I think...it's over...(roulette)
Hardly got any work done yesterday because a block away some terrorist was holding the Lindt cafe up with hostages inside. Spent most of the day watching that on tv. It really made me think about gambling and put things into perspective. I had transferred $2000 from my savings account to be taken out for gambling after work, but I was beginning to re-consider. However, the desire to chase back my $1000 loss was too much.
So I went after work. I had a feeling Julie would be there and she was. As soon as I saw her, I avoided her by walking around the back of her to get to the tables on the other side (she was in the first pod). I chose a table in the second pod furthest away from her.
I sat down and noticed that we had a direct line of vision to each other, but if I stood up then the display sign would block our vision, which I did a lot. I tried not to look over or get distracted, but I did notice she turned her back to me a lot. Sometimes it'd be talking to her supervisor or other dealers, sometimes doing nothing. However, there were a few occasions where she looked my way.
I was never up, and was losing slowly. With all that I was feeling, it wasn't the greatest of moods. I realised that roulette had for me come to an end. It now seemed too hard of a game. How could I get it wrong so many times? I am betting 57% of the wheel and yet it lands in the other 43% more often than not. How?
I had conceded defeat, PLUS the feeling of Julie being nearby and everything around reminding me of her had now made the whole casino place seem so dull. I looked around and realised there weren't even many patrons around. It was a depressing place indeed.
I could only withdraw $1600 because I had bought an orange juice with my bank card earlier (actually could've withdrawn $1900 but saw no point in that) so in hindsight that was a blessing. With about $300 left, I messaged the shop and asked who was working and ended up booking for Misha. At that moment, my money would be better well spent on whoring. I played a bit more and managed to get back up to $400 and cashed in and left whilst Julie went on her break.
I left the casino, with absolutely no desire to ever come back and play again. This was it. I was tired of gambling. I was tired of losing money. I was tired of the casino making money off me. I wanted to start afresh. I was ready for it.
But first, I needed to cheer myself up. I caught a taxi to the shop and saw Misha. This was the first time she had seen me in a suit and she was visibly impressed. Our session went as normal, although with a bit of talk about meeting up for dinner or casino (I wasn't serious about the latter). I don't think she'd ever go out with me, but I was just having fun. After all, this was the great Misha every guy seems to fall in love with.
So I went after work. I had a feeling Julie would be there and she was. As soon as I saw her, I avoided her by walking around the back of her to get to the tables on the other side (she was in the first pod). I chose a table in the second pod furthest away from her.
I sat down and noticed that we had a direct line of vision to each other, but if I stood up then the display sign would block our vision, which I did a lot. I tried not to look over or get distracted, but I did notice she turned her back to me a lot. Sometimes it'd be talking to her supervisor or other dealers, sometimes doing nothing. However, there were a few occasions where she looked my way.
I was never up, and was losing slowly. With all that I was feeling, it wasn't the greatest of moods. I realised that roulette had for me come to an end. It now seemed too hard of a game. How could I get it wrong so many times? I am betting 57% of the wheel and yet it lands in the other 43% more often than not. How?
I had conceded defeat, PLUS the feeling of Julie being nearby and everything around reminding me of her had now made the whole casino place seem so dull. I looked around and realised there weren't even many patrons around. It was a depressing place indeed.
I could only withdraw $1600 because I had bought an orange juice with my bank card earlier (actually could've withdrawn $1900 but saw no point in that) so in hindsight that was a blessing. With about $300 left, I messaged the shop and asked who was working and ended up booking for Misha. At that moment, my money would be better well spent on whoring. I played a bit more and managed to get back up to $400 and cashed in and left whilst Julie went on her break.
I left the casino, with absolutely no desire to ever come back and play again. This was it. I was tired of gambling. I was tired of losing money. I was tired of the casino making money off me. I wanted to start afresh. I was ready for it.
But first, I needed to cheer myself up. I caught a taxi to the shop and saw Misha. This was the first time she had seen me in a suit and she was visibly impressed. Our session went as normal, although with a bit of talk about meeting up for dinner or casino (I wasn't serious about the latter). I don't think she'd ever go out with me, but I was just having fun. After all, this was the great Misha every guy seems to fall in love with.
posted by toey | 06:54
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