Street Fighter: Alpha Generation

Wanted to hand wash my car this morning, but just as I stepped out the door with my bucket and sponge, I felt a few drops of rain. I waited a bit and it slowly got heavier, so I just went out to the shopping centre near me to look for a DVD rack.

I couldn't really find what I was looking for. I want one that is just one column and quite tall, that can fit at least 50 DVDs, but the ones I found were either too small or not my type of design. My goal then changed to looking for that Chun Li movie which was never released in the Australian cinemas, so I waited for the newly opened JB Hi-Fi to open and checked things out there.

It's not as big as the other ones, but there's a hairdressing place next door and it'd be a perfect size if they took that over. The security guard there looked familiar, I think he works at the city one. God it's a little embarassing if he recognises me. He must think I'm up to something if I'm popping up at all their branches.

I couldn't find the movie so I drove back home, still intent on washing my car if the clouds went away.

I checked out a few work emails and bummed around on the net before deciding to check out that Asian DVD store in Chinksford. Spoke to my client on the phone while I was browsing there. They didn't have it either, and I also noticed their prices were pretty high as well.

I then spoke to my client's brother on the phone as I walked back to my car. I then drove to Bondi to check out that JB Hi-Fi. God, I was going JB Hi-Fi-crawling. I couldn't find the movie there either, and was content to just try to find a decent movie to watch, but couldn't find anything, until I saw in the anime section "Street Fighter: Alpha Generation". Despite it being a $24, 45 minute cartoon, I decided to buy it. I was in the mood to see something different like this anyway.

So I bought it and then drove back to the shopping centre near me to try out the nacho fries I had seen and kept in my mind from a few weeks ago! I also ended up getting a burrito because I feared the picture of the fries was a lot larger than the real thing, but it turned out to be a decent size. I was so eager to get home and enjoy the meal while watching Street Fighter!

I got home, and unpacked everything and settled down in front of the tv. I shared the chips with my mom. It wasn't as hot as it was, but it was still good. It was so much food! I managed to barely finish the chips after the burrito. God I don't think I'll have that much again.

The cartoon/movie was alright. It makes me want to watch more, but I don't think I can afford to start collecting this shit. I think there are lots out there to see and collect.

That gambling crave is slowly coming back. It usually comes back very strong after wins. The cycle seems like this: if you lose, you will tell yourself never to gamble again. If you win, even if you win back 1% of your total losses, you will feel like you can do it again and so you will want to return. Of course, you will lose eventually and the cycle repeats itself.

But even though I've won a total of $895 this month, the crave isn't as strong as it should be. I seem to still have that precautionary type of mentality. Maybe it's because of the huge loss I suffered last month. In a way, I feel invincible, like I've stumbled upon some sort of secret system that can get me wins consistently. But of course, that is a fool's way of thinking. The exact type of thinking that will get you into trouble.

I must stay away from gambling for at least a week, just so my winnings can have some sort of effect. The way I see it is, if you intend to continuously gamble, whatever mone you win can never truly be yours, it can never be locked in, never crystallised. Why? Because by continuously gambling, you are putting that money at risk, exposing it to vulnerability every time. Theoretically, you can really only lock it away if you stop gambling.

So what I'm trying to say is, I should at least let my winnings reduce my credit card debt for at least a week (to reduce the interest) before venturing into it again. Otherwise, what's the point of winning if you're just going to lose it back the next night?

I'd also like for it to be known that my winnings thus far have all been luck. I bet that the ball would land in my half of the wheel, and it has. Every visit thus far I have been able to walk away with a win. That is, very, very lucky. Because the alternative reality could've happened: it could've landed in the other half of the wheel just once, and that would change things dramatically. So I am very, very lucky.

I have been thinking a bit about that massage girl. I wonder if I had developed some feelings for her, and I wonder if she had developed some feelings for me. Sometimes when I'm walking around shopping centres or markets, I imagine her with me. I imagine showing her things which are foreign to her, and which she might find novel or interesting. I think about that last time we were together, the way she held me so tightly, was that real? Or did she just feel obliged because I had become a regular? Or did she suffer some sort of emotional problems and used me as a substitute boyfriend?

I also wonder what I should do when she comes back. I mean, if I book her, then she might think I have been calling up all the time to see if she's back, which seems a bit stalker-ish. The alternative is I could just call to make sure she is working that night, go check out the line up, she will be in it, and it will just seem spontaneous like that. But the downside to that is she will think I have been seeing other girls during her absence. The nice guy in me says that is not the way to go.