Well that sucked
Walked to work, did the usual good mornings to Clare and Nunjo as I walked past. I noticed Nunjo was seated facing side ways, so she was able to look up and see me. Wonder if she noticed my arms.
I went to ask her a work related question in mid-morning, and there was no talk of the lunch. I was beginning to think maybe I should pull out. It started dawning on me that if she was interested, she wouldn't be tagging a friend along - she'd want to be alone. Also, now it felt like I was intruding on their lunch. I felt like a blow-in. Ele called me for lunch and I said I couldn't. She wanted to meet up after work to play board games. I stupidly omitted that I was playing basketball after work so had to think of an excuse to blow her off.
Later on as I was walking to the photocopying room I passed Nunjo. I was just going to give her a nod, but when she saw me she took a stutter step and said "lunch is at 12:30". Great, too late to pull out now.
I kept working at my desk until about 12:40 when Nunjo and Fiona came to my room. As I grabbed my stuff and walked out with them, I already knew this was a mistake. Nunjo had no plans and asked me where to go. I suggested one place but Fiona said that was too far. We ended up going to that sushi place on the corner, the same place I went with Katie and Yoshi. Fiona asked if we should have a table or sit at the train, and I said table, as I didn't want the awkward position of the person on one side not hearing the person on the other side. But Nunjo just said to put down either. Hmmm.
We got a table, a small table. I was under the impression that we would share, so I asked them if there was anything they didn't eat as I didn't want to grab something and not have them eat it. But as I grabbed plates and put them on the table, I realised - they wanted to eat separately. Wow, now I felt like an idiot.
The rest of the lunch wasn't much better. Apart from one interesting moment when I talked about Don Decker, the rest of the session was an silent blanket of awkwardness. Fiona was nice about it, but I got the feeling she was like "what is this guy doing here?" as I could feel them exchanging silent glances at eachother, wondering what they could talk about with a guy in the middle. I just felt like they would've had a much more candid chat if I wasn't there. I felt like an intruder.
I couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough. We even paid the bill separately, like with separate counting of the dishes. I swear, even that lunch with Katie and Yoshi was better than this. When I returned to my desk, my first thought was "well, that sucked".
In the late afternoon, although I was productive, having started on my huge brief assessment, I thought about it some more and got angry. I decided I'd shun her. I told myself to save up money so I could show her what I could afford. I closed my door and worked away. Clare knocked on my glass to wave goodbye. She's nice. I saw Nunjo walk past out of the corner of my eye. She yelled goodbye to Ogre and left.
I worked until 6pm-ish when I met with Nick and Bo at Central to play ball. I had done calf raises at the gym yesterday, so was careful not to strain myself. I didn't even really want to play, I just wanted to talk to Nick about quitting on Sunday. He was pretty adamant about quitting, which upset me a bit.
We played some games. It was windy so I missed almost all my shots. My highlights included a steal on a guy driving and later a block on the same guy. It was a pretty big swat that sent the ball to the halfway line as he drove.
I went to ask her a work related question in mid-morning, and there was no talk of the lunch. I was beginning to think maybe I should pull out. It started dawning on me that if she was interested, she wouldn't be tagging a friend along - she'd want to be alone. Also, now it felt like I was intruding on their lunch. I felt like a blow-in. Ele called me for lunch and I said I couldn't. She wanted to meet up after work to play board games. I stupidly omitted that I was playing basketball after work so had to think of an excuse to blow her off.
Later on as I was walking to the photocopying room I passed Nunjo. I was just going to give her a nod, but when she saw me she took a stutter step and said "lunch is at 12:30". Great, too late to pull out now.
I kept working at my desk until about 12:40 when Nunjo and Fiona came to my room. As I grabbed my stuff and walked out with them, I already knew this was a mistake. Nunjo had no plans and asked me where to go. I suggested one place but Fiona said that was too far. We ended up going to that sushi place on the corner, the same place I went with Katie and Yoshi. Fiona asked if we should have a table or sit at the train, and I said table, as I didn't want the awkward position of the person on one side not hearing the person on the other side. But Nunjo just said to put down either. Hmmm.
We got a table, a small table. I was under the impression that we would share, so I asked them if there was anything they didn't eat as I didn't want to grab something and not have them eat it. But as I grabbed plates and put them on the table, I realised - they wanted to eat separately. Wow, now I felt like an idiot.
The rest of the lunch wasn't much better. Apart from one interesting moment when I talked about Don Decker, the rest of the session was an silent blanket of awkwardness. Fiona was nice about it, but I got the feeling she was like "what is this guy doing here?" as I could feel them exchanging silent glances at eachother, wondering what they could talk about with a guy in the middle. I just felt like they would've had a much more candid chat if I wasn't there. I felt like an intruder.
I couldn't wait to get out of there fast enough. We even paid the bill separately, like with separate counting of the dishes. I swear, even that lunch with Katie and Yoshi was better than this. When I returned to my desk, my first thought was "well, that sucked".
In the late afternoon, although I was productive, having started on my huge brief assessment, I thought about it some more and got angry. I decided I'd shun her. I told myself to save up money so I could show her what I could afford. I closed my door and worked away. Clare knocked on my glass to wave goodbye. She's nice. I saw Nunjo walk past out of the corner of my eye. She yelled goodbye to Ogre and left.
I worked until 6pm-ish when I met with Nick and Bo at Central to play ball. I had done calf raises at the gym yesterday, so was careful not to strain myself. I didn't even really want to play, I just wanted to talk to Nick about quitting on Sunday. He was pretty adamant about quitting, which upset me a bit.
We played some games. It was windy so I missed almost all my shots. My highlights included a steal on a guy driving and later a block on the same guy. It was a pretty big swat that sent the ball to the halfway line as he drove.
posted by toey | 22:44
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