Insecurity rearing its ugly head / contract signed

I woke up thinking of Lina, and expected to see some sort of good night or good morning message from her. I knew this would drive me crazy at work. And it did later on in the day, as I kept checking for messages from her.

Nothing.

I was going insane thinking about it, thinking that maybe she had changed her mind and no longer liked me, even though just a day ago she said she was happy she spent the day with me. Silly thoughts.

I reasoned with myself that maybe she had forgotten about my new phone and sent me some messages on my old phone, so I'd see them when I got home. However, that didn't stop me from going to the casino after work. I told myself that she was no longer interested, that I should be depressed and gamble.

So I did.

But I also told myself to get in and get out. I sat at a table with a sole Chinese guy gambling only with $100 chips. I only played two spins, and sat through a lot. I won on both and walked off with $720.

I returned to the office to do a bit more work, then went to the gym. When I got home, I saw that she didn't send me any messages on my old phone. So I messaged her, and she has just replied a few minutes ago. Crisis averted?

In other news, I signed my three year extension contract today. The timing of this was fairly crucial. First, my exam results come out soon. If I don't sign the contract by then and fail, they may think "shit, he's a failure, let's retract the offer". On the other hand, if I sign it now and I pass, it becomes fairly obvious I won't (can't) stay the whole three years.

Secondly, my private hearing is on Wednesday. I am not too confident about it. If I perform poorly, they may also regret the offer. Hence I must sign it now. I almost forgot to read it before I went to see Nick about it. Most notable condition was that I had to give four weeks notice if I wanted to resign. Also noticed they gave me a $5000 raise, and the new contract starts at the end of March.