Temporary illusionary happiness
Somewhere between last night and this morning, I got the (scumbag?) idea in my head that I should go see Julie today, and do what I didn't, but should have done, last night - tell her that I could help her change jobs, and to initiate contact outside the casino that way.
As I worked throughout the morning, the idea grew more and more. I even transferred $500 from my savings account to my bank account to 'play with' while talking to her (I have realised it is too awkward and obvious to her supervisors if I talk without playing). However, part of me was worried that whatever was growing this idea was from a bad part of me...that maybe I was just fantasising, and that in reality it would actually be a bad idea? Would it even be harassment if I went there the next day to see her? What if my attention was unwanted? How would I know? I mean, she's pretty much stuck there at the table, not like she could walk away.
Maybe my scumbag was further in action when it decided that after work wouldn't be good enough as there'd be too many people and G might be there for the Halloween party. So lunch time it was. Despite the fact that I had planned to check out the Downies sale.
However, the money hadn't arrived by noon. Instead, I withdrew the $100 I had in there and went for it.
I walked in and didn't see her at first, before spotting her at one of the far away tables where two ladies were playing. I pretended to walk around a bit first, then walked past her table. We made eye contact. I made a "shocked" gesture, pretending to be surprised to see her, while she gave me an eyebrow raise to acknowledge me as she was about to call no more bets on her spin.
I walked off, feeling like she was treating me like an insider. You know, like we knew each other enough to do the eyebrow raise, instead of the "let's be polite" smile. Maybe it was even an "hey I'm busy right now, but come back when I'm not" type of eyebrow raise. But why wasn't she surprised to see me there at lunch time?
I walked to the table closest to the entrance and pretended to be preoccupied there, only to realise I was still in her clear line of sight. I nudged slightly to the left so that I wasn't. I bought $10 chips and played black/third column and won $20. There was a NZ guy eagerly and happily playing there and lost.
I looked over at her table again, and there was now only one lady left. I walked over and approached. She gave a friendly smile but I pretended to be formal, slipping the $10 chips onto the table and saying "fives please". In addition to her supervisor, there was also the floor supervisor standing around at the computer, so I had to be careful.
She asked me how I was and I said "long time no see". I was explaining to her that I had a team lunch across the road at 2pm and so had some time to kill (lie). She looked at me as if to expect some sort of friendliness but I stared ahead at the numbers on display, pretending to focus. I was standing at the end of the table, and the old lady sitting in the middle was kinda talkative.
I placed one chip on a six line, and I won when it landed on 27. She looked at me for a reaction, because the odds were against me on that one, but I ignored it and pretended it wasn't a big deal.
I waited until the old hag lost all her money. She was deciding whether to move onto another table, saying she had promised some other dealer to play at his table.
Go...go!
Finally she decided to move on.
Yes!!!
Now I was all alone with Julie. I stayed at the end of the table betting black/third column. I was there because it seemed like the furthest point away from her supervisor, and the floor supervisor had now left the area. But the supervisor was still within an earshot of us talking.
I asked if she looked up Between Two Ferns, expecting a no, and she said she was too tired after she finished work last night. I shook my head and called her lazy.
I said something about it being hot outside and she said she'd be at the beach if she wasn't working. I acted surprised and she said she wouldn't stay home during the day. We talked about holidays, and I said how I go in December but it sucks because I don't like the cold, and it's cold everywhere else in the world in December except Australia.
She asked if I could only take leave in December and I said that was most beneficial for me. She said she couldn't take leave in December as the casino required everyone to be there because it was the busiest time.
I asked if she had been to Vanuatu and she said no. I told her I had been and she asked if I went to the beaches there. I said I didn't think so, and she was like how can you not. I said I went with a colleague and we had a fight after a few days so that was why. She said that's why she likes going on holidays with friends, because it either breaks them or makes them stronger. I agree. She asked why she went with me and if it was because she was into me.
I ended up telling her a bit about Nunjo. She didn't seem to think it was much of a problem that she swore at me for no reason, saying being drunk was justifiable. She asked if I was sensitive and I said no, that I just didn't expect to be sworn at. I told her Nunjo was seven years older than me but at the time I thought she was only three years older.
Eventually I moved to the middle of the table as it just felt a bit odd. I was winning almost every bet by now and she noticed, saying something. I said she was my lucky dealer.
We talked about her supervisors, and I mentioned how Cassie seemed nice. She said it must be an Aussie thing, and I said that fat supervisor didn't seem very nice when she made a mistake the other day. She asked me what mistake and I strained to recall it. She remembered the occasion I was talking about and asked "the time when I did so many no spins?" but then I remembered, and said it was when she placed a chip on the winning row and the fat supervisor told her off. She said she is normally nice but sometimes a bit grumpy. She said they were generally "seebs".
She had mentioned this term moments before, and so finally I asked "what is seebs?" She said it was "CBS" short for "can't be stuffed". She teased that I was obviously too old for it, and I was like "hey". Just as she said this, it landed on 00 and I lost that bet. I was like "oh great, you insult me and take all my money". As she swept my chips away, she said something about last night how she paid the guy out on the third column when it landed on 00.
One of the drinks girls walked past and she asked if I saw her. I said I don't really look at them, and she said the girl had some sort of face painting for halloween.
I watched as her supervisor went down to the other end of the pit.
YES!!!
I quickly looked around me to make sure no one was around before I told her that I could help her find a job if she really wanted to change. I wasn't sure what reaction I'd get, but she had a bit of a smile on her face and in her eyes as she listened. She didn't say anything, but it looked like an appreciation smile, a grateful smile, maybe even a smile that indicated she felt like I was expressing interest in her.
Maybe she thinks you're finally making a move! Maybe I made it just in time! God bless!
I continued, saying I had friends from time to time who would ask me if I knew anyone for jobs. She asked me what type of jobs, and I said one friend was looking for a barista, one was looking for a driver to drive around hooking up social security people with employers. She said she didn't drive and I made an exasperated gesture. I also added that someone from Red Bull had been looking for someone. She said "my dream is to be a bartender, oh I told you that didn't I?" and I said yes.
I told her to add me on facebook and told her my name on it, adding that it was a fake name for obvious reasons. I emphasised how to spell it twice, in a rather hurried tone, fearful that someone may over hear soon. She leaned in as if to hear me clearly and asked if it was my Chinese name and I said it was short for it.
Then, an old man came to the table and she greeted him by his name. I added one last time casually, "yeah so add me". She didn't say anything, but I didn't detect any negative response from her. In fact, I was quite pleased with her response. She did seem interested in the idea of me helping her.
Later on there was a dealer change to a fat bald guy. He told Julie to take 20 minutes (instead of the usual 15). Didn't get any acknowledgement from Julie as she left, but maybe it was because the fat bald guy was in the way.
I continued playing so that it wasn't obvious I was only there for Julie. I kept playing black/third column but on less occasions now. I later realised that the dealer was hitting a lot of 1-2 sections, and it had just landed on 34 - my profitable area.
So I bet on my normal 1-2 section, taking a risk by not covering 00. It landed on 25, one of my profitable numbers. I ended up leaving with a $150 gain. Completely unexpected as I was prepared to lose $100 to talk to Julie.
By now Julie should've been back from her break, but I looked around and didn't see her. I did hear her supervisor say "oh Julie why didn't you take your 20 minutes?" but I never saw her. It was only when I walked away that I saw she was at the table next to the one I was at. But it was too late to go back so I just kept walking.
I went back to my office feeling pretty happy about what had happened. I just felt like I had left things better than they had been left yesterday. It felt...unfinished yesterday, whereas now I had done what I had set out to do.
I kept a smile on my face for the rest of the day, but I knew it was a temporary illusion only. I was sure I wouldn't get a friend request from her, either because she didn't want to, or because she couldn't find me (for some reason people cannot search for me on facebook). But the latter reason was good enough. I had made my desire for contact outside the casino known, and she seemed receptive to it. That was all I needed.
As I worked throughout the morning, the idea grew more and more. I even transferred $500 from my savings account to my bank account to 'play with' while talking to her (I have realised it is too awkward and obvious to her supervisors if I talk without playing). However, part of me was worried that whatever was growing this idea was from a bad part of me...that maybe I was just fantasising, and that in reality it would actually be a bad idea? Would it even be harassment if I went there the next day to see her? What if my attention was unwanted? How would I know? I mean, she's pretty much stuck there at the table, not like she could walk away.
Maybe my scumbag was further in action when it decided that after work wouldn't be good enough as there'd be too many people and G might be there for the Halloween party. So lunch time it was. Despite the fact that I had planned to check out the Downies sale.
However, the money hadn't arrived by noon. Instead, I withdrew the $100 I had in there and went for it.
I walked in and didn't see her at first, before spotting her at one of the far away tables where two ladies were playing. I pretended to walk around a bit first, then walked past her table. We made eye contact. I made a "shocked" gesture, pretending to be surprised to see her, while she gave me an eyebrow raise to acknowledge me as she was about to call no more bets on her spin.
I walked off, feeling like she was treating me like an insider. You know, like we knew each other enough to do the eyebrow raise, instead of the "let's be polite" smile. Maybe it was even an "hey I'm busy right now, but come back when I'm not" type of eyebrow raise. But why wasn't she surprised to see me there at lunch time?
I walked to the table closest to the entrance and pretended to be preoccupied there, only to realise I was still in her clear line of sight. I nudged slightly to the left so that I wasn't. I bought $10 chips and played black/third column and won $20. There was a NZ guy eagerly and happily playing there and lost.
I looked over at her table again, and there was now only one lady left. I walked over and approached. She gave a friendly smile but I pretended to be formal, slipping the $10 chips onto the table and saying "fives please". In addition to her supervisor, there was also the floor supervisor standing around at the computer, so I had to be careful.
She asked me how I was and I said "long time no see". I was explaining to her that I had a team lunch across the road at 2pm and so had some time to kill (lie). She looked at me as if to expect some sort of friendliness but I stared ahead at the numbers on display, pretending to focus. I was standing at the end of the table, and the old lady sitting in the middle was kinda talkative.
I placed one chip on a six line, and I won when it landed on 27. She looked at me for a reaction, because the odds were against me on that one, but I ignored it and pretended it wasn't a big deal.
I waited until the old hag lost all her money. She was deciding whether to move onto another table, saying she had promised some other dealer to play at his table.
Go...go!
Finally she decided to move on.
Yes!!!
Now I was all alone with Julie. I stayed at the end of the table betting black/third column. I was there because it seemed like the furthest point away from her supervisor, and the floor supervisor had now left the area. But the supervisor was still within an earshot of us talking.
I asked if she looked up Between Two Ferns, expecting a no, and she said she was too tired after she finished work last night. I shook my head and called her lazy.
I said something about it being hot outside and she said she'd be at the beach if she wasn't working. I acted surprised and she said she wouldn't stay home during the day. We talked about holidays, and I said how I go in December but it sucks because I don't like the cold, and it's cold everywhere else in the world in December except Australia.
She asked if I could only take leave in December and I said that was most beneficial for me. She said she couldn't take leave in December as the casino required everyone to be there because it was the busiest time.
I asked if she had been to Vanuatu and she said no. I told her I had been and she asked if I went to the beaches there. I said I didn't think so, and she was like how can you not. I said I went with a colleague and we had a fight after a few days so that was why. She said that's why she likes going on holidays with friends, because it either breaks them or makes them stronger. I agree. She asked why she went with me and if it was because she was into me.
I ended up telling her a bit about Nunjo. She didn't seem to think it was much of a problem that she swore at me for no reason, saying being drunk was justifiable. She asked if I was sensitive and I said no, that I just didn't expect to be sworn at. I told her Nunjo was seven years older than me but at the time I thought she was only three years older.
Eventually I moved to the middle of the table as it just felt a bit odd. I was winning almost every bet by now and she noticed, saying something. I said she was my lucky dealer.
We talked about her supervisors, and I mentioned how Cassie seemed nice. She said it must be an Aussie thing, and I said that fat supervisor didn't seem very nice when she made a mistake the other day. She asked me what mistake and I strained to recall it. She remembered the occasion I was talking about and asked "the time when I did so many no spins?" but then I remembered, and said it was when she placed a chip on the winning row and the fat supervisor told her off. She said she is normally nice but sometimes a bit grumpy. She said they were generally "seebs".
She had mentioned this term moments before, and so finally I asked "what is seebs?" She said it was "CBS" short for "can't be stuffed". She teased that I was obviously too old for it, and I was like "hey". Just as she said this, it landed on 00 and I lost that bet. I was like "oh great, you insult me and take all my money". As she swept my chips away, she said something about last night how she paid the guy out on the third column when it landed on 00.
One of the drinks girls walked past and she asked if I saw her. I said I don't really look at them, and she said the girl had some sort of face painting for halloween.
I watched as her supervisor went down to the other end of the pit.
YES!!!
I quickly looked around me to make sure no one was around before I told her that I could help her find a job if she really wanted to change. I wasn't sure what reaction I'd get, but she had a bit of a smile on her face and in her eyes as she listened. She didn't say anything, but it looked like an appreciation smile, a grateful smile, maybe even a smile that indicated she felt like I was expressing interest in her.
Maybe she thinks you're finally making a move! Maybe I made it just in time! God bless!
I continued, saying I had friends from time to time who would ask me if I knew anyone for jobs. She asked me what type of jobs, and I said one friend was looking for a barista, one was looking for a driver to drive around hooking up social security people with employers. She said she didn't drive and I made an exasperated gesture. I also added that someone from Red Bull had been looking for someone. She said "my dream is to be a bartender, oh I told you that didn't I?" and I said yes.
I told her to add me on facebook and told her my name on it, adding that it was a fake name for obvious reasons. I emphasised how to spell it twice, in a rather hurried tone, fearful that someone may over hear soon. She leaned in as if to hear me clearly and asked if it was my Chinese name and I said it was short for it.
Then, an old man came to the table and she greeted him by his name. I added one last time casually, "yeah so add me". She didn't say anything, but I didn't detect any negative response from her. In fact, I was quite pleased with her response. She did seem interested in the idea of me helping her.
Later on there was a dealer change to a fat bald guy. He told Julie to take 20 minutes (instead of the usual 15). Didn't get any acknowledgement from Julie as she left, but maybe it was because the fat bald guy was in the way.
I continued playing so that it wasn't obvious I was only there for Julie. I kept playing black/third column but on less occasions now. I later realised that the dealer was hitting a lot of 1-2 sections, and it had just landed on 34 - my profitable area.
So I bet on my normal 1-2 section, taking a risk by not covering 00. It landed on 25, one of my profitable numbers. I ended up leaving with a $150 gain. Completely unexpected as I was prepared to lose $100 to talk to Julie.
By now Julie should've been back from her break, but I looked around and didn't see her. I did hear her supervisor say "oh Julie why didn't you take your 20 minutes?" but I never saw her. It was only when I walked away that I saw she was at the table next to the one I was at. But it was too late to go back so I just kept walking.
I went back to my office feeling pretty happy about what had happened. I just felt like I had left things better than they had been left yesterday. It felt...unfinished yesterday, whereas now I had done what I had set out to do.
I kept a smile on my face for the rest of the day, but I knew it was a temporary illusion only. I was sure I wouldn't get a friend request from her, either because she didn't want to, or because she couldn't find me (for some reason people cannot search for me on facebook). But the latter reason was good enough. I had made my desire for contact outside the casino known, and she seemed receptive to it. That was all I needed.
posted by toey | 00:11
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home