Do I gamble to talk to girls now?
I went to the casino before work today. Surprisingly there was one table that had players on it - an Asian lady and an Asian guy who looked kinda grumpy because he was losing.
The dealer was an Asian guy, and later the NZ guy, and I played carefully even though I didn't have much time. I was never down. The lady smashed 28-29 section and won that a few times, and we just made general chit chat about that. I did follow her on one spin where I had three splits on 28 and it landed on 28. I left with a $560 gain.
I left the casino close to 9am, and so got into the office at 9:30am. Geez I'm bad.
Work was ok, but I got the call today from Forbes saying I was unsuccessful. I was friendly to the guy, and he said some pretty nice things but I took it he said that to everyone else as well. Afterwards I felt like crying. I told Taran and they called him when I was there but he missed the call. He came to my room and we talked about it, and I felt like bursting into tears. When I took the call, I initially felt like maybe I had a chance, and told myself to immediately stop gambling if I got the position. Now that I didn't get it, I felt like I had nothing to live for and was free to waste the rest of my money on gambling.
After work I went to the casino. I actually left the office at 4:30pm because I felt like I had done enough for the day (finished my prep for Wednesday's hearing). When I got there, I walked around the roulette tables and realised Summer was nowhere to be seen. I wondered what happened, and concluded maybe she was just on a break.
Anyway, I found a table closest to the entrance where the dealer seemed to be a newbie Asian guy, and there was one person playing but they left soon after. I lost the first few spins, and just as I thought there was a trend of 1-2 section going on, Summer came over for the shift change. That was a bit annoying because I was sure I could've continued the 1-2 section. Summer greeted me in a friendly tone, and I thought she'd hit the 1-2 section but it landed on 19. She really has a way of not hitting my numbers.
She said something about how every time she sees me she knows it's nearly time to finish work, so that it was good to see me. I wondered for a moment if she was trying to make some subtle hints, despite her having a boyfriend. I changed the topic and told her I had checked out the BNB site she told me about.
So that started us off, and we got talking for pretty much the entirety of her shift, except when there were people nearby playing occasionally. I'd make her laugh at times, which was easy to do as I didn't feel any pressure with her, knowing she had a boyfriend. We managed to not talk about anything person, just travelling, roulette and her work. She again mentioned how she had to do roulette for at least six months before moving onto another game. I mentally contrasted this to Julie saying she had one more month of roulette, even though they both started working there at around the same time.
In terms of playing, I was slowly bleeding chips, despite her hitting me on black/column a few times, at other times she managed to always miss whatever I was betting on. However, I realised something - I wasn't too fussed about losing. I actually enjoyed talking to her. I enjoyed...the attention. I found her attractive, but had no intentions of making any moves, even if she didn't have a boyfriend. At times I'd think about Julie and smile a bit. But overall, I realised I was there to talk to someone. And it was a costly exercise.
I managed to survive her shift with the last of my $200, and then lost it with the next dealer. It's so funny how it just always manages to miss my section when I'm the only one at the table.
So I'm currently down $5900 for the month. Is this the price to pay for loneliness?
The dealer was an Asian guy, and later the NZ guy, and I played carefully even though I didn't have much time. I was never down. The lady smashed 28-29 section and won that a few times, and we just made general chit chat about that. I did follow her on one spin where I had three splits on 28 and it landed on 28. I left with a $560 gain.
I left the casino close to 9am, and so got into the office at 9:30am. Geez I'm bad.
Work was ok, but I got the call today from Forbes saying I was unsuccessful. I was friendly to the guy, and he said some pretty nice things but I took it he said that to everyone else as well. Afterwards I felt like crying. I told Taran and they called him when I was there but he missed the call. He came to my room and we talked about it, and I felt like bursting into tears. When I took the call, I initially felt like maybe I had a chance, and told myself to immediately stop gambling if I got the position. Now that I didn't get it, I felt like I had nothing to live for and was free to waste the rest of my money on gambling.
After work I went to the casino. I actually left the office at 4:30pm because I felt like I had done enough for the day (finished my prep for Wednesday's hearing). When I got there, I walked around the roulette tables and realised Summer was nowhere to be seen. I wondered what happened, and concluded maybe she was just on a break.
Anyway, I found a table closest to the entrance where the dealer seemed to be a newbie Asian guy, and there was one person playing but they left soon after. I lost the first few spins, and just as I thought there was a trend of 1-2 section going on, Summer came over for the shift change. That was a bit annoying because I was sure I could've continued the 1-2 section. Summer greeted me in a friendly tone, and I thought she'd hit the 1-2 section but it landed on 19. She really has a way of not hitting my numbers.
She said something about how every time she sees me she knows it's nearly time to finish work, so that it was good to see me. I wondered for a moment if she was trying to make some subtle hints, despite her having a boyfriend. I changed the topic and told her I had checked out the BNB site she told me about.
So that started us off, and we got talking for pretty much the entirety of her shift, except when there were people nearby playing occasionally. I'd make her laugh at times, which was easy to do as I didn't feel any pressure with her, knowing she had a boyfriend. We managed to not talk about anything person, just travelling, roulette and her work. She again mentioned how she had to do roulette for at least six months before moving onto another game. I mentally contrasted this to Julie saying she had one more month of roulette, even though they both started working there at around the same time.
In terms of playing, I was slowly bleeding chips, despite her hitting me on black/column a few times, at other times she managed to always miss whatever I was betting on. However, I realised something - I wasn't too fussed about losing. I actually enjoyed talking to her. I enjoyed...the attention. I found her attractive, but had no intentions of making any moves, even if she didn't have a boyfriend. At times I'd think about Julie and smile a bit. But overall, I realised I was there to talk to someone. And it was a costly exercise.
I managed to survive her shift with the last of my $200, and then lost it with the next dealer. It's so funny how it just always manages to miss my section when I'm the only one at the table.
So I'm currently down $5900 for the month. Is this the price to pay for loneliness?
posted by toey | 19:38
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