The need to be liked
Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was that moment today when you realised DS did a complete backflip by suggesting you send a letter to the cops saying you weren't going to do anything despite having had the matter for more than a year.
Or maybe, it was just what happened yesterday.
But I had a headache the whole day. What happened yesterday had left me uneasy. I'm not sure if Nick getting pissed at me for taking him off at the last moment was worse, or if Mike ignoring me was worse. In the back of my mind, I was trying to sort things out. To rationalise things.
Part of me wanted to throw in the towel. If they think they can do a better job, they can do it. I'd step away as captain and just be 'another player'. I'd had enough of this. Why is basketball giving me stress? Why are they giving me the shits? I felt like doing this:
But part of me was trying to fight back, to be a better captain. That part of me made me book a court for Saturday training - rather early to do it on a Monday, but I was motivated.
At lunch I went for an angry jog, thinking about these things.
I left work at 4:45pm because of my headache, and also figured I could try to get to the gym early instead of late to get my stuff done. It worked - the place was still busy, but I found an area for abs, then went down for the bike.
As I left and walked through that small mall, I wondered how Kobe would deal with this. Surely he wouldn't give in. He'd probably insist he was right - which is what I should do.
Nick should have been taken off in garbage time.
Mike should have been punished for playing before our game.
I have to remember that what I did was right, instead of giving in to things just because people don't like it.
And, so what if you are not liked? Is it really the end of the world? A lot of people aren't liked and who know it. Think about celebrities, who are criticised basically for anything they do. You think it's a nice feeling for them? No, but they learn to deal with it. So maybe this is just one stage of your life you need to learn to deal with, instead of just throwing the towel in.
Or maybe, it was just what happened yesterday.
But I had a headache the whole day. What happened yesterday had left me uneasy. I'm not sure if Nick getting pissed at me for taking him off at the last moment was worse, or if Mike ignoring me was worse. In the back of my mind, I was trying to sort things out. To rationalise things.
Part of me wanted to throw in the towel. If they think they can do a better job, they can do it. I'd step away as captain and just be 'another player'. I'd had enough of this. Why is basketball giving me stress? Why are they giving me the shits? I felt like doing this:
But part of me was trying to fight back, to be a better captain. That part of me made me book a court for Saturday training - rather early to do it on a Monday, but I was motivated.
At lunch I went for an angry jog, thinking about these things.
I left work at 4:45pm because of my headache, and also figured I could try to get to the gym early instead of late to get my stuff done. It worked - the place was still busy, but I found an area for abs, then went down for the bike.
As I left and walked through that small mall, I wondered how Kobe would deal with this. Surely he wouldn't give in. He'd probably insist he was right - which is what I should do.
Nick should have been taken off in garbage time.
Mike should have been punished for playing before our game.
I have to remember that what I did was right, instead of giving in to things just because people don't like it.
And, so what if you are not liked? Is it really the end of the world? A lot of people aren't liked and who know it. Think about celebrities, who are criticised basically for anything they do. You think it's a nice feeling for them? No, but they learn to deal with it. So maybe this is just one stage of your life you need to learn to deal with, instead of just throwing the towel in.
posted by toey | 19:14
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