Rookie mistake

Yesterday's preparation for the bail was nerve racking. At times, I wanted to not do it. I often wanted the easy way out. As the time got closer, the feeling in my stomach got sicker. Or maybe it was just the lolly I ate. But I didn't really have an appetite for lunch, although I did force myself to buy a couple of buns from Breadtop just to keep me going.

At about 1:40pm I left the office and headed for the court. When I got there, I saw a whole group of people standing in the stairwell waiting for the doors to open, along with AD and GB. I nodded to both of them and they acknowledged me. I wondered what GB was here for.

Great, now he's going to see how much I suck.

I stood around a bit before AD came down and had his sol had me some documents. He also told me GB was going to do the bail. This was great for many reasons:

1. In 'the' trial, I was defence and he was pros. Now we had switched.

2. He is a silk. I am on a level 1 salary. Fucking hell.

3. In case that wasn't obvious enough, it's like Michael Jordan against Joe Wolf.

Yeah, that's right - who?

The cop came around to introduce himself to me. He had told me he wasn't dressed for the occasion, but I still didn't expect this. I had taken one look at him earlier and thought he was a crim, lol.

We walked in, and then into the courtroom. WT was also there, and when he found out I was for the pros, he started saying stuff like "what's a nice young man like you doing opposing bail, it's Christmas", haha.

Our matter was first up, and it wasn't mag Moore, which was disadvantageous for me. He read the facts and asked me for my attitude, and then GB did his spiel. He was very structured, and fairly persuasive, although I didn't agree with his "positive rejection" comment. Come on.

Then it was my turn. I half read my points and half spoke freely. I was doing alright, until I added that one piece of evidence represented "a desire, followed by an attempt".

GB picked up on this and said in reply that a desire was not enough. I could feel my face going red. I did follow it up with attempt.

The mag gave him bail, and we spent the next few minute ssorting out the conditions. We walked out, and the cop and I went to the registry to sort some things out. We waved goodbye to GB and AD then walked out. I felt pretty bad. I also felt conflicted. Me losing = me unhappy = someone getting bail? That didn't make sense. Usually I'm ecstatic when someone gets bail. Now I don't want them to?

The cop and I talked about the case as we walked back, and then parted at the intersection. I felt so so bad. I went back to the office and found Mary talking to Claire and Jenny, and I told them what had happened. Michael had also arrived on the scene and we were outside Sarah's room so she could hear. When I told them it was GB, someone joked the mag had asked "what conditions would you like GB?" meaning it was almost automatica bail. Maybe that made me feel a bit better.

But it's left me wondering: did I do a bad job, or was it purely by GB's reputation that he got bail?

I was pretty much out of it for the rest of the day, so finished off writing up some notes, had to go see Wendy A about a matter, and then tried to pack up to leave. It was close to 6pm and Mary was still there. We headed out together and she placed some chocolates on my desk. That made me suspect that she had been waiting for me to leave first.

We talked on the way out and parted at the bottom of the building. I went home then drove to the gym to do my exercises and clear my mind.

Today
I didn't feel like going to the gym in the morning. When I was half awake I had considered skipping it, but I ended up going anyway.

I was somehow fresh and re-charged for the day, to prepare for the bail tomorrow. I had to learn from my mistakes, and couldn't let failure haunt me. I was all charged up to just get into the office and start working. But when I got in, Mary was talking to Sarah and suggested we go for a coffee.

Great.

I did a bit of work for Wendy A before Mary came around to collect me. So Mary, Sarah, Steve, Moira, Jenny and I headed off to the QVB for coffee. This was really crazy. Why on earth were we going so far for coffee??? DON'T WE ALL HAVE WORK TO DO???

I had a good chance to talk to Steve on the way there. We haven't spoken much since my arrival. Maybe he's busy, or maybe he doesn't like me. But he doesn't seem like the type. We talked about how he used to work for SLA, which I find pretty cool. He was pretty humble about it, saying he'd only been there for a year, but we all know a year there is like two years anywhere else.

We ended up at a pretty fancy shop upstairs in QVB. At first I got some bad seating, seated next to Moira and away from everyone, until Mary asked me to move next to Steve - good move.

We ordered our coffee and some cakes and sat around talking. It was good to have this kinda thing, which I never imagine would be done with level 10. I couldn't help but notice how much Sarah looked like lollypop. I wondered why Heath called her ice maiden, lol. She didn't seem uptight to me, but she did seem to be 'proper'. I liked the way she would touch her ponytail sometimes when she talked.

I was mostly quiet throughout, but did manage to get a few lines in. Michael arrived later and we joked about him taking all the cakes. I reckon this is the only branch where you can make fun of the boss like that, and I'm not sure if it's something I can get used to.

After a while we walked back, and I talked to Steve again.

I spent the rest of the day preparing for tomorrow. At lunch I went to Pizza Hut to get a pasta. While waiting, I took a seat at the end near two teenagers. One of them asked me if I had a spare $2. I said no, even though I did. He then asked me for a cigarette. I said I didn't have any, and he said he saw me smoking outside.

Then his friend asked if I wanted to buy an ipod, and he held one out. It reminded me of those GIC cases. I said no.

After a while the guy who had asked me for change walked down the stairs and started talking to some of the diners eating above the stairs. He seemed to be offering them the ipod. Unbelievable, one guy was interested enough to talk to him, and then come down to the stairs to continue the conversation, then his friends joined him and I presume there was some bargaining going on.

I just wanted my pasta as quickly as possible.

In the end the guys didn't seem to buy it, I got my pasta and left.

I actually had that sickening feeling in my stomach again, so maybe I'm not sick from nervousness, but from something else. But the pasta was alright, depsite how I felt.

I worked on my bail for the rest of the day. It had appeared that I would be going to the SC in the morning, but that's no longer the case. At the end of the day, I was facing my door reading a case, when Sarah yelled out goodbye. I looked up through my window and saw her in her sporty gear.

Maybe it's just me, but thus far I don't think she has ever said goodbye to me at the end of the day. Was she just trying to get me to see her in her sporty gear?

On the bus home I bumped into Keen. He was waving at me, and because I didn't have my glasses on, I thought he was waving at someone else until I got closer. It was a bit awkward, because I didn't want to bring up his divorce so I tried hard to avoid it. But I think I did a good job of making convo. I noticed he kept checking out a girl who had gotten on and sat a row behind us on the other side of the aisle. I was a bit surprised, maybe he's just on the rebound.

I didn't go to the gym, but I did go for a run. Didn't really feel like it, but told myself it'd be good for my knee. I did a lap without stopping, even though towards the last leg my stomach started cramping. I felt my tummy and it felt like I was fat, but when I got home to look in the mirror, I'm quite lean, that part just naturally sticks out.