Three weeks gamble free

On Wednesday I went to see Margy, my counsellor, for my third session.

I started off the session being rather talkative, asking her if she'd seen the news about clubs now being allowed to have more casino-like games. She said no and we talked about that briefly, saying it was all about revenue.

I gave her a print out of my last entry. I said I had to fake to myself that I was going to gamble to get into the mood, but she said not to do that, and only to do it if the thoughts occurred. The thing is, now that I don't have my credit card, it's hard, because even in the back of my mind I know I can't possibly gamble.

So she went through that and talked about some points in it. She was looking for my thoughts, my cravings. As she read it, she always mumbled "good" which made me feel like a student handing in homework to my teacher.

We talked about odds and probability again, and as I was explaining it, everything suddenly clicked for me. I realised why my method wasn't working. All this time I have been betting on the basis that it'd be extremely difficult for the ball not to land in my sector eight times in a row, you know, with the whole 0.5 x 0.5 x 0.5 thing. But the thing is, you're only betting about 1/3 of the wheel...so it should be 0.66 x 0.66 x 0.66 or something.

Fucking idiot.

Oh well, too late now.

Towards the end of the session she asked if this is what I wanted to talk about. It wasn't. I felt like I had wanted counselling to explore the roots of my gambling problem, to pin point exactly why I did it and to find ways to resolve that. But we were talking about basically why gambling doesn't pay off in the long run, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, but I just felt it wasn't going to the root of my problems. But then I suppose, this is gambling counselling isn't it, and not a psychological assessment?

I returned to my office rather sheepishly, wondering if anyone had noticed I'd been gone for like 75 minutes.

On Thursday I met Daniel P for lunch. He invited me into his chambers, and it made me realise this was the first time I had been in chambers as a friend to someone, rather than for business reasons. I was very impressed, and got the feeling he probably wanted to show it off to me anyway.

We went to a sushi place, and he talked a lot about his recent cases and experience as we ate. I realised I wasn't sharing that much about my new job, probably because I couldn't. One thing in the back of my mind was who was going to pay for this. I paid last time, so I assumed it would be his turn. I noticed he wasn't reluctant in getting plates off the sushi train, or ordering a 'special' dish.

When it came time to pay, he said "I just have to make a call", which I knew was a sign he didn't want to pay. I didn't mind paying, because this was after all a 'networking opportunity', but I just thought, you know...I paid last time, and he makes more money than me.

On Friday I was supposed to meet Jessica for lunch, but she called in the morning saying she had been sent out to Penrith so she couldn't make it, but explained to me a bit about one of my cases given to her, which was why we wanted to meet in the first place. I was kinda glad I didn't have to meet for lunch, since I'd save some money.

However, Friday night 'jibs' was getting to me. I was too tired to go to the gym (played Wednesday and Thursday night), and wanted something to do. I couldn't go see Bibi because I was planning to buy shoes and had to pay for basketball fees, so a significant outlay there already. I messaged Jim and we ended up having pho in Bankstown.

We talked about his CA exams, basketball and Bo. After that we went to another place for ice cream, even though it was pretty cold. I was starting to get a stomach ache, so rather abruptly suggested we go home, lol.

Yesterday I spent almost an entire day looking for shoes! Can you believe I can't find a pair I like? And when I do, they don't have it in my size? I've come to realise that my feet must be rather small, as I'm told quite often that the shoes I want aren't available in my size.

I started off in Stanmore in the Florshiem 'warehouse', which was rather just a shoddy shop. Then went to Chatty, spent a bit of time there, then went into the city. Everything was on sale, so some good bargains, but just couldn't find a pair. What a waste of petrol.

Also that morning at 6:30am I had met up with Malay for a lap of the park. It went rather quickly and easily. Just goes to show how having a friend run with you can make a difference. By the end of it, I kinda thought "oh, can we keep going?" even though I knew my knee wouldn't be able to handle it.

This morning I went for a mile run at about 7:30am. It took me 8 minutes 22 seconds, so considerably slower than last time. Don't know why.

I then spent the rest of the day eating, playing NBA2K13 (glad to have the tv fixed on Friday!) and cleaning up the house. Also had a little nap before heading off to the game at 4pm. I arrived late because there was an accident on Parra Road, but e won anyway. I only played sparing minutes, don't know why One took me off at the end of the game, but oh well. It was against Richard's team, so I really wanted to win that.

Bad news is we might be moved up to Division 4 because Kim thinks we're too good.