Thursday comp: 2-5-2
Wednesday was soooooo boring! We didn't have court so I was just in the office all by myself. I did some work, but it was hard to focus because of how bored I was. I received an email back from the prosecutions, after I emailed them asking for any news, and they said that the lady was on leave, so that's why I haven't heard anything yet. I knew there was a perfectly rational explanation for it.
At the gym I started rowing, did it for about 15-20 minutes. It's kinda fun, but just hate how it's right at the front so everybody else can see you.
On Thursday I drove to work because I had bball afterwards. Had a bit of an experience with the associate. When morning tea started, I was going up to her to talk to her about some exhibits. As I started talking, she excused herself as she had to chase down RB to say something to him. Fair enough. So I stood there waiting, and then she came walking past with the judge's wife to lead her back to his office. She didn't say a word to me. Nothing so much as "I'll be back" or "sorry about that". Just walked straight past me.
It was just a grim reminder that I am still a nobody. Respect is given to all the baristas, but I feel sols are treated differently. Going to law school means nothing here. This is, of course, unless you work for the prosecution. They are always seen as the right and proper ones, and defense lawyers are always seen as dodgy and shifty.
To exemplify things, I read this article during another break. One of the bits that got me was:
So, so true. It is important to remind and ask one self often, who really cares about you? The answer may be a depressing one.
Because Mandy did a surprise appearance, Twish, Kate and I had lunch with her. When my food came, the lady asked who it belonged to, and I softly said me and put my hand up, but she didn't hear me and nearly gave it to Kate. Kate said I needed to be more assertive. So true. I really thank Kate for pointing that out.
After work I hung around the area and checked out some stores in the shopping centre for a team basketball. We had saved up enough money, and Dunnycan keeps questioning me as to how much we have, so I decided to finally get one.
Unbelievably, most sports stores did NOT sell basketballs. Rebel sold them but they were kinda crap. What ever happened to the good old days when they would sell rubber ones, synthetic lethear ones and then real leather ones? Guess no one bought the leather ones, that's why.
Anyway, I had to go to that specialist basketball store to get it. Haven't been there for ages even though it's so close to work. I always told myself I'd get that Michael Jordan DVD but they didn't have it.
At basketball we had quite a small team, as Dunnycan and Fab didn't show up (Abi is still in Perth). I'm kinad getting annoyed at Dunnycan for all these no-shows, especially when they're without notice, because he is in effect holding a roster spot which I could've given to Brendan at the beginning of the season when he wanted to play for us. But I don't want to raise that with him because it applies to me equally - why am I holding a roster spot when I have a season ending injury? I guess in the back of my mind I'm always secretly hoping for a return before the end of the season.
As I was nearing the courts I saw Macro and his girlfriend so I offered them a lift. I really like that kid, I hope he turns out well.
We played Soldiers, and kept it a close game for most parts, and even took the lead during the second half. But being out-rebounded cost us once again. I assigned Mike to box out their big guy who was grabbing all the rebounds, and Janet remarked how she doesn't think Mike likes that. So what exactly does Mike think his role as a forward is then? Score, score and score? I mean, he doesn't rebound, he doesn't block, he's always called for silly fouls.
I had to call a time out during the second half and give them a speech about wanting it. What sparked me was seeing Roger throw a bad pass which got intercepted, and he just stood there and watched. What the fuck was that?? If anyone should be chasing, it should be HIM! If you throw an intercepted pass, you should want to track that guy down and cut his head off. You can't just fucking stand there and give up.
So during the time out I was yelling at them, "YOU GOTTA WANT IT, YOU GOTTA WANT IT MAN, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE GAME BY WALKING AROUND". I could feel everyone watching and probably thinking I was going overboard, but I was just so pissed off at their lackluster effort. After the time out, it seemed I at least inspired Fat Pat as he played harder. Geoff was still his energetic self, and that's his main plus, that he's always got energy (although controlling it is another thing). He had an alright game this time, and I commended him afterwards as he and Mike did duty.
We ended up losing as the other team went on a roll and we never fired back. I think Abi is sorely missed. To make things worse, Carter got injured in like the last few minutes as he drove it in traffic and his leg got tangled up with some other bodies. He twisted his ankle and had to be helped off, and I could see when he was lying down on the bench that it was already swollen. At least it was his ankle and not his knee. I'd rather have an ankle injury than a knee injury any day, and I'm pretty sure I said that even before my knee injury.
Fat pat invited me out to eat, and I said yes, but Carter didn't want to go so I declined as well. I didn't want to be a lightbulb with just him and Janet.
Afterwards I drove back to the city and went to the casino, just in time for their prize draw thing. I figured that my best chance of repaying my credit card debt would be to try to win the thousands of dollars from that thing, and that my best chance of getting chosen would be at times when the least amount of people go - during weekdays.
I didn't get drawn, and thought I'd play a bit. I withdrew $200 and lost it on outside bets, then got $400 more and played on inside numbers. In like two spins I won it all back plus $200 on top, so walked off with a $200 gain.
On Friday we only had a half day. DC wasn't there because he had to look after his daughter, and won't be back until Wednesday. It's so quiet without him, I'm not used to it. He's almost like a social shielf for me - when he's around he can get everyone's attention which in a way hides and protects me from interaction. Yes, that's my introverted self speaking.
I haven't seen that hot para for a while now. Wonder if she was let go because it's the end of the case and they don't need as many people now. I remember talking to a sol from the other side and she was saying how busy they were because they had two people leave.
Anyway, after court GS left and it was just me and Rom Rom's team in the office. RB and Rom Rom invited me out to lunch, and because I declined last time, I felt obliged to go this time. Besides, I told myself, it'd be a good chance to build a better connection with RB.
We went to a pub and RB bought me a coke, and Rom Rom paid for the lunch, but I said I'd shout her lunch next time, which I will try to do on Monday. I still wondered why they had invited me to lunch. Did they want some inside info on my team? We half talked about the case and half talked about other things, like travelling, other work, and poker machines. A part of me couldn't believe I was eating with RB, because I kinda look up to him. If there was anyone in this case that I wish I could be like as an advocate, it would be him. He gets the job done without wasting words. Very, very professional. Doesn't smile much, but I admire how he uses words to express himself without the tone of it giving much effect.
After lunch we split as I went back to the office to do some work. I tried to rush from there to the casino to make the 6pm draw, and made a mad dash within the city but missed it by like half a minute. My legs were tired from walking so fast so I didn't feel like trekking back just yet, so I walked around a bit.
I saw that guy who lost a lot of money again. He just keeps getting $100 chips out of his pocket, I wonder how much he has. What he does is wait until the dealer spins the ball, and then in a mad rush piles down lots of chips on selected numbers, seemingly random. The look in his eye as he does it is really scary. It's like he's filled with this addiction/desperation. It really turned me off gambling. I'm sure I don't look like that, but I know I have felt that way on some occasions.
I saw another guy, Caucasian, betting big and losing. Caucasians don't usually bet big, on roulette anyway. They tend to bet small, on colours or their birthdays. He wasn't a regular, as I hadn't seen him before, and he was probably there socially, as he was with friends. I felt like stopping him because he seemed to get addicted, pulling out more money as he lost again and again. I'm sure he'll get a shitty "what the hell did I do that for?" feeling when he wakes up the next day, as I have done in the past.
Maybe it's a first, but I actually didn't gamble. At all. Watching everyone around me lose money was enough to deter me that night. Not only that, it made me appreciate how lucky I was to have won before.
I went home, grabbed my gym stuff and headed off to the gym. I did weights and a bit of rowing again. After that I changed back into my suit and drove to the basketball courts. In the middle of the night, in total darkness, I walked across the grass fields and onto the courts.
I picked my usual court and took a shot. I felt something I hadn't felt for a long time. I felt happiness. I actually truly, genuinely felt happy to be there. Even if I stopped at one shot, it would've made my day. I seriously nearly started crying because I was so happy. I don't think I've ever cried from happiness. I was just so grateful that I could be there again, shooting and dribbling.
The court was wet from earlier rain, so the ball was all wet and a bit slippery, but I didn't care. I did some close range shots, some dribbling, and even made a free throw. I was well enough to feign quick moves. I had a few attempts at one of my favourite shots (behind the backboard) and left when I made one.
I didn't hurt my knee, but I could feel that it still limited me.
I walked back to my car and put the ball back inside. I took a walk at Fox, and there was really nothing there. I bet whoever decided to turn that place into a mall is losing money big time.
I didn't feel like calling it a night yet, so drove to Coogee and took a walk there. I bought myself a spicy beef pide and a Solo and ate it at the beach. It was cold, but I really enjoyed it. I think sometimes, the peace one can get from being alone is very much underestimated.
I gave a seagull a bit of the bread and then headed back to my car to drive home.
Today I was woken up by my phone. It was my client, but he hung up just as I got to it. I caught the bus out to the city and went to the markets to get that bag for DC's birthday. I saw Rod's mum there, and she told me Rod was sleeping in the van, so I took a walk around, and even went up the street and back. When I returned he still wasn't there so I just bought the bag from her. She gave me a $10 discount which was pretty good of her. She couldn't get the credit card thing working so I had to go to the ATM across the road to get some cash. $100 for this bag. Although it's a nice bag that you can't seem to get anywhere else, I don't think I'd ever spend that much on myself for a bag.
Instead of holding the bag in a plastic bag, I decided to just wear it. So I wore it to the shopping centre nearby and checked out the movie sessions. I told myself that passing time by watching a movie would be a good way of avoiding the casino. State of Play was on in 20 minutes, so I took a quick walk around other stores before coming back to get myself a ticket and some popcorn and coke.
It was a small cinema, but it didn't really matter. Only a few people were there. It was so quiet at first you could hear someone at the back chewing.
During the movie my phone rang, and it was my client's brother. Even though I had it on silent, I had accidently pressed the 'answer' button when I had reached in for it, so I had to run out of the cinema to answer it. Funnily enough I had connection problems, and then my phone just completely lost power altogether. Weird.
The movie was pretty good. I was in the mood for a movie with a lot of story, so it was good. I was a bit afraid I wouldn't like it and that it'd ruin the "any movie with Russell Crowe in it is good" thing I had going on, but luckily it didn't. I can still rely on Russell Crowe for a good movie.
After the movie I talked myself into going to the casino anyway. I withdrew $400 and picked a table. I won $80 at first, waited a few spins and then won $100 more. I sat there without betting for a long long time, and then finally decided to cash it all in and leave. I was actually tempted to play some more, but kept asking myself, "do you want to walk away with an extra $180, or do you want to walk off with a loss of $400?"
I went home, grabbed my gym stuff and caught the bus to the gym. I got on the bike at first, but my knee seemed really stiff. I wondered if it was from the rowing or the walking in the city. It loosened up and the pain went away in a few minutes, but I knew I shouldn't push it too hard so I just stayed on it for 10 minutes, then went up to do a bit of weights and abs.
At the gym I started rowing, did it for about 15-20 minutes. It's kinda fun, but just hate how it's right at the front so everybody else can see you.
On Thursday I drove to work because I had bball afterwards. Had a bit of an experience with the associate. When morning tea started, I was going up to her to talk to her about some exhibits. As I started talking, she excused herself as she had to chase down RB to say something to him. Fair enough. So I stood there waiting, and then she came walking past with the judge's wife to lead her back to his office. She didn't say a word to me. Nothing so much as "I'll be back" or "sorry about that". Just walked straight past me.
It was just a grim reminder that I am still a nobody. Respect is given to all the baristas, but I feel sols are treated differently. Going to law school means nothing here. This is, of course, unless you work for the prosecution. They are always seen as the right and proper ones, and defense lawyers are always seen as dodgy and shifty.
To exemplify things, I read this article during another break. One of the bits that got me was:
Last year, Neil Payne was a security manager for AMP. This week he is living on the street.
Mr Payne, 41, has been sleeping on trains during the day and walking through Hyde Park at night to keep warm.
"It's difficult. You realise people don't really care" he said.
So, so true. It is important to remind and ask one self often, who really cares about you? The answer may be a depressing one.
Because Mandy did a surprise appearance, Twish, Kate and I had lunch with her. When my food came, the lady asked who it belonged to, and I softly said me and put my hand up, but she didn't hear me and nearly gave it to Kate. Kate said I needed to be more assertive. So true. I really thank Kate for pointing that out.
After work I hung around the area and checked out some stores in the shopping centre for a team basketball. We had saved up enough money, and Dunnycan keeps questioning me as to how much we have, so I decided to finally get one.
Unbelievably, most sports stores did NOT sell basketballs. Rebel sold them but they were kinda crap. What ever happened to the good old days when they would sell rubber ones, synthetic lethear ones and then real leather ones? Guess no one bought the leather ones, that's why.
Anyway, I had to go to that specialist basketball store to get it. Haven't been there for ages even though it's so close to work. I always told myself I'd get that Michael Jordan DVD but they didn't have it.
At basketball we had quite a small team, as Dunnycan and Fab didn't show up (Abi is still in Perth). I'm kinad getting annoyed at Dunnycan for all these no-shows, especially when they're without notice, because he is in effect holding a roster spot which I could've given to Brendan at the beginning of the season when he wanted to play for us. But I don't want to raise that with him because it applies to me equally - why am I holding a roster spot when I have a season ending injury? I guess in the back of my mind I'm always secretly hoping for a return before the end of the season.
As I was nearing the courts I saw Macro and his girlfriend so I offered them a lift. I really like that kid, I hope he turns out well.
We played Soldiers, and kept it a close game for most parts, and even took the lead during the second half. But being out-rebounded cost us once again. I assigned Mike to box out their big guy who was grabbing all the rebounds, and Janet remarked how she doesn't think Mike likes that. So what exactly does Mike think his role as a forward is then? Score, score and score? I mean, he doesn't rebound, he doesn't block, he's always called for silly fouls.
I had to call a time out during the second half and give them a speech about wanting it. What sparked me was seeing Roger throw a bad pass which got intercepted, and he just stood there and watched. What the fuck was that?? If anyone should be chasing, it should be HIM! If you throw an intercepted pass, you should want to track that guy down and cut his head off. You can't just fucking stand there and give up.
So during the time out I was yelling at them, "YOU GOTTA WANT IT, YOU GOTTA WANT IT MAN, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE GAME BY WALKING AROUND". I could feel everyone watching and probably thinking I was going overboard, but I was just so pissed off at their lackluster effort. After the time out, it seemed I at least inspired Fat Pat as he played harder. Geoff was still his energetic self, and that's his main plus, that he's always got energy (although controlling it is another thing). He had an alright game this time, and I commended him afterwards as he and Mike did duty.
We ended up losing as the other team went on a roll and we never fired back. I think Abi is sorely missed. To make things worse, Carter got injured in like the last few minutes as he drove it in traffic and his leg got tangled up with some other bodies. He twisted his ankle and had to be helped off, and I could see when he was lying down on the bench that it was already swollen. At least it was his ankle and not his knee. I'd rather have an ankle injury than a knee injury any day, and I'm pretty sure I said that even before my knee injury.
Fat pat invited me out to eat, and I said yes, but Carter didn't want to go so I declined as well. I didn't want to be a lightbulb with just him and Janet.
Afterwards I drove back to the city and went to the casino, just in time for their prize draw thing. I figured that my best chance of repaying my credit card debt would be to try to win the thousands of dollars from that thing, and that my best chance of getting chosen would be at times when the least amount of people go - during weekdays.
I didn't get drawn, and thought I'd play a bit. I withdrew $200 and lost it on outside bets, then got $400 more and played on inside numbers. In like two spins I won it all back plus $200 on top, so walked off with a $200 gain.
On Friday we only had a half day. DC wasn't there because he had to look after his daughter, and won't be back until Wednesday. It's so quiet without him, I'm not used to it. He's almost like a social shielf for me - when he's around he can get everyone's attention which in a way hides and protects me from interaction. Yes, that's my introverted self speaking.
I haven't seen that hot para for a while now. Wonder if she was let go because it's the end of the case and they don't need as many people now. I remember talking to a sol from the other side and she was saying how busy they were because they had two people leave.
Anyway, after court GS left and it was just me and Rom Rom's team in the office. RB and Rom Rom invited me out to lunch, and because I declined last time, I felt obliged to go this time. Besides, I told myself, it'd be a good chance to build a better connection with RB.
We went to a pub and RB bought me a coke, and Rom Rom paid for the lunch, but I said I'd shout her lunch next time, which I will try to do on Monday. I still wondered why they had invited me to lunch. Did they want some inside info on my team? We half talked about the case and half talked about other things, like travelling, other work, and poker machines. A part of me couldn't believe I was eating with RB, because I kinda look up to him. If there was anyone in this case that I wish I could be like as an advocate, it would be him. He gets the job done without wasting words. Very, very professional. Doesn't smile much, but I admire how he uses words to express himself without the tone of it giving much effect.
After lunch we split as I went back to the office to do some work. I tried to rush from there to the casino to make the 6pm draw, and made a mad dash within the city but missed it by like half a minute. My legs were tired from walking so fast so I didn't feel like trekking back just yet, so I walked around a bit.
I saw that guy who lost a lot of money again. He just keeps getting $100 chips out of his pocket, I wonder how much he has. What he does is wait until the dealer spins the ball, and then in a mad rush piles down lots of chips on selected numbers, seemingly random. The look in his eye as he does it is really scary. It's like he's filled with this addiction/desperation. It really turned me off gambling. I'm sure I don't look like that, but I know I have felt that way on some occasions.
I saw another guy, Caucasian, betting big and losing. Caucasians don't usually bet big, on roulette anyway. They tend to bet small, on colours or their birthdays. He wasn't a regular, as I hadn't seen him before, and he was probably there socially, as he was with friends. I felt like stopping him because he seemed to get addicted, pulling out more money as he lost again and again. I'm sure he'll get a shitty "what the hell did I do that for?" feeling when he wakes up the next day, as I have done in the past.
Maybe it's a first, but I actually didn't gamble. At all. Watching everyone around me lose money was enough to deter me that night. Not only that, it made me appreciate how lucky I was to have won before.
I went home, grabbed my gym stuff and headed off to the gym. I did weights and a bit of rowing again. After that I changed back into my suit and drove to the basketball courts. In the middle of the night, in total darkness, I walked across the grass fields and onto the courts.
I picked my usual court and took a shot. I felt something I hadn't felt for a long time. I felt happiness. I actually truly, genuinely felt happy to be there. Even if I stopped at one shot, it would've made my day. I seriously nearly started crying because I was so happy. I don't think I've ever cried from happiness. I was just so grateful that I could be there again, shooting and dribbling.
The court was wet from earlier rain, so the ball was all wet and a bit slippery, but I didn't care. I did some close range shots, some dribbling, and even made a free throw. I was well enough to feign quick moves. I had a few attempts at one of my favourite shots (behind the backboard) and left when I made one.
I didn't hurt my knee, but I could feel that it still limited me.
I walked back to my car and put the ball back inside. I took a walk at Fox, and there was really nothing there. I bet whoever decided to turn that place into a mall is losing money big time.
I didn't feel like calling it a night yet, so drove to Coogee and took a walk there. I bought myself a spicy beef pide and a Solo and ate it at the beach. It was cold, but I really enjoyed it. I think sometimes, the peace one can get from being alone is very much underestimated.
I gave a seagull a bit of the bread and then headed back to my car to drive home.
Today I was woken up by my phone. It was my client, but he hung up just as I got to it. I caught the bus out to the city and went to the markets to get that bag for DC's birthday. I saw Rod's mum there, and she told me Rod was sleeping in the van, so I took a walk around, and even went up the street and back. When I returned he still wasn't there so I just bought the bag from her. She gave me a $10 discount which was pretty good of her. She couldn't get the credit card thing working so I had to go to the ATM across the road to get some cash. $100 for this bag. Although it's a nice bag that you can't seem to get anywhere else, I don't think I'd ever spend that much on myself for a bag.
Instead of holding the bag in a plastic bag, I decided to just wear it. So I wore it to the shopping centre nearby and checked out the movie sessions. I told myself that passing time by watching a movie would be a good way of avoiding the casino. State of Play was on in 20 minutes, so I took a quick walk around other stores before coming back to get myself a ticket and some popcorn and coke.
It was a small cinema, but it didn't really matter. Only a few people were there. It was so quiet at first you could hear someone at the back chewing.
During the movie my phone rang, and it was my client's brother. Even though I had it on silent, I had accidently pressed the 'answer' button when I had reached in for it, so I had to run out of the cinema to answer it. Funnily enough I had connection problems, and then my phone just completely lost power altogether. Weird.
The movie was pretty good. I was in the mood for a movie with a lot of story, so it was good. I was a bit afraid I wouldn't like it and that it'd ruin the "any movie with Russell Crowe in it is good" thing I had going on, but luckily it didn't. I can still rely on Russell Crowe for a good movie.
After the movie I talked myself into going to the casino anyway. I withdrew $400 and picked a table. I won $80 at first, waited a few spins and then won $100 more. I sat there without betting for a long long time, and then finally decided to cash it all in and leave. I was actually tempted to play some more, but kept asking myself, "do you want to walk away with an extra $180, or do you want to walk off with a loss of $400?"
I went home, grabbed my gym stuff and caught the bus to the gym. I got on the bike at first, but my knee seemed really stiff. I wondered if it was from the rowing or the walking in the city. It loosened up and the pain went away in a few minutes, but I knew I shouldn't push it too hard so I just stayed on it for 10 minutes, then went up to do a bit of weights and abs.
posted by toey | 20:25
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