Reason Ele asked for 56 Up
I met up with Ele on Thursday for lunch. The reason was she had asked earlier in the week for my copy of 56 Up. She told me she had read something about the character Neil in the Chinese newspapers.
I met with her at the QVB statue and then we went to the TGV food court. Soon into the meal I found out the real reason she had asked me to come to lunch. She told me about a fight she had with her husband. Apparently a few years ago, there was an opening for a junior position at her bank which she encouraged her husband to go for, but her husband refused, saying he was over-qualified and only wanted a finance job.
Fast forward to now, there was a recent opening for a finance job at her bank, and she met the person who landed the job. This person turned out to be the successful candidate for the junior position a few years ago, who had worked his way up - something her husband refused to do.
I kept in mind that when girls have problems they probably don't want you to solve it, but most probably just want to let off some steam and want an ear. So I tried to keep my advice to a minimum, but did say maybe he lacked long term planning, and that she shouldn't have directly brought it up with him as money/career was a sensitive issue for men. I suggested she watch a movie with him which might inspire him, and not say anything about it as he would get the message. She said that was the reason she wanted 56 Up, to watch it with him.
I also told her not to start fights like that as she shouldn't be looking at what they don't have, as she should look at what they have and feel lucky that things aren't worse. I told her he could be worse; he could be an alcoholic, a gambler, or a cheater. She smiled and quietly acknowledged my point.
After that, I showed her the messages that Victoria and I exchanged and she agreed that it was a good sign, although she didn't agree with me that Victoria seemed to know I was angry. She also said to me in her soft, but urgent voice, "why are you so aggressive" which made me chuckle.
I also had her sign Shuing's card, and I get a feeling he'll get grumpy when he reads the comment.
I walked her back to work as Mob had a day off, so I had a bit more time to spare. We started talking about improving our social connections at work and agreed to improve ourselves.
She seemed to like our talk so much, that she sent me an email later thanking me, then posted a message on Wechat about our talk. Not sure how much her husband would like that.
I met with her at the QVB statue and then we went to the TGV food court. Soon into the meal I found out the real reason she had asked me to come to lunch. She told me about a fight she had with her husband. Apparently a few years ago, there was an opening for a junior position at her bank which she encouraged her husband to go for, but her husband refused, saying he was over-qualified and only wanted a finance job.
Fast forward to now, there was a recent opening for a finance job at her bank, and she met the person who landed the job. This person turned out to be the successful candidate for the junior position a few years ago, who had worked his way up - something her husband refused to do.
I kept in mind that when girls have problems they probably don't want you to solve it, but most probably just want to let off some steam and want an ear. So I tried to keep my advice to a minimum, but did say maybe he lacked long term planning, and that she shouldn't have directly brought it up with him as money/career was a sensitive issue for men. I suggested she watch a movie with him which might inspire him, and not say anything about it as he would get the message. She said that was the reason she wanted 56 Up, to watch it with him.
I also told her not to start fights like that as she shouldn't be looking at what they don't have, as she should look at what they have and feel lucky that things aren't worse. I told her he could be worse; he could be an alcoholic, a gambler, or a cheater. She smiled and quietly acknowledged my point.
After that, I showed her the messages that Victoria and I exchanged and she agreed that it was a good sign, although she didn't agree with me that Victoria seemed to know I was angry. She also said to me in her soft, but urgent voice, "why are you so aggressive" which made me chuckle.
I also had her sign Shuing's card, and I get a feeling he'll get grumpy when he reads the comment.
I walked her back to work as Mob had a day off, so I had a bit more time to spare. We started talking about improving our social connections at work and agreed to improve ourselves.
She seemed to like our talk so much, that she sent me an email later thanking me, then posted a message on Wechat about our talk. Not sure how much her husband would like that.
posted by toey | 11:56
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