Soooo different

Made some 'hot dogs' for breakfast today, very proud, because I was thinking I'd just go buy something for breakfast in the city, so managed to save myself a bit of money.

Got to work at about 8:20am and started working on those matters that came in the night before. I spoke to one of the cops and told him I'd adj it because it might be referred to another agency, and he just paused. Later on, Mary came to me and said he had called her, and basically said (in her nice friendly way) that these matters don't get referred, we keep them ourselves. I could tell the message was "you're wrong", and tried not to take it too hard. But afterwards, I felt like crawling into a corner and hiding. I was so blatantly wrong that this cop had to go behind my back to call my supervisor and tell her. Fark. I felt like scratching my face off. I felt like hiding away from work. This error had made me feel so bad about myself. How could I be so wrong???

I went to give the files to Erin and then went to look for Alanna. She had sent me an email saying she got engaged over the weekend so I wanted to congratulate her. She wasn't in her room so I went to talk to Lewis a bit, he seemed really happy to see me. I think he's very lonely there. Anyway, I then went to see Alanna and congratulated her. She showed me her ring which was pretty huge. Made me think of the day I'd have to finally afford one.

I spent the rest of the day working on some extradition thing Mary had given me to do. I swear it took so long, because I was at pains to make sure there weren't any errors. I could tell that I was starting to look 'green' to Mary, and now I needed to prove my worth. At this stage, the fact that I went for an SLO must be a joke.

I went out to get a $5.80 sushi box for lunch and ate it back in the office. While eating, I read this really cool article from one of my favourite writers. I like it so much I want to keep it, so I'll just re-post it here.

Ever thought you're just a little different to the people around you? Maybe just a touch smarter, a tad more "enlightened"; you're sensitive and creative and surely feel and think things other people don't.

Well, I reckon it's a delusion, a myth - and this widely-held fantasy of "I'm different" is a smoking crack in the earth that routinely swallows human empathy.

"I'm different to them," we think as we put distance between ourselves and other races, religions, our countrymen, neighbours, even family.

Queues always remind me how much alike we are - as we line up for beer, coffee, iPads, nightclubs, music gigs, half-price sales, medical assistance.

Eat, drink, poop, pee, laugh, cry, come, someone please tell me I'm wonderful. Repeat until death. These are the things that consume us ...

I reckon we'd be astonished if we could slot another person's brain into our skulls and experience their thoughts, fears and desires. We'd soon realise just how similar we all are; bogan and snob, refugee and racist, terrorist and banker, geek and wanker.

But, no, you're different? You care about the environment? You have a cool tattoo? You've been to Vietnam four times? Please, join the beer queue, or some other queue at some other event where your "kind" goes for sensory excitement because ... you're different!

The thing is, while we're told and sold this fraud - that we're unique - by advertisers, parents and Oprah, it's just one finger on a fist of narcissistic mantras flexing inside people nowadays.

And with such fundamental deception informing so many people's behaviour, how can we ever progress?

If you believe the world is flat, you won't discover new lands because you're afraid of falling off the earth, so I reckon we need to flush out some commonly espoused fantasies, such as:

You're an individual: You're not. You wear jeans, use legal tender and eat the same food groups as the rest of us. True individuals don't describe themselves as such on Facebook. They ain't on Facebook.

And don't give me the "I'm an artist/hippie/gangster/goth" line either. You're just conforming to another archetype, like the rest of your herd.

You can do anything: You cannot. You can't any more do brain surgery than most surgeons can correctly roast coffee beans, manufacture opium or spear a kangaroo with a fire-hardened stick.

"Just believing in yourself" will not make it happen either, no matter what the sports star who visited your school said. Work out one thing you like doing. If you're lucky, you can get good at it and make a living.

You're the most important person in the world: Wrong again. I'm sure even Barack Obama doesn't believe this, but there are store assistants at Surf Dive 'n' Ski absolutely convinced of it.

There's a line in the latest Ben Affleck film The Company Men, in which a high-powered character who's lost his job because of the GFC states the obvious:

"You know the worst part? The world didn't stop. The newspapers still came every morning, the automatic sprinklers shut off at six and Geoff next door still washed his car every Sunday. My life ended and nobody noticed," he says.

Ever been to a funeral? Life goes on afterwards doesn't it? Even without you and yours.

There's someone for everybody: There sure are a lot of everybodies dying alone in hospitals.

The myth of the ideal stranger has ruined more relationships than alcohol. People think "they" are out there, when they're actually right next to them, snoring. Most of us just need to pull our heads in, examine our faults, make it work.

Just be yourself: What if you're a dickhead? For many people, being themselves seems to equate to being thoughtless. As US writer and philosopher Eric Hoffer said: "Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."

Just say what's on your mind: See above.

You can have it all: No you can't. You decide what what's important in life, then work towards that. If you're fortunate, that is what you can have.

The one thing that ties these modern mantras together is their lack of humility. I'd argue if you believe the opposite of these maxims, you'll be happier than following them.

We all need to accept we're but one of many sharing a planet, that we're not important, we have very real limits as to what we can achieve and, yes, we could well end up alone.

However, if you're thoughtful and concerned with others and have realistic goals, one day you might deservedly get what you've worked for.

And wouldn't that be different?

I remember thinking something along these lines a few years back, and wanted to make a post about it but never got around to it. But this guy seems to have managed to put it better than I ever could. Basically what I was going to say was that we aren't really that special - we are just another ant on the planet. So why is there a need for us to feel special? I guess because it keeps us alive. If we all didn't think much of ourselves, no one would ever have any drive to do anything. It's what keeps the rat race going I suppose.