Insecurity ridden again...

Despite nothing explicitly going wrong with what happened yesterday, I found myself today feeling insecure again. I was expecting a message from her, the one about my body which she said she'd send, and nothing came.

But even apart from that, I was expecting some sort of game invite message. I told myself that on the last two occasions I'd seen her, she always messaged me immediately after I left. So has she now lost interest? Or her interest level is declining?

The sane side of me told me not to worry about it - it's ok to go a few days without a message. She didn't show any signs of disinterest. You might even be better off if you never see her again, as it'd save some money, and definitely save you having to buy her some expensive birthday present.

But the insecure side of me tries to over-analyse the events of yesterday, to nitpick to find some sign that she has lost interest.

Did she really want to kiss me, or was it just because I paid?

Why did she just lean in for a hug instead of a kiss?

Honestly mate, if she didn't like you she wouldn't have leaned in at all.

Was she just pretending to agree when I said I'd take her to the beach, the zoo, and ice skating?

Did she get turned off after seeing that picture of my bathroom with the tap having fallen off?

I told myself to focus on making money. Not only would that take my mind off things, but it'd also help me in trying to impress her. I always dream about having a nice car and house to show her, so why not actually try to achieve it?

Sometimes I feel all this insecurity will cripple me one day. I seem to keep seeking validation after validation that she's interested in me. Can it ever be satisfied?