Dreams

I cannot believe, I dreamed up a movie. On Friday night I think it was, I had a dream. It's a bit hazy, but I remember it like I was watching a movie. It was in black and white. No sound really, but the way the motions were presented were sufficient to tell the story.

A girl woke up and was trying to get away from her male captor. The male kept pursuing her. Finally, they ended up in a boxing ring. They were fencing with eachother. The girl was fighting for her life, trying to noy only defend, but ton defeat her captor. The guy, on the other hand, seemed to just be defending himself. It became more and more obvious slowly that he wasn't really trying to harm her.

Then, she grabs a camera, and sees videos of herself having fun with the captor. It then dawns on her, and the audience, that she suffers from severe memory lapse. The guy was her partner. He was trying to safeguard her, and had been trying every single day this happened.

I woke up thinking I had just dreamed about a movie that was showing, only to realise that there's no such thing like it! Maybe I should create my own mini-movie.

Then the next night, I had a dream where I was urinating in a public toilet. Some guy opened the door and nudged me. I was like "wtf?". He wanted to use the cubicle, but obviously I was using it. I nudged him back a few times before forcing him out. When I finished, I went out to find him in the next cubicle, barged in, and started a fight.

Next thing I knew I had been charged by police and my career was on the line.

Hmmm.

Anyway, today was probably one of my most productive days since coming to this branch. I spent the morning preparing my matters for Wednesday's list officer, then worked on the SC bail matter to give to Sarah, then at the end of the day I looked at some reports for tomorrow's sentence.

At lunch, I was looking forward to grabbing a cheap sushi box and having it with my bottle of water back at the office. But just as I was about to leave, I saw a missed call from Shuing. I probably shouldn't have called back since I wanted to be alone, but I did, and he asked me out to lunch. I agreed on the basis that we'd go to Macca's (since I needed to save money).

I met him downstairs at my office and we stopped by the post office so I could pay a bill. He questioned why I needed to pay "the old fashion way". Instead of telling him I'd been doing it with my credit card online the past year and that I was now stopping all usage of my credit card, I attempted to defend the "old fashion" way which I felt was leading to an argument.

As we lined up at Macca's, I told him about Fam's reaction to breaking up, and he said something about people having confidence only because they got results. When we sat down, I found it a bit hard to talk to him. I felt like I didn't have much to say to him. I told him about John's offer to invest in a brothel, and Shuing said he has a friend's friend who works as a receptionist at a brothel and is now making double what he was previously making. He added that if a person was willing to ditch their morals, then they could earn a lot of money. It made me think. I thought about Naby.

Before he sat down, two girls had just left. There was a jumper on the table and I asked the girl sitting there if it belonged to her. She said no, and that it belonged to the girls who left. So I went out chasing after them, only to have them say it wasn't theirs. Oh well.

Anyway, during a long period of silence, Shuing asked me what I was thinking. I said money. He then said that I should have a bit saved up, since I'd been working for a while now. I knew it was a bad topic to go to with him, because he'd cross examine the shit out of me. Of course, he'd be right IF I DIDN'T HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM.

I mumbled something about Tabcorp shares halving over the last few years, which was true, but then he said I wouldn't have put that much in as he "knew me". He was right again.

I steered away from the topic by talking about my SLO snub and hence I was on the lookout for a job. We headed back to work even though I had 15 more minutes to spare. I just felt like I needed to get out of there. It was almost like talking in court, where everything I said would be recorded, and he'd get defensive at any allegations made.

At the end of the day, I had finished my stuff and was bored, so I checked my payslip online. I discovered that it had been processed a day earlier than usual, and that I HAD BEEN SHORTCHANGED BY $100!!!

Whoever calculated it had done so based on my salary before the increase, which was $100 less. I was pretty pissed off and sent an email asking them to fix it before pay day on Thursday. I find that I'm much more sharp on money now. Can't wait until I pay back this debt.

Also, I woke up today with a tinge in my right shoulder - the same pain I've been having in my left shoulder. Well the pain in my left is almost gone, but progressively through the day the pain in my right got worse and worse. It's very annoying now. I don't even know what I did with it, except maybe the way I was sleeping last night.

Maitland list / Ele's Gloves / John's Wedding

So on Thursday I woke up a little bit late, still got out of the door 'comfortably' at 6:40am, but during the drive, I under-estimated how far it was, and as I got closer to 9am, I started freaking out and speeding fearing that I wouldn't make it in time.

Going 130km/h in a Micra is not a good thing. You feel like at any moment the car is just going to go out of control and be blown away by the wind/momentum.

Anyway, I got there at about 9:20am and started walking to the court, relieved to see a bunch of people waiting outside, which meant it hadn't opened yet. Turns out it opened at 10am, which was my guess anyway, but sometimes my insecurity fears for the worst and takes over.

When court opened, everyone filed in including me. I set up my suitcase and had people starting to come over to talk about their matters. It wasn't an overload, but at first it seems like it can be. When the mag came on, she actually knocked down seven of my matters in a matter of minutes, leaving me sitting there thinking I was already halfway through the list.

As I was on my feet, I felt a bump and a voice say "just set it down for hearing and they'll withdraw it". I looked to see a short, fat guy with glasses, and hair somewhat like Don King's. He smiled and said he was joking. At first I was a little offended, but then my feelings backed off a little feeling like he was just joking.

He later introduced himself as Al. I had taken a seat on the side, but the mag told me to sit at the bar so I didn't have to move back and forth. How nice of her.

By midday I only had one matter to go, but the sol and def needed time, so I had to stay till after lunch, which wasn't a problem anyway, as I was looking forward to a lunch and some time away from the office. I had a walk around during lunch, wanting something 'local' to eat, but ended up at Subway.

After that I returned to court to wait, and a few of the other sols were also there. I ended up talking to Al and the police pro. Al had a cookbook and was telling us about how promegranate was one of the few anti-cancer fruits. I thought he was a bit of an interesting fellow.

My last matter got done when court resumed, and I left. I bought a pack of easter eggs at the reject shop to share with the office and then returned to the car. I missed a turn and got a bit lost. I filled the car up with petrol before finding my way back onto the right route.

When I got into the city, congestion was really bad and I took an early turn off the bridge, and got stuck on the main city road for almost an hour, which meant I got back to the office at 6pm. No on was there when I got back, so I just put the easter eggs in a bowl and checked my emails, and then found out that Ray had come back to get his phone.

Friday
On Friday I felt fresh and motivated to work, still stinging from that SLO rejection. Alanna sent me an email in the morning, asking me how Maitland was and whether I met the "creepy" Al guy, and then asked a question about work. I called her, and thought she meant "creepy" in a slightly joking sense, but she forwarded an email to me which I think she wrote to Wendy A complaining about Al's inappropriate behaviour towards her. Apparently he had made some comments with sexual innuendo involved. I was a bit surprised, because he didn't seem like the sleazy type of guy, thinking about him sitting there with his cookbook, but then again, he was interacting amongst a bunch of guys with us.

Slowly throughout the day, a headache started to grow on me. I didn't think much of it at first, but it got to a point where I just felt like going home. It wasn't as bad as the caffeine withdrawal one, but the combination of it and the Friday afternoon made me want to go home.

I stuck it out, however, and finally made it to 5pm. Ele had messaged me late in the afternoon asking what time I finished work and whether I could meet her for a few minutes. I said yes, and began wondering what this was about. Did it have something to do with my recent MSN conversations with Evonne? Evonne had started talking to me recently on MSN, and I wondered if she liked me (probably not).

After work I went to get a card for John's wedding, bought a fruit salad and then went to meet Ele. We hadn't really arranged a place, but knowing where she works, I just went up to the supermarket on the corner. I finished my fruit salad and stood around waiting.

I thought she wouldn't be able to find me like last time, but this time as I spotted her crossing the road, she saw me too. She was dressed rather fancy. I asked her if I was out of her doghouse now. She didn't know what that meant so I explained it to her and she just smiled, like she wanted to avoid the issue.

She said she wanted to meet me because she wanted to give me something. She handed me a small plastic bag with a rectangular box inside. I figured it was the gloves. She said it had been in her work drawer for a long time. I opened it and saw that they were quite nice. I slipped one on and told her I had been looking for a nice pair of gloves for a long time.

She asked me what I was doing and I said I was meeting the guys for dinner and invited her. At first she thought I was just meeting G and then invited us to her place as her husband's friend was cooking, but then when I told her I was also meeting Malay and Brain, she seemed to cool that idea off a little.

We walked down the main street. She said she'd walk with me to the cinema but then when we got there I said I'd walk her to Central since there was still time before meeting the guys. We talked about her work, and I told her about my SLO snub. She asked about Michelle as well, not really sure why.

I had also made up the story that the gloves would be a good murder weapon as they wouldn't leave fingerprints, and said because of the way she was dressed, it was kinda like her meeting me to give me instructions on who she wanted killed. She laughed and I played that idea out as we walked to Central. When we got to the large entrance, I was prepared to just turn around and wave goodbye, but she had stood in front of me, and then opened her arms for a hug. So I hugged her. I noticed my face was probably a few degrees closer than our last hug, but I kept my hips away in case anyone saw (paranoia me).

I then walked back to meet the guys, and saw G's car at the lights. I jumped in, as he was looking for a parking spot. For a moment I couldn't believe how coincidental it had all been. Luckily it wasn't Shuing, because if he saw our hug then he would've started his conspiracy theories.

He drove to his usualy parking spot (because it's free, albeit it's a 20 minute walk back to the city) and we walked together as he was heading to this social lice drinks. I had the idea of tagging Brain there, but asked G if he wanted to. It was all moot in the end, as after a bit of a wait at the cinema, G came over saying no one was at the drinks.

We hung around until Brain arrived, and then we waited for Malay who had to catch a cab because he was already late waiting for the bus. I showed them all this game at Timezone which made it seem easy to win a PS3, and I bought $10 of credit and so did Malay, and then we all took turns. G had already spent some money at the arcades across the road, but I noticed Brain didn't fork out any of his own.

We ended up having KFC for dinner, mainly because it was cheap. We went so cheap that we bought a $32 bucket meal to share between the four of us, lol. After that we went to Starbucks for a coffee. I lined up and ordered drinks for everyone. Brain gave me $20, but it was only a total of like $17 so I used my $20 and gave his back. At least he offered I guess.

We talked a bit about money. We had this idea of putting together $10,000 each and buying an investment property. Not sure how well that'd work.

We called it a night later, and I was glad because my headache still wasn't going away. We had actually planned to watch a movie but because of my headache I said I wasn't up for it. G drove us all home.

I was happy inside, knowing that I could hold these gloves from Ele forever.

Saturday (yesterday)
Woke up at 7am, intending to vote at 8am, but bummed around for a bit. I've started to realise that my parents have this bad habit of waking up when I wake up and wanting to 'join' me for whatever I'm doing. I had it all planned to go do the voting and then drive to John's, but now my parents wanted to go together, and god knows how long they'll take.

So I said I'd go first, and then they could go and I'd pick them up after they vote to drive them wherever they wanted. I went to withdraw some money and then went to vote. I got there at about 8:30am and there was only a small line. I voted Liberals and then walked back home. To my surprise my parents were still home - they thought I'd go vote with them.

Noooooooo!

I ended up not taking them, with my sister and I telling them it was easy and no one could check if they voted properly anyway. I drove off, already late to John's thing since I was supposed to be there at 8am.

I did as much speeding as I could and got there at about 10am. Apparently John was at the bride's place for the ceremony and would be back at his place at 11am. I always thought that he just needed me for setting up at his place. Assumptions, or lack of information?

He asked me to ring the bell so I did, and his sister opened the door. I asked if she needed any help, she said no, and that was that. I went back to my car, drove off to buy some petrol at a dodgy looking petrol station - if my bank card gets scammed I'm blaming it on this transaction. I then drove back and parked opposite John's parents' place and sat there, half wanting to take a nap.

After a while I saw several cars approaching. I was pretty sure it was John, because they were all BMWs, Mercedes, and a hummer. I got out and approached, and joined the group almost immediately. They needed the guys to carry these trays and walk in two lines into the house, so I did that.

There was the traditional ceremony inside the house which I watched. One thing that touched me was seeing how happy his parents were. Naturally, his mother was crying. It made me think about my parents. I didn't want them to die without seeing me getting married. If this was how happy it was going to make them, then I was motivated to do it. But would it be at the cost of me not liking the girl?

The other thing was, this was the first time I had seen John's wife - Kristine. She was stunning in her wedding dress, and at some angles she reminded me of Naby. It made me think...it made me realise how fanciful my fantasies were of spending my life with Naby. It just wouldn't work. Could you really imagine standing there with her before your parents, knowing that she used to be a prostitute? I did, however, think about the day that she may get married, and was somewhat envious. I'm sure she'll be beautiful.

After the ceremony, everyone went out to the backyard for lunch. It had been set up with tables and shelters and there was also a mobile catering van in the driveway. It made me wonder how on earth I would ever do this at my place - it was just way too small. And seeing all the decorations around John's house - my place would be just too run down.

I sat at a table with the guys, most of who I could recognise from the bucks. It was a bit hard to fully get along since sometimes they'd speak Vietnamese. I would chip in from time to time, but nevertheless felt out of place.

After we finished eating, my entire table got up and left to vote. Wow, did I feel lonely. Apparently there was a 'break' between now and the reception, so the guys were going to vote, save for a few. John saw it and came to my table to chat a bit, before I ended up going outside to where the cars were.

It was decided that I'd go with them for some photos. I got into the car of this guy called Lin. He was a semi-professional photographer. We got talking, and he said he was single until recently. Just shooting shit, I asked him how he met her, he told me it was a girl from primary school who was now in California. She apparently found some photos of his on the internet and got in contact with him, and he'll be going there to see her later in the year. But he hadn't seen her since primary school. So...how does that make her his girlfriend!??!?!!?!?

Anyway, we went to John's new house in Merrylands. At first I was amazed and stunned. It was a nice two storey building with a sliding security gate for the driveway and entrance. Inside was pretty amazing too. I wondered how he could afford all of this and the Mercedes just from his business alone. Was he really making that much money? Or was this all debt and part of a bluff? Nevertheless, I was sure the appearance of financial success alone was a contributing factor to Kristine marrying him.

The best man Tin was sleeping on a recliner, and the other groomsman was sitting on the couch. I sat down next to him. The girls were getting changed or something. There was a bridesmaid who looked kinda cute, but I didn't think much of it.

They took some photos on the stairs as well. As they were posing, I watched on. At one stage, John and Kristine were looking at eachother, and Kristine twitched her nose and smiled at John. I remembered Naby doing that to me. Does that mean Naby really liked me? Or does that mean Kristine only wanted John for money?

After sitting around for a while, we ended up playing poker, lol. We only got a few games in until we headed off for photos at Homebush. I went with Lin again, but this time in the front passenger seat was another girl. I had noticed her earlier, she reminded me of Schlong's sister. During the ceremony earlier, I had figured her out to be the girlfriend of Kristine's brother.

I introduced myself in the car, and she said do you want to know my English name or Vietnamese name?" I said I didn't mind, and she didn't tell me either. Talk about miscommunication.

We got there and started taking photos around the maze of poles. The cute bridesmaid asked me to hold her jacket, so that was my sole duty for the trip, along with holding Lin's spare camera.

Sometimes you look at a person and you're just in awe because of their beauty/status or whatever. I was a bit like that when I saw Kristine. But then I figured she was in make up and everything, and now I saw the side of her that was a bit demanding. Just the way she would ask for things. Maybe it was her big day and she was entitled, I don't know.

After that we went to an area close to the water and a nice green landscape in the background for photos. I was a bit disappointed I wasn't one of the groomsmen but I was willing to be a benchwarmer for John. There was a break during the photos where us guys gathered around, and John said to never get married - I assumed he meant it was too much work for the wedding.

We took a few more photos before driving back to John's new house. This time I was in the hummer. I sat at the back with the two bridesmaids, the cute one next to me. I had taken her jacket to make room for her, and then later offered to hold the flowers she was holding in exchange for her jacket. Whenever we made turns, she would play "corners" and lean hard onto me. I joked it was like high school again. She said the flowers I was holding suited me. I could feel a bit of chemistry going on but then didn't want to appear to be hitting on her with the two groomsmen in the front, so I refrained. Stupid?

When we got to John's house, we were trying to decide how transportation would work, as the girls would need to get to reception at about 4:30pm for make up, yet the two groomsmen needed to go vote. I then asked if my car was needed, and John had forgotten about that, so it was decided that the two groosmen would drive me back to pick up my car.

I was kinda disappointed I wouldn't be spending time with the cute bridesmaid, but was also happy that I'd get more time in the hummer. I'd never been in a hummer before, hehe. They mainly talked between themselves, but after we dropped Tin off, I moved up front and started talking to the other guy. I can't remember his name, but he was fairly frank with me. He said he went to high school with John before John changed schools in year 11. He said he didn't have much direction in high school, and so now is an electrician. I said that was a cool job, but he really focused a lot on regrets back then and not having a proper career path. It made me feel grateful for my current job against my recent anger of the SLO snub.

He dropped me and the hummer back at John's parents' place. He took his own car and drove off, and I drove back to John's new house. I parked on the street outside his house and then went in. John, Kristine and the two bridesmaid were eating sushi, and invited me to join.

We sat there eating sushi for a while before the girls were headed off. They said they needed my car, so I gave it to them. Luckily, after I parked, I had cleaned up the interior a bit. I seriously don't know how my dad gets it so dirty. I did, however, wonder if it was still clean enough for someone with a wedding dress to sit in.

After they left, John and I talked a bit, about marriage, work and life. He seemed to have found the one, yet was still consicous of the fact that if it didn't work out, then he'd be losing half of everything. It was now that I was beginning to notice the small things in his house. One door wasn't really lockable, there was no basin in the toilet, and it was in fact quite small. Maybe something like this didn't cost too much after all. Nevertheless, it still made me think about how I need to save up more and more money for my immediate future.

We ended up upstairs where he had turned on Tekken. He fell asleep during it, while I was a bit turned on by the hot chick in it. It made me want to go to Naby's shop after the wedding, but then told myself to 'practice' being 'faithful' while Naby was away. Besides, it was out of my budget anyway.

I felt for John, because the poor guy was absolutely buggered. I knew it'd be time to leave soon, but I didn't want to wake him. Luckily, his phone rang. At first he declined it, but it rang again and he answered it. Then we got moving. This time, I got to ride in his Merc - what a day, first a hummer, and now a Merc.

During the ride, he told me that he did invite Spawn, but he declined, saying he was busy. What a motherfucker. He also said he felt bad because he never got to send out library guy's wedding invitation because he was always too busy. When we were close to the restaurant, he told me the guy who rented the hummer to him asked if he wanted to invest in a brothel. John asked if I'd do it, and I said yeah, cause there was definitely money to be made, since it went below the tax radar. I asked how much and he said the guy was asking for $100,000!!! I told him to come back to me in a few years, lol.

We managed to find a parking spot right outside the restaurant, and I saw that my car was also parked right outside the restaurant. We got out and saw Lin waiting, as well as one of the other guys at the bucks. He had the same name as me.

We went up together, and stood around for a while before I went to find the bridesmaid to get my keys as my card was in the car. I asked the fat one, who said the cute one had it (thank you God), so I went to ask the cute one. She said she'd get it for me, and I said she had managed to park it perfectly, and she happily agreed, and again I felt a bit of connection there. She said she was used to driving big cars and then gave me the keys. I went back to my car to get the card and returned to put my card in the bowl and sign off as a guest.

I took a photo with John and Kristine, and then spent the next hour or so standing next to the two groosmen and talking to the guy with the same name as me. Turns out he was into body building and that, so we talked about that a lot. I couldn't picture him with a nice body, but he knew what he was talking about, so it was actually interesting.

Then I spotted Fam coming in with his girlfriend. He greeted me and then took a seat at our table. I didn't want to sit next to him, knowing that V and Thigh would be coming tonight, who I'd rather talk to, so I stayed where I was. Later library guy appeared with his girlfriend, and they came over and greeted me before sitting next to the Fam couple.

Eventually I conceded as my legs were tired of standing, so I went to sit next to Fam. Later a family sat down next to us, which was a bit strange, because that meant there wouldn't be enough room for Thigh and V.

I noticed that Fam and his girlfriend weren't really talking much, but I figured that was just the way he rolled. The silent, rich kid type who didn't need to do anything because girls would flock to his money and easy smile. I did like his confidence in talking to the dad of the family in asking about the cute little kids they had.

The son of the family provided a bit of entertainment for us all at the table. He was sooo adorable! He always wanted more food but his parents wouldn't let him, lol. It made me want to have kids.

In the middle of the night, Fam's girlfriend got up and left. I heard her tell library guy's girlfriend that she'd be back. Later, Fam left the table, and came back moments later. He seemed to be himself, enjoying the night. Then, a waiter came around to collect plates and asked Fam if the seat next to him belonged to anyone. He said no. I asked if she was coming back and he told me they broke up. I said he was handling it pretty well. I could just picture them downstairs, her telling him she wanted to break up, expecting him to plead and beg, only to see him smile and say "ok" and walk back upstairs.

She was hot by the way. I said I needed to learn from him. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so attached to Naby. And at times, I'm not.

I listened to John's speech, and heard talk about lifelong and stuff, and wondered how much of that he meant. After all, being lawyers, we were trained to prepare for the worst. We make money based on misfoture. Was he blind, or was he prepared?

Towards the end, it was decided that I'd give Fam a lift home. When he first asked how I got there and I said I drove, thinking nothing of it because I assumed he had driven his Nissan sportscar, I didn't know he was leading to a lift. But yeah, I said it was no problems.

We left pretty much after dessert and when everyone else was leaving. I was pretty tired, and wanted to get up early for swimming. We took some photos with John and Krsitine and then left.

On the drive to Fam's place, we got along a bit better. He was giving me directions, and told me a wrong turn. I was about to turn, and he said to keep going straight, which I did, only to run a red light! LOL, he said "you're gangster" and tapped me on the arm.

We talked a bit about his break up. He said they had been going out for 8 months and had booked a trip to Singapore next week. But he said his dad had taught him that there will always be girls. He said he wanted kids, but not necessarily a girl. He said he was just tired of the process of going through another one.

He said he admired how I, being an Asian, had made a career in prosecution. At this time I felt he was just talking shit and wondered what he was trying to get to.

We arrived at his place which seemed like a mini-mansion in a quiet place of the suburb. I got a bit lost trying to find my way back onto the main road, but eventually found it.

I got home just after midnight and was glad to finally get some rest.

Today
Met up with A for swimming. I told him about my SLO snub, and his advice was I should've asked what 'strengths' I was lacking so I could work on it. Good point. He also suggested I talk to the boss - not such a great idea. I could picture approaching DS going down in flames. Not even sure how much of a say they have in it.

I swear, having miss one week of swimming takes its toll! In the first lap I already felt slower and tired. I really struggled to do 11 and so by the last I was just glad to finish and get out of the pool. Even A said he felt the difference. Let's never take a week off again.

He dropped me off at home, where I bummed around and had a nap. I woke up and had a bit to eat before driving off to take the suit I wore to the wedding to the dry cleaners. The two shops in the Wick were closed, so I went to the shopping centre near me. I had to wait because there was a "back in 5 minutes" sign. You'd think that when they returned they'd be apologetic or at least smile, but nope. I smiled, and the lady looked like I was there to harass her. She reluctantly took my suit and issued me with a ticket. A small line had formed behind me during her absence.

I went back home to return the car, and then went for a jog around the park. I couldn't find the zone, and towards the end I had a pretty big cramp in my tummy growing, but I finished it anyway.

Lewis and his Korean bbq?

I went to sleep last night thinking about the snub. I woke up today thinking about the snub. I was glad it hadn't dissipated overnight. It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. It got me out of bed. I had a shower, breakfast, then left home at 7:20am and walked to work, getting there at about 8:20am. I was glad this motivation was still there. I was so afraid it would've been shortlived.

I prepped a few of my matters for the list tomorrow and then went to the CLE with Genie and Ogre, bumping into Trent at the lifts. We took a seat at about 9am. I sat next to Ogre, and Lewis turned up sitting on my right.

SM started the talk, then it was over to a doctor on mentall illness. I found the way he talked very captivating. It was somewhere between formal and informal. He didn't need notes, and barely used his slides. He knew what he was talking about. More importantly, he was passionate about what he was talking about.

We had a morning tea break afterwards where I was very keen on the various fingerfoods set out for consumption. I was pretty hungry and my stomach had started to grumble. I was comfortable talking to Lewis but then he had to bloody go check his emails. I then ended up talking to the Claire who used to be the para on my level, talking about the strange matter of mine in the list yesterday where she was assisting Frank.

Frank was halfway in the conversation, and then later I noticed Maria had sort of joined in, standing in front of me. I didn't know how to open, but instead found myself standing there, not knowing what to do with my hands as we talked. At moments where Frank would piss off out of the conversation, I'd talk to them about their level 10 matters. Later I maneuvered to get some more food, adn ended up next to Maria.

Talk about something outside of work.

Talk about something outside of work.

Talk about something outside of work.

Try to somehow show that you know Janet through Fat Pat.

All this thinking made me freeze. Luckily, Lewis had come back in, so we started talking about his attraction to Asian food. I said he was more Asian than me, and she asked where I was from.

Yay!!!

I said I was from HK, and then I asked her, already knowing the answer. She said she was from HK, but she was born here. I was about to call her a CBA, but then figured out this was still a work environment.

Lewis said something about organising a Korean BBQ, and I didn't take him too seriously so just said yeah. He mentioned it again as we began parting to return to our chairs, and I suggested this Friday or next. Maria though didn't seem too interested. As I returned to my chair, I wondered why all of a sudden Lewis was so keen on organising something like this. After all, he had never initiated anything like this with our group...was he interested in Maria?

We finished at about 12:30, where I returned to my room to have my soup and bread lunch. I think I'm getting sick of it now, lol.

I spent the rest of the day prepping my files for tomorrow's list.

I drove the office car home after work. It's not really the office car, they hired it only because we're in the process of getting another one. It's a Nissan Micra, which means it's a really really small car. I wasn't even sure if the suitcase would fit in the back. Not used to such a small car, hope I don't get killed on the freeway tomorrow.

SLO snub

No gym in the morning, I woke up kinda late. Got to work at 9am. I was checking my banking sites when that Paul guy came in and closed the door, asking if I had a moment. I wasn't sure at first what he wanted, and was curious, until he mentioned my SLO application, then it clicked.

He told me that I wouldn't be getting an interview. He said there were other candidates who were much stronger, and there were also externals. He did say that I had a good reputation in the office, although I don't know if that was just a throwaway feel good line to soften the blow.

I smiled and said it was ok, that I understood and appreciated him telling me. But it was like a delayed brick coming towards my face. As soon as he stepped out, I felt...confused. I had pretty much told myself and others like Mary that I wasn't expecting it anyway, but now it was real. Reality had smashed me in the face.

It weighed on my mind for the rest of the day.

Not even an interview?

The naive me believed his comment about having a good reputation, and that maybe they just wanted me to stay longer before giving me such a position. But then again, if my reputation was so good, why couldn't I get even an interview? Would it be too much to be asking for 20 minutes of your lives??

My instant reaction was to start looking for jobs. Having seen what goes on here, I was confident I'd find a place willing to pay me $80,000. I wanted someone to talk to, someone to consult. Alanna was the first and best person, but I couldn't really tell her I tried to apply for a position she applied for as well. I was tempted to ask Genie but didn't.

I told myself to think about it and not make any rash decision. Perhaps I was over-valuing myself. Perhaps I did need to stay here for a year. Maybe I should just stay and do a "fuck you" to prove myself.

But then again, could I really afford to spend another year earning less than what I could possibly earn elsewhere? Money, after all, was the ultimate goal, wasn't it? Who could blame me for taking more money elsewhere? I know I'm replaceable. A small part of me wanted them to regret me leaving, but I knew it wouldn't happen.

At lunch I ran to the gym to do my knee exercises. I had taken my gear so I could walk home, but going to the gym was more out of anger. I felt angry. I needed to expend my energy. I needed to clear my mind.

I returned afterwards and had my bread and soup in the office. I spent the day doing various tasks, but in the latter half I stayed till 6pm to finish off that TI folder. Being snubbed motivated me. I don't know how long this motivation will last - it might last just today, tomorrow, a week, a month, or a year, but I hope it lasts forever. I was now motivated again. This was something I needed.

I saw that DS and Paul were amongt the few still in the office. I went to change into my gear to walk home, and saw Paul in DS' office. A small part of me thought they were talking about the decision to not give me an interview, but I knew the world didn't revolve around me.

I logged out at around the same time as DS and wanted to avoid him at the lifts, in case Paul thought I was trying to influence him. I got to the lifts and waited, and then DS came out. We talked about the police and their issues as we walked before parting at his train station.

I walked home, still undecided as to how I should react. I feel like I'm looking for guidance, but it's something only I can decide. Do I stay and tell everyone to fuck off, or do I leave for more money?

I had tentatively agreed to take no action for the time being to see how things unfold. Two things mainly: if I get the LO2 position, then it may cool me off a bit. Of course, if I don't, then it's an obvious sign they don't want me there. Also, if they bring in someone completely unsuitable for the SLO role, then I'm out. I'll go make more money elsewhere.

Bedside hearing!

No gym in the morning, it was raining so I just didn't feel like it. Besides, I guess I should start weaning myself off these flexion exercises, and I suppose this half lazy way is the way to do it. Also, my left shoulder was still hurting. It was hurting so bad that I actually considered taking the day off work. I figured I'd just go to work to see how it is, and then if it gets worse then I can just call a sickie.

I got to work at 9am and resumed working on my folder of TIs. I finally got to have lunch in the office. I went to the supermarket at lunchtime to get a loaf of bread and a can of soup, then went back to the office to eat it. I really enjoyed the peace and quiet of it all.

Shortly after I finished Sarah came and told me she was doing the freshies, and one involved being at a hospital but she had a conference at 2pm. She gave the cop my number, and lo and behold, I was later called. I told Sarah to see what she wanted to do. Apparently they wanted us at the hospital at 3:30-4pm, and it was already 2:30pm. I was pretty excited to go and volunteered, but Sarah didn't really say anything. I waited and there was no news, so I figured maybe because it was an SLO-only thing that I wasn't allowed, so I quietly resumed my work.

Then she and Mary came and told me that DS had given me approval to go.

Yay!

I was so excited, this would be my first bedside hearing. The only trouble now was, how was I going to get there in less than an hour? I spoke to the female cop on the phone, and she eventually suggested that they would drive me there.

Oh my god I'm going to be chaffeured in a cop car!

I could just picture it now - sirens screaming as we race towards the hospital, just so this lawyer can get there in time.

But nope, when I met the guy, Barry, he just drove pretty normally towards the destination. He did have a siren but didn't use it. We made some chit chat on our way there. Once we got to the hospital, we spent a bit of time looking for ICU, and eventually found it.

There were a few other cops there, and one lady called Clare came and spoke to me. At first she seemed unable to structure her sentences, and then said "ok let me start again". I thought she was kinda pretty, but then again, I find a special attraction to most female cops.

We waited around for the Register and defence lawyer to come. The def was still excreting, which was pretty gross. I think I could smell it. The Register arrived and we stood around awkwardly. I didn't know if I should make conversation with him, but ended up making some small talk occasionally. He seemed like he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

When the defence lawyer finally came, she spent a good ten minutes talking to her client before we started the hearing. It was over fairly quickly, just got a new date. And that was it. Then Barry drove the Register back to court, the defence lawyer back to her office, and me back to my office. By now it was smashing down rain. I may have revealed a little bit more than I should've, saying my licence was suspended at one stage albeit due to no fault of my own.

I ran in the rain back to my office after he dropped me off, and everyone but Caroline had gone, although I bumped into that Paul guy at the lifts. I went to the toilet and checked my emails before I left.

Jai's 1st birthday / running in the rain

Yesterday I bummed around at home until my parents came back with the car before noon. I then drove to the gym at the Wick to do my knee exercises and some ab work. I then went to the toy store outside to look for a toy for Bush's son. It didn't take me long at all to find this little basketball hoop which you attach to the wall which came with three small balls you could throw into the net.

Perfect.

I bought that and had it wrapped. The shop was pretty busy with only one store attendant. I can't believe the shop was so popular. I thought it might be a good place for Evonne to work, and looked around for a hiring notice but didn't see any.

After that I went downstairs to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners, then went back home to get the invite Bush had sent me as I didn't have the address.

Off I went then, to the place. I stopped in the city for petrol and then started the drive. It was a nice drive listening to my music even though it started raining. I used the GPS to find the exact location, and got there before most people even though I was 15 minutes late.

WHen I got out of my car and went to the boot to get the present, I heard Shady call out for me. I went to greet him and we went into the place together. It was nicely set up with about ten tables in the hall, decorated by a theme of blue and white balloons. Bush's dad was holding the baby was we went in, and I offered him the present playfully. He tried to pull the strings but wasn't strong enough. Cute. Lucky I had it wrapped, because every other present placed under the table was wrapped too.

Shady and I stood around for a while, before finding a table at the back. We talked for a while, mainly about work, and he mentioned to me that he and Kylie weren't talking. Soon, Bush's other colleagues arrived and sat at our table. Bush's colleague's husband sat next to me so I talked to him a bit. It seemed a bit awkward at first, but found out he was into triathlons and that, so I got to ask him some questions about running and all that.

One of Bush's colleagues Nadia was also there. I'd seen her a few times before and thought she had a unique look to her. I thought there was some eye contact between us until later in the night I figured the friend she brought along was actually her female partner - they were lesbians.

Most of the time I was just content to sit silently and watch the surroundings while everyone else talked. Later Carrie arrived. I felt a bit bad because she had called to say she'd be late, and I said I'd save her a seat. I didn't know that couple would sit next to me, and so now Carrie had to sit on the other side of them. But she has good social skills, so she blended in nicely.

I tried to make it up by accomodating her to the front to check out the front. It was all pretty amazing. There was a chocolate fondue, the birthday cake looked like a teddy bear, and there were hand made marshmellows. Sometimes Shady and I would hang around the front where the food was, and the elders eyed us suspiciously, lol.

Kylie arrived later and sat next to Carrie. They were kinda far from us so I didn't get to talk to them much at the table. I was getting pretty hungry, so was glad when the food was finally served. There was this nice egg like thing they made into a thin bowl, and then you could choose two types of curries to go along with it. It was pretty spicy, and I wanted more, but I didn't see anyone else going for seconds so I didn't.

After that we mainly sat around and talked and went for the sweets. It was nice when the couple had taken our seats so Shady and I could sit next to Carrie. We talked about work and catching up, and there was a stupid moment where when Carrie asked what nights would be good, I said Friday nights would be good and I noticed a pause from her. Then I remembered - I had told her I couldn't make her birthday drinks because I had basketball training on Friday nights!

Fook!!!

Ah well, it could be easily explained I suppose. Perhaps I meant 'night' and not in the plural in my message. Or perhaps I figured we'd be in season at that time and there wouldn't be any training. Or perhaps training would only go on for the next few weeks.

Anyway, she seemed to be a bit ok about it. She asked Shady and I about our love lives. We had a good talk about investment properties. Shady said it wasn't hard, just needed about $15,000. I learnt from Carrie that the rent charged could not really cover the whole mortgage payments, which was nice to know as I thought otherwise.

At the end, Shady went to the toilet and Carrie asked me about basketball. I was careful, and just said I was starting a team in May.

We decided to leave sine everyone else at our table had left. Kylie and Shady really went through the night without talking. It was so obvious to Carrie. It made me think about Bobby and I.

When we left, it was decided that Shady would follow my car - we were all headed back to the city, but Carrie was going to a different part. I had Shady follow me until the main freeway where he just sped off. I tried to catch up but to no avail. He recently bought a new car and moved into his investment property. I reckon I'd be where he is if I hadn't of gotten into gambling and whoring.

Today
Swimming with A was cancelled today due to the pouring rain. I was relieved he suggested it because I wasn't really in the mood anyway. I had two pieces of toast and then bummed around at home while my parents went out.

I then made the spontaneous decision to go out for a jog. It had been raining, but seemed to have stopped temporarily. For some reason I just felt like running in the rain. Not long after I went out, it started raining lightly. By the time I reached the track, the rain was about medium.

It felt a bit hard getting started at first. I felt like I wasn't going to make the whole lap. It wasn't really the rain, just the fact that I hadn't done it in a while. The rain didn't impede me too much. I was searching for 'the zone'. I had talked about it last night with that guy - where you just get into a zone where running becomes like walking and you don't feel tired doing it. I used that search for the zone to keep me going.

One time, as I was running, I heard footsteps approaching fast. I figured it was some fast runner, picturing a guy taller and bulkier than me. It turned out to be a little kid half my size. He couldn't have been more than 10. I saw him cross the road to his dad who was yelling for him to run around the tree. They were both wearing watches and checked the time. My god, and I thought I was keen.

The park was pretty desserted because of the rain, but there were a few runners and walkers. It was good to see I wasn't the only one psycho enough to run in the rain. I was glad when I finally did the lap, as it felt like an achievement. I had been telling myself I could rip off my jersey when I finished as it was now sticking to me and I felt like my nipples could be seen. But I decided not to, and walked back home for a warm shower.

At around 1pm I picked up Malay for lunch. We went to pick up Shuing who would only come out at 1:30pm. Obviously he needed to place a bet on something at a particular time. He finally came out and we drove to the Wick. Malay re-told him what he had shown me earlier about the ventilation at a shopping centre falling onto his car. His car has really bad luck.

We went to KFC because I had a craving for dirty chicken. We sat on stools facing the wall which didn't really facilitate conversation, but one interesting topic was Shuing finally giving us a hint about what G did which accorded him Shuing's diagnosis of mentally ill. He still wouldn't tell us exactly what it was, but he did say it was illegal. He said it wasn't perverted, and it wasn't violent. I wondered what it was. But Shuing said that because of that, he was now on 'watch' and we should be on hand to help him if anything happened.

We then went to the supermarket as I needed to get cat food. We talked a bit more as I gathered the cat food into my basket.

After that I dropped them both home, and there was a tentative plan for movies next week. I wasn't so sure because of budgetary reasons, but guess we'll see.

Lunches with Genie, Bush and Sarah

On Tuesday I did the Scrambletown list. It was actually easier than expected. The only difficulty was that I had all my matters in Court 6, and then the cofficer moved some to Court 5, so I had to go in and out between them.

I also met Joe, who was one year my senior in high school. Apparently he has gotten into law and works at the same firm as Elleon. We even did a mention together, which was pretty unbelievable.

At the end of the day I had to get a copy of a recog from the registry, and waited around with the defendant for him to sign it. Kinda awkward, he probably thought I didn't think much of him, but I really didn't care.

I had a really nice and cheap chicken roll with gravy for lunch, which made me think to have it on other days, but couldn't think of a place in the city that makes them.

I finished at about 3pm and got back to the office just after 5pm.

On Wednesday I spent the majority of the day pondering as to whether I should buy Naby some medicine for her cough or not. I went to lunch with Genie. She asked me if I felt like Macca's so we went. I thought she wanted to talk about something juicy because we had never gone out to lunch alone before. But turns out we just talked about the normal work stuff.

Finally, in the late afternoon I went out to the pharmacy to get it. I bought a chapstick for myself, and asked a girl there what was good for a cough with phlem. She gave me a bottle of cough medicine and I bought it. It cost $20.

As I walked back to work, now with the physical bottle representing reality, I questioned if I should even do this. It seemed kinda stupid, and would probably show I cared too much. I decided to leave it in the office and think about it over thre next few days.

After work I got changed and went to the gym. At the lifts I bumped into DS. I noticed him limping and without thinking I asked "you're not limping are you?" He seemed a bit surprised and then I wondered if this had just been a permanent thing I had never noticed and also a sensitive issue for him. He said something about karate and then jogging without warming up. We walked to his train station together talking about work.

I did my knee exercises at the gym then was on my way to meet the guys for bball training, when Bo called and said it was called off due to probable rain. I tried to suggest other venues but they were all booked. So that was it.

On Thursday I had a mention in court in the morning. It was at Central. Ogre turned out to be there too. We both laughed as we watched a barista shake and massage a PP, with the recent CLE on court etiquette in our minds. Pretty damn funny.

Christina was also there, and she offered to do my mention for me, but I said I wanted to do it. I was tired of being in the office, and more importantly, I wanted to get my face out there to the courts. I can't believe this, but now I was looking forward to being in court, as opposed to that usual scared/nervous feeling. Or maybe it was just because it was a simple mention.

Sarah found out her results for the bar exam, and she passed. I was pretty happy for her, but was sad that now I was going to have a new supervisor. I sent her a pugs picture to celebrate and gave her my gingerbread man. She seemed pretty excited too, below that modesty she usually has.

She invited everyone to drinks after work, I had planned to go but then changed my mind. I went down to level 10 at one stage to give Wendy F a file, and then went to talk to Alanna. I asked her if she was going to drinks and she said no, then asked me. I said no because I wanted a haircut and she started cross-examining me to see if that was the real reason. She had also said the previous day that DS leaves work early on Fridays which meant I could do the same. I had never noticed it and wondered if she was trying to trick me. If she was, it wasn't very nice because she's like the person I trust most at work.

After that we actually emailed back and forth a bit about DS looking like a hedgehog, lol. Also found out later that DS actually does leave early sometimes, and it happened on a Friday, so guess she wasn't trying to trick me.

I met up with Bush for lunch because she was in the city. We went to that small Japanese restaurant inside the small complex that William took me to before we went to karaoke with Ele. We talked about our jobs, and the politics in it. She said before she felt more ambitious to climb the ladder, but now she was more content with things. She also said Shady and Kylie weren't talking now, because of disputes over work. Basically Shady was making quite a bit of money but complained about being moved to Scrambletown. Kylie was still looking for a permanent role and on a lower salary, so told him he was lucky and shouldn't complain.

I also told Bush about John's bucks and upcoming wedding. I told her I felt money had changed him, but she said even from uni she could tell that money and status were important for him. I felt like I could really open up to Bush. She felt the same, telling me about marriage, and how it involved a lot of compromises and putting up with the other person.

It was good to see her.

After work I did end up going for a haircut. At first I wanted a really nice haircut and was willing to pay around $40 for it. But then I realised my hair was still pretty short and I only needed a 'transition' haircut from my shaved head to some form of style now, so didn't see what they could really do, so I went to thet barber shop in the city that charges $10. Already I was starting to regret it. He just didn't really get what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted the back and sides shorter so I could grow the top, and he made me look like a GI Joe right out of 1990.

After that I went on a bit of a walk looking for a toy shop to get a present for Dush's son's birthday on Saturday, but couldn't find anything, and when I went home the car was gone so I couldn't even go to the gym.

On Friday I had planned to spend the day reading a folder of transcripts. I was kinda looking forward to having lunch in the office and saving some money. In the morning before work, I was also reading that brothels forum where I started a thread about girls ripping guys off, and one guy mentioned something about the girls sending 'generic' texts which they send out to all customers. Then I looked at that message Naby sent me in January when she returned from Korea - it did not have my name on it. Now it did look like a generic text, and it disappointed me. So I decided not to see her tomorrow.

I sent her a message saying I'd be busy and couldn't make it, but I'd see her after her holiday. I wasn't expecting a reply and didn't get one. I was starting to think whether she even had that phone anymore. Not replying to two messages seemed completely at odds with how she treats me. But anyway, I cemented my decision by transferring the money I was going to use for it into my high interest savings account. Well done.

Anyway, I was a bit disappointed when Mary sent an email in the morning inviting people to lunch to celebrate Sarah making the bar. I replied yes, because I didn't go to the drinks, and she was my supervisor after all.

At around 12:45, Sarah and I headed off. Mary had to go to court and would be late, but I was surprised no one else was coming. Particularly Jennifer, since I saw her as a bit of a suck up and this would be her chance to do more sucking up. After all, how else does a student end up getting a position made up for her after her summer clerkship finishes?? Yes, I don't like her.

So Sarah and I headed to the restaurant together. No bigge, because we haven't really had that much time to get to know eachother (as well as Alanna anyway) so I was looking forward to it. But when we got to the restaurant, the reality of what appeared to be the situaiton hit me. A lot of women were looking at her. Sarah is a very attractive person. She's blonde, slim and tall. She has that intelligent look about her which really ices things, and I reckon she'd be the envy of 99% of the women there.

And here I was having lunch with her. Wow. That made me a bit nervous as we sat down at a table. I realised she had really good posture while I slumped, making our height difference even more noticeable. She asked me about my background, which I wasn't expecting, so I ended up giving a really brief one. I asked her where she was before this place, and she told me. She seemed to have issues with how they recruit here, and I suspect that may be part of the reason she's leaving.

After a while we were switched to a larger table which made me feel more comfortable as I wasn't as close to her. Mary then turned up and we talked about work and baristas. One topic was who would be my supervisor after Sarah leaves. We went through the possible candidates, and Mary said Christina was keen. I don't know what that was about, but I figured she wanted to show she could supervise someone and I was the perfect bait. I'd hate for that to happen. Rolling through the candidates in my mind, I could think of only Steve being a suitable candidate. Why not just promote Steve, then have Moira and me replace him and Sarah??? Problem solved.

The food was good, and I liked how we split the bill. I would've really hated it for one of them to shout.

After lunch Mary had to return to court so Sarah and I walked back to the office. The lift was packed but when we walked out I managed to make a joke which made her laugh.

Also, when Mary had sent that invite around, I was annoyed enough to update my fb status as "why can't I just die in peace?" which prompted Bo to call me to see if I was alright, lol. Going by that, I reckon he's a pretty good friend.

I had walked to work that day, and I walked back home. Partly to save money, but also because I felt like it. When I got home, I drove to the gym and did my knee exercises and really had a hard workout on my shoulders and arms. I felt like I had been slacking off this week, and recently seeing a picture of Serge Ibaka motivated me. That guy is REALLY cut man.

I think I went too hard, because now my left shoulder hurts. I could feel a tinge after the workout last night, so that should've been my hint. It was raining this morning, so our morning workout with Malay was cancelled. I had wanted to work out on the courts, so that was ruled out too.

The post-bucks damage

On Saturday after Naby I drove to pick up Malay. When I got there, he said Thai was spending time with his wife (nearly due) so we called Brain and went to pick him up. I found it slightly amusing that no matter when we call him, he's always at home and ready and willing to come out. He must lead a pretty boring life. Only question is, where does his money go?

Anyway, we went to the Wick and bought some pizza from Eagle Boys. We bought three pizzas at the behest of Malay even though I thought that was a bit too much. We went to the shopping centre to eat it, and it was pretty much empty since it was going to close in an hour. I kinda liked it, but I think Brain thought it was sad.

We mainly talked about G and Bobby being cheap. I said the difference between them was that Bobby's cheapness takes advantage of others, while G just keeps it to himself. But as we were talking, I felt a bit uncomfortable because Brain wasn't exactly the most free-spending guy on the planet. I noticed he was very quiet throughout. Particularly when Malay and I were talking about Bobby wanting to go to the arcades and then not playing, just watching us spend our money. I remember Brain did that once.

We didn't finish our pizzas, but after that we went to that chocolate cafe across the road. I said I didn't want anything because I was so full, but Malay insisted and bought me a mint green tea, which I gave him the money for. We sat and talked as we watched car after car try to park in front of my car. There was plenty of space, but it gave two drivers enough doubt to drive away.

We talked about money a bit, I think Malay earns around $60k. Brain seemed to keep commenting on the cleaveages of women walking on the street. Maybe it's a bit hypocritical of me, but at that stage my mind was focused on money, and women were the last thing on my mind.

I had also told them about the bucks night and how upset I was about blowing that much money. Grrr. I also noticed that Brain had a habit of cutting people off in conversation.

After that I drove them both home.

Sunday
I didn't go to the courts, mainly because I didn't have enough time, but also wanted to be early for swimming so we could get a lane to ourselves. I went down to the garage first and cleaned up some very very light scratches on the left hand side of the car. I thought polish would've been required but it came off with some scrubbing with the cloth.

I then walked to the pool, and got there before A. I waited about 5 minutes before he came from the gym. We managed to get a lane to ourselves for about half the time before a lady joined us. She seemed to be preoccupied with the pace of everyone, at one time signalling us to go when we were at the shallow end talking. I had finished so I left the pool. I did 11 laps and A did 10.

A drove me home, and I had some breakfast and a shower. I didn't really have anything planned, so I walked to the gym in the Wick and did my knee exercises and some weights. I then bought quarter chicken and chips and ate it in the shopping centre. I walked back home and had a bit of a lie down thinking about Naby before Shuing called. He wanted to meet up. We organised to meet at 5pm, and as it was only about 3pm, I decided to go shoot some hoops.

I went to the courts and there were a lot of people there, but a few half courts were still free. I shot around on my normal one for a while, occasionally glancing at the other courts to see if they were looking for someone for a game. But nada.

I was close to going when a guy came over and asked me if I wanted to play. It was a group of randoms put together, but they were all non-Asian, and pretty tall or bulky.

I must say I was a bit intimidated, mainly by their size, but also because they were athletic, I was scared my knee would be pushed too hard and re-injured.

I mainly tried to stay with my guy defensively, who was the smallest on the other team but still quite a bit bigger than me. He didn't have the exact fundamentals, but knew enough to know what he was doing. Whenever I had the ball, he felt like a big bully coming up to me to take the ball off me. I couldn't shake him off, and I was too fearful to push too hard on my knee to cross him over or run past him, so most of the time I just passed it.

I had to really try to box him out, because that's how he scored most of the time, but I did get mine back as I hit some nice shots.

In the second or third game, two guys (one Asian) had joined, and the one Asian guy (quite built and solid) set a pick for me when the ball was being checked. You could see the play coming a mile away. But it was executed anyway, as I caught the ball and did a turn around jumper - swish. Perfect execution.

I left after the third game as I was already late to meet Shuing.

I went home and put on my shirt, then drove to Chinksford to meet Shuing. He got there the same time as I did as we parked near eachother. Malay had to work and G was too lazy to come out.

We went to the pub as Shuing wanted to watch a soccer game. I told him I couldn't even buy him a drink because of all the money I blew at the bucks.

We talked about Amanda a bit, and how stupid G was to ask about her scar on her back. I asked him about Bobby's cooking thing, and so we talked a bit about the girl G brought, Ele, and Bobby. He told me he forecasted Bobby losing his job because he spent too much time at work emailing the group of guys.

I remember looking at the facebook photos of Ele at his place having fun and being very jealous. I felt like it was that part of the cycle again where everyone abandons me for him. And it all came down to money - he had the money to buy his own place, to host his own things (yet cheap enough to have other people buy ingredients and cook for him). This motivated me even more to save (countered by the Naby effect).

But after hearing Shuing say this, I was actually glad he spent so much time emailing and organising this. In fact, now I want him to do even more! We'll look at the long term and see who wins.

After that we went to get some takeaway for him to take home, and then we parted.

Today
Wow, today I really spent most of the day working (and thinking about Naby). I spent the morning preparing a file to serve, and then the rest of the day for tomorrow's Scrambletown list. Felt good to be preoccupied.

I had to wait until 6pm for Wendy F to give me a file, but I didn't mind.

Finally Naby

Yesterday morning I went to the courts for a shootaround. I was hitting a lot of my set shots and my form felt good. As I was shooting, I thought to myself: is it worth it to throw all this away for punting? I've got a good job, I've got my family, I can play basketball - it could all be tainted with a bad flavour if anyone found out.

I also thought about how I had made such a big step towards becoming a better person by stopping gambling. That was one of my two sins and I have managed to cut that off. Question is, will I be able to complete my transformation by cutting off punting?

I also made myself make 20 jump shots from the elbows just to make sure I was working on my jump shot. I find it hard not to stick my leg out, as oddly, it gives me balance and increases the chances of the shot going in. But I keep telling myself to stick to proper form if I want to avoid another knee injury.

I'd also been checking out the NBA news on ESPN, and there were a lot of articles about how Kobe worked out for an extra hour in Miami after losing to the Heat. It made me want to work harder in my job, and it made me want to be the perfect person even more by quitting punting. If he was so focused on his job, why couldn't I be?

After that I felt like doing more exercises, as I really wanted to burn some energy. I went home and called Malay to see if he wanted to go for a jog, as I also wanted to tell him about my bucks night, but he wasn't answering, so I just had a shower and made some instant noodles for breakfast.

I bummed around at home typing up the last entry before my parents came home with the car at about 1pm. I figured I'd have some time so I went downstairs to wash the car. It was peaceful and nice.

After that I had a quick shower as I had gotten all sweaty doing it, changed and then went to the Wick to drop off one of my old black suits for cleaning. I had also called the shop to book for Naby. When I first asked if she was working, the guy checked for a moment and I half expected him to tell me she was on holidays or something, which would explain why she didn't return my message.

But nope, he said she would be on at 3pm, si I booked for an hour.

There was a bit of traffic because there was some music festival on. As I watched all the young Aussie kids walking to it, I thought about how dumb it was to go to something like that just to blow all your money on booze. In the end, the corporations always win, and they walk into the trap just like that, all in the name of 'fun'.

I could see I was going to be a bit late, and pondered calling them to let them know, but then figured when I get there I usually wait about 10 minutes for Naby anyway, and I'm sure they have late clients all the time.

I started speeding a bit towards the end and got there about 15 minutes late. They were renovating the outside of the shop, so I had to make my entrance swifter than usual. I went in and the usual guy opened the door. He said my name and joked I was late. I laughed and said the traffic, and he laughed as well.

I went to the bathroom and heard him yell something like "Naby working". I ended up waiting in that room closest to the bathrooms. I waited maybe about five minutes before he told me to come. I walked out and saw Naby standing there, smiling. I tried to detect any sort of emotion on her face as a result of ignoring my message, but nothing.

She held my hand and led me up the stairs as usual. She said something like long time no see, can't really remember as I was really thirsty. When we got to the stairs I asked for a drink. She went to this small fridge and asked what I wanted. I said anything and she asked if I wanted coffee. I looked in the fridge and just said the yellow one, and she took out two cans of that yellow drink. We went up another level, which looked kinda new to me but she said it wasn't.

We went into the room and she went back out again as usual. As she went out she said "bye bye" and laughed. I said "bye, next girl" but didn't prompt the usual angry playful response. She came back and said hello. I was taking my shoes off and she said I last came on Valentine's Day. I was soooo surprised she actually knew that day was Valentine's Day because at that time there was no mention of it. I asked "huh?" and she repeated it. She said she was smart for remembering and I said yes.

I had initially dropped my clothes on the floor, not knowing where to put them, but then she took them and hung it up on the hook behind the door, and pushed my shoes to the side against the wall.

She said she was going to Hong Kong for two weeks for a holiday. I asked if it was for work or holiday, and she repeeated it was for a holiday. I asked if she was going by herself and she said with a friend. I asked if the friend worked here and she said overseas.

I saw the listerine on the floor and said it causes mouth cancer. She said she knew. I told her a story about a man having part of his face cut out due to cancer.

We went into the shower. There was little eye contact between us at first, and she didn't do that thing where she leans over to wash my back, bring our faces closer to eachother. But towards the end, I looked at her, she sensed it, looked back and made a funny face. I stuck out my tongue and blew, and she made an offended/shocked face, lol. I asked when she was leaving for Hong Kong and she said the 24th. At one point she tried to give me a peck, but I pulled back. She tried again and I pulled back. She playfully made an angry face and I said "ok ok ok" and went in for a peck.

I exited the shower first and started drying myself. While she was still showering, I took her towel, deciding to hide it. When she came out to look for it and saw it missing, she knew straight away I had it. I gave it back to her and started helping her dry. I noticed there was a circular bandaid on her shoulder, and asked why. She said she was still sick, and there was another one on her other shoulder.

She went to the tablestand to get things ready. When I saw her put out the ice cube, I said not to because it wasn't good. She said something I couldn't understand. I held her from behind and then she turned around and we pecked on the lips before she sat down on the bed. For a moment, it was like she didn't know what to do, before she started kissing my nipple.

We ended up kissing and I got on top of her as we maneuvered onto the bed. We kissed some more before I went down to her breasts. I noticed she didn't really want my hand down there so I didn't push it. But I did kiss my way down there. When I got to her tummy she said it tickled and I blew into her belly button, which made her laugh. Then I went down on her for a while.

I went back up and kissed her breasts again. I noticed she hadn't put the condom on me yet and wondered if that was a sign. But after a while she put it on and I entered her. At one point I licked her lips, and she stuck out her tongue. I stuck out my tongue and blew, and she said she didn't know how to do it. I taught her and she did it. We went at it for a while, before she said "me on top?" She noticed I was sweating so when we were changing positions she got a small towel and cleaned my forehead. She then got on top of me. There wasn't much eye contact at first, but then when I looked up at her she started making more eye contact.

At one stage she thought I was finished, and laid on top of me, before I started to thrust slowly again which gave her the hint. She started riding me again before I finished. She started making funny faces at me, and winked at me. I stuck out my tongue again and blew.

She got off me and then laid on her tummy next to me. I turned and held her, putting my leg over her. She said I had lost weight. I was like "huh?" and she pointed to the mirror above. I said it was a magic mirror and she laughed. After a short while I went back to lying on my back, prompting her to make a "???" sound as if to see what was wrong/why I wasn't holding her. She followed and turned around on her back to sleep on my arm. I had told myself to just keep talking to a minimum, but couldn't help it and started to talk. I showed her that 0, 5, 10, 15, 20 game you play at karaoke. She said she doesn't go to karaoke and said she didn't know the game, and ended up beating me pretty quickly, lol. We ended up being quiet again as had her eyes closed and I could hear and feel her breathing on me.

She tried to kiss me and I playfully pulled back (again). When I acquiesced and came forward for a kiss, she put her hand on my mouth and kissed the back of her hand.

I then asked her if she knew what a bucks night was, and she didn't. I explained it to her, and then told her about the previous night. She asked if it was an Australian restaurant, and I said yes. I told her it was too expensive. I also said I didn't like it because I was thinking of her. She laughed and said "really?" I said yes, and that I was covering my eyes. She said "I don't believe you", and I said my friends were trying to pull my hands away from my eyes, which made her laugh even more. We would play with eachother's hands a bit. I remember I was holding her hand, and then she switched it up so that our fingers entangled.

Then after that, she went to sleep again. I wasn't asleep, but went into that nice, quiet, eyes closed state where you're just comfortable being almost sleep but still conscious of what's happening. I was holding her with my right arm, then spread it out, then held her again.

I wasn't quite sure whether she was asleep or just lying there with her eyes closed. At one point I turned to her and kissed on her the cheek, but there was no reaction. Looked like she was asleep.

Then later, her clock started to ring. She didn't move. After a while, the ringing was still there and I lightly scratched her head with my right hand. She moved a bit and said "shiru", referring to the ringing and the buzzer. I asked what it meant but couldn't really catch her explanation. I later found out it means something like "I hate".

She made no rush to get up, and called me "chagiya" a few times. Finally she got out of bed and started fixing things up. She grabbed me in between the legs. I grabbed her nipple. She grabbed my nipple with her other hand, and I did the same with my other hand. Then we just laughed and broke it off. After a while I said I'd go shower first, so I did. I left the warm water running for her to shower and then I got dressed. When she finished, I said I'd see her next Saturday, and she said ok.

We walked out and I went down the stairs first. She told me to eat more. At the bottom, she said "bye [insert name here]" and I smiled and waved. I walked out, feeling somewhat happy, and went to my car.

Elleon lunch No.2 / John's bucks

Sometime on Thursday I had decided I'd see Naby on either Friday night or Saturday, depending on how John's bucks night went. Yesterday morning I was so excited I finally decided to send her a message to see if she'd be working on Saturday. But I didn't want to be too straight to the point, so I sent a message saying "Hi Naby...how are you? I miss you =)"

Of course, it was like 5:40am and I wasn't expecting a reply anytime soon - maybe before 3pm since that is when her shift starts.

Anyway, I went to the gym farily early, got my stuff done and then went back home before going to work. I was reading up on the file Melanie had given me just to familiarise myself with it. Later I heard Mary, Sarah and Steve talking in the corridors outside my room. I kept reading the file, and then went out to the bathroom. As soon as I did that, I wondered if they thought I felt they were talking too loud so I needed a break, because when I returned I noticed they had broken up.

I left the office with Sarah because we were both headed to court in the same direction. She told me that Caroline and Libby were going to the bar. I wasn't too surprised about Caroline, because she obviously had the experience, nor did I care since I didn't know her. But Libby? From what I know, she doesn't have much advocacy experience. I definitely have more than her. Hmmm.

Anyway, I went to court and waited outside the courtroom. I was expecting to see GS as I saw on the file he acted for the other side, but he never came, instead only the sol came. I met JS, who seemed like a fairly nice and friendly lady. She also introduced me to the cop in the matter.

Our matter got stood down to 11:15am, so we all went for a coffee. One thing I noticed was that JS and the cop were very chummy with eachother. It was obvious they had talked a lot about their private lives with eachother. They explained it was due to the long nature of the case, but it did strike me as a little odd.

They were explaining the case to me in more detail over coffee. No one actually had coffee, we all had apple juice. The whole case seemed to be pretty bad. I said the def must've had some balls to pull off something like this.

We returned to court, only to be told that it would start in about 20 minutes, so we went down to the cafe again where they bought some cookies to eat. I just went to the bathroom.

The matter finally started at 11:45am. We were before that judge who did my money laundering client. I wondered if he recognised me. Probably not. As he read out the judgment, I furiously took down notes. The way he explained it seemed a lot different to how JS and the cop had put it. There was a more human element to it. More sympathy. I don't know who was right.

When it finished, we talked a bit as we headed out of the building. I had checked my phone and still no message from Naby. But I wasn't too concerned since I had kept myself occupied. I also noted the time, and thought I'd be running late for lunch with Elleon - if it was still on, since she hadn't returned my email for about two days.

I was glad when I parted from JS and the cop (btw, I could see in some cases the cop eyeing me suspiciously, probably because he didn't know me, but it shows the nature of their work). As I walked back to the office with my trolley I called Elleon. It had begun to sprinkle a little.

She picked up, and almost immediately said sorry for not replying as she had been sick and had just sent me an email about 20 minutes ago. I said I hadn't been in the office. She said she was still up for lunch and we agreed to meet in about 10 minutes.

I went back to the office, put my things down and went to tell Melanie about the matter. She seemed like she wanted to have a bit of a chat about it, but I was in a rush to go to lunch, so I tried my best to keep it short.

Finally I left, deliberately not changing my status so that I was shown to be still at court. I went via a longer route to look for a place that sold small chocolates I could give her. I couldn't find any. When I got to the restaurant she wasn't there, so I thought I'd quickly go into the shopping centre to look for some chocolate.

I found some small green tea chocolate truffles and hurried back to the place. This time I saw her waiting in line inside. I went in and she saw me and said hi. I said I had a present and gave her the truffles, but took one out for myself. She seemed to appreciate it and started eating it. We waited in line before being shown two seats against a wall. We went there, but didn't feel too comfortable so left.

She suggested the place at the bottom of the shopping centre, so we went there, but that was packed too. Then I asked if she had tried pepper lunch before and she said no so I took her there.

On the way I told her about my case on Monday because she brought up the Druitt. She understood it and we had a good discussion about it. I liked how she understood it and I didn't have to explain the basics to her.

We went into the place, and she'd never been so she was studying the menu. I offered to pay, and this time she showed more resistance, saying I paid last time. But I paid anyway, because I just handed the cash to the waitress. It wasn't much anyway, only about $24, I was expecting more about $40.

We found a table in the outer part of the restaurant and sat down. We talked about work and our careers mostly. She said she was 'looking' but wasn't trying very hard, and that she knew my place had advertised recently. I told her the LOs would be advertised later in the month. She said she didn't think she had much of a chance, but I said I thought she had a pretty good chance.

So we talked about my work, and her experience going out to the Druitt. But I had planned to stay away from work and get to a more personal level to show a bit more interest. Since we had been talking about the west, I jokingly asked "so you don't go out to the wesside much?" She looked at me strangely and then I realised she had probably never seen this side of me, lol.

Also, I told her about the psychologist and was probably a bit too honest about it. I said how I was careful not to mention stuff like how I watch Saw movies, so she probably thinks I'm a psycho now.

Finally when she told me she had moved to Hurstville, it gave me a chance. She said she had only moved recently, living by herself, and hadn't done much unpacking. I asked if it was the first time she lived by herself, and she said she was by herself in Canberra for five years during uni. She was telling me about how she couldn't pick up normal tv stations, and I thought about offering to help, but then though that might be a bit sleazy.

She also asked if I had thought about moving out, and again I was too honest in saying I had plans to help my parents pay off the mortgage then use it as security to buy another place (more like a dream than a plan at this stage).

I asked her what she did in her spare time, and she said not much, so I asked if she played pool. She said she wasn't very good, and I asked her if she wanted to go play next Friday at the place underneath the cinemas. She laughed and said she was really bad, but it seemed like she was open to the idea.

I also told her that I was going to a bucks night and that I wasn't very happy with the price. I also said I didn't understand the mixing of food and women. I thought I was bordering into friendship territory here, but she tried to agree by saying that when she went a hens night she didn't see the amusement in it.

Anyway, I suggested leaving as I could feel I'd been out for lunch long enough. As we walked out of that small complex, she said she wasn't coming out to lunch again if I paid. I said she could "play for pool", then realised what I'd said and corrected myself to "pay for pool" and she didn't seem disinterested in the idea.

We walked back to around my office as she said she was going to the family court to inspect something. I brought up that guy who hangs around the courts but doesn't actually work there, and she knew what I was talking about and we both laughed about it. As we parted, I asked again if she'd be up for pool next Friday, but this time she said she had to check her schedule first and then get back to me. Hmmm. But I got a fairly positive vibe from her goodbye.

I returned to the office to see a whole stack of paper on my desk, but they were just copies of the same thing. In the late afternoon, I could hear Michael had come around, talking with Mary and Sarah. I went out to get a print out, and Mary made a remark about me which brought me into the conversation. So I stood there in Sarah's room as they talked firstly about work, and then about this new way of making cold coffee. I was waiting for an exit, and then finally just walked away when Mary jokingly asked Michael when he was coming back (but remember: a lot of truth is said in jest).

I left work at about 5:15pm, went home, a bit happier that I now had the car. I had $170 in my wallet, thinking that was more than enough since the guy organising the bucks only said it was $110.

I bummed around at home a bit before finally leaving. I spent a bit of time finding the place and then parking, but got there just after 7:30pm. I was outside the place but no one was around. So I called the organiser and he said everyone was inside. So I knocked on the door, and a small hole for mail opened, where a lady asked me for a name. I said John and she asked me to try again. I said the name of the organiser and she let me in.

It was a bit dark inside, but to my left I saw a table of Asian guys, so presumably that was them. It was confirmed when I saw John there, as well as Fam. I sat on one side of the table at the end. The waitress grabbed my chest as I sat down.

The guy next to me was Thuan, the guy opposie me was Tien. We didn't have to make much smalltalk as everyone seemed to be preoccupied with checking out the women. At first I felt a bit uncomfortable, but it was hidden underneath all the cheering.

Some of the waitresses were hot. There was one called Katie who looked like Delta Goodrem. She was definitely my favourite. But the guys seemed to like another blonde called Tara, and a brunette called Jasmine.

I was given some bread, and then asked to select from the menu. I picked the pasta and the lamb shanks.

The waitresses would go around and sit with guys, doing the sale and pepper thing, and sometimes just climb onto the table. After the pasta, apparently the main show started when another girl dropped in as one of the main dancers. I thought most of the waitresses looked better than her, but eh.

After that there was a break, and then Katie was one of the dancers. I could see that she saw me as a harmless nerd, as she'd sometimes tease me by making eye contact. After she had stripped off completely, she was at my table, took my glasses off, put it through the ring in her pussy, and then started dancing away onto other tables with it.

Although this got every other guy cheering and all rowdy, I was thinking "my fucking glasses!!! They're $600!!! Are they going to compensate me for it if they break it?!?!?!"

She went all the way to the other end of the restaurant before coming back and then later my glasses were returned. Guys from the next table were giving me high fives and guys at my table were telling me to smell it. Fark. My work glasses. My work glasses...

When we finished the main meal, they gave us a dessert menu. I couldn't believe the fucking prices. The cheapest was $80, and it went up to $150. I thought the guys had decided on buying two girls, but then fucking we ended up with four. Only a number of ice creams were given out. I got one but to be nice I just gave it off to someone else, and so whoever had ice cream was fed by the waitresses in a seductive way. At this stage I still figured that my $170 would be able to cover it.

But even at the end, some cunt ordered five Coronas, and then when the bill came, it was $230 each!!! Fucking hell!! I didn't have enough!

I quickly looked around for someone who could help. John was nowhere in sight, but I spotted Fam. And even he, presumably the richest guy there, only had $220. Now I was fucked.

I told the guy collecting the money I had $170 and needed t go to the ATM. He told me to tell the other Tien who organised it, but grabbed my arm to stay. I felt that to be a bit threatening, but later walked out anyway. Now the guys were deciding what to do. There was talk of going to the place where Naby works, and I felt my blood boil. I understood her job, it's always there in the back of my mind, but now seeing these boofheads and thinking about them treating Naby with disrespect really boiled my blood. That, plus the fact that I needed an ATM did not make me feel at ease.

Finally we decided to go to that shop nearby, but another small group went in their van, presumably to the place where Naby works. I thought about going with them just so I could pick Naby and keep her away, but I had to stay with the main group.

When we got to the shop, I went looking for an ATM. The pub across the road didn't have one, and another guy was also looking for one. We ended up going to the main street. His name was Alan, and he was John's brother-in-law. We talked a bit as we walked, seemed like an ok guy. He had been pretty quiet too throughout the night, but at times I seriously thought he was Spawn with a different haircut.

When I went to the ATM, I figured I'd just use my credit card, only to realise I had deliberately taken it out of my wallet weeks ago to stop myself from using it. I couldn't use my new credit card because the balance transfer will have to get paid before any new add ons, so I had to use my savings, and I withdrew all $300. Fuck.

When I walked back with Alan, we shared a good talk about how the place was a rip off and how it was dumb that we weren't even allowed to stand up.

We went into the shop where the group was, and I paid $70 to Tien and noticed he didn't give me the $10 change. John had already gone off with some girl. Later three girls were shown, and the guys pressed for me to pick a girl. I tried to put it back on them but they kept telling me to, so I just picked one. But the rooms were all full so I had to wait.

It was kinda fun sitting around with them talking. One guy kept telling us stupid jokes so that was funny. Also what had skipped me was how open we all were to being in a brothel. It seemed like it was just assumed this was something we all do.

Finally after a long time a room became available. I went off with a girl upstairs. Her name was AJ, and she was from Bangkok. It was only for half an hour, so I was mindful of the time. Throughout the whole thing, I kept thinking about Naby. It just didn't seem right that I was with someone other than Naby. Thinking about Naby actually turned me on.

It didn't last very long, as the whole strip tease at dinner had built me up quite a bit, so we showered and then walked back out, where I hung out with the guys. What surprised and shocked me was that not many other guys were going to go for it. Now I felt like I had been duped - I could've just sat around like they had, instead of throwing away another $130.

Also, there was another guy there who wasn't part of our group but was talking to us. He revealed himself to be a member on the forum I go to, and told us his user name. At that moment, to me, he looked like a sad little kid, talking about various girls in the shop he had tried. To me, he was lost. He needed a hobby, and this was not the right one to occupy his time with. He needed guidance.

After John came back, we waited for another guy before leaving. They were going to John's place for all night poker, but I knew I wasn't going to go. I parted ways with a drunk John and went back to my car. I planned to go see Naby, even though I wasn't in the mood anymore. I just needed to see her.

But there was one thing - I needed to get my credit card from home, and if the lights were on, then there was no way I could go back out as it was already 1am.

The saving grace was that the lights were on, so I couldn't go back out, which forced me to just go to bed. I felt a bit like shit.

The Naby thing had also played out through my mind during the day. At first, my initial reaction was to never see her again if she couldn't even be bothered to reply to my message. But then another side of me thought, maybe her phone isn't working? Maybe she's out of credit? Maybe she changed numbers? Hell, maybe she's out of Sydney. You thought Elleon was ignoring you but she had been sick, so there could always be an explanation.

Naby-diction

So yesterday after work I met up with Bo and Nick for a shootaround. We had decided to change training to Wednesdays in an attempt to get more people. It made sense too, since the games were going to be Wednesdays anyway.

I got there first, all the courts were full so I sat on the bench waiting. It was a nice atmosphere. Bo rocked up moments later in a Gilbert Arenas jersey. We talked as he wrapped his ankles. I get the feeling part of why he wants to play basketball is because he wants to get into fights, rather than the actual game itself. I sense Ron Artest trouble ahead.

We spotted Nick a while later, in his work clothes so neither of us really recognised him. He talked about politics at his work, and then Bo joined in, mainly talking about how cunning women are at work, how nice they seem to be when they're around. I thought about Christina and silently agreed.

After Nick got changed, we joined the game in front of us, added a guy and played four on four. The guys on the other team were pretty good. I had been watching them all along. One of them was a good dribbler and excellent shooter, another chunky guy had some quick moves too. As I looked at them just before we started, I realised I had now gone up a level from the Saturdays at Hurstville.

The guy I was marking was a skinny but quick guy. I was sure he could out-speed me, and he did it on a couple of occasions. I could have kept up but I wasn't prepared to go full on in a game like this and risk hurting my knee. Question is, when will I be prepared?

I missed all my jumpers, but made the one that count - we were one point away from winning. I checked the ball, Nick came up for a screen. I took it, he cut, and I kept looking for the pass as I kept dribbling. It wasn't there. He told me to shoot it. I kept looking for the pass, until I reached the baseline and hoisted a fade away, which went in. Game over.

That was the only game we played, as we just stood there talking about the proposed team. I did express my "concerns" about Phil, since he had never played full court before, but I was sure they were adamant about having him on the team. Also, that guy who can dunk is now not such a certainty. So there goes the perfect team. Oh well, I was proud of my addition of Abdi at least.

After that I walked to the train station with Nick where we parted.

Today
I really had nothing to do today, so I decided to busy myself by reading a folder of TIs in a trial for next month. I would occasionally check the share prices of some shares throughout the day.

I tried to save money by not spending anything again today, but ended up going out for a walk to Central and bought some chicken tenders for $5, and then went back to the office for my bread and soup.

Elleon and I had previously emailed back and forth about lunch tomorrow, but my last email confirmed the time and she hasn't replied yet. I'm thinking that it may be a good thing if she cancels, because then I save some money as I was planning to shout. She doesn't seem that interested.

Towards the latter part of the afternoon, my mind began thinking more and more of Naby. I was missing her. I wanted to see her. I needed to see her. I thought about texting her, but didn't want to do it during work hours.

I thought about going straight after work, but last night I had shaved and missed a spot, so I had this disgusting patch of hair on my side jaw, and I wanted to get rid of that before seeing her, so that was out of the question. I needed the car. At the end of the day, I called home to my mom and asked if the car was home. She said it was.

Ok, this is it, I'm going to pick up the car and go see Naby.

I began getting very eager, in a hurry, even though I wasn't late for anything. On the bus, I kept wanting the driver to change to a faster lane. I quickly went to my garage to check and........no car.

Disappointed, but at least I had saved some money, if even for a few days.

I found myself asking, has Naby become an addiction?