All good things must come to an end...

We always wondered what the government review of our office would be and whether the government would accept the recommendations. It had been a cloud floating over everyone's heads. Some I suspect even went on leave without pay for a year to take on another job in fear anticipation of the worst outcome.

Well, today we found out.

Maybe it would be good to start from the beginning...

In the morning I went down to the cafe to get breakfast see falafel girl. Breakfast was actually a large part of it though, I just felt it was too hot to have my oatmeal. Anyway, when I went down I was looking for something other than the bacon and egg wrap, so as I approached I was studying the menu, but she was at the counter and I avoided any eye contact and kept looking for something appealing on the menu.

She walked away and I ended up being served by a blonde girl. I also ended up just getting a bacon and egg wrap as I didn't see anything else that was good. Falafel girl walked by and looked at me and I said good morning.

She was laying out some bread in the counter for display and I 'fantasised' about her making my wrap instead of the blonde girl. Then, the next thing I knew, she was in front of me making my wrap. Wow. I didn't know what to say, and after a few moments of silence, I managed to ask "no smoked salmon today?" because where the smoked salmon was normally kept was empty.

She said there was and nonchalantly turned around to indicate that it was behind her. I said I'd come back later for it and she asked "today?" and I said yes.

Come lunch time, the plan was to grab a sandwich and read Matt's book (long overdue). However, the gambling bug got to me, and even though it was bloody 35 degrees, I still somehow managed to walk all the way to the casino.

I went to a table where some Asian man was playing, and looked at the score board - 11/14 spins had landed in the 0-3 section. My god. So naturally, after sitting out the first spin, I bet on 0-3 section and won. I then waited it out again and saw it was starting to even out with 1-2 so I played some outside bets and then won on a 1-2. One more outside bet win netted me a $200 gain so I left with that.

I walked back to my building and went to grab a sandwich. Falafel girl greeted me and asked if I wanted the usual and I said yes. She asked if I wanted butter and I said yes. When she came back to the counter she asked "onions?" and at first I was thinking "damn, she's forgotten what I want?" but then I think she was just trying to trick me. I told her what I wanted forgetting tomatoes and she reminded me lol.

As she was making it, I said "it's very hot out there" and I could sense a bit of a change in her, like she was happy I started a conversation. She said she liked hot and asked what my office was like, and I said it was very cold. I said she was lucky to be in here and not outside, and she said "I'm hot too" and pointed to the mini oven behind her.

As usual, when she handed me my sandwich and change, we made eye contact which just maybe seemed to suggest there was a little bit more there.

When I returned to my room, I saw an email from HR saying there would be a meeting at 2pm to discuss what the government was planning. This got everyone on a bit of an edge. I went down with Alex and we talked a bit about what possible outcomes there could be.

Mob gave the talk and told us the government had decided to create a new agency to start in 2017. My first thought was, well at least I'll have a job for another year. But what I really wanted to know was, would it simply be a name change, or would be actually have to apply for the new agency? And if so, would it be a mere facade or a proper recruitment process?

This job has been too good to me. Being paid six figures to do almost nothing at times. I knew it had to come to an end.

All good things must come to an end.

A little bit more with falafel girl...

Yesterday when I went down to the cafe for lunch, I spotted falafel girl standing at the counter, head turned around talking to someone she worked with. I pretended to go to the hot food bar first to check out what was there, but when I went back to the sandwich area she was gone. I think she walked into the kitchen.

Some other girl made my sandwich and I kept looking around for her.

Had she seen me and decided to avoid me?

That was my thought for the rest of the day.

I didn't realise how bad it had gotten into my head until this morning, when I remembered I had a dream last night that I was at the sandwich bar, and she was reaching out for some ingredients, then looked up at me, and looked away, as if to ignore me. It felt so real, I really had to wonder if it actually happened.

For today, I decided to try to play it a little smarter - I'd go early, and if she's there I'd buy lunch, and if she wasn't, I'd walk by and come back later. The gambling urge had gotten to me so I figured if she's not there I could go have a gamble and come back.

When I went downstairs, she was nowhere to be seen so I kept walking and went down the escalator and ended up going to the casino. I went to roulette and looked around for Julie but couldn't see her. All I could see were new dealers I didn't recognise.

I cashed in at one table and then realised it was a $25 table. Goddamnit, now they have two tables in the main roulette area that are $25. Are they that desperate, or are people winning too much from the $10 tables?

I cashed back out and then went to a $10 table. There was a guy there but he didn't end up playing so I was all alone. I knew this was dangerous. I lost a few spins before deciding to go at the 0-3 section since the dealer seemed to hit that fairly evenly.

Luckily it landed on 32 where I had a few splits, and I was now up close to $400. I played some outside bets and rounded it off to a $400 gain before cashing out. I walked over to baccarat and memories of Misha came flooding back. I looked around almost as if expecting to see her.

I saw Summer and thought I'd go speak to her but as I passed she was waving to another girl who worked there, so I kept on walking.

Funny thing is, I went in wanting to win $200, but now $400 seems like nothing. I guess this is just all part of the gambling cycle.

Anyway, after depositing my money I went back to the cafe. Falafel girl was there making some toasted sandwich on a plate, and as I stood there waiting to be served, she looked at me and we smiled at each other.

I was served by the chubby blonde girl and she made my sandwich. When falafel girl finished delivering the plate to the table she came back. She was watching the girl make my sandwich and said something about what was added/missing. I then said I'd add lettuce as I didn't ask for that initially. 

I said to her "you're very busy today", and she came back, almost shouting, almost seeming a bit too eager, "today not busy! I just went to serve table". Immediately I fell in love with her Korean accent. In that brief exchange, it felt like there was so much potential for chemistry, and it felt like she was just so happy that I had said something apart from the usual.

She took my money and gave me my change and then I left, feeling over the moon. Being ignored by Summer was merely now an after thought.

Did I ignore falafel girl?

So I had planned to go to the cafe in the morning today, maybe it would give me more of an opportunity to talk to falafel girl, and I would be busy at lunch anyway.

By the time I walked to my building at around 8am, I looked in and saw that there was like one or two people at the cafe, so I went in. I was wearing my basketball gear pretty much, and I could tell the Korean manager was looking at me, as I am usually seen in a suit here.

I went to the counter but it was the other Korean girl who was free. I asked her what was for breakfast as I knew nothing about the breakfast menu, and she pointed me to some meal deals stuck on a laminated piece of paper on the wall to my right.

I turned right to look and read it, whilst the Korean girl was saying something I couldn't understand. Then falafel girl came over and started saying something too but I was trying to make sense of the menu.

Falafel girl walked away and then I said I'd have the bacon and egg wrap. A lot of other people came and falafel girl was working on the side near the coffee machine. I walked off wondering if I had just ignored her. Or if she had even come over to say something. Was all this just my imagination?

Anyway, at lunch I met up with Adrian from facebook to get the Nike Air Zoom Flight 95 off him. They are such beautiful shoes! I can't believe I now hold a piece of the 90's! I saw these shoes in high school!!!

After work I went for a jog, trying to remember the track Roy and Ben took me on when I first joined the office. I managed to find it after a bit of getting lost in the beginning, and made it all the way to the Opera House without stopping. I then walked back to the office, then headed back to Circular Quay to take some photos of my shoes. I now call it "shoe-fie" :)

/Misha

I had planned to skip seeing Misha this week, mainly because of her response to me when I suggested marriage, but also to save some money and maybe create some feeling of missing me for her. I know she can be in different moods at different times, so who knows what her attitude would be like next time I saw her?

Anyway, on Friday I went to watch Spectre with Brain and Malay. We got seats in the front row but the reclining seats eased the pain of it somehow. Afterwards we went to Macca's and just talked. Ended up getting home around 2:30am.

On Saturday morning I went to bball, but it was odd because no one had created an event for it on meetup, and it was pretty cloudy. There were about eight people there and we just played four on four until it rained. I kinda liked it, as it brought back memories of high school days when we'd play in the rain.

Later on in the day I went to Chatty to check out the Footlocker there. I had pretty much decided on getting the CP3 IX for playing outdoor. I went in and managed to get the last pair in size 9.5. After that I did some light grocery shopping and then went home.

Today I went for a run and did a lap in the morning. It seemed a little harder, maybe because I had skipped a week. I then went home and played some video games, intending to do that until I had to leave for basketball. I decided to check the forum for shops, since I hadn't checked for a while, and found someone had posted saying something about Misha having returned to Korea because of the shop's change in management.

I was kinda shocked. It wasn't unusual for people to post fake information for whatever reason, but it did seem like a genuine post. They also stated that she was actually 43 years old.

I didn't know what to think, but when my parents came home, I managed to convince myself I could go buy some snacks for my cats and make it to the casino. So I went to the shopping centre near me and bought them some treats that were good for their teeth, then went out to the casino.

I told myself I didn't need to win much, maybe just $200, which would more than cover the cost of the shoes I got yesterday. Besides, I had won back around $2000 already.

I went to a table where there was a single Asian guy playing, and played cautiously with minimum bets. I didn't lose one spin and left with  a $220 gain. I walked over to baccarat where memories of Misha came over me. I watched some Chinese man play with $5000 chips for a little bit before cashing out and heading to basketball.

I texted the shop and indeed was told that Misha had gone back.

Part of me felt like crying. Part of me felt like Bond when he lost Vespa.

So this is how it feels to like someone and have them suddenly disappear.

Interestingly, I had more feelings towards Misha than Johanna.

I always thought that the last time I'd see her would be in the shop. I didn't think she'd come out for dinner, even though that was my hope. I pictured myself crying and hugging her in the shop as we saw each other for the last time. Not me saying we would play with the Doraemon 3D puzzle next time.

Whenever I make these "/" posts, there's always a bit to follow on, it's never really the end. I just hope that is the case here as well.

Falafel girl eating her hair

Having not seen her yesterday because I had lunch with Genie, I decided today would be a good day to see falafel girl. But first, I had to meet someone at Wynyard as I was selling two Pikachu oppa cards to them.

I did that fairly quickly, but then decided to go to an Asian grocery store near Town Hall to get some drinks. After that I headed back to my building and went to the cafeteria. I got there at the same time as some old lady and saw that falafel girl was free. She looked at the old lady, then at me. I wasn't sure if the old lady was going to order, but I looked at her and she just kept walking past, so I approached and said hello and asked her how she was and she said good.

I said I would have the "normal", being a smoked salmon sandwich on white bread. She started making it, and asked me "no more falafel wrap?" and I said "hmm...maybe next time". After putting on the tomato and beetroot, she sprinkled some salt on it before pausing, realising she hadn't asked me if I wanted it or not, and the other girl working with her laughed. She asked me if I wanted it and I said yes please, and she continued making her sandwich.

As she was finishing making it, I noticed her fringe was dropping down to near her mouth, and she said "maybe I am hungry, I am eating my hair", and I just laughed. She handed me my change and I said "have a nice day", and she said something that finished with "you", and at first I thought she was asking "how are you".

Anyway, as I walked off, I realised when she made the comment about eating her hair, I should've joked "me too" (given I am bald).

Argh, why am I always so slow!!!

How quickly your mood changes...

I was looking forward to seeing falafel girl yesterday. I would buy my lunch at a later time, about 2pm, so that there weren't many people around, and try to ask her how her weekend was.

I went to the gym during lunch to use that massage roll thing on my left leg, as playing basketball twice on Saturday, and then on Sunday night, had really tightened my calf muscles. I did that and it felt great afterwards, all loose and stuff.

I returned to the office to change, and then went downstairs. I saw her serving someone at the counter and stood behind some people. Pretty sure she saw me, but when she finished serving that person, she called "service" so that another Korean girl would serve me. She then attended to a toasting wrap and making some coffee and speaking to the manager/boss lady.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it felt like she didn't want to see me and deliberately had someone serve me.

Or she was just genuinely busy.

But the former thought dominated my mind and I sank into deep depression when I went back to the office.

I tried to think that maybe she was moody for whatever reason. I tried to tell myself that this one time shouldn't dominate all the other positive occasions. I tried to tell myself that logically, she had no reason to change her attitude towards me, and therefore she was probably just genuinely busy.

Later on in the day, I thought that maybe she was actually indeed helping me by asking someone to serve me, as she was busy and didn't want me waiting around. That reasoning made me feel a little bit better.

In other news, Johanna said she would be coming back to Australia on 18th of this month! WTF!!!

Misha racks up $35,000 in gambling debt

I didn't see Misha last week as she wasn't working, and immediately I had fears that she had taken a mini gambling tour again. Initially I had that severe feeling of disappointment where it was like the world was going to end, but I told myself I saved $350 and could just see her the week after.

In basketball, when it looked like everything with the team was going to end because of Mark's departure (and hence Jun's), I put my GM shoes on and managed to pull together a deal - to join with the team I had once created, Shoyo.

So on Thursday the new merged team debuted, and though I had some niggling concerns at first, we won our game convincingly against a decent team, almost doubling their score. It seemed like we immediately meshed, with the bigs doing their stuff, complemented almost perfectly by us guards. Given we are in the lowest division, I think it's a very good possibility that we end up winning it.

Johanna ended up contacting me a few days ago, maybe even a week ago. She said she missed me, and I played along. She revealed she was in HK, and had returned a long time ago. I felt kinda sad, as I had always assumed she could've found another boyfriend to live with.

Things were going ok in terms of conversation, but then on Friday, she changed completely, accusing me of calling her a prostitute (I had actually said I didn't treat her like a prostitute) and her saying she would get her revenge.

I had spent a day in the office reading a brief and was looking forward to going for a nice peaceful jog after work, but I had that weighing on my mind as I ran (by the way, falafel girl made my sandwich for lunch, and after telling her I wanted smoked salmon, she knew everything else to put on, and I said she had a good memory, and she said "of course").

Before I had learned of her messages, I had actually been thinking about her, and thought about going to Papparich myself to eat and take some photos to send to her. But even after those messages, I still had that plan, though I went to see Misha first.

I made a booking for 7:45pm, and when I went in, the friendly receptionist guy told me she'd be available at 8 so I was ok with that, and he had a long chat with me. He asked if I knew the shop had been closed for a few days and I said no and asked why, and he said he'd tell me next time. I did notice that there had been a lack of rosters posted on their wechat account and also their responses to my messages had been sporadic.

We talked about whether shops were good investments and he said this shop actually doesn't make a lot of money, and they had trouble getting new girls.

Anyway, his friend arrived or something and he closed the door and I could hear him speaking in Mandarin. I also heard a Korean guy talking to I think Misha, and it sounded like she was in the hallway and he was close to my door. It seemed like a purposeful conversation, like he was relaying a message or something.

After that she was ready to see me, and when she saw me she said long time no see. When we reached the room she asked me to never ask her to the casino again, and I was like, why would I since I had quit. She told me she went on Melbourne Cup day and lost $12,000. I said her total loss was now $32,000, and she corrected me and said $35,000 as she had lost a few thousand before that.

I told her I hadn't been since the last time I saw her, which was a lie since I had been three times (even during lunch on Melbourne Cup). I had played roulette and in total managed to win back about $1,200.

She said she felt sick about all the losses, and I pulled out the sweets I had brought in my bag, accidentally pulling out the Doraemon 3D puzzle I had brought to play with her. She liked the candy and I opened it to her and fed her the first stick. She asked if I wanted instant noodles and I said no, but she seemed to insist so I gave in and said yes and sat there waiting for her.

When she came back I noticed this time the side dish was like four big pieces of vegetable. I started eating it and she came back with a platform thing for me to use on top of the pillow. I told her that many years ago, after a really bad loss in roulette, I broke down on the bridge and cried as I called gambling helpline. She seemed amused and empathetic, and I just wanted to share with her my low point.

She mentioned her friend lost a few thousand more than her, and I assumed it was Angel.

She also said a regular customer of hers, who was 25, had won $50,000 on that same day. When I said he'd go back and lose it all, she seemed to chastise me for being negative, and said the guy wasn't a problem gambler like us.

I said she had promised me she wouldn't go, and she said "but you didn't see me", a reference to my line when I revealed I went after promising her to add 10% to my 'debt' if she saw me at the casino. I playfully tried to smother her face for being a smart alec.

She laid down on the bed eating the chocolate sticks, and at one point she showed me one and said it looked like my penis. I encouraged her to eat it and she resisted a bit before doing so.

I asked if she was going back to Korea and she said yes, so she could stay away from the casino. I asked her when and she said probably around early January. I half playfully asked about marriage, but she said I was her "baccarat friend", which was a bit disappointing, but I knew whatever my status was with her depended on her mood.

She told me if she had never gambled she could have bought a house in Korea by now, and I said I could've bought one here too. I said sometimes I really hate the person who took me to the casino the first time and she said sometimes she felt the same. She said it was better to lose the first time than to win, so it would've stopped her from playing. I agreed.

I said we should go for a big dinner before I go for my US trip as she wouldn't be here when I get back, and she repeated that she had to work like nine days in a week now to pay her debt back. I asked if she'd make that money back by January and she said probably not, but she'd tell the owner (who she borrowed money off) that she'd try her best and pay him back some when she returned to Korea.

After I finished eating the noodles she took the stuff back into the kitchen and then returned to the room. She had put her hand out, asking for something, and I pretended to be ignorant and said it was a nice hand and asked if she wanted to hold hands. Then I handed over $100 and she said there was $900 left.

We talked a bit more before she said time was up, and I left via the main street entrance. I went to Coles to get some stuff before going home. I was too full after the noodles to eat at Papparich.