Positive reference, then embarassment

Despite lying to A that I had a cold on Sunday, I really do have a cold now. I think it started yesterday, but it was pretty much in full swing today.

Mary could tell I had a cold and said I didn't look too well. I didn't say anything other than it was self inflicted (I think it was caused by shooting my threes in the cold on Sunday).

Anyway, DS came into my room today to talk about the reference he was giving me for my job app. He basically said not to worry if I thought it was too short or wasn't positive enough. He said he thought very highly of me, thinks I'll go to the bar (why does everyone think that??) and said he remembers seeing me in Parra in the big trial (I certainly don't remember seeing him - I wonder what I was doing when he saw me, hope it wasn't joking with DC, lol).

When I got the report, it was indeed short, but it was very flattering. I immediately sent Alanna an email thanking her, letting her know I couldn't have done it without her. She was humnble and said I did it all myself. Sometimes I wonder if I over-achieve without knowing it.

The other thing that happpened today was I was in the photocopying room with Mary as she had printed something off for me. All day long I've been trying not to talk to her too long because I could feel my runny nose starting, but this finally killed me.

Without ANY notice, a drop from my nose leaked out and landed onto the floor.

Faaaarrrk me dead...

She didn't look, but I think she saw it out of the corner of her eye, as she said I should go home if I wasn't feeling well (it was like 4:30pm anyway, no harm staying a bit longer). But I was so friggin' embarassed. She then said maybe I should get germs on the brief to give to the barista.

Fuck. So. Embarassed.

Can't even believe I lasted the whole day. I really felt like leaving halfway through, but I was determined to finish the brief.

Shohoku 3-4

Man, totally forgot to blog about the game on Wednesday night. We have seven guys, as Abi and Phil couldn't make it due to work.

Nick made a decision to start both Bo and Mike on the bench, even though I was against it cause I reckon they're too similar and we should keep them apart as much as possible.

We played the Mario Brothers, and I must admit, I was a little distracted because one of the guys has a girlfriend who has eyed me a couple of times, but she didn't seem to be present.

We got off to a pretty good lead and never really gave it up. I only took one shot which was a three and missed. I tried to run our play at the beginning of the second half, but forced it and turned it over. Nick was arguing with the other team's centre, about who had the higher IQ, which I thought was pretty weird for trashtalking. I tried to stop him by telling him that they were coming last, so it didn't matter, so we shouldn't waste our time. But I don't think logic and reason work very well with him when he's angry.

Any poked the ball away in a very nice defensive play, and I picked it up but he got called for the foul. I got so angry I slammed the ball to the ground. I meant to catch it, but didn't, which meant it bounced way up into the air. The ref told me to watch it, and I thought he was going to tech me, but he didn't. I apologised and Bo made fun of me from the bench, lol.

We won the game despite them pressuring us and making a little run in the end. That was probably the only solace for me, because I was quite upset that we only had one ref, which was a player from the duty team! Fuck, first they lied to Nick saying they provide two proper refs, then they tell us sometimes they'll have one ref, and now they have none!

Nick, white Mike and Angelo went to watch the State of Origin, and Nick wanted the rest of us to go, but I had to wake up early for Maitland the next day, which meant Any came with me, and Bo didn't want to spend any money on alcohol, which I thought was a sensible decision.

I lent Any $10 for KFC as he forgot to bring money out, and I knew he was hungry. I was pretty hungry too, but didn't want to spend any money. I have a feeling that somewhere down the track, he and Angelo won't get along. I remember during the game, while we were on the bench, he kept telling me how Angelo wasn't playing as a team. That's what I like about Any - he has a real team focus. I think he should be a coach.

Today
I lied and told A I didn't want to go swimming because I had a cold. I didn't want to go swimming for two reasons: 1) I wanted to save money (used up my ten visits); and 2) I wanted to work on my shot.

I got to the courts just after 8am and started working on my threes, continuing where I left off yesterday, where I thought was the 31st shot, but instead I made a mistake and started at the 21st shot.

Anyway, I did 40 shots, bringing me to finishing the halfway mark. I had planned to finish off the whole thing, but somewhere after my 31st shot I started feeling a bit of a slightly nagging sensation in my right calf. It was a small version of that same pain I used to get when my legs would cramp up. I think my legs needed more rest from yesterday, and since I'd be playing later, I didn't want to risk it. I especially didn't want to risk taking myself out of Wednesday night.

I went home, had an instant noodle, and then waited for my parents to come back with the car. I drove off at noon, and went to pick up Phil and his friend, James. Phil had just messaged me today saying he'd be bringing a friend along. I guess I was ok with that, but what I didn't like was how both of them just got into the back of the car, giving a real chaffeur feeling.

We went to pick Mike up, and he said he was bringing his brother, so great. I could picture after the game, five sweaty guys squashing against eachother in my car.

It was a bit of a relief to have Mike in the car, as he always has something to say, even though it may be dumb.

We got to the courts at 1:30pm, parking was bad because there were netball games on and also the finals in the Chinese comp. We walked in to find the finals of the premier league playing. I kept looking around to see if there was anyone I'd recognise, but I didn't have my glasses and everything was too blurry.

We shot around in court three for a bit before going to court one where Alex the guy booked the court. We started a game quickly and I must admit - I felt a bit bad, even ashamed, to be playing in non-uniforms with guys who were pretty crap, whereas on the other court my former comp was celebrating the finals. It felt like I was a reject. Kinda like I had gone from the big league to the small league. I'm sure no one, or at least not many, could recognise me, but still.

My team was me, Mike, Phil, James, and Mike's brother Kevin. I told Mike to focus and work on his rebounding, that we knew he could shoot and play, but he needed to rebound, and to forget about winning the games today because we knew we were better. I didn't really feel like playing hard anyway, probably because I was tired.

I noticed Mike really improved his rebounding, which was good. It's good to see he can improve if he really tries. Other than that, I was pretty pissed off with things. I was pissed off that Phil had brought along a guy who completely could not play. I mean, he said he hadn't played for five years, but even given that, I could see he was not a basketball player. And why the hell did he play in pants and not have a bottle of drink???

Then there was Mike's brother. I thought, being his brother, he'd have at least a bit of game, but nope, he was nervous as fuck. I was playing with a team of non-basketball players. Great.

Carter stayed after the finals, and he joined our games. I did play a few games with him, but while watching I noticed how good he actually was. He would glide from one end of the court to the other to make a basket. Or maybe these guys were just really that shit.

I was kinda glad when it was all over, as I wasn't in much of a mood to play anyway, again, probably because I was tired. I dropped Mike and his brother off at home first, and then Phil and James. Found out James is a tax accountant, so that may come in handy in the future.

I went to get petrol and then did a bit of grocery shopping in the Wick, then went home.

Bogo sheepoyo

So I was googling how to say "I love you" in Korean (sarang mae) and came across how to say "I miss you" in Korean. I then got the idea to send it to her as a text.

Me @ 18:48 - Bogo sheepoyo :)

I wasn't really expecting a reply, and didn't care if there wasn't one. I guess seeing her in person has convinced me she likes me enough, and that ignoring my text didn't really mean anything.

To my surprise, she replied instantly.

Naby @ 18:49 - How a u honey? Ms too.. :)

I didn't really want to get into a long conversation back and forth.

Me @ 18:49 - I'm good, don't work too hard =)

Naby @ 18:52 - Yeah.. What a u doing? Did u have dinner?

Me @ 18:52 - Not yet, I will eat soon...have you eaten?

No reply, but no worries, I think my phone is fucked up. It's saying I'm low on memory so maybe the message hasn't come through yet.

Ah, happy man.

Happiness

I just came back from the courts earlier. I started shooting my threes, and after 10, I was asked by that Damian guy I met last Sunday for a game of two on two. He grabbed another guy called Yung from another court.

I had seen them shooting around earlier, and Damina's friend was a big guy called Michael. I thought he looked like a prick.

Anyway, the teams were me and Michael. My shot was really on, and the pick and roll with Michael worked so well we scored like six points in a row, and won like 11-1. Fuck.

We later played three on three and then four on four. I was on Michael's team most of the time, except a few games where he sat out, and I realised he was actually quite a funny guy. He joked around a lot, his hair was funny in a blown out way, and his clumsy moves were also funny.

My shot was really, really on today, so much that the Yung guy kept trying really hard to block me, and everyone was saying how accurate I was, comparing me to Rip Hamilton adn Steve Kerr. I thought Yung was a bit jealous, as he played fairly hard and I even copped his elbow in the nose at one stage, but I shook it off as an accident.

Also during a break, I managed to touch the ring!!! Sure, the ring was bent down a bit, but still, it wasn't bad for a surgically repaired knee.

At a few junctures during the games, when I was really tired, I kinda took a moment to enjoy the experience. I was having lots of fun, because Michael was funny, we were winning, and my shot was falling. This is what life, for me, is about. I wish I could do this everyday. Not only were we winning, but we were having so much fun doing it. A guy on the other team got pissed at his own team every time we scored, and it was kinda fun to see his frustration. Even though we had just me (apart from Damian) I felt we had good chemistry.

They all left for lunch, and then I headed home. I thought about how great of a time this was for me. I'd gone from red to black, I saw Naby last night, and I touched the ring today. Oh how my life has turned around since my gambling days.

From red...to black

So Thursday finally marked the day where my assets exceeded my debts...by $19. Which means I've finally gone from red to black! If I were to sell all my shares, that together with the money I have in my savings would be enough to pay off my credit card debt - woohoo!

And I just checked my interest earned.

Financial year ending 2009 - $41.10
Financial year ending 2010 - $14.24
Financial year to date - $43.49

So as you can see, in 2009 my gambling problem hadn't really flurried, but by 2010 it obviously had. Now that I've been gamble free for more than 10 months, I've already surpassed my 2009 high, and there's still June to go!

I love you?

Got to work at 8:30am, mainly because I had nothing better to do. I thought I could get a peaceful start by doing my banking, and finish writing up yesterday's files. I also decided to go 'farewell' Melanie, by taking a lemon tea drink to her.

I went to her room, gave it to her and asked her if she had found something else. She asked me to close the door because Paul sits next door and it was awkward. I felt a little privileged that she was willing to discuss with me something clandestine, but at the same time, I wondered how it would reflect on me if Paul saw us.

She asked if I had heard about the SLO round, and I said no. She said she made the e-list, and at first I thought that was good. But then she said she'd been in her position for three years, so to put her on the e-list now was basically demoting her. I understood. I also realised at that moment that she just wanted to let out some steam with me, rather than considering me a close friend to share a secret with.

I tried to play the good guy by asking if she should find something first before leaving. She said there was no law against it (which I thought was strange) and then said she had a roof over her head and could survive for about six months without work.

We then heard a knock on the door and it was Mary. She said she was after me, because Jacqueline had been looking for me. It sounded like trouble, but Mary has her way of being nice about everything. I said bye to Melanie and said I'd try to make her drinks tonight.

Mary said a fresh matter was in court today which was related to one of my matters. We had it sorted out, with the great help of Alex, and it was like a bomb defused, but in reality, Jacqueline had just made a fuss about nothing.

So it was a bit more peaceful after that, as I finished writing up yesterday's files and then I decided to go down to see Maria. I saw on the whiteboard that she was on level 7, presumably for her interview, but I figured it had been too long and she had just forgotten to change it.

So I went down with my last lemon tea and luckily she was in her room. First things I noticed were that her room was dark as a light had gone out, and her computer had been positioned closer to the door, but against the wall, which was unusual.

She seemed glad to see me as I gave her the lemon tea. She asked me how my list was and I said it was ok. I asked her how her matter was on Wednesday, and she said the court did open at 9:30am, but her def didn't show up. I asked if she hung around afterwards, and she was like "there's nothing to do there" lol.

She said she also had to get back as she had her interview today, and then asked me how mine went. I said I left thinking I could've answered some questions better. We were then interrupted by Junar, who said she was coming to my branch next week, instead of Yoshi. Wow, developments. She said she wondered who her supervisor would be, and I said we were running out as Sarah had left and now Melanie was leaving. She said maybe I could be her supervisor and I instinctively said "I hope not". They both laughed and Junar was like "you know, you say that so naturally".

That seemed like a good moment to leave, so I did. Hmmm.

For lunch, I really felt like KFC, and was this close to going, but in the end, I figured I might as well finish off the bread I had and save some money. So I stayed in the office and had my soup.

Earlier in the day, Bryony had seen me in my wasitcoat and said I looked smart in it. Then Mary said I looked "dapper". I didn't know what it meant but I took it as good. Bryony said I looked like a waiter and I laughed, thinking I resembled my dad too much. They joked about me putting a hat on, and I said I could be Oddjob, lol.

Trent had also made a comment about my wasitcoat, saying I looked good in it. I wasn't used to all the attention, but I guess this is the first time they'd seen me wear it, whereas level 10 was used to it.

I pretty much bludged for the rest of the day, doing minor things, not knowing what I should be doing. Something did come up at the end of the day, and it was unfortunate that neither Mary nor Imad were around, so I had to go ask Trent. To his credit, he did attempt to help me, and I started having a different view of him.

We all pretty much had an early day, as we are changing computers and had to shut off at 4pm. Ogre, Melanie, Christina, Bryony and I headed down to the pub for drinks.

Ogre bought me a lemonade, and then we all stood around talking. I ended up talking to Bryony and Ogre, and I found that Bryony seemed to have this thing where she liked to imitate little kids in a comedy show. Hmmm.

Odgen also arrived, and I ended up talking to her for a while. The good thing about her is that she can talk non-stop, so if I ever feel isolated in a group setting, I can just go to her.

Then I noticed Erin, Amy and Alanna also arrived, but they were at the other end of the table. I kept trying to think of an excuse to go talk to Alanna, since she was afterall my supervisor. Caroline then arrived, and I didn't want to leave straight away because it'd seem rude.

Ogre left, so it was just us three talking for a while before I excused myself saying I needed to get a drink. I spoke to Alanna at the bar where she had already bought her drinks, and she asked me to go over to her when I got my drink. I got my lemonade and joined her and Christina.

Initially we talked about her work and our work, then we talked about how to handle DS (stay out of his way, keep things short). Then they spent the rest of the time talking about weddings and stuff. I had been standing there during the night feeling a bit toey, and was mentally debating whether I should go to a shop, see Naby, or just get some KFC and go home.

I was glad when people suggested leaving at 6:30pm. I think some of them were heading to another venue, but Alanna and I went our own separate ways.

I found myself walking towards the bus stop where the bus to Naby's suburb could be caught. When I got there, I thought if a bus came right at that moment, I'd get on. The only thought going against me was the thought of leaving the shop and walking in the cold, feeling like they had just taken my money and chucked me out.

A few buses arrived, but they weren't the right ones. I paced back and forth, almost like I was back at the casino again, pondering whether to go gambling or not. I really felt like an addiction had taken over.

Soon, another bus came, which was the right one. I got on, telling myself that it wasn't too late - if Naby wasn't working, all bets were off.

When I got off the bus, I walked a short distance to get away from the crowd and made my call. I asked if Bibi was working tonight, and the usual guy said yes. I made a booking for an hour, saying I'd be there in 20 minutes.

About 10 minutes later, after having walked there and gone to the ATM, I arrived at the shop. I was careful not to look up at the camera, and earlier when going to the ATM, I had kept a lookout for surveillance.

The usual guy opened the door but didn't seem as happy as usual to see me. Well, not straight away anyway, but he seemed to warm up a bit and asked me how I was. I went to the counter and said I had a booking, and he said "Bibi?" and I said yeah, and was about to pay him but he directed me to the waiting room.

I went there and asked how much, and he said $270. I paid him then went to the bathroom. I heard him yell "Bibi working". I returned to the waiting room where I saw him sitting at the counter. He asked if I wanted a drink and I said no. I think I heard Naby's voice talking to him, and I think I heard my name being mentioned.

He then called for me and I stood up and walked out, to see Naby standing there. I nodded to her as she went to the bottom of the stairs and held my hand. As usual, she held it against her bum as she led me upstairs.

We didn't say much until we got into the room. I asked if she missed me, and she said something along the lines of yes. We pecked on the lips before she went out again. I sat on the bed and started taking off my shoes when she returned. I asked if she was tired, and she said no. Obviously she knew if she said yes, there'd be no sex.

As I was taking off my shoes, I was bent down and asked "did you get my message?" and she said yes, but she was sleeping. I thought that was a bit weak, but then again, she could've just lied and said no.

I touched her back and she said my hand was cold. I deliberately did it again and she playfully hit me, lol, but it was pretty hard.

I took off my clothes and she did the same. I held my hands close to the candle to warm them up, and she pretended to push them into the fire, before we went to the shower. It was a bit awkward to me, because it seemed like we hadn't done this for so long. While she was on her knees cleaning me, I was telling her how I'd just finished a big case, and thought about how weird it was that I was telling her that in the position that she was in. She had her hair tied up, and a grey ribbon hair clip, but I noticed that she actually wasn't really that good looking. Maybe having seen her for a year is making me 'bored'. We did kiss on the lips a bit, and towards the end of the shower, I played with her nipples and she pretended to cover them, then splashed me with water. I dried myself first, and then when she finished, I helped dry her back. She asked me if it was cold outside. I said no, it was hot. She was like "really?" and I said yeah, it was like a fire, and then she knew I was being sarcastic and laughed and said no.

She placed my hands on her breasts as I walked from behind and she led me to the bed. We both sat down and naturally fell lying down. I got on top of her and kissed her, then her breasts. She started moaning fairly loudly as I licked and sucked on her nipples. She really moaned a lot, and I was tempted to think that I was the cause of it.

I did that for a while and sometimes would lightly thrust towards her, wondering if she'd object to not using a condom. Her hand held me so I guess that was her way of preventing it.

I moved my kisses down her body and she giggled as I passed her tummy. I went down on her and spent a bit of time there. At first there were soft moans, but as I shifted and positioned myself better and got her to raise her hips, I got better access and made her moan louder. I noticed that when I sucked on it, she would squirm and squeeze her legs around my head.

After a while I moved back up. She put the condom on and pulled me in, but I kept teasing her by pulling back, until she realised what I was doing and made a face, then I entered her. We started doing it for a while as she moaned my name repeatedly, but I was a bit distracted. I think her ignoring my text really put me off. Otherwise, it was a pretty hot session and we both seemed to be into it, as she moaned my name again and again.

I asked if she wanted to switch, and she said yes. She got on top, and started sliding up and down, but then started grinding back and forth against me. She did this for a while, and seriously it started hurting me, but I thought I'd just put up with it. When she started bouncing again, I finished, and she did that thing where she stays on top for a while, pretending to enjoy my orgasm,, her eyes even rolled back into her head. She leaned down to kiss me and then got off me. She held the condom towards me, and I said "you", and she said "no you" and I said "I have lots" and she laughed.

She put it away and I shifted over and she laid beside me, placing a couple of towels on top of us to keep us warm. I looked in the mirror and thought it was actually quite a sexy sight to see how legs entangled like that. We held eachother for a bit, before she said she was now going to Korea on the 8th. I said to get my phone, and she got it for me. I opened it with her there, and went to the calendar. She indicated that she'd be working on the 4th of June, but then would have days off until she leaves on the 8th. I asked when she was returning, and she asked me to switch to July, and said maybe 9th or 10th. I repeated it, and she said she'd send me a message when she gets back.

I remember feeling the vibe that she was offering more information than necessary, and it made me feel dumb to be insecure about her not replying to my text. If anything, this was pretty good proof that she liked me. I also felt good in that we finally seemed to be able to get some conversation going, as I was afraid that all we had was sex.

I returned to the month of June, and went to the 11th, saying I'd come. She said she'd be away, before she realised what I meant. I said I'd come to shop, and she twisted my left nipple. I went to the 18th and repeated it, and she twisted my right nipple. I went to the 25th but then dropped my phone in between us as I laughed and inadvertently snorted, lol.

I said I was joking, and went through those Saturdays again and said I'd be a good boy for each of them.

I then went to my contacts and went to her name. I said I didn't like Bibi and asked what her name was. She spelt it for me as I typed - Hyejung. I was a little surprised at her having no reluctance in telling me.

I asked her if she had spoken to her mother and she said yes. I asked if she was well, and she said yes. I then remembered - I asked if she would get me a present in Korea because she was missing my birthday. She said yes.

I said she needed to eat more as she was way too skinny. I felt how skinny she was by rubbing her sides and looking at her legs (also, the other thing is, her implants have really ruined the feel of her breasts - on the side it's as hard as a rock, just so unnatural). She said she ate a lot but could not gain weight. I said I'd take her to Hungry Jacks and buy her 20 burgers and make her eat all of them. I then asked her to flex her arm and she did, lol.

She asked if my work had been hard, and I said yes. I laughed and told her about my case where the guy swallowed 160 balloons.

She said on Thursday she had slept from 9pm to 6am today. I wondered if she was trying to see if it was me who called her this morning. Or maybe she was trying to justify why she didn't reply to my message - which doesn't add up since I sent it before 9pm anyway.

I said at one stage (not sure when) that initially it wasn't supposed to be her. That I was shown a girl who was angry, and who the guy had to plead with to be shown. I of course didn't pick her and said I'd wait 15 minutes. She didn't really say anything in response, but asked why she was angry, and I said I didn't know.

She said when she returns from Korea, she might be studying on weekdays, and working maybe Wednesdays and weekends. I said it was good, but she said it was a maybe, and that she'd see. I wondered how much of that had to do with visa issues. I said I could teach her English, if she would teach me Korean. I pointed to the painting and said "painting", and she said it was the same in Korean (well done mate). I then said lemon was the same as well, and she said "ramon is noodles" and I had to say lemon, not ramon, and she understood. I asked her what she wanted to learn, and she said something in Korean, and I asked what that was. She said "I love you".

...................................

Did she mean that?

I drew on her back "I [heart] U", and then realised she was drawing on my back. It was short, maybe three letters like what I had done, but I wasn't sure what it was.

We then went to sleep facing eachother and with our legs tangled up. I wasn't asleep, but I think she was. She was initially feeling my face, then my ear, then I think she fell asleep when her finger dropped to my lips.

After a long time, I heard her buzzer go off, and then the room buzzer go. She didn't move. It was only after a while that she moved to turn off her buzzer. I heard the room buzzer go off again. I don't think I'd ever been given the second buzzer. She didn't seem to be in a hurry, and said she wanted to sleep. I told her to finish work, she said "go home?" and I said yes.

I went to the shower and began showering. I asked her to join in case the hot water ran out. Sure enough, it started going cold by the time she arrived. I felt bad for using up the hot water but she said it was just from time to time. She said it was cold, but then managed to get the hot water running. I said "sorry Naby" but she was ok. I got changed as she showered. I wondered if that was selfish of me and gave her the towel when she finished.

As I put my shoes on, I realised I was probably blocking her shoes even though she was busy with something else. I moved her shoes towards her and noticed they were Prada. Wow, so she obviously had money, but why spend it wearing it here?

I finished with my shoes and then stood up. She wanted to kiss and I pulled back a few times before finally going to kiss her. She thought that was it but I went in for more kisses. As she walked out, she asked if I was going home, and I muttered "next shop". Not sure if she heard but I didn't get a reaction, so I caught up to her and rubbed her sides saying "just joking", and she gigled out loud. As I walked down the stairs I heard a bunch of guys burst out laughing, and I did not like the thought of Naby having to go with them. I saw the other girls lined up ready to be shown. Naby said good night as I walked past the girls and out into the cold.

I went to get KFC in the city and brought it home to eat, although it got pretty much cold waiting for the friggin' bus to arrive.

Yeboseyo?

I know I shouldn't have. But I rolled and mulled around in bed, telling myself I didn't hear my message tone all throughout the night. How could I know if I'd been sleeping? Yeah I know, but I just don't remember hearing it.

So I got out of bed, went to my landline, and called her mobile. Within a couple of rings, I heard her familiar voice.

Yeboseyo? Yeboseyo? Yeboseyo? Yeboseyo? Yeboseyo?

I didn't say anything. At that time, it was clear to me she had gotten my message.

But as I showered, I still told myself of other possibilities - maybe she didn't get it? Maybe she doesn't have credit? I doubt girls like her would be on a contract.

Part of me has said "fuck it, don't see her on Saturday and save some money", but I think I'll still go. Maybe I'll raise it, or maybe I'll see if she raises it. Maybe there's a good explanation.

But this should serve as a stern reminder: money is your only friend.

The Maitland list / movements and changes

So I had the Maitland list today. Fortunately, I had enough willpower to get out of bed at 5:30am and get ready to leave. Plan was actually to leave at 5:30am because I needed to buy breakfast, but I figured I could get there by 10am at the latest.

I drove to Chinksford to withdraw money, then went to Macca's to get my usual breakfast combo. Still can't believe I'm paying $1.65 for a piece of fucking potato.

Then I started on my long road trip. I had my window up because it was cold/raining, which I usually don't do, to keep myself awake. But I guess the music was enough to keep me awake.

I had no problems during the trip, got there kinda early too, at like 8:40am, so in the car park I just rested my eyes and thought about the day ahead. At about 9:15am I went to the bathroom and then went back to my car to get the suitcase. I then headed off to court, thinking it was gonna start at 10am and I'd just sit around.

To my surprise, the doors were open when I got there, and there were people already inside. I calmly walked to the bar and jokingly asked the PP if I could "set up camp there". I opened up my suitcase and people started coming up to me for their matters. After a short while, the mag came on.

She did the AVO matters first, so I sat there for about 30 minutes with nothing to do, then knocked about eight of my matters down quickly, and then the rest steadily. At one point I thought I might be able to get away before lunch, but nope.

During lunch I went to get a hotdog which wasn't so good, and decided on a coke since I hadn't had one for ages. I sat on a bench in the mall looking at jewellery. After finishing the hot dog, I took a closer look to see if there was anything suitable for Naby. Nope. I remember seeing a nice silver bracelet for about $300 which I thought was a good idea - hope I can find that again.

I threw away the coke after a few sips. I found that I didn't really like it. Surprising.

I took a walk around and bought some lollies to take back to the office and put them in my car before returning to court.

I didn't even realise the mag was there as I approached the bar until she said my name. I apologised and she said it was ok, that she was early. We did a few of my matters, then she did some custodies, then finished off my matters where people hadn't attended. I was the only one left at the bar and it was kinda awkward. I mean, I couldn't really say "seeya" even though right at the end I ended up saying "see you" quietly - fucking idiot. I thought about saying what a pleasant list it was, but didn't want to sound corny. I'm sure she could tell I was just socially awkward.

Speaking of socially awkward, I saw Spawn yesterday when I went to get a Subway. He was with a work person or something. He seemed glad to see me, and seemed a bit more 'on to it' socially, which was good to see. But still, he was kinda boring and I said I'd "let him go" after a short chat.

Anyway, I went to the post office to pay a bill, then started the road trip back. I was going pretty fast, about 130km/h for the first half of the trip. I made good time, but all that was offset by being stuck in traffic once I got to the city. I filled the car up with petrol and arrived at the office at about 6:15pm.

I checked my emails and was surprised to see Melanie sent one around saying she had resigned and mid-June will be her final days. That was really surprising. To me, in her own quiet way, she seemed happy to be there, but who knows. I wonder why, and where she'll be going.

So there's going to be some "movements and changes" as DS likes to put it. Earlier this week we were informed that Yoshi and Clare B would be coming to our branch for two months (really, two months, why bother?), and now Melanie was leaving. That leaves two SLO positions vacant, and instead of doing the sensible thing of promoting Moira or I, they're gonna bring in someone who doesn't know anything about our job. Welcome to government jobs.

But at least, it shows that if I stay long enough, opportunities will arise, although I do wonder who the next to leave will be. I can't picture Christina leaving - she gets off on putting people in jail. Trent needs the protection of his daddy here. Melissa doesn't seem to mind the public service ways. Hmmm.

Anyway, I had promised myself that, this being three weeks since I last saw Naby, I'd treat myself by texting her, especially after such a long list day. It was my reward.

I texted the guys about a movie tomorrow, and then sent a text to Naby:

Me @ 18:54 - Naby...thinking of you...how are you?

Assuming she would reply, I'd planned to say that I'd see her on Saturday and would ask if she wanted me to bring her any food. She'd say no and I'd bring some chocolates anyway.

Needless to say, I thereafter checked my phone basically every five minutes, and everytime I saw nothing there, it hurt a little bit more.

Emotionally, it affected me. I had built up a fair bit of an appetite having driven for so long, but now I didn't feel like eating anything at all. I actually felt motivated to get depressed again and throw everything away at the casino.

But logically, I was telling myself that there could be a myriad of reasons why she didn't reply. Maybe she was working. Maybe she forgot her phone. Maybe she's out of credit. Maybe she's changed numbers. Should it really deter you from seeing her on Saturday? Last time it happened there was a perfectly good (and true) explanation. At the end of the day, I really can't see her just ignoring my message, she seems to treat me pretty nice. But I guess I'll see on Saturday.

The ever elusive question...

So I found a new forum last night and just had a look at it now. I found the sub-forum for Naby's shop. I don't know whether I want to see a review on her or not. I don't because of natural instincts - I'd feel my blood boil. I do because I want to know whether the way she treats me is the same way she treats other guys.

There were a couple of threads where when I first started reading I thought "shit, this might be her", but nope. The first thread I realised was just after my surgery, and we know she went back to Korea just before my surgery (unless she was lying but don't know why she'd do this). The second thread, a guy said she gave such good gfe, that he and his two mates almost fell in love with her. Surely this must be her. But then later he says she has a tattoo on her lower back, and Naby has no tattoo.

So, the ever elusive question still cannot be answered...

Maria enters the room...

Caught the bus to work today. Nothing to eat at home, so had to buy breakfast. It was close to 9am, and I didn't feel like Macca's or Breadtop anyway, so I ended up buying a loaf of bread and making toast in the office. Figured I'd save some money as well.

I spent the first half of the day sitting idly at my desk not knowing what to do. I didn't go out to lunch, but stayed in and had soup with bread. I know, I said I was bored of it, but today I found myself being bored of anything else I could think of. So boredom rules out boredom I suppose.

After lunch I decided I'd work on replying to a letter sent about 13 days ago, which required me to go through the whole brief, so that kept me busy. Whilst I was listening to and reading through the interview, several people came by to give me their files for Thursday's list.

One of them was Maria. I was kinda surprised. I guess I'd just figured she'd send it via the internal mail. She said I had made detailed notes on the file from last time. I took the file and had a look at it, and found on the back of the instructions sheet I had set out all the charges and how it was breached. Damn, this is one instance where hard work pays off.

She said "you are so Asian", pointing to the lemon tea drink I had on my desk and my lucky cats. She also noticed my certificates had been framed, and then talked about the plant on my desk.

I said I knew she was going to Maitland tomorrow with a slight grin on my face. She asked how I knew and I said I had my sources. I felt like telling her to learn to drive, but then figured it might sound kinda cruel, and I also kinda liked how she wasn't so skilled.

We talked a bit, and I noticed she had her arms crossed, so she either didn't like me or was nervous.

After she left, I kinda thought "did that really happen?" but then told myself not to over-think it. She's a colleague, and it wouldn't be worth it (see: Katie).

I also thought about the possibility that maybe she was just being nice to me because she saw me as being in a superior position. First, I'm not. Technically we're in the same position, but unofficially, everyone knows I've got more experience. Secondly, you know how sometimes you see people being real nice to their superiors? Maybe she was doing just that, and meant nothing more.

I stayed in the office until 6:30pm-ish going through the brief, although if I had started from the beginning of the day I would've finished it much earlier. DS came in at one stage to ask if I was applying for both LO positions, saying he had forgotten and joked how realiable that was. Hmmm.

When I left work it was raining, but luckily I wasn't wearing my nice suit so I didn't mind.

Naby
My current Naby status is...I'm not really missing her too much. I'm actually at that borderline point where I could picture myself envisaging not ever seeing her again. Read that again and notice how distant I made that thought process. It's deliberate. I'm not saying I'm envisaging not ever seeing her again - I'm just saying I could picture myself envisaging not ever seeing her again.

At the same time, I think I've come to the conclusion that she is being somewhat genuine with me. Or at the very least, she's not out to rip me off and take me for every cent. I mean, if she was like that, I reckon she'd be initiating messages asking me to see her more often or even asking for gifts.

But she only seems to reciprocate, as opposed to initiate. Sure, that may mean low interest, but again, at least she's not trying to rip you off. And having established that she's not trying to rip you off, the fact that she said she sometimes thinks about me, shows that it's genuine, since we've eliminated the possibility that she's trying to rip me off. Capisce?

Delusional

I walked to work this morning, even though I left home at 8am, which was kinda late for my standards, but it's just so hard to wake up in winter. I always find these walks to be quite peaceful, but at the same time I'm listening to some really angry rap songs which pumps me up. So much anger flows through my veins.

My lack of work pretty much continued on from last week, although I did manage to keep myself occupied in the first half of the day by preparing instructions in some upcoming matters.

At lunch, I went to the gym. I had to go to the gay one because last week I went there to request a receipt so I can make a health benefit claim from work. Seeing as last time from the Wick it took about six weeks to get it, I wasn't very confident it'd be ready, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway.

I jogged to the gym and then did the incline bench, curls and then worked on my abs. I'm still trying to get back into it, so it was only a light workout. I just hope I don't wake up tomorrow with shoulder pain.

After I got my back from the locker room I went to the reception desk. It was a different guy this time, who appeared to be trying to print it off for me there and then, but after he while he asked if I was coming back today, and when I said Wednesday, he said he'd have it for me then.

Well, that's what the other guy said last Monday.

I just thanked him and left. How hard really is it to print off my records???

I bought a six pack of Chinese drinks and then a box of sushi for lunch. I think I'm a little tired of bread and soup.

Late in the day, I was watching a boring video in a matter when Mary knocked on my door and came in. She asked if I wanted a new matter to assess - it was one the nature of which was Naby's line of work. Like always, I said yes, but I was stirring my brain to think if this involved Naby's shop. I could only imagine the implications and complications if this was Naby's shop.

She emailed me the matter and I had a quick look at some of the documents. Luckily, it wasn't Naby's shop. Nevertheless, I was intrigued enough to stay back and read it. I noticed the boss was still in, so I thought it was a good way to make a positive impression.

Reading through the girls' experience, I kept relating it to Naby and wondered how similar her situation was to theirs. Was there debt bondage? Sexual servitude? Threats to her family? Or was she really just a girl who wanted to make some (lots) of easy money?

From reading the girls' experiences, I could see that they too had 'boyfriends' they met through work, who were initially their customers. So it definitely wasn't unusual. One even had a boyfriend overseas and a boyfriend she met as a customer. I wondered how close I was to becoming that person.

Also, I kept wondering how my current situaiton would involve my work, if ever. I'm pretty sure it's not illegal, yet at the same time, I'm pretty sure I'd get fired. Or at the very least, humiliated enough to quit. Was I getting too close? Too involved? Should I step away and forget about her? How will this end? Will this eventually come to light? How? Via the police?

I was torn inside. I wanted to message her because I felt so much sympathy for these working girls, yet my logical mind was telling me to minimise any records of whatever it is we have.

I had initially planned to walk home, but by 5:30pm it was already very dark. I left work at 5:50pm and went for a walk towards KFC. I bought three wicked wings and ate it, feeling somewhat isolated. Part of me craved for a 'normal' girlfriend, yet another larger part wanted Naby...I wanted her to be my normal girlfriend.

I remember earlier in the day, I had been in a conversation with Mary and Steve about a case Mary had, where a guy was obsessed with an internet model and thought he was going to marry her. Clearly delusional, he was.

Now I found myself questioning myself: was I delusional to think anything sensible could eventuate with Naby?

Knee
I haven't given a knee update in a very long time, which I suppose in itself is a good sign that everything's A-OK.

Sometimes when I'm sitting down typing my shoelace, I'll notice a white patch where my scar is supposed to be. It has healed so well that no scar is visible, however, the white seems to come from the skin being newly grown, and the hair there is very minute, so it clearly requires time to grow.

In terms of feeling, I have gotten a lot back, but the front part of my leg still lacks some feeling. It's pretty amazing to think I've been playing all this time without any feeling in that part of my leg.

I don't seem to have a problem with it during basketball, but sometimes after games, it does feel especially tired. I keep having nightmare visions of something causing my leg to snap sideways - it is a horrible thought.

Lately, I've noticed that sometimes when I get up from a seated position, my knee feels a bit wobbly and it needs to click back into place.

I would like to take it slow this season, and if I can go through this season without any incidents, then I will be more confident next season.

Newtown lunch

On Saturday my plan was to go work on my threes before meeting the team at the courts at 10am for training. But alas, I couldn't wake up early enough, and I got to the courts at 9am.

I was just warming up when I saw a tall figure from a distance. I thought it might be Nick, and when he got closer I realised it was him. It was good to see he was enthusiastic enough to come to training early.

We talked a bit as we shot around, and then I got him to work on his post up hook shot, with me defending him. I had been a bit hesitant in taking this step, particularly since earlier he said he didn't like Phil telling him what to do, but I guess that was because Phil is the worst guy on the team and isn't really considered a 'proper' basketball player.

He also told me how he had spoken to Angelo after Wednesday, and Angelo was upset that Phil: 1) turned up late to the game; and 2) got fouled out. It was really only after the game that I wondered how Phil managed to get fouled out even after coming late. I think I picked up only two fouls.

By the way, for the last two games I've worn number eight wearing the bib, and I've played better, so maybe being reunited with my number is a good thing.

Anyway, back to training with Nick. I really tried to teach him my post up, drive to the middle with a jump stop and mini-hook shot move, which I think he got the hang of later. I indicated that at a later stage he should start working on his left, and he seemed to be against that.

Later Phil arrived. I felt kinda bad, because initially he said he didn't want to come due to his leg hurting from Wednesday, and I asked him to come anyway because we'd have quite a few people. Now, it was just us three.

I had Nick work on that post move against Phil, and made him do it ten times, then ten times against me. He said it felt better, and that he just needed repetition.

The three of us also went through the play that Colin taught us the first time we met. It seemed to work ok, I just wished the whole team was there to go through it. We also worked on fast breaks and the three man weave a bit.

Any was supposed to come, but he said he was coming from the markets or something. Then by 11am, we called it stumps and I messaged Any, and it sounded like from his reply he was still at home.

I walked off into the distance across the cricket field, somewhat glad that the three of us had at least a productive training session.

In the afternoon, I had intended to go vacuum the car and go out and buy some Pringles (since they were two for $5), but when I got to the car, I realised my dad had already taken it to the dealer for a wash, so I just went for a drive to the sea side, picturing taking Naby there one day, and then went to the Wick to get the Pringles.

Today
Plan was to get to the courts at 7am and finish off my threes then meet A for swimming.

Reality: I woke up at 7:45am, and figured I'd need to leave at 8:30am to meet A anyway, so scrapped that.

I met A as usual for swimming, and we talked about budgets and stuff. All lanes were full, so we had to split lanes. I went into one with a lady swimming up and down. I thought she was going at a fairly fast speed, but thought maybe I could sorta keep up. Although I kept pace for the first three to four laps, I needed a rest after that, and was remarkably slower from then on.

What made it worse was that towards the end, a third person entered, so now I had to keep up to speed with two people. I really thought about quitting, but struggled and finished my last two laps to complete my ten. I was so glad when I got out. I watched as A finished his laps, and we sat and talked a bit before going to change.

He drove me home as usual, and then after a short rest, I went out to the courts. I wanted to finish off my threes, but a lot of people were there, and the ring I was at meant that my shots either went into the grass, or onto someone else's court.

So instead of resuming from the spot where I had left off, I started shooting from around the top of the key. I had made about four threes when this guy came over and asked me to play. I was secretly hoping he had come from the court where there were two girls playing, but it wasn't my luck.

His name was Dave, and on our walk to the court, we passed that father and son duo who I had played with a couple of weeks ago. They wanted in too, so they joined. Once at the court, there was another father and son duo, a short but clearly older Asian guy, and a bald white guy who couldn't really play.

We played a game, but then the son of the second duo got corked in his leg or something and had to leave after we finished the game. I'm not sure if it was me, but if it was, I surely didn't feel anything.

I played alright in that game, hitting a few bank shots. Dave kept screening for me and smiled each time I hit one.

Then in the next three on three game, I was guarding him, and he seemed to pay particular attention to everything I did. He'd tell me to shoot it, and when I missed, he'd smile at me. WTF??

I was wearing my grey/red shoes, and nearly turned my ankle when playing D, so reminded myself not to play too hard. In the end, it was Dave who hurt himself, as he chased a loose ball and tripped over the father's foot, twisting his ankle. I didn't know how to feel - good if he was wishing for me to miss my shots, and bad if he was just trying to be friendly.

He sat out from then on, and we grabbed a few guys from another court and played two full court games. I was very conscious of my knee, and played like it. But I did enjoy the running.

I left after that, walking off feeling like avoiding an injury was an achievement.

I went home, had a shower, then drove my dad to the pool. I went to pick Malay up form his place. I called, sent a message, and called, but no response. He must've been sleeping. At one point I looked up and sat a guy in a mini-van looking at me. I looked at him and then looked away, thinking maybe he wanted my parking spot or something.

Then he called out my name. I looked again and it was George Papa! Wow, I got out of my car and went over to have a chat with him. It was a pleasant surprise to see him. He largely looked the same, but maybe just a little bit less hair at the front.

He said he'd been doing a lot of things over the years - he'd been a chef, a bartender, a real estate agent, and now he was a strata manager. He seemed to be doing alright, having an investment property near where I live. Again, it made me realise how much time and money I'd wasted by gambling.

After a while we parted, and then I decided to go pick Brain up instead. So I picked him up, and we talked about winning the lotto. Malay called so we picked him up, and we drove to Newtown.

They showed me a new way to get there, which in hindsight should be quicker due to less traffic congestion. We drove past Naby's shop, and I swear, it was a weird feeling. It was almost as if it'd be normal for me to go in. I was also conscious that maybe she'd be around (it was 2pm) and she'd see me driving.

We parked near Franklins and walked around a bit. We checked our lotto ticket, but didn't win anything. As Brain lined up, Malay waited outside. I initially went to wait with Brain, thinking what if we'd won but he decided not to tell us. Then I told myself to stop being so insecure and walked away leaving him there by himself.

We walked around a bit more before settling for an Indian restaurant. The food was quite nice, but I was very full afterwards. We talked about the usual stuff. I liked how Malay was able to guess who I was referring to in my fb status update which said "wow, one of my friends is really dumb" - referring to G, whose profile picture currently is of him lying down on the railway tracks.

We walked around a bit before returning to the car. I dropped Malay off as he had work, and then we went to pick up Shuing. G met us at Chinksford, and we ended up having coffee at Gloria Jeans.

I felt sorry for G, because from the start, it was like we had planned to interrogate him about Sally, when in fact Shuing just wanted to question him about her. It really did feel like cross-examination.

After that we talked about Ele, Amanda, Sally again, and basically anyone. I find it funny that Shuing can have such an interest in people who he has never met, or who he has met only once or twice.

Also, the vibe when Shuing around is suddenly tense. We all have to watch what we say, and he gets defensive very easily. It's like I have to avoid debating with him.

We stayed there until 7pm, when I suggested we leave. I dropped Shuing off first, then Brain. Then I went to the office to switch work shirts, and then went to get some petrol.

Ah, the weekend goes by too fast.

Naby
I can afford to see Naby this coming Saturday!!! I must admit, maybe it's because we haven't had sex for a while and so the chemical reaction isn't there, but I haven't missed her as much during this period of absence as the last period of absence. Even for a split second while I was driving home, I queried whether I should even continue seeing her, or whether I should start seeing someone else.

But now that I'm home, I've begun to wonder if I should text her. Now would be too soon, but maybe tomorrow? Or Thursday when I finish my list. Hmmm. I miss her.

2-4 / Wax!!!

I haven't had court all this week and won't be tomorrow either, so work has been pretty cruisy. I've actually returned a bit to that "hmmm, what the hell can I do for the next 8 hours" state. Today I busied myself watching videos of interviews and CCTV footage.

Yesterday after work I was to meet Phil and Any at Town Hall. Where I waited there was a line of people waiting to go into the hall for something. The queue started covering me and I was sure neither Phil nor Any would be able to see me. There was a volunteer chick organising the queue who I thought was kinda cute, and she kinda looked at me a few times but I didn't say anything.

Phil called and said he had to finish something at work and that he'd meet me at the courts. Then Any called saying he was nearby, and then he saw me. Recently I'd been wondering, what if he actually didn't want to play with us, and that money was just an excuse? Doesn't that mean that by paying for him, we basically forced him to play for us? So I tried to detect any reluctance from him tonight.

On the train there we talked a bit about his life so far in Sydney, the NBA and our basketball team. He seemed a bit quiet on the train, but was more talkative once we got off.

At the court, we saw Nick already there. He said white Mike wasn't coming because he was sick, and I just received a message from Abi saying he couldn't make it because he just finished work. Phil also called saying he was at Town Hall, but said he didn't have his shoes. Mike was also sick and Bo was at a work dinner.

So when game time started, it was Nick, Any, Angelo and me. Great, welcome back to the good ole' days of struggling to get five every night.

We played the Lizards, a team full of big tall but old guys. It was a sure win for us if we had a full team. But now, not so sure.

We started the game off ok, even though we were trailing by eight most of the time. When I saw Phil arrive, he was standing at the wrong bench. I pointed him to our bench, and he asked where everyone was. I didn't have time to explain, and pointed again to our bench. I called time out to give him time, but then he said he didn't have his shoes. Any said to give him my other pair which I had used to walk there.

I said to myself, this is why I don't like rookies now, because they make rookie mistakes, like forgetting to bring their shoes.

He put my shoes on and seemed to fiddle around with them. I was glad when he came on so we were at full strength - sorta.

Nick made some really good plays, most notable his numerous blocks. They were good, clean blocks made in mid-air, one which I caught from the best angle as he swatted it away with his left hand. The other team had a guy who was a sports journalist who was really dirty. I saw Nick fall to the floor, and the guy dropped on top of him and then thudded his elbow into Nick. Wow.

The shit thing was there was only one ref. I was pissed about that, because when we have duty and there's one ref, we have to provide a ref. So why was there only one ref now, when there were three guys at the duty table???

The ref made some pretty bad calls/non-calls, but I don't think it was because he was bad, he just couldn't see everything because he was the only ref.

I scored four points in the first half. I missed my first jumper, then hit my next. Then I got a fastbreak where I was running towards the basket. The fat guy was already by my side. I could tell a collision was coming, and my number one concern was my knee.

As I neared the basket, I ran into him with just enough force to absorb the hit yet protect my knee, and drew the foul. I quickly went to the line and did what Steve Nash always does - shoot the ball without the ball. I desperately wanted to hit them. I told myself two points right here could make a big difference. And I hit both.

At halftime, Angelo grouped us altogether and told us to stick together. I really liked that. But the second half was a totally different story. Nick yelled out "fuck!", got a tech, and that was his fifth foul. Far out.

Then after a while, Phil picked up

Beach touch footy with Ele

On Sunday morning I met up with A for swimming as he had returned from America. As usual, he was seated at the table when I got there. After some minor banter I asked him about his trip, and that pretty much dominated our conversations for the rest of the time. He was so excited to talk about America, it made me want to go there.

We had to split lanes because every lane was taken. I shared a lane with a lady who I could tell wanted to stick close by behind me to avoid crossing eachother in the middle. The only problem with that was I stopped after every three laps due to tiredness. I ended up doing ten laps altogether. I didn't feel too bad or out of it, and the water was pretty warm for winter.

A and I sat at the pool side for a while after talking about America. Then we went in to change and he kept talking about then he drove me home.

I had planned to go straight to the courts, but wanted to eat something first, and ended up bumming around on the net for a while before I finally got off my lazy ass and got to the courts at about noon. I was so eager to do my threes, I started them even though I knew I wouldn't have much time.

I got the first ten done fairly easily and then struggled a bit with the second ten. I kept telling myself I'd be late for Ele's thing but I had to finish them before I left. Finally I made my 20 and left. It can be so sweet sometimes when you have perfect form and the ball goes in exactly the right way so that it automatically comes back to you.

I had planned to drop by the office first to pick up my clothes, but then I'd really be late, so I skipped that. I went home, had a shower, and then headed off to Coogee beach.

I found parking fairly easily, but that was probably because it was kinda far away from the main beach area. Ele had called just as I arrived and she said they were at Macca's, so I walked there. Being in thongs meant it was a bit of a slow walk, and when I got there, I found no one in Macca's.

I called her as I went outside and she said they were at a cafe near Macca's, and then I saw Young's friend Samuel waving at me.

Prick.

I walked up to him and shook his hand, and he led me to the table where they were sitting. There was Young and two girls I had never seen before. I waved, said hello, and they just smiled back.

Wow, tough crowd.

Young told me to introduce myself and I said my name, and they said their names were Sandra and I can't remember the other one. I saw Ele standing in the cafe ordering something. When she saw me, that familiar smile spread across her face and she waved. When she came over, she said Sandra was from her work and I can't remember where she said the other girl was from.

I noticed that they all managed to walk away, leaving Sandra and I sitting there. Sandra kept turning to look at them, as if asking for help with the one on one situaiton - something I would've done if I was nervous. I didn't find her attractive, so I was able to make small talk with her.

I was glad when everyone came back, and we waited for a guy called Bill to arrive. He turned out to be a bald guy in glasses. Looked a little familiar but I could not be sure. We then headed to Samuel's car to get the balls and then we walked to the beach.

I noticed everyone was wearing jeans or some form of pants. Hmmm. I guess G wasn't alone when he decided to wear jeans to the beach. I noticed Ele and Young were wearing socks on the sand. More hmmm.

We passed the footy around a bit before Ele had me teach everyone how to play touch footy. Given how no one knew anything about it, I think we did a pretty good job, even though everyone was offside and shit. We played that for a while, and everyone must've thought we were all tourists or something.

I was surprised to see Jenny later arrive, and more surprised with a guy. I mean, I don't exactly keep up with her at all, but I just sorta thought she felt she was too good for any guy. Ok, so I was surprised she turned up, and the guy was a bit of a boofhead. However, I could not decide whether he was a better choice than Brain or not.

We sat around for a break, and then we went over to a vacant volleyball net to play volleyball. We were there for about five minutes before some cunts came over and said they were part of the volleyball club so they had to take over. Cunts.

That made us play badminton for a while. I had one go at it then quit, finding it too hard. This is one of the rare occasions where I didn't give a sport a go.

I sat and stood around for a while before that Jenny girl came over and started talking to me. I think she did it because she noticed I felt left out, what with everyone either playing badminton or speaking Mandarin. We exchanged some pleasantries before everyone decided to finish up.

We went to the same cafe as before for a drink. I was pretty hungry so I ordered some wedges, being happy to share. I noticed Samuel got a fair bit though, hmmm. I was happy to share with everyone except him.

Ele would occasionally pick up that I was left out of the Mandarin dialogue and translate for me what they were talking about. I couldn't helop but stare at Bill's very receded hairline. Mine is bad, but I think his is worse. Damn receding hairline genes! Damn you!!!

I was kinda glad when someone suggested leaving, cause I was getting a bit bored. I had a $50 note, and it was no split bills, so I paid and everyone paid me their share. Jenny said she calculated it to be $7.50 each, so I just took whatever money people gave me. When I returned to my car, I realised that it was a lot more than I should have...$7.50 x 8 = $60. Hmmm.

I drove back home to drop off some stuff, then drove out to the city to pick up my suit from the office and swap it with another one, since I wanted to walk to work the next day. I also got some stuff from Coles and then went home.

Thai's baby

On Saturday I went to shoot a bit of hoops in the morning before picking up Phil. To be honest, I wanted to work on my threes. Seeing how the last practice helped me shoot so efficiently on Wednesday night, I wanted more. I wanted more perfection.

But I hadn't given myself enough time, and so didn't get any threes done. I dropped my mom off at Wick and then drove out to pick up Phil. I had forgotten the route I always took when driving to uni, so I took the long path which really used up time.

I was about 10 minutes late picking him up, and then we had a bit of trouble finding the place because we didn't know the exact address, even though it was such a moumental location.

We got there and went into the basketball stadium. I was quite amazed once we were on the floor, even though it seemed like only 1/3 had been open for us. To play within an arena where there are so many seats surrounding it is pretty damn amazing. Just imagine if all the lights were on and the stadium was full.

We didn't know anyone who was shooting around so we just started shooting on one court. Soon, we started a full court game. I actually recognised one or two of the guys, but not sure if they recognised me.

After the first game, William arrived. I find him to be somewhat peculiar - he is so sociable and is always updating stuff on facebook, but it's actually quite hard to have a one on one conversation with him.

We won the first game and then lost the second. There was a guy wearing green shorts and glasses on our team who was a real fucking hog. He didn't have shooting form, so I could only assume he was shit, but he made a lot of shots. Given that, I didn't really care, but seriously, I don't think he passed it once.

After that, I switched teams because William sat out two games and I just let him take my spot. That meant I landed on another team. It was ok, at least there was a big guy. He had post up moves, but didn't really try much. The other guard was a bit of a prick. I was guarding him in earlier games and thought he looked like a girl. He was telling me where to go after I passed it to him, which I didn't understand because his English sucked.

At one point I got a steal and ran down the length of the court. The opposing guard wasn't far behind me when I got the ball and gave chase. I dashed down towards the basket, looked too many times behind at him, probably because I feared he'd catch up, but to my surprise, I out-ran him and made the layup. Wow. Maybe my legs are back.

The rest of the games were pretty ordinary. I really felt like getting another steal and running the length of the court, but never got the chance.

Afterwards, I dropped Phil back at his place. During the ride, he said I should lead the team. Hmmm. I was flattered, but I didn't want the responsibility again - maybe my selfish traits would come out again. I thought about it, which meant silence to his suggestions.

I then met Malay at his place. He came out a bit late because he was sleeping, so by then I told him I needed to give the car back to my dad by 4pm, and it was already 2pm, so we decided he'd drive. I went back to my place to park the car and changed into my pants, and then met him downstairs.

I called G and Shuing to see if they wanted to come out to get presents for Thai's baby. I was surprised that G would rather go to karaoke then see Thai's baby, but wasn't surprised he'd rather eat lunch at home than come out with us (to save money). Shuing just said he wasn't available. He's very reclusive and mysterious still, so I don't press him.

We went to pick up Brain, and then went to the shopping centre near me. We got some food from the fish and chips stall first before going to Pumpkin Patch to get something for Thai's baby. I don't know if Brain did it out of frugality or ordinary thinking, but he just got him bibs. Malay had earlier gotten him a bear suit. I got him matching gloves and shoes.

We then went to Thai's place. I swear as we went in, I was conscious of the issue as to whether we needed to take our shoes off or not, and I didn't see Brain take off his shoes, so I didn't either. But later as we were sitting there, Thai said to me to take off my shoes or else his wife would chuck a fit. Damn.

After watching some of Malay's computer files a bit too loudly, Thai's wife came out with the baby. I held it for a bit before it started crying. I noticed his wife had changed the same way Bush had changed - there was a lot of fat around the face, which aged her substantially. Damn.

She went back into her room later, returning us to more tv watching. We ended up watching a lot of movie trailers on youtube. I don't know if Thai was feeling bad about the comment he made about my hair the night before, or if it was true, but he pointed to a Chinese actor fighting and said I looked a bit like him. I could not see the resemblance, but I wish it were true. However, I also didn't see the resemblance when J once said I looked like Shawn Marion.

I was getting tired and was glad Malay suggested leaving. I could probably guess Thai's wife wasn't too impressed with us dropping by unexpectedly.

During this time, I kept thinking in my mind that I should avoid Thai's situaiton. I don't mean getting married and having a kid, but looking at him living in the back of his parents' place, in such a small room (which had now been sub-divided into three smaller rooms), I could imagine the stress it would place on his wife. I want to be financially comfortable when I start a family.

I walked home after that, thinking about it.

Job interview / Fast and Furious 5

So on Thursday I had my job interview. I had it all planned out. I got there at 9am, starting working on my sentencing matter the next day. Then I'd stop at 11am and start preparing for my job interview. BUT, I ended up going over, mainly due to things popping up here and there, and only got to start preparing at about noon.

I would get tired of reading every now and then and take a break by walking somewhere and then back to my desk. At close to 1pm, I left and went downstairs for my interview. For some reason I suspected it may have been at 1:45pm, but I thought it'd be safer to go now.

I went down feeling nervous as shit. I couldn't believe this weird feeling - feeling nervous in my own building, going for a job with my own company, being interviewed by my own boss. Government jobs are strange.

I went down to the reception area and took a seat. There was an old man waiting there. The receptionist smiled at me. I sat there like a total newbie. After waiting for a while, I went to her and asked if my interview was at 1pm. She checked and said it was at 1:45pm, and that they had gone to lunch. She apologised for not telling me, saying she thought I was there for something else.

Great, now I'll be feeling nervous for the next 45 minutes.

It was Imad's birthday, and no one seemed to be getting him a cake. Deciding I had had enough of preparing, or studying, I went out to get him a cupcake. The damn girl wouldn't even sell me a box if I bought one, so I had to buy two.

I went back and put it on his chair and wrote him an email.

I then went down to the reception area. I said to her "I can't be wrong this time". Not funny.

I sat and waited again. She had said "one of them is already in there". I then saw Paul walk by, saying it wouldn't be long. Then DS came along and said "it's my fault" lol.

I waited a bit longer, picturing them talking about me before asking me to come in. Finally, Paul opened the door and led me inside. The setting was exactly the same as the one I had when I first applied. Everyone seated with sufficient space between them, water in exquisite glasses and containers, and not a speckle of dust in sight.

Paul said there'd be five questions, and he'd start. He said the first question was easy, and he'd even answer it for me, which was "did I know there is a pros policy", well duh, and he said yes. As I looked at him, I thought "damn Mary for calling him Mr Burns, now I can't get that out of my head!"

So the real first question he asked was why is there this pros policy. The second question he asked was what I understood prima facie case to mean.

Ellen then had the next two questions, which were problem based questions. The first was what would I do if I gave work to my PLO who didn't do it. I ended up answering it like a roleplay where Ellen was my PLO, and DS joked that they didn't expect that and laughed. I noticed Paul chipping in with some questions. I can't remember her other question.

DS asked the last question, which was what would I do if I was a list officer and in a ind matter, the defence came to me saying they had a once only offer to plead in the LC. I insisted I wouldn't proceed without instructions from the guy with carriage, but they seemed to push this example very far to make it difficult for me.

When it came to me asking questions, I asked how many positions there were, which they didn't really answer. Then I said something stupid like asking not to be transferred anytime soon because I wanted to fully learn an area before moving on. Damn.

It looked like, to me, DS was covering his mouth trying not to laugh at the end. Ellen was just looking at me. My insecurities tell me they were all thinking "wow, this guy turned out to be a bimbo". Hmmm.

I went back up afterwards, had a chat with Moira about it, then worked on my matter for sentence the next day. I stayed back pretty late, till about 7pm. Kim from finance was the last to leave before me. She came to my room and told me how their finance division would be moving. I was kinda like "yeah yeah, just let me do my work", but

2-3

If there ever was a solid work day, Monday was it. I felt like I got a good variety of things done all in one day, topped off by preparing for my job interview at the end of the day. Well done.

On Tuesday I was in court for a matter. Mary had given it to me, so she had done all the negotiations beforehand. I'd heard from her and various other sources that the lady from the other side was a bit dodgy, so I was on the lookout.

I waited at court and when I saw her, I approached her and we went outside to have a chat. It became hostile as soon as I said I wasn't going to withdraw charges because she wasn't going to do what was agreed. We went back into court and our disagreement came up, only to have the mag send us back outside.

This is where it gets spicy. She started yelling at me about how unfair we were being, and I kept referring her to our letter which she had agreed to. Her eyes got wider and wider, and she said "I don't care what the letter says". I must admit, I was a bit shaken up, causing me to stutter profusely and avoid eye contact. Lucky I had my cop there. But on the other hand, I felt like punching her in the face.

We walked back into court and I thought calmly.

Wait a minute, she can do whatever she wants, but we'll just withdraw the charges she wanted and we'll be back to our original position.

So that's what we did. I was a bit quiet when the matter was mentioned, people probably thought I was still shaken up but I was just trying to think calmly and rationally.

After that I could sense the cop was trying to comfort me telling me she had yelled at him before too. When I went back to the office, Moira and Steve were in Mary's room talking. I walked in, smiling. Mary asked why I was smiling and Moira said something was up, lol.

I told them about it and we talked about it for the next 10 minutes or so. I was pretty much over it by that stage, but just couldn't believe how rude she was.

On Wednesday I was working away quietly when I got a message from Ele inviting me out to lunch. I had bought my bread and soup this week, but it was her, so I decided to go.

I went to our usual meeting spot at the corner of Woolies and looked around for her. I didn't have my glasses on, but was sure I'd recognise her anyway. I waited about 10 minutes, looking through the crowd each time the traffic lights changed for people to cross. Finally I saw her approaching the middle of the intersection, and gesturing if I wanted to go in another direction.

I met with her in the intersection and we walked to that building where we had previously had Japanese. She had asked earlier via text whether I wanted to go to touch footy on the beach on Sunday, so we talked about that a bit. We found the Japanese restaurant to be quite crowded, so we went upstairs to another Japanese restaurant. This one didn't have sushi, it was more like noodle based. She wanted sushi, but due to time constraints she settled for this.

I wrote my name down and took a number and we waited for a table. We waited about five minutes before we got a table by ourselves. She had curry chicken and rice and I had a ramen. We talked about work, the others, and a bit about life in general. She found out that I was only about 20 days younger than her - all this time she thougth I was a few years younger. I asked how old Young was and she avoided the topic by saying "he's a kid". Sometimes I wonder if the reason I didn't end up with Ele is because she had all these misapprehensions about me.

I said God saw an evil girl in her being born, so he had to create a good guy to defeat her, which was me, 20 days later. It made her laugh in that really cute way. Towards she end she asked if she was a difficult person. I said she wasn't, and if she was I wouldn't meet up with her.

She received a text on her phone and said she had to go (I had to go as well, since I was well over my one hour lunch break). She went to the cashier with a bit of initiative, and I suspected she was going to pay. When the girl said the cost, Ele paid and walked away. When I tried to give her my money, she refused to take it and said I was embarassing her. She said she was a VIP there and I was embarassing her, and that no one acknowledged her because they were all scared.

She kept asking if she was a difficult person as we traveled down the escalator. I said she wasn't, but couldn't really come up with a 'good' answer to put her concerns at ease. She seemed to think that I would think she was a difficult person last year because she was grumpy by not coming out as much. I said I just assumed she was busy.

We parted ways and I walked back hurriedly to my office.

After work I met with Phil to go to bball together. Because it was just us two, we got to find out about eachother a bit more on the train. I found it kinda odd that we both speak Cantonese, but we speak to eachother in English. However, I did find his accent to be a bit strong at times.

I showed him the shortcut from the station to the courts, which I vaguely remembered. We got to the courts first, then Nick came then Mike came. I started to warm up a bit by running around.

We had a 'small' team tonight because Bo was overseas, Any said he can't afford it, and the white Mike could only play the first 10 minutes as he had to play for his other team which only had four.

I started the game, and when I went around shaking hands with the other team, it was like all this was coming back to me. I hadn't done that for so long, I almost didn't know what to do. It almost felt odd.

Both teams scored back and forth at about the same rate, but we built up a small lead. I hit my first shot, when I was standing inside the three point line around the elbow, someone passed it to me and I quickly shot it, and was surprised it went in.

Later, I got another bucket by basically walking through the D and doing a little floater. We had a small lead by halftime.

In the second half, I missed a three, but then later I hit almost the same shot, with my toe on the line. I thought "hey damn, I'm on fire tonight". I took myself off for Phil after five minites, figuring I'd give him the unimportant time in case the game came close. Indeed, they caught up and took the lead. I went on for Phil with about six minutes to go. We couldn't get our offense going. Abi was cold from outside, and Nick missed about six free throws in total. Angelo started showing some signs by driving but it was too late. I hit a baseline jumper late in the game to end up with eight points.

It was a game we could've won, but didn't. Oh well.

Afterwards we had to do duty and ref, and Nick chucked a fit about paying and having to be a ref. I didn't want to do it so tried to get Mike to do it, but he was stubborn so I had to do it. I did an ok job, but after halftime another ref became free and he took over. But then later he had to go so I got back into the game. I thought I reffed pretty well throughout, EXCEPT the last call I made.

The blue team was down by three, and this guy stole the ball but I called a foul. Immediately I knew it was the wrong call but I couldn't reverse it. I was surprised he didn't chuck a psych. They ended up losing.

I caught the train back with Nick and Phil. They got something to eat at Macca's first. Nick was really persistent in offering me his chicken nuggets, and I declined. We came to an agreement whereby I'd split the cost of the 'extra' team fee because we lost the discount, and Any;s game fees.

I got off the train and went to buy a KFC burger, hehe.

The next Naby step

Ever since Tuesday night when Naby actually told me she sometimes thought about me, my mind has been ramping. Why did she say that? She already said it in the message the night before. Did she feel the need to say it in person? Was my reaction the right one?

In any event, it feels to me like we've taken the next step. It seems like we've both admitted somewhat that we like eachother - kinda. I can't help but wonder where this will lead.

I was serious when I told her I wanted to take her to a hotel one day. Ever since, I've been fantasising about it in my mind. At first I pictured booking the casino hotel, but then didn't want to re-visit my gambling ways, and worst of all, I did not want to start her on such a filthy habit (imagine if she got addicted, oh god).

I figured it'd be safe to take her to one near by. I want a classy one, and am willing to pay. I want it to be special. I figure it'll be near the harbour, so I can take her to the aquarium, the zoo, bowling, pool, and have a nice dinner at night. The sex isn't too important.

I even had a dream about it - but it was just where I woke up to see her message on my phone, saying something like "I've gone home". :(

But I do think about the realities of it - will we be able to bond outside of the shop? Outside of the bedroom? What will we talk about? I mean, seriously, I've known her for more than a year now but I can honestly say, we don't really talk about anything substantive. We just have sex and cuddle. It's like the best part of any relationship. It's like we've managed to stretch out the honeymoon phase to a year. It's like we've managed to cut the best bit out of a cake/muffin/dish and focus on that.

But how will we act when out in public? Will we be affectionate? Awkward? Awkward silence? What if we have absolutely nothing to talk about?

Those are my greatest worries. But then at times I do think I can pull this off IF I can tell myself just to have fun and not take things too seriously. Let myself go.

That is the exact opposite of the natural me who tends to think more long term: is this a step towards something more serious? Could I end up marrying her? Would she ever leave her industry? Could she really forget about all that? I do want to talk to her about it, but fear that it then gets too serious.

Or hell, maybe I'm just thinking too much and she would never even consider going out with me.

One another thing I've felt - as good as it was for her to say that, a small part of me is asking "really? Do you really want her?" One might call it cold feet, others may call it something else. Maybe it's my "you like then when they like you, and they like you when you don't like them" syndrome, but a small part of me lost a small part of interest thinking that she may genuinely like me.

I think too much.

Dinner with Bush, Carry and HHH

Yesterday's plan was to get to the courts early to finish those 55 shots, but I slept in a bit and got to the courts at 9ish. To my surprise, a lot of people were there, mainly young kids, and a lot of rings were turned around from netball. I walked through the courts, and didn't feel like joining in any of them so I kept on walking.

I was about to walk to Central, but then realised there were courts at the high school nearby that I've always thought about checking out. I didn't want to go to the ones right by the street as they were too visible, but I've previously noticed courts near the centre of the school.

I walked in, feeling like a trespasser, and saw a guy shooting around. He definitely looked older than a high school student, so I was glad I wasn't the only one there who shouldn't have been.

I warmed up just by shooting around, felt a bit silly doing suicides at an unfamiliar court, and got straight into my shots. The good thing about these courts was the lack of wind, since there were buildings around. The bad thing was the court was pretty dirty, making the ball dirty and slippery. Also, it didn't help that a lot of times the ball rolled off into the dirt.

I started off ok, then at around the 20-30th shot I felt like I got hot a bit and had a streak going. Then right in the middle of it to the latter part I felt tired and really had to mentally keep my form, and struggled a lot. Finally finished and was glad I completed the 55, making that 110 from two weeks ago (I decided to not count completely the ones I did last week).

I felt good about myself as I packed up and started walking home. My legs were a bit tired, and I could feel my abs got a bit of a workout from all that jumping. Also got that annoying flesh scratch on the back of my right heel caused by my shoe.

When I got home I checked my phone (I hadn't taken it to bball) and saw Phil had messaged me to come to bball and there was a missed call from Bo. I called Bo back and I could hear that he was at the courts. He asked if I wanted to come out to watch the playoffs, and I said yes. Phil's message was something like "get up and come to bball" which I found kinda funny - people seem to assume I sleep in (their version of 'sleep in') but it would surprise many that by 10am I've already done more exercise than they'd do in a day.

Anyway, I had a shower and headed out. I met them on the main street and we went to a pub on Park Street. They were showing the game on one of the small screens, but Bo asked and they switched it to one of the bigger tvs. I was starving as I hadn't had breakfast so I wanted to order something to eat. Phil already said he'd get drinks, and he covered the chips as well, so that was pretty nice of him. Need to remember to shout next time.

We watched Game 3 of the Dalls/LA series. Can't believe LA lost, now they're down 0-3. Kobe took a ridiculous shot late in the game, and they were leading. Peja came back to life. I thought he'd be good as dead, but he still had some life in him.

During the game, I noticed two things:

1. Bo definitely had a drinking problem. I think he had three drinks. Into his second or third drink, I made a joke about the triad, and then he put on a Vietnamese accent, talking about a guy called Tony Ma. I could see he was drunk, and he had this semi-aggressive state in his voice. It was not nice.

2. He mentioned somehting about cutting up his credit cards in the past, and Phil seemed to know about this. So maybe he has a spending problem or something.

It was nice to watch a game with them, but not so nice with drunk Bo. I was glad to get out of there as we parted at the train station. I thought about going to get some KFC to eat, but instead caught a bus home.

The car was home so I ended up driving to the Wick to get three wicked wings, and then went home to eat it with bread for lunch. Mmm, yum.

I wanted to take a nap, but only ended up bumming around and going to the gym before going to the dinner with the uni group.

This is the second time I've been to the gym at the Wick since they refurbished the locker rooms. It still feels unfamiliar to me. I did the bike, some basic weights and some abs. I really struggled with the abs, damn you long absences.

I went straight from there to the dinner. I really underestimated the drive time. I gave myself one hour to drive there and it took longer than that, thanks to the city traffic and lack of parking once I got there. I messaged Carry to keep her up to date - after that time when I was late to Bush's house, I've been scared of her ever since.

I had to park in a car park that was opposite the main car park since there was no room at all in the main one. When I got there I saw Carry, HHH and Bush. HHH seemed to be a bit chubbier, but I could be wrong. They told me Shady and Kylie cancelled, probably because they thought eachother was coming.

We ordered and had some nice talks during the night. We talked about work a lot, but in an informal funny kinda way. I found that Carry laughed at a lot of my jokes. I probably hadn't seen HHH for, what, two years? Damn. I sat next to Bush and noticed she had a few strands of hair covering her face. Ever since that night with Naby where I brushed back the hair from her face, I've been having that urge whenever I see it with other girls - got the same urge when I saw Ele on Friday.

After dinner we wanted to go to Max Brenna for dessert, but there was a long queue, so we went to the Coffee Club instead. HHH and Carry went to the bathroom, so Bush and I went in and ordered first. We made a bit of a joke about how the girl gave us take away and HHH and Carry eat-in.

I don't know why, but I felt more comfortable with this group now than before. Maybe because there was no awkward hugging.

At about 10:30pm Bush called it quits by playing the "if it takes you an hour to get home, then we should go" card, which I didn't realise at the time.

When I went to the car park, my heart froze. Both gates were closed. Uh-oh. I called Bush and asked her to wait around, and she was happy to (although probably a bit annoyed inside).

I found my way inside the shopping mall through a "no public access" entrance, and then went down into the car park. I got totally lost trying to find my car, I didn't know where I was heading. Bush had called and I could only tell her I was inside looking for my car. She suggested coming to pick me up so we could look together, but at that moment I spotted my car.

Thank god!

Now I just needed to find a way out. The important thing was finding my car. Worst case scenario is I'd just take a piss in the corner and sleep in my car. But I drove past a worker on a cigarette break and asked her how to get out. She said she'd show me the exit and started walking. I asked if she wanted to get in and she said it was alright. God I must've seemed like a stalker.

She showed me the exit and said the automatic gates would open once I got there. I thanked her and sped over, hoping she was right. Indeed, the gates did open up. I called Bush and said I was alright, and thanked her for waiting.

I drove peacefully back home, half looking to fill up with petrol, and half looking for a street race. I got neither as I arrived back home.

Today
Plan was to wash the car in the morning and then go into the office afterwards. I ended up driving to the supermarket in the morning to buy the weeks groceries, and then went back home to eat breakfast.

My parents took the car, so I thought I'd go to work and then come back to wash it, but bummed around home all day and then took a nap. When they came back, I finally washed it. It was so dirty, you could feel the layers of dust on it. It wasn't visibly dirty, but for my standards, I hadn't washed it for probably about a month, and thta's dirty for me.

I was quite proud to make it all shiny and new afterwards. It was peaceful to do too. I thought about Naby, and about my gambling past.

After that, I went back up and bummed around on the net. I thought about going to the office, even though it was about 4pm, but then decided to just leave it and go in early tomorrow. But then you know what, I read about and watched Rondo playing with a dislocated elbow, and thought, fuck that, if he can work so hard, then so should I.

And with that, I caught a bus out to the city. I went into the office and worked on my upcoming files for the week. Plan was to finish them and then read up on stuff for the interview this week, but by 6:30pm I had done most of them and figured I wanted to sleep on one of them, so I left and went home.

Dinner with G, Sally, Amanda and Karen

On Wednesday I sat in for Mary in her CCA matter. I saw EO and Bengo there, and when I told them where I was working now, Bengo was like "why?" lol. It was also the same judge that I had in that two year job with Michael D. Wonder what he thought of me now working for the other side.

Not long into it, Mary tapped me on the shoulder to let me know she had arrived. I asked if she wanted to sit in but she wanted me to remain there. I must admit I felt a bit of pressure knowing I was being watched, even though really all I had to do was sit there and take notes. I did do one thing productive though, which was provide a date when the judge asked for it.

Afterwards Mary, WR, the cop and I went upstairs for a coffee. I just had an orange juice, courtesy of WR. It turned into an hour long session of WR and Mary gossiping back and forth about the past and others who remain in the profession today. From that I got quite a bit, but probably didn't know half the people they were talking about. I always figured lawyers would be decent, normal people. Apparently not.

As I sat there, I realised I must now start planning "one hour coffee breaks" into my work schedule if this was what it was going to be like. I was glad when the cop suggested leaving, even though we remained there for another 15 minutes.

I walked home that day after work, always finding it peaceful.

On Thursday I was in court, had Moira's matter and mine, which used to be Sarah's. They were in two different courtrooms, so I had to go between the different levels every now and then. I figured I'd do Moira's first but the other side didn't show up. Luckily I had the interpreter there to let me know when they'd arrive, so I went up to do my own.

Got absolutely blasted by the mag (who I recognised from a similar experience) for asking for more time, and so did the other side. Maybe I'm getting older now, but it didn't affect me much. I just stood there and took it, and then walked out of there thinking it was kinda funny. It was good at least to share something like this with the other side, as opposed to when both parties are going at you.

I was pretty glad when I got both matters done because it meant I'd have time to do other work back in the office. I've started to realise that sometimes there can be way too much court work in this branch. I'm still trying to adjust to that.

After work I was to meet with Amanda, her friend Karen and G for dinner. I only really suggested it because I felt sorry for Amanda. When she asked me for tennis, I just gave a short "yeah sure" which she may have seen as a rude brush off. I know it's wrong to 'mislead' someone, even though it's because I feel sorry for them, but yeah.

Anyway, G had 'entered a relationship' a few days ago with a girl called Sally. From what Shuing says, she's another Michelle. But on the day, G calls me and tells me he's bringing along Sally, which really fucked up the whole structure of the thing. I tried to get Shuing but he just got home and couldn't be arsed coming out unless someone drove him, and William was too tired (found that surprising for a guy who goes out nearly every night).

I was tempted to blame G's total lack of common sense, but I could picture Sally asking him what he was doing, him telling her truthfully, and then her demanding to go along with him. What's a guy to do in that situation?

So after work, I went to the Town Hall steps to wait for them. I waited for a bit before I spotted Amanda walking past. She didn't see me so I went up to her and called out to her. She seemed a bit 'hurried' and made a remark about me having hair (I had a shaved head back then). We talked a bit before she wanted to head off to pick up Karen.

G called me adn said he was meeting Sally at the cinemas, so I suggested we go to the cinema to meet them first since it'd be on the way to Karen. The familiarity of Amanda was coming back to me, but this time she did really seem to be in a bit more of a rush.

We walked past the cinema and I spotted Sally waiting there. I recognised her from facebook. We made brief eye contact but I pretended I didn't know her. I mean, I wasn't really going to walk up to her and tell her I recognised her from facebook. So Amanda and I stood around talking a bit, I made the mistake of bringing up movies only to remember she wasn't into movies.

G then arrived and introduced us to Sally, and we all shook hands. I found her to be fairly attractive with her business attire on. We walked down the main street to pick up Karen, and when we met her, Amanda proceeded to re-introduce me, only to forget my name momentarily. Sally picked up on that and made a big deal out of it. When Amanda wasn't looking, she said to me "she forgot your name!" like I gave a shit. Obviously G had told her I liked her (which was wrong).

We walked up the main street to the Korean restaurant, and Amanda and Karen were walking together. Sally made a deal about me not walking with Amanda, which made me feel really uncomfortable.

G complimented me on my suit, probably because I was wearing the grey one when he was always used to me wearing my black one. Sally asked why I liked black since I was dark already.

When we got to the Korean restaurant, we went upstairs and were led to a table. Sally's friend was coming too (talk about a crash) so we were to have six. As I looked around, I realised how much shit I'd be in if Naby saw me. God that would be so bad. And therein lies a hypocrisy which is another example of my screwed up life - she could sleep with anyone who paid, yet I was feeling guilty about being seen with girls who I wasn't even attracted to.

If I needed a sign with merit that Amanda wasn't right for me, I got a few tonight. When we got the menus, she went through them and basically decided what to eat all by herself. I don't know, maybe it's just the way I'm used to doing it with the guys, but we just order a dish each, whereas Amanda was basically choosing everything for us. I had to actively give a menu to Sally and G and ask them to choose what they wanted.

Sally's friend, Linda, arrived. She wasn't very attractive, but she was pretty friendly. She was nice enough to just forgo the menu selecting experience and going with whatever had been chosen prior to her arrival.

The next sign came when the dishes arrived. The waitresses (one of them was pretty hot) started delivering the mains, and Amanda was like "where are the entrees?" I was like "don't worry I'm sure they'll come" but she got even more agitated when the second main was delivered. She got so upset she said she wanted to make a complaint.

They're just entrees for god's sakes!!!

Another sign was that during the dinner, there seemed to be somewhat of a barrier between G's group and Amanda and Karen. I was happy to talk to either, but I noticed Amanda had resorted to speaking to Karen in Cantonese - pretty rude in my book to start talking in another language at a table when not everyone understands it.

After dinner we decided to go for desserts at Capitol. Linda didn't join us as she had to go home. The strains felt throughout the night only exacerbated then - Sally was telling everyone how it was hard for her to gain weight and easy to lose weight. Obviously for someone like Amanda who admittedly used to be fat, this did not come off very well.

Although on one view Sally came off as 'nice', I also sensed an egotistical side to her, one that would not be good company with many other girls, and this was where I saw the similarity with Michelle as per Shuing's analysis (god sometimes that guy is so right, it's freaky). If that's true, then she wouldn't have many girl friends, and would prefer to be the centre of attention amongst guys.

Having thought about it today, I wondered how long she would last with G. She's currently "in between jobs" and G is a tight arse - deathly formula? If you thought G suffered bad when he broke up with his other girlfriend Amanda, this girl Sally will totally destroy him.

G drove Sally back home, while I walked Amanda and Karen to the train station, and then parted. I got the feeling Amanda wasn't as interested in me this time round. Maybe it was the presence of Sally. Or maybe I looked worse with hair (she did say I looked better with a shaved head). But either way, I guess it's a good escape.

Yesterday I had a whole office day, and got two minutes done in that internet cafe matter, which is really starting to get dated. Glad I got it done.

In the afternoon, I just felt like it and messaged Elel asking her if she'd like to meet up after work. She said yes, and that she had ice cream and mentioned something about me being noticed now, insinuating that I was there to carry the ice cream for her.

I was actually quite busy even towards the end of the day, but when it was obvious that I'd be a bit late, I dropped everything, went to change into my gym gear and left the office.

I bought a watermelon fruit salad and then went to meet her. I couldn't help but feel there was so much chemistry between us. When we texted, she said "usual time?" and I said "usual place?" - neither of us had to specify and we knew.

I went to Woolies and saw her come up to me. She asked if I wanted to go to dinner with Jessica and Shira and then eyed me up and down. She said she couldn't go because the minute prior to their invitation, she had told her husband she'd be going home.

I was glad I was in my gym gear, because it allowed me to say I couldn't go. She pushed for me to get changed in the office and I just said no. She kept asking me why I didn't want to go. I just pictured myself sitting there blandly with Shira and Jessica. No thanks.

I offered her a piece of watermelon but she was no go. She showed me the ice cream, which was just two small tubs, didn't know why I needed to carry them. I offered to hold them but she said no. We started our way down the main street.

I asked if she'd met G's girlfriend. She had, but at the time they hadn't hooked up together yet. She said she thought Sally was dating another guy. I told her a bit about the impression Sally made at dinner, and she said she didn't notice it, but other girls had called her a 'narcissist'. I liked how she had difficulty pronouncing that word but wanted to learn it anyway. It was cute.

A monk approached her and we just ignored it, but she told me how in China they come up to you and tell you how you will have good luck and yada yada yada and then they ask you for money. I said I had an Indian guy do that with me, giving me a nut and then asking me $15 for it. Ele added that I should've cut the nut in half and only paid $7.50 - this was my first conscious realisation that she had added to my joke, which only confirmed my earlier thoughts about chemistry.

When we got to the train station, I told her how it reminded me of a current case I have where a guy tried to meet a young girl here for sex. She had stopped in her tracks and I asked her why she wasn't going into the train station. She opened the plastic bag and said she was going to give me one of the ice creams. I said no, but she insisted. She took a tub out, then gave me the one in the plastic bag. She said it was expiring tomorrow, but the actualy gesture itself made me appreciate it more.

Whenever people give me things that I've said I don't want, it kinda makes me feel appreciated and wanted.

I walked home after that, with the ice cream in my bag.