Victoria - it's over

We didn't end up meeting up on Tuesday. In the morning I found out I had a meeting at lunch, so I sent her a message:

Me @ 9:33 - Hey I've just been told I have a meeting at 1. If you still get a half day, could we make it 130ish if possible?

I thought to myself, she should reply when she finds out whether she gets a half day or not, but if she sends me a message saying she will let me know when she finds out, then that's definitely a good sign!

Her @ 10:41 - Hi [insert name here], it's hard to say whether I will be having a half day or not at this stage. I'll message you again soon.

YES!!!

Me @ 10:44 - We can always grab a bite after work if you have a full day =)

But then...

Her @ 12:01 - [insert name here] I would have to catch you next time. Today is a bit hectic. I will tell you all about it next time.

Her @ 12:02 - Btw I tried to put some musics in your portable hard drive but it wouldn't let me add anything. Am I doing something wrong?

Me @ 12:06 - Ok no worries :) You should be able to add things to the HD...what does it say when you try?

Then no reply. Ok I thought, I was pretty calm. I decided to wait until Sunday to see if she'd initiate something about studying. I decided not to text again, since I was the last one to text and she didn't reply. But then, last night I couldn't help it.

Me @ 19:47 - Donkey Kong tomorrow?

Of course, she might not 'get' this, but it's a reference to someone asking someone out and the other person saying "it's on like Donkey Kong". I thought I'd explain it to her if she asked. In hindsight, I probably should've texted her in Korean.

Immediately after the text, I got a sick feeling in my stomach, like I was dying slowly. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was playing Last of Us but just wanted to go to sleep quickly so I didn't have to consciously wait for it. I knew if I went to sleep, I'd get a message when I woke up, and the wait wouldn't be as excruciating.

Despite that, I woke up a few times checking my phone. Nothing.

Then this morning, after I had woken up and was lying awake in bed, she sent a message:

Her @ 8:28 - Hi [insert name here], I joined a study group for Evidence and we will be going through past paper on Sundays from now on.

My heart dropped. I was angry, and saddened. I was angry because she had decided to tell me this on the morning, as if I had no other plans. I was saddened because it was all over. I had already deleted her number last night, but after receiving this message, I 'left' our Kakaotalk conversation, which she should be able to notice if she checks.

This is how I feel right now:

In other news, I found out today that Jin is still in Australia.