remember a few months back, when we were all interviewing for those temp positions, we had agreed that whichever one of us got it would have to shout the others lunch. Well, they both got it and I didn't. And guess what? That bet was never mentioned again.

It's human nature I suppose, to promise to do something if you get a benefit first, and then when you get that benefit you want to revoke that promise because you've already gotten that part of the deal you wanted. And it's probably not worth much now, but I had the full intentions of shouting everyone lunch if I had gotten that position, including Bush. I still intend to shout her a proper lunch just because of her help in getting me an opportunity for that temp position.

I felt so down as I dragged myself to the train station after work. For the first time, I could see, no wait, I could understand those who had killed their entire family and themselves after losing a job. I mean, I don't really have anyone to support other than myself, and I already feel like shit because my future looks gloomy. So how do you think those middle aged men or men past their prime feel when they lose their jobs, knowing they have a wife and three children to feed? Not only that, but they probably have a mortgage on the house and the car as well. I mean, that's just too much.

The other reason I felt so down was perhaps because in the back of my mind, I had affixed to this opportunity to turn my life around. I could finally get a stable job that pays decently, and start a proper life from there. On the other hand, if I failed, I might end up in a life of crime.

About 80% of me wanted to give up. And I mean, give up on life. I had ruined it. I had this picture in my mind of my corpse in the driver's seat of my car, discovered when someone opens up my garage with gas rushing out of the condensed space.

But then I wondered what my dad had done to deserve a family like this, and I wiped that image away from my mind.

The other 20% of me tells me to keep battling. It tells me that it shouldn't matter if I don't get this job. It's their loss. Fuck em'. You gotta get back at them, be the best damn defence lawyer there is and make them regret. REGRET.

That gives me a little bit of hope, and inspiration. In the past, that was enough to fuel me for the next few years. But now, I just feel like I need more. It's as if that that's a spark, but I need more than that. I need something for the spark to catch fire on, and then it'll burn from there.

But everytime I feel like I'm about to take off from that spark, I feel tired again. I feel like as if I'm still burnt out from my old job.

It seems like it's a 20/80 battle. 20% of me wants to get up, but 80% of me is holding and pushing me down.

I was so depressed on the train that I had decided to sit in the park alone, to think. I didn't even want to go to the game tonight. On the one hand, I was sure they could manage themselves, but on the other, I wanted Carter and the whole team to get used to having me as the coach...as the super-imposing figure. I didn't want to be seen as someone who turned up whenever they felt like it.

I sat down at a bench in the park and wanted to blog, when all these work emails came flooding in and I thought I'd just forward them off to GS and DC and then blog, but then Twish called me, asked me where I was, and then we organised to meet up for a drink since her office was a few blocks away.

As I walked there, I knew it wouldn't take much probing from her, if she pressed the right buttons, for me to break down. I was ready to tell her about all the problems in my life right now, and I mean everything.

But as soon as I saw her, I seemed to get into his happy cheery mood. We went to that cafe on the main street that probably about 90% of people walk past and notice but never sit down to try.

Obviously she was after more info about the interview, and I didn't give off anymore information than the question I had already leaked. I made up a few questions, but I tried to stick to the truth by saying that if she knew her application and the guidelines well and knew how to apply them then she should be ok.

We talked about other stuff work related, and she was telling me about how before I started the job, DC and the fat guy from the government had gotten into an argument, and we both cracked up so much it hurt. I couldn't believe how much talking to someone could cheer me up.

As I was talking to her, I thought about how this would've been the perfect opportunity to meet a girl, but there was one problem: I wasn't attracted to her. Don't get me wrong, she's not unattractive. But there's just something about the way she acts that doesn't give me that 'crush' feeling.

In any case, I was thankful for agreeing to meet her that night.

While she had her head down eating, I tried to sneak a peak at my watch because I knew I had to make it for bball, but she must've caught me as she asked if I was in a hurry to go somewhere, and I told her.

We stayed a bit longer after that, then I caught the bus home, changed and drove out to bball.

I was a happier, but I guess I was still angry about the interview. I guess I'm angry at myself, and at their questions. I mean, they asked the questions as if they were expecting me to have some sort of prosecutorial experience. Like, wtf? If I asked you about what a defence lawyer would do in a particular situaiton, you wouldn't be able to answer that either, and I'd completely understand, because it's so much different.

How can that interview process not favour the internals?

Interview Pt 1

On train right now going back to work.

Far out, got BURNED in the interview. The questions were pretty hard, I don’t think you could really prepare for them. The only way to have known the correct answers be if you had worked there and knew how they did things.

Some of the questions were like “what would you do if a trial was coming up and the sexual assault witness was overseas?” I stupidly said that maybe you could tender the statement if the defence didn’t oppose, and she shook her head no. I knew that was wrong before it even came out of my lips. She was like “sexual assault? If they didn’t oppose then there wouldn’t be a trial”. Fuck yeah.

And then another question was “what would you do if there’s this file that’s just been hiding in the corner and nothing’s been done and you find out that it’s coming up for trial next week?” I said I’d tell the supervisor, but really, what could you do???

I suppose I gave ‘satisfactory’ answers to the other questions. The dude asked me what I would do if on a severity appeal, the accused starts giving evidence inconsistent with the facts already tendered. I said I’d ask for a short break and have a talk with the defence, try to contact the OIC or victim if there was one.

Then I was asked, assuming I couldn’t contact them and we return to court, what I would do, and I said I’d ask for an adjournment, and then if it proceeded to xx, they asked how I would xx them, and I said on the basis that the accused had given inconsistent evidence and suggest that they were making it up.
Far out I feel so shitty. Not even hoping for the job now.

Dunnycan's birthday

Yesterday I went out to the city uni to read up on some stuff in preparation for my interview this Thursday, even though I felt a slight headache coming on.

By the middle of my progress my headache had gotten worse, but I went on and finished reading the guidelines, then went to get some lunch at the nearby food court. I had a craving for Indian food a week ago, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to satisfy my cravings.

Even though the dish didn't look very big, it turned out to be a lot more than I could handle, as I stuffed myself full and left a whole lot of rice on the plate. It was some pretty good Indian food.

I still had my headache, so I went to get some bread from the supermarket and then headed home for a nap. When I woke up I felt a lot better, although the headache was still lingering around in the background.

I headed out to meet Dunnycan and Fat Pat for Dunnycan's birthday dinner. It was on a street I knew, but I wasn't sure where it was exactly and I ended up walking across like two or three suburbs just to get to it. As I was crossing this one street, the light turned red and so I tried to jog the rest of it because there was a car waiting for me to finish crossing. As soon as I tried to break into a jog, my knee sent pain signals to my brain which made me stop.

You're still a cripple.

I got there first and waited a few minutes before Dunnycan arrived. We went in with him saying Fat Pat was going to be late. We talked about Wolverine a lot, and some stuff about computers.

When Fat Pat arrived we started talking about basketball, jobs and gambling. Dunnycan brought up Fat Pat's wagering on sports games, and I felt good inside that I hadn't gambled since my breakdown a few Thursdays ago.

Dunnycan also told us about his new part time job as a sales person for a car cleaning product which sounded pretty good. If I have some extra money from next month's salary I might try to help him out by buying a couple of bottles.

It made me grateful for what I currently have to see that he was struggling just to make ends meet. I'm sure he'll be one of those success stories where they struggle by juggling a couple of jobs at first and then find themselves in this dream job with a dream salary. He deserves it.

He told us a bit about the insight to the psychology of selling, noting the five impulses or something. One of them was to get the potential customer to hold the product, and then to take it away from them. Another was greed, which could be used by selling them more at a discounted price. It made me think about the bread I had bought earlier - I could buy one loaf for $4, or two for $5. So I bought two.

Fat Pat seemed pretty eager to talk about the playoffs, which was good, because at least he was still interested in basketball. I just fear the day where he becomes like me, where he gets tired of it all and needs a break.

When we finished we stood outside talking for a bit, and then we heard someone say hello. We ignored it at first, and then when it repeated, I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin.

It was a black man with a blonde wig, talking in a female's voice. He/she kept saying hello, and said one of us was sexy. We just politely nodded and turned away.

Dunnycan gave me a lift back home, which was good of him.

Nobody cares?

I went to the gym earlier. I wasn't sure if I should go or not. I was pretty sure that just doing the upper body wouldn't hurt my knee at all, and I was starting to feel bad about not having gone since my injury, and I didn't want the whole starting over again process when I did fully recover, so I went.

I also just wanted to get away from home and be by myself to clear my mind.

I thought a bit about the photos Bobby uploaded of his new Audi. Of course, my reaction was "who the fuck cares". And then I started deriving a possible 'general rules in life' from that (I'm trying to collate and collect them).

It is this: nobody cares.

Think about it. Apart from your family and those who will be affected - directly or indirectly - by your actions, nobody really cares about what you do, what happenes to you, and basically, just you. Everyone has better things to do than to be interested in you.

It seems like a simple, and already established rule. But perhaps the invent of facebook has made us forget about that. Why are we all posting photos and status updates about ourselves? I can understand that everyone is self-absorbed in their own lives, but what really makes them think others could or would give a crap?

Depending on the extent, facebook and twitter appears to just be another medium for boasting. And what does boasting achieve? Nothing beneficial. Possible resentment from those who are envious or jealous.

And then this made me think (more): I was a bit of a show-off in high school, and I wonder if this aroused some sort of resentment or jealousy within Egghead, hence him wanting to part ways with me. If you recall, one time when I caught up with him a few years ago, he said "you're so modest now".

Maybe he felt the same way I feel towards Bobby?

I suppose the bottom line is, humility > boastfulness.

Thursday comp: 1-1-1

"But what was really going on was I had developed a crush
I just didn't know how to tell it to her
Should I cut off one of my ears and mail it to her?

Seems like so long ago since I've blogged. It's hard to remember things that happened, and even if I could, it's harder to remember them in order.

On Tuesday I missed a call, and when I checked the voice message it was the prosecution calling me for an interview! I called them back later in the afternoon and scheduled an interview for the following Thursday. There will be two people on the panel, and one of them was the lady who interviewed me last time for the temporary position. Not sure how she felt about me.

Joe's girlfriend posted the photos of our last game up on fb. I didn't realise she took 99 photos!!

There is one photo which I kept looking at. It's of me in mid-air at the free throw line, the ball having just left my hands, with Dim and his little vertical trying to get a hand in my face. It's like 'that' Jordan shot against Russell, only taken from the right side. Everything is frozen in moment - Yunk is running around behind me, and everyone else around the ring is trying to box out for the rebound.

I still remember that shot clearly. We had just come out of halftime. I inbounded the ball, got it back straight away, ran to the free throw line and jacked it up.

Swish.

It was a great photo. But it also gave me a touch of sadness because maybe, just maybe, it was the last great shot I ever took. Who knows, maybe my knee won't be able to do that anymore? But anyway, I'm just glad that it happened, and even more glad that the photo was taken. This one is truly for keeps.

On Wednesday we didn't have court, so I took the first half of the day to have my x-ray. I didn't have to wait long before a blonde, conservative looking girl called me in. She wasn't the most attractive person, but attractive enough to be the type you'd want to marry. What do you call them anyway? Are they doctors?

Getting onto the table was very reminiscent of a massage table, and I told myself to push all those thoughts out of my mind as I laid there. Luckily my body and mind were rational enough to distinguish the two.

A few snaps were taken with me and my knee in various poses, I was asked to wait outside while she looked at the scans, and then I was sent off with the scans to be later sent to my doctor.

I went home, changed, and headed off to work. I probably didn't need to go, but again it was for a perception thing. It was a good thing for Twish, because she called me up and asked me to get something from her room to fax to her. She told me she received a call for an interview too but she hadn't called them back. When I called her later to tell her the fax had been sent, she said she called them back and couldn't find a date when she'd be available so they said they'd call her back when more dates in June came up.

Idiot! She should've just taken whatever was there!

On Thursday morning, GS and I were up at the court level having a conference with a witness, and when we were finished we were just standing around talking, and then he says "I think they want to give you something" and I turn around to see the two paras, and the cute one says my name and hands me an envelope.

I say "good morning" and look at her, and she has this bit of a cold look on her face.

Aight, fine then.

Later on in court, her and her two friends are sitting in court at the back. My client calls me over, and as I'm walking back to my seat, I decide to look at her. Looks like she's just finished saying something to her friend, and she's smiling and looking at me. We hold eye contact for longer than usual, and then I look away as I turn into my row.

God this is fucking Darth Vader all over again!!!

But I should be smarter this time. Smarter to know that I haven't got a chance. Things like this don't work for me. Why? Because things for me always seem to work better when I start off not liking the girl, and we get put into a situation where we spend some time together and then she starts liking me.

It can never be a thing where she likes me from the start, before she even knows me. Maybe it's because she's put me on the pedestal, and then everything she finds out about me afterwards is a disappointment. Or maybe it's because I already know she likes me, which makes me nervous and stuff up. I don't know.

After work I went home for a while, then changed for bball. I wasn't changing into my uniform, but I was going to bring it with me just in case, I figured I could at least stand around if we didn't have enough people.

However, I was pretty intent on not playing. Instead, I wanted to be coach. I had come up with the idea of playing a full court 1-3-1 press since we had so many people.

Dunnycan called me while I was driving there to say he was too tired to come.

I got there early enough to watch a good portion of the second half of the game before ours, and so I got to chat with the new guys Carter and Roger. Both seem to be pretty nice guys. I'm surprised at how 'soft' Carter seems to be, seeing that he's the top scorer on another team in our Sunday comp I figured he was a bit of a tough macho kinda guy.

Everyone turned up except Dunnycan and Fab, which worked out pretty well. I got the guys to do the 1-3-1 press everytime after we scored. We managed to limit the other team to five points at halftime!

However, they came back pretty strong in the second half, and came within just three points before we managed to pull away again and win.

So my first coaching stint for the season was a success, although I'm not sure if it was because of me or if it was because we played a shit team. Gotta wait and see I guess.

I can tell Geoff is going to be frustrating to coach. He just doesn't listen. He went one on five and jacked off a bad jumper, I took him off and told him not to, and you know what he said? He said his passing was off and he had no one to pass to! Wtf? It's not like we have a shot clock or anything...

Yesterday on the way to work at the train station I bumped into that old guy who also interviewed me for that temp position. I smiled and he just looked at me. I guess he doesn't recognise me.

When I got off the train I saw GS, so I walked up to him and we started to talk. I told him about my upcoming interview and one of the questions that Twish gave me, and he gave me a very thought out answer. Not only that, but after we got into the office, he kept thinking about it and kept calling me into his room to give me more suggestions. Wow.

Court was only a half day, but after we finished I stayed back with DC to work on his stuff. It was raining so I accepted a lift back, and he drove me home even though he was going to the city for the opening of PL's new bar.

On the way we had such a good laugh, joking about how we could tell the jury our client was innocent because he was too dumb to be in the conspiracy. We were pretending there was a performance review for criminals, and the boss would be like "what?! You gave them your real number?? You told them where you were born? You kept calling the police up?? Stop going fishing all the time!!" haha.

I told him about the question Twish gave me as well, and he gave me an answer which I would've given had I not spoken to GS about it, which was a pretty dumb answer I must admit.

This morning I went to see my doctor about the x-ray results. I had booked this time, and it was a different receptionist - the chubbier one. Despite booking, I still went after everyone else who was there before me, but it wasn't a long wait.

Anyway, I didn't break any bones, but the doctor suggested it might be a ligament issue, thinking I either strained it or sprained it, so I'll have to have an MRI, which will cost nearly $200 and I don't know how I'm going to pay for that.

When I finished, I went to pay and it was a little embarassing because the machine kept rejecting my bank card, so I had to use my credit card. I later went to an ATM to see why, and I realised it was because the car company had taken their monthly payment and I had forgotten to move my money from my savings account to my normal account! Far out.

On the bus, I thought about something the doctor had told me whilst I was in there. He told me about an incident earlier in the week. I sat there wondering whether it was genetic. I wondered if my extreme insecurity with/hatred of girls/excessive amount of jealousy was a mental illness.

I watched game 2 of the Cavs-Magic series earlier, and fell asleep on the couch because the Cavs had taken such a huge lead. But I heard it was a close game, so I gotta watch the replay tonight.

For Granted

"In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside eachothers minds
Just to see, what we find, look at shit through eachothers eye"
-- Beautiful, Eminem

I spent most of yesterday at home working on my spreadsheet. After doing two out of the three, I got a call from my client's sister at 1:30pm saying she was at the jails trying to pick up my client's suit but apparently only the lawyer could sign out for it.

I asked her to see what time they closed and she said 3:00pm, so I decided to get this over and done with, and I didn't mind a break anyway. When I was walking towards my garage I heard someone yell out to me, but dismissed it as yelling directed at someone else. As I was reversing out, I saw Grizzly waiting outside - so he was the one calling out to me.

He seemed to be in a bit of a panic and asked me where I was going. He said he needed an urgent lift to the airport as his plane was leaving in 50 minutes.

Hmmm...friend or client? Friend or client?

I couldn't say no to such a desperate request, so I offered him a lift to the airport. There was initial traffic till about halfway there, and then it was reasonably smooth. We got there in about 30 minutes, which was a lot quicker than expected.

He was very thankful for my help, and I've always been open to helping people in need, mainly because I like being owed a favour. Of course, one has to keep in mind that, depending on the favour, the debt may be diminished by time. In other words, some people seem to have a short memory about your help, and later on may even refuse to help you in return.

I raced to the jails, and unfortunately I got stuck in traffic. It really was a test of time and my driving skills. With about 15 minutes to closing time, I was still a considerable distance away. Luckily I decided to take the freeway and I made it with about 10 minutes to spare.

The retrieval of the suit was pretty much trouble-free, I had expected some procedural hassle.

After that I drove back home, and worked on the remainder of the spreadsheet.

My knee felt pretty good today. It feels like a blend between pain and an itch. I keep having this urge to feign a turn around jump shot, but have to keep reminding myself that I'm still very much injured, and would just aggravate things if I tried it. I can walk pretty much without a limp, but only slowly. If I speed up even a little, the limp becomes evident. Like today, when Rom was keeping the lift open for me, I tried to run and my stumble was very obvious.

Court was pretty easy today as we just watched a video, although in the office I was doing a lot of work. I copped a bit from my client today. He asked me to call up this shop to ask for the contact details of someone who worked there years ago, and so I did. I returned to tell him that they said they knew him but had no information. My client then said "did you talk to the manager? You didn't did you? You're a lawyer and you didn't even do that".

Wow.

That stung.

Maybe he was in a bad mood. I keep telling myself not to be too sensitive about it, but at the same time I can't help it.

I saw that cute para today. Haven't seen her for ages. But no eye contact was made as for some reason I avoided looking at her when she was sitting at the back.

I'm also trying to keep my distance from Twish, as I don't want to mislead her in any respect. The other day in court, she told me she was moving places because she didn't like her room mate. I just nodded and didn't say anything, because: 1) we were in goddam court for god's sakes, it's not the best time to have a conversation about that; and 2) I didn't want to become the person to turn to when she needed to talk about her problems.

Today while we were watching the video, she pushed her transcript to my side so we could share, but I just kept watching the screen. She would also sometimes try to joke with me, and I'd just politely chuckle and leave it at that. During the break, I asked her why she didn't just move back with her parents, and she seemed to avoid the question, saying there was just not enough room. Hmmm...me suspects there may be something there.

I'm starting to like Relapse more and more. Some songs have stuck out and become early favourites, like Medicine Ball, My Mom, Insane, Bagpipes from Baghdad, Same Song & Dance, We Made You, and Beautiful.

It seems that everytime I listen to a song, I pick up something new, something that amazes me about the level of detail that goes into his songs. A good example is how in Stan, you can hear the windscreen wipers.

Anyway, I watched a bit of the news when I got home. They were talking about how some models from Australia nearly had their passports confiscated in Taiwan, and some of them were saying how scared they were and balh blah blah.

I bet they're probably of the opinion that they're never going to go back, and how it was such a bad place to be and all that. I say sucked in to these models. They probably think that because they're 'models', they're better than everyone else and are too good for a place like Taiwan. I suppose it's never occurred to them that people actually live in Taiwan. Yes, people habitat in Taiwan!

And listening to Eminem's Beautiful, it made me think: it really, really takes an experience to live in someone else's shoes to appreciate and be grateful for your own situation, instead of taking things for granted.

This can be directed pretty much at most people. Perhaps moreso in Western society than others, we tend to take our own lives for granted. Instead of being content and appreciating what we have, we are somehow instilled with the need to improve, to get better, to get richer, to be more than what we already are.

But who amongst us stops to think that some poor kid in Somalia would give anything just for a cup of water? Meanwhile, here we are in our expensive clothes, equipped with mobile phones, laptops, wide screen televisions, having the choice to eat anything like a fruit salad to elegant Japanese cuisine.

And I myself can't avoid this criticism. Some poor three year old is probably going to die from starvation within the next hour or so, and there I was throwing $200 onto the table for one spin at roulette. I haven't gambled since that breakdown, but I can never escape criticism for that.

I just think that society as a whole these days lacks empathy. Capitalism has fed us with greed, and in the process we've been blinded to what truly matters. Instead of just appreciating life, we do stupid superficial, materialistic things like having cosmetic surgery so we can appease whoever judges us solely on our appearance, we smoke, drink and do drugs till our bodies force irrevocable regret on us, and we cheat on our partners because we're pressed and impressed to focus on lust and not love.

So maybe, next time when you have a moment to spare, you should try picturing yourself trading shoes with someone less fortunate than you. And hopefully, even if it's for a micro-second, you will learn to appreciate and be content with your current situation, instead of taking the next risk that could ruin it all.

Not having a very good year

Yesterday I spent the first half of the day working with GS in his office, and then we went to North Sydney for a conference with the computer dude. Because he'll be on holidays at a time when we need him, the company has given us another expert.

I hated him straight away.

I just didn't think he knew what was going on. I don't mean that he didn't know the history of the matter, because I didn't expect him to since he just came into it, but he just didn't seem like he knew what he was supposed to know. Much to the horror of his supervisor who was also sitting in, he admitted it during the conference. He said "I don't have the apt, this goes beyond my apt".

Great...well done. $80,000 and we get a guy who doesn't know his shit.

I could just feel his supervisor cringing. I'm fairly sure he would've had a word or two with him afterwards.

We caught the train back to the city and then parted. I was to meet Malay for a KFC crave fest, so while I was waiting I went to the internet cafe to keep myself entertained. I met up with him later at KFC, and just like Shuing, he started telling me about Michelle's weekend, which was a far cry from the fun they seemed to have from the photos.

He said he could tolerate Bob for a few hours, but a whole weekend was too much for him. He said he noticed Michael L and Eva not getting along. And he also said that the guys paid Michelle out a lot, which is one of the things I suspected - people didn't go to celebrate her birthday, they just went because it was a group outing thing. Here she is paying for the accomodation and going to the trouble of organising everything, and everyone just takes advantage of her.

Malay seemed to want to talk about my dislike for Bob somewhat, but I wasn't really in the mood, preferring to talk about random crap and the NBA.

After KFC, I went to get some chips for the game later that night and he waited for me outside smoking a cigarette. On our way to the bus stop he stopped at a cafe to chat with his friends, and then we caught the bus back home together.

I got to watch Game 6 of Rockets vs Lakers, which was a pretty good game. I think the Lakers will take Game 7. Houston just looked too shaky even in their win. I mean, on a lot of possessions they struggled to shoot within 24 seconds. The Lakers just had a bad game, and the Rockets had a bit of luck on their side. I loved it when Ron Artest just ran away off the court after being slightly bumped by Kobe, lol.

This morning I went to see my doctor about my knee. My mom called yesterday to try to make an appointment, but was told that it was full and that I could try my luck by just waiting.

I've done it before, and I think I've also said before that it seemed to me that it didn't make much of a difference - whether I booked or not, I always seemed to go after everyone else who was there before me.

Well today, I waited from 7:30am to 12:30pm. Fucking hell. I thought about going, thinking that my knee was probably going to be ok, but lucky I stayed, because the doctor said, when he was pushing down on it, that something seemed loose, and he had concerns about my ACL. He gave me a referral for some scans which I will probably do on Wednesday.

When I got back to my car, I realised that when I parked I had hit the kerb which was higher than usual, scratching a sizeable chunk of paint off and scratching the underside. I also received a ticket for parking longer than permitted.

I am not having a very good year am I? Just off the top of my head, this year I have had an eye infection which started reducing my vision, I had my asthma come back to bite me, I've lost sooo much money at the casino, I received a $200 fine for not having a valid train ticket, I've received numerous parking infringements, and now my knee.

I think at the end of the year I'm going to go through my entries and list through all the bad things that have happened. But I suppose I was due for a bad year, seeing that I've had a pretty good life thus far.

I did some work on a spreadsheet earlier, and now my neck is tired. My knee is also throbbing lightly, which is annoying. It scares me to think that this limp might not go away. Everyone recovers from sports injuries...right?

The Glue

"When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rockstar (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who made you"
-- We Made You, Eminem

Yesterday I spent the whole day with GS and DC working in DC's office. His office is soooooo nice! It's on level 60 of a tower in the middle of the city, and the view from the reception is amazing! It overlooks the harbour side of the city. God I would love to work with a view like that. Just imagine taking a break from work by staring outside the window, that would be a really good way to relax.

After work I organised to meet up with Shuing for a drink. Part of me didn't want to do it, to keep up my 'nomadic' lifestyle away from them, but at the same time, I didn't want Shuing to feel disrespected, because he's really just an innocent bystander in all this and he's a pretty cool guy I get along with fairly well.

Met him at his office and then we went to Gloria Jeans where I shouted him a drink. He asked for a small but I bought him a large, thinking it's probably not often I'd see him anyway.

I had thought that he would've been told by now the reason I was staying away from them, and I had prepared to just dish it all out and talk shit about Bobby, but I really don't think he knows. He just accepted my previous explanation that I had been busy with work, and then frank discussion started when we talked about Michelle's birthday weekend.

Looking at the facebook photos that they all posted, you'd think they had a pretty good time. To be honest, I was a little jealous when I saw them, because it looked like they had such a good time without me. But then things were slowly revealed bit by bit.

He told me about how Eva had started showing signs of lowered interest in Michael L. She apparently complained to Michelle about how Michael L wasn't helping her enough at abseiling, and then later Shuing heard them arguing. I had always wondered when Eva would start getting annoyed with his argumentative ways, maybe it's finally starting to show. I still think he's pretty lucky to have her, because she's always happy and is such a nice person.

And then Shuing said some things which I had always suspected/hoped.

1) He said it was now a bit awkward hanging out with Bob. He felt that Bobby was angry for some reason, and it was just 'awkward' being with him.

2) He said that hanging out with the group wasn't the same without me. He felt that I was the glue in the group - the one who held everyone together.

Yes! I knew it! I had always felt that way! It's sooo good to have confirmation!

He later went on to say that he now felt that it was his job to keep the group together, and that if they lost one more then it would pretty much be the end of it. I know it's bad of me, but maybe it's human nature to want to think that others can't do as well without you. I sometimes wonder if Bobby would ever regret it if the group did end up parting.

3) He said that Michelle told him that Bobby had recently been rejected by a girl at work. This isn't as good as point 2, and it's not something I had hoped for, but it's still good to know.

We talked about girls, he said he was unsure about the girl he had taken to the eastershow, mainly because she keeps bringing up her ex-boyfriend. I told him it's not worth it if she's going to keep doing that.

I told him about my visit to Tracy's place with Ele a while ago. I didn't mean to, it just kinda slipped when we were talking about Jenny having to return to China because she couldn't find work here, and I said Tracy was in a similar position. He thought from that that I had been going out with Ele, and I had to remind him that I haven't been in contact with her for about two months now.

Of even more interest is how he thought it was a good sign for me that Ele said her boyfriend was overseas and that she didn't know how it'd work out. Probably a moot point now, since I've decided not to go down that path now.

It was good catching up with him. I thought it would've been a little awkward but we had a really frank and candid talk. I wonder if he'll blame me later on when he finally finds out the real reason for my abeyance.

Not much improvement in my knee today, I guess it slows down after the first few days. We had court but without the jury. Maybe it's because we haven't been sitting lately, but I didn't really feel like it.

Or maybe it was because I had pending job prospects on my mind. With probably about 4-5 weeks to go in this, I'm starting to really feel and appreciate the seriousness of the situation I'm in: no serious job offer and a significant credit card debt.

I had been expecting a call from the other side to offer me an interview, because they said applicants would be contacted in mid-May, and I was pretty sure that my credentials would be sufficient. After all, everyone seems to want someone with at least two years' experience, and I have that now.

But with each day that passed, I seemed to get angrier and angrier at whoever was the HR that culled my application. I mean, when Bush passed my resume on, I got the interview straight away, so it's obviously not a merit issue. I saw it as some HR person being picky, or choosing someone they knew, throwing my application away before the actual selectors even had a chance to see it.

But anyway, I decided to email the dude who interviewed me that time to say that I wasn't going to be available late May as I had said before. He replied saying that the interviews they were doing now for the permanent position "supersedes" the previous one, which meant that had I not known, and had I not applied, I would've DEFINITELY been out of a job after this because the position was no longer there!

He went on to say that he knew I had applied for the permanent one, and that I'd "probably" get an interview. I'm not sure if he's giving me some inside information, or if he's just comforting me.

But I guess whether or not he is, I still should start looking at other jobs just to be safe.

Tuesday
I woke up today with a lot less pain, and I was a lot more mobile. I didn't have to take stairs one step at a time anymore, but when I was only up on my right leg, I could feel that it was wobbly and unstable. Knee still looks swollen.

Got to the office late because I stayed up watching the Celtics-Magic game last night. What a great game! Too bad it was a replay, because they showed Big Baby Davis' shot like once and then moved onto the next program. And btw, that Rafer Alston trade now looks like it really worked out for Houston eh?

Anyway, being late didn't really matter because no one was there. I spent the first half of the day printing, and then the second half reading it while listening to Relapse. Boy, reading about the stuff that went on inside this guy's house kinda makes me feel like a peeping tom, so I wonder how the guy actually listening to it as it happened felt.

The main theme throughout was the constant arguing between the husband and wife. As I read more and more, I wondered if marriage was really like that. He didn't treat her that well either, and I wondered why she even chose a guy like him. I mean, he pushed her while she was pregnant, he swore at her, and he made her ask him for permission just to leave the house. Gee, and a guy like me is still single. I must be doing something wrong.

I had to take a couple of folders for DC and GS tomorrow, so I borrowed DC's trolley. As I was pulling it through to the train station, I found it to be quite a sexy trolley. This guy really knows how to spend. Or maybe his wife bought it for him.

About my knee - I think I'm going to take at least 5-6 weeks off. Even if I feel that I've recovered before that, I don't want any risks. I want everything to be back to normal before I even start to train. Just thinking about pushing off on it now in sprints makes me cringe.

This morning I was also thinking about my job prospects, so I finally decided to get off my lazy ass, and earlier I did a brief search for jobs. Seems like the market for crime is still there. But I don't really want to work in private practice anymore, because it's too money-motivated for me. I think I'd prefer to settle into a nice government job, which is stable and pays decent.

Fluid in knee

Just as I had expected, I woke up with lots of pain in my right knee, and it didn't help that my cat was sleeping on it. I quickly lifted my cat off my knee, and she was probably wondering what on earth I was doing.

Walking was a lot harder than yesterday, as I was now not just limping, but struggling to walk. Because of this, I decided to drive to work today, since I couldn't picture myself doing all that travelling to the jails.

As I walked down the stairs, I knew I had made the right decision. I had to take one step at a time because I just couldn't bend my knee enough to take a step with my right leg.

I listened to Eminem's Relapse as I drove to work. Seems like a pretty good album, I think I can really start liking it.

I wasn't expecting anyone in the office today, but DD came in, and I guessed he just came in to do some work. As I was looking for something in Maria's room, I heard some knocks on the door. It took me some time to reach it, and when I opened it, it was the guy from the other side saying there was a mention on today.

Lucky I had learnt my lesson from the other day - this time I had brought a tie. I told DD about it, and eventually we made our way up to court. The police and JM asked me about my limping, and I just said I twisted my knee. I didn't know what the hell was going on, and they seemed to be in the mood for conversation, but I just walked away and joined a conversation DD was having with RM.

I'm sure RM thinks I know nothing about the case, but the (good?) thing about him is that he is so polite and courteous that it is impossible to hate him. He's just one of those guys who are extremely polite, so you'd never know his true face. He always kept me involved in the conversation with eye contact even though I didn't say anything.

When the judge came on I was a little nervous because I didn't know if he was going to ask me anything. I mean, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to, but I was nervous about that small little possibility. However, I wasn't expecting him to have an indirect go at me.

Since no one knew about the mention, and DD had just come by chance, it was just DD and I at the bar. And then the judge says something like "well DD, you're the only one here I can aim at..."

What a prick.

I worked in the office until about noon, when I headed off to the same place that I had my blood tested. Despite it being quite busy, I really didn't have to wait long to see a doctor. However, I was pretty shocked at the treatment I got.

I told him what had happened to my knee, he asked me to lift my pants leg up, he looked at my knee, then asked me to lift the other one up, he compared them, said there was a bit of fluid, asked me to squat to see how low I could go, I couldn't squat very low, and he just sent me off like that, saying all I needed was rest.

I know if I went to my regular doctor he'd at least have a feel to see if anything was out of place, which is what I'm worried about. I just have a feeling something is not in the right position as I walk.

Anyway, I grabbed some Macca's for lunch and then drove to the jails. At the jails, we bumped into DH. Apparently DC knows her, and they were talking and I overheard Fam's firm being mentioned. DC later told me that there were some allegations that Fam's firm was pretending to be a group of baristas........god, there's no way I'm working there now.

As I sat there during the conference, I sometimes wondered how I would be if I ever ended up in jail. Would I be as happy as my client? How would I treat my lawyers? Would I actually enjoy jail, where I'd have time to read, work out and play basketball?

After the conference I drove to one of the streets that is heavily featured throughout our case. It's a main street, predominantly filled with Islamic shops, and the others were Asian shops. I didn't intend to stop, I just wanted to drive through and see what it was like, but it was really beautiful, so I decided to pull over and take a walk.

Like A and I were saying yesterday, it's good how we went to a multi-cultural school because it's easier for us to accept and understand other cultures; whereas if we had gone to a school that was dominated by one race or culture, seeing other cultures would seem kinda weird.

I really wanted to try some exotic fast food, but most of the stores were closed. I did however, see that guy who came to court to watch once. I recognised him because he has that thing to help him walk, which folds out into a seat. I remember he converted it into a seat while waiting for the lifts, and DC joked that it was convenient. The guy obviously didn't find it very funny.

I drove back to my suburb, and bought a pack of chips and some chocolate in preparation of tonight's replay of Boston vs Magic game 4!!!

Sunday comp: 4-6

Well again I had intended to go for a shoot around this morning, but it was raining so the weather decided it for me.

I went out to the city instead, to the internet cafe to do some research on my 'project'. Hmmm...let's call it Project X.

After about an hour of research, I went to try my luck with the tattoo place again, and again the same result. I headed home, where I did a bit of work on Project X in my garage with the spray paint. Still not sure whether it's better than a marker, I'll have to obtain the real thing to compare.

I drove to the gym where I had a quick workout, ate a fruit salad, did a bit of grocery shopping, then went to a hardware place to see if they had any tools I could use for my Project X. Quite an interesting place, definitely a lot of learning there for me, but I didn't find anything useful for present purposes, but then I got the idea to try a kitchenware place or an arts and craft store, so I drove to the shopping centre near me to try some stores.

I did see a few useful things like cookie cutters and scales, but weren't sure if they were the right size, so decided to wait until I obtained the real thing first.

I returned home where I made myself a sausage, potato and gravy sandwich while watching Seinfeld, and then just waited around for A to pick me up.

I really didn't feel like playing ball. Basketball was the last thing on my mind. This project had taken up my interest. I felt that I'd been playing too much basketball for too long, I think the Thursday comp really drained me. It's hard to believe, but playing in a comp that long can take its toll. I felt like taking a break from it all, I needed to re-charge.

But then, as I was getting changed, I thought "fuck it, go out and own everyone tonight". And with that, my lust for basketball came back - for now at least.

A picked me up pretty much right on time, he seems very punctual. He didn't end up having his wedding photos taken today because of the weather. We both agreed that all those people in the wedding industry make a killing out of it, mainly because women don't hold back when it comes to it.

We got stuck in traffic a bit, so got to the game right on the dot. But as I neared the court, I saw one end was completely empty - that's usually a bad sign because it means everyone has gathered around the centre of the court for the jump ball.

They had just tipped off, and I realised we had three while they had four. Fat Pat was nowhere to be seen. Again, I was disappointed, because he didn't tell me, and because he said he'd ask his friends since I told him Daniel wasn't going to make it today.

A and I quickly subbed on, and then their fifth guy turned up moments later so it was five on five (their sixth guy also turned up later). We were already down by like six or eight points when we came on, but we managed to catch up relatively quickly.

Despite having no warm up at all, I had a pretty good first half, driving it in for baskets and hitting a three.

At halftime, that half hot referee with broken arms came over to our bench to tell A that if he kept lowering his shoulder then she was going to call it. I joked that that was how she got her broken arms, and she laughed, hehe.

The second half was a different story, as Sunni guarded me man to man, effectively shutting me out of our offense. I'll give him credit for doing a good job, because I really didn't get the ball at all. It was very, VERY frustrating watching the other four guys fumble the ball, lose the ball, make bad passes, and just being unable to score. Very frustrating.

Mike told the guys to set me screens, and then when he took a bad forced shot, I shot at him angrily "is that a screen?" To be fair, he had a pretty extraordinary game, scoring a team high (maybe even game high) 17 points, whereas I had 11.

We were up by five points with 10 minutes to go, but their defense really closed us out and we just couldn't score, so they eventually took the lead and won the game by six.

With a bit more than one minute to go, I got the ball and drove it baseline, trying to get off a jumper. Two guys closed out on me, I got the shot off but it hit the top of the backboard, and then I landed - badly.

I felt an enormous pain in my knee as I landed, feeling something inside twist and go horribly wrong. I yelled out and collapsed onto the floor, but the game went on and it was stopped moments later.

I laid there clutching my knee and groaning. Mike the idiot went to get ice instead of continuing the game, and so I spent the rest of the game on the floor holding the ice pack to my knee hoping it wasn't anything serious. I mean, I was pretty sure it wasn't anything serious, but I had never had an knee injury before, so the pain was a first.

I was still in a lot of pain after the game finished, and the broken arms ref came over and said something like it was a shame because I had a minute more to go, and she said she had told management about it, not that anyone came to see me afterwards.

The guys sat around me for a while before I got up and limped to the bench. We took a couple of team photos, and that was how our season ended.

I haven't had a very good year so far.

KFC all day

Yesterday we didn't have court but I went to the office anyway. I was late because of our late game, and just after I had put my stuff down, Kate came in and said we might have court.

I was a little worried because I hadn't of worn my tie, she said I could get away with just doing up the top button, but luckily GS keeps a couple of ties in his room, so I borrowed one of them. It really didn't go with a black shirt, but I wasn't in the best position to be choosy.

When I went up there, the staff joked that I had found a tie, and then told me that there was no court after all.

As I worked through the rest of the day, I came up with an idea to make money. I can't remember if I came up with it or if I had come across the internet, but either way, it seemed like a feasible one.

I left at 3pm to head out to the city for a conference with my client's family members at GS' office. Shuing called me and asked if I was free that night, and I said I had bball practice but that I'd be able to meet him for a drink after work.

The conference went fine, it's so much different with GS, because you can see the structure he's going through. It's very logical and easy to follow. Again, I must say, DC seems to go everywhere which makes it hard to follow and take notes.

The conference went longer than expected, and I missed Shuing's calls during that time, so I guess he just went home because he didn't return my calls. In one sense I just want to exit out of that group of friends, but at the same time I don't want to offend Shuing or G.

I went to buy some KFC to take home, because there was an NBA game on and because I hadn't done it for a long time. I know my mom likes the hot and spicy type, so I got that. It was a bit of a struggle to carry onto the bus, but I managed.

So anyway, I spent the night eating KFC and watching Game 2 of Cavs vs Hawks. Is Lebron really that good, or are the Hawks just that shit? Seriously, it looked like Lebron just walked through their defense and dunked it - no big man waiting for him, no collapsing defence, nothing.

I fell asleep on the couch in the fourth quarter because it was such a blow out. And watching Joe Johnson and Josh Smith not get back on defence just because they misse da shot or they felt they were fouled reminded me of Geoff. You'd think that at that level you'd learn to just forget about it and get back to play some D.

This morning, I had intended to go to the courts for a shootaround, but got lazy. Instead, I bummed around the house, got some more sleep, and then went out to the city to try the fake tattoo place again, only to see that lady that I saw last week so I skipped it.

I wandered around the city a bit looking for another one, then went home. So far my diet today has just been KFC and cola, great.

Thursday comp: 0-1-1

Man I was so out of it yesterday. In court I was struggling to keep my eyes open because I was so tired.

I hope I didn't offend Twish by saying no to her lunch invitation since I had brought my own. I just don't want people to think there's something going on between us.

As I caught the train back to the city after work, I had this huge headache. I had decided to go home to get some sleep, but another part of me decided to go to the casino. That latter part of me soon took over, and my headache was merely something in the background. It was like I was on auto-pilot as I maneuvered my way through the traffic of people towards the casino.

I lost $700, not believing that the stupid little ball wouldn't land in my zone within those spins. And it didn't. I hated the dealer, but more importantly, I hated myself.

As I made my way back to the main area of the city, I called the gambling helpline just as I was on the bridge. I spoke to a man named Leo, and I sat down on a bench as I just broke down, telling him about my problems.

So there I was, in the middle of the bridge with all these people who had just finished work walking past, pouring my eyes out, on the phone, with my head down. Talking to Leo and letting it all out, being completely honest made me feel a lot better, but in a strange way. He referred me to a counselling service, but I don't think I'll go. I really think that phone call made the difference. Sometimes it's unbelievable how much impact talking to someone can have.

He told me that, put in perspective, I wasn't the worst case scenario - there were people who would gamble for years before even admitting they had a problem. He kept saying that it was good that I was at least trying to do something about it. I know it was just positive reinforcement, but maybe it was what I needed.

I headed back home after that, wondering if people passing me could tell I had just been crying.

Our game was at 10, so I tried to get as much rest as I could without actually sleeping, but no matter what I did, my headache wouldn't go away. I had no intentions of playing tonight, not just because of my headache, but because we have a full roster of 10 and I thought maybe it was a good time to be coach and let Macro and Jeff get better and more experience at the PG position. In any case, I got dressed just to prepare for the unexpected.

On my drive there, I seriously felt so sleepy that I knew it was dangerous. I felt like I was going to fall asleep at any moment. Every blink became heavier, and the chances of me not opening my eyes again increased ever so slightly.

I felt like it was such a struggle, and when I reached that long road that leads to the stadium, it was 9:30 so I decided to park on the side of the road to take a short nap. I laid down in the backseat of my car, and before I knew it I dozed off to sleep. Then I woke up later, and everything was so quiet.

Damn, did I die in a car accident?

No wait, you just fell asleep.

Shit, it's 10:30!

I drove down the road a bit more and turned into the stadium car park, walked into the game and saw that we were in the last minutes of the first half, trailing 11-18. I was glad to see everyone could organise themselves without me, and I was also glad to see Mike managed to bring Carter to the team. I watched as this guy grabbed so many 'normal' rebounds - something we aren't normally able to do, and I realised how much that changed the game for us.

I sat on the bench the whole game, never wanting to play, because I was confident that they'd do alright. I watched as they slowly clawed their way back, and got the same frustrations with Mike as he threw a bad pass to Jeff which could've lead to an easy basket, and as he missed a point blank shot that could've given us the lead.

In the last minute Abi hit a long two to tie the game, which got all of us excited on the bench, and the game ended up being a tie.

The drive back wasn't nearly as exhausting, as I had gotten my rest, but I was just wondering about what I had become. I mean, I am not the type of player you'd think would miss a game because he fell asleep. Like, would you ever see a headline "John Stockton misses game - fell asleep"? No, because he's such a good boy, and that's the image I give off. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't surprise anyone if there was a headline "Stephon Marbury misses game - fell asleep", and that's not you.

And we all know why you fell asleep.

Maybe, this is the low point of my life, and I'll change because I'm on the brink?

3:30 am wake up call

Went to lunch with Twish yesterday. I suggested Hungry Jacks' because I only had $5 on me, and I was pretty sure she'd be ok with it. Maybe I'm being a hypocrite - I've always wanted a girl who enjoyed fast food as much as I do, but seeing her with it seems to have the opposite of the intended effect. Maybe it's because she seems to enjoy it more than I do.

Her and DC keep talking to me during court, and I'm starting to feel really bad because I don't want the jury to think that I'm/we're not taking this seriously. If they do think that, I hope they will have enough sense not to take it out on my client. But I will try to refrain from any extra-curricular activities with them.

At the end of the day, it was just DC, Twish and I. Twish was in her room with her door closed, although we could hear her on the telephone because she was so loud. I can't remember what I said, but it was like a minor diss on her, and DC asked if I liked her, and whether there was anything "blossoming".

I knew people would get that impression when they saw us going out to lunch together, so I've always tried to keep my distance. I told him no, and he asked if I was sure. Then we heard Twish yell on the phone, and DC said "she needs a bit of affection".

Umm yeah, I can't even give it to myself, what makes you think I can provide it to others?

On the train back to the city, some Asian girl sat down next to me as I was on my laptop playing games. I noticed the seats across from us were vacant. She practically leaned over looking at my screen, and I was a bit freaked out. She did this for a while and I thought about starting a conversation, before I thought "wait, she might be a psycho". In the end I just packed my laptop away and listened to my music.

As I was walking out of Central, I saw Bree just at the last moment she passed me. Wish she liked me, oh well.

I was intending to go to the gym last night, but then felt tired, so just stayed at home and had dinner.

I woke up at 3:30am today. Why? Because last night I told myself that I'd go to the casino in the morning, and so my body subconsciously woke me up to go. That is how powerful this drug is.

I went at like 4am. Was up $300, but then lost and left with a $100 gain.

You'd think that it wouldn't be very busy at this time, but the four tables they had opened were all packed. One guy on the $10 table had $100 chips sprawled out around the numbers in the third dozen, then lost all of it. He took out $1,500 in notes, exchanged it, and lost. Fuck me dead.

Crying at work

Man I'm still thinking about that little altercation on Sunday. In some weird way I feel empowered. That feeling of pushing him and then seeing him back down. He was bigger than me, I'd say it was like an Iverson vs Pierce comparison. But I felt I was more muscular than him, stronger.

Yesterday was DC's xx of two witnesses - the first time he'd speak in front of the jury in this case. I knew he was somewhat nervous about it because he asked to see me on Sunday, and I was a bit iffy about it so he ended up saying not to worry about it.

So I decided to get to work extra early to help him, but he didn't arrive until like 9:30.

His xx was alright, I think he spoke too fast and cut the witnesses off just a little bit. I know, it's easy to criticise. Not sure if he always xx like that, or if it was just because he was nervous. It went well though, fairly smoothly. Or so they say in this case, "swimmingly".

In court at one stage, in the presence of the jury, I started to hear some bickering between CW and Twish. I only made out CW saying "well can you help me?" and the rest I couldn't hear clearly, but it was obvious they were bickering. However, I must've underestimated the severity of it as one juror looked over, and EO (who sits in front of Twish and CW) turned around to see what was going on.

During a break I heard Twish in her room with the door closed talking to someone on the phone and crying. It made me think about just exactly how many people cried on the job. Maybe my experience wasn't rare. I remember Kate told me she cried after EO and DD went off at her.

I felt sorry for Twish, but I didn't want to be the one comforting her, because: 1) I didn't want her or anyone else to think I liked her; and 2) in my opinion she was the one in the wrong.

She's always complaining to me that CW loses things and that she has to get everything for him. I think everyone loses things, especialy baristas because they have so much work and responsibilities. Our job is to be there to support them, to help them do their job.

Everytime I have heard CW ask Twish for something, she'll just tell him to get it himself or she's too busy. What kind of a response is that? How can I possibly side with someone who treats her superior like that?

And even more, when we're in court, often she'll do unrelated work, most notably her tax return. I mean come on, your client is facing life and you're using work time to do personal things? I'll admit court sometimes gets boring - like yesterday when we had the explosives witness, I got bored, but I just started reading up on other aspects of the case on my laptop. I have never sat in court and worked on anything personal - it's too unprofessional.

And to top it off, I actually think she's lucky to have CW because: 1) some baristas out there will really go off at you and treat you like shit, whereas CW is a pretty nice man; and 2) he's pretty talented too, he has a way with words, so I'd take the chance to learn as much as I could from him.

So when Twish invited me to lunch yesterday, I just said I had brought my own, mainly because I had, and I didn't want to sit through an hour of her whinging.

Anyway, after work yesterday I went to the doctor's to get the results of my blood test. I was fairly sure there'd be nothing, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about that small 1% chance. It's like shooting from point blank range right next to the basket - sure, you'll most likely hit it, but don't tell me you wouldn't feel nervous if your life depended on it.

I waited only a short time (isn't this place incredible??) before an old, Asian doctor came out to see me. I told him I was there for the results, and he pulled up my file on the computer.

Then he made a face.

What? Don't do that, that means bad news.

Then he picked up the phone.

Oh great, now it's complicated.

He just asked the receptionist to close my file so he could open it.

Phew.

Then he told me it was negative. I stared at him blankly, even though I knew what he meant. He said I had nothing. He said if I was suspicious I should come back in about four months time. I sure goddamn will, because that will be the real test.

And I walked out just like that, a little surprised that I was deemed to be completely healthy, as I was sure I had something minor.

Also went to the gym last night, was really motivated by what had happened on Sunday.

Sunday comp: 4-5

No no, I haven't made a mistake. It really is 4-5 because we had a double header yesterday.

In the morning I went to the courts to work on my free throws. I had to go really early because I thought those guys would come again and I didn't want to play a game. I took 100 free throws and made 47. Hmmm.

After that I went home, intent on giving that fake tattoo place another go until I saw that they were going to show an NBA game in about an hour.

Aight, fuck that, fuck that.

I went out to get some bread and meat for the upcoming week's lunch, and some chips for the game. So I spent the next couple of hours watching Game 7 of the Celtics-Bulls series eating chips. It was a pretty good game, pretty tight all the way through. I was a bit worried when the Bulls got off to that fast start, and I swore out loud when Scalabrine had that breakaway dunk BLOCKED by a GUARD (Rose).

I think I found out during the game that I was actually rooting for the Celtics. Paul Pierce continues to amaze me because I watched him moving almost in slow motion, yet no one could stop him as he ran around the whole Bulls' defense, drove in and dunked it. In slow motion.

In the middle of the game I was pretty sure the Celtics would pull through because of their experience. I'm pretty surprised and happy that Stephon could allow himself to play such a supportive role, but I still think he should be able to hit the shots he takes.

And Eddie House was on fire!!! I stomped hard on my carpet everytime he hit a three. And that was NOT taunting. You could obviously see some of the Bulls' bench were saying stuff in his ears as he took that sideline shot, and even the commentator said, when you shoot from there it's like there's another defender. So they're allowed to yell in his ear as he shoots but he can't say anything back?

Anyway, by the time the game finished it was nearly time to get ready for bball. I got changed and then drove out to pick A up. We talked about the Celtics-Bulls series, and in particular that Derrick Rose block on Scalabrine, as I was still expressing my disgust on a CENTER having his BREAKAWAY DUNK BLOCKED by a GUARD. We somehow managed to go from that to gambling, and he was telling me about his experiences in different casinos, although he doesn't gamble, and then he told me how he had applied for a job at a gaming company because he reckons his company will be letting people go soon.

At that time I felt kinda sorry for him, because he was such a nice guy, and I didn't want him to lose his job, although with his experience I'm sure he won't have a problem finding another one. But at the same time I thought about how if the economic downturn was affecting him, then surely it'd affect Bobby, and I wanted him to lose his job.

Anyway, we played had a full team for both games today. We played the Bus Drivers first, and had a three point headstart because of our lead in the game that was cancelled.

I thought it was a lot like Game 7, because it was pretty close throughout, and just like the Celtics, we managed to slowly exaggerate our lead towards the end of the game to clinch it.

When I was sitting on the bench, the hot ref was standing right in front of me, and I checked out her left hand to see.......that she was married =(

I scored I think eight points, on two threes and a two. On one of the threes, it looked almost as if it was a set play. Daniel was taking the ball up, and I ran along the baseline from one side of the court to the other, and when I reached the other side he passed it to me. I caught it, turned, jumped, and popped it up as it rattled in.

And in the beginning of the game, one of their guys had a fastbreak, and I felt like I gave a half effort in the chase and jumped from behind, only to completely swat the shot out of his hands as everyone watching started cheering and roaring. I couldn't help but let a little smile creep across my face as everyone on my team gave me high fives. A came up to me and said something about the Derrick Rose block.

I thought it was really important to win that game, because we had an hour of rest afterwards before our next game, and I didn't want them, especially Fat Pat, to lie around with a losing feeling.

Daniel hurt his back at the end of the game, and I was a bit worried because he kept complaining about it. I just hoped he was alright for the next game.

During the hour of rest, Fat Pat and Mike went to do duty. Daniel, Joe, Yunk and I all hung around the stands resting. Daniel and I were just lazing about while Yunk and Joe watched the game. A sat kinda far away from us all by himself. I really wonder why he distances himself from the team.

It's kinda funny, because I remember when we used to have double header when I was younger, I used to be so energetic during the breaks, but here I was, like an old man, trying to get as much rest as possible.

When it was time for our next game, my legs felt a little tired, but mentally I was ready. We were playing UC, who I think were tied for first or second. From one of their games I watched, they were about our size, so I couldn't understand how they were doing so well. But Mike kept saying they had this big white guy, and sure enough, when both teams were warming up, that was the first time I saw him. He was indeed pretty big.

The game was physical right from the beginning, although we got off to an early 23-10 lead. I watched as their big guy palmed us off, threw elbows and basically shoved us out of the way. At halftime, this was the exchange between me and Andrew the referee:

Me: If he keeps doing that, then I'm gonna do it back to him.

Andrew: Then do it.

Yep, real satisfactory and professional response.

This started a whole talk between my team and the two referees, and somehow I ended up talking to the girl referee. She was saying that she was just letting the game flow (???) and I told her that I had to protect my players.

Then it got really interesting in the second half.

Number 10 on the other team drove it in between Daniel and I. As he got through he went up for a shot and I blocked the shot just as a whistle blew. I paused as usual to see who the foul was on, knowing that it was probably me, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with number 10 standing over me.

Man what the fuck?

I got up quickly, and for a moment I thought he'd push me back down, so to my surprise I got back up without a problem. I shoved him in the face and yelled "what the fuck is your problem?"

At this point I was ready for a fight. I wasn't just ready for a fight, I was ready to belt the shit out of him. He had been a bit of a dickhead throughout the game, but I didn't think it had gotten to a stage like this.

As I was bracing myself for a fight, I stared into his eyes and saw him take a step back. Then I felt the ball hit my head lightly, and I turned around to see who it was, thinking someone had thrown the ball at me.

The referees and some of the players separated and surrounded us. I heard Andrew call a foul on Daniel, and I was explaining to the girl ref that I didn't do anything wrong, and she asked if I wanted to sit down for five minutes (???).

I still hadn't come to a full understanding of what had just happened, and I couldn't even believe they called a foul on Daniel cause I thought I hammered him.

10 went to the line to shoot the free throws, and I felt like saying something when he missed the first, but then restrained myself.

The rest of the game didn't get any better as they full court presses us and kept up their dirty play. The only thing that did change were the calls - the girl ref was now making a lot of calls in our favour. I mean, a LOT of calls. Most of which probably weren't even fouls, and that just upset the other team even more.

To be honest, I felt the altercation made me hesitate more offensively, but I think it had the same impact on 10. He kept bumping into me hard when he had the ball, and I just stood my ground firmly, but I could tell he was hesitating on shots.

During a timeout Daniel told me it was right to stand up for myself, which was good, because at this stage I was still dazed as to what was going on, and consequently I was questioning myself. I told everyone to remain calm and in control, because we were the ones in the lead.

Things got worse for the other team as Daniel kept scoring and we always maintained at least a nine point lead. Number 10 even got a technical for arguing with the girl ref. He quickly apologised after that, and then a few plays later started complaining again. Bipolar dickhead.

During a substitution when Yunk came on for me, I asked Joe's girlfriend what had actually happened. She said 10 pushed me, and that someone was bouncing the ball to the referee but accidentally hit me.

As I watched on, I could see Yunk was pretty scared out there. It made me think about how much more grown up I was now. I think if I was 18 right now I would've been scared too. He kept losing the ball and Fat Pat and Daniel were yelling for me to get back on, so I did.

Then their little point guard Tony started losing it. As far as I know he's always been a nice guy, sometimes we even say hi to eachother when we pass, but I could tell he had lost it, as he ran around the court like a headless chicken. On one drive at the end of the game, I had pretty much let him go but he deliberately ran into me and headbutted my face. I was like, what the fuck? Your beef isn't with me, it's with Daniel, cause I remember at halftime they were arguing, and all I heard was Tony saying to Daniel "fuck you cunt".

It felt so good when the game finished. Like I've said before, there's nothing better than the feeling of beating a team you hate. It is THE BOMB! Daniel cracked a joke, saying "my back feels better now", lol. I was glad everyone listened to me and didn't get emotional and T'd up, because at one stage that could've been costly.

You know what I've realised? That guy never got T'd up for pushing me. So you can just push people down now and get away with it? I mean, hell, give us a double T, do something, but you can't just do nothing about something like that.

And also, that mother fucker never answered my question.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This morning I went to the courts, fully intent on working on my free throws. Just as I was warming up my shooting, some guy I'd played with before waved me over. I looked at him and hesitated, but then agreed to join him.

It was just a social three on three thing, and his girlfriend was even playing. I was a little surprised, because she was boxing out better than Mike. It's always hard to play against a girl - they can go 100% against you but you can't do the same to them.

The game then turned into a four on four with the addition of a guy and his girlfriend. The guy looked like he had just come out of an ancient Chinese film, I thought it was funny. Another funny thing was that one guy on my team played shit but started scoring when he changed teams. I need to give a name to that transition.

We added another couple of guys and it turned into a five on five full court game. I knew that with a double header looming tomorrow that I shouldn't tire out my legs, but I really felt like some full court action.

One of the guys that joined was named Stuart. As soon as I saw him I knew I'd seen him somewhere before, but couldn't put my finger on it. He even said the same when he saw me, and I think during the game we were both trying to figure it out. I'm pretty sure it wasn't from basketball because I don't recognise his basketball style. I thought he may have been one of Ele/Tracy's friends from poker, but he said he'd never played poker at the uni.

We just played up to 21 and then most of them left, so I left as well. I went home, had a shower and headed out to the city. By now it was like 1pm, and I hadn't even had breakfast yet, so I went to eat at KFC. The chick who served me was kinda cute, but I didn't like her giving me one huge piece of chicken and one tiny piece.

I then went to the markets to try and get a fake tattoo, but I think the lady I spoke to didn't work there because she didn't want to do my business at all. Anyway, I went upstairs to the shops to look for a present for mother's day, and ended up buying a scarf. I also bought two white bball jerseys because they were get one buy one free for $20. I already have a black one and it's pretty good, but the only thing with these is that they're XXL, so they're a bit long on me. The ones that did fit were $40 and I haven't received my pay for the month yet so I have to ration.

I then went to watch Wolverine, I was pretty excited, hehehe. During the early trailers the screen just went blank for a while, which was pretty disappointing, because it was the Terminator trailer, and it looks alright. The other must-watch is Transformers!

Anyway, I can't believe how good Wolverine was! How awesome was the intro!! If I was the director and someone suggested that idea of them fighting in the war, then pausing it to show the names of the cast, then continuing onto the next war and so on, I would've said no because I could picture it as very unoriginal. But they managed to pull it off, creating an intense pumping up of the whole movie!!

Like I've said before, movies where a character leads an isolated life always seems to appeal to me, and this was no exception. Although I definitely wouldn't mind living in the mountaings with that girl who played Kayla Silverfox.

This was seriously one of those movies where I was interested in every second and didn't want to miss a beat, and I really really didn't want it to end. It was a beautiful mix of action, plot and romance. The other really cool part was the showing of the other mutants being locked up.

After watching the movie, it's done two things: 1) confirmed even more my decision not to go to Michelle's thing; and 2) given support to my nomadic ways.

I think they should make a movie for each X-Men character, and just try to milk as much money as they can from it, and then they can delve more into each story. If they did that I'd watch every single one.