No Nabi again :(

On Saturday night, I went downstairs to wait for G. He picked me up and Malay was about 30 seconds away. He picked us up in his new car, which was pretty amazing. I sat there and could appreciate his car with him, whereas I think if I was sitting in Bobby's Audi I would've been full of jealousy and would have been forcing myself to come up with phoney compliments.

We parked in the city and walked to the arcades where we met up with Brain, Thai and his wife. I couldn't help but be re-absorbed by the games, but I didn't play. It didn't have that type of lure to me anymore.

Thai's wife brought a friend along, and it was interesting to see how it affected the group dynamics when a new girl joined. We all politely waved, a little too shy to initiate conversation with her as if she was an alien. She wasn't that much of a looker, but she seemed nice enough. I was just glad she wasn't anything like Linda.

Anyway, we managed our way to a small Japanese restaurant near where I work. We waited a bit and had a fun time talking and joking. Even though I hadn't seen Thai for a while and I don't feel as close to him as I could, I found we could still joke like we just came from high school.

Brain asked Thai to tell me 'the' story, and Thai told me that he had been "rolled". I was shocked and asked him what happened. He said he was walking near Hyde Park at 4am one day, and this kid came up and started talking to him. Thai was drunk so he just ignored him, but then he felt someone hit him from the back and then he went unconscious. A passer-by who saw what happened helped him up and went to the police station with him. They had taken his wallet and his bag which had a PSP in it.

I thought it was a lot of bad luck for the couple, since his wife had recently had a serious fall at work and stayed at home resting for a while. Damn.

When we got a table inside I told him he could claim compensation, but he didn't want to do anything like that. I sat between him and Malay, and Thai's wife sat next to her friend, with Brain sitting opposite her. I thought it was a good opportunity for Brain to work on his 'skills', even if he wasn't attracted to her, but he failed. I don't think he spoke to her at all *sigh*

The food was ok, but I thought the place was pretty nice. I think the waitress who brought my dish over got angry because I didn't know what I had ordered, only the number of it.

Scope arrived a bit later, and I found him to be a refreshing version of Brain. He at least had a sense of humour. G, even though had eaten dinner at home prior, ordered a small dish, which I thought was an improvement in his social 'skills', to not feel left out. Usually if he had eaten he wouldn't order at all, but I was glad he did. Although in the car he did remark to me how cheap the drive-in cinema was when he went with his date, and I hoped he didn't say that to her.

After dinner we made our way to Sharkies to watch the soccer game between Korea and Greece. As we wandered around the place to find some good seats, I looked at all the "clubbing" people and wondered if this was what Nabi would get up to. I tried to see if she was there but didn't see anyone who remotely looked like her.

We managed to get a table close to a big screen, but as I was short sighted it didn't help me much. There was a tv right above me which was showing rugby, but later they switched it to soccer so I watched that one.

It was pretty quiet amongst us, but Shuing arrived soon after the first goal and it was like we couldn't stop talking, lol. We talked about the NBA Finals, the soccer, the Linda hooking up with Patrick thing, everything, lol.

I was cheering for Korea but I thought Greece was going to win. In the opening minutes, they just seemed to be the more aggressive team. But as Shuing pointed out, Korea had "finesse". I can't believe it was such a flogging. There was a pretty loud Greek fan behind me, and I was just glad the victory shut him up, hehe.

After the game we pretty much called it a night. We had too many people to fit in G's car, and Thai (sensibly) suggested that we could take a bus and the rest could go in G's car, since we lived close to our bus stops. That's the thing I liked about Thai, he can make the most objective and sensible decisions without being biased.

The only reason I wanted to go in G's car was because I feared the social awkwardness of having to be on the bus with Thai and his wife, but luckily it wasn't actually that bad. We sat right at the back, with me in the corner and his wife in between us. I said he was wearing a nice scarf and she said she made me, and I was very impressed. I first thought it was something from G-Star. She asked me how my work was, and I didn't want to dwell too much on it because I don't want to seem like some pomp-ass arrogant lawyer.

It was a nice night out, and we didn't stay out too late, but it was later than my usual bedtime, going to sleep at about 12:30am.

To my surprise, I woke up at about 7am yesterday, when I hadn't set my alarm so I thought I'd be sleeping in. I think I may have been woken up by the allure of gambling, but in hindsight, maybe my mind was thinking about Nabi?

I wanted to gamble so much, probably because I had won, and my mind wanted to do things with 'rewards' - if I had loss I'd be telling myself to staya way forever. I got into the car and thought about going, but instead went for a drive towards the sea side. There was barely anyone there, and I enjoyed the peacefulness of it all. It was such a beautiful sight to see the waves crashing onto the rocks again and again. Watching it makes me think about how amazing our world actually is. I thought about one day taking Nabi to such a sight.

I got back home at around 9am, and then headed out to the city looking to buy some clothes. I was after this top that I already have, it's pretty nice but I think the neck area is stretching out, so I wanted some back up ones. I went to Market City, and ended up getting two thin hoodies from Jay Jays. It wasn't what I was after, but I was just after something I could pull over to go out to the shops or whatever, nothing formal or too stylish, but with a little bit of coolness.

I don't really like wearing very nice clohtes, because I don't like the attention it gets. Like on Saturday night, because it was freezing cold, I wore my Politix black hoodie, and I noticed Brain looked at it a bit as we first met. I don't like it when people notice what I wear, maybe because I don't want to draw envy from them (whereas I think Bobby is actually the opposite, he wears things to make people say "wow, you're so cool/rich/stylish"). Also the other thing I noticed with Brain that night was he mentioned having gone shopping with Malay and regretted not buying a pair of shoes he saw. I think he, like me a few years ago, lives a life of regret. He fails to live in the moment, and when it passes, he bashes himself in the head with "should've, would've, could've".

I went back home after eating some Asian bread and watching the table tennis they had in the shopping centre. I got the car from my parents, and just like the day before, suited up without a tie and called the place. I asked if Nabi was working and...the guy said no :(

Again, I was left with the car and nothing to do. I guess what really hurts is when I expect something and it doesn't eventuate. If I hadn't of been expecting her to be working and was told the same thing, it wouldn't have hurt that much. But in my mind, I thought about her so much that I came to expect it. I guess that's why infidelity hurts so much, because you have the highest of expectataions that your partner will not cheat.

Anyway, I decided to check out some other places. I wanted to try a place I had never been to before. I called this one which was situated in private apartments, but their phones were off. I then went up North, and found myself sitting in my car in front of the place and changing my mind. I felt like a massage instead. It was cheaper as well.

So I drove back to the city and went to the massage place I used to go to a lot. I was told there were only two girls available, and was shown both of them. They seemed kinda similar, but the second one reminded me a bit of Emily/Jenny. I don't know why, but I went with the first girl, Stacey.

When we went into the room I was shocked to see how many tattoos she had on her back. It was kinda like Angelina Jolie's - but it was Korean writing vertically placed on her upper back, and a symbol on her lower back.

Her English was very good, and we got along pretty well. Maybe a little too well. When she found out I was in crime, she told me how she had been in the US and charged with illegal gambling and took the charge for her ex-boyfriend and nearly went to jail. She said her lawyer had cost her $250,000. She said she also used to work in the hospitality industry at the Weston, but didn't like it. This girl definitely had a past.

It got weird when she told me she had been attacked and robbed recently, and had scars on her face which she used her hair to hide. When she told me about the scars, I couldn't tell whether she was laughing or about to break into tears. I actually thought she was becoming a bit psychotic, but I did feel sorry for her. I half expected her to pull out a knife from behind her and stab me.

By now I was thinking "hmmm...I just want to shower and get the hell out of here", but she kept talking about it. The buzzer sounded, and I don't think I have ever been so relieved to hear that buzzer go. I stupidly told her about claiming compensation and that I'd get the form for her.

Great.

So now what? Do I stay true to my word and go back to give her the form and: 1) spend money which could be spent on Nabi instead; and 2) risk being exposed to this psycho. Tough decision. Ah the situations I get myself into...

I went home after that and washed my car. I love my car. I love having it so clean. I still need to wax that side of the door I polished a few weeks ago, grrr.

I parked the car back into the garage, not intending to go out anymore, but when I bummed around at home waiting for mom to come back for dinner and she didn't, I figured I'd go out and rent a video. At the last moment I decided to go to the casino and win $25 quickly and leave.

So I went, and near where I parked I saw a homeless guy sleeping in the corner somewhere in the freezing cold. I semi-told myself that if I won I'd give him $10.

I won $25 on the first game and $25 more on a second game, and then held my chips as I walked around. I had this image in my head that Nabi might be with some young rich guy with lots of $100 chips playing baccarat, so I went to the baccarat tables and looked for her. I don't know if I was disappointed or happy when I couldn't find her.

See? This is what paranoi does to you. It takes your deepest insecurities and makes it a reality. Sometimes I feel I'm lucky I got into law, because it teaches rational and logical thinking. Is a conclusion based on facts? If not, reject it. But my paranoi somehow keeps persuading and teaching me that these fantasies I dream of are real.

It's so true when they say that you are your own worst enemy. I think that fits me aptly. I also think it coincides with the "your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness" quote. My competitiveness is what has driven on and off the court, but unfortunately, it is fatal when applied in an environment such as gambling (see: Michael Jordan).

I walked back to m car and stopped at the homeless guy. He was in so deep and it was so dark I couldn't properly see. He could've been sleeping, he could've been sitting there looking back at me, or hell, it could've just been a pile of boxes and blankets and no one was really there. But in the end, I didn't have the guts to approach him and give him $10.

Does that make me a bad person?

I went to the video store and rented The Fourth Kind. That cute blonde was there. I think she thinks I'm creepy. She semi-smiled at me when I walked in. I went straight to the video because I knew where it was, got it and went to the counter. No browsing at all. I knew what I wanted.

I also bought some apple pies from Macca's to take home because I knew my mom liked them. I was still feeling a bit bad about not helping that homeless guy out. For some reason, I pictured myself sleeping in the cold, and it wasn't a very good situation to be in.

I watched The Fourth Kind at home and it was pretty good. It really makes you think about alien life. Although her credibility suffered a bit at the end, they never really could explain the alien voice on the tape recorder, or the guy flying up in his bed. I think that trumps any attack on her credibility.