Maybe I'm just meant to be alone?

Throughou the entire day I was waiting for a message from Jenny, even if it was just a "no, I'm busy".

It never came.

After work, I went to basketball as we had an early game against HBK. I hit two jumpers during the game, but at the end, for the third time in a row, I nearly staged a one man comeback. We were down by six with a minute to go and I hit a three in some guy's face. That could've easily started something but our mindset just wasn't there.

The week before, I hit a three at the end of the game which brought us a lot closer. And the week before that, I hit a jumper and got a steal late in the game to nearly bring us back.

As I sat down after tonight's game, I felt excited that I had hit a three. This was the second game in a row that I had hit a three. Imagine the commentator in the last game, "80 games between the last three he hit, and that one right there, unbelievable isn't it?"

Especially when you consider that I used to be a three point shooter.

However, the excitement was mixed with resignation. I had resigned to the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe being partnered with someone just wasn't for me. My immediate urge was to go out to a basketball court by myself and practice threes; not to go home to someone I loved and someone who loved me.

After eating with the team, as I travelled back home, I started getting angry. Angry at being lied to again. I think I give the words of women too much weight - if they say they will get back to me, I expect that they will. Is that too much to ask?

I began thinking about cancelling the contract I was on with the phone number I lent her. I went home and dug through my bills to see if the contract was up. I think it is. I pictured messaging her telling her to transfer it into her name so that she would bear the costs from then on.

Yes, that's what I'll do.