Hanna

On Thursday morning I got lazy and woke up late, so got to the gym at around 7:30am. Since my physio appointment was at 8:30, most people probably wouldn't have bothered, but I really really wanted to warm up my leg to show him how much improvement there had been.

So I did some brief exercises before heading off, once again carrying the crutch instead of using it. I don't think he's ever seen me use the crutch when we meet.

He got me to lie down flat on my tummy on the bed, which was a bit uncomfortable because of my knee sticking up. He applied some sort of gel and started massaging my calve. It really hurt. It hurt so much that he had to keep telling me to relax. I thought it was going to feel good, but it was quite painful. I told him the doctor told me that I had three weeks to straighten my leg or else it would never straighten, and he sounded annoyed that the doctor had said that to me and told me not to listen to him.

After the massage I sat up on the bed and he asked me to straighten my leg, which I did. He took a look at the gap without the measuring tool and said something like three degrees, and said it had improved. I was glad he said there was improvment, but at the same time I wished he had measured it just to be sure.

After that he got me onto the bike, and I was so proud to show him I could do a full revolution. It was a bit hard at first, maybe due to the bike, but I got it done. I was hoping for a bit of praise, but instead, he directed me to use my heel to push down instead of the front of my foot, to feel the whole leg stretch. I must admit, it's a lot harder to cycle this way.

He had me cycle on the bike for the next 15 minutes while he was with another patient, which I didn't mind. He yelled out at one stage to ask how I was doing, and I yelled back ok, but I thought that any lazy bugger probably would've just been sitting there idly yelling back ok, lol.

After that we made an appointment for 9am next week, he said he wants to spend a bit more time with me. Not sure if it's because he thinks my knee needs more work than normal, hmmm. As I stood there waiting for him to book me in on the computer, I had my knee bent which is what I do when I wanna relax it, and he told me not to do that. He told me to try to keep it as straight as possible.

I went back to the shopping centre to get my car, and was ready to pay for it when the machine spat my ticket back out without charging me. I saw that I had like three minutes left. I hurried to my car and wondered if I would make it. I was pretty excited, lol. I tried to speed from my spot to the gates, and...MADE IT! Hehehe.

I went back home and then caught the bus out to work. I bumped into Malay's mom on the bus and she offered me her seat because she knew I had the surgery. I declined a few times but she really insisted, so I took it, and was kinda glad, because I the physio earlier really smashed my knee, and now I was feeling it.

We talked on the bus, and she said something about friends not lasting, which I thought was a bit strange. Hmmm.

I got to work and changed, then had a file review with Alanna. Everything went pretty straight forward, and we started talking about the agreement thing, and she said I was performing like a level 2 (which is what I should be) bordering on SLO. I thought that was a high compliment, and was a bit stunned. I mean, in my mind, that was my goal, but it was a bit of a shock for someone else to see that. I've always been meaning to compliment her back whenever she praises me, but I always forget, being lost in trying to record the compliment and holding the moment.

During lunch, I felt like eating out so I went out, but walked around and then felt like having my soup in the office, so I just went back to the office. While I was waiting for my soup in the microwave, I did the exercise where I pushed my knee back against the draws, and found that my calve could touch it. Maybe it was improvement? Or maybe it was because the shoes I was wearing weren't as thick as the ones I wear to the gym?

After work I went to the gym, but only did one set of each, because my knee felt REALLY tired from the physio. I felt that if I did my normal thing, something was going to break. I always did eight chin ups just for the hell of it.

On Friday morning I got lazy again and didn't even go to the gym. When I left for work, there was a bus which I tried to run for. I think I galloped. But what held me back was the front of my leg where the incision had been. It feels like that's stretching a lot when I try to run.

I went to work and did three sets of pushing my knee down before changing. Heath, Lewis and I were supposed to go for a steak lunch, but Lewis was sick, so I thought I'd just go with Heath, but when I went to get him, he had invited that Lorn guy and that Powel guy. It was good, I enjoyed the lunch (steak was yum) but as I sat there listening to them talk, I thought about how lucky I was to have Alanna as my supervisor. I don't think I would like this Powel guy as my supervisor. But at the same time, I couldn't picture having lunch with Alanna.

Just the day before, Alanna and I were waiting to see Wendy, and I found that we had nothing to talk about outside of work. Maybe she just wanted to listen to see when Wendy was finished, but she didn't seem to say much, and I found myself trying to initiate conversation.

I didn't really ask Alanna that many questions on Thursday or Friday, which hopefully gave her some time to do her own work. I noticed she left kinda early on Friday afternoon, just before I headed over to ask a question.

I stayed till about 6pm and then hurried to leave as I didn't want to be left with just Wendy and the boss. Emma held the lifts open for me and we had a bit of a chat about taking work home.

I went home and then went to the gym. I just want to say here that I quite enjoy doing these rehab exercises. It's peaceful, it's kinda like doing yoga or meditating. I kinda look forward to the peace each time I head out for it.

Anyway, I was feeling a bit lonely on a Friady night, and began pondering about going for a massage, or even gambling. When I went to the computer store to get my modem, that was actually quite close to the casino and it had crossed my mind to win some money for the modem and webcam. But I resisted, and I was glad I did.

As I laid there doing my exercises, I told myself that I didn't want to lay here the next day feeling dirty about having gambled again, so that wiped that from the equation. I told myself I would have a look at my knee in the changing room when I finished to decide about massage.

In the changing room, I peeled off a bit of the leg sleeve I was wearing (which is great by the way, I'm so used to it now) and saw all the dried off skin it had caused and the wound.

Nah, it's gonna be gross if a girl sees that.

So, that was that. Or so I thought.

I decided to go for a bit of a drive. There were no good movies to watch, but I had in mind maybe going for a solo dinner. But as I drove, I became convinced that a massage was what I needed. All I needed was a quiet spot to stop so I could take my leg sleeve off.

I stopped near the casino, and again, the thought of trying to win some to help witht he massage cost had crossed my mind. I took my off shoe and slid the sleeve off in the darkness of my car. And then, I was ready.

I went to the shop I used to go to regularly. The stairs proved not to be much trouble for me. I was ushered into a waiting room where four girls were introduced to me.

The first girl, Hanna, looked pretty and also, familiar. I thought maybe I had seen her in a line up before but hadn't picked her. I can't remember the second, but the third was a girl called Leonnie or something, who was very cute, but I figured she had too much make up on. The fourth girl was too big, and I don't think I could withstand her even with a good knee.

So it was a hard choice between Hanna and Leonnie.

In the end, I went with Hanna.

She came moments later to pick me up. She held out her hand and I took it, but then asked for the toilet where I quickly let her hand go. She tried to grab it back, but failed, and I just went to the toilet.

When I went to the room, she had come out halfway to see where I was. When I went in, she said I had seen her before. She said my name, and said she had seen me about four months ago. Now that was starting to accord to my memory, and I was trying to remember what she was like when I saw her. I was glad I didn't see Stacy in the line up, and was sure I remembered only one crazy girl which was Stacey. Everyone else seemed ok, so Hannah must've been ok?

We had a shower, and she used a sponge scrub thing to wash me, and when she got to my right leg I cringed a bit but she didn't wash it too hard. She told me she had been to Korea and back for a holiday between the last time I saw her and now. I wondered if she had somehow seen Naby (but I guess the times wouldn't add up).

It was only until after the shower that I told her about my injured leg and to stay away from it. I got onto the massage table awkwardly. As I laid there with her massaging me, I kept trying to remember the time I saw her. I remember her face and name, but nothing of the session. I also tried to remember if it was during the whole Naby thing, but it couldn't have been, because I was pretty faithful to Naby while she was here (as silly as that sounds).

I also wondered what it was about me that made her remember me. Was it my appearance? My name? What did I say to her?

The massage was ok, and I cringed a bit everytime she put a bit of pressure onto my right leg inadvertently, but overall she didn't hurt it. I even found myself trying to do some exercises like pushing my kene down against the bed, lol. In trying to finish, I thought about Naby to help me. Was that wrong? Throughout the whole thing, I just thought "this isn't Naby".

When we finished, she laid to my right on her tummy to talk to me. I instinctively put my arm up as if to invite her to lean into me so I could hold her, until I realised she wasn't Naby. So I put my arm behind my head as we talked. She said she liked the work because of the money, and I think money must've been pretty important to her. I tried to get out of her about what she did on her holiday, but she didn't say much.

I asked her about friends, and she said she didnt have any yet. I asked if she had a boyfriend and she said not yet. She said she works six days a week, and has Wednesdays off. Like all other girls, when I asked what she did on days off, she just said sleeping and eating.

We talked about the world cup, and I said I was hoping Korea would win, and she said "of course, we are Asian".

She went for a shower, and I found myself looking into the mirror in the ceiling, trying to do my exercises. I found that my left leg was indeed a bit longer than my right. Hmmm.

She came back and gave me a facial mask. She said she also did facials on days off, and I asked if this was what she did, and she said more expensive, and I joked that she was giving me a cheap one. She said the ones she got had people massaging her face, but couldn't really describe it.

She then examined my leg and said I had surgery. I asked her how she knew and she said she recognised the stitching. She askd me how I did it and I said I twisted it from basketball. She told me to be careful. In fact, she kept repeating that even after my shower as I was getting changed.

When we left, she kicked her box as she walked out, and that was when I remembered her. I remembered she did that last time and I thought she had a really care-free attitude. I said something about how that was like the world cup which made her laugh.

As always with this place, I exited out into the cold, returned to my car and went home.