Do I really want to be with a gambler? (Misha)
Yesterday I dropped $4000 at the casino. What was most frustrating was I (like most other times) had a chance to leave with a gain, but I got greedy and kept playing. I had lost my initial $2000 without ever being up, so got another $2000 and used to to fight my way back to a $300 gain. And from there, I lost it all back. That brought my total loss for the month to about $7900.
Horrible.
I felt like shit, but decided to see Misha, even though I told myself I'd see her when I fully recovered from my flu, which I hadn't. I was still coughing every now and then, but at least the leaking nose had stopped.
I hadn't seen her for about two weeks, which seemed so long. I guess I was starting to miss her. I wondered if she felt the same.
When she greeted me in the hallway, she said she knew it was me. As we walked towards the room at the back, she said she had been thinking about me. Once in the room, she said she went to the casino on Thursday night and was looking for me. I told her I don't go on Thursdays as I have basketball. Sometimes when I see the shop post the roster on Wechat, and when I don't see her listed, I always wonder if she's at the casino, and if so, whether she would try looking for me. Guess that answered that.
She mentioned again how once she was told of a booking today, she had a feeling it was me. She asked me about the casino, and I lied and said I hadn't been today. I lied again by saying I had made back all of my earlier $7000 loss except for $600, which would've been true had it been a week earlier. I told her $600 was easy to get and she seemed to disagree with me. I think she was right. I had lost all perspective now. When $100 or $200 seems like nothing, you know you've lost it.
She went out to get some drinks and came back with two cups of coke. She told me when she went to the casino she had $5000 and lost about $3000. She said she really wanted to go play and get it back. I jokingly asked if she wanted to go tomorrow, or the next week, or the week after. But she seemed like she wanted to go tonight, though I insisted I couldn't go tonight (because I had already made the withdrawal limit).
I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie next time as I could bring my computer, and she asked which one and I told her 21. She knew what it was about but said she hadn't seen it. I wondered if I had told her about it before. I started explaining to her how blackjack works and she asked me to wait while she went out. I assumed she went to get a pack of cards, but to my surprise she came back with a full poker set lol.
I asked if it was hers and she asked me why I wanted to know. Anyway, she pulled out the cards and some chips, and we played blackjack for a bit. After that she re-arranged things and we played baccarat with her being dealer lol. It was fun, but at the same time, I saw how obsessed she was with gambling, and it kinda scared me. But then again, aren't I like that?
Afterwards we laid down on the bed and I held her as we talked. Maybe it was because I was sick, but I wasn't very talkative and didn't have much in mind to say, though with her conversation just seems to flow. I told her about how some players move their chips onto the betting area and don't let go as they stare intently on the screen, which made her laugh as she said she does the same thing lol.
We talked about the people at the casino, because she said she saw the girl I asked out, but I told her I'm pretty sure it's the other 'Julie' that she's talking about. There are actually two Julies, and the other one is, as Misha has suggested before, kinda rude. She doesn't have any expressions on her face and doesn't talk. I told her this Julie was married, and she asked me how I knew. I said she had a ring on her wedding finger, which then prompted her (on top of me mentioning earlier that there were two gay supervisors) to ask me why I bother learning about their personal lives when I should just be there trying to win. She had a point.
I told her the new casino would be opening in 2019 and she said she didn't even know what she would be doing then. I jokingly said I'd be driving, she'd be next to me, and our kid would be in the back, and we'd go to yum cha. She didn't seem like she liked yum cha.
As I held her I would sometimes kiss her on the cheek or forehead. When I joked about seeing another girl, she didn't say anything. I wonder if those types of jokes were getting stale. Or maybe we have moved to the stage where she wouldn't like it if I saw someone else?
Before the buzzer went, she told me the hour was up. I kissed her on the cheek at the door before I left, and as we walked down the hallway she asked me why I didn't shave. I just asked if she didn't like it, and she didn't seem to respond.
Horrible.
I felt like shit, but decided to see Misha, even though I told myself I'd see her when I fully recovered from my flu, which I hadn't. I was still coughing every now and then, but at least the leaking nose had stopped.
I hadn't seen her for about two weeks, which seemed so long. I guess I was starting to miss her. I wondered if she felt the same.
When she greeted me in the hallway, she said she knew it was me. As we walked towards the room at the back, she said she had been thinking about me. Once in the room, she said she went to the casino on Thursday night and was looking for me. I told her I don't go on Thursdays as I have basketball. Sometimes when I see the shop post the roster on Wechat, and when I don't see her listed, I always wonder if she's at the casino, and if so, whether she would try looking for me. Guess that answered that.
She mentioned again how once she was told of a booking today, she had a feeling it was me. She asked me about the casino, and I lied and said I hadn't been today. I lied again by saying I had made back all of my earlier $7000 loss except for $600, which would've been true had it been a week earlier. I told her $600 was easy to get and she seemed to disagree with me. I think she was right. I had lost all perspective now. When $100 or $200 seems like nothing, you know you've lost it.
She went out to get some drinks and came back with two cups of coke. She told me when she went to the casino she had $5000 and lost about $3000. She said she really wanted to go play and get it back. I jokingly asked if she wanted to go tomorrow, or the next week, or the week after. But she seemed like she wanted to go tonight, though I insisted I couldn't go tonight (because I had already made the withdrawal limit).
I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie next time as I could bring my computer, and she asked which one and I told her 21. She knew what it was about but said she hadn't seen it. I wondered if I had told her about it before. I started explaining to her how blackjack works and she asked me to wait while she went out. I assumed she went to get a pack of cards, but to my surprise she came back with a full poker set lol.
I asked if it was hers and she asked me why I wanted to know. Anyway, she pulled out the cards and some chips, and we played blackjack for a bit. After that she re-arranged things and we played baccarat with her being dealer lol. It was fun, but at the same time, I saw how obsessed she was with gambling, and it kinda scared me. But then again, aren't I like that?
Afterwards we laid down on the bed and I held her as we talked. Maybe it was because I was sick, but I wasn't very talkative and didn't have much in mind to say, though with her conversation just seems to flow. I told her about how some players move their chips onto the betting area and don't let go as they stare intently on the screen, which made her laugh as she said she does the same thing lol.
We talked about the people at the casino, because she said she saw the girl I asked out, but I told her I'm pretty sure it's the other 'Julie' that she's talking about. There are actually two Julies, and the other one is, as Misha has suggested before, kinda rude. She doesn't have any expressions on her face and doesn't talk. I told her this Julie was married, and she asked me how I knew. I said she had a ring on her wedding finger, which then prompted her (on top of me mentioning earlier that there were two gay supervisors) to ask me why I bother learning about their personal lives when I should just be there trying to win. She had a point.
I told her the new casino would be opening in 2019 and she said she didn't even know what she would be doing then. I jokingly said I'd be driving, she'd be next to me, and our kid would be in the back, and we'd go to yum cha. She didn't seem like she liked yum cha.
As I held her I would sometimes kiss her on the cheek or forehead. When I joked about seeing another girl, she didn't say anything. I wonder if those types of jokes were getting stale. Or maybe we have moved to the stage where she wouldn't like it if I saw someone else?
Before the buzzer went, she told me the hour was up. I kissed her on the cheek at the door before I left, and as we walked down the hallway she asked me why I didn't shave. I just asked if she didn't like it, and she didn't seem to respond.
posted by toey | 22:22
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