Everyone at the casino!

On Wednesday, I had decided on a rough form of words I'd send to Jenny in order to end this thing formally. I was planning to do it at night time when I was in bed, but I couldn't resist.

The whole thing had made me so depressed I had taken the day off work. So I got to basketball early and after a bit of shooting around with Mark, I sat down and decided to send it to her.

I think you know how I feel about you.

But I think you don't feel the same way.

So I think it is better we stop going out

Then I got to playing basketball. We were playing the best team, HBK, and it was a close one for most of the game. We had like an eight point lead in the first half before they came storming back and led by one at halftime. I wasn't worried, but in the second half we were stagnant, and they soon took a lead. I subbed on and decided to take on their guard one on one. It worked - he only scored four points in the second half against the 21 he scored in the first.

But it wasn't enough. We missed big shots down the stretch that could've given us the lead, and so we lost.

I checked my phone and there was no reply. I went to eat with the guys, but as good as it was to hang out with them, I had to admit my mind was elsewhere.

On the way home, I sent her further messages.

My friend said the shoe store should call you sometime this week, so good luck with that.

Also, I would like my mobile number back, so please get a new number in two weeks. After that I will ask Optus to change it back for me. Sorry for the inconvenience.

She replied with a long ass message about 20 minutes later:

 Sure...i will get new number...and i also wana let u know how i feel towards the issue...u know..i appreciate for all the kindness from u to me during this period, i treasure alot of our friendship and i hv told u everything abt myself...i treat u as my real brother...and i always wana return all the kindness to u asap...and i thought u also treat me as a little sister...i feel im lucky to have a brother like u here which i can talk with u for everything...im actually surprise that u hv been thinking more then friendship...as i thought i hv already told everyone that i wont think abt it unless i got well settle down myself n if i m sure i will stay here for long...As i dont believe there will be any gd result if i cant stay here in stable condition...and i reli dont want to break any friendship that i treasure alot...it will be hurt by the time im leaving here...i wanna make things simple...but now i know wht u think n i am very sorry that i dont act wht u expect...im very sad at the same time that i hv to lose u...but i understand we hardly be gd friend anymore...no wor...I hope all fine for each of us...take gd care....

I knew I shouldn't have replied, but her reply actually pissed me off so I had to send one back:

I did think about your situation, and I know I can support you and provide stability, which would allow you to find more stable job if you wanted. But I am disappointed to hear that you didn't think I wanted more than friendship, especially after asking you out on Valentine's Day. Anyway, it doesn't matter now, but I wish you all the best.

 The next day at work, I was actually able to focus somewhat and get some work done, albeit slowly. After work I had to meet Solene, so I went home, changed and went back out to the city. I met her at Frankie's Pizza and she was there with a friend, called Gemma. We hugged as we greeted each other, and then spent the rest of the time eating a vegetarian pizza and drinking soft drinks and talking.

It was such a relief to pay for only my share. I think I was too used to going out to dinner with Jenny.

Gemma had to go to work (she is a nurse) so Solene and I went to check out a pub recommended by her friend, called Shady Pines. We walked there with Gemma then went into the pub ourselves. It actually was pretty cool. This must be the first pub I've ever liked. It had dead animal heads stuck on all the walls, which gave it a very American feel.

We had a drink and sat and talked about stuff. At moments I'd go silent and she'd pick up the slack. After an hour or so we decided to leave, and I walked her back home, which was a lot further than I expected. We ended up in a place called the Australian Technology Park, which I had never even heard of before, but it looked like an amazing and live-able place.

I caught a taxi home because I couldn't be fucked finding a train station or bus stop.

On Friday after work I went home, then drove out to meet Bush and Kylie for dinner out in Parramatta, and Liz was there too.

I gave them some lucky cats I got from HK, as well as a "Number 1 Solicitor" magnent for Bush lol. We had a big dish of pasta each which no one could finish except me, though I had missed out on entree. It was a good catch up, I noticed Kylie had put on a LOT of weight. Goddamn.

We had a long discussion about 'that' blue and black or gold and white dress, which was funny because we got the waitress involved.

After dinner we went to get Messina and then sat near the fountains to talk. That was Kylie's idea as she said it'd be romantic. But it ended up being a conversation between Bush and I, and Kylie just talked with Liz.

When we finished, I drove Bush home, and this is when I told her about Jenny. She agreed with me that Jenny should've known we were more than just friends. We talked about other dating scenarios for me but I kinda just wanted to focus on this whole Jenny thing.

When we got to her house, we sat in my car for like half an hour talking about what we'd do if we changed careers. Apparently she had looked into studying medicine. Hmmm.

After she left I felt like going for a punt, but didn't. I messaged Coco to see if she'd come out, but she was with Jay. So I went home and saw my dad at the bus stop. I had driven past him, but did a mad rush around the block and managed to pick him up just before the bus did lol.

Yesterday I didn't do much, rested in the morning and then went to basketball training in the afternoon but didn't play as I wanted to rest my left achilles. I picked up Daniel and he was out of action too after dislocating his elbow. So we both just did duty and had a mad conversation about girls and basketball lol.

Afterwards we went to Pine Inn to eat, which we hadn't had for a long time.

Today, I went into work and got a bit of work done. I then went to the gym and had a massive session, then went to do some grocery shopping. I went home, and was home alone, so the gambling bug got to me. I checked the schedule Jenny had sent me previously of her working roster, and she wasn't rostered on to work tonight, so I thought, good.

I went into the casino with $1000 and decided to play colour/columns and try to win $100 and leave. I saw Julie working on the computer roulette thing. On my very first spin, I won $300. Yes, time to leave eh? But then I saw Summer had just started a shift on a table, so I eventually waddled over to her.

I greeted her with "long time no see" and she seemed a bit surprised to see me. We talked as she spun and as I played. I don't know what it is about her, but she always makes me lose. Two times she hit 16 when I had bet black/third column, and we all know 16 is inbetween 24 and 33. During the conversation, I think I made a couple of lies. First was that I said the longest I had ever been there was two hours, and second was that I hadn't been to the casino for a few months.

At one stage I looked at Julie, and I wasn't sure if she was looking at me or just in my direction. The distance between us was too great.

I went from $1300 to $500 with her. I was going to call it quits and go for a punt if I lost another spin, but then my luck started to change. I somehow managed to crawl my way back up to a $1200 balance. Shortly after that, I kinda felt like someone was looking at me. So I turned to my left slightly and saw Jenny there working with another girl. She wasn't looking at me, but they both were just standing there looking like they didn't know where to go. Judging from the circumstances, I would say Jenny had seen me.

I had $1200 in hundred dollar chips in front of me. Great. Now the cat is out of the bag. I looked over at the tables far away, and it looked like they were just opening them up. I then saw Julie go to the supervisor there. She had her trademark smile which I am still totally in love with. I noticed she had put on a bit of weight, but with her face and personality, I really wouldn't mind if she was overweight.

I waited for them to walk past, and took a look at Jenny. Her head looked really big. Like I know she has a bit of a big forehead, but maybe it was the dress, it made her whole head look disproportionately bigger than usual. And I no longer found her attractive.

I then said to Summer that I had to go and I'd see her next time. I went to cash out and then was walking towards the main entrance/exit when I saw Julie walking across towards me. We made eye contact, and I decided it was too late to ignore her. So I smiled and she smiled back, adding a low wave with her hand as well, almost like what I do when I want to make sure they have seen my greeting.

So there you go. All the girls I have ever found attractive in recent times, all in one place, all seen by me and seen me, tonight at the casino. Sometimes I think maybe my fate is intertwined with the casino.