The office xmas party

So this morning when I woke up I sent an SMS to Erica.

I walked to work as usual, feeling a bit down knowing I'd be $1000 behind for the two iPads. I looked at the apartments around me, which is always a good reminder for me to save my money, and wished I hadn't of bought those iPads.

In the morning, that girl working one day a week, Nikila, came into my room to ask for my ID card so she could test her own. I was like "yeah...as long as you promise not to laugh at my photo". She got it and then started laughing. At first I thought it was a fake laugh, just to make fun of me, but she was actually really laughing. She said I didn't look like the photo, and I asked if it was better or worse, and she said better now.

She came round a second time to borrow it so she could test her card again, but when she returned it this time, I noticed our fingers touched lightly. I wonder if she noticed. I wondered if it was deliberate.

As is usual these days, I sometimes check my phone to browse the net during mini-breaks while working. So I was checking out some relationship forum when Nunjo walks in without a word, and places a letter in my in-tray.

Is this an apology letter?

I thought about saying thanks, but she was already headed back out. I went to reach for it, and noticed she looked back into my room through the glass to see if I reacted. It was just one of those standard letters paras send out for new matters. Don't know what she was doing with it. Was she so desperate now that she was volunteering to pass it to me from Sue?

I kept working, thinking about whether I should go to the office xmas party. I didn't want to go because I didn't want to waste $20 to stand around eating crap food talking to people I normally see at work anyway. But Nikila was going, and Genie was pressing for me to go, and I had bought some raffle tickets anyway, so...

Come lunch time, I had planned to go get some junk food, but ended up eating my instant noodles to save money. I think I'm going to get cancer or something from eating all this crap, just to save a few bucks.

At 2pm I went to the xmas party with Genie and Canda. I saw Nunjo sitting with Clare and Christina. Clare smiled at me and I smiled back. I went to get a lemonade and stood around talking to Genie and Canda, but then Nikila came round and started talking to me. I realised how pretty her eyes were, but kept telling myself she was too young (I reckon she'd be 22-24). I got a few laughs out of her, as I told her about dogs learning to drive, and she asked me what I was doing after and I said going home. She said she was going out with Kay and invited me to go. I'd go, but Kay? Nah...

While we were talking, that HR lady Chris gave me a stare.

Was she disapproving of me chatting up such a young girl?

I wondered if Nunjo was getting jealous. Surely she could see, we were right in front of her.

After that Paul B came around and started talking to us, which was kinda easy cause he's a bit like Ray - loud and talkative. Then Alex came and we stood around talking, and then eventually we moved to some seats. Canda's friends from another branch sat with us as well - Tania and Julia. I thought Tania seemed a bit stuck up, but I got to talk to Julia a bit. Although I wasn't feeling shy, I couldn't think of anything to say.

Then the raffle happened, and I eagerly sat forward with my raffle tickets waiting to check, not that any of the prizes really interested me. Maybe this is what happens when I stop gambling - I just start finding risky fun in something else.

Anyway, Jim picked out the first winner, and Kristie said my name!!! FOOK!

I walked up and took the huge basket of goodies, and held it up above my head in a macho manner, which got a lot of cheers. The second winner was Imad, the third was Alanna, and the last (toilet paper) was Nunjo - all from our floor!

I hung around a bit more talking and then left with Genie and Canda back to the office (bumped into a girl who almost looked like Naby without make up). I realised the day had gone pretty well without any doing on my part - I got to chat up Nikila in front of Nunjo, I won first prize, and she won the toilet paper. Ah, could life be any better now?

Well, yes. Erica could respond.

But she hadn't.

I was starting to get insecure (again).

I told myself to go to Naby's shop. I was feeling it. At the xmas party, I couldn't help but check out Nikia's body when she was at a distance talking to others. There was also an Asian para who made heaps of eye contact with me when she entered, and she was kinda hot. This was all too much. I needed a release.

But there was one thing - I had eaten a bit and my tummy felt full, which is not a good feeling to go to the shops with. I like to feel lean.

I thought about it when I was back at the office, and then finally decided not to. Why? I suddenly felt the reality of morales...how could I do that to Erica? Was I being stupid? I just couldn't do it.

I went to the wharf side near the casino where I sat down for a while. I had pretty much concluded that Erica wasn't available - not that she was avoiding me.

I walked back to the city and checked out DJ's before catching a bus home.

Lucky I didn't go to Naby's shop, because Erica just messaged back on Kakaotalk :)