I miss Naby...

I miss Naby...

New coffee shop plus karaoke

No gym on Friday morning.

It was Michael's last day, and because we didn't get a full turn out at the lunch the day before, we decided to present him with his gift at 9am. But even then, it seemed like there weren't too many people around. Melissa was sick and Melanie was at court. Steve was there, but was busy walking to and from the photocopying room.

Mary gave a really nice speech, and I thought Michael accepted it well. The gift was a clock, it seemed like a fairly nice one. Christina suggested we go for a 'normal' 'two hour lunch' as a proper farewell, and Imad remarked how the bean counters would be concerned about that. Not sure if that was a sign of him not completely siding with Michael, or if he was just naturally cautious (like me).

I was half busy throughout the day. Imad came and asked me if I wanted to do Tuesday's list, and of course, I wasn't going to say no. He said he'd ask Michael first because only SLOs can do it. I was flattered he'd ask me, and I quickly checked to see who would be assisting - it was that cute Maria girl.

My god, is this fate?

I decided to go out for lunch, because I got bored of the pizza toast I was making. Went for a walk and ended up buying a box of rice, which was a lot more than I had wanted. I was only in the mood for a small lunch. After that I got a bit of a headache and didn't feel good for the rest of the day.

I went to ask Imad to see if I got the list or not, and he said no because only SLOs could do it. He kept apologising for not getting back to me about it, but I was ok, at least it meant less work. He then told me English had gone to the bar and asked if I had any similar plans. Not really sure why he keeps asking me this - is it out of genuine interest, or does he just want to see if I plan on staying here long term?

I told him I didn't think I was ready and we talked a bit about other baristas. When I walked out I realised that Paul guy's office was opened. I didn't see him at his desk, but I wondered if he was somewhere in there and had been listening to our conversation, because obviously, he does the staffing and stuff.

I was glad to get out of work, and caught the bus home. G was going to a social event, I told him I'd see how I felt after gym, but I was already pretty sure I wouldn't be going. I just felt like being left alone and having some peace and quiet.

I walked to the gym even though the car was at home, did my knee exercises, but couldn't do anything else as the weights area was pretty packed. I then walked home, had dinner and a quiet night in.

Saturday
I went to a dry cleaner's at the Wick in the morning to drop off my black suit for cleaning.

At about 9am I left home to walk to the Central courts. I was still a bit upset at Sunny bailing. Yesterday I had texted him to confirm training, and he said that he had just received noticed of a friend's farewell. On the phone he was so so keen to come to training, and here he was bailing. Judge a person by their actions, not words.

Also, Mike said he couldn't make training because it was too early and the buses at this time were pretty bad. He also cancelled on the afternoon games with William, claiming his knee hurt, but I reckon it had a lot to do with the fact that I said I wouldn't pick him up from his place and asked him to come closer to the city. If a person has the will to do something, they will move heaven and earth to do it. I always wondered how long me being his chaffeur would last - apparently a couple of weeks.

I got so upset I felt like I should just completely drop them from the team.

As I crossed the road, I had to step over a chain, and tripped pretty badly over it. I'm sure I looked like an idiot to anyone who saw, because it was such an easy and low step, but it really hurt like crazy afterwards.

When I got to the courts, Nick had just arrived. It felt a bit awkward being with him by myself, we made some light convo before shooting around. He said he was having a bit of a problem with his free throws, so I observed him as we played a game of who could hit the most out of ten. I noticed he seemed to stop for a split second as he bent at the knees and went up, so I told him to be more fluid, and he said he felt a lot better and his shot was a lot better as well.

We wondered where Bo was, and then Phil arrived. I couldn't remember him, but I did when I saw him. Not really sure if he's the type of guy we want playing full court, but we'll see.

We did a drill where we moved from elbow to elbow shooting. At first it was 10 shots, then Nick wanted to do 20. I swear, it was a lot harder than I thought, because of the heat. I noticed that when I got really tired towards the end, my form would just collapse - I was fading away and my right leg would stick out and turn. This was exactly how I injured myself, thereby further confirming my suspicions that I hurt myself that day because I was tired and took a tired jump shot.

After about an hour, and after they had both tried contacting Bo, I gave him a call. They said he never answers his phone, so to my surprise, he answered. He sounded hung over, apologised, and said he'd take a shower and be here soon. After a while he turned up, saying he drank last night and got kicked out of the pub. Last week he said he had quit drinking, so I was disappointed to hear (and see) that. I kept thinking about how bad this would look if this was a professional team, like, you know, "Stephen Jackson turns up to training drunk". He also wasn't very serious, shooting free throws underarm, and shots with so much arc it went over the backboard. He was obviously still drunk. I'd had enough, and it was past noon, so I left, and walked with Phil to the station. Turns our we both understand Cantonese.

I caught the bus home, changed jerseys, put on my long socks, and drove to Hurstville. I was kinda relieved I didn't have to drive Mike, it was just nice to drive by myself and listen to music.

William had sent a message asking me not to be late since we only had two hours, and I was 15 minutes late, hehe.

When I got there, only William, a guy called Andrew and a guy called Kevin were there. They didn't even have a ball. They were still waiting for the kids to finish their soccer training. After that we started shooting around and played two on two. My shot was on, and I could feel it was getting better. Me and Andrew got off to a slow start, and a part of me thought "screw this, just turn it on and win the damn game", but a small part of me also thought "take care, no point hurting yourself in a meaningless game like this".

I had to guard that Kevin guy, and he was a bit bigger than me, definitely someone who'd play power forward or center in a game like this. Sometimes he'd keep backing me down, and each time I found myself relying a lot of using my right foot to stop his force, but at the same time, I didn't want to put any pressure on it, so I'd lift it up from time to time. If Sports Centre was there they'd play it on slo-mo and analyse how much I'm trying to protect my knee.

Two other guys joined later on, and then they left. Then William asked another group to play full court, and then Kenneth came. Eventually we played full court with the other group, and Kenneth was his usual self hogging all the shots. I was just glad to be running up and down the court I didn't care much.

We missed so many shots and had so many turnovers, I found myself preferring to stay back on defense. So when we were taking the ball up, I was walking, and Kenneth asked if I was ok.

Am I ok?? AM I OK???

If he thought I was going to run up there only to run back on defense, then he was wrong.

Anyway, I had a good run, and after that William and Kenneth were talking about what to do and also about their plans the next day. Kenneth told me to go surfing with William on Sunday, and I politely declined saying I was trying to stay out of the sun.

William and I ended up agreeing to go to Ele's thing as her friend had opened up a new coffee shop. He wanted to come to my house to change, and I could see so many reasons he couldn't, so I just said I was going straight there. Hope he didn't feel offended.

We drove in convoy as I followed his car, and I signalled for him to park in the shopping centre. For some reason the machine didn't give me a ticket, so I went in anyway.

I met up with him as he calling my name out in the car park. On our way to the coffee shop we stopped at an ATM. At that moment, I started feeling that it was actually ok to hang out with him. I felt like I understood him a bit more. Maybe there wasn't much more than meets the eye.

We arrived at the coffee shop where we found Ele standing and talking within a group. We were introduced to the owner, who turned out to be John, who I met at yum cha through Ele a while ago. Didn't know it was him who opened the shop. Linda was also there within the group, as well as Evonne.

Sitting at a table next to the window to our left was Young and his friend. I looked over and nodded to Young. We talked a bit before William and I went to order. I was pretty hungry so I asked if he wanted to share a sausage roll, and he said yes. He ordered the drinks and the sausage roll, and I wasn't expecting him to do it so I gave him $5 and then realised it probably wasn't enough for my share.

Ele introduced us to her friend, I can't remember her name. I'll call her Winnie for the rest of this post. We then went to sit at a table they were already sitting at. Ele and Winnie were at one table and Evonne and Linda were at another. William and I sat in between Evonne and Winnie. Ele said we smelled, having just come from basketball. I jokingly said it was William, and wondered how much he liked that.

We also talked about William's muscles, since he was just wearing a singlet (I had changed and put on a tshirt). Evonne reached out and felt it, and then stuck out her arm and invited William to feel it. William actually refused, which made me start thinking differently about him even more.

Ele asked me if Linda looked any different. I did notice she seemed to be a bit more dressed up in a traditional way, but I said no. I spoke to Linda a bit about who was going to drive to Jamberoo next week. She was open to using her car but wanted me to drive. I didn't really want to use my car, but I guess I'll see.

They were all talking in Mandarin a lot, so I didn't really know what was going on. I just thought the shop looked pretty nice, and thought it was in a pretty good location, having a corner spot.

At first I thought Winnie was kinda attractive, but then noticed she had pretty big bags under her eyes. She did have nice hair though, and even Ele felt so, feeling her hair.

William and I went to get our drinks when it was called, and we shared the sausage roll. There was a bit of talk about basketball, somehow Ele was involved, and I joked she was really good and could dunk.

After a short time there was talk of leaving. They were going to karaoke and then dinner. Young and his friend had already walked out, while we were standing around talking about something. Linda was going to Bobby's cooking thing. I said I wanted to go home first to change, and then Ele looked down at my long socks and said she thought the same thing, lol. Winnie said something which suggested I could go, and I said I didn't think they'd let me in like that.

We went out, and I had to go with William because the plan was to follow his car so I could get out without a ticket. Linda had also parked in the same car park so we all went to get our cars. Linda offered help as well, so I devised this plan where I'd follow William's car, and Linda would follow my car, so if it didn't work then I could get Linda's ticket and then she could follow me. Brilliant.

We went to get our cars and then met up in an area and then went in convoy towards the boom gate, lol, this was like a movie. Once at the gate, William went through very slowly so I could follow him. I tried to get really close to him, and didn't mind if my front kissed his bumper, but then wondered if saving $25 was really worth a minor scratch on my car.

It worked. The gate stayed open as I went through, and Linda used her ticket to get out. William stopped his car outside, and I told him I was going home first, and he'd meet me in the city.

Once I got home, I gave G a call, as he had called earlier. We talked about going to karaoke together. He said yes and he'd come pick me up. So I had a shower and changed, and then decided I'd just drive because G wasn't going to dinner afterwards as he was going to Bobby's cooking thing as well.

I waited for G downstairs, and when he arrived, I told him I'd drive. He changed his mind and said he didn't want to go, as William had another group going to karaoke later, so he'd go to the cooking thing first.

I drove out to the city and parked in a car park, which charged $25 flat rate, grrrr. William had messaged me to meet up for something to eat before going to karaoke, so I met him outside the Macca's on the main street. We went to a new Japanese restaurant within an arcade that I always walk past but never go in. It had an innovative concept where you queue up to pick the type of noodles you want, add whatever entree and topping you want, then pay at the end.

I only wanted something small as we'd be eating afterwards, so just got a small (and more importantly, cheap) udon. We talked as we ate, about gym, basketball, and how he knew Ele. Apparently he only met her for the first time at that barbeque a while ago, through Ben, the guy with the broken wrist.

After we finished, we went to karaoke. There were a few additional people there, including that couple with the nerdy guy and the somewhat hot girl. I always wonder how he landed her and what she sees in him. I swear, if they ever break up I'm moving in. There was also a guy called Mayo, who seemed to be with Evonne, as she introduced him to us. I wondered if he was her boyfriend. I was a little bit jealous at first, but then studied him a bit more, and concluded he was taller than me, had nice skin, and was probably better looking, so I lost fair and square there.

I wasn't really looking forward to the karaoke, but figured I could spend the time playing those die games. I asked where they were and William picked up the phone to ask for them, and they were delivered promptly.

William, Ele, Winnie and I started playing the game liar (or bullshit as I recalled). It was quite fun, and the punishment for us guys was to do push ups and for the girls to do sit ups. I brought Mayo into the game since he seemed to be a bit lonely, so it was us three guys against the two girls.

After a while Ele had songs to sing, so I went onto Winnie's team, leaving William to call me a traitor, lol. We won a lot of games, mainly because William kept losing. In fact, I don't think he won any games at all. He definitely did the most push ups.

Evonne asked if I wanted to sing. I knew it'd come up, but I kinda secretly wanted to sing anyway, so I went to choose a song. She asked what song and I told her Gallen Lo, and she found him for me in the system. I picked the same song as last time, and then went back to the games.

When my song came up, I went up the front, had the audio on cause I didn't know all the words. I got an applause during the break in the middle, and I was like "I'm not finished yet" and Ele said I'd get another one after. I think I did alright, but would've liked more practise if I knew I'd be going to karaoke.

By now we had left the die game (my introduction of the game where we arrange the die by numbers didn't last too long) as Ele had introduced the game where you shout out a number (zero, five, ten, 15 or 20), and that kept us busy for a while. Ele taught me how to play, but then when she sang, William, Winnie and I just played amongst ourselves. I kinda liked it when I went up against Winnie, it was a chance to get close to her and look into her eyes. Maybe she wasn't that bad afterall. Maybe this was also why games like these were played, to give a chance for guys and girls to get closer.

We stopped playing after a while, and William was talking to Winnie while I just played on my phone. I would sometimes look at Ele just to see if she looked back, and she did occasionally look over at me.

We finished at about 8:30pm and left for dinner. William and I again went to the ATM before meeting up with the rest at the restaurant. It was just off the street where I work, where we had to go upstairs. I could smell the spice, and wondered why they always went to these spicy restaurants.

As usual, seating at the table would be very important. There was one seat free between Winnie and Evonne - great opportunity. But if I took it, it would mean William would be excluded and sat near people he didn't know, and vice versa.

Could I really do this? Every man for himself?

In the end, I shuffled along to the free seats available on the other side, content with William to take the seat. Surprisingly he followed, and so none of us took it. There were some re-arrangements because that nerdy guy's girlfriend didn't want to sit next to me, probably because we didn't speak the same language, so I sat in between William and Young's friend.

I personally found the service to be pretty poor. Young's friend, William and I didn't have chopsticks, they didn't give us tea until wr requested it, and the water they gave us wasn't even for 10 people (especially given that we'd be eating spice).

I didn't understand most of what was going on, as again they were speaking in Mandarin. Sometimes William would tell me what they were talking about, and I appreciated it. Occasionally Evonne would ask me to speak Cantonese to get me involved in the conversations, and the attention it brought me made things more awkward. I noticed Winnie was pretty quiet most of the time, preferring to sip on her drink, and not talking much. Maybe she wasn't really that close to Ele? Did Ele bring her here to set me up?

Young's friend did talk to me a bit, just about the food we had and that, not much.

Sometimes I'd notice Ele looking at me. I am pretty sure she just wants to make sure I'm feeling alright amongst these Mandarin speaking people. But one has to wonder - why does she care?

At one point, she said to William, in front of everyone, something like "David has muscles, but he doesn't show it, so why do you show it?" and William said he thought they were going to the beach today so he wore a singlet.

William and I started talking to Mayo towards the end of the dinner when we found out he was also into basketball. I asked William to bring him to our Saturday games, and he didn't really do anything, like get his number, so I did it. I gave him my phone and asked him to put his number in. Ele said "why do you always get guys number?"

I knew from this that she had been observing me, not just from tonight, but for a while now, as to my status with girls. I think she was frustrated that I didn't try to get Winnie's number.

After dinner, William, Mayo and I talked about the NBA as we headed down the main street. The plan was to go to Ele's place for card games. Mayo left, and so did William. We had two cars, but Young parked far away, so Ele suggested that I drive the girls while Young and his friend went in their car.

I had parked quite close to the wall on my side, and hoped no one noticed me having to squeeze in uncomfortably. They didn't, but Evonne and Winnie waited until I moved the car out before they got in.

When Ele got in, I started the car and forgot about the Eminem music blaring out of my speakers, which startled her and then I turned it off. I drove out a bit and the other two got in.

During the drive, Winnie and Evonne mainly spoke amongst themselves at the back, while Ele and I talked. She asked how my knee was, and I said 90-95%, and she told me not to play basketball if it hurt. I really appreciated her showing she cared.

She also talked about how Michael L and Eva were at Bobby's place for the cooking thing, and asked if Bobby and I were talking now. Somehow we got talking about CPR, and I said people could just drop dead at any moment, and told her about that soccer player who died on the field. She said it was fate, and I said maybe fate would visit us one day. She said not to curse her so I said maybe fate would visit me one day. She said not to curse me. There was a car which beeped its horn next to me at another car, and I said maybe fate will visit them one day, and she said not to curse them, lol.

They brought up my jail visits and Winnie asked what I did. I told her I used to be on defence, and then she asked what I do now, and I told her I changed sides. Evonne cheered.

I dropped them off first and then went to look for parking. As they exited the car, Ele repeated to Winnie that I was "an old friend" of hers.

I found parking fairly quickly and went up to meet them. Winnie and Evonne went into a room, and I talked to Ele. We talked about how Eva had become a bit reclusive since losing her job, and how she found it hard to get her to come out. She said there was a suggestion to have her ask Bobby to help her get a job within his company, but Eva didn't want to ask because she knew he'd say no. Her basis for this was that apparently Bobby's then girlfriend had asked him to find her a job there and he refused.

This was a perfect chance to let fly the whole "yeah he's a fucking asshole" thing, but I held back and just said maybe he thought it'd be awkward to work with her if they ever broke up.

When Young and his friend arrived, we played a card game, a variation of Chinese poker. I said I remembered a bit of it, but Young went through it with me again. Ele said I'd learn quickly, and Young's friend kept saying sarcastically "wow he is really learning quickly". He repeated that a few more times throughout the night, which made me want to knock him out, but I told myself it was just a card game, and in the scheme of things he was a pretty big loser (especially since it turned out he likes Linda). He has, however, earned the distinct label of being Cunt No. 2 (No. 1 is Kenneth).

I could also tell Ele didn't like him, and wondered if this could be a factor later on in any potential clashes between her and Young.

Ele and I were on the same team, and I was determined to win a game for her, but the other two were too good.

After a while I got tired, and when Winnie came out, I invited her to play. She took my spot, and at first Ele suggested I could help her, and then suggested I sit next to her (Ele) to learn. So I pulled up a seat next to her to watch. I was too tired to learn, but did silently enjoy sitting so close to her. I wondered what it was like to be with her this close all the time.

Finally we finished and decided to call it a night. It was already 1am. I didn't know what was going to happen, but turns out Cunt No. 2 had his own car, and Ele and Young were going to drive Winnie back home (she lived quite far away). As we walked to our cars, Ele said she had a challenge for me - to drive Winnie home. I thought it was a joke because they were already on their way to their car, so I didn't say anything. But this just confirmed for me that she was trying to set me up with her. I felt bad that I had failed her again. I was also a bit tired to be driving all that way.

Beginning of the end of debt?

No gym in the morning again.

Work was a bit of a bludge in the morning, as we had a branch meeting at 10am, so only had to do something until then.

The new boss David S was there. Even he felt a bit awkward as he walked past first before coming in. What was even more awkward was him sitting next to me. That was actually Steve's seat but he went to get a cup of tea. I didn't know what to say, but it felt like he was a stranger and so to make him feel more comfortable I told him we usually had more people but they were out at court (at one time I did a mental count, and the paras out-numbered the lawyers).

Michael ran the meeting with his self large sense of humour. You could see the contrast in styles immediately. David S knew much more than Michael, but Michael was the more likeable one. I noticed and liked how Michael would make a joke sometimes, and then turn to the person he's trying to make laugh and laugh himself and keep nodding, as if to urge that person to laugh with him, lol. Jolly man.

Christina came to the meeting late because she had court, but I noticed how she made an extra effort to stick her head out to laugh at one of David S' comments. Wow, she was one of the more vocal ones in protesting the change.

I was getting pretty hungry so was glad when the meeting was over and I got to return to my room to snack on some Mamee noodles, hehe.

The people who were available gathered at noon to go to Michael's lunch. I couldn't go because I had a mention at 2pm, but had planned to go afterwards if they were still there.

Just before 2pm, I was in the bathroom playing on my phone when it rang. Being in the bathroom, I of course let it go to voice mail. When I returned to my room to pack for court, I checked the message and it was the guy from the bank, telling me my application for a credit card had been approved. Well I kinda had a feeling they would approve it.

I went to court and did the mention, and then went to the bank after that to complete the paperwork. Done. It will take about 10 days for my balance to be transferred.

I went back to the office, thinking about going to the lunch, but earlier I saw that Steve had returned and thought that people were on their way back anyway, so I didn't bother. Turns out, when Sarah returned, that Michael didn't want people to leave, but Steve and Bryony had to because they had work to do, so Sarah, Christina and Trent stayed with Michael for a long lunch.

I felt bad about not going, and wondered what Michael thought about that.

After work, I caught the bus home. There were some girls, who were probably between 19-22, talking about girly stuff at the back of the bus. They started talking about how the bus driver gave one of them a bit of a hard time, and suddenly one guy said "you should've just told him to mind his own fucking business, his job is to just drive the bus".

I thought this guy was probably just trying to find a way in with the girls and trying to impress them, but later as the girls kept talking, he said "don't you girls ever shut the fuck up, always talking". Which led to a long silence before the chatter slowly started up again, lol.

I got changed at home and then drove to pick up my glasses. I waited a while before I was served by that guy who fixed up the broken arms before. He spent a lot of time adjusting the new pair, and I swear, it felt good to have his fingers tenderly linger around the back of my ears as he did. Weird. But anyway, seeing the amount of effort he was putting in to make sure everything was right - that was why I went there.

I went to the gym at the Bra after that, and while working out I thought about how instead of making large regular repayments on my new credit card, I could make the minimum, then put the rest into an interest bearing account. Or would that type of greed lead me down the wrong path and ultimate failure to pay the debt off?

Ele's return

I skipped gym in the morning again. I woke up early but figured I'd try to get to the office by 8am since I had court.

I got to the office by about 8:15am and started looking at that matter of Ogre's which I had to go with Clare for. At about 9am Clare and I went down to level 7 to meet the barista. We waited for about ten minutes before this guy walked out of the lifts towards us. We just looked at eachother blankly until he said Clare's name, neither of us knowing who the other was.

We all introduced ourselves and then made our way to court. I talked to Clare a bit and found out she's going to be acting LO1 on level 10 soon. It was good to see, but I wondered why they needed so many people.

At court, I found the barista DJ to be quite a funny guy. Not only that, but he was actually quite good looking. I figured he'd be around late 30's to early 40's, and thought to myself if I could look as good as him when I'm that old, then I shouldn't have anything to worry about now.

He also seemed like quite a talented guy, telling us about all the different things he did. Rodney was also at court and I introduced him to DJ and we all started talking, with DJ gossipping about one of the mag's ex-husband sleeping with someone from our office. I even found out the name of that person, and felt like taking a walk past their office to see how attractive they were. So in a nutshell, that is why that particular mag hates women from my office.

We hung around talking to the other sides and then the matter was adjourned. I talked to a lady who used to work here who was also in the big trial I was in. Found it a bit awkward, I think that was the most I'd ever spoken to her despite being in a year long trial against her.

I then headed back to the office and then remembered I had a set lunch with Ele. I returned a phone call and then headed off.

We organised to meet at the corner of the supermarket and I got there first and waited. I had my intro planned out. After a short while, I spotted her crossing the road. She looked quite cute, with a jumper like thing on her shoulder. She didn't see me, so I started following her until she turned around and saw me up close, which surprised her a bit.

I said she looked taller (she didn't) and she showed me she was wearing sandals. I asked her what she wanted to eat and she went along with Japanese. I took her to that place I went with Amanda, remembering it was pretty good value.

I asked her about her trip to China, and I noticed how she didn't really mention the word 'marriage'. She said she got to meet Young's family and relatives, saying he had a lot, which meant next time she'd have to get them all presents. I also complimented her on her glasses, and she said she got them from China in addition to colour contact lenses. I told her I recently bought a pair of glasses but my insurance only covered $200, and she said that was a lot.

We went into the restaurant and this time we were shown to a table near the end. I was a bit disappointed because I thought the tables were limited to ordering via the waitresses, but turns out they are right next to the train so you can pick food off as it comes around.

We played around with the menu screen and then started picking dishes off the train. We talked about lots of stuff as we ate, including:

- she asked me how my girlfriend was. I said she was good - she was quiet, did what I wanted, and didn't ask questions. I wondered if I was talking about basketball or Naby.

- she now works with Linda, saying she left her previous job because she didn't like her supervisor, saying she reckons male supervisors are better, and that now she is a lot happier

- she mentioned something about buying gloves for herself and Young, but Young didn't like it so she would bring them next time

- she met up with Michael L and Bobby for lunch recently

- Eva is no longer working, as her company didn't seem to like her

- I told her I saw a psychologist yesterday and about how I needed a holiday

- she said Patrick argued with Young's friends three times, and mentioned it to Linda but told her not to tell Patrick, but when Linda and Patrick were arguing one day, Linda brought it up, hence the break up

- she also said that Young wanted to go back to China, but she wanted to stay here. I asked why he wanted to go back, and she asked if I could tell that he was a traditional Chinese man, always wanting to speak Chinese. The term 'fob' came into my head.

Could this be the start of something? Do I wait it out and see?

I had already made her laugh quite a bit and for some reason I just felt at ease with her. Maybe it was just me, but I felt a bit of a connection. Sometimes I'd look at her while she was looking down at her food and just appreciate that I was with her. She made me want to stop with Naby. Amanda, on the other hand, was different. I've been thinking, if I go with Amanda, am I willing to stop seeing Naby? The answer was no, I couldn't see myself doing that. Well if I kept seeing Naby, then I'd be cheating on Amanda, and I didn't want that.

We sort of shared our dishes as well, which complemented the connection. At the laat dish she had taken a piece and then asked if I wanted it because it was the bigger piece. I said she could have it, but joked that I had noticed how she'd taken the bigger piece on every other dish and that was why she liked haivng lunch with me.

But things went up a level in terms of bonding when I told her my business idea of the free coffee shop. She said it was a good idea, and said she wanted to open a board games shop near the uni close to us. I said it would be better if they could sell alcohol, but she didn't seem too keen on that. She said we could join our ideas together. When I said I needed to prepare a business plan, she said I didn't seem to have the passion for it. I denied it, but I think she was right. She, like Alanna, read my mind perfectly.

When we asked for the bill, I took it to the cashier. She said to let her pay for it to celebrate her new job, and that she had doubled her salary. I jokingly asked if it was now $200,000 and she revealed that she used to be on about $32,000 on her old job. I was glad I made around the same as her now, although I always thought she'd be on lots more. She asked me how much I earned and I laughed and said it was my secret.

She asked several more times to pay and held out her hand for the bill. I just gave her a high five. By the time we were at the cashier, she had given up and allowed me to pay. Even though I'm on a strict budget now given my absolute non-use of my credit card, $32 wasn't bad at all for lunch for two.

She had asked earlier if I wanted to meet for coffee tonight because her friend opened a new coffee shop. I was a bit hesitant, not really knowing if I had any plans tonight, and she could see that and suggested the weekend.

We walked to the large intersection, and talked until the lights changed. When we started parting, she came back for a hug.

Did she miss me?

I don't know, but I walked off feeling pretty good, even though I had been gone 80 minutes for lunch.

Back at work, I had managed to keep myself busy again. I find that time passes quickly when I have stuff to do. In the late afternoon, I just started a polite conversation with Moira in the photocopy room, and had intended to walk, 'drop' her off at her room, and then give Sarah a document.

As we walked and talked, Mary saw us and gave Moira Michael's card to sign, which turned into a 45 minute conversation outside Sarah's office. All I wanted to do was hand in the damn document!

I left work at 5pm. On the bus, Ele messaged me asking if I was up for coffee tonight. I went home to see if I had the car or not - I didn't. So I messaged back saying I wanted to prepare for work tomorrow. She asked if I wanted to go to the beach on Saturday, but I had organised to play ball with William.

What to do?

I message William asking if he'd rather go to Ele's, since not many people were up for ball. He didn't reply for ages, and I wondered if it had upset him that I was bailing ball for Ele.

I walked to the gym and did my knee exercises and weights. It feels like ages since I have been in the gym, even though it's only been a few days max. My knee feels harder, and my hamstring cramps up when I stand and bend my knee.

William had messaged me with the time of the game, and I asked Ele if I could go after that. She replied saying no wonder William messaged her.

Great.

I asked her if she was going to still organise anything and there was no reply. I wondered if I had upset her, and was beginning to get scared. I didn't want that. I wanted to say sorry.

Luckily, she later sent a group message organising events for Saturday, so don't think she is too upset.

Psychologist

On Friday we had a morning tea to help raise money for the floods (by the way, I've paid way too much for this already). After awkwardly talking to Louise and then Wendy A, I managed to find someone I knew with that girl Maria who looks quite cute. I approached, and even though I felt like I knew Maria (only because we have been in previous events but never spoken) she still introduced herself to me and we got talking.

I was pretty sure she was from Hong Kong, and I was also pretty sure she didn't know I was from Hong Kong. We just talked about basic work stuff, but I found myself asking within "what do I say next? How can I make her laugh?" I think I have a crush on her.

Later we met up in a group again and Junar started teasing me about how many briefs I used to do on level 10, and Maria sort of joined in. I was a bit embarassed and didn't know what to say.

There was a coin tossing competition, and although it looked like a challenge, I didn't participate. However, that Paul guy did and seemed kinda addicted to it. I watched as he tried again and again, and for a second, I swear I thought he had that 'addicted' look, which made me wish he would never step foot into a casino.

Yesterday at work I was a bit more motivated, as I had to draft a minute to assess a matter. I took my time, but it was good to slowly work through a matter like that.

At the end of the day, I changed so I could walk home. I had been keeping an eye on the weather to make sure it wouldn't rain, as I really felt like going Ryu-ish for the rest of the afternoon. Mainly it was to save a bus fare, but I also felt like walking to clear my mind.

Anyway, I saw Mary as I wleft and she was like "oh you play basketball". Don't know why but I was embarassed and just said "uh yeah" and walked out.

The walk home was great. Although during the long stretch on the main road it started to sprinkle a bit, and so I was minded to walk faster before it rained.

Today at work I just continued with my minute. I'm nearly finished but the cop left out some basic details which I need, and he's on leave for another two months.

I had worn my nice black suit for court, but turns out Mary didn't need me at 2pm as it had been delayed to 3:30pm, so I had a peaceful lunch by myself, as I made that pizza toast and ate it in the office.

At 3:30pm I went to see the psychologist as scheduled. Admittedly I was a bit nervous about it, knowing that they'd analyse every small movement I made, which made me ever so self conscious. What if they dug deep enough to find out my problems? What if there really was something wrong with me?

I found the place with no problems, walked in and was told to fill in a quick questionnaire. I did it, and then was seen by the psych. For some reason going by the name I pictured a chick, but it was a middle aged to old man. He seemed friendly enough, with a soft voice and demeanor.

It wasn't really what I was expecting. I was expecting some delving into my mind, but he just basically asked how I handed stress. I did, for a moment, panic when he began to ask about my family, and thought about changing the topic, but figured he'd be too smart for that. However, he didn't delve too deeply into that and moved on.

He did, however, on a couple of occasions, call me "bland" and "boring", judging by my responses to the questionnaire, which he said was a good thing (otherwise I'd be way too over-stressed).

Afterwards I went back to the office, even though a bludger probably would've just gone home. I returned some phone calls and then Mary asked if I could attend court with Clare in one of Ogre's matters. Apparently Ogre had court elsewhere and Michael had assigned Clare to go, but the barista wants a sol.

So I spent a bit of time looking into that matter, and while I was in my room, Ogre came over to tell me a bit about it, and when Genie came it turned into a three way convo about how to make the most money as a lawyer.

I left at about 5:40pm, and as I walked to the lights, it had started raining. I was waiting for the green light to cross the road, and thought about jaywalking to avoid the rain. I could see there was a girl standing to my five o'clock, who may have been looking at me, but dismissed it as my paranoia.

When I crossed the road and waited at another intersection, I saw that the girl I noticed previously was Katie. Funny, as we had made eye contact earlier in the day when I returned from the grocery store and she was with others at the bottom of the building.

I caught the bus home and couldn't be stuffed going to the gym as it was raining and I didn't have the car. Ah, this rehab on flexion isn't going so well.

Also, out of boredom I found that Maria on facebook and saw that our mutual friend is Janet! Damn, now how to work this...

First full court game since surgery

On Friday during lunch I went to NAB to apply for a credit card so I could do a balance transfer and get an interest free period until January next year. This was it, I decided to take control of my finances and pay off this goddamn thing once and for all. Was it the wussy way out? Perhaps, but the interest on my current one has become too much. It's like if I take one step forward, it sends me two steps back.

I went through the process with some Indian looking guy at a desk who was friendly enough, and probably thought I was bored out of my mind because he kept saying it wouldn't take long. In the end, he said they could only approve $5,800, so I could take that or have someone else assess my application. I chose the latter, not really wanting to split my repayments into two.

At that moment, I didn't think much of it, as I could always go to ANZ for their 2.9% on balance transfers as a backup plan. But as I walked out that door, the rejection had started to sink in. I was in so much debt that even the bank's program had deemed me a bad investment. My god, what have I done?

I went to get some lunch and ate it back in the office. That rejection actually depressed me quite a bit. I was quite active earlier in the day, but now I felt like I was down and out. I had lost my motivation for the day. It was also clear from the outside, as towards the end of the day, Mary walked past and said I looked tired. Sarah chipped in and said I smelt like alcohol earlier, and I didn't know what to say but laugh, quickly going into emergency thinking mode to see if I had come close to any alcohol the night before with Amanda.

Sarah stuck her head out so I could see her and said "kidding!", which made me feel like this was some sort of crazy family, lol. Mary said to go home if I was tired as I wouldn't be productive anyway. I spent the rest of the time talking to Lewis downstairs and then left at 5pm.

I had no plans, and was glad about it, mainly because I wanted to be alone, and also because I would save money. I left work feeling a little better thinking that this bank rejection gave me a little bit of motivation - if they think I'm a bad investment, then I'll prove to them I can pay this damn thing back.

I went home, and then walked to the gym even though I had the car. I had such a workout that I treated myself to KFC's popcorn chicken and gravy afterwards. Yummm. I walked home and then just had a quiet night in.

Saturday
I woke up kinda late, so didn't go to the gym. Instead, I had instant noodles for breakfast and then caught the bus out to Central to meet up with Bo and others to 'train' or 'meet' for the new team coming up.

As I cut across the grass to the courts, I could sort of make them out, and then see Bo point to me. It made me a bit self conscious, wondering what the hell he was saying. I went to greet them and met a guy called Colin. They said he was 40, and he did look it, but he was quite fit and could play ball.

We shot around for a bit, and Colin ran through a simple play to show us. As I watched, I knew this was a team I wanted to play on. I was glad not to have the responsibility of a captain, and I was even more glad that they were serious enough to make plays. What's more, this play actually worked, although I wasn't sure how effective I'd be cutting and getting the ball.

After that we played some two on two games. As both Nick and Colin were quite tall, it only made sense for them not to be on the same team, so for the first game it was Nick and I. I can't remember who won, but I did have a bit of trouble guarding Bo down low since he was so much bigger. I had the advantage when he was outside though, cause I could easily swipe the ball from him. Bo really surprised me in that he was the only one who called time outs all day because he was tired after five minutes. I was glad to know I was still relatively in shape.

After that it was Colin and I, and again I was matched up against Bo, but this time he had taken his shirt off, and when I said something about it he even hugged me to make sure he got all his sweat on me...urgh. I could really only shoot from the outside, and my shot fell enough for Colin to know I was a shooter. But even though it was falling now, I questioned how efficient I'd be in a full court, competitive game as I was sure I was more rusty than they thought.

In the last game, Bo and I teamed up, and although it was obvious who the winners were going to be, I did my part to make a game out of it, scoring our only two baskets.

Colin left after that, then the three of us sat on the seats to the side and talked. Bo asked Nick about his girlfriend, and he said she was travelling for six months and worried about her cheating on him, while she worried about him cheating on her, lol.

Nick left, and then Bo and I talked for a bit, just about the upcoming team and all. I kept saying we should get some full court games going as I really wanted to see how I'd fare in full court. We walked down the street together before parting, and I caught the bus back home to change and have a shower.

I was pretty tired and waiting for my dad to return with the car, so I took a nap, telling myself it'd only be for 20 minutes as I needed to leave at 2pm. I swear it was the longest 20 minutes of my life.

I got out of my bed at 2ish and got ready for more bball. I thought I could get there in about 30 minutes so I wasn't in much of a rush - how wrong I was!

The traffic was soooooo bad on Parramatta Rd that I ended up being 45 minutes late. It was so hot that day that I was draining in sweat just by sitting in the car. Mike kept texting me, and I thought it was pretty stupid, as he asked me which court it was - I mean, there's really only one court there! Anyway, my phone got heaps hot and crashed, so I turned it off, all the better.

When I got there, they were playing a full court game (earlier wish granted I guess), and Mike was sitting there watching, too shy to have joined in without me. That kinda annoyed me, especially when I thought he was very sociable with these types of guys, and here he was too shy to make his presence known so that he wasted 45 minutes watching.

The game ended soon and Mike and I joined a team and went for a run. It was only on the drive there that I realised this would be my first time back at these courts since my injury. And this was my first full court game since my surgery. Of course, I was extra careful. One of the first times I got the ball was when someone passed it up for a fastbreak and I ran down towards the ring. It was a lefty lay-up coming up, I knew it, but I was also being chased by this big guy.

Jumping off my right foot (and knee) I wasn't too sure, so I just gave a half hearted effort, which resulted in the ball going off the board, hitting the ring with no chance of it going in, and being rebounded by the other team. But you know what I was thinking? "Phew, at least I'm ok".

I then got my first basket when someone chucked it up to me for an easy open lay up. I thought I might miss as well, given how rusty I was. Later, I made a medium range jumper, and we ended up winning our first game. I couldn't believe it, it was all so fast. No warm ups, here I was thrown right into the middle of a full court game.

Running the breaks, and taking the ball up, it all started coming back to me. I felt a bit more confident, and a bit more jumpy. The restriction caused by my flexion wasn't apparent. I felt free to roam and glide all over the court. The only thing I was very wary of was tripping over someone's leg and twisting my knee. For some reason I kept envisioning that happening.

Early in the first game, Mike stopped for some reason (later he said it was due to his knee) and at one stage he lost the ball, started fidgeting with his knee, the ball rolled back to him, and he was too 'Mike' to realise it and didn't get it. All those high blood pressure memories started coming back to me, and I questioned whether it was right to invite him onto the new upcoming team.

After a couple of games I was glad to go off and get a break. It was good to feel like I could run in a full court game like I used to, but at the same time I kept telling myself that the less I was on the court, the less chances there were of me hurting myself. Even during fastbreaks, I could envision myself slicing through multiple defenders to get to the basket, but I refrained, instead taking the safe option of sitting back or just passing it off.

William and I had a fastbreak at one stage and I gave him an alley-oop, so that felt kinda good. Also, I had that Kenneth guy in my sights the whole time, so each time he came at me during a fast break, I managed to disrupt it as I knew what he was going to do.

Afterwards we paid $8 each and finished up. Mike went to the canteen and bought a drink. I was kinda surprised that he offered to buy me and William a drink. I took up the offer as he owed me $2 given we couldn't get the exact change when paying our court fees. William told me he was going to Stratty to see his girlfriend, so that was news to me.

The drink Mike bought me was a life saver, as the drive to his place proved to be just as hot as the drive to the courts. We talked, but not too much. I was really tired. He asked me if I wanted to play more ball, but I declined. He had me drive him to a park near his place so he could play more. He told me he wasn't in the Chinese comp this season as the team didn't have enough. I was kinda glad as he'd now be more preserved for the new comp coming in May.

I also jarred my finger during the full court games, but instead of feeling the pain, I'm saying to myself "welcome back".

After I dropped him off I drove back home, had a shower and rested. I was buggered, even though admittedly I hadn't played that much all day.

Today
Didn't wake up early enough to go to the courts, so I just had a shower and met A at 9am for swimming. We got talking instantly about the NBA, especially about how Jerry Sloan had (been forced to) resigned.

The lanes were quite full, so we had to split lanes, but after a while his lane became free so I switched to his lane. I did 12 laps and he did 10, and then we left. It was kinda all too quick, even though I found myself struggling towards the end.

He drove me home, then I had another shower and bummed around at home a bit, before going to the shopping centre near me to pick up my glasses. I saw that they were closed, but their lights were on and there were people inside, so I thought maybe they were opening a little later so I'd wait.

I checked out some stores and saw that they still hadn't opened. As I hadn't had breakfast yet, I was starving and thirsty, so I bought a Subway sandwich and ate it. They still weren't open. I also did some small grocery shopping and then left, planning to wash my car and then come back.

So I went home, dropped off the groceries and washed my car. After that I kept calling the shop but they wouldn't pick up. I later found on their website that they weren't open on Sundays, grrr.

The day with Amanda

So on Thursday I worked until about noon-ish when Amanda sent me a message saying she was leaving now to meet at Town Hall. I thought she seemed pretty eager and I didn't want to be a dick to make her waiting, so after a few minutes I left to meet her as well. I got to the steps early and waited for her. I felt like I had forgotten what she looked like, as I kept looking out for someone short, Asian with slightly big eyes.

After a while, as I looked down at the platform below, I saw her, and she waved at me. I felt a little nervous as I walked to the stairs to greet her. She looked slightly different. We said hello and quickly discussed where to go for lunch. I had in mind the Wagamama that I went to with Ele before. I suggested that to her but she didn't seem too keen on it, instead suggesting the one above it. That was cool, so we went up the escalators only to find that it was pretty packed.

It wasn't a problem though, because we went to a new Japanese restaurant below and sat on stools in front of the sushi train. She ordered some ramen and I was content to just pick things up off the train. We got to know eachother a bit more, as we talked about work, uni and hobbies. Amongst the things we talked about:

- she did an Arts degree at UNSW;
- she's been at her company for six years, doing payroll in HR;
- she didn't know anyone else at the event that night;

Hmmm my memory is quite bad now, maybe because of the time that's lapsed. Anyway, when her ramen arrived, she shared it with me. We shared the sushi dishes I picked off as well, and towards the end she urged me to have some of her fried vegetables. She ordered two more dishes at the end and we waited for a while for them. She said she liked eel, so she ordered a dish of that.

Even though my lunch hour was pretty much up, I wasn't in too much of a hurry, as I was kinda enjoying the time. I thought it went pretty well. When we were finished, we went to line up at the cashier, and I offered to pay. She did say she'd pay her share, but I just paid the whole thing, saying it was for the tennis lesson to later come. I noticed that when I dropped in the sole coin in change as a tip, that she saw it.

We separated at the big intersection, with her saying she'd text me her office address so I could pick her up after work for tennis. Because of her timely messages thus far, I assumed she would text me pretty much straight away, but for a few hours I didn't get anything so I was beginning to wonder if she was having second thoughts. Maybe I had screwed up at the lunch?

But eventually her message came, advising me of her address. I left work at about 4:45pm so I could go home to change and get the car. I had planned to leave at 4:30pm but the presence of Michael talking with some admin guy near my room deterred me, so I had to hang around a bit longer.

Anyway, I got home to change into my jersey and shorts with swiimming trunks underneath, then drove back out to the city. My changed time of meeting her at 5:45pm worked out well, because even though I got to the city at about 5:30pm, it took me a while to maneuver through the city roads to get to her work place.

I found it after a while, and parked across the road where there was plenty of parking. I was trying to look for her but couldn't spot her, and then decided to drive to the other side of the road to look for her. As I was waiting for traffic to clear, I saw her walking towards my car.

She got in and had food and drinks with her. She gave me a pie, and then offered me coke or an orange juice, so I took the latter. She said her place of work gives away free drinks just like that. I think she wanted to consume the food there and then, but I had my mind on getting there rather quickly so we could make the most of daylight.

To be honest, I had thought there was a tiny tiny chance of sex. I mean, she had invited me to her house. Although I was not actually expecting it.

We drove to her place with the assistance of her navigation, and turns out that she lives in the same complex as Dunnycan. I asked, but she didn't know anyone by that name.

When I parked, she said she would go in and change and would be quick. I said it was no rush as I would just eat the pie as I waited. She said something about no way of fobbing me off as we were now at her house?

While I waited, I ate the pie and had about half of the orange juice, wanting to save the rest of it for tennis. The pie was actually pretty good, or maybe I was just hungry. When she came back, she was wearing a small cap with a singlet and shorts. I must say, it wasn't a very flattering look for her.

I asked her if having free food meant she didn't need to buy lunch, but she said she paid for the pie - the drinks were the only free things given by her company.

We walked to the tennis courts only to see that both were occupied. She sounded disappointed, and didn't seem to know what to do at first, but then suggested we swim first. But then one of the guys said they were finishing soon, so we walked around the corner and talked a bit as we waited. She said she would have one of the soft drinks even though she normally didn't have fizzy drinks.

After a while we decided to check on the courts again and the guys had just walked out of it. So we went in and started hitting the ball around. I remember at the dinner, she seemed so enthusiastic about tennis, so I was naturally disappointed to see that she actually wasn't 'that' good at it.

I had fun just hitting it back and forth with her, because it wasn't like I got to do it everyday. I also enjoyed how sometimes we would meet at the net and talk. She could tell I was going easy on her, as I tended to hit it back high and soft. However, I noticed she wasn't given me the same courtesy, sometimes smashing it from side to side to make me run and beat me.

I felt a bit confused as we played. At some angles, I found her to be somewhat attractive. But for the most part, I wondered what I was doing there. Maybe it was just her outfit. Perhaps ironically, at one stage she said she picked her yellow shorts to match mine.

After a while, the old foursome playing on the next court had finished and were sitting nearby to cool down. Then four young girls replaced them on their court, and I only needed a glance to see that they were kinda hot. I had to make a conscious effort not to get caught looking, but already it made me question whether Amanda was the one for me. I mean, if I was really attracted to her, I wouldn't have even noticed the other girls, right?

We played for a bit longer before deciding to finish up. She wondered whether the girls had the key to lock up and went to ask them. As I watched her walk to the fence, it again provided a contrast for me - do I settle for the small Asian girl with the goofy cap, or do I continue to aimlessly pursue my futile goal of finding a white girl?

We packed up and went to the swimming pool. There were a couple of guys in the spa, but the rest of the pool was clear for us. We went into the change rooms to change, even though I only needed to take off my jersey and shorts.

She looked a bit better without the cap, but I was still wondering how she looked so different on the night of the dinner. We went into the water, and I was a bit tentative cause it looked kinda cold, but like she said, it actually wasn't too bad once we were submerged in it.

While she paddled around, I kinda just walked around following her, as I didn't know how to do breast stroke to mimic her. We talked, and often I would break off to swim to the other side where we'd talk again, and then go back to the shallow side.

We talked about the moon, how amazing it was to think this planet was the only one with life on it (although she disagreed, even though she's not religious) and a bit about my family (also found out she lives with her family). I didn't like the talk about my family. She seemed to talk a bit about my sister, wondering why she never went out and suggested that she meet up with her to meet more guys together. That kinda struck a funny chord with me.

I must admit, it was kinda romantic later on when the sun started setting and it was almost dark, with just the moonlight as the only source of light. However, me being me, I naturally kept my distance. I didn't even try to be playful by flicking water at her. At this stage, I guess most guys would've tried to go for a kiss, but I just couldn't do it, because of my natural predisposition to be distant from others.

After a while we decided to finish up and get out of the water. It was pretty dark by now and she dried herself by the side of the pool while I decided to do it in the change room.

I was a bit surprised to see her standing there in her swimsuit even after I had changed, as I feared she might get a cold, but she said it was ok.

Leaving was a bit awkward, as I felt like we didn't know if there should be some sort of physical contact or not. It kinda seemed like she didn't want to leave, yet the situation demanded it.

I was kinda relieved in one sense when I got back into my car, feeling that nothing had really ruined the day. I saw I had a missed call from G. I thought he wanted to ask how it went but turns out he wanted to ask me a legal question. I said I'd drive to his place to return the racquet and we could talk then.

On the drive there, the main difference that stood out for me between Amanda and Chloe was that I wasn't thinking of paying Naby a visit afterwards. I mean, and this might sound bad, but during my time with Chloe, all I could think about was how I was going to see Naby afterwards. I didn't have that with Amanda. Instead, part of me thinks that maybe she can be the one to steer me in the right direction. But another part of me is asking: is she good looking enough?

Anyway, I went to G's place and got invited in to help with the legal form he was completing. His dad offered me coke and watermelon, and I only had the watermelon as I was still trying to stay away from caffeine. I helped him and we talked a bit about Amanda, all I could offer was that we had a lot of similarities.

The Amanda messages

Skipped gym in the morning because I needed to get in early to meet Steve for court. I went to get some Macca's for breakfast and arrived at the office at about 8:10am. Steve got in a few minutes before, and we started getting everything ready for court.

On the walk to court, we talked mainly about the case. He seemed to be really interested in this matter (which is mine) which was good. I've come to realise that he doesn't hate me, but for whatever reason in the beginning he just didn't want to have prolong conversations with me, but it all seems cool now.

We met with the tall, handsome police officer at court. Steve's first remark was "wow, you're a giant" lol. We went into the building and waited a while before being told it would start at 10:30am.

So we went across the road for coffee. Steve was in my position - the day before payday, he only had $5, lol. So we all bought our own coffee. I had a short black despite my caffeine prohibition, but figured it was just one anyway.

We sat down and talked about other matters in the past. Turns out we had all tried to apply for the spy agency before, lol. As we talked, I looked at the police officer and realised he looked a bit like Egghead, and started to see him like that - you know, someone who had a social life and their own personal opinions on people and things.

We returned to court for a short while since it turned out to be an adjournment only. On the walk back we all talked about the case. I think the officer was bored, as he seemed to want to go his own separate way a bit too soon.

I was glad to be back in the office, as I had a lot of catching up to do. The life style in this division reminds me of the life style I had working for Nom - sometimes it gets so busy that you're in court all the time and you don't have time to do office work.

At around midday, I got a message from Amanda.

Amanda @ 12:09 - Hey [insert name here], how are you? It was nice meeting you on Monday night. How is your schedule like at work? You wanna meet for coffee/lunch sometime in city?

I was surprised, to say the least. I didn't think I had much hope, since I didn't detect any signals from her that night, and I was sure she came across better looking guys when we switched tables.

I was definitely up for lunch, but I didn't want to reply straight away, you know, to build up some anticipation. And then, more messages arrived.

Amanda @ 12:25 - [insert name here], are you free to play tennis with me and G on Sat morning? I will call my friend Karen to see if she is free. Then we haves doubles match!

Saturday? SATURDAY??? I already agreed with Bo to meet them for basketball training...and I won't be deterred from my basketball by girls!

Then G got involved.

G @ 13:13 - Coming on Sat for tennis?

Great...

Me @ 13:24 - Hey Amanda, good to hear from you :) lunch sounds great, are you free tomorrow? About tennis, I have basketball training on Saturday, would it be possible to make it Sunday?

Amanda @ 13:51 - Yes let's do lunch tomorrow. What time and where? You work in Town Hall right? I'm flexible.

Me @ 13:51 - I'm on [insert street name here]...if you're near V Club we can meet at Town Hall, but if that's too far for you let me know

Amanda @ 13:53 - Karen and G are in for tennis tomorrow. Karen is not free this Sunday and neither am I.

Oh, so she switched tennis from Saturday to tomorrow...

Me @ 13:53 - Tennis tomorrow after work?

Amanda @ 13:56 - I don't work near town hall but I can get there. Is 12:30pm good for you?

Me @ 13:56 - 1230 sounds great, see you then!

There, that should finish this back and forth convo, I have work to do!

Amanda @ 13:59 - Yes I can play tennis after work tomorrow. Where do you live?

Amanda @ 14:00 - So do you wanna meet at town hall steps?

Me @ 14:00 - I live in [insert suburb here], I can just bring a change of clothes to work. Town Hall steps is cool.

Amanda @ 14:09 - Do you drive to work? Just wondering if it's convenient for you to go home as I live in Gladesville.

Me @ 14:11 - It's ok, I can drive tomorrow, it'll be quicker, we need to make the most of daylight!

You better have the car tomorrow.

Amanda @ 14:11 - Summer is great! I love the longer days as well. Hey bring your boardshorts/swim gear as well. I have pool...can have a dip.

?????????

Amanda @ 14:25 - It's just you and me tomorrow for tennis. You okay with that? You want me to ask your buddy, Ge to come along, I'm terrible at tennis as I'm only a beginner. You might get bored of me!!

Me @ 14:27 - That's fine, I'm pretty bad too, so we'll see who is worse!

Amanda @ 14:31 - Lol! Ok talk more tomorrow at lunch.

I was glad that was over, because I really had some urgent work to do. Some of Sarah's matters were starting to blow up and I had to make and receive urgent calls. Damn that cop who never called back.

Some lady from finance was retiring and they had an afternoon tea for her at 3pm, which I didn't realise and didn't go to. Don't even know why she's retiring, she's not even that old. I thought the office was a bit too empty and then realised it. I saw Steve working with his door closed, so I figured I'd just copy him and keep working.

Today was also Karina's last day. I went to see her at about 3:30pm and we had a talk. During the talk, I kept wondering how I should close out. It felt like some physical contact was required, but she was sitting down and I was standing up. I had decided to shake her hand, when she got up and we hugged and she kissed me on the cheek. That solved that problem.

I went back up to do my work, and in the late afternoon, an email came around advertising for the SLO positions. I had begun thinking about applying for it. There was nothing to lose, was there? I might be a surprise draw and get it, even though I doubted it. But what better time than now, when Sarah will be leaving, which 1) makes it easier for her to give me a reference, and 2) gives me the opportunity to take her place. And I have to do a job application anyway, so might as well have a go!

Will consider this more.

I did plan to go to the gym after work, but found out I had no car. I had also wanted to go borrow G's tennis racket, but that will have to wait till tomorrow morning. Instead, I spent the time cutting my toenails just in case I will be swimming tomorrow. Man, getting ready for a date is hard work.

Naby Valentine's

What a big day yesterday.

I skipped gym in the morning because I had court, so I got to the office at about 8am just to make sure I had everything ready. It was one of Sarah's matters where I would be instructing Georgina.

I met Caroline and the maid outside court, and it was a bit awkward at first but then Caroline suggested coffee. While waiting for them, I spotted Georgina and went out to get her. We gathered around and then decided to go get a conference room.

In the room, we talked about the maid's statement a bit before Georgina and I went out to wait for court to open. We talked a bit about eachother, before we went into court. Matter was mentioned but we had to wait for our matter to be allocated. She had me sit in court to wait for the matter to be mentioned while she went to discuss the matter with defence.

Later on I ended up in the room with them, and goddamn they were pushy! The sol called Jason was a bit of a prick, always pushing more and more, and looking to trap Georgina into any corner they could find. I was proud of the way she stood up against them, and just said no to things they wanted. Their barista, who was supposed to be quite famous, was a bit more courteous but still just as pushy.

The negotiations went on for a long time. We got allocated at close to 1pm, and then because it was so close to lunch, the mag decided to do it at 2pm anyway. This was good, because it gave me time to go back to the office to photocopy things and to make some phone calls.

Ele had messaged me for lunch, but I had to decline. She would've returned from China the day before. Wonder why she was so eager to meet. If she wasn't married, the smiley face she put when she said next time would've made me think she was interested.

I had to miss lunch to do all my work, and got so caught up I was late in getting back to court. I don't know how late I was, but by the time I got there Georgina was on her feet. I was wondering what she was saying since I had the documents everyone needed. I apologised when she sat down but she didn't seem to mind. She seemed to appreciate my assistance once I was there.

It didn't end up finishing, because the mag wanted to think about it and adjourn it to the next day.

I went back to the office and did some urgent things before finishing up at about 5:30pm. I had decided to see Naby, so I went off in search of my Valentine's Day presents even though I hadn't confirmed whether she'd be working or not.

I went to Morning Glory and bought the Domo tissue case. I then went to Kinokuniya to buy the music box. I then caught the bus home, put the stuff in my car, went up to freshen up a bit before driving off to Chatty. I looked at the time and realised there was no way I was going to make it to dinner by 7pm.

I got stuck in traffic just before I got onto the bridge. It was so bad I thought about giving up. I had already messaged G that I'd be late, maybe I could tell him I was bailing, go see Naby and have an early night?

But even if I did decide to give up, I couldn't just u-turn and get out of there, I was basically in a tunnel, so I had to go through it anyway. As it turns out, when I got through that jam, traffic was flowing pretty well.

I got to Chatty about 15 minutes late and found parking after driving around the block a couple of times. I called G and he said he saw me drive around, and I later found him standing outside the restaurant waiting for me. It was a bit unusual I thought - he didn't normally need my support, but here he was waiting for me. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure we'd sit together.

Anyway, we went in, signed off (and they had our names ON THE LIST instead of the other one, not organised by this group, which I suspect had rigged the list) and paid. We stood around wondering where to sit for a while. A lot of people had been seated, and there really were no instructions as to where to sit. I spotted a table where only a guy and girl were seated, so I thought that would be good. Every other table had at least three or four people on it.

G still seemed undecided, so I pushed him a bit more. We walked over, and turns out there were two girls and a guy. We said hello and sat down. We introduced ourselves. The guy had the same name as me. I didn't get the name of the girl sitting next to the wall, but next to her was Amanda.

Amanda seemed quite outgoing. I thought she was ok looking, but I think a bit of attraction built up for me when I found out she went to the gym everyday, enjoyed sports and the outdoor, and was willing to try anything once. Her parents were from Hong Kong and she was born here. I felt like I had met my equal. She said she was in HR information systems and had travelled the world quite a bit.

I thought there was a bit of connection there until I thought about it too much, which made me just sit there and admire her which may have freaked her out. I liked the way she was willing to eat the chicken wings with her hands, whereas the rest of us were trying to be 'polite' by eating it with chopsticks. She seemed like a bit of a tomboy, and I liked that. She looked like the type who wasn't afraid to roll their sleeves up to get the job done.

She suggested we (G and I) meet up at her place to play tennis one day. I thought that was a great idea, but then nothing much happened. In the middle of dinner another girl arrived, her name was Miki, or Niki. She seemed more like G's type, and I was glad we now had three girls and three guys on our table. She didn't seem to want to talk to me much, but I didn't care, my attention was on Amanda. I did, however, try to talk to her at times to get my attention off Amanda, and also because I remembered reading about that 'trick' you do by focusing on another girl, as long as you're not focusing on the girl you want.

Later on Amanda brought up tennis again, and got out her phone. She was about to have G type his number in, but she noted his oily hands and typed it in herself. I thought I was next and took my phone out to get her number as well, but she got Miki's number. Finally, she handed me her phone and I put in my number, and asked her to call me. She did, and I saved her number.

Nothing significant really happened after that, just normal chit chat. Although when we were talking about games, she did say "I don't play games" which I thought may have been a hint as to her personality. The guy with the same name as me had locked in to the girl against the wall, and I was glad cause that meant it was just the four of us. But later on, we had to switch tables, where the girls stayed but the guys changed tables so we could all meet new people. This wasn't good - I had looked around before and thought we had gotten the best table (really not many lookers there). I soooooo didn't want to leave.

All the guys were given one small chocolate heart to give to a girl of their choice. No doubt, I wanted to give mine to Amanda - but how? I placed it in my shirt pocket so it wouldn't melt.

But anyway, us three guys moved onto the next table where it was a bit awkward because two of the girls had to leave, so only one girl was left. We had a bit of a laugh about it, but because she was sitting opposite G, they ended up talking, while I just talked to the guy with the same name as me.

We moved onto another table with Jessica and Emily. We joked around a bit about seeing eachother here. Emily said "nice to meet you" and I was like "don't you recognise me?", thinking she was serious for a second. She said "of course I do" and we started talking. She hadn't replied to my comment on her fb, so I assumed she wasn't interested, which in turn meant no pressure or expectations on my part.

Turns out that she's only at the pharmacist casually, but also does interpreting work. She said interpreting for court was very stressful, so she prefers to translate. When she found out what I did, she started asking me questions about how a girl could avoid going to court for an AVO. I figured it was her, and thought "great, why do I meet all these psycho chicks", but then she said she had a friend who was in that situation.

She asked for my card and I gave it to her. As we left, she said to invite her to anything William was organising.

At our next table, I sat next to G and we 'worked' on these two girls, even though neither of us were interested in them. The guy with the same name as me was clever - he pulled his chair up to the side of his girl to get closer. But anyway, it only looked like we were 'working' on the girls because we were just talking to them, it always seems like that when you're a guy. Sometimes during short awkward silences, the girl in front of me would turn to her friend and giggle. I wondered what was so funny.

Our next table was in the corner, where G and I met two sisters. Not lookers at all, but we had a good time talking. I really felt like G and I were getting in tune with eachother. Sometimes I'd accidentally cut him off, but then I'd make up for it by directing the conversation towards him with a compliment.

Our next table would be our last, and for some reason some guy didn't move, so G didn't have a seat, but it didn't matter anyway, since he wanted to avoid his ex-girlfriend's flatmate. I talked to this very chubby girl, and decided to use it as practice. I doubt she was interested in me, so I guess we were both just being polite. She did, however, say she recognised me from the charity event.

After that Mike the organiser tried to get everyone into a group photo, but it seemed like only the guys were up for it, as we all stood there waiting. I kept looking over at Amanda and wanting her to come over. After a while, she walked through (she's a lot shorter than I thought) with her friend and left. I said something but she probably thought I was saying it to the guys there, so she just walked past. And that was it.

After some standing around, I prompted G to go. I wanted to talk to him about Amanda, so I asked him to drive me to my car even though I hadn't parked far away. Even he agreed Miki didn't seem that interested in me, so I was glad my detection skills weren't that bad. He seemed a bit hesitant to express an opinion on Amanda though...

We couldn't find the place I had parked so I got out and walked my way back to my car, lol. I started driving to the city and then made the call.

Yes, Naby was working. I made a booking for 11:30pm. I realised that was the perfect timing to make it just in time for Valentine's Day.

I got there at about 11:10pm, and parked behind a Rav4 with a couple standing near it smoking. I didn't really want them to see me go in so I sat in my car waiting. They got in their car and sat there. At about 11:25pm I finally got out of my car, put the Domo in my suit pocket and went in.

The guy told me to wait seven minutes, which obviously meant she was with someone. Grrr.

Sunny had been trying to get in touch with me all day so I used the time to get back to him. He called and I wans't sure if I should answer, but I did anyway. He was asking about a friend who had been charged with drink driving. I started telling him about it, and after a while the guy said "Bibi is ready". I walked out and saw her, but was still on the phone.

She saw that and grabbed the drink from my hand and led me up the stairs as I talked to Sunny.

Damn her loud footsteps...

As we neared the room I hurried to end the call. As I did, Naby said something, and I wasn't too sure if the call ended before that.

Anyway, she went out to get her stuff and then came back in. I took my suit off and she tried to take it off me to hang up on the hook. I stopped her, and remembered she didn't know my plan - as far as she was aware I was there for sex. I told her I was tired and said I wanted to talk. For a brief moment I thought she'd say no, or just get freaked out.

I sat on the bed, placing my jacket on my right side as she put down some things on the bedside table. When she finished, I patted the area in between my legs and she sat there. It wasn't exactly as I had pictured - I had imagined her sitting with her back to me and me holding her from behind. Here, she had sat with her left side facing me, so we sat perpendicular to eachother.

I asked her if she was "chooa" and she said no, but I placed my jacket on her anyway. I don't know why, but there is something really sexy about a girl wearing a guy's jacket like that (without putting the arms through). I held her. It felt good.

She asked me if I had come from work and I said yes. She asked if I had had dinner and I said yes. She asked what I had, and I said it was like barbeque, with chicken, pork and lamb.

I reached into the pocket and said I had a present for her. I had a bit of trouble pulling it out, which just raised her anticipation and curiousity. When I finally pulled it out, she made an interested noise and said it was cute. She also noted it was a tissue holder. When I had bought the Domo, I thought maybe it was a bit too immature for her, but that the music box would suit her. But here, it seemed to be the opposite, she seemed to quite enjoy the Domo.

She figured out instantly there was something inside. She tried to pull it out through the tissue hole, but then instantly realised she needed to unzip it, which was a lot quicker than me, because I tried a lot more attempts to get the music box in through that hole.

She pulled out the music box and didn't seem to know what it was at first. I asked her to open it, and after saying it again, she did. She pulled it out of its box and then figured out you needed to turn the handle. As she started to turn it and music played, she figured out you needed to keep turning it to keep the music going. She was trying to figure out how it worked, and then realised the small dots hitting the keys created the sounds.

She returned her attention to the Domo and said it was cute. I asked her if she knew why I bought that for her, and she said no. I said the teeth looked like her teeth, which made her laugh, lol. I loved that laugh. I loved making her laugh. She playfully said no, and that it resembled my teeth. I gritted my teeth playfully and said it was like her.

She put the music box back into the box and then back into the Domo. I held her. We kissed from time to time - sometimes lip to lip, sometimes I kissed her on the cheek, sometimes she kissed me on the cheek. At other times, I just leaned into her and closed my eyes and rested. She seemed to read me pretty well, knowing what I wanted to do. It felt sooo relaxing to be able to hold her and lean into her. It felt like the whole day's pressure was worth it.

I told her she was good luck because the day after I saw her, I got promoted. She didn't know what I meant at first until I made a hand gesturing from low to high. She seemed pretty proud and kissed me.

Sometimes, as I leaned into her, I could see how her breasts were so easily accessible to me underneath her bra, and I was aroused by it a bit, but I preferred to just hold her. Sometimes there'd be moments of silence where I'd just hold her, and sometimes we'd talk. She kept rubbing/massaging my left arm as I held her. When we talked, we talked about the following:

- I asked her what she had wanted to be when she was young, she didn't seem to understand, but after a few more tries, she said "you mean dream?" and I said yes. I had given her my example of how I wanted to be a basketball player. She said she wanted to open up a clothing store in Korea. I asked "not here?" and she said maybe, but that her mother was by herself in Korea. I asked what happened to her father, and she said he had passed away when she was young.

- I asked her why she always seemed happy, since everyone gets angry, sad, happy. She said "because of you" and I was like "chincha?". I knew it was an easy line and lie for her, but it did feel playfully good.

- when I was leaning against her, resting my chin on her shoulder, there was a long period of silence, and then she asked "what are you thinking?" I said I wanted to hold her forever. She said something but I can't remember what. Earlier I had also said I wanted to hold her until she was 99 but she didn't say anything.

Sometimes I would pull back to study her face. It was like I wanted to visually record it. She would look back into my eyes. At one stage I'd cock my head right, and she'd cock her head right. When I'd go left, she'd go left, lol.

She said the Domo looked like me, and put it next to my face. I took it from her and placed it next to her, and pretended to look lost from her to Domo, and was like "huh? Naby?" which made her laugh and say in her accent "no" lol.

I remembered the chocolate heart in my pocket and pulled it out for her, but I felt it had gone soft and said "awww it's melted". I was about to put it back when she reached out for it and took it. She felt it softly and then kept it.

She grabbed my keys and looked through them. She noted how there were many, and I noticed she seemed to skip paying any attention to my car key.

Her alarm went off, signalling the end of the session. She made some snoring sounds, which I didn't really get. She asked if I was going home, and I said "next girl" and then "next shop". She playfully said "you want to die?" and then tried to twist my nipples and feigned a punch to my face, and I pretended to be knocked back by it.

She shuffled off the bed, and in the process sat on my leg. She still had my jacket on as I put my shoes on. She threw the ice cube into the shower, and I said I heard it was bad for teeth, and she agreed. When she was fixing up the bed, the jacet had slipped off a bit so I adjusted it for her. She then took it off and held it out for me to put on, so I turned around with my arms out and she put it on for me.

We kissed, and as we headed for the door, she said to drive safely. I softly said "to next shop" and she again turned around and playfully threatened me.

She walked down the stairs first, and I noticed when she reached the bottom that she was holding the Domo. I was surprised she didn't try to hide it. We smiled as I left.

There were two girls who were waiting outside, presumably for a taxi. They were Asian, so I figured they worked at the shop. They probably saw it was Naby who I had seen, and I saw one had looked at me. I crossed the street to my car and drove home.

Today
I was pretty busy working for the first half of the day, and then had to meet up for Karina's farewell lunch because it was her second last day.

Ogre and I went down to the lobby together. In the lift we got talking about corruption, and I started telling her about the brothel statement I read, and she asked "which brothel is this?" and I told her the suburb. But in hindsight, I wonder why she asked such a question? Had she seen me go into Naby's shop?

We bumped into Lewis and then the three of us waited. I called Karina who said she was coming down. We talked a bit before Karina came down and we headed off. She said Zena and Emma had forgotten about it - what the hell???

We went to that dumplings place as planned, but it was pretty packed, so we went to a bar restaurant next door. Zena and Emma joined eventually arrived, and we all had pizza. It was good to get together once more, but I felt things had changed a lot. Emma and Zena were now clearly a team amongst themselves, and I was a bit wary about talking anything level 11 related as Ogre was there and I could see her watching me everytime I mentioned something about somebody.

At about 1:40pm I knew it was time to go to court so I was on the lookout for a break in the conversation to make my exit. It wasn't forthcoming so I just got up and said I needed to go, and told Karina I'd see her tomorrow just so my exit wouldn't be final or anything.

I left feeling relieved, but knew that they'd probably start talking about me as soon as I departed. Oh well.

I arrived at court before it resumed, and headed straight to the bathroom and waved at Christina. I went to sit next to her when I came out, and she asked me about my matter. Lately I've gotten this distinct feeling that she's out to test me, to see what I'm made of, and really why I was chosen to come up to level 11. It's like she's picking my files apart to look for any errors and interrogating me.

Like when I was telling her about my matter, she kept saying "you should've charged them with this" and I was like "it's not my file..."

Court opened soon and we went in. I was a bit nervous at first about appearing before her, particularly now since she seemed to pull me apart to examine me. But then I just thought "screw it". The mag did other matters first, which completed Christina's list, and surprisingly she said she was going back to the office and would send someone to collect the trolley.

I took her seat and my matter was mentioned. The mag was just reading out the reasons and I was just scribblinh away madly. After a while I could see a potential issue looming with possible questions from the mag, so I started looking through the file for a response, and then wondered how much of our internal decision making could be revealed to the court. I decided to look around to see if Wendy F was around first, because I knew she had a matter in court that day, but to my surprise Christina was sitting there in the first row. I turned back around and kept taking notes.

My matter had to be stood down, and then Christina took my seat again and wrote something down for another matter, and then she left and my matter resumed, and was adjourned.

After work, I went to the gym. It was quite busy for a Tuesday, so I had some trouble finding stuff to do after my knee exercises, but I was happy to float around and wait because I was just in that mood to stay there forever.

I made the dumbest mistake ever. I was talking to Scope about trading shares, and he said he was reducing his hours to focus more on trading. He went offline, and I sent a message to Shuing telling him that and I was worried. But as it was going through, I noticed I was sending it to Hung!!!

Damn this no cancellation thing!!

I quickly sent an apology and then called him. I explained to him it was meant for Shuing and why I was worried, saying I had been trying to get Shuing to talk to him about the dangers of the market. He seemed pretty ok, saying he knew what he was doing.

I hope I haven't lost a friend.

Must resist...the dark hadou...

In the morning I went to the courts for a shootaround. That bum looking guy with the bike was there again from last week. Last week I was about to set up on the other side of his court and he said he needed a full court. Fair enough, I thought, as sometimes people like me like to run up and down a full court. But then he really only used half a court at a time, not doing any running at all. Hmmm.

Anyway, this time as I was walking past his ball was coming towards me. I thought about hitting it back to him but he was close enough to it, so we just stared at eachother. I realised he's a lot older than I thought.

I started off with suicides, and already I could feel my knee in pain. I thought I almost came off limping towards the end. I shot around, telling myself I couldn't last long like this, and also that I better tell Bo that I wouldn't be ready for May. I had no idea it was this bad, I thought I had recovered during the week. But as I went on, the pain disappeared and everything returned to normal (well, as normal as it's been since surgery).

I had fun shooting around, and thinking about the science of Ray Ray's shot kept me motivated.

After a while I made myself hit a three before I left. I had a shower and breakfast before catching the bus out to the city. I went to the office to do some work. I had planned to take my gym bag so I could go to the gym afterwards, but then decided to leave it at home just in case I decided to go to the casino.

I was surprised to see my level was unlocked, but figured someone like Mary probably left it like that on Friday. I took a walk around the floor and saw Melanie working. We talked a bit, and I found out she has swapped her list again on Tuesday with Christina. I wonder why.

Anyway, I went to my room to work, and a short while later I heard some noises nearby. I figured it was Melanie, but later she called saying she was leaving but Sarah had arrived, so it must've been Sarah. She had her door closed so I didn't disturb her, but then she came in and we talked a bit.

She asked me what I was doing at work, and I said "I should be asking you that". She said she was studying on level 7 but came up to check her emails. We talked about some of the matters she had left me, and then towards the end she just kinda walked off, looking at me and smiling. I've found that about me and her thus far - we can't find a way to say bye, we just simply walk off at the end of our coversations, lol. I don't think that happened with Alanna.

I finished at about 2pm and left. I had decided to go to the casino. I was set for it. It'd be $500, and I told myself I could cop that even though my credit card debt had gone to $10,000 now with the glasses.

But first I decided to go check out some possible Valentine's Day present for Naby. I went to Morning Glory and took a walk around. I saw a cute domo tissue thing and put that on my 'maybes' list. I thought maybe it would be a good idea because I could use it to make fun of Naby's teeth:



I then walked up along the main street of the city, heading for the ATM to withdraw my money out. But then I decided not to go. Instead, I wanted KFC. The main thing stopping me was the thought that the police might obtain CCTV footage of the casino for some money laundering case, and I could just feel the embarassment now if a lawyer from my office was watching it and recognised me. That was enough to stop me.

So I went to have lunch at KFC, got disgusted by it midway through. It's funny how the mind works. It makes you really want something, but when you actually get it, you really wonder why you wanted it in the first place. Maybe I would've felt the same way had I gone to the casino.

After that I went to Kinokuniya to look for more potential gifts. They still sell those tiny music boxes, and I thought that would be a good idea to be presented inside the Domo.

My current fantasy is booking for half an hour, telling her I'm tired and just want to talk. I'd sit on the bed against the headrest, and have her sit in front of me. I'd cover her with my jacket, and then pull the domo out, and have her find the music box within. I'd spend the rest of the time leaning against her back with my eyes closed, just enjoying the moment.

I thought about walking home, feeling Ryu-ish again after managing to defeat the dark hadou within me (for the time being). But it was starting to rain so I caught the bus home.

The car was home, and again the dark hadou struck within - thoughts of driving to the casino started occupying my mind, but then I got changed and drove to the gym to do my knee exercises. I also did some weights and really tired my arms out. I had taken my ball, wanting to go to the courts but it was raining.

At home, I watched one of the Street Fighter animes and returned slightly to peace within. Gambling suddenly seemed like a distant and stupid idea. It's amazing what this addiction can do. It's even more amazing that it's striking me now, almost seven months onwards. I thought I had put it behind me, but I guess it's become too much for me to handle.

Must...fight this...dark hadou...