Did Rich Dad Poor Dad ruin me?
She replied, saying something like "are you crazy? don't message me". Although at first blush this would actually mean "don't contact me", I think I know her well enough to know that this is just her "front". If she really thought I was crazy she would've blocked me on Kakaotalk after receiving my letter, and most probably wouldn't have two photos of our time together as her profile pictures.
I messaged back saying I was sorry for everything and asked "start again?"
Last time I checked, she had read those messages but hadn't responded. The phone's back in my garage now and I don't really feel like checking it. Why did I do that? I don't know. Maybe boredom? Insecurity?
Anyway, I was meant to study today but totally blew it off. Instead, I bummed around all day playing Last of Us. I woke up with a really bad sore throat, and later on developed a headache. So that was my excuse.
I probably should've blogged about this sooner, but for a long time now I feel like I've lost my motivation to work. Remember those days in uni when I'd study in the library everyday? Remember the days of working from 8:30-8:00 at Nom's place? What ever happened to that? What ever happened to you?
To be honest, I think there are a few reasons, and I can't pin point any one of them.
Firstly, I may be burnt out. This is my eighth year in the profession, I worked really hard early on, and maybe I'm just running out of energy. Look at it this way, in all those years, I haven't really truly had a holiday where I could relax. In 2007 I went to Hong Kong/China where I had to play the role of best man for my cousin's wedding. The next holiday then was in 2012 when I went to Vanuatu and the whole Nunjo thing happened. Then last year in December I was fearing for my life that Korean gangsters would burst into my hotel room.
Some holidays, huh?
Second, maybe it has something to do with all that whoring and gambling? Maybe it has had too much of an effect on my brain, and I can't get back on the straight and narrow? It's kinda like asking someone who's been on cocaine for six or so years to just stop cold turkey. Maybe all those activities have re-wired my brain and it's permanently changed now.
Third, maybe it has to do with reading the book Rich Dad Poor Dad? I remember reading or hearing somewhere that when the book first came out, as popular as it was, it gave false confidence to a lot of people who ended up losing a lot of money, due to them opening their own business or investing with false confidence.
I always thought it didn't affect me, but I think it has. It gave me financial literacy. Or in other words, it gave me the capability to recognise that I was a financial mess. It taught me the value of earning passive income, and that basically you're a failure if you don't. So maybe since I've read the book, I've become so focused on money, instead of my career? I've become so focused on trying to make a passive income, that I've forgotten that my main weapon is my career?
To know that every day I am paying 15.9% interest on that loan hurts me. That saying of "using money to make money" killed me when I went to the casino. To know that I'm not making a passive income makes me feel like a failure.
The book really opened my eyes, and it makes me think that I could be earning so much more out there in the world, that my current stable salary of $120,000 is nothing. I mean, are you serious? Yes, that's how the book makes me feel!
Every day I wake up wanting to put forth 110% in my job, but it seems that once I get there, all motivation dies down. I get distracted by my phone and the freedom of their internet (we can access pretty much everything except streaming video sites and social media).
Which leads me to my fourth point - addiction to smart phones. This has been in and out of the news a few times, about how people can't seem to put their phone down. Previously I was pretty bad, always wanting to update my facebook status on the run. Now I don't have facebook installed on my phone anymore, but I find myself constantly checking my phone for new messages, and checking my shares during the day. It's like I'm addicted to the constant stream of information and can't focus on one thing. I surprised myself by sitting through a three exam for the bar.
I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Am I in a slump, or am I on the path of self destruction?
I messaged back saying I was sorry for everything and asked "start again?"
Last time I checked, she had read those messages but hadn't responded. The phone's back in my garage now and I don't really feel like checking it. Why did I do that? I don't know. Maybe boredom? Insecurity?
Anyway, I was meant to study today but totally blew it off. Instead, I bummed around all day playing Last of Us. I woke up with a really bad sore throat, and later on developed a headache. So that was my excuse.
I probably should've blogged about this sooner, but for a long time now I feel like I've lost my motivation to work. Remember those days in uni when I'd study in the library everyday? Remember the days of working from 8:30-8:00 at Nom's place? What ever happened to that? What ever happened to you?
To be honest, I think there are a few reasons, and I can't pin point any one of them.
Firstly, I may be burnt out. This is my eighth year in the profession, I worked really hard early on, and maybe I'm just running out of energy. Look at it this way, in all those years, I haven't really truly had a holiday where I could relax. In 2007 I went to Hong Kong/China where I had to play the role of best man for my cousin's wedding. The next holiday then was in 2012 when I went to Vanuatu and the whole Nunjo thing happened. Then last year in December I was fearing for my life that Korean gangsters would burst into my hotel room.
Some holidays, huh?
Second, maybe it has something to do with all that whoring and gambling? Maybe it has had too much of an effect on my brain, and I can't get back on the straight and narrow? It's kinda like asking someone who's been on cocaine for six or so years to just stop cold turkey. Maybe all those activities have re-wired my brain and it's permanently changed now.
Third, maybe it has to do with reading the book Rich Dad Poor Dad? I remember reading or hearing somewhere that when the book first came out, as popular as it was, it gave false confidence to a lot of people who ended up losing a lot of money, due to them opening their own business or investing with false confidence.
I always thought it didn't affect me, but I think it has. It gave me financial literacy. Or in other words, it gave me the capability to recognise that I was a financial mess. It taught me the value of earning passive income, and that basically you're a failure if you don't. So maybe since I've read the book, I've become so focused on money, instead of my career? I've become so focused on trying to make a passive income, that I've forgotten that my main weapon is my career?
To know that every day I am paying 15.9% interest on that loan hurts me. That saying of "using money to make money" killed me when I went to the casino. To know that I'm not making a passive income makes me feel like a failure.
The book really opened my eyes, and it makes me think that I could be earning so much more out there in the world, that my current stable salary of $120,000 is nothing. I mean, are you serious? Yes, that's how the book makes me feel!
Every day I wake up wanting to put forth 110% in my job, but it seems that once I get there, all motivation dies down. I get distracted by my phone and the freedom of their internet (we can access pretty much everything except streaming video sites and social media).
Which leads me to my fourth point - addiction to smart phones. This has been in and out of the news a few times, about how people can't seem to put their phone down. Previously I was pretty bad, always wanting to update my facebook status on the run. Now I don't have facebook installed on my phone anymore, but I find myself constantly checking my phone for new messages, and checking my shares during the day. It's like I'm addicted to the constant stream of information and can't focus on one thing. I surprised myself by sitting through a three exam for the bar.
I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Am I in a slump, or am I on the path of self destruction?
posted by toey | 19:23
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