My first GA meeting
At lunch, I felt like I needed to do something other than just grabbing lunch. There was no need for a bank visit as I wasn't depositing cash (had I gotten used to that??). I decided to go out and make a call to make an appointment to see a gambling counsellor.
I wandered around to Wesley Mission where I had previously seen a sign for help for gambling addicts. I found a corner and made a phone call. I was told that they were so busy, they couldn't make an appointment today - they had to call me back in two weeks to make an appointment!
Disappointed, I decided to check out Wesley Mission, but not before scoping around for people who might recognise me. I felt like I was about to walk into a brothel. After several re-directions, I found my way to their office which was on the same floor as those people I had met at work drinks a few weeks ago.
Great, as if you needed any more difficulties in this.
I went in, but no counsellor was available, so I just left my name and phone number.
For the rest of the day, thoughts of gambling tonight flowed through me intermittently. I could always skip gym, go home, grab the car, and go to the casino. Or I could even go after gym.
I went to the gym, then grabbed a chocolate bar, KFC and then went home. I got the car and went looking for the GA place. I actually went to the wrong address at first, and probably looked a bit suspicious hanging around there at night.
I eventually found it, which was like a small room at the bottom of the church. I was late now, obviously, so I had walked in on a group of people sitting on chairs in a large circle. They all looked at me. I wasn't sure if it was GA and cautiously walked closer, before taking a seat. I figured, if this was something else, they'd just ask me to leave.
The guy at the top interrupted someone speaking, and asked for my name. I told him and then someone else resumed speaking. Apparently they were reading from a booklet on gambling. They were taking turns reading paragraphs, and I read out a paragraph when it came to my turn.
After that we read from a larger booklet, and then it was time to share our stories. The guy to my right started, and he was the mumbler. I couldn't tell what the hell he was saying when he was reading, and so I sure as hell couldn't tell now what he was talking about. All I could pick up was "TAB" and that he had sold 25 suits to fund his addiction.
I found it a bit odd that everyone introduced themselves as "Hi I'm [name] and I'm a compulsive gambler". I guess it makes you face reality.
After everyone had done their spiel, I was invited to go last. I told them about how I started in 2007/2008, that my friends took me there and before that I had never even thought about gambling. I told them about how I played sic bo at first, won $30, then found myself coming back to play roulette and started losing money, eventually racking up a credit card debt and selling my dad's shares. A guy nodded as I spoke, which was comforting, because it made me feel that he knew what it was like to be going through all that. I nearly cried when I said I felt guilty because my dad was a hard working man who single handedly brought the family over and here I was losing all this money.
We finished at about 9pm, and ended by standing in a circle, holding hands and saying a pray which I thought was a bit weird. After that, the one guy who looked semi-professional approached me and said "hey baldy". He said he followed basketball as well and asked me which team. I thought he meant he recognised me from my basketball comp, but apparently he meant the NBA. He said he had been to a lot of games, and actually flew around following the LA-Boston finals.
We ended up talking outside, and he mentioned he was a business owner. He asked me what job I did because I said I felt guilty when I gambled while people's lives were at stake, so I said I was a lawyer and some guy went to jail for 17 years during my addiction. He talked about how this addiction never leaves you, that he first started when he was 17 and now he's 37. We swapped numbers, and he said he worked in the city as well. He left by saying jokingly that he hated the Celtics lol.
When I was going home from work earlier, I had texted Katie about plans for Saturday, so I expected a reply when I got home (didn't have my phone with me, as it was at home charging). I saw two messages - one from Daniel, and one from.........Erica.
I thought to myself, "I did message KATIE and not ERICA, right?"
I wandered around to Wesley Mission where I had previously seen a sign for help for gambling addicts. I found a corner and made a phone call. I was told that they were so busy, they couldn't make an appointment today - they had to call me back in two weeks to make an appointment!
Disappointed, I decided to check out Wesley Mission, but not before scoping around for people who might recognise me. I felt like I was about to walk into a brothel. After several re-directions, I found my way to their office which was on the same floor as those people I had met at work drinks a few weeks ago.
Great, as if you needed any more difficulties in this.
I went in, but no counsellor was available, so I just left my name and phone number.
For the rest of the day, thoughts of gambling tonight flowed through me intermittently. I could always skip gym, go home, grab the car, and go to the casino. Or I could even go after gym.
I went to the gym, then grabbed a chocolate bar, KFC and then went home. I got the car and went looking for the GA place. I actually went to the wrong address at first, and probably looked a bit suspicious hanging around there at night.
I eventually found it, which was like a small room at the bottom of the church. I was late now, obviously, so I had walked in on a group of people sitting on chairs in a large circle. They all looked at me. I wasn't sure if it was GA and cautiously walked closer, before taking a seat. I figured, if this was something else, they'd just ask me to leave.
The guy at the top interrupted someone speaking, and asked for my name. I told him and then someone else resumed speaking. Apparently they were reading from a booklet on gambling. They were taking turns reading paragraphs, and I read out a paragraph when it came to my turn.
After that we read from a larger booklet, and then it was time to share our stories. The guy to my right started, and he was the mumbler. I couldn't tell what the hell he was saying when he was reading, and so I sure as hell couldn't tell now what he was talking about. All I could pick up was "TAB" and that he had sold 25 suits to fund his addiction.
I found it a bit odd that everyone introduced themselves as "Hi I'm [name] and I'm a compulsive gambler". I guess it makes you face reality.
After everyone had done their spiel, I was invited to go last. I told them about how I started in 2007/2008, that my friends took me there and before that I had never even thought about gambling. I told them about how I played sic bo at first, won $30, then found myself coming back to play roulette and started losing money, eventually racking up a credit card debt and selling my dad's shares. A guy nodded as I spoke, which was comforting, because it made me feel that he knew what it was like to be going through all that. I nearly cried when I said I felt guilty because my dad was a hard working man who single handedly brought the family over and here I was losing all this money.
We finished at about 9pm, and ended by standing in a circle, holding hands and saying a pray which I thought was a bit weird. After that, the one guy who looked semi-professional approached me and said "hey baldy". He said he followed basketball as well and asked me which team. I thought he meant he recognised me from my basketball comp, but apparently he meant the NBA. He said he had been to a lot of games, and actually flew around following the LA-Boston finals.
We ended up talking outside, and he mentioned he was a business owner. He asked me what job I did because I said I felt guilty when I gambled while people's lives were at stake, so I said I was a lawyer and some guy went to jail for 17 years during my addiction. He talked about how this addiction never leaves you, that he first started when he was 17 and now he's 37. We swapped numbers, and he said he worked in the city as well. He left by saying jokingly that he hated the Celtics lol.
When I was going home from work earlier, I had texted Katie about plans for Saturday, so I expected a reply when I got home (didn't have my phone with me, as it was at home charging). I saw two messages - one from Daniel, and one from.........Erica.
I thought to myself, "I did message KATIE and not ERICA, right?"
posted by toey | 22:06
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