Day of mixed emotions
I walked to work today listening to this, sent to me by a friend. Honestly, I almost cried when I heard it. It was just so touching, so inspirational...so something I needed all this time.
It really helped me put the whole Jenny thing into perspective - there were much bigger aims in life, much bigger things in life for me to do. Concerning myself over her just wasn't worth it.
I felt so good by the time I got to work, so motivated to work. My productivity was a bit better than usual today, got a lot of work done. However, later in the day, I could feel my mindset beginning to change.
I started getting angry at her. Like, really angry. I was angry at the fact that she kept using my phone. I was angry that she had lied to me. I was angry that she had misled me. I felt like shoulder charging something. I was losing it. I felt like shoulder charging...her.
I could almost feel the change in my mindset. It was as if sitting in this prison of an office was polluting my mind. It was unhealthy. I could go crazy sitting in here.
I went to the gym after work, only did bike and abs as I was still sore from the massive workout on Sunday.
I checked the phone account that she is using, and she is still using my phone. I wonder when she will stop? Will she really use it right up until the end? Is that how tight she is with money? Part of me thinks/hopes she will contact me when the next week is up, about the phone. Maybe that will be her way of re-initiating contact?
In my experience, when I drop off with a girl, she eventually gets back into contact with me - Jin, Lina to name a couple. The only exception was Victoria.
I also thought about her seeing me at the casino. I am definitely sure she saw me. Her job is to walk around. The way she was standing, near me, was just too out of the ordinary for her job. Only question is, what was she thinking? Surely she couldn't have been absolutely repulsed by me, otherwise she would've quietly snuck by with her colleague. So why hang around momentarily in my line of sight?
It really helped me put the whole Jenny thing into perspective - there were much bigger aims in life, much bigger things in life for me to do. Concerning myself over her just wasn't worth it.
I felt so good by the time I got to work, so motivated to work. My productivity was a bit better than usual today, got a lot of work done. However, later in the day, I could feel my mindset beginning to change.
I started getting angry at her. Like, really angry. I was angry at the fact that she kept using my phone. I was angry that she had lied to me. I was angry that she had misled me. I felt like shoulder charging something. I was losing it. I felt like shoulder charging...her.
I could almost feel the change in my mindset. It was as if sitting in this prison of an office was polluting my mind. It was unhealthy. I could go crazy sitting in here.
I went to the gym after work, only did bike and abs as I was still sore from the massive workout on Sunday.
I checked the phone account that she is using, and she is still using my phone. I wonder when she will stop? Will she really use it right up until the end? Is that how tight she is with money? Part of me thinks/hopes she will contact me when the next week is up, about the phone. Maybe that will be her way of re-initiating contact?
In my experience, when I drop off with a girl, she eventually gets back into contact with me - Jin, Lina to name a couple. The only exception was Victoria.
I also thought about her seeing me at the casino. I am definitely sure she saw me. Her job is to walk around. The way she was standing, near me, was just too out of the ordinary for her job. Only question is, what was she thinking? Surely she couldn't have been absolutely repulsed by me, otherwise she would've quietly snuck by with her colleague. So why hang around momentarily in my line of sight?
posted by toey | 21:40
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