"It's a dangerous love affair"

"I'm addicted to the thrill
It's a dangerous love affair"

-- Run This Town, Jay-Z feauring Rihanna. Kanye West

I woke up this morning and played that Korean game, had one go then turned it off. I knew I had to go train today, but my right knee just didn't feel like it. Maybe it was just a mental thing, but I kinda felt like it was beginning to rust, and the thought of jumping up and down on it doing jumpshots wasn't too appealing.

I seriously considered not going, but then decided to anyway. I went to the bathroom and played the Korean game again, but this time noticed Erica's photo had changed to one of a beach with sunrise, whereas previously it was one of the Harbour view she took with me that night.

Huh? That wasn't there before was it? Does this mean she went to the beach? Was she taken there by a guy? Well how else would she have known how to get there? Maybe it was her friends from the shop? And was it taken from today? The weather looks like it was today.

My mind went wild. I began thinking. Maybe I should call the shop today just to see if she's working (read: lying). Yes, that's what I'll do.

I then heard a voice inside me, like my coach, telling me to just go to the courts. I knew the coach's reasoning would be that it would clear my head, even though at the moment I felt like nothing could clear my head.

So off I went to the courts, and surprisingly my knee felt good. Nothing like the feeling I had today when I woke up. My mind was still on Erica, but I could see logic and rational thinking was seeping through.

I made myself do 50 jump shots. At first my form was way off, like I hadn't shot in years. But then I began getting the groove back.

As I shot around, I began exploring other possibilities.

Maybe it was a photo taken a while back? Nah, as of late she seems to have been putting up photos of her recent adventures, albeit with me.

Maybe instead of calling the shop, you should just message her and say you're coming to see her today. I mean, calling the shop automatically assumes she's lying - an assumption stemming from your insecurity and perhaps, your issues of abandonment. Messaging her would start from a point of trust.

If she says yes, then just go visit her. If she makes up some excuse as to why she's not working today, then she's probably taken the NYE day off to see another guy.

But I don't think she's seeing another guy/cheating on you. After all the things you have experienced (kisses on the forehead, constant contact from Korea, coming out to see you - even if it may have been just to get the ipad), would she find another guy just like that? Especially when she sent that Christmas video almost a week ago, and the game message yesterday?

I finished my 50 shots, and I reckon it took about 90 minutes, although right now my legs don't feel tired. As I walked back home, another line of reasoning entered my head.

Even if she's working today, how does that disprove that she's seeing another guy? Maybe you should just ask if she has a day off soon. That would be the cheaper, and more 'proper' alternative.

But now, as I've gotten home, another thing has entered my mind.

Maybe she put up a photo of a sunrise on the beach so you'd get the hint to take her to one?

God I don't know.

And now I gotta deal with Nick's message on facebook. I haven't really read it yet, but sounds like he might be having second thoughts about next season in Sunday's comp, which would provide a good reason for me to call it stumps.