Maybe the birthday thing won't go ahead?

I had such an off day today. Maybe it was because I stayed up past midnight last night playing video games.

Anyway, I woke up late, but luckily it was raining, which justified me catching a bus to work. When I got in, as I was turning the corner to my room, I heard Robert say "good morning". I had tried to sneak past, because I didn't want to say good morning to Nunjo, but I quickly said "good morning" and went into my room.

I made breakfast and ate it at my desk. As I started checking out my calendar, I realised...I HAVE COURT TODAY!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT HELL DAMN.

I quickly put my tie on, got a suitcase ready and left. Luckily the court was rather close. Luckily I had prepared the file a long time ago. Damn the past me, I love you.

As I caught a taxi to court, I kept thinking "how did I let this happen? How could I completely forget I had court? Was it the long weekend? Or had I been thinking about Erica too much?"

Anyway, everything turned out well. I bumped into Michael D at court and we had a chat. We both couldn't believe it had been three years since that trial.

My matter went smoothly and quickly, and I made my way back to the office. I had a rather busy day. I realised Robert wasn't in the office today at all. So what the fuck did I hear this morning?!?!

At 1pm I messaged Erica, saying I was now looking at my calendar and asked her what days she planned to take off in February.

She replied at 1:27pm. At first I thought she said she'd have to keep working to find out, but later realised she said she'd have to keep working throughout the month. I then asked if she could still take 11 February (her birthday) off. I knew I shouldn't have asked, because 1) I had this really bad feeling she'd say no, and 2) I had asked her before and gotten a yes so I should've left it at that.

She replied at 6:14pm saying she'd call me the day before.

What?

I was very disappointed with that answer. It was almost an inescapable conclusion that this was her way of saying no. Maybe she had other plans. Maybe she got an offer from a better guy. Maybe I'm her back up plan.

I felt down immediately. At times I felt like crying, but I kept on working. The urgency of my matter pushed me on. At close to 8pm I left and went to the gym. The thought of going to Naby's shop to work on a new girl was very tempting, and I told myself I could go after the gym, knowing pretty well I would be too tired to do so.

I also told myself I would feel better after the gym. I always feel better, even if it's only a little bit. And I did. It cleared my head a bit.

The only positive spin I could put on her message was maybe she didn't want to disappoint me like the beach day. Maybe she didn't want me to take a day off and have it turn out to be nothing again.

I still haven't responded to her message. She would know by now I've read it. I don't think I'll respond at all. I think I'll let her make the next move.