My first sev appeal

So my house mate Kim left yesterday. It was kinda fun to have someone around the house, even though at times I preferred to be stuck in my room. On Monday night she brought some friends over, and although I sat in my room watching Passengers, I enjoyed the liveliness and noise the group was generating. It was the closest thing to home.

And so, yesterday it was kinda sad whe I came home from work to see Kim talking to Pandy, and then Kim telling me she was leaving. On a side note, I am really beginning to feel a 'vibe' from Pandy. I must admit, I found her to be somewhat attractive initially when I met her, with her cowboy hat and all, but there's one image I can't get out of my mind - when she was over on the weekend, she raised her arm and I saw her armpit hair. I don't think I've ever seen a woman's armpit hair. It kinda grossed me out a bit. She seems to laugh at the things I say even though it's not funny. When she first saw me in a suit she made a remark about how I looked smart in a suit and touched my arm. And yesterday, when I changed into my pajamas, she said "nice pajamas" and winked at me.

...................

I felt like I wanted to talk to Kim more than Pandy. It felt like the Twish-Jennifer situation; even though I met Twish/Pandy first, my view of them changed and I felt more 'magnet-ed' towards Jennifer/Kim.

I thought about offering Kim a ride to where she was catching the bus, but thought she might think I was coming onto her, but after a while I re-considered and offered. She said no at first, but when I asked again she said yes and called to cancel her cab. We stopped off at Macca's drive through so she could get something to eat, and then I dropped her off at the train station. We had a nice chat in the car. She asked me a few questions about my work. I know she was just being polite, but it felt good to talk about myself.

Today I had my first sev appeal. It would be my first time speaking in court in a looooong time. I would break my drought. I was nervous AS!

Even though I had gone to the toilet twice at home, when I got to the office I had that diarrhea feeling. I find that I get that when I'm nervous. Part of me was begging for the CDDP to offer me a job so I could not only go back to Sydney, but also take a role which didn't involve as much advocacy. Another part of me was telling me I could do it, that if other people could, then so could I; that if Karen looked so nervous doing it with her 21 years experience, then so could I; that I used to do this all the time at Nom's firm and it was nothing.

Getting into Ben's car holding a file and sensing that familiar smell of his dogs, I was on my way to court. When I got there I stood around, waiting to see what lawyer acted for the other side. Not many unfamiliar faces came in, so when this tall white guy walked in, I assumed he was the app.

Other matters were mentioned before mine, but when those were over we reverted to doing things down the list, and Ben turned around from the bar and gestured for me to approach. Only him and Karen were there from my office, and I was comfortable with them seeing me. I think I am the closest to them and they are my favourites. If anyone was going to watch my first time as a prosecutor, I was glad it was them.

I instinctively approached the bar and said "I appear in this matter your Honour". I thought about it, then added "for the Crown". I spelt my name for him and then mentioned my matter. Apparently the dude had sent a letter to court saying he was withdrawing. The judge asked me a few questions to confirm the previous orders, and then said something about this being an easy "baptism" but that it won't be so easy next time, lol.

I turned around and saw Karen smiling like a mother who had just witnessed her child take their first steps.

I was sooooo glad and relieved that was over. I was a little disappointed it didn't eventuate, but oh well.

I was quite happy, but then bumped into Simon Joy at court. We exchanged pleasantries and then I went into our room to talk with Ben. I saw Simon Joy waiting outside, but thought he was waiting for someone else. When I came out, he asked if I could receive a fax for him at my office because his hotel charged $1 per page. I said yes, but in hindsight, I shouldn't have, and he shouldn't have asked.

I started freaking out for the rest of the day, because I was pretty sure it was for a matter which Claire Mud was in, and I could just picture her face when she found out I had helped the other side.

I messaged Simon Joy to tell me when the fax was coming through. Whe I bumped into him again he asked what time would be best and I suggested 5pm, when most people had left. At 4:45pm, I received a call from his secretary saying she was faxing it now. I started stalking the fax machine back and forth. I think Sarah and the work experience student thought I was acting suss.

I just needed to get all of it before Claire Mud got to the fax machine. If she saw it or picked it up, I was dead meat. My reputation would be ruined, in less than two weeks.

Finally the fax was coming through, and luckily it was a new machine so it was quite fast. But then it ran out of paper. I tried to get some myself but had to ask Sarah for help. She offered to help me re-fill it, but I said I could do it. I couldn't. I stuffed it up and the paper got jammed. She spent like 10 minutes helping me un-jamming it, and also helped me put the machine back.

Fucking hell, talk about a covert operation gone wrong. At that moment I just wanted to get the 95 page fax as soon as possible and disappear.

I ended up getting all of it without Claire Mud's awareness. The secretary called back saying Simon Joy would like it in an envelope. I went to the stationery room to try to find one, but could only find really big ones. I took one and Andrew saw me. He must've been wondering what the hell I was doing with such a big envelope.

Screw it.

I put the envelope back. I've helped him enough. Now all I need to do is get it to him without anyone from my office seeing.