First scratch of the car

Woke up late today, made myself some breakfast before getting ready to pick up my mom to drive her shopping. While she went shopping, I went to the shopping centre and played around on my laptop waiting.

After shopping I dropped her home and then I went to the casino, where I won $200 and got the hell out of there. Ended up getting a $81 parking ticket because I didn't buy a ticket for where I parked, thinking that I wouldn't be caught.

I decided to take my car to the car wash because we get free car wash service for a year from the dealership. I marvelled at all the cars going into the huge car wash machine and coming out all shiny and clean.

When my car was ready, I noticed how on closer inspection it wasn't that detailed of a clean, as the birdshit stain was somewhat still visible.

I drove home and parked awkwardly because my neighbour was partially blocking my drive way. As I opened the garage, I looked at how clean my car appeared to be, and then got in to drive it into the garage. As I got in I heard a soft noise and the car rattled.

Fuck.

I checked it out and I had scratched it bad. Fucking hell. All because I couldn't get a good position to start with because my fucking neighbour was blocking my driveway.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Bob's 26th

Didn't like DC too much at work yesterday. As soon as I got in he started asking me stuff and asking me to do things before I had even settled, and what's more, for some reason he was sitting at my desk.

He asked me to write an email to our computer expert, and he kept loading it up with questions. As I was typing it I knew that he was probably asking for too much, but part of me thought that it must've been ok if he was asking me to do it. Of course, two minutes after the email was sent, the computer expert calls back and says that if we want to ask questions like that then we'd have to book a conference (so he can make some money out of it). And then DC walks away and says "busted". Grrr.

I think he was stressed out, and this must be the way he releases stress. When GS arrived, we found out that we may have made a huge blunder. It happened when I first started the job, and at that time I didn't know much about anything. Anyway, I like how GS handles such situations. Although he knows it could be catastrophic, he stays calm and analyses the situation, looking at possible avenues. DC on the other hand, keeps giving out reassurances at a million miles per hour, and I've learnt from Nom that you have to be really careful with people who tend to simplify things.

It was a half day at court yesterday, and everyone pretty much left at lunch. I stayed back, partly because I had to wait for the other side to give me something, but I would've stayed anyway as I wanted to read up on some stuff.

After work I caught the train home, and Michelle called me, saying she wanted to give Malay and I a lift (because she wanted me to drive so she could put on her make up). I said ok, but I told her my prediction that Malay wasn't going to be ready in time when she told me he had had only three hours.

I got home, changed and went to Malay's place to wait downstairs. Just as I thought, he was asleep when I called him and he didn't even sound like he wanted to come out. Michelle was running late, and after about 15 minutes of waiting, she called out to me from across the road. I walked slowly towards her and then we went to her rented car. I got in the driver's seat and there was Amy. I don't know her that well, but I've seen her on a few occasions. She seems fairly easy to get along with.

I played around with the console within the car before Malay finally arrived. I drove cautiously to the city because I wasn't used to this car, and also because I wasn't sure of what the consequences would be if I damaged this car.

We went to an underground car park in the city, where Michelle directed me to park in this seemingly tight spot, which I just managed to squeeze in with her aid in spotting me. When I got out, I had a look and realised there was a "small cars only" sign above. Far out.

We walked to the meeting place, and when Michelle called Bob she found out that they were already walking to the restaurant. I had told Claire to meet here, and I didn't know where the restaurant was exactly so I couldn't tell her, and so I decided to wait for her. Michelle and Amy went off to the restaurant, while Malay waited with me. We sat on a bench for a while. I called Claire but she didn't pick up.

As I sat there with Malay, I couldn't help feeling a bit eager to see her. Maybe a bit nervous too. I thought I had forgotten what she looked like, as Malay and I kept looking at girls walking past thinking that it was her.

A while later she called back and said she was nearby. Malay and I walked around to the main street and waited for her. She came towards us from the street and we waved and said hello. I don't know why, but it was so easy to get along with her. Conversation went smoothly and there were lots of laughs. When I first heard her voice it made me think about Ele's voice and how I had perhaps gotten used to that.

The three of us had a bit of a problem finding the restaurant because we were on the wrong street, but we found it eventually and arrived at the same time as Shuing. While we were walking there I asked her how she knew Bec and she said Bec was a friend's friend. I told her how I used to work with Bec, and that the people there didn't have much in common except bagging the boss. I said before work we'd bag the boss, after work we'd bag the boss, and we'd meet up outside of work to bag the boss. Funnily enough she was able to finish my sentences, which made me feel that we were getting along really well.

Everyone was seated already: Brain, Scope, Thai, Bob, Michael L, Eva, Michelle, Amy, G. Claire wanted to sit in the corner where Thai and Brain were, and I ended up hovering around the front of the table and next to Amy. I didn't really want to sit there, but there wasn't anything else. I decided to sit next to Amy and had my second guesses when Claire kept wanting to sit in the corner instead of in the seat next to me at the head of the table. I think someone else took her seat so she had to come sit next to me anyway. She said she didn't want to sit at the head of the table because it made her feel like she was the birthday girl.

The food was bloody expensive, and Michelle sent me (and Shuing as well) a message during dinner apologising, saying she didn't look at the menu carefully. Claire and I were smart to just get the cheapest yet most sufficient meal.

We spoke to eachother a lot during dinner. Occasionally she'd talk to Eva or Amy, but Michael L had Eva and Amy kinda talked everywhere. It was quite fun talking to her, wasn't boring at all. We shared some of our food and I was going to give her some of my udon because I thought what she ordered was small, but I think they got the order wrong and then her rice came.

There was a mini-group discussion between me, Claire, Michael L, Eva and Amy about making money out of weddings and I suggested that you could just marry someone, divorce them, repeat the marriage again and so on just to make money. I knew it wasn't a very flash topic with the girls because marriage is a very special topic for them, but surprisingly Claire agreed with me.

I took photos and videos during the dinner. There's this one video where I push the camera closer to her face and she squeals away shyly, and then there's another bit where I turned the camera towards us and we leaned into eachother to strike a pose, lol.

At the end of the dinner we had the champagne that Michelle brought. Claire said she got too much so I offered to take some, and she tipped some from her glass to mine. We also had cake, and watched as Bob blew out the candles on the cake.

After dinner we went to the arcade machines to try and get some toys again. Shuing was the first one to get a pink dog and he gave it to Claire. I had two attempts at the huge one and nearly got the turtle which Eva wanted me to get, but then gave up on it as it was $5 a pop for the big one. I got a small toy and gave it to Claire. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but Michelle had this look on her face when I gave it to Claire. It was as if she was expecting to get it and felt hurt that I gave it to someone else.

Shuing had a go at another pink dog, and he gave up when I thought he was close, so I continued his efforts and got it, and gave it to Michelle. Later, I was trying to get this green toy which was soooo close to falling down the tube. I spent like $6 or $8 getting it closer and closer before I ran out of money. I couldn't bare the thought of having doen this beautiful set up for someone else to come along and grab it, so I persuaded Shuing and he ended up getting it, claiming it was a team effort and we gave it to Eva.

After that we went to Karaoke. When gaining access through the bouncer, we had to show our ID. Claire had her drivers licence out and showed me her photo saying that that was her favourite photo. I showed her mine and said the same. She looked at it and said "that was exactly how you looked like at uni!" and asked if I took that during uni. I can't remember if I did, but I guess so. Damn, have I really changed that much?

I was the last the get into the room because when I found out what room it was, I went to the toilet. When I returned there was only a space left in the corner between Claire and Michelle, so I snuck in there.

Claire sang the first song. She must have a lot of practice because she's pretty good. I wasn't planning to sing at all, until Malay gave me the microphone for 'My All', and I initially resisted before giving in and singing along with Malay.

Claire didn't end up singing as much as I thought she would, she sang maybe about 3 or 4 songs. I sang about two or three, including 'Unwell' and some Maroon 5 song which I sang making fun of Linda to Bob.

Michelle didn't sing at all, which surprised me because I thought she was the karaoke type. She fell asleep lying on Malay's shoulders before security came in and said she had to wake up or she'd be asked to leave. Apparently they kick drunks off their premises (not that she was drunk).

Apparently Shuing's theory that Asian girls shouldn't be negged has been refuted. I negged Claire quite a bit during the night, and she started playfully feigning to slap me. I can't remember the negs, but one of them was during karaoke when I was searching for songs and saw '1,000 Pounds of Clay' and I said to her "I thought that was '1,000 pounds of Claire'" and she turned around to pretend to hit me.

There was a group photo taken, and we all squashed into the middle. I was leaning into Michelle a bit before I realised Claire was leaning into me, so I took the opportunity to wrap my left arm around the back of her seat. I WANT THAT PHOTO!

After one and a half hours at karaoke, we decided to call it a night. I didn't end up going in Michelle's car as I wanted to be part of the group walking Claire to her car, so I went with G's car. Shuing, G, Scope, Brain and I walked Claire to her car park, and made sure that she made it to her car safely before we all walked to G's car.

After G dropped me home, I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call from Michelle. I called her back thinking that she and Bob must've been out getting some dessert, and I wanted to go so I called her back. As it turned out, she must've been having one of her sleepless nights where she just wanted to talk, and we talked for about 10 minutes before I said I had to go to sleep.

I walked upstairs and sent Claire a message about her song 'Womanizer', to which she hasn't replied to thus far.

Thursday comp: 2-12-1

Yesterday I received a call from the other side. It was the old man who was there during the interview. He said they wanted to offer me a job but couldn't because of my trial, but asked me to call the other man when my trial was finished, on the assumption that it'd finish in late May/early June, and then they'd offer me the same contract that ends at the end of June.

I also found out that Shadi and Kylie got the job. Geez, they must've been running low on people. Although I'm happy for them, in the back of my mind I know I'll be competing against them for a permanent position. The difference? They have three months to impress; I have one.

The other thing that bothers me (and I relayed this to Bush when I called her) is that there's now a slight conflict for me. If there's a forensic decision that will impact on the length of the trial, will I be able to act objectively? My mindset is also beginning to change, I can feel it. Whereas before I was hoping that this would last forever, I'm now secretly urging for it to finish so I can move on. Is that bad of me?

I went to the gym last night. It's kinda cool to go near closing time. There aren't many people there so you can almost do whatever you want. I'm benching half of what I used to do, in fear of hurting my shoulder again. Besides, playing two games a week I think is enough on my body, I don't need to go full-on at the gym. WIth my arms though, I'm still trying to keep up the reps to get cut.

Nothing much happened at work today, everything was pretty normal. After work I just caught the train home, got changed, and drove off to bball. I was going to drive to an area popular with my client, just to check it out, but on the way I realised I didn't have time.

We played MHD. Only six of us turned up: me, Fab, Mike, Marco, Sheq and Abi was back. Abi's friends again did a no-show, I don't know why.

It took a while for us to warm up, but once we did, it looked like we'd be in with a chance. I hit my very first shot along the baseline. I caught the ball and didn't even think about shooting, but realised that my defender had given me too much space, so I shot it and it went in. I later hit a three with the defender palming my torso which I hate. I think that should be a foul. I also got a fast break lay-up off a pass from Marco, and at half time we were down by ten.

Since I had seven points at the half, I decided that I'd go all out to reach double digits. It didn't look like I'd do it when in the second half they completely ran us out of the game. At one stage, a guy ran off for a fast break and I sprinted after him. I remember seeing that Shannon Brown block/foul on youtube, and thought I'd do the same thing.

Alright Shannon Brown, here I come!

But before I even got to take off, someone else fouled him. I jumped anyway to try and snatch the ball from the air, and I swear to god, if I had tried to reach out for the ring, I would've touched it with ease. I haven't jumped like that for a long time.

When the game was out of our hands, I ran the ball up faster to try and get some easy points. I ran up quickly before their defence got set and managed to sneak in a floater. Then later on, I ran a break where I was fouled, chucked it up, then ran into Sheq. I thought I ran into someone from the other team. We collided so hard, I think my jaw hit his forehead, I thought at least one of us would bleed, more likely him. But he was more ok than I was, and he kept asking if I was ok. That's what I like about him, he's a tough cookie. And he's got a pretty nice smile as well. Very handsome if I might add.

I hit the first free throw and stood there waiting for the next one, until the ref yelled out that the basket counted. So there, I didn't even know it, but I hit the 12 point mark. Not a bad effort when we scored 32 points in total.

Right at the end of the game, we had like a 3 on 1 fastbreak. Marco drove baseline then got trapped in mid-air and dished it out to me on the other side. I could've shot it, but I passed it to Abi who hit the open three.

I felt our offense was a little bit better, with everyone setting screens and cutting. It's a lot easier to play without Abi's friends because they're still so new, so absent them means absent rookie mistakes.

Mike and I sat and talked about the game. He kept telling me what we needed to do. I didn't like it, but I told myself that it was the truth. We do need to drive and dish more. Sheq has a tendency to drive and shoot or drive and lose the ball. I'll try to remember that.

He also said some stuff which angered me inside. He said stuff like how no one's fast on our team, and how only Abi can hit threes. I'll admit to getting old, but I reckon I can still run with the best of them, and I can still hit threes. It's kinda funny, when I run, they tell me to slow down, so when I don't run, they exclaim that there's no one fast on the team...

Changeling

Yesterday afternoon, Michelle called me a couple of times about going to the movies. She said Bob wasn't going to go if Linda was there, and that Bob wouldn't let her go if he didn't go. Admittedly, I made it seem more likely than it did that Linda would go, but to be honest I wasn't sure if she'd be there or not, since Ele last time said Linda wanted to go.

Just like last time, I seemed to have some spare time to kill beforehand, and so I felt some nervousness as the clock quietly ticked towards 8:30. I decided to go humble and just wear jeans and my big loose purple hoodie. I'm tired of Bob's dress sense of wearing tight shirts and trying to show off your chest, arms and whatever the fuck else. Sometimes it's good just to be humble.

I went to the ATM to get some cash out and then went to get my car. I drove to her place, where I honked the horn, hoping she could hear it.

Ugh, why can't she wait outside at the designated time?

I rang her and said "your driver is here". She said "ok, we're coming downstairs now".

I sat in the car for a few more moments before I saw a female figure wearing what appeared to be a very short black skirt with stockings come out. It was Tracy. Why the hell did she dress like that??

Ele was wearing a sports jacket with the sleeves rolled up and wearing her white framed glasses. She walked across the front of my car, which made me wonder for a sec whether she recognised my car or not. She came to my window and handed me two green grapes, lol.

She walked back around the front and entered the front passenger door as I quickly ate the grapes. I wouldn't say I was surprised, but it's noteworthy to see that she entered the front passenger seat, instead of Tracy. When Tracy got into the car I said "you're back [from China], and you're back in my car". She noted how I got a new car and Ele said she didn't even realise because she forgot what my other car looked like.

She said she was bad with recognising cars, and that she only knew Bobby had a chunky car. Tracy was a little bit better, being able to recognise my car and Bob's car. There was some talk about G's car which Ele had never seen, and then we somehow got talk about shares and investing in companies. I said it was a form of gambling although Ele thought otherwise.

I asked Tracy how China was, and she said it was cold and how she didn't get to do much. Ele then said "he asked you about China, not you". I find that she teases Tracy a bit, kinda like how I do to the other guys.

I asked if Linda was coming, and Ele said Linda wanted to come last Tuesday. Didn't really matter to me.

I parked on the top level this time, close to the entrance to the cinemas. We walked in and didn't see Michael L, so I called him and he said he and Eva were just leaving home. Ele and Tracy bought their tickets, and I bought mine. The girl asked me if I wanted any popcorn or drinks, and I checked with Ele and she said she was getting a small popcorn, so I just got a medium coke.

After getting our tickets we hung around for a while. I asked her if that skills tester machine was a form of gambling and she said no. There was a bit more talk about that before changing topics. I noted how small Ele's bottle of drink was, and they said people were giving it out for free at their uni, and I said I thought they had finished their courses, but they said they went back to get the invitation for their graduations and that their parents were coming.

Ele was eating a lot of popcorn and then she got me to hold it, saying something like "you can be the holder". She plopped it in my arms, and then started grabbing some out. In the process she dropped a few on my arms, and I said "yeah, I'm also your rubbish bin". Ah you are a funny one.

She seemed pretty energetic for some reason, at one stage almost dancing/jumping around. I noted how she seemed happy and that she was wearing a shirt with a rainbow on it, and she asked what it meant, and I said "mardi gras".

Tracy asked me to open her Lipton ice tea drink. I opened it and then she said to Ele "he's got muscles". Fark that was embarassing.

Michael L and Eva arrived. Eva looked a bit down, she said she was sick. I joked with Michael L that he was late and all tickets had been sold out, which Tracy somehow believed and thought so I had bought the tickets for them.

After getting the tickets we all walked past the ticket check point, and Ele and Tracy had some trouble because Ele forgot where she had put her ticket, and it turned out to be in her back pocket. And then they were about to walk into the wrong cinema because they thought that both doors lead into the same room.

When the staff finished cleaning the one we were supposed to go in, we went in. Ele said "I want to sit next to my popcorn". I was holding the popcorn and didn't know what to say so I just said "I want to sit next to the popcorn". Michael L and Eva headed upstairs. Halfway up the stairs, Ele stopped and said she wanted to sit in the lower section because the seats upstairs were too far away. I personally wanted to sit in the upper section, sitting in the lower section is very foreign to me.

I reached out and started to guide her elbow upstairs to persuade her before Michael L and Eva agreed to go downstairs. We sat at the backrow of the lower section, and from right to left it was Michael L, Eva, Ele, me and Tracy. I felt a bit awkward when I sat down because I wanted to sit next to Ele, yet I didn't want to separate Tracy and Ele. Oh well.

Ele ate a lot of popcorn in the beginning, but kinda stopped when the movie started. At one stage I looked at her and laughed a bit, and she looked back and smiled politely. At another stage, she reached over for popcorn and I playfully put it out of her reach.

Throughout the movie, I noticed Tracy kept checking her phone and doing stuff on it. Ele and I talked a bit during the movie. I don't usually initiate during a movie, but when that Clark boy showed up I had forgotten what Jolie's son looked like and asked Ele if that was him, and she nodded yes. Towards the end, when Jolie was being represented by the big named lawyer, Ele asked me if I would do something like that, and I said "yeah, I act for a [insert my client genre here] don't I?" and she smiled. And then when the lawyer was ferociously questioning in court, she asked if I did that and I laughed and said no.

At the end of the movie, we all sat there for a bit until the lights came on. Eva said the movie made her cry, lol. I must admit, it was a LOT better than I thought it'd be. It was so powerfully emotional. Putting Ele's quiet whimpers aside, even the lady in front of us groaned and protested when the gruesome scenes were played. I like how Angelina was able to put aside her beauty and hotness to make a movie like this. It totally isolates and emphasises her acting abilities, brilliant.

We walked out to the car park with Michael L and Eva where we split. We talked about the movie as we walked back to my car and got in. I asked if Tracy was going home or if she was returning to Ele's, and Tracy said she was going home. Maybe it was calculating of me, but I chose to drop Tracy off first, hehe.

After I dropped Tracy off, I was joked that I had an axe in the car and asked her if she was scared. She said she trusted me. I said that the reason I went to jail on Sunday was because I was serving a sentence. She asked what I had done, and I said that about five years ago, I picked up a girl who looked a lot like her, and she was never seen again.

Ele said Tracy would call her in ten minutes, and I said that she'd just get a "the phone number you have dialled is disconnected, please try again later" message, and then Ele joked that Tracy would just go back to sleep, lol.

We think we saw Malay walking home on the way, not sure. She told me that she had lunch with two of her friends and that they had both been fired. I told her I knew two people who had also lost their jobs - someone in IT and someone in law. She started laughing, and I asked her why it was so funny that people lost their jobs, and she said that she pictured it as Michael L and myself.

When I stopped in front of her place, she started to get out and said "I'll see you tomorrow, oh I mean, on the weekend, Friday". I picked up on her mistake and said "no no, I'll see you tomorrow".

But why the hell would I see her on Friday or the weekend?

The call!

I typed my last post while I was at the law library in the city. When I got up there I realised they had actually closed it down and moved it onto their main campus. Nevertheless, I found a power point and plugged my laptop in. I did some work after posting as well, and it was kinda creepy because the only thing you could hear was the elevator going up and down, and I feared people coming onto my level because it would've looked totally weird.

It kinda reminded me of the time I went to the witness' shop. I've been meaning to blog about this but I keep forgetting. A few weeks ago, at night, I drove to the shop of our main witness. I just wanted to get a good look at the place. It was dark, and I tried to drive into the drive way. I got in there and was confronted by a locked gate.

It was a tight lane, so I had to do a three point turn to get out. I turned into another driveway adjacent to the lane I was in, and in the process heard a loud 'crack'.

Uh oh.

Now you've done it. Brand spanking new car and you've managed to fuck it up already.

I got out of the car and checked the front right corner of my car. It was dark, but I couldn't see any damage. I did, however, see that I had broken someone's little garden bed.

You better get the hell out of there man.

So I drove out and parked somewhere nearby to get a better look at my car. No damage. Wow. Lucky.

I just wondered - it would've been hilarious if I was being followed by the spooks, because I'm sure they'd be laughing their heads off, lol.

Anyway, immediately after I pakced up my stuff, I went downstairs and called Ele as I walked to the bus stop.

Why do I always go back on my word?

No answer. Hmm. Not that I was expecting her to answer, given her history of not answering her phone. I didn't even let it ring for that long, I think my preference was to just log a missed call so I can at least say I tried if she asked me why I went to watch the movie without her.

When I got to the bus stop, I checked my phone.

One miss call.

From Ele.

I smiled to myself.

I stood at the bus stop wondering whether I should call her back. After a few moments, I decided to call her back. She picked up.

Her: Hello [insert name here]

She has THE cutest voice!!! But it also sounds like a child's voice, lol.

Me: Ele.

Her: How are you?

Me: Good, how are you?

Her: I'm good.

Me: Are you at home?

Her: Yeah.

Me: So are you still up for the movie tomorrow night?

Her: Yeah.

Me: I've organised it with Michael L, do you need me to pick you up?

Her: Is it at 6:30?

Me: No, it's 9:10 at [insert shopping centre here].

Her: Oh ok, in that case, I would need a lift.

Me: You're not going to be late again are you?

[She laughs]

Her: No, no.

Me: If you're late, you have to buy me popcorn, ok?

[More laughs]

Her: Ok.

We went on to talk about picking Tracy up, apparently Tracy was there with her and they agreed to be picked up from Ele's place.

I don't know, I just don't get the feeling that Ele ususally talks like that. She sounded so...cute. Maybe she was nervous?

I don't really want someone to be nervous around me, because I don't see myself as anything special, so I'd hate for others to think that I was. I'd only disappoint them in time.

But, let's not end on a sad note. Let's look forward to tomorrow!!!

Horrible dream

Man, I had such a horrible dream last night. It was so bad it woke me up at 3am.

In the dream I was with the guys from high school and some of the girls were there too, including Ele, and we were just walking as a group through a desserted shopping centre at night. All of a sudden Ele gets Bob to sit down on a bench, and then she gets down on her knees in front of him. She starts pleading and begging for him to take her back, and says that she is no longer with Marcus, her boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend).

She was creating such a scene, and I felt so disgusted, I walked off angrily. I knew that if I did so I'd be making more of a scene out of it, and that everyone would then know that I had a thing for Ele. But I didn't care. I just couldn't bare to watch anymore, I had to get out of there.

I ended up at The Rocks, near the basketball courts but at the bottom of the hill. I stopped there and took out my phone. I had like five missed calls and two messages. I listened to a voice message, which was Bob telling me to come back, because he wasn't interested in Ele at all. Although I didn't check the others, I knew they were in a similar vein from the others.

Even now, when I think of that dream, I feel disgusted. I know it's not real, but it's just hard not to feel that way. Some people reckon dreams can be a prediction of the future. I sometimes like to think of it as a manifestation of my insecurities.

Work today was a little hectic. I had to fix up a lot of the photocopying because GS wanted parts of the document blanked out, the client wanted me to look for stuff on his discs, the secret organisation wanted me to look for a document which they gave us and which they now want back, and then the other side served all this other stuff on us as well, far out.

DC commented on my haircut, even though he saw me yesterday with it. He said something like it was the best haircut in the trial. When Twish came into court, she asked me if I got a haircut, I said yes (what else can I say??), and then she said "you look smart". I thought to myself "so are you saying that before my haircut I didn't look smart?"

I ended up catching the train with Kate, even though I tried to avoid it. I looked ahead to make sure she wasn't there as I kept walking, but it was too late when I spotted her. I just felt like being by myself.

Ele still hasn't messaged me back yet. Maybe she's out of credit, or maybe she changed her mind and couldn't come up with an excuse. Who knows.

I've organised it with Michael L already, so I guess in worst case scenario it'll just be me, him and Eva.

I'm pondering between whether I should just proceed without further asking her as if to teach her a lesson, or call her to make sure what's happening. If I do the former, it might seem a bit slack cause you both wanted to see the movie and now it's kinda like you watching it without her. If I do the latter, at least I've tried.

I don't know.

Who to take to Bob's dinner?

I went to the courts at 8am today and tried to focus on running. Although my right hand didn't bother me at all on Thursday night, it was hurting now. Last night I was sitting on the lounge room floor and when I used my hand to support myself to get up I felt like I strained it badly.

With every flick of the ball, every free throw I took, my right hand ached, reminding me that all was not ok. Sometimes I feel that I endure so much covertly, that I don't get enough credit. It's almost the same as being framed for something you didn't do. I'm not talking about just this, but I've had other injuries in the past which ahs affected my game and which I have never told anyone about. When I have a bad game, the finger gets pointed at me, whereas I feel like someone should at least be saying "well at least he didn't sit out, and at least he's not whinging about his injuries".

There seems to be so much to me, so much inside of me, that people don't know about. If only they knew. I remember when watching the 2001 NBA Finals, they had this small bit on how banged up the Sixers were, and they showed Mutombo immersing himself into a whole tub of freezing cold water and ice. When you look at him on the court, you think it's so great to be him and all that, but you don't know what he goes through behind the scenes. And so it is with me I feel.

Anyway, I did suicide sprints, court length sprints and then fast break sprints, and practiced my free throws in between each before going home.

I took the car to get a hair cut. I was feeling pretty good about myself for some reason, and I decided to send Ele a message.

Me @ 9:49 - Ele, would you like to see a movie on Tuesday?

As I walked out of the barber after my hair cut, I received a message back.

Her @ 10:23 - which one r u talking abt?

Call me overly sensitive, but I didn't get as much of a positive vibe as I had expected. If you recall the first time I asked her out for a movie, she said yes straight away, without even asking what it would be or who was going. I wonder what had changed, especially after our MSN conversation.

Me @ 10:26 - Changeling

By now I was in the supermarket doing some shopping so I can pack my lunches for the upcoming week.

Her @ 10:31 - sure...:-) tracy is back, wanna call her out as well?

Well it's not like I can say no, and I don't mind Tracy at all. All along I had intended this to be a group thing, I wonder if she thought otherwise.

Since I got the yes, I decided to get out of there and come back with details later.

Me @ 10:32 - Ok, I'll msg you later, I have to go to jail now

Her @ 10:33 - ??? ... okay, hv fun

I finished my shopping, went home, made myself some late breakfast and then got changed. DC picked me up for our jail conference, and we met GS there who was already inside with the client. My client had really lost his front teeth, he looked funny. It's amazing how much of a hobo someone can look without their front teeth, lol.

DC drove me back home, and I checked the movie session times. Since it's kinda a long movie, I wondered if she'd want the late session. Should I ask and come off as indecisive, or should I be more assertive and risk having her get to work late the next day? I went with the former.

Me @ 15:45 - Hey, would you prefer 630 session in the city or 910 session at [shopping centre near us]?

After that, I met up with G, Shuing and Bob for tennis. I paired up with Bob again. We were down 4-0 in the first set before clawing back to lose 7-5, and then lost the second set like 6-1. During half time and at the end, I checked my phone and was disappointed to see no new message had been received.

We went to dinner afterwards, even though I really didn't feel like it because I wans't hungry and I wanted to save some money, but I went anyway just so I wouldn't miss out on anything.

During the whole dinner I had my phone on the table, waiting for a message to arrive. It never came.

Towards the end of the dinner we talked about what we'd do for Bob's birthday this Saturday. We decided on a simple dinner on Friday night. Probably due to the mood I was in as a result of not having received a message, I decided to invite Claire to the dinner.

I told them I was going to bring someone, but didn't say who. Bob guessed it was Claire, since our communication on facebook has thus far been public. Shuing said he knew who it was but didn't say.

I suppose I can still change my mind and invite Ele. But if I don't receive a message back from her tomorrow morning, then I'll just invite Claire. I might not be the best person after saying this, but feeling that I have Claire as my back up makes me feel a little better. It's like putting out a $50 bet at the casino when you've already won $800. Win or lose, you can walk away a winner.

So if Ele doesn't respond or doesn't even really want to go to the movies, then fuck it, and move on.

I'm on the transcript!!!

Ok, look, my name has appeared on the transcript once when the judge was introducing us to the jury, but I never thought I'd get to actually say anything onto the transcript during this trial, but I got my chance on Friday.

It was one of the co-ey's matters listed, so a lot of people didn't bother turning up, including DC and GS. While I was at the train station, my client called me, sounding a little agitated, saying that he has had two teeth fallen out and he was in extreme pain. He wanted a dentist and he wanted it noted on the record.

I called GS but there was no answer, and so I texted him asking if I should mention it. I knew if he didn't reply the answer was probably a yes anyway, but I just wanted to let him know. He messaged me back saying I should.

For the rest of the train trip I was mentally planning what to say. Not that I didn't know, but I just didn't want to say anything stupid or inappropriate. I mean, I haven't really stood up in court and spoken for over half a year now, so one can hopefully understand if I was a little nervous. I got to the office at about 9:30 and was still mentally pre-occupied with what was going to happen.

I went upstairs to court and sat in the middle of our bar area. For the first time ever, I felt like I was in the driver's seat of this case, and it was then that it hit me what a big responsibility and a hard job GS had. I don't think I could ever do what he's doing.

I watched as people came into the courtroom one by one, two by two and sometimes three by three. I was really only looking for some specific people, like the co-ey's baristas, the Crown and the associate so I could let them know I was going to mention something. Each additional person to that made me even more nervous.

The co-ey's baristas came in first, and I went up to them and asked if it was ok for me to mention my thing first, and they said yes. A little while later the Crown walked in and as he was about to pass me I asked him about it, and he said "of course it's ok" in a very friendly tone.

I waited for the associate to come out, but it took ages and so I just told the cofficer who rang and told the associate.

Ok, job done so far.

I sat there quietly, still planning what I was going to say.

He 'advised' me, or he 'informed' me? Should I say 'dental condition', or would it sound like 'mental condition'? What if my voice comes out really soft? I need to remember to keep my voice up so the judge doesn't ask me to speak up which will make me even more nervous.

Courtney came in and we smiled at eachother.

Great, I'm going to have a hot blonde see me humiliate myself.

Then the LA girls came in.

Yep, keep them coming.

And then the Crown's paras came in, including the one I find strangely attractive.

Why don't we all come to watch me humiliate myself.

Sometimes I would calm myself down by getting into the "don't give a shit" mood, but that would quickly give way to the reality of sitting at the backrow bar table in a large courtroom with the judge and everyone else watching.

The three knocks that signal the entrance of the judge have never sounded more frightening and isolating. Everyone stood up, and after the bowing, I remained standing. The Crown stood up as well. He was in the first row so he obviously couldn't see me standing up, and had probably forgotten about my thing.

I sat back down.

Fine, I'll do it at the end then.

Then the associate turned to the judge and said something, and the judge said "I think Mr [insert last name here] has something".

The Crown sat down, suddenly remembering my request.

I stood up, placed my right arm on the lectern and said the following (as it appears on the transcript):

I received a call from my client today, advising me that he has a severe dental condition. I contacted Mr [guy who looks after our clients], who advised me that a nurse has been dispatched for some immediate pain relief, but it is unlikely that a dentist would be available today or over the weekend.

I just wanted to note that on the record.

The judge nodded and I sat down.

Bravo.

I couldn't believe that I didn't stuff up. Far out.

I said something later on as well, when the judge asked the other barista and myself not to disclose something to our clients. The judge was talking to him first, and then he said to me "you understand the position Mr Nguyen?"

Ummmm...my name ain't Nguyen.

"I understand the position" I said, as I half got up from my seat because I had been too entrenched in my position. It's a bad habit I picked up from the L courts.

So for that part of the transcript, my name is Nguyen, and I got an email from Juliana and a message from DC making fun of it.

DC also sent me a message saying something like "arsehole, now you've said more than me on the record", lol. I thought it was true at first, but if you include the things that happened before the trial started, he's got more because GS allowed him to do an application once.

Court finished at around lunchtime, and I went to the shopping centre to get some lunch. I ended up staying in the office till the end of the day doing work, even though I had planned to leave early.

Shuing called me and asked if I could meet up straight away instead of going home, as he'd have more than an hour of nothing to do. So I caught the train out to the city and met up with him. We went to a foodcourt where I got a fruit drink and we sat down and talked. He talked about his work and how he had a bit of an argument with his boss about him coming to work late.

We went from there to another shopping centre close by to meet up with Michelle who had just finished her gym session. We sat around and talked for a while before Bob and G arrived. As we walked to the restaurant part of the city, our target restaurant changed numerous times before finally deciding on Michelle's suggestion for a restaurant that I remember going to with J, Fat Pat and Dunnycan once.

We seemed to walk in two to three mini-groups and I was walking with Shuing, so I took the opportunity to talk a bit about the Ele situation. Just as we were about to cross the road to the restaurant, I told him about the MSN conversation bit where I said she looked like a panda and she didn't really react to it as a joke. Shuing said "you don't neg Asian girls man", and continued on to say that all that stuff in The Game, doesn't apply to Asian girls.

That struck me as very interesting. I was pretty sure that the 'challenge' concept applied universally; perhaps teasing girls is a different concept? I asked him where was the fun if there was no teasing, and he said with Asian girls, you just have to be nice to them. It feels like "true love". I stopped there before it got too mushy mushy, but the point was taken. Maybe what he was saying was true?

During dinner I think everyone treated Michelle like a guy as Shuing and Bob talked about cosmetic surgery and how they preferred women with bigger breasts. I said I hated people who underwent cosmetic surgery for vanity reasons, but they didn't seem to understand.

After dinner we decided to watch The International, but while we were waiting for that we went to the arcades and had our usual attempts at the skill testers. I got a beagle looking like dog for Michelle, while the others came up empty.

The movie was pretty shit. I don't know why, but Bob seems to have pretty shitty movie tastes. I sat in between Shuing and G, although it felt more like I was there with just Shuing because there was a huge gap between G's seat and mine. Shuing was his usual self, talking to me occasionally during the movie which I found slightly annoying.

He seemed to like it at the start but by the end of the movie he was saying how it was the shittest movie ever, lol.

We finished at around midnight. I wanted ice cream but no one else did

Thursday comp: 2-11-1

Fat Pat had sent me a message saying he wasn't playing, I asked him why and if Mike was going to play (because Fat Pat usually drives him). He just replied that Mike was coming. I thought it was a bit strange, and when I called Mike he said Fat Pat didn't feel like coming because we were losing all the time.

That really disappointed me. I mean, I know all this losing isn't great, but I couldn't believe he was giving up. Not just that, I also don't have much preference for people who tend to give up. And besides, when we entered this Thursday comp we all said it'd be like practice for our Sunday comp, so I've never taken this one more seriously than our Sunday comp.

What added to my frustrations were Abi's friends. I sent them a message on facebook, and I texted them about the game time and doing duty, and I got no reply. I had to call them hours before the game to find out that they weren't coming because they were going to a wedding. That's really bad form man.

We played the Slammers, it was just me, Mike, Marco and Fab at first. Having not only four guys, but four very un-offensive guys, meant we went down like 17-2 in the first 10 minutes. At one stage I looked at ourselves on the court and thought that if Fat Pat wanted to abandon us like this then it'd be pretty slack of him.

We kept getting run out before Sheq arrived. I was surprised to see him as I thought he was injured and he'd probably be at the wedding. I didn't even see him check into the game. I first saw him after the other team scored and he inbounded the ball. We looked at eachother and I said "we have a special guest".

That motivated me a bit more, but only scored two points in the first half off an interception and bolting down the to the other end of the court for a lefty lay-up. We went on a little run at the end of the first half and the beginning of the first half, but their lead was too much.

I kept having that Jordan brand commercial 'Lead the Charge' ad running through my head and how Chris Paul says "be aggressive!" and so I had more of an offensive mind in the second half. I still took a number of shots in the first half, but they were just mainly catch and shoot shots.

When Marco had the ball up top, I ran to my favourite position where I start my fade away in practice, and received the ball. I was hoping the defender would be closer to me so I could back him in and do the turn around fade away, but surprisingly he left me open. I did a pivot to face up to the basket and shot the ball - swish.

Later on I got the ball on the left side of the court, faked a three, one dribble towards the baseline and took the shot - swish. A few plays later, I did the exact same thing but this time ended up slightly behind the backboard - swish.

As I ran back on defense, I thought "great, way too late to start getting hot now".

Mike got angry because he thought he was getting hacked and no fouls were being called. I was proud that he started stepping up, and felt like punching him to psych him up more, but didn't want him to get so psyched up that he'd yell more at the refs and get a tech.

Even though we got demolished, I enjoyed playing as a small group because I felt it brought us closer. Sometimes it's tough times like these that bond people together.

After the game, I talked to Fab and one of Sheq's friends for a while, and then had a short chat with Sheq before they went home. As I drove home, I thought that maybe Janet had some say into whether Fat Pat should've played. I've known him for too long to think that he'd abandon us like that.

The first MSN conversation with Ele

Just as I was about to finish typing my last entry, Ele came online. I chose not to initiate anything, and instead walked away to do something else. When I came back, I found she had sent me two messages. The following exchanges took place:

10:45:49 PM Her hows ur interview ?
10:45:54 PM Her well prepared ?

Hmmm...don't give a plain, straight forward and boring answer.

10:53:55 PM Me I walked in and asked for $500,000 p.a.
10:54:27 PM Her baby ~~ u dream high~~

Baby? What the?

10:54:33 PM Her good on ya ~!!
10:54:46 PM Me they told me to leave immediately
10:54:58 PM Me :(
10:55:11 PM Her haa...
10:55:31 PM Her if they changes their mind, may i ask a favor:
10:55:41 PM Her can u take me with u :)?

Errr...wtf? Does she mean she wants to work in the same entity, is she digging for gold, or is this some not so subtle way of saying she likes me?

10:56:16 PM Me gee I don't know...they kinda prefer people who.........are on time :)
10:57:00 PM Her :(
10:57:08 PM Her i AM
10:57:19 PM Me for night shift :)
10:57:36 PM Her i arrived ard 8:15 ~~!! AM TODAY
10:57:44 PM Her im SO pround of myself
10:57:54 PM Me did your manager say anything?
10:59:01 PM Her yup ~~~ i went in said hello at 8:15, then make up in the ladies , when he saw me second time... he goes
10:59:30 PM Her its almost 8:30am we must start to do clearing now
10:59:58 PM Her clearing ---> kinda settlement system
11:00:08 PM Me well done
11:00:15 PM Me but did you leave work at 4:15?
11:00:24 PM Her na ...
11:00:32 PM Her "on time "
11:00:38 PM Her 6:01pm
11:01:28 PM Me good job, it's very hard for people to change their habits
11:01:31 PM Me especially bad habits
11:01:41 PM Me did you end up watching CHangeling last night?
11:02:08 PM Her no ... i came home with linda

Well that's sorta good. At least she didn't go to watch it without you. But again, fucking Linda!

11:02:21 PM Her she had problem with flatmates
11:02:37 PM Her we chat at my place
11:02:41 PM Her instead
11:02:56 PM Me ah ok
11:03:11 PM Me any decision as to CFA?
11:03:18 PM Her no...
11:03:33 PM Her im not doing that till end of this year
11:03:52 PM Her it will b too streching
11:03:58 PM Her straching
11:04:07 PM Her strach
11:04:44 PM Me strach
11:04:55 PM Me I think that is a good decision
11:05:23 PM Me because [Shuing] and his friend who is also in finance said that it's not a good time to do something like CFA given the current market conditions
11:06:48 PM Her so and im not familar with most of carton characters
11:06:56 PM Her and i am not very interested in any of them
11:07:11 PM Her espically that stupid PANDA ~~~

At this stage it might be noteworthy to say that I have as my avatar a dancing Po the Panda.

11:07:28 PM Her ...
11:07:45 PM Her OH
11:07:58 PM Her i think u didnt get my joke ...
11:08:07 PM Her its not funny isnt it ?

Lol, no. I didn't get that at all.

11:08:11 PM Her :(
11:08:18 PM Me lol
11:08:22 PM Me it is
11:08:28 PM Me I'm just laughing at you now
11:08:37 PM Her ....
11:08:47 PM Her :'( lier
11:08:55 PM Her laier
11:09:06 PM Her i hv spelling problem
11:09:09 PM Me I like my panda
11:09:12 PM Her lier
11:09:15 PM Me I think it looks like you
11:09:34 PM Her im slimmer ....
11:09:39 PM Me errrr...
11:09:41 PM Me *cough*
11:09:50 PM Her what the...

Ok, maybe not a good idea to go there.

11:09:55 PM Me about the same la
11:10:52 PM Me ok ok I'm joking!
11:11:21 PM Her actually...
11:11:28 PM Her i was going to tell u
11:12:11 PM Her when u r listening to nice and soft music
11:12:24 PM Her like norah jones
11:12:56 PM Her u dont want to b disturbed by some stupid action noise, do u?
11:13:10 PM Her yup,.. same here...
11:13:20 PM Me does my panda make noises?

I didn't know my avatar made noises...

11:13:52 PM Her shu.... finally...
11:14:03 PM Her SMART KID!!!
11:14:37 PM Me fine...
11:14:50 PM Her FINE!!!
11:14:52 PM Her :)
11:15:02 PM Me I've changed to another panda now

I changed my avatar to a photo of me trying on a hat at Myer.

11:15:28 PM Me this one is much better looking
11:15:58 PM Her yup ...
11:16:09 PM Her but i just find out ...
11:16:14 PM Her im sry ....
11:16:22 PM Her seems not from you
11:16:44 PM Me hmmm
11:16:49 PM Me so I can change back to my panda?
11:17:30 PM Her i just cant find the wired sorce
11:17:37 PM Her source
11:17:44 PM Her ...
11:18:02 PM Me there's a ghost in your machine
11:18:18 PM Me I'm going to sleep now
11:18:33 PM Me are you going to bed soon?
11:18:56 PM Her yup
11:18:58 PM Her soon
11:19:01 PM Her :)
11:19:04 PM Her i found it
11:19:11 PM Me what was it?
11:19:27 PM Her i opened an webpage with background music
11:19:40 PM Her im SORRY... hope you dont mind
11:19:42 PM Her ...
11:19:42 PM Me gee...
11:19:46 PM Me thanks for blaming me
11:19:47 PM Her :$
11:20:05 PM Me first I get rejected on valentine's day, and now I get blamed for this

Hehe, way to chuck it in there!

11:20:09 PM Her FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART , I WANT TO SAY:
11:20:20 PM Her HAVE A REALLY NICE DREAM, AND
11:20:31 PM Her FORGET AND FORGIVE ~~@@@!!!
11:20:58 PM Me goodbye!
11:20:58 PM Her HEHE
11:21:17 PM Her 88

She inserted some picture of a giggling puppy towards the end, I wonder if that was in relations to my Valentine's Day comment.

The interview!

Man, so much stuff to do after work yesterday. AFter I got home I had to drive my mom to pick up some owl statue that some 'fortune teller' has put a 'spell' on. I hate it when my mom sees fortune tellers, because 1) they're generally a waste of money; 2) she genuinely believes whatever they say. I mean, like, I might go see one out of curiousity, but I'd pretty much disregard anything they said, good or bad. After my mom says which way we should have our furniture facing and blah blah blah, I always ask "if he told you to jump off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge?"

Anyway, I dropped my mom off and took a stroll around the suburb. It was where my dad used to work. I bought these crackers that mom mom used to buy for me when I was in like primary school and we called them Japanese crackers, although the ones I bought seem to be a different flavour. So I was walking and holding that big packet of crackers as I walked through the streets, when I spotted a girl eating KFC and decided to go get some for myself.

By the time I got back to the car they had just returned to the car. I spoke briefly with the dude, didn't like the fact that he knew I was a lawyer. Lucky we came to pick it up instead of him having to come over, cause then I would've had to drive him back. I ain't spending 45 minutes in the car with some dude who can't speak English.

Back at home, whilst waiting for dinner I spent the time preparing for my job interview. After a quick dinner I went to the gym and did some light exercises, and then went to the casino.

For some reason I had instilled in myself a half expectation that Ele would message me and wish me luck for the interview the next day. She didn't.

Today, I did some more light preparation for the interview, just going over their guidelines and that. Kylie had her interview first, and she gave me a call immediately afterwards but I couldn't answer it as I was in court.

While I was getting coffee with DC during morning tea, I listened to the voice message she left and it was quite detailed, giving me an idea about what the interview would be like. How nice of her. On returning from coffee, we bumped into Shadi and I introduced him to DC.

In the time between morning tea and lunch, DC wrote out a list of things I should say in the interview whilst we were in court, lol, he's funny. It was good to have that kind of support.

I left court for the interview at about 12:45pm and just crossed the road and went to their building. When I was in their lobby, I felt a little bit odd, and tried to put my finger on it.

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.

Wait a minute, you're empty handed. You came empty handed! Shouldn't you bring something?

But what? They didn't tell me to bring anything!

Well you could've at least asked.

It was too late anyway, so I just went up in the elevator. I didn't even know what floor it was, I just guessed and got it right.

I buzzed the intercom and the door clicked. I told the receptionist I was there for the 1pm appointment and she just told me to take a seat. Not long after, a guy called Andrew came out and introduced himself to me and lead me into an office where there were already two people - Jim and Clare who introduced themselves to me.

They asked me to take a seat, which I did. Kylie was right, it was pretty informal. They asked me a bit about my current case, which inevtiably lead to some information as to when I would be able to start. They told me that the contract for this position ends in June, so that was the end of the story for me.

They asked me what I understood their role was, and I just rehashed whatever was in their guideline, feeling like an idiot in the process because I'm sure the other six people before me would've done the exact same thing. What am I supposed to say?

"I'll do ANYTHING to secure a conviction. I'll rat on my former clients if I have to."

They asked me what I wanted to do in five years, and I said I wanted to be a barista. To be honest, I don't think I do. But that's not to say that in five years time I won't be a barista, because it's a possiblity. It's just that right now, at this very moment, I don't see myself being a barista. But in five years time, who knows?

They asked me about ym experience, and they seemed pretty satisfied with that, since back at Nom's firm I had done basically everything, and it was at that moment that I was glad I had put up with it for 2+ years.

They said that someone might be going on maternity leave at the end of April or May, so they'd put me on a waiting list and if something came up they'd get back to me. They asked me to fax through a copy of my passport or birth certificate. I was left with the impression that they were very interested in me, and that if it weren't for the timing issue I may have gotten the job. Or maybe they were just being friendly.

I bumped into DC on the way back to court, and we had a short talk about it. I forgot to say one of the things he told me to say, lol. In fact, I forgot to say a lot of things. I think I was nervous, I was speaking way too fast.

GS also asked me about it when he came back from lunch. He joked that he hoped I didn't do "too well" because he didn't want me to leave.

Kylie gave me a call and we had a short chat about it towards the end of lunch.

After work, I met up with Kylie and Shadi and we had a talk about it over a meal at that German place. I swear one of those waitresses was giving me the eye. Everytime she was at our table, just before leaving she'd always look at me last and smile. She's pretty damn hot too.

I didn't have much cash in my wallet so I just had a soup, even though I felt like something huge, like that chicken schnitzel Twish had a while back.

Kylie seemed a bit down because Shadi and I were asked to fax our passport/birth certificate in, and she wasn't asked. I tried to comfort her by saying that maybe she didn't need to since she was already working at LA, hence she's assumed to have passed the criminal record check.

Shadi came away with the impression that they had like four positions going, whereas Kylie and I thought there was only one. I think objectively, I would have had the best chance since I had the most experience, but I wonder who would get picked since I'm not available asap.

Shadi, as always, seemed to cause himself a bit of trouble. The hot waitress came around and asked us if we were finished with our plates. She asked if we wanted any more drinks, and Shadi said something like "no, we're not rich lawyers yet" and she asked "do you want the 300mL or the 500mL?". Shadi mumbled something, and both Kylie and I were like "dude, I think she thinks you ordered a drink". Later, another waitress came over with a beer and Shadi said he didn't order it, and the hot waitress came over and said he did, and Shadi just rudely said he didn't, lol.

It was good to catch up with them, I just didn't like their suggestion that Yoj should be invited next time. I really don't feel like seeing Yoj.

After that I caught the train home, and drove out to the casino, intending to go to the gym, but stayed too long there and so missed out.

That expectation that I had about Ele wishing me luck turned into a full expectation tonight that she'd send me a message asking me how I went with the interview.

She didn't.

Angry right now

For some reason I feel somewhat angry right now. I just came back from the gym after dinner, just did sit ups and some chin ups, no weights. I thought about the recent exchange and I kept thinking to myself:

Wait a minute. You're one of the lawyers in Australia's biggest cases. You're the captain of your basketball team, you just played like Ron Artest a night ago. You've endured so much pain and agony in the gym and on the basketball court. So why are you acting like a pussy?

She's not even Darth Vader. She's NOT EVEN CLOSE! She's not athletic, her English isn't as good as you'd like it to be. You wouldn't have given her the time of day a few years ago.

So with that, I started thinking of possible responses I could/would make.

1. I asked you out, not Linda.

2. Geez, I don't know, I might have some chinese card game to go to.

3. Ignore her.

Still confused...

Despite trying to get up early for work, I ended up arriving at the office around 8:45-ish. And despite my own perceived lateness, I was still the first one there...

We're now down to 14 jurors, as the injured one asked to be discharged due to her injuries. For a while I couldn't for the life of me remember what she looked like. Imagine that, sitting there and seeing a group of people for months, and when one disappears you don't know which one!

I told GS today about my job interview and assured him that I wouldn't leave during the trial. He joked that I couldn't, that he'd chain me to the desk. Sometimes the insecure side of me thinks that he might be thinking he got the wrong person for the job and now regrets it. So it's good to be re-assured that you're doing alright. It's good to feel wanted =)

I left work at about 4:45pm today, caught the train home and I just did some of the reading for my interview on Wednesday. I wonder how that'll go. In a perfect world, they'll like me and agree to take me on right after my trial finishes, I'll perform satisfactorily on the three month contract, and they'll extend it until they like me so much that they offer me a permanent position.

But, as we all know, this world isn't perfect.

I've been bothered throughout the day with thoughts about Ele. Sometimes I would lose focus during court and then mentally slap myself back into it. At times I even felt slightly angry.

Devil Toey: You offered her a lift from the airport, you gave her a cupcake, you drove her to and from the movies, and she gives a card game precedence over you?

Yeah, you right.

Angel Toey: Well look, be reasonable, you asked her on the night with a few hours notice. She obviously had plans. She suggested movies first, and she said she wanted to see you more often.

Hmmm...you right too.

Devil Toey: Hey, if she likes you, she'll drop everything just to be with you.

Angel Toey: Hardly. Would you have done that?

And so that got me thinking. I tried to put myself in her shoes. Let's say, for example, on Sunday night, just before I meet up with the guys for drinks, she texts me and asks me to see a movie, right there and then. Would you really have gone? You know you'd get crap from Bob and probably G. ALso, could you even imagine yourself saying something like "I hope your job is in the city, so we can catch up more often". Hell no.

Logically, I think I should pursue Claire. I mean, she seems to like you more, and you'd be a fool to go for someone who doesn't like you over someone who likes you. Claire also seems a little more innocent, and a little more...domestic. Whereas Ele always seems to be out, and she's got a lot of guy friends. Like a convicted criminal giving evidence, you already have proof as to her credibility - she screwed Bob over. And she was ever so slightly involved with Bob, so if you choose Claire, none of that will complicate things.

Yet my emotions are still on the Ele side. If she messaged or called me right now, I'd fall right back for her. I think I just need more time. It's like me emotions are a sticky substance stuck to the land of Ele, and my logic is this big hand trying to rip it from the surface and pull it free.

I think I shouldn't do anything for a week or two just to see how everything pans out.

In other news, during yesterday's game, I re-aggravated my right hand. I caught a really hard pass from Dan which made me take myself off towards the end of the first half. It's been hurting for a while now, from that time I nearly intercepted the touchdown pass from the other team.

Again, this is one of those 'minor' injuries that I don't tell people about. So yes, I'm playing in pain, but is it enough to make me whinge about it? No.

Sunday comp: 1-0

Hello, my name is Ron Artest!

Woke up at like 4am today because I had to drive my dad to the airport, since he's going to work in Adelaide from now on. I don't know why, but I don't have a good feeling about this. I don't like the look of Adelaide. It looks like a redneck town.

I went back home and got some sleep before waking up to go to the casino, and then the gym. It was my first time back since my shoulder injury, so I took it lightly and didn't do too much. After that I drove to Bondy to make a credit card payment, got some quick KFC to eat and then rushed home to be in time for DC to pick me up for the jail visit. The plan was for me to drive, but he messaged me at the last minute saying he was going to pick me up.

I told him about my job interview, and he seemed pretty confident I'd get it. He said "oh yeah, they'd snap you up in a sec". I know he's just being nice, but I can't help but feel much better after that. He said if they asked I should just tell them the case will be finished in June.

The conference was kinda boring. I just had to type up their questions and answers and they were talking really quick. I started yawning at the beginning, which is never a good sign. Luckily about two hours later, the officers came and told us they were closing soon.

DC gave me a ride back home and I quickly got changed for A to pick me up for bball. We had sooooo much to talk about on the drive there. He told me how much he enjoys his work, and how he and his fiancee are moving into the apartments that Bob is living in now. While I was listening to him, I realised that that was the life I wanted. I realised that I needed to seriously look for a partner now if I wanted any chance of a life like that.

I was pretty excited about the new season, the team and our first game. I introduced A to Daniel and Joe. While we were watching the game before ours, Daniel was next to me talking, and I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. To make conversation, I told him that I always saw one of the guys who were playing in the city totally smashed on Friday nights, and he asked me what I did on Friday nights and I was a bit embarassed about hanging out with Bob and that, so I just said we usually play poker or hang out at clubs.

We only had six today, because Lou was injured and Mike's friend won't be available for two weeks due to work. Two of the guys from the other team were from that really arrogant and cocky team last season, and during the game when we were leading I thought "yeah, you ain't so cocky now are you".

We took the lead early on and never gave it up, leading the first half by around six to 11 points, and then ended up winning 54-26. Daniel was his usual self, shooting threes two metres behind the line, driving into defenders and drawing fouls.

Fat Pat was also his usual self, doing the same stuff he always does. He had a really pretty 180 alley-oop at the end of the game off a pass from Daniel.

I was really impressed with Joe, he was grabbing rebounds like a monster. Wow, I never really expected that from him. And he's only 18!

A also grabbed some boards, he seemed his usual self, but after the game he admitted that his fitness level was nowhere like it used to be, as this was his first game in over a year.

Mike played decently, hitting his trade mark baseline jump shots. I remember at one point, I had the option of passing it to Daniel or Mike, and I saw Mike standing in his favourite position, and I've learnt to trust his shot, so I passed it to him and he hit it.

As for me, I scored five points from two field goals and a free throw. Compared to my recent offensive output, that's pretty massive, but that's not the reason why I'm so happy after the game. I was, seriously, Ron Artest. Because of Daniel, I don't feel the need to carry any offensive load, so I have the mindset and energy to focus on defense.

I was trying to come off as an angry defender, but then figured that you get more from the refs using sugar. I remember at one point, I knocked off a pass and saw the guy chasing it.

Ah fuck it, I'm not gonna get it.

Nah just go for it, you might get it.

Oh alright.

So I gave chase and ended up getting it and running for the lay-up. The guy was right behind me, so I slowed down, causing him to run into me, and drawing the foul.

And then perhaps my best defensive moment came when I was pressuring this other guy. He held the ball away from me but I managed to knock it away. I reached out for the steal and got my left hand on it before I felt him collapsing on and tripping over me. I think he kicked me a bit, but I stacked it on the floor.

The ref called a foul on me, then a foul on him, and it was our ball. Everyone came over and asked me if I was alright and congratulated me on the D. Wow, that was a great feeling.

Also, they had this dickhead number 21 guy who would drop or move forward his shoulder after a screen. At first I just thought it was a dirty little trick, but it became more rough and more emphasised. When one of their guys was taking the ball up, number 21 set a screen and I ran into it, and he shouldered me, causing my head to snap backwards, right in front of the ref and he called an offensive foul.

And then that same guy later on was on a fastbreak, and only A was on back on defense. A just stood there to draw the charge, and the guy ran smack into him, and then threw the ball at A!! I was like "hey!" but the ref quickly called a technical and got in the middle of everything before anything escalated.

What an asshole! How can you possible get pissed off when you're the one who's wrong?!

Man, it felt good winning. I haven't won for a long time. And not only that, it felt good to contribute to a win. I want to be THE defensive player of the season (even though there's no such award, but there should be).

A gave me a lift back, and then I met up with the boys for a drink and we headed off to Macca's cause Shuing had bought some chinese takeaway and I hadn't eaten yet. We talked about the stuff we normally talked about, although I tried to keep Ele to a minimum, only making "hmmm" noises whenever Bob brought her up. He just said it was very odd that she has never mentioned her boyfriend.

Well that's because they've broken up, I think.

I don't think he has a clue about me and, errr, her.

Speaking of Ele, at this stage I've decided this much:

- playing cards > time with me. So even though it's possible she might be interested in you, that level of interest ain't very high. Perhaps asking her out with a few hours notice might be unreasonable, but I'm actually a little offended that she feels cards is more important than me. Why would you go for a girl who treats you that way? Maybe I should go for Claire.

This good game today has given me my confidence back. Which made me think: what would Kobe Bryant do if he received a message like that? He'd tell the girl to fuck off.

Rejected on Valentine's Day

Went to the internet cafe in the morning to print and fax off a letter for tomorrow's jail visit. As I was waiting for the dude to send the fax, I turned to my left to see that female cop who is always sitting in the back in my case. We smiled at eachother and I said hello. I swear if she wasn't with her boyfriend I would've thought they were following me. I saw them later on again when I was at the bus stop waiting to go home, that was awkward.

I got home from the city at around 3pm, and before I even had a chance to change I received a call from Shuing. He sounded, as he said, a bit "circumspect". I had a feeling it was some form of gossip which he didn't feel comfortable telling me last night because of Michelle's, and perhaps the others', presence.

After some jittery laughs and chuckles, he finally got to the point. He said that at the birthday dinner with Claire on Thursday, she seemed to show some interest in me. Apparently she kept asking him whether I had a girlfriend or not, and she always seemed to ask Keen about me as well.

Straight away my mind went to the facebook messages I had sent her recently for the purposes of arousing some jealousy within Ele, and wondered if Claire took that as a sign of interest.

Shuing told me that he was just friends with her and asked if I was interested. I was being somewhat evasive and ended up telling him what he already knew: that I liked Ele. We had a bit of a talk about that, from the message she had sent, to the movies on Tuesday night, and to how Bob would feel if anything happened.

He asked me if I was doing anything about it and I kept saying that the only reason I hesitate is because I still presume that she has a boyfriend. I mean, that's the last known position, so it's a fair assumption isn't it?

The other thing was the whole 'leading Bob on and then finding another guy' thing, but Shuing said that she probably rejected him because he was so selfish, and went on to say that he could probably identify in each of us a reason for our lack of success with girls, yet he only went further to mention G, citing him as being stubborn.

He said if she was showing signs then I should go for it, and that usually if these things are left later rather than sooner, the chances of anything happening are diminished. Mentally, I agreed with him, but at the same time I told him I wasn't going to be like Bob and call or message her everyday, because that gets annoying.

He said I should've asked her what she was doing for Valentine's Day, although it was too late now. Maybe I should have. I also told him about Ele's concerns in relations to her CFA thing, and he said that it wasn't a good time to do it given the current market conditions.

After the phone call, I felt encouraged to do something about it due to the prompting and also knowing that I had a back-up, and it also gave me a reason to message her - I could pass on Shuing's advice about the CFA thing.

So then the following messages occurred:

Me @ 15:37 - Hey Ms [insert Ele's last name here], have you made up your mind about CFA yet?

Her @ 15:50 - not decided to go ahead yet, i still want to rest... i was late 4 work 80% of ta time this week, n my boss had a serious conversation with me :-p

Me @ 15:57 - Lol you're tardy, you should have 'late' as your middle name

Her @ 16:03 - .... he expect me work 9 hours a day which means no life for myself... then how do I go out 4 movies? oh linda wants 2 watch changling as well, lets go next week together

Fuck, always fucking Linda. Just can't fucking get rid of her.

Me @ 16:09 - I'm sure you'll be handsomely rewarded for your hard work =) I have a job interview on Wednesday so I don't think I can do movies next week, but I was going to ask you to see it tonight if you weren't busy

Her @ 16:12 - a group of friends wants to play chinese card game, so i cant see movie 2nite.i suggest u not go out 2day, its gonna b very packed everywhere.

At this stage, I had three thoughts:

1. Great, that's fucking great.

2. What, you don't want me to go out so I won't bump into you and your boyfriend on Valentine's Day?

3. Hmmm...on the other hand, she might genuinely care about your wellbeing, I do remember she once sent Bob a message about wearing an extra jumper because it was cold.

Her @ 16:13 - good luke 2 ur interview i hope its in ta city, then we can catch up more often...

Aight, kill it.

I thought about not replying at all after her 16:12 message, perhaps to show my dissastisfaction. But her last message seemed to oblige me to at least say thanks.

Me @ 16:17 - Thanks, have fun tonight

There! E-Q-U-I-V-O-C-A-L!

I sent that in a dismissive, unhappy sort of tone, hence the absence of smiley faces, but I hope that for her, it remains uncertain as to my tone just to keep her guessing.

So that's it. That's the last move I'm going to make for now. I asked her and got an answer. I'm not going to be the one to initiate shit. I'll give her one week, if she doesn't initiate a message or a call then I'm moving on.

And on further thought, isn't this eerily similar to what happened with nurse lady? In both cases I asked for something, both said no, and then both followed up with something about wanting to see me around. What the fuck is up with that? This is fucked. I don't wanna play anymore.

1 Toad

No court today, but had a mention at Penrith, and since I was there I organised to meet Bush for lunch. I did my mention with ease, then remembered I had to fax off a letter which was so bloody hard.

First I had to find an internet cafe which I found in the shopping centre. I had to type up the letter, email it to myself, and then access it on the computer so I could print it. But it would only accept $1 or $2 coins, so I went to the post office to buy a highlighter and get some change. When I finally did that, I found out that the computer didn't have the software to open .docx files, so I had to get back onto my laptop (which is really slow because it's on Vista), convert the file to .doc and then send it to my email again. Only this time I couldn't print because there was a problem!

So then I went to an internet cafe thingy, and the printer was working, but when you click print, instead of charging you from the money you've already paid, you have to pay an extra $1! I didn't have a dollar coin, only had two fifty cents, so I had to ask the guy next to me to change it, which he kindly did. I then had to go to a newsagency to fax it, but at least that went relatively smoothly.

I went back to the courthouse and saw Bush at the entrance. She was in a trial and I suggested just sitting in on it, but she was headed back to her office to drop something off and asked me to walk with her, so I went with her, and we both had a laugh about how weird it looked for the defence to be holding an umbrella for the prosecution, lol.

I waited downstairs at her building while she dropped her things off, and when she came down, we were about to head off again before she said she forgot something which she printed out for me. She said it was something that might help with the interview.

Isn't she the greatest?

When we made our way back to the courthouse, I sat in her courtroom while her counsel did the closing. I was half listening and half working on a folder I had brought with me to work on. Man, one look at the accused told me he was a pedophile.

At lunch, we went to the shopping centre because Bush wanted to buy a gift for her husband for Valentine's Day. We went to Myer and she wanted to get him cologne, so she had someone spraying samples on little cards for her, and everytime she would pass it onto me to smell and asked me what I thought about it. When we narrowed it to two she asked me which one she should get, and I didn't really want to have any input because I didn't want it to be my present to him, I wanted her to give him whatever she thought he liked.

While we were standing there and waiting for the lady to wrap it up, she asked me for the nth time what I had been up to, and then she was finally more direct: she asked if there was any girl in my life. I said no, and then thought that maybe I should've told her about Ele to get some assistance.

We didn't have much time for lunch, so we just grabbed a sushi and it was my shout, although I'm to shout her a proper lunch next time. Hey, if I get this job I'd shout her lunch everyday if she wants. The only thing is I thought she said it started in July but she said it's an urgent position, so it's more like a 'now' thing, and I don't think I'll leave my job for this, even though it's so much better paying. Maybe it's stupid, but I can't leave my client in the middle of a case - especially to go work for the other side.

While we were sitting down eating, there was a silent moment because I was thinking about whether I should bring up Ele or not, and then I decided. I didn't specify a name or that I liked her, but I just asked what it meant when a girl would hold a guy's hand and then drop it and deny that it was her boyfriend when encountering a friend. She gave me a sly grin and then told me that maybe the girl just wanted to keep it as a secret thing, as she might not want anyone, and her parents in particular, to know.

I told her that if I was the guy I wouldn't be very happy, and she said that maybe it was part of their agreement. I accepted that as a logical explanation, and then after parting, I remembered that Ele had changed her facebook status to 'in a relationship', so that shoots down that theory.

I caught the train back to the city without a proper ticket because I couldn't be fucked paying for it. My weekly ticket covers from within a specific range, so as soon as my train got within my range I was safe. I basiaclly slept through the whole ride anyway, and probably would've just ignored any ticket inspectors. But I must admit, I get a small thrill from breaking the rules like that.

I caught the bus home from the city, and when I got home I gave Michael D a call to let him know about the mention. I was like "yeah it went smoothly" and then when I told him the date he made me realise that I had gotten the date that he said he wasn't available! Ah fuck, I felt like such an idiot. He was ok though, he said it didn't matter and that these things happen, but I felt soooo dumb!! How could I not have checked the piece of paper I wrote on yesterday when I was talking to him on the phone? Why did I go in there with a pre-determined date in my head, which was exactly the wrong date?

Faaaaark.

Anyway, I fell asleep again on my bed when I was supposed to meet up with the guys for dinner. I wasn't too late anyway, only about 20 minutes. When I got there I saw G, Bob and Michelle sitting at a table, and then we decided to go to that cheap Italian restaurant for some pizza and pasta.

The group conversation was going pretty well with lots of inetresting topics, like how Bob saw his boss naked in the change room to whether one should be cremated or buried after death. Then later I noticed Michelle went quiet, so I decided to pose a girl related issue to her, and asked whether girls preferred guys to call or text.

She said call. I asked if that was for some or all girls, and then she elaborated by saying that calling is more serious, and that text is just fooling around. It then dawned on me. Ele's texts were just flirts! I had stupidly interpreted them as an "I like you" signal, whereas Michelle had seemed to help me put them into context.

I mean, I'm not saying flirting is bad, it just helps me get the picture right, that's all. It probably makes more sense at the end of the day. She probably thought that we don't know eachother well enough to talk on the phone just yet, but she's somewhat interested, and hence the text messages. And maybe if you can flirt properly, texts can lead to phone calls.

Now, you need to think up a flirty and slightly funny initiating text. I've already decided that I won't do movies next Tuesday, since my interview is the next day I don't want too many distractions.

G spilled his coke on my napkin during dinner, and I could tell that Michelle was just thinking something along the lines of "if anyone was going to spill a drink it was going to be him" and so I started smiling, and she said I was funny, and G asked why she thought I was funny, and it was just one of those questions that was never answered.

After dinner we met up with Malay at the arcade machines, as Bob had set up this 'challenge' between us to see who could get the most toys. I don't think neither Malay or I took it as a competition, rather it was just some hype created by Bob.

I managed to get a small Toad on my first go which I gave to Michelle, but didn't win anything else for the rest of the night, and neither did Malay. We spent a considerable amount of time trying to get this Hello Kitty thing which Michelle wanted, but it was too hard because its head was too fucking big.

After that we were to go to Shuing's place for some Seinfeld, but Shuing called to ask us to get him some Macca's, so we went to Macca's, and while Bob and G lined up, Michelle and I ducked out to the ATM and then we went to buy a donut which we split.

G drove us to my place where I picked up my car as I wasn't going to stay too late, and Michelle came with me. I asked her to stay downstairs as I didn't want my parents thinking she was my girlfriend. Far out, could you imagine the questions? I've learnt my lessons from Emilee.

So I got the car and we drove to Shuing's place. When we got there G was playing the piano, and then Bob started playing it and I was pressing a few keys. While I was doing that, G said "sit down" and pulled the chair out which caused a lamp underneath to break.

Far out, I felt sorry for Shuing. He invites us over and then we break his stuff, lol. But afterwards, I realised that it probably wasn't a very good night to be G, hehe.

Anyway, we watched like three or four episodes of Seinfeld before I said I had to leave, which made the others leave as well. I drove Michelle back home, but she left her book and train ticket in Bob's bag so we drove to his place first before I drove her home. I must say, we had some interesting conversations about relationships.

Anyway, I hope I can come up with a creative text message in my sleep tonight.

Notes on Tuesday
- if you're still feeling any slight insecurity from the fact that Ele asked Bob if he wanted a drink, you can get solace from the fact that she didn't even ask if they wanted to come sit down in the same row as you guys, and once she sat down didn't even seem to care about them.

- whilst driving her home, she brought up an email I had written a while ago whilst she was in China, which contained my excuse as to why I couldn't attend a dinner organised by Linda. She brought it up in the context of my work and asked if I was really that busy. It might be a little plus that she remembers an email like that. Since she never partakes in these group emails, I presumed she just ignored them.

- after I stopped the car, I felt she wanted to stay and talk for a bit, but I also felt that my body language gave the "get out of my car now" impression. I can't quite put my finger on it, but maybe it was just the way I was sitting, or the fact that I hadn't put it into 'park' yet.

- there is an image that remains in my head: just before she got out of my car, she was holding the cupcake box with two hands like it was a little treasure, which was sooooooo cute!!

Thursday comp: 2-10-1

What I was at pains to say in my last post was that, wooing implies that you'd go for the girl willy nilly whether she's interested or not. So it begs the question: should I go for her regardless of her interest? Or should I play detective and try to pick up hints to assist myself and prevent humiliation?

That is the question.

I drove to work today because I had bball afterwards. I was a little earlier than usual, and thought I'd be the first one there but was surprised to see DY there.

We found out there was no court today, as one of the jurors injured her foot or something on the bus and had to be taken to hospital. She'll be out for tomorrow as well.

Everyone pretty much left at around midday, and although I ate the lunch I had brought from home, I still went out for a walk between 1 and 2. I checked out some ties and polo shirts. There were these Ralph Lauren polo shirts at like more than $100. What's up with that? Why should I pay that much for something I got for $15??

I went to the mini fruit market again. Decided to pick out any fruit which looked appealing. I selected what I thought was a big mandarin, but when I started eating it back at the office it was something else. I don't know what you call it, but I'm sure I've had it before. It's kinda red-ish inside.

As I was holding the fruit in the shopping centre on my way back to the shopping centre, my phone rang for the third time from an unknown number. The first two times had been silent. I was fairly polite and thought that maybe if it was anyone else they would've chucked in a profanity or two before hanging up.

Lucky I didn't, because when it finally worked on their side it was a receptionist from the DDP calling me for an interview.

Wow, Bush really did pass on my resume. And it really did work.

So just like that, I have an interview next Wednesday.

I was starting to think that they had disgarded my application. I wouldn't have been able to figure out why, since I thought it was alright, or at least, better than Shadi's and Kylie's - my known competitors. But now I have a lot of preparation to do. Oh well, it's worth it I guess.

The other thing that happened in the shopping centre was me noticing a giant choc-chip cookie. It was like the size of a plate. I thought maybe if you indeed do decide to 'woo' Ele, then you could start a theme where you give her some form of out of the ordinary food each time you pick her up for movies. And maybe this cookie could be next.

I stayed in the office till 4pm reading up on the case. Then I went to the post office to make a credit card payment, went to drop off my stuff in my car, then went back to the shopping centre to get some Gatorade from the supermarket. I also couldn't help but get a snack from KFC.

I drove to the courts and was about 45 minutes early. They had some sort of training for teens going on so I couldn't do anything but watch. Watching the boys train made me feel so old. They were banging into eachother for position, and it made me wish that I had gotten that type of training when I was younger.

By game time, there was only Jeff and I. And he wasn't even supposed to come, as he was filling in for his brother Marco who was apparently injured.

I was sad, angry, frustrated and humiliated.

The referee asked if we had enough players and I said they were coming. And then Paul starts shooting around with our ball on our side of the court, and he's asking questions like "where's your team?" and "are they going to come?"

WELL DO YOU SEE THEM YOU FUCK NUT???

I'm fairly sure he didn't mean anything by it, but he should understand that at times like that it's best not to be inquisitive.

I really don't know if it's my fault. Immediately after alst week's game I told everyone the game time. Yesterday I called Abi's friend and told him the game time. I messaged Fat Pat and Mike the game time. And somehow, as the clock had run six minutes into the game, I found myself sitting on the bench holding my phone.

When they finally arrived, we started off with a deficit due to the lateness. I had to go in the jump ball because no one else wanted to. I usually wouldn't have minded but I was going up against their 6"5 center. No, I did not win the jump ball.

We managed to make a short run, but it was too much of a deficit for us. I was very aware of their guard who I have watched several times play, and he just zooms from one end of the court to the other, managing to make the lay-ups and drawing fouls no matter what on the break.

I had several encounters against him when he had those chances:

1. I quickly ran across him and made a swipe, hit his hand, causing him to lose control of the ball as it rolled out of bounds. Probably should've been a foul.

2. He was running straight at me and I was the only back on defense, so I grabbed him before he could make the shot. He managed to throw it up anyway, and I held onto him as he did just to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself.

That bias girl ref called an unsportsmanship like foul.

I argued with her but gave up as it wasn't any use anyway. She said I couldn't come in from the side, whatever the fuck that meant. When the guy was shooting his free throws, the center came up next to me and said "that was more like a hug". There you go, even his teammate didn't think it warranted an unsportsmanship like foul. I was close to saying to the ref "if I wanted to commit an unsportsmanship like foul I'd take his head off".

3. I timed it till he got right close to the jump and jumped, and I jumped in front of him with my arms stretched towards the ceiling, creating a human wall. That was enough to make him chuck up a wild shot.

4. Fat Pat and I were both chasing him, and I was going to smack my hand against the backboard to try and block his shot. Fat Pat and I both jumped at the same time, but I think it was Fat Pat who deserves the credit for making him adjust his shot and missing.

I scored ZERO points, but was a lot more initiative in offense. Since I wasn't fucking getting the ball back anyway after I take it up, sometimes I'd just take it up, wait for a screen, use it and do a jump shot. It wasn't falling, but with each shot I was feeling more and more confident with my shot and my footwork.

Their center was such a softy. He apologised to me for something, which made me apoligse later on when I drove it on him and elbowed him in the face. One time, when I was taking the ball up, I thought about taking it to the rack, and I saw him standing there right underneath the basket.

Fuck this zone defense. What do they expect me to do? Go in and dunk it on a 6"5 guy?

At the end of the game, Rob came out to guard me and cheekily said "come on" or something. I grinned back and then quickly crossed him over to drive and dish.

To add to my frustrations after the game, no one wanted to do duty, and I really wanted to go because I wanted to alter my new suit in time for the interview on Wednesday. So I ended up staying with Jeff to do it. Despite the age difference (he's 18) we seem to get along pretty well. He asked to play on next season's team, and I said yes, and then started telling him that he should get the team involved more (which was the reason we preferred Marco).

I drove back home thinking about Ele. Having checked the sessions times, I found that there are no movies at 7:30 or 8-ish next Tuesday. They're all like at 9:10pm or something, and I know Ele has to get her sleep for work. So I'm pretty reluctant to organise anything for next Tuesday.

On the one hand, maybe I should make this a weekly thing and try to get to know her better that way. On the other hand, I could play the asshole and mystery cards and just disappear for a short while and then resurrect the movie thing later on.

I can feel myself falling for her. I sometimes think about the way she smiles. To make her smile or laugh gives me a sense of achievement. It makes me happy inside like nothing else. I also like the way her facial expression changes when talking to her.

But my logic keeps telling me to keep my distance. It protects me from harm, from pain. It's telling me that, as far as her faceboom status goes, she still has a boyfriend. It's telling me that, she screwed Bob over and she's very capable of doing the same to you.

The first doesn't bother me too much. Even assuming she has a boyfriend, I take it that she's lost interest in him. Kinda like the whole Emilee thing, but when I think back to it, I wonder if she really had a boyfriend who lived two doors down from her? I mean, did you ever see him? No, you just heard about him.

But anyway, as far as I'm concerned, a girl is fair game if:

- she doesn't tell you she has a boyfriend

- she comes out with you without her boyfriend and/or never mentions him to anyone else in the group on more than one occasion

- she accepts lifts from another guy

- she messages another guy saying he'd better treat her nice

- her 'boyfriend' doesn't pick her up from the airport

I'm sure there are some more, but I just can't think of them now.

The possibility of asking Eva about whether Ele has a boyfriend or not, and thereby indicating your interest in her, has crossed my mind. I wonder if that'd be a good idea.